#kinda like a band of imaginary friends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sleephyuns · 1 year ago

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Jeongyeon couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in her stomach. Fuck the encouragement she got earlier, she was way in over her head.

It wasn’t jealousy, certainly not that. But something about seeing her here, as a physical person, not just just someone Jihyo mentioned in passing, or the small disembodied profile picture of an instagram account she never bothered to follow no matter how many times Jihyo showed her-

it was jarring. Like something that was never meant to seep out into her world.

But how could she have expected otherwise when they were into the same person?

Jihyo still wasn’t there yet, coming back from class and all, leaving just the two of them. Jeongyeon, picking at her nails and taking sips of her iced tea every few seconds. And Sana…

Sana alternating between looking down at her phone and staring up at her with those big brown eyes and her scarily happy smile and kicking at the duffle bag that propped up her feet.

That was what Jeongyeon saw first before even looking at Sana’s face, the purple bag hanging over the seat, littered with keychains and sown on patches. Jeongyeon wondered what it would sound like walking around with it, and how much attention she’d drawn when walking into the diner first.

The girl definitely looked like someone who would turn heads, regardless of the bag. And Jeongyeon couldn’t help but feel uneasy about that.

“So… it’s been pretty rainy today. Kinda sucks for classes huh?” she started, in hopes of getting anything. Just something. Some sort of conversation to make her adrenaline pump a little less. Enough to offer up to Jihyo with a, ‘Look! See!! We actually had a decent conversation!’

But she was painfully reminded, after Sana glanced up from her phone, now with an unimpressed look on her face, that talking to people took a lot more than mentioning the weather.

And even worse (as she began to respond anyway), it took around the 4th minute of Sana’s rambling about her perils with contacts, that they both realized ‘classes’ and ‘glasses’ sounded awfully similar.

The look on Sana’s face at her eventual realization made things all the more awkward.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman cringed at her own laughter, “It’s just that I usually wear glasses, but I’ve started wearing contacts for this exact reason. Well, sort of. There’s a few reasons but…”

She sounded as if she wanted to ramble some more, but stopped herself.

The silence after did nothing to calm Jeongyeon’s nerves. In fact, that little deviation hadn’t helped at all. She wished Jihyo would hurry up and she wished she could think of anything other than Nayeon making a fool of herself with rain all over her glasses in this type of weather. But it was the only other thought she could muster to distract from the awkwardness between them.

So be it.

She took her mind off Sana to look out the window and conjure up the image of a drenched Nayeon in her mind. Imaginary Nayeon let out a loud complaint about forgetting an umbrella before face-planting into the wet grass under her. Jeongyeon had to choke back a laugh before paying attention to Sana again. She’d said something but Jeongyeon’s mind was clearly somewhere else.

“Um, I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“I said it’s raining pretty hard now. I hope Jihyo gets here alright...”

There were more words on the edge of her lips, Jeongyeon noted, as Sana played with the shining gold ring on her right hand. It was familiar somehow.

“That’s a nice ring.” It was gold with a small band of silver in the middle. It looked to have something engraved, but Jeongyeon couldn’t get a good look at it from where she was.

“Oh, thank you. Momo has the same one.”

That was it. “Right, you’ve been friends for a long time I bet.”

“We have… we know a lot about each other and I think we always will.”

Unfortunately, Jeongyeon’s mind got the better of her before she could reel it in. And because of that, she was hit with the fact that, yes, Momo had sex with Sana too. ‘Not as much as she had with Jeongyeon or me,’ which Nayeon had very bluntly (and drunkenly) divulged one evening (and to Momo’s dread).

That was a place her mind definitely shouldn’t have gone. She made a desperate attempt to bring back imaginary rain-soaked Nayeon, but then finally, the door shook open. The very woman they’d been waiting for appeared in the doorframe like a blessing.

“Sorry I’m late!” Jihyo fastened the strap around the umbrella, letting the rainwater drip onto the mat under her. The hostess smiled her way, nodding in understanding while Jihyo walked over to where she was expected.

“I was soaked by the time I got home so I had to change. And then I couldn’t find the umbrella anywhere because you moved it last time you cleaned and-”

“It was under the-“

“Under the tv stand, I know I know,” Jihyo laughed, “that’s where you like to keep it. We should get one of those holders to put it next to the shoe rack in the entryway.”

“We should…” Jeongyeon couldn’t help but look at the third woman with them from the corner of her eye. But in a frightening twist, she was already staring at her, her chin perched up on her hands, fingers intertwined, and an ominous smile on her face.

Scary.

“So… how have you two been?”

Jihyo grabbed her attention once more, standing at the end of the table.

Jeongyeon could barely focus on the question because she was too busy watching Jihyo like it was the moment of truth. She had two options in front of her, rather two optional seats in front of her. Crowding in next to her girlfriend of several years, or setting up shop next to Sana in what would feel like an impromptu interview about Jeongyeon’s current feelings. Which would she choose? And was Sana wondering the same thing?

She sent another quick glance her way… then another because she realized Sana had still been watching her the whole time. Now that her eyes were on her again, she didn’t know wether to look away in awkward shame or keep the contact with the smirking woman.

“I’d say we’ve been good, right Jeongyeon?”

It’d been minutes since she actually heard Sana speak, and it almost made her jump.

“Right…” she trailed off, looking back to the table once she was released from the imaginary hold Sana had on her.

“I see!” Jihyo laughed, followed by a harsh scraping across the floor. Jeongyeon could see Sana wince at the noise a bit, from under her eyelashes, making her turn to the source. There sat Jihyo at the end of the table, a chair pulled up so she could sit between them.

Of course.

“Are either of you hungry?” Jihyo rifled through her purse for her wallet, “I might order some fries if you want to share.”

“Sure!”

“Yeah, I…”

This was proving to be difficult already.

“Anyway, how was class?” Jeongyeon asked, trying her best to act normal.

“It was alright, not much to do today other than go over our progress with the advisor. I’m a little behind but that shouldn’t be too bad. A night or two of work should set me straight.”

Jeongyeon always loved how sure Jihyo was of herself when she spoke about her coursework. It was inspiring, really. She was so proud of Jihyo for getting as far as she had…. and surely she didn’t need relationship troubles to get in the way of her progress.

A pang of guilt shot through her heart.

“Are you going to be alright with me over?” Sana spoke up. Jeongyeon wondered if she had the same thought. “I don’t want to distract you.”

“It’s alright, and besides,” Jihyo stretched her arms over her head, then left one arm up to flag the waitress down, “I feel like I need to relax from it anyway. Have some fun. Don’t wanna get burned out, right?” Sana gave a solid nod, like she knew exactly what Jihyo was talking about. Well, she probably did. Getting her master’s too and all….

Right, she should ask about that.

Jihyo ordered the fries for the table, and an iced tea for herself, while Jeongyeon built up the courage to ask Sana her question.

But Jihyo continued speaking before she could even get a word out. “Oh you know what might be fun? Playing some games! Mina-“

Sana’s smile faltered for just a second.

“-gave me her old switch so I could get better at playing. We should do that later!” Jihyo exclaimed, looking as happy and not-awkward as ever. Meanwhile Jeongyeon was still thinking on Sana’s reaction.

“We can teach you. Or at least Jeongyeon can. She’s really good at all that game stuff.” Jihyo gripped her hand over the table and while that should have made her happy, being the center of attention suddenly made her want to sink into the floor.

“I’d love to, it sounds fun,” Sana beamed, as if that minor slip hadn’t happened. Far too bright for such a gloomy day.

Well, at least they had part of a plan on what to do for their first day together. Being set up in front of the tv later meant Jeongyeon could suggest a movie too. That required even less talking, maybe none at all. She’d have an excuse. And hopefully Jihyo wouldn’t question it if she didn’t say a word. Now all she had to do was get through the rest of this and-

“All that work on tech and you still aren’t good at games. That’s sad Jiji.”

Jiji? Since when did anyone call her Jiji? Jeongyeon didn’t even call her that.

“Hey, I didn’t say I was bad! I give Jeong a run for her money. Sometimes. And hey it’s not like you’re any better than me!” She stuck out her tongue playfully.

Sana laughed and rolled her eyes, which Jeongyeon would have found hilariously endearing if Sana wasn’t such an enigma.

“You know, overly defensive behaviors usually mean I’m close to the truth.”

“You love to analyze things don’t you,” Jihyo rolled her eyes right back, “I guess that’s what you’re trained to do at this point, hm?”

“It doesn’t take that many years of study to know when someone’s being a bit of a sore loser.”

Jihyo playfully winced, making Sana laugh even harder.

The banter had Jeongyeon shifting nervously in her seat. But… something they’d just mentioned got the gears in her brain turning and her stomach churning.

“Wait, so…,” Jeongyeon’s own voice sounded foreign to her, “what is it that you’re getting your master’s in?”

Everything was quiet then. All the background chatter in the dinner tuned out. The rain stopped its pattering against the window. Even the waitress setting down the tea and fries made no sound.

Sana looked Jeongyeon right in the eyes, smiled that big smile and said-

“Childhood counseling and therapy. I have my bachelor’s in psychology.”

A therapist…

just perfect.

Jeongyeon should just run away right now, shouldn’t she?

#and here it is!#tied together au #jeonghyo #sahyo #jeongyeon #jihyo #sana

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saturnisaroace · 3 days ago

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Would you be my mom's friend (when she was a child/teen):

She loved reading

She loved Anne of Green Gables

She played both piano & violin

She HATES band kids so much & thinks they aren't real musicians (she married one tho so.........)

She HATES science nerds (she married one tho.......)

She is an introvert

She had like I think 2 friends the most

Every weekend her parents would force her to break up with her bf/my dad but after the weekend they'd get back together

She HATES alcoh0lics

She HATES smok3r

She loves horses

She loves Full House

She had imaginary siblings who were the Full House characters

She was an only child

She HATES being an only child

She loves animals

She likes history

She HATES math

She loves English

She aspires to learn Spanish & Hawaiian

She aspires to at least visit Hawaii once

She loves the band Queen

She loves the Beach Boys

She's ambidextrous

She loves the beach

She wishes she was a mermaid

Fuck idk what else she likes the color pink?

Oh yeah she also believes she used to have Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

lmao she sounds kinda fun😭

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autisticempathydaemon · 10 months ago

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hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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lola-babylon · 1 year ago

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Ryan Ross does not exist and I can prove it

Don't worry. He's not.

Ryan Ross fans continue to wait patiently for any sign of new music from him. Some loved his work in Panic at the Disco, some are huge fans of his solo releases and live performances captured on YouTube, And as long as you're into pretty looking guys, there's a Ryan Ross for every bisexual taste. Hold up. Is it not kinda weird that he looked so very different in every six month period?

Where is he, the prodigious beautiful boy whose creative vision propelled an early Panic at the Disco to their early fame? It's like it was never real.

It was never real. Ryan Ross does not exist.

"Ryan Ross" was only ever a dream, an alternative persona Pete Wentz created in 2004. Pete wanted to delve further into his adolescent experiences in song lyrics, but fearing the ridicule that would come if Fall Out Boy, now all well into their twenties, started exploring such themes, he brooded over what to do before deciding he could create a new band. He'd find young, talented performers for the positions of lead singer, drums and bass who would perform as themselves; but Pete would insert himself into the band via an avatar, a brooding, Chuck Palanhiuk reading lyricist who would exorcise Pete's teenage demons through the character of "Ryan Ross".

Pete drafted a back story for Ryan Ross - a young kid from Vegas who'd found solace in words and music - then scouted for young, unknown performers who could embody his Ryan Ross character. Any performer who would play the Ryan Ross character obviously had to be able to sing at least well enough to perform live harmonies, and to play guitar. But there are hundreds of young musicians with these skills. And whilst viewing yet another stack of videos of guitar playing 18 year olds who'd responded to the ad that simply asked for audition tapes from young admirers of Blink 182, MCR and FOB who were interested in playing guitar in a new band, Pete hit on an idea.

After all, if he cast an upcoming new performer as "Ryan Ross" in the new band he was putting together, and the band hit it big, surely that person would demand to be outed to the public as their real selves. The intention was always for any musician performing as Ryan Ross to sign an NDA as part of their contract, but Pete could envision a nightmare scenario two or three years into the hopefully successful career of the band he was putting together; a musician tired of the lie and wanting their own share of glory telling him "hey Pete, sure you write the lyrics, but it's me who is up on stage, playing the music, singing, on the magazines, in the webzines. I want people to know it's me, not this imaginary Ryan Ross character".

If that happened, no NDA would be worth as much as the outcry from the media and fans, as much as a musician who signed a contract as a naive teenager would demand as a seasoned performer with years of touring under his belt.

Realising this, Pete hit on the evil genius element of his whole scheme (and also a lyric for London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines). There wouldn't be one Ryan Ross. Instead, from the time he first hyped up the band in blog posts in 2005, there would be a continually rotating cast of "Ryans": every few months, there would be a new skinny jeans wearing guitarist to take over the role of Ryan, to ensure that no individual "Ryan" would ever believe they had enough star power to pull the whole project down.

These are all pictures of the same person? Really?

With high school friends Brendon, Spencer and Brent, and the first of the "Ryan"s in place, Pete's Panic project hit the ground running. There's was even an adorable story of how Pete discovered the band when Fall Out Boy fan Ryan sent him his new band's demos via Live Journal - simultaneously an "it might happen to you" moment for the Millennial generation, and prompting baffled takes on what this internet thing means for music from older music journalists.

That origin story was the closest anyone got to pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Emo. The true origins of Panic at the Disco - how and why Pete and Ryan actually made the initial connection that made Pete listen to a fan's demos, drive to Vegas to listen to their band barely able to play their instruments live, then sign said band on this slim basis - was a murky, kalaedoscopic story, "details shifting between each telling of the tale[...] details behind how they made contact, and what was said, are eternally changing and never told quite the same way twice". No wonder, when it entered the record on the basis of a Pete Wentz needing to obscure the truth, and a succession of Ryans reciting for interviewers someone else's memory of what never happened.

But the obvious part of the deception - the fact that "Ryan Ross" never looked like the same person from one season to the next? Pete could barely believe he got away with it, but he did. No one seemed to question it. Fans eagerly took up the myth of Ryan Ross, expanding on an invented history to begin Ryan's story from his birth in Summerlin, Nevada in 1986, despite that before development of the residential community commenced in 1988 Summerlin was empty land - how apt that the boy who did not exist was born in a place that did not exist.

Journalists who slept through the lectures on fact checking on their way through college added this (mis)information to their articles, further obscuring the record.

Initially shocked he was pulling the deception off, by the end Pete glowered at his success getting in away with it.

For the potential Ryans were not simply a series of lookalikes. Aside from musical skills and a willingness to subsume their identity in the face of endless touring and inane interviews, potential "Ryans" were mostly selected on finger length, and for their noses; every "Ryan" has a beautiful nose.

Each new Ryan was put through an intensive Panic boot camp; several weeks of learning the bands songs, memorising the back story of the band and Ryan himself, studying videos of the "standard" Ryan mannerisms before joining the band for rehearsals. With Pete himself having the final say, producers scouting for potential Ryans generally stuck to contenders from the south west USA to ensure a consistent accent; although vocal coaches worked with each "Ryan" to develop the trade mark mono tone, the brief experiment in hiring a British performer to play Ryan in 2008 nearly ended in disaster when he kept slipping into his native accent, which to Pete's eternal amusement has gone down in fandom history as the "real", American Ryan trying to sound English.

But even though the music press, and even the rabidly devoted fandom, never seemed to catch on to the fake Ryans, problems inevitably arose. It was easy to get 18 year old guitarists to agree to the stringent conditions required to be Ryan Ross; but despite that Pete allowed some leeway from the performers, allowing them freedom in their social lives and styling choices to reflect the maturing of a real young person, by the time 22 year olds were hired to be Ryan, fresh in on the scam they may have lacked the star power to use Panic to launch their own careers but they were still young men exposed to more money and adulation than they'd seen before, and some of them were making questionable choices.

By 2009, Brendon and Spencer were sick of the lies. They just wanted to continue the music. Pete Wentz saw how Brendon in particular had blossomed in skills and confidence through the years. He also saw the way the commercial winds were blowing - the introspective lyricism of "Ryan Ross" was out, to judge from the reception on its release of Pretty. Odd. On top of all this, "Ryan Ross" was now ostensibly 22; too old to sing about the trials of late adolescence, which had been Pete's reason for creating his Ryan alter ego in the first place.

Seeing the potential long term appeal in a Brendon-driven Panic, Pete told Brendon and Spencer to go forth as Panic at the Disco with his blessing...and let's never mention Ryan again.

Pete's scouting skills weren't impeccable. He let the original band bring along their friend Brent as bass player, despite his shaky skills and apparent lack of commitment. Brent may have played little part in the creation of the band's first album and definitely found touring not to his taste, and he was soon replaced with the far more talented and present Jon Walker, who already had a respectable pedigree in the Chicago scene that spawned Fall Out Boy. Jon participated, albeit reluctantly, in the Ryan charade, forming a close friendship and musical kinship with the last of the fake Ryans. When Pete informed the group that his dream of the fake Ryans was coming to an end, Jon decided to follow this last Ryan, forming the group The Young Veins. Whilst they both appreciated the musicianship, Jon grew increasingly frustrated with the Ryan charade, having to continue the lie of Ryan Ross as the last of the Ryans remained bound by the non disclosure agreement. With sales of the Young Veins debut album not matching the hopes of its creators, Jon left and the band split after just one year.

And thus ended the contractual existence of "Ryan Ross", creation of Pete Wentz.

Some think Brendon looks startled when Ryan is mentioned. It's not because Ryden was ever a thing. There was no Ry for Bren to Den with, just an ever changing cast of young musicians hired by Pete Wentz to be his avatar. When Brendon pauses now he's not lamenting his lost love. He's reflecting on the lie he had to keep up for years and thinking "wait, what was the official line again?"

The Ryan Ross character has been occasionally revived in recent years as a conceptual art project by the musician Z Berg, teasing an album that never arrives, with the role of Ryan in occasional public appearances performed by a few of the former Ryans who are in on the joke. The Ryan Ross character made his last public appearance in 2022, joining former Panic label mates Phantom Planet for a live performance of Do the Panic - a wink to long standing fans of PATD/"Ryan Ross" (and a song that sounds like a dual pastiche to Pumping on Your Stereo by Supergrass and Just What I Needed by The Cars; there really is nothing original under the sun).

There will never be a reunion of the original, "real" Panic at the Disco because the original Panic at the Disco was never real. There will never be a Ryan Ross album because there is no Ryan Ross. Maybe in some future memoir Pete Wentz will tell us all how it was done.

This post is satire. Please do not take it seriously. The real Ryan Ross, who is an individual, actual person, is alive and well and researching literature of the transition from medieval to middle English through USC. (Well, who knows but that seems like something he might do)

#pre split panic #ryan ross #brendon urie #this is a joke #shitpost #pete wentz #panic at the disco #Ryan Ross isn't real

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meanhare · 3 months ago

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very specific distractions

because things like "read, draw, walk" are kinda not hepful for me personally (what to read? what to draw? where walk?). also if you have no friends you can do all these alone bc i also have no friends. warning: some of them are kinda edgy

learn about sodas over the world and make a list of 10 (or more) sodas you want to try the most

draw your fav character in decora, scene, patched crustpunk or any other clothes/style that are long and/or hard to draw

learn armenian, georgian, katakana or any other unfamiliar alphabet/writing system

find in library and read any book about antarctica

watch bela tarr's satantango

find hungarian bands that play your fav music genre

google and read about twonosed dog breeds

go outside and take pics of your fav 10 buildings in your city

take some money and buy more pants and/or socks (theres always not enough of them +you dont have to try on them and then cry in change room)

depict your ideal room in details

create an alien/fantastic animal/breed, draw it and describe its habital, height, weight, color, natural enemies, diseases it prone to, how common are mutations like albinism or polydactylia etc

write n details whole 5 pages of how you feel like. if you feel bad, write how awful is everything, how you want (or dont want)it to end, how shitty is your mood. if you feel nothing, write how you are not feeling, how empty and desolated it feels.

learn how to make an origami of your fav animal

burn some trash

create a secret blog. it may be for something you like, for writing honest opinions, for pretending that you are cishet christian gymbro, anything. take time to made out a good name and url and find a good pfp

learn few songs on other languages

try every tea you can find. sometimes theres boxes of assorted teabags with different tastes, its good for trying different kinds

do some jigsaw puzzles. theres many online jigsaw sites

(re)watch or read an interview of your fav obscure music band

find even obscurer music band

learn about some east asian holidays and plan to celebrate some of them

draw your recent dream in mspaint

switch language on you tumblr/phone/computer to one you dont know (but only if you familiar with your device enough and know how to change it back for if necessary)

find some longass 100question ask game and answer every question (no need to post it, you can do it in your head or write it down in a notebook)

make picrews of yourself, ideal you, your friend, your imaginary friend, pet, musician or character

learn how to swear on every language

go to any poll blog and vote

duolingo. yes

if you dont have mustache and beard, draw it on your face and maybe take some selfies with it for fun

watch that movie someone somewhere once recommended you but you still didnt watched somewhy

write or draw something very unsetting what would probably get you termed instantly if you post it online

brush your hair, your dog/cats hair, your toy ponys hair, anything brushable

read the whole wikipedia page about any subculture you find interesting

get some stickers and stick them anywhere in your room

write lists of favs (fav drinks, bands, dog breeds, movies etc)

read modern ukrainian writers. sergiy zhadan, irena karpa, yurij andrukhowych (idk if i wrote their name in english correctly) also make music, check it out

search for your local bands (the easiest way is to search your city tag in bandcamp)

then search for your local concerts. go to your local concerts of your local bands. most of them are cheap

get a blindbox toy. idc if youre adult. its fun. maybe get a kinder surprise egg if you can (a chocolate egg is usually 110-120kcal)

watch some good old bloody slasher or japanese horror movie

get a notebook with a locker and make a fucking anadiary. make it sappy or overdramatic or heroinchicy or 80rockstary. doesnt matter

google about arsons in your hometown and look at cool fire pics

#ed br #ed cw #boy ed #ana male #anor3c1a #ed blogg

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dumber-alek · 4 months ago

Note

20&21 for music asks? 🩵🩵

Oh Hiii thanks for asking 🥰🥰🥰

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Since whenever I come across anything that could have vague or dual meaning my brain starts to smoke and I can't proceed. And this question makes me think of 'songs you have different interpretations for' and 'a song that you associate with many things'....

So I'm just gonna do both.

For songs that I have a couple of interpretations... There's Penny by Jack Stauber. It's a very short one:

Penny told me that we're all gonna go someday

And it made me mad

Yes, it made me very unhappy

So I told her dad

And he took me into the city

He said son when, you grow up, would you shut up?

Son when, you grow up, just shut up

It's brilliant and I love it : it kinda references the MCR Welcome to the Black Parade, right? Now I'm not going to say anything that's too observant but in MCR's song the narrator's father gives him an inspirational bit of wisdom and here the narrator's friends dad just thinks he's being an annoying brat (and a snitch!).

And it could be just that a short song with a funny twist, but as someone who got my first existential crisis at age 5 i REALLY relate to this song. And I feel like this builds on this feeling of desperation you feel when you're small and you find out everything and everyone is gonna die someday.

So you raise this issue to someone who you think has all the answers. And when you're small, that someone is an adult. And adults have this way of getting really angry when kids ask them questions they can't answer - the friend's dad here is most likely just as horrified by the inevitability of death as the narrator is. So he tells the kid, shut up. I have no idea if this meaning is in any way intented (not that it matters), but that's just how I see this song.

As for songs that has many associations to me... I'd say Once Around The Block but the Kings of Convenience version. I discovered it when I was 14-ish through an Ace Attorney Phoenix/Edgeworth slideshow (and I haven't even played the game then!) and KoC is still one of my most favourite bands of all time. It makes me think of that video, of middle school, of taking walks in the rain when my city was going through big floods, and of a starting not-yet-relationship. It also makes me feel of an imaginary life someone else who isn't me has in my head! Many things.

21: favourite song with someone's name in the title

Oh in repeating myself but Francesca by Hozier! First of all i love that its a Divine Comedy reference, and it's such a beautiful powerful song 😭

#alek lore #ahhh sorry i gor carried away here a big #a bit shdh #thank you 🥰#ask

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disruptxrr · 1 year ago

Note

tell us a couple sid fun facts :^3

i'm late to answer this, but i'm gonna brainwash you all into thinking i'm not.

umm let's see…. my favorite song of all time in the history of the universe is "i don't want to be me" by type o negative (but there are more songs on that list) contrary to popular belief my favorite color is not red... it's blue (but red comes right after blue… very american of me... yeehaw) umm, i was born the 25th of august. I AM NOT AMERICAN. i once cut my chin when i was like 4 (?) and i had to get stitches and everything (i still have the scar to this day). i had an imaginary friend that i played with and talked to all the time. my parents say one day i stopped talking to him all together because he "died in a fire." we never saw him again. i like to play guitar and i also know how to play piano (but i kinda suck at both). i know *some* greek (which is something most people don't know about me) and also some russian; i wanna study it so i can speak it fluently someday. i have a dog, his name is kurt. he's a corgi and he is the cutest little thing on this earth (he is one year old). i've never touched snow before. i have black curly hair (and sometimes I feel like shaving my head). i like to paint my nails; usually dark red/black/dark purple/dark blue and ummm, i don't have any piercings or tattoos because my parents are against them, but once i leave i will probably get 1034 (because i like them... also to spite them.... but that's off record) the dream is to become a filmmaker or have my own rock band that travels the world (its stupid but let a girl dream) i like guns, and that's it. NOW LEAVE!!!!!!!!!

#sid(speakz)!

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fearsome-series · 2 years ago

Text

BOOK ONE

The creature and the wolfman were fighting.

The creature was an old friend to Laura - a companion when she was bored and in a car going through some place in the middle of nowhere with poor reception; sometimes a black dog, sometimes a blue fleshy dog-lizard thing, always fast, always a good distraction from the tree, tree, field, farm, cow, cow, field, tree, cow cycle of rural travel. Or at least he was; her mind’s eye was a bit too crowded now. A bit too concerned about the world and everything to fall for the old trick of rotating a monster in her mind.

The wolfman was new and snarling, paw raised, claws out, frozen in wood - a sculpture in someone’s front yard. The paw looked less like a threat and more like he was waving. Laura stared into its dark wooden eyes for a moment, as the imaginary car-running-creature that once kept her mind so occupied faded out into fuzz. When her parents started driving again, she waved back.

-------------------------------------------------

FEARSOME

#1: The Beast

Chapter One

She woke up when they got to the house - two stories, painted a so-very-respectable white, with a metal shed off in the backyard, towards the treeline - and somehow her feet took her up the front steps and through the clean kitchen and up the steps to her room, but she didn’t have any part in that, near as she could tell. Next she knew, she was upstairs.

Laura paced around her room for the weekend, the life drained from her bones. The hours of travel felt like years, felt like a whole lifetime passing by and whittling her away to just a skeleton and then, at last, skeleton dust. Bone dust. She sighed. This place sucked. It was too nice. No one lived here, but that no one wanted too hard for it to feel like someone lived there, you know? Laura looked out the little window, like a zoo animal looking out between the bars; but instead of seeing goofy faces goggling back at her, she saw all the sights of a rental home in the country: trees, grass, some tiny bird. Excitement. She flopped her messenger bag onto the bed and walked downstairs.

Her father, Chris, stood by the fridge, his face scrunched up as he considered the shelves inside, his thin mustache jumping to attention.

“Where’s mom?” Laura asked.

“In town,” Chris said.

“Which town?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “One of the good ones. You hungry?”

“Kinda.”

“Hi hungry, I’m...hungry too.” He waved at the empty fridge. “Ad said they’d leave it stocked for us. But it’s empty. Bit dirty, too. Heather’s getting a pizza and a few groceries.”

“So we’re, uh, swimming tomorrow, right?”

“We’re going to the lake, but we don’t have to swim if you don’t want to.”

“I know how to swim, dad.” She was nervous, largely on account of being trans at a beach out of the city, and…no, mainly on that account.

“I know you know, but I don’t know if you don’t want to.”

“Uh…”

“We aren’t gonna make you swim.”

“Thanks, but I’m going to try. ‘cause why not try?”

“Laur, you don’t have to try things just to try things. There’s lots of things you shouldn’t try.”

“Yeah, but. Life is short and all that.”

“Laur, you’re fifteen.”

“So I should try things when I’m young and dumb enough to do them.”

“Laur, if all your friends were going to do a daring daredevil jump over the Grand Canyon, would you do it?”

“Yeah? That sounds really cool.”

“It does, yeah. But you don’t have to try things that won’t make your friends think you’re fun and cool.”

“But I should do things that make them think I’m fun and cool.”

“Depends on the thing.”

“Pretending to like bands.”

“Never.”

“Big complicated heists at, like, a Vegas casino.”

“Not ‘til after college.”

“Swimming.”

“Only if you want to.”

“And I…and I think I want to. I want to. I want to go swimming tomorrow,” Laura said.

-------------------------------------------------

Dinner was a stuffed deep dish pizza from somewhere called Rosati’s; veggie, as always (though when it came to pizzas without meat, her favorite was the mac-and-cheese pizza at this one place back home) – Laura picked off some of the green peppers before biting in.

“...so we’ll leave for the beach around 10 tomorrow,” her mom, Heather, said.

“Last weekend of the season,” dad added.

Heather carefully wiped off her greasy hands on a napkin. “Laura, was there anything you wanted to do this weekend?”

She dropped a chunk of pepper. “I...oh. Uh, I don’t really know what’s around here. We could like, go out in the woods or something.”

“I’m not sure we can go back there,” mom said. “But we could go hiking at Big Foot Beach.”

“Yeah. Better than the woods anyway,” dad added.

“You want me to get back to nature, though,” Laura said.

“Nature can be pretty ugly, y’know. Lots of ticks.”

“How do you know there’s not ticks in here? And mosquitoes and, like, spiders.”

“Spiders are good, Laur. They eat all the ticks.”

“Oh, I just remembered, on Sunday we were going to Big Foot Beach, weren’t we?” Mom said.

“Think so.”

“Tomorrow afternoon we have that boat tour, and we’ll have dinner somewhere local…”

“Weren’t we going to that place by the lake? Popeye’s?”

“That was for lunch.”

“The…chicken store?” Laura asked.

“No, they have their own Popeye’s. It’s by the lake.”

“And they don’t have chicken.”

“No. Though now that I think about it, are they vegetarian? Looked like a bunch of fish.”

“We can eat fish, we’re on vacation,” mom said.

“No vacation for the fish.”

“Fish aren’t…”

“Animals?”

“They’re…”

“...down there in the water and when we bring them up into the sun they don’t know what’s going on. They don’t know who’s plucking them out of the world. A chicken at least stares their murderer in the eye first.”

Mom laughed. “How big is this chicken?”

“Yeah, cool,” Laura tore off a piece of her pizza and tossed it in her mouth. In her pocket, her phone buzzed. “Uh...I have to run to the bathroom, be right back.”

She hurried up there. Closed the door. Checked what her friend said…

PUZZLE KEY CHALLENGE: DOUBLE GEM HOUR STARTS NOW!

She sighed. Went back downstairs.

In the living room, their dog, Laika, a Newfoundland, was looking out the window, having taken over the sofa here like she always did at home. “What are you looking at?” The dog looked back at her. Tilted her head. “I don’t speak dog. I don’t know what look and tilt means.” She crawled onto the sofa. Looked out the window. Nothing, but -

Laika barked. Right by her right ear. “Laika!” She jumped off, ducked into the dining room. “Hey, Laika seems kinda…” Kinda...kinda...kinda…

“Restless?” Her dad suggested.

“Yeah! I was thinking I could take her outside.”

“Okay, but be back in before it gets dark. And don’t go into the trees.”

“What if she really wants to go into the trees and she’s too strong for me and she takes me along with her? Into the trees?”

“Well, just try not to let the trees claim you, y’know? Put in a good effort.”

“Thanks,” she said, rushing to grab Laika’s leash and step outside.

It was quiet. Laura normally walked Laika in the city, so walking her when there was nothing around was...weird. It was weird. Laika tugged towards the backyard, and Laura spun around and followed her. Back there, there was only a shed (locked with a padlock), grass, and...the trees. It was sunset, and the shed was bathed in the evening rays of orange, the last little fragment of the day before the coming of night.

“Don’t take me beyond the trees. Something’s gonna happen if I go beyond the trees.”

Laika sat down in the grass. Fixed her gaze on the treeline.

“Do you see anything? Anything? Do you see a tick? Do you see a tick crawling up my leg? Do you see a tick crawling up my leg and biting me and giving me Lyme Disease? Do you?”

Laika barked.

“Is there...a dog or something? Big dog, small dog?”

Bark, bark, BARK.

And Laika turned around and tugged back towards the house; Laura seized the leash with her other hand and held on tight as she raced back up the stairs. “Laika! You aren’t even going to pee?”

Laika scratched at the door; Laura freed up one hand and opened it. The dog raced back inside; Laura staggered back to the dining room, picked off some more green pepper chunks, and ate some more pizza.

-------------------------------------------------

Bottom left, bottom right, top left, top right. Dark.

Top right. Light.

Behind the shed. Watch. Watch the light.

-------------------------------------------------

Laura ran her hands down her face. Groaned a bit. Still couldn’t sleep. She grabbed her phone off the stack of things she’d left on the floor; she opened her texts. Considered sending a message to Manuel (last message 5:41 PM, Friday) or Summer (last message 7:22 PM, Thursday). Checked the time. 1:04 AM. Yikes. Then she saw the battery. 12%. Forgot to charge it again. Before she forgot, again, she quickly put it on the charger on the one free outlet across the room

She sighed. Rifled through the closet. There were some magazines stacked on a box. Vogue, The Atlantic, The Economist. Boring bullshit. Buried underneath them all, she found a magazine called Fangoria with a vampire lady on the front. BARBARA CRAMPTON BRINGS JAKOB’S WIFE TO BLOODY LIFE.

She paged through it. Past photos of a cyclopean alien with exposed brains and a vampire woman with two long front fangs and a bloody face. And…

She set the magazine down. She’d left the blinds open. She’d left the blinds open and she left the window open. Okay, it was the second floor, who cares? But for one second, she thought she heard...something. Something like...a dog. A growl. Laika?

She got up. Looked out the window.

Nothing but some trees.

Alright, stop scaring yourself and get to sleep, she thought. She tossed aside the magazine, and thirty seconds later, was lights out.

-------------------------------------------------

“You okay down there?”

“Yes, dad,” said Laura, not okay; it was a sunny late summer day, one of the last good days of the season dontcha know, and all around Laura people were going for a swim, going out on boats, playing in the sand. The beach wasn’t that big, and had trees on one side; at the far end was a large brown building with a reddish tile roof.

“We’ll be right back, Laur,” mom said, “stay right here, okay?”

“Okay? Okay. Yeah.”

Good for them, she thought, but she was stuck sitting on this little blanket on the sand and looking at everyone else having a good time around her. Once her parents were gone, she picked up her phone.

Navigated her contacts.

DAD

MANUEL

MOM

SUMMER

SUMMER’S GF

Are you on the beach yet? :)

SO BORED

So you are at the beach then

Did anything happen here

Anything

You know every dark secret of every town here

Are there any here

Well Dungeons & Dragons was invented there

That’s not a dark secret

It was if you were one of those people convinced the devil invented it in the 80s

But I mean a dark dark secret

A unsolved murder

Cultic rites

Idk people going missing

Gangsters used to go there in the 1920s!

Baby Face Nelson was seen there the day he died

Wow

He died here?

Oh no, he was seen there. He died later on in Illinois

So you’ve got nothing

Nope :( Sorry

Don’t be

What are YOU up to

Hanging out with Cameron

I actually haven’t heard from him in a few days.

With Emily

We don't hang out outside school and she is with Alice anyway

Is Alice that like

Country chick with the jacket

Who was weird to me

outside of queer club once

Why the hell do they hang out???

I don't get it either

I'm up to nothing! I am just inside today

It does seem nice out but I do not know if it’s the type of warm that feels uncomfortable

100% is

Stay inside

Save yourself!

Her parents still weren’t back. She looked around. Looked for anyone who was looking at her. They all would, wouldn’t they? Snooty people from the suburbs and wherever the hell else, they didn’t want her on the beach. She could almost see them - that lounging woman, shooting a glare up from her book, the two boys making a sand castle pointing, laughing…

She quickly texted Summer.

Do you ever go swimming

Yeah?

In public

Hell no

My parents took me to a beach 😭

Since it’s ‘the last day of the season’

“You can swim” YEAH AND NO

Did you tell em you won’t

No?

See that’s like

The first thing you do

Is tell them how you feel

Why do I have to TELL people things

Can’t they just figure it out

Piece together the vibes

They can’t like

Smell your damn emotions

You’ve gotta use your words

“Laura?”

Heather and Christian circled around a woman on a blanket reading a James Patterson book; Christian knelt down on the blanket and looked her over.

“You don’t wanna go out on the lake, huh?”

“...not really,” she said. “I don’t…I don’t feel comfortable swimming. Or, like, being around everyone, you know?”

“Alright, kid,” Chris said. “How about we go for a walk along the shore?”

They picked up the blanket and walked off.

-------------------------------------------------

Laura hadn’t been to the group before, not in freshman year, but she decided to check out the first one of this year because…why not? Manuel was trans, and so was Summer, and Summer’s girlfriend…Claire?...was gay, so maybe they’d go with her.

They did not, and Laura spent the group kinda just sitting there, not saying much, though a lot of people were there and not saying much. Some of the people in her school’s queer group had more problems, after all, like not being supported at home instead of just not being supported by society as a whole. Laura said her name, her pronouns, then kinda…looked at people, ‘til the group ended.

Outside of the LGBT group, in the hallway up front by the doors and first cafeteria, the one with the big windows looking out, and knowing her dad wouldn’t be by for a while, she picked out someone to shuffle up and say hi to: someone with short-cut green hair and a old, dark blue Air Force jacket covered in buttons, about which she knew, uh, that they were Steph, they/them.

“Hi…?” Laura said.

“Uh, hi,” Steph said, sliding their phone in their jacket’s pockets. “You’re…”

“Laura.”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Alice asked, walking down the stairs; she was tall and lanky, white with tanned skin and scuffed boots, a red jacket, light brown hair with neatly-trimmed bangs and a cross necklace bouncing around her neck.

“Why do you care?” Steph replied.

“You can’t be around them!” Alice pointed at Laura. “Stop thinking you can.”

“I can be around whoever I want.”

“Well, you can do what you like, but you have to know you can’t change what you are. Or…can’t change when the time will come!”

“What, like, the Rapture or something?” Laura laughed. “Hey, Alice, you should-”

“No! I mean - Steph, you know what I mean.”

“Gotta go, Lyra,” Steph said. “Maybe I’ll see you next time.”

“Yeah. It’s…it’s Laura…” Laura said, watching them leave. “Oh, and uh, how about you…how about you…” She couldn’t remember the comeback she thought up late. Nice.

-------------------------------------------------

Wind howled, tree branches raking the roof like shrill claws. Laura wasn’t listening too closely: for she was engaged in a higher task - finding a spot where she could use her phone. It’d been fine earlier, but right after she got back, the signal died.

Sitting on her chair, no. Standing on it, no. Bed, no. Desk, no. Sitting on the desk and leaning back over the perilous void?

One bar.

She frantically texted her friends.

SO BORED, WTF DO I DO

Manuel replied immediately.

What’s going on? Are you still at the beach? Is Laika being good??? Pet her for me!

Laura texted back. Sent. Couldn’t send. No service. Fine! She pounded the desk in rage, leaned back more. Waved her phone in search of even one -

Tumbled into the abyss. Oof. Her phone bounced off the floorboards next to her. She snatched it up cleanly...a second after it hit a second time and came to a halt. No damage. No bars, but no damage.

“You okay in there?” Her father called out from the doorway.

“No, I’m dead.” She kept lying in the space between the desk and chair.

“Ahuh. Doing a lot of breathing for a dead woman.”

“That can happen sometimes.” For lack of any other ideas, Laura just laid there a while.

“Well, at least you’re having fun. D’you want a book?”

“I guess.”

“I’d like to find a book too. I didn’t bring any and the guy who owns the place must’ve bought all the books for show.”

“They’re fake?”

“No, just boring. Unless you want to read a buncha car repair manuals and a…” He held up a thick tome. “...complete history of concrete.”

“No?”

“Ahuh.” Her dad walked back to the main room. As the door swung shut, she heard barks and radio static filtering from downstairs. Might as well join them, Laura thought, reluctantly coming to life.

-------------------------------------------------

A scratchy classical track ended, and then -

“Is it for your…?” Mom asked; dad shushed.

“This Sunday on All That We Know,” said the woman who announced the show dad produced, “we talk with…”

“Someone not sad?” Laura whispered.

“...an embedded reporter about war crimes in Ukraine. Also, a team who believed they had the cure for cancer - before it all came crashing down. This Sunday on All That We Know, from NPR and Wisconsin Public Radio.”

“Dad,” Laura asked. “Do you ever have any not-depressing news on your show?”

“Laur, there hasn’t been any not-depressing news since Clinton was President. You know that.”

“Yeah…but also…”

“You used to interview tech people a lot,” mom said.

“Yeah. Guys who had the solution to all the world’s problems.”

“Wasn’t the solution always cryptocurrency?”

“Nope, sometimes it was NFTs or the metaverse.”

Heather switched off the radio. Laura glanced around the home: Chris was focusing intently on a book with no jacket, Heather was just generally pacing, and Laika was being her usual lazy self on the floor.

Laura knelt by the dog and pet her head. “That’s from Manuel.”

Laika pressed on with her aimless flopping.

Laura sat crisscross on a table. Uncomfortable, but she knew she could text here; she shot one to Summer.

Bored.

KINDA DISTRACTED SORRY

WITH WHAT?

I’M UH PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

YOU PUT THE UH IN A TEXT

NO ONE DOES THAT

WHY ARE WE IN CAPS ANYWAY

I’M PLAYING ELDER RING

THE DAMN

SLEAZE TROLL SHOWED UP WHEN I CROSSED THE NETHER FJORD

OR WHATEVER TF

OKAY LATER BYE!!!

ELDEN

IT’S ELDEN

No reply.

Shit.

“How is there no service here? There was before we left.” Laura asked.

“Someone breathed on the tower funny,” Chris replied.

“Maybe it’s a good thing,” Heather said. “For us to disconnect, get away from the screens. Don’t you think so?”

Laura noticed her dad’s book. “You found a book.”

“Yep, it’s great, this page I’ve been on for the last five minutes is really interesting.”

Heather looked at its nameless cover. “What’s it about?”

Chris looked up from his book and scowled. “...I don’t remember.”

Laika barked. Laura jumped.

“Think she’s bored?” Chris asked no one.

“Can I take her for a walk?” Laura asked.

“I heard there’s going to be a storm in an hour.” Heather said.

“What dog walk takes an hour? Laika doesn’t even chase squirrels. Or bears, or wolves.”

“Don’t have to worry about bears or wolves down here,” Christian said.

“If you want to walk her, alright, but stay close,” Heather answered.

“Where would we go? We’ll be fine, mom.”

-------------------------------------------------

“Do you think I could take a bear?”

Laika barked.

“You just have to make yourself look big, right? ...you’re probably bigger than I am. God.”

Laika growled gently.

“I should’ve told mom and dad I wasn’t up for swimming. Like, before they booked a lake house. …twenty minutes from the lake. But I don’t want to do nothing ‘cause I’m afraid of doing it because of being trans, y’know? …no you don’t, you’re a dog. You don’t have genders. Or do you have dog gender? What are those -”

Laika tugged forcefully on the leash.

Laura finally broke from her rambling and realized that she was surrounded by trees; she looked over her shoulder and could see the home well obscured by branches.

“Laikaaaa! Laika! Stop dragging me into the woods. Stop dragging me into the woods! I know I wanted to go, but now I don’t want to go!”

Laika stared at Laura, tilted her head, and yanked Laura forward again, barking.

“Keep me away from bears, okay? Wait, there are no bears.Don’t go near people. Def people.”

Laika led Laura through a thick bramble of branches - Laika stepping confidently, Laura contorting her way through. The trees seemed too thick; like, on the ride over it was mostly farmland and fields, not these dense forests. It confused Laura, but she only became more confused when they rounded past a big, old, gnarled tree and its thick skeleton of roots into a clearing.

In it was a house - like one of those old Victorian things she’d seen on a school trip to the Mississippi, back from when three stories was a mansion. The fence had broken into rotten chunks of wood, and the path was overgrown with weeds and grass, with only an occasional fragment of stone showing from between the green.

“Uh, I said keep me away from people.”

Laura spun around and tugged on Laika’s leash, but the dog wouldn’t budge, and Laura gave up and let herself be walked right into the house.

The entry area and living room were long stripped of anything useful or decorative, and now it was just full of peeled wallpaper and beer cans Laika pushed through like she was cutting through ice. Graffiti and dust, cans and cigarette stubs. The remains of parties past -

She tripped. Laura glanced down. A crusty boom box, with a cassette whose faded label said TOM’S MIXTAPE 1 - 14 - ‘89. The remains of parties long past.

“Laika, why are you trying to give me tet...tetno...tinnitus?”

She stepped over a discarded bag and to a half-open door. A door with slash marks. A door with slash marks cutting all the way through. Laika nosed it open.

“Laika!” Laura tugged on her leash again. “Laika, back! Now!”

The door swung open.

“What?”

-------------------------------------------------

An altar stood before a stone pillar. Carved faces: a woman, a man with the sun behind his head, a man with the moon, and a man whose face was split in four. She looked at the altar: spent candles and dead purple flowers, and a scroll. Laura picked it up - you’re gonna get diseases, she cursed to herself - and while she didn’t know much about any language but English, she knew enough to know this was no language she’d ever seen.

Laura threw it down. Tugged on Laika’s leash with all the strength she could manage. “Out! Out!” She pushed her feet towards the door. “Out!”

Laika barked, and Laura heard a growl in the house outside. Now Laika pushed, pushed with more strength than she could ever imagine possessing, pushed at the edge of escape, and Laura pulled, tried to pull the enormous dog away, tried to -

Laika ran off into the party room, barking. Something growled back. Laura didn’t know what to do. She sprinted out of the room, slammed the door behind her. A growl. Footsteps. Laura’s own feet raced away from the noise - down the hall to a kitchen, with shattered plates and flies buzzing over unknown trash, and found a window. Tried to open it, footsteps in the hall, felt it lift off the frame, pushed it up, a blast of cool air, she jumped, crawled through, into -

She hit the ground. Jumped to her feet. Ran into the woods until she couldn’t see the house anymore. It was night and Laika was gone. It was dark and Laura was lost and she was all alone.

Laura slowed down, carefully stepped over roots and fallen branches, using her phone to illuminate the way. All it was good for out here. The only other light was what light of the moon shone through the canopy of dark branches.The canopy that was way too thick.

She listened for Laika, but did not call for her. Not this far out, not alone. She heard barks sometimes, but from different angles. Other than that? Dead quiet. No bugs, no snapping twigs, just…quiet.

Laura caught her breath against an old white ash. Huff, huff, huff. She slunk down to the dirt. Oh, God, she thought. I’m lost. I’m actually lost.

She picked up her phone again, and it's pale beam of light swept over a hole in the dirt. Laura swung it back. Under the tree was a paw print. Not a bear, or a wolf’s. Bigger. Laura placed her hand in the depression - it barely filled half of it. Four clawed toes, long, but oddly familiar.

-------------------------------------------------

Through the trees, Laura could now see distant lights: cars and trucks from some nearby highway. Laura wanted to run for it. Run for the road and for anyone and call out for help.

Buzz.

Her phone! Someone was calling her! She pulled it up. Mom.

“Laura, where are you!?”

“Mom! I-”

Low battery. Disconnected. Before it died, she saw her missed calls: mom, dad, unknown?

“Shit. Shit. Shit…” Black. Everything dark but the moon and a flurry of far-away vehicles. She stomped the earth. “Shit!”

Grrrrrurrrrr. A low growl. The same low growl. She knew a bear - were there bears? - is more afraid of you than you are of them. Not possible, she thought, but maybe it’ll get bored.

Stay. Still. Don’t move. Don’t shake. Don’t run. Still, still, stillllll -

Nothing.

She ran. Ran for the lights between the trees. Came to a wide open farmer’s field. Pushed her way through rows of swaying corn stalks.

Soon she could make out a shape ahead of her, between the stalks. A man’s shape. She wanted to run over and say ‘help me’. She wanted to hide behind a tree, wanted to run away, to scream, to do nothing. A man alone in the middle of nowhere was scarier than any bear. She weighed her fear, her exhaustion.

Exhaustion won. She followed the man.

“I’m lost, uh, hey, can you -”

The man turned around, revealing a face. A horrible, horrible face, a face that seemed wrong. Pointed, human, too-human and inhuman and crisscrossed with scars and dark grey hairs, staring with narrow yellow eyes, its jaw opened, teeth, sharp teeth shining in the moonlight -

Grrrrurrrrr!

“What the hell!?” Laura leapt back, turned, started to run.

She charged through the corn, stumbled over clumps of dirt, was cut by leaves. Growls became a roar, and forceful swipes snapped stalks into pieces. Closer and closer, louder and louder -

Something powerful tried to grab her leg. She slipped free, but fell forward. Hit the ground hard. Pain cascaded through her side. Her legs screamed, refused to lift again, streaked with red.

No one will even know, she thought. They’ll take weeks to find her. Months, years, never. Mom and dad and Manuel and Summer will never know.

Laura closed her eyes tight. No more steps, no snapping stalks, no growls. But she knew it was over her. Thinking. The night was still, drained of all life. It was worse than the noise.

A bark. The creature howled back into the darkness, and Laura felt sharp teeth sink into her shoulder, and a deeper darkness descended.

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waves-of-heat · 1 year ago

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Sometimes you meet the perfect strangers. You don’t meet them here, tough. You don’t meet then where you currently are, cause nobody’s really a stranger there. Those are the people that are part of your everyday life. Your commute to work, your grocery shopping. No. You don’t know them. That’s one thing. But you might cross them on a daily.

The perfect stranger though, is someone you have never seen before. Someone you meet far away from where you’re settled. On your trip abroad, vacation, journey or while hunting for a new life. And that’s what’s so perfect about them.

I’ve met my perfect stranger on vacation too. From the first day an imaginary force had dragged him to me, which I kind of ignored. Not on purpose, I just didn’t see it. Because like, when you’re on vacation, in the begginning, your mind still goes back to where you left off at home. work. responsibilities. stress. guilt of not knowing to shut your head off and then guilt of shutting your head of once you finally manage, cause you feel like you shouldn’t. and this goes on in circles for some time, right? Took a couple of days before the sun, sea breeze and margaritas lifted the smog of off my brain and I could see a world around me a bit clearer.

That’s when I noticed. And I liked that. I liked that there was something. I just don’t really know what that was. You see, I have a boyfriend of 6 years who I love more then my life. So it wasn’t love. Attraction? Maybe, but not like major movie or rock band crushes I used to have troughout my life.

It was something different. Something about him that made me stop for a while and think. And I never really think about other guys. I though about how he’s effortles in making fun of me. How good of a dancer he is. How other girls are going crazy for him and he stays so humble. How he’s stopping by at my sunbed anyways. I wanted him as a friend. And I wanted to tell him he deserves the world because that’s how it felt to me.

See, the irony is I’ve only known him for a few short sunny days. I don’t know why I felt like this, I don’t really make friends easily. I don’t even really like people that much, or getting to know them. And saying I got to know him is actually far beyond, as I didn’t. But I felt like I really wanted. And I felt like I wanted to keep in touch.

This perfect stranger has brought out something within me and I don’t think it was coincidence. I was an absolute dead-man walking being so frustraded about my job, stressing about life, being scared of future, of people judging me.

I think he doesn’t know. But he lit a little light in me by how spontaneous his life was, which gave me hope. I suddenly got my spark back, kind of, just by watching him. I felt like I was searching for his presence and his presence fueled me. He liked me. The guy everyone liked, liked me. I must be pretty cool then, right?

He wanted to spend time with me even though I didn’t party, I didn’t dance around him like other girls did. And he’s here. I must be kinda intersting then, maybe not as boring as I tought at least.

He looked at me in a way. In a way I could never return. But hey, I must be kind of special then.

This perfect stranger has reminded me of those things. The things that my boyfriend showed me long time ago. The things he has been reminding me of ever since. But it just became so rutinious I kinda stopped taking it seriously. Even though they weren’t only words, they were actions too. I was just ungrateful. I became resistant to it. It baceme a habit, not something I took to my heart anymore.

Did I need this perfect stranger to remind me? To show me that even thousands miles away from home someone who barely knows me and can’t even speak fluently to me can think that I am special?

I thought the same thing about him. In a bit different way tho. But I did. And I hope I reminded him of the what he may forgot he is just as much as he reminded me.

This is not a love story, no no! Not at all. I found my love a long time ago. This is a story about people who you meet, and they touch you. And you might not even know why, but they leave a permanent mark on you. And you feel like you’re connected even tough they’re strangers. And that’s what’s so perfect about them.

#words words words #writers and poets #beautiful words #writing #perfect strangers #writer on tumblr #relationship #random toughts #short story #self love #words

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skateyoulater · 2 years ago

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thank you @kinnbig for tagging me I don’t usually do these but tonight LFG

❥ name: rae/rachel

❥ sign: aries

❥ height: 5'6

❥ time: 19:31

❥ birthday: 1st of April///April Fools Day (No I am not kidding ksasksjks)

❥ fav band/artist: honestly these days I don’t have a fav, I was always big into My Chemical Romance and All Time Low back in the day but now I just listen to whatever takes my fancy! I’m big on Stray Kids at the moment but sixth months ago I’d have told you a totally different answer!

❥ last movie: Semantic Error the movie!

❥ last show: I’m currently in the middle of watching Kingdom: Legendary War! But I’m also watching half a dozen currently airing BLs including Never Let Me Go, My School President, and Between Us.

❥ when I created this blog: bestie I don’t know. I’ve existed on Tumblr in one form or another since about 2012 lmao

❥ what I post: whatever garbage happens to be in my brain that day. Usually a wide variety of BL and GL content, but also shitposts and occasionally bands/kpop. It’s a pick and mix bag!

❥ other blogs?: yes. no you’re not having them.

❥ do I get asks?: on the odd occasion. If I’m being honest, I’m terrible at checking my inbox because I always am on tumblr mobile, so I could have dozens of messages that I’ve just,,,, not seen sksjksj

❥ followers: 1129 :) though most of the poor bastards are from my pre-BL days meaning they’ve been subjected to a huge shock when I came back from my thumblr hiatus (which lasted about 4 years).

❥ average hours of sleep: I usually get about 7, but I can and will sleep 10 if I’m allowed to.

❥ instruments: Clarinet when I was younger, guitar currently :)

❥ what I'm wearing: baggy shorts, band tshirt, and comfy socks. It’s a lazy kinda evening ya’ll.

❥ dream trip: I would love to pack my shit away for a year and just explore wherever I wanted to go without any limits. Spent a week in one place, then decide on the fly where to go next. No planning involved, just vibes!

❥ fav songs right now: My currently spotify on repeat is a mess! but uhhhhhhhhh

닐리리맘보 - Block B

Hero - Monsta X

Dandelions - Ruth B

Maniac - Stray Kids

Night Changes - One Direction

Red Lights - Stray Kids

Say My Name - Ateez

Poison - PinkFantasy

Silly Boy - Lynks

I - Taeyon

Imaginary Friends - Voila ft Hey Violet

This is Halloween (Cover) - Izzy Reign

Love Me Like You Do (cover) - Living in Fiction

U Love It - Sophie Powers ft $atori Zoom

sorry if you’ve been tagged before but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i forgor @stillqueerstillhere @hello-n-goodbye @alt-drama @letsabandonthisworld @first-kanaphan @neppu @sunflower-lychee @ieroween1031 @jimins-crooked-tooth

#tag game #tag #have fun besties!

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riddikulus-writings · 4 months ago

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Distracted

Chapter 5

Heist prep.

“Y’know,” she smacked her lips and peered at him sideways, continuing to scroll through Tumblr on her phone with the hand that wasn’t tracing his tattoos, “We should take some time off.”

“We don’t… Nyx, we don’t get time off,” he chuckled.

The rain pattering against the window got harder. Faster. Angrier, “Tell that to Waller when she’d let me have two weeks off last year. We should run off, anyway. You need a break from the city life. Come back home with me, yeah? Everyone’s absolutely dyin’ to meet you.”

“Everyone?” Rick’s eyebrows shot up, “Gossippin’ about me, are we?”

“Well, all four of my parents wanna meet you,” she sat more upright, waving her phone as she spoke, “Sisters, brothers. My whopping four friends. Everyone’s dying to meet The Rick Flag.”

Four parents? Must be divorced and remarried. The dual-vibration of her phone in her hand signaled a group-chat message and it derailed Rick’s original thought, “You ain’t makin’ any sense, honey. What’re you tellin’ people?”

He leered over her shoulder, the lights flickering above their heads, as she opened the group chat. Rick caught a glimpse of the words creampied and breeding before she yanked her phone from his eyes – at the same time he jerked away, “I’m talkin’ to my friend, David. Johnny’s out of office.”

“Friend?” Rick was skeptical, “You sure about that? Talkin’ about sex like that.”

“Oh, we always talk like that,” she laughed, bringing her phone back, “I’m just complaining about how I don’t quite like the idea of having kids, but my two biggest kinks are–”

Rick clasped his hand over her mouth, “I don’t want to know, Eris. Stop talking.”

She licked his hand and started right back up talking once his hand was scrubbing her spit on his pants, “But it’s unfair and ironic because the idea of kids isn’t really appealing to me. Y’know?”

He nodded, pretending to be listening when in reality he was trying to shift around to get the noticeable swelling down from the crotch of his sweats. He heaved a sigh, thankful the lights flickered out, “Power’s out.”

“Perfect for the Three S’s; sacrifices, snacks and se–”

“Nyx–”

“Oh, lighten up,” Nyx slapped him a few times on the shoulder, “If we can’t joke about sex, what kinda friendship would it be, huh? A fuckin’ lame one.”

“Friends, huh?”

A moment, heavy with silence, save for the thunder shaking the window panes. Friends? Something more? They spend a lot of time together, but Rick never really thought to–

“For life,” she agreed, breaking his thought, “I’ll follow you wherever you go. To your deepest low.” she was quoting, now, that dumb Imaginary Dragons [or whatever that band was] song she had on repeat some days, “Always be around, wherever life takes you– But anyways, yeah, no, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not, Flag. As long as you’ll let me.”

He slung his arm over her shoulder, snugging her to his side, “Tell me more about these people who think I’m the greatest man alive.”

“They only think that because you’ve been putting up with me, in the flesh, for as long as you have been.”

“Have I ever told you you look good in yellow?”

He looked down at the too-tight, bright yellow t-shirt that had been offered to him, the greens of the forest suddenly upsetting compared to the colorless memory he’d just sunk into, “Uh, thanks?”

“‘s my favourite colour, remember?” Nyx sent him a smile over her shoulder, “I like it. It suits you. Makes your dirty, unwashed, frizzy jungle hair really gleam.”

This is going to be a long walk.

A long walk it was, too. By the time they hit the outskirt of town, it was pitch-fuckin’ black out. For the last hour or so, Rick was relying solely on following Nyx’s silhouette, since Soria told them that flashlights would draw too much attention.

Like the walking shark isn’t going to do that, anyway.

Couple shots into the dimly lit street, a snack for the aforementioned shark, and Bloodsport was beating on the bloodied window of a graffiti’d mini bus. Soria tugged Rick aside as the others started on… whatever they were doing [he didn’t feel like asking.], “Milton will drive you through town and to La Gatita Amable. There are clothes in the boxes for all of you so you can blend in. That said, the walking tiburon is gonna have to stay out of sight, sorry.”

Rick shrugged, “I know. We’ll park him in the vehicle, he’ll be fine.”

Nyx wandered up and butted in between them, “Hey, Nanaue is trying to fake-mustache his way into the heart of the mission. As Mr. I’m In Charge, y’wanna kinda… tell him that won’t work…?”

“Fake mustache ain’t gonna cut it mate,” Rick overheard Dubois not-so-kindly explaining, already.

“DuBois’ got it under control,” Rick told her, patting her shoulder and ushering her on her way. He turned back to Soria, “There’s going to be a lot of soldiers watching Jotunheim. If they discover us there–”

“Let’s pray they do not,” she interrupted, “Or you will all be dead.”

We’ll probably all be dead, anyway, “They won’t.”

“If they do, that’ll leave the palace vulnerable. Luna and the other generals will be left without protection,” Nyx was back over, but this time in an actual disguise – just an outfit change and a different hairstyle, but still, “Wouldn’t that… somehow work to our advantage?”

Rick gave a look to Soria that [hopefully] conveyed we got this, go before turning to fully face Nyx, “Maybe,” he put a hand on her lower back and guided her towards the bus where everyone else was finally boarding, “But, as previously mentioned, Eris, we’d all be dead. Don’t know about you, but I’d like to live to see tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is overrated,” Rick let Nyx guide him to the back seat of the vehicle, “Live for today and think about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here.”

He fell to the seat beside her, “Worst motto I’ve ever heard, but I guess a bad motto is still a motto to live by.”

“What’s a motto?”

Rick snorted and bumped his shoulder to hers, “I don’t know, what’s a motto with you?”

“What’s a motto is that I decided to stay on a team with your stupid ass.” Nyx giggled as she tucked herself into his side like she’d done countless times before, “I kid, I kid. You’re a damn good leader and this is a decent enough team. We’ll get our shit done –” she was interrupted by a yawn, “-- and we’ll get you to your tomorrow.”

A/N: Let the record show that I actually do have a group chat with my two friends, Johnny and David, and the words creampied and breeding kink have appeared in that chat on more than one occasion, much to Johnny's dismay. David and I are as vulgar as sailors, Johnald is not. No, my husband doesn't care that I talk about weird shit like that with my friends. David comes over and hangs out a lot and sometimes the husband just disappears from the yard completely. I asked him once and he just shrugged, "I trust you know what you're doing with your friends." good man, that boy is. David's also so respectful that he refused to smack a mosquito that was on my while I was elbow deep in dishes.

#Rick flag x OC #rick flag x original female character #rick flag #colonel rick flag #suicide squad #the suicide squad #DC comics

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