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writingabouteverything · 3 years ago

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moon girl

a/n tumblr keeps deleting this bc idk how to make social media images

summary: reader kinda blew up over night for being a writer (some journalism, but i picture her getting her start on booktok if you know what that is lmao, but dont worry if you dont i dont get that specific) and is starting to get into acting, but she’s mainly known for writing so when ppl see her with harry theyre like NEW MUSIC but then they interact on social media (which is so rare for harry) everyone is ohh thats sus, and then there’s a tiny, sorta really basic twist so maybe part 2??? idk this was fun to make and i just wanted to try it out lol

Yourinstagram

Liked by bestfriend, taylorswift, and 2113 others

yourinstagram: the idea you had of me...

view 97 comments

booksandbookboys: SHE SAID SHE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO GO WRITE IN THE WOODS, IS THE SEQUEL COMING

yniloveyou: so pretty!!

bestfriend: wish u were here so we could take basic christian girl autumn pictures together :((

yourinstagram: coming home soon!! we’ll have a pumpkin spice day:)

haylor_hit_and_run: TAYLOR LIKED!! KNEW SHE HAD GOOD TASTE

yourinstagram: FREAKING OUT RN!!

haylor_hit_and_run: OMG HI! ITS U

13th.taylor.stan: RIGHT!

harry.updatings

Liked by harries.for.pleasing, bakerry,supremacy, my_one.d_era, and 22,349 others

Harry,updatings: harry spotted in LA today!

view 547 comments

harries_finsta: HS3 DO BE COMING SOON HUH

nouis_is_mine: HE LOOKS SO TALL HERE

harry.bake.me.bread: RIGHT BUT SOMEONES IN THE BACK PLS I WANT TO KNOW

youristagram story:

pls tell me how i wrote more waiting at luggage claim than on the plane lol

updating.harries

liked by kiwisupremacy, imnotovermedicine, and 9,122 others

updating.harries: harry leaving Perch tonight in LA!!

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harrys.favorite.tattoo: HOW DOES HE LOOK GOOD SO CASUALLY THO

isitafamilyshow: my friend works at this restaurant!! she said he came in with a group of like three other people, the only one who was completely unfamiliar was this one girl

erosera: WAIT WHAT-

mcustansforharry: PROBABLY JUST LIKE A SONGWRITING THING RIGHT

yourinstagram

liked by bookshelfaddict, harrystyles, and 9,042 others

yourinstagram: not a lot going on at the moment except my coffee order

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HSLOT_outfits: not harry liking this...

jakegroomerhallhateclub: okay but “not a lot going on at the moment” and the taylor like on her last post?? she’s sick for this

cameforharrystayedformitch: HARRY LIKING?! ON INSTAGRAM

yn_verse: not me zooming in to try to read her notebook....

bettyslovestory: ME TOO LMAO,, GIRLY IS EITHER GIVING US A SEQUEL OR HELPING TURN A VAULT SONG INTO A FT HARRY

yourinstagram:

liked by taylornation, harrystyles, and 322,467 others

yourinstagram: All Too Well the short film premieres tomorrow at 7PM eastern!! I can’t describe how getting to work on this project and getting to add something to a song that’s made me want to cry and call out a non-existent since I was like 12. Taylor, I couldn’t have asked for a better director, thank you so much taking a chance on me and trusting me with this project. Love you!!

view 3,103 comments

yn.stan.first: SHES BEEN SO QUIET ABOUT THIS

augustslippedaway: NOT HER AN DYLAN O’BRIEN BASICALLY HAVING THE SAME AGE GAP AS TAYLOR AND JAKE GYNECOLOGIST

taygetsacookie: BLONDIE MADE IT SO OBVIOUS, HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE

harrystyles: does this mean you have time to text me back now

harrynotstyles: EXCUSE ME

belovedhxrry: HES SO PETTY LMAO

yourinstagram: youve been on delivered for not even ten minutes 😭 pls put the narcissist away

harrystyles: rude

harrystyles: text me

cowboyharry: SO HE CAN BE ACTIVE WHEN THE NARCISSIST IS TRIGGERED HUH

starryeyed,yn: OK BUT IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY SHE WAS ANNOUNCING THE START OF HER ACTING CAREER AND HER SUPPORTING ROLE IN A HALLMARK MOVIE AND NOW SHE’S WORKING WITH DYLAN AND TAYLOR IM SO PROUD

yourinstagram: this is so sweet :))) your support means the world to me

starryeyed.yn: AH YOU REPLIED, LOVE YOU

updating,harries

liked by starryharry, blessed.tpwk, and 8,217 others

updating,harries: harry seen leaving the blues cafe in NY today

view 119 comments

yn.darlings: SHUT UP!! THATS YN’S FAVORITE NY SPOT AND SHE’S iN NEW YORK RN FOR THE ATW SHORT FILM PREMIERE

harrythecowgirl: A SONG CO-WRITTEN BY MISS YN I WANT IT!!

boa.harry: i guess she finally texted him back 😭

sunflower.vol: i love how we all collectively decided that yn was there LMAO

yn.updates

liked by kiwi.my.onlyangel, bookedup_13, and 711 others

yn.updates; yn via her best friend’s snapchat story

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yn.mylove: recording studio, recording studio, recording studio, record--

harrythreads: ohh im already crying over the lyrics

_harrysogolden: her best friend’s story?? so what im hearing is he’s hanging out with them-

updating.harries

liked by harryfever, chxrry_tpwk, and 7,790 others

updating,harries: harry seen by a fan at a night club in New York City!

view 697 comments

tpwkcoucou: this looks like the same place where yn’s birthday party is being had...

yn.she.writes: the red lighting and stuff,, i really think he’s at her party

yourinstagram

liked by taylornation, harrystyles, and 42,298 others

yourinstagram: how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22?

i had to use that lyric bc im obsessed with it, but all of the amazing love and support ive been receiving is making me feel like i must know something. Thank you for all the birthday love, here’s to feeling 22<3

view 2,113 comments

taylornation: yn’s birthday (taylor’s version)

yourinstagram: 🧣🧣🧣

zendaya: the birthday girl is glowing!! youre radiant inside and out

yourinstagram: says one of the kindest people ive ever met:)) love u, Z!

harrystyles: 🥂 🌗

bakingwithharry: the moon emoji!! i need answers

yourinstagram: 🍾 🌗

bestfriend: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! SO HAPPY I GOT TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU

yourinstagram: love you to the moon and back but im never letting you throw another party again 😭

outterspace.yn: does this mean she’s hungover 😂

tchalamet: u have no idea

yourinstagram: dont expose me

yn.mydarling: HUH- TIMMY’S HERE

updating,harries

liked by hs.daily, rockandrollnarry, and 13,989 others

updating,harries: this was posted to harry’s instagram story with the caption ‘even though she’s a bully, i’m wishing the happiest birthday to moon girl herself. Wouldn’t spend hours writing at an airport baggage claim with anyone else’. It was deleted after two minutes.

view 1.456 comments

harry.my.soul: ‘moon girl herself’ im crying shaking and throwing up rn

starsforyn: so harry has a friends only instagram story, where he posts about yn, I CANT DO THIS TODAY

glossy.harry: YALL REMEMBER WHEN SHE SAID THAT SHE WROTE MORE AT BAGGAGE CLAIM THAN SHE DID ON HER FLIGHT TO LA, YOU DONT THINK-

sapphic.harries: OH I THINK

supremacyforhaylor: THE MOON EMOJIS MAKE SENSE NOW

harrysboafeathers: this doesnt mean theyre dating they could just be friends/working together bc yn’s a writer first

jxsticeformedxcne: who said they were dating

teenvogue

liked by timmy.statistics, whathappensinvegasmovie, and 18,987 others

teenvogue: #whathappensinvegas may stay in vegas, but what happens in NYC definitely doesn’t. Timothee Chalamet was seen with his newest costar, yn ln, and from the looks of these pics, we’re wondering if more than an onscreen romance is in their future

view 213 comments

ynismynumberone: SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A MOVIE

mylove,yn: she’s swifting us rn istg

pleasing_harry222: i just know harry is listening to ATW ten minute version rn

gucciforharry: PLEASE

moongirlherself: guys!! just bc yn is seen with a guy doesnt mean she’s dating them! we dont know anything about her relationship with harry or timothee

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #hs #hslot #harry styles love on tour #harry styles imagine #fake social media #fake social media x reader #harry x reader #harry x famous! reader #harry styles social media imagine

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argumentl · 4 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 15 - Bill to extend prosecutor's mandatory retirement age is 'inviting the deterioration of public order'.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, lets try again this week.

J, T: Yes, lets.

K: Well...

Kami: Lets

K: Oh? He's here all of a sudden.

J: Right from the start all of a sudden. He's at the forefront today.

Kami: No, I just thought I'd show that Im here.

J: Oh, I see.

K: You're here, right.

J: Like, 'Im here, Im here'

Kami: Yes, just informing you of my presence.

K: Well, this week lets start with you please, Joe

*on screen note: Recorded on May 21st*

J: Yes. Well, firstly I'd like to go with this topic...'Celebrities say "NO" to Abe's personnel. A bill to extend the mandatory retirement age of prosecutors is 'inviting the deterioration of public order'. Perhaps due to the influence of the many people, including celebrities, who took part in an online protest on Twitter, a government bill to extend the mandatory retirement age of prosecutors is currently being shelved by the Diet. It is merely being shelved, this does not mean it will be thrown out. However, if the mandatory retirement age is actually ammendened, what kind of influece would it have? This is the topic today.

So this is an evolving story. The person at the centre of it is chief prosecutor Kurokawa from the Tokyo High Public Prosecutor's Office. He was caught betting on Mahjong, *T laughs* and has since announced his resignation. So, this already confusing situation has descended even further into chaos, its almost like a movie, or manga plot. I thought this news was incredible. Kaoru, have you been following this story?

K: Well, I've seen it, yeah.

J: Have you? Well, many people have been speaking out on Twitter. Regarding this, well, if we were to simply explain the contents of the bill in question...the Prosecutors Office, well, the prosecutors, they are the only ones with the power to indict in Japan.The police can arrest and manage people, but they have no power to indict. In realation to a case, only the prosecutors can make an indictment, either guilty or innocent, and if guilty, they can decide the appropriate sentence in court. If the prosecutors don't indict a person, even if they are arrested, the power to arrest still exists...that person wouldn't be a 'criminal', which makes whether or not the prosecutors decide to indict a very important issue. I think we talked about this in a previous episode, but if we say the conviction rate is 99.9%, almost everyone who is arrested will be found guilty. So whether or not the prosecutors will indict is pretty much decided upon arrest. Then, in relation to the personnel of the Prosecutors Office, there is this 'Public Prosecutors Office Law', which states that the Prosecutor General has to retire at age 65, and everyone else in the Prosecutors Office has to retire at age 63. However, the current top guy, the Prosecutor General is about to retire, so the question has arisen of who will replace him. Now, usually the Prosecutor General will choose his replacement, but rather than going with the choice of the Prosecutor General, Abe's government said that they wanted this guy Kurokawa to be the next Prosecutor General. The problem is, Kurokawa is one of those who had to retire at age 63, and he retired on the 7th of Feb this year, so they wanted to extend his mandatory retirement age by six months. In that time, the person designated by the current Prosecutor General would have reached his age limit and had to retire. They imagined that with him out of the way, Kurokawa would then automatically succeed to the position of Prosecutor General. But like I already mentioned, according to the law, Kurokawa has to retire at 63, so they pulled out this other law called the 'National Public Service Act', which is...well, prosecutors are also public servants, so according to this Act, if the government decides to, they are allowed to extend the retirement age of a public servant for up to six months. So in pulling this out, they extended Kurokawa's retirement. But if you ask which law comes first, the National Public Service Act, or the Public Prosecutors Office Law...prosecutors are doing special work, with the power to indict, so rather than settling with the generally applying National Public Service Act, the Public Prosecutors Office Law was created intentionally to ensure retirement. In spite of this the govt. have suddenly pulled out this loosly applying legislation, and declared 'We are gonna extend his retirement age! Cause its written in law', and made the six month extention. In contradiction to this there has been a passionate response, 'Isn't that illegal?!' or with regards to the government arbitrarily choosing a potentially advantagous person as top prosecutor, like, 'Can they really do that?!'. Now, at present as for the content which the govt. wants to actually ammend...well, its currently the case that prosecutors have to retire at either 65 or 63, but if that was ammended, a rule would be included to extend the retirement age by three years. If that if happened...this would be after Kurokawa, but if that became legal, and the govt. starting saying, 'This guy gets an extention, that guy gets an extension', the other prosecutors might all start licking the govt.'s boots, and they may no longer be able to handle the many rocky cases in which politicians are caught misbehaving. 1*. There as been much talk about how distasteful this seems.

T: Thats right. And then, it exploded on Twitter, and public opinion has turned against it. And just when we thought the proposal was shelved, the issue exploded again.

J: It did explode again. It wasn't Tokyo Sports who revealed it was it?

T: No, it wasn't. Imagine that!

K: It would be great timing.

J: So, the key figure in all of this, Kurokawa, he gathered some reporters to join him gambling on mahjong, heedless of the corona situation. He loves mahjong anyway, thats a well known story, but this time they played mahjong while gambling on it. So there is also the issue of the leglity of betting on mahjong.

T: Yeah, theres too much information to this story. *the others laugh*

J, K: There is!

J: You lose track of what the problem actually is...

Kami: No, there is only one problem. There is one focus.

J: What is that, in your view, Kami?

Kami: Im very interested in this...What was his rate? *Everyone laughs*

J: What was his rate for betting on mahjong??

K: Of course, of course.

Kami: Thats the only problem.

J: Just that?

Kami: Yes, just that.

T: Do you like mahjong, Kami?

Kami: Yes, I like mahjong. I wondered how much that kind of top class guy would bet on mahjong. Thats the most important thing to me. *T laughing*

T: Thats incredible, Kami.

Kami: Its not written down anywhere.

J: Tokyo Sports could get an exclusive with this.

Kami: Tasai, Tasai...I have a request for Tasai san.

T: Yes, ahh..eh? Ok.

Kami: Isn't there times where all the reporters get together for gatherings or something?

T: Yeh, there is.

Kami: Umm..Could you...

K: Are you gonna ask directly?

Kami: At the reporters club, could you say, 'Im Tasai from Tokyo Sports, I'd like to talk about Kurokawa betting on mahjong...what was his rate?.'..I want you to do that for me.

J: Ahh, he wants you to do it.

T: I'd raise my hand like this, and say 'Im Tasai from Tokyo Sports...'?

Kami: Yes, thats it. And also, isn't there a famous female reporter?

T: Ohh, at Tokyo Shinbun newspaper?

J: Mochizuki san, right?

T: Yeh, Mochizuki san.

Kami: Ahh, yes yes. You'd win against her...if you asked.

T: Ahh, win against Mocchii?

Kami: You would!

J: Well, she's a person of the times isn't she?

T: Yeah. By the way, they say Ebisu Yoshikazu san was caught doing リャンピン*2, which is like 200yen to 1000 points.

J: Oh, so your guilt changes depending on the amount you bet?

T: If its quite a lot, generally in mahjong...

Kami: It doesn't change.... Any betting of money is illegal I think.

J: So if you bet anything, thats it?

T: Strictly speaking..

Kami: Money is money, its not allowed.

J: I see.

T: If you bet money, its illegal, but there are mahjong parlours all over Japan, right? And in reality, there are other kind of speculating entertainment places, like pachinko. So often, when its at a rate like this, the police often just overlook it. They are not trying to disturb illegal entertainment to that extent. For example 500yen to 1000 points, they are kinda just acknowledging that kind of situation now. So even in mahjong parlours, if you express your rate clearly, thats a no-no, but..

J, K: Ahh, ok.

T: If you say 'Im betting at this rate'..Theres kind of a very subtle line, in reality. Strictly speaking, betting even 1 yen is illegal.

Kami: Wasn't there some city's mayor who was accused of betting on mahjong, and he responded, its no fun if you don't bet? *T laughs*

K: There was something like that, yeh.

J: Thats very honest.

Kami: Yeh.

T: Thats right.

Kami: Yeah, I thought the same as him.

T: Ahh, I see..

Kami: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

T: Do you like gambling, Kami?

J But, actually, where do gods play mahjong?

T: Right?!

K: Hehehe

J: Do gods go to mahjong parlours?

Kami: I've been to them. *everyone laughs*

J: This is a vulgar god!

T: Kami, are you good at gambling?

Kami: No, I just like it...but I rarely win.

J, T: *laugh*

K: He doesn't have the knack for it, right?

J: Yeah.

Kami: Not at all.

J: Thats it, he likes it, but he doesn't win.

T: But using his 1000yen hourly earnings like that...

J: Yeah, betting with what little money he has..

T: How sad!

Kami: With mahjong, I always feel like I want to bet more, I want to outbet the others. *3

J: You're the impatient type?

T: You outbet them straight away?

*Everyone laughing*

J: You're impatient.

Kami: Thats right.

K: I see.

T: So in this instance, it can also be explained as a way to divert criticism away from the administration. In short, making Kurokawa's mahjong gambling the focus, attention is diverted away from the government's hard insistence on extending the retirement age. Thats the argument. And in the meantime, the next Prosecutor General could have been already been marked out. In the end, they could end up doing the same thing again.

J: Well, I don't know exactly how this story about Kurokawa's mahjong tournament was leaked, but he was playing with Asahi journalists?...and Sankei journalists, one explanation is that Sankei leaked the story. I mean, if you ask for details, basically in that area around the Diet building, Nagatacho or Kasumigaseki and such, everyone is so close together, that everyone knows everything. Even if they don't show each other, they are all moving to the same beat, so there will always be rumours of this type of thing. If Kurokawa disappears after this, and this happens again to future top prosecutors, they could just be thrown out, so instead they may end up becoming minions of the government.

T: Yeah

J: Its very scary, and like you explained Tasai, Kurokawa san resigned due to this mahjong scandal, so when we look back at this we will see him as a person involved in mahjong gambling, but that isn't actually the real problem here. Its really about forcing the retirement age, the sociology of law to change. I mean Kurokawa san has been a very useful guy to this administration up till now. We can't forget what he was trying to become, and just say 'Ah, the guy who quit due to mahjong!', that was only the final element. If things became like that, it would seem wrong for the distortion of Japan's judicary to end up as a story about mahjong, im a little concerned about that. As for Kurokawa, he resigned, he wasn't fired. So he got a payoff.

T: Thats unforgivable.

J: Yeah, so we also have to think about that.　This is a situation where he really should have been dismissed, but to resign in advance and get his leaving payoff..Id like him to use it all betting on mahjong against Kami. *T laughs*.

K: Ahh, that would be good.

J: Right?

K: Kami would never win!

Kami: No, i couldn't play at such a high rate. No way!

T: If you're not gonna win, right?

Kami: No no no, no way.

T: It would've been a big payoff.

J: It would.

Kami: No, no way.

J: It would work if you really focussed all your power though?

K: Yeah, pile it all up.

J: Yeah! And then lets all go wild at Yakiniku.

T: Yeh, lets go!

Kami: No, I'll lose my money early, so can I go home after that?

K: No, you have to stay till you win.

T: Play until you win.

K: Okay, well on that note..

Kami: If I had to do that..um..

K: What?.....Hm?

J: What did he say?

K: Well, anyway..

Kami: Yes, yesyesyes

K: Yes yes?

Kami: I thought you were about to finish, so..what was it? I forgot what I was going to say.

*Everyone laughs*

J: Make sure you remember what it was by next time, Kami.

Kami: Yeh, ok.

K: Ok, well lets finish here for this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

J, T: Thank you very much.

*1 Misbehaving, or something like it.

2, 3* I don't know anything about mahjong rules.

This was another tough episode! Eeek!

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #薫 #kaoru

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tartagliaxx · 3 years ago

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Oh yo same??? This morning I had canned sardines and I was like 'oh okay, maybe it's the normal sardines today' BUT IT WASN'T. AND IT B U R N E D. Mind you I cannot handle too much Spice in my food as is, but for some reason those sardines? Spicy as freaking HECK AHDHSVS. Glad to hear you got to enjoy your bts meal though! uwub

Ho y e ah. They're living through the absolute worst at that point. It sucks even more because, if they even try to explain it to someone, the most they'll get is sympathy but not full understanding, the worst being that they're brushed off with a "get a grip, it's just a dream." Either way it's pure torture until they find some sort of way to move on

Now that I think about it, the second au really do be us now, huh? qwq Thinking about our comfort charas and dreaming about them, and just all in all being happy that they simply exist--at least in this au there's still some form of contact through dreaming, but s till ahdjdhs (It is kinda hilarious if they tell each other how they're treated as characters in their respective worlds though, like when it comes to their merch or how rare they are as a character lol)

The isekai ending is definitely my way of trying not to sink too much into the Angst because,,, gosh dang I can only suffer so much aSKDBDJBD--

I mean it'll still be probably a bit bittersweet for the one who got isekai'd (they can't go back home to their own family or friends anymore after all hh), but at the very least they'll finally have each other? Instead of just dreaming about them and not being able to really be with them??

-🌻

i’m crying,, i thought it wouldnt be able to get even more sad but it did. goddamnit it did. they must feel reaaally alone now huh...

anshahhshsjaja i love that! ‘so in our world we have husbandos. and you... you’re one of them. you got a lot of people simping for you — just begging you to step on them. im deffo one of them😌✋’

ok but what if the isekai’d person doesnt have anyone/anything to hold onto in their world? and suddenly they find themselves in a word far too different from what they’re used to but for some strange reason, they fit right in. sure, maybe they don’t know how to run a coffee machine but somehow, having someone to worry and nag at him for this and that... somehow, that just makes their heart throb in a way they never felt before. thats an ideal scenario isnt it?

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : 🌻 •°ˎˊ˗

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years ago

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i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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sugagimmesugar · 5 years ago

Text

Only Fools Fall for You Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I know that you’re the feeling that I’m missing

Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6

The pub she takes him to is a small place, designed to imitate the British pubs as closely as possible. The food fits the theme, with stews and classics like Fish & Chips on the menu, accompanied by a huge selection of beers. It’s the perfect place for Namjoon. It’s quiet and quaint, beautiful in a rough, comfortable way. Like a pub should be. The only customers on a Monday evening are a few middle aged people, definitely not the kind to go berserk when they recognize him. He loosens a breath, relieved at the possibility of a simple, calm night at a pub. A rarity with his hectic lifestyle. They sit down, silently choosing food and drinks, just calmly existing together.

As their drinks arrive, they start talking again, the girl suddenly bursting with questions: “Ok, so I get you’re like a superstar…” She whispers the last word with a grin. “... So you guys have two concerts here in town? And tomorrow is the second one? How did the first one go? And what do you do in your free time? Do you even have free time?” With her hand under her chin, she grins at him, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. He laughs, takes a deep breath and tries not to fall into his interview persona as he is confronted with questions he’s heard a thousand times before. Normally, his dates don't start out with a whole list of questions like this. Normally, his dates know who he is and what that means. But this seems like fun.

“OK, uh.. Let me think. Yes, we have two concerts here. Then we move on to Stockholm and then the next place. The first concert was Saturday night, it went great. It’s always amazing with ARMY, that’s our fans. They love us so much and as much as we can get scared before a big show, their screams and love always make our hearts shine bright. And, yes, the second one is tomorrow, this was supposed to be a whole week of vacation for us but the tickets sold so well that our company decided to push another concert, even if its mid-week. Surprisingly, it’s also sold-out. So it should be awesome.” He pauses, a dimpled smile on his face as he thinks of ARMY and how nicely the Saturday concert went.

He winks at y/n : “You should really come tomorrow, see it for yourself.” She just laughs, waving him to continue answering her questions: “Uh, what else did you ask? Right, the free time. As I said, this was supposed to be our vacation, just a little time off in between concerts. We rarely get more than that. We are constantly working on new music, and in K-Pop the time in between albums is a lot shorter, so this is quite normal. But yea, we still get some time off, even though most of it is spent sleeping or working on music. Or travelling. I don’t really know when the last time was when I had a whole day just to do what I want. Today was really something special there, even though we still had practise this morning. Tomorrow will be lots of rehearsing and a fansign, so today was the most free time I got in the last weeks. So I spent it doing what I like to do most, I saw more of a new city, explored a beautiful town and saw some of a culture that is different from what I am used to.” As he speaks, her face drops a little but she can’t help but smile at his obvious excitement and love for her city.

“Damn, it sounds like you need to rest. How about you take a break from RM tonight and just spend some time as Namjoon? Take at least a small break from superstardom. I promise I’ll try to forget that you’re like insanely famous and coincidentally my latest musical obsession. “ She finishes with a laugh. A weight drops from his heart, he didn’t realise how worried he had been that she might focus only on RM and not care about Namjoon anymore. Another broad smile spreads across his face and he raises his glass: “I’ll drink to that, y/n. A break, just a fun night as Namjoon. Show me how you can have fun on a Monday night here.” Laughing, they clink their glasses together and take a deep swig.

As they sit, talking about this and that, his phone starts plinging incessantly, a stream of texts from the other members. He excuses himself, and she laughs: “Must be important if 6 guys text you that much. I need to go to the bathroom anyways, so y’all can figure out whatever is so exciting.” She gets up and leaves him, smiling at his small apologetic look.

** BTS Groupchat**

JK: ey guys, Jimin-hyung found a store that sells exclusively alcohol and he went a bit overboard….

JK: so…. we have loads of drinks now, and manager Seijinie-Hyung says we can’t travel with that much alcohol in our luggage… so we’re supposed to either finish it before friday or we will have to throw it out.

JK: anyways, party at the AirBnB for anyone who isn’t already here….

Jimin: They had so many lovely tastes of vodka, how could I not try them all??

Jimin: So far I have tried 8… theyre niiiice

Tae: please guys we need some help here, you know I dont drink, even if it tastes like candy. Tae: And Jiminie is already drunk.

Jin: OMW with some food. I found a korean restaurant so we have to judge their quality

Jin: I bought lots of rice and 10 side dishes so it should be able to feed at least kookie and me

Jin: I am joking, I bought many snacks too, we have enough for tonight.

JK: FOOOOD!!! Thank you hyung!

Jimin: give me snac

Hobi: Sounds like a good time, but can I bring a girl?

Jin: do we have enough food for more guests? Also how did you already meet another girl, I didn’t even know last night’s visitor had left

Hobi: she seems nice enough, she doesnt know BTS so thats chill

Joonie: I know you guys have a group chat without me, why blow up my phone while I am on a date?

Jimin: Rapmonnie on a datee

Jimin: bring the girl we have enough drinks for evrybodyy

Jin: bring her!

Tae: just bring her!

Hobi: Yes, bring her, then I can bring my girl too

Hobi: Party Timeee!

JK: I’m sorry hyung. But yes, bring the girl. We can watch movies and play drinking games, the more people the more fun.

He takes a deep breath, looking up from his phone, smiling faintly. Considering, he looks around the bar, locking eyes with y/n who is waiting at the bar, trying to get more drinks. She smiles and he waves her over. At her gesture towards the bar he shakes his head, this time gesturing more persuasively. He looks at her with a big smile as she finally comes over, a questioning look on her face.

“You finished your drink ages ago, I thought I’d get this round and you can buy the next.”

“I have a question for you, a small change of plans, possibly.”

She raises her eyebrow, “Okay… Hit me, Nam.”

His heart stutters at the little nickname, and smiling he says: “My phone blowing up was actually the other members, one of them found a store that exclusively sells liquor and he kinda bought way too much for us to take home so our manager says we either have to drink it asap or we will have to throw it all out. So…. there’s a small party going on at our place, they’re asking us to join, too. If you’re up for that. I promise they’re loads of fun. A bit messy and crazy but fun. Jin-hyung is bringing food as well so we have food….. Although, we just ate so you are probably full… but yea, there’s a party, the other 6 members and apparently some girl. If you’re ok with it we could go there? What do you say?”

Her mouth hanging open in shock she says “He bought so much alcohol at Systemet that you can't travel with it? That’s a lot!! Uh, I guess I could go change quickly and come along. But could I maybe bring a friend as well. Just cause, you know, you're a tall buff man inviting me to go to some place with you and meet your 6 male friends…. I would like at least some backup.”

#Only Fools #bts rm #bts jin #bts suga #bts jhope #bts v #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts namjoon #bts taehyung #bts imagine #bts fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #rm x reader #rm x y/n

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years ago

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Day 70

Seventy.

Life is going on. With ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Well life is mostly grey for me.

As every day passes, i just realize more and more how much i love him. I really dont want to bluff about it but I just couldnt stop from typing it out because the realization blows my mind away. And one big reason is because I would never do what i did, or can do for him, and no one will ever mean anything even remotely close to how much he meant to me and will always mean to me.

This might all just sound like a cheesy note any person in love would say but Oh God! trust me, this is what comes to my head after quite a good number of not-so-nice crap i have in my big fat head. So yeah! thats how i just know. This is not ever going away. And if I ever got a chance to re-live, i wouldn’t have wanted to fall in love with anyone else, orrrrrrrrrrr id just wish I was alone. That’s pretty cool tooo!! lol

Speaking of which. Yeah. I pretty much do enjoy my own company. I just dont like communicating much with people. for a lot of reasons actually. Well, to begin with. I believe im a really complicated person. LIke, everyone has their own story and theres something twisty about everyone and bla bla but then I really do thing Im just not that easy to understand, and to top all that, I dont even like opening up to people so thats more of a reason to not get me. I am kind of aware of the fact that i seem to have a lot of ego and seem to be filled with pride and arrogance. But thats not true, thats just how some people see me, and i cant blame them because i think that is something i mask myself with. However, many people do find me really sweet and all but whatever side anyone sees, its always clear, im not really interested in getting too close with anyone and that i appreciate my own space. Sometimes, i do wonder if i really do enjoy being on my own or i actually want some good friends. But then the thing is, i have really really good friends back from high school. the only thing is, theyre not in the same country, theyre far away. but then again, even when we were all on ksa, we still mostly communicated on social media and stuff so it shouldnt matter much i guess. what im trying to say is. despite all the misunderstanding people might have with me, or people actually finding me sweet or whatever. or me not liking them much or wanting them to be my friends or whatever. the thing is, its not that i dont have anyone at all. because i do have people who know me. they dont know every little detail about me though, and thats because i dont talk much to them either. but they know me as a person. like i dont need to kiss their ass to get their attention, i can be myself with them.. i can be mean, and rude, or not keep in touch or act like im full of ego, like im so full of my shit and theyd still accept me. because they know that thats just how i am. im not sugarcoated.

But.. it still doesnt matter

What im saying is. I prefer sitting alone on my own. doing literally nothing. no phone. no laptop. no means of communication with the outside world OVER actually chatting with anyone. or even someone who knows me so well and is close to me.

Ok man, i talk a lot! So yeah that’s the thing! but when we were together, i wouldve done anything to not miss a chance to talk to him lol - thats just an easy way to put it out there, that he was different.

And also putting it out there how my life is right now. I prefer my own company. I dooooo badly wish i had a ‘partner’ though - an ‘eating partner’!!!!!! haha! I really wish i could go to restaurants with someone to try food randomly. But then. idk. i mean its not that easy to find someone who has the same love for food and aso someone whos willing to spend money to try food or someone whod be able to hang out with me. especially i dont even have any good friends in ksa right now Ugh

Another really important reason i dont like talking to people much is the commitment. I hate commitment!!!!!!! And when i say commitment i dont even mean something serious like being in some relationship. i mean.. even the smallest commitment. like when you even knock someone and the person expects you to reply fast. Like okay give me a break! We dint exchange vows or something, yth do i need to reply fast. or whyd you even expect me to reply fast like idk. do people just pause their lives and just talk to other people? bleh Im not even ready for that so yeah!

buttttttttt then again - with him. it was SO different. but like i said. it was only him!!!!

Something cool was the fact that i had a dream of him the other day. we never met each other f2f after our last conversation, so him in my dream was the first time we met f2f which wasnt actual anyways!!! But!!! I was so full of attitude. Like I could totally see my facial expressions and go like. “Oh God Youuu” to myself! Im usually full of attitude in front of other guys, if i ever am, which is kinda rare. just saying!

So i read his post about him going to bd and stuff, and i wont even lie about how i totally never like that. but then this time its different obviously. In many ways though. One way to look at it is how i just remembered about the time when he was in bd last year! ~~~ And the award for the roughest of all times goes to!!!!

Now comes the part were I actually give the reason why I dont blog much! Well tbh i want to blog all the time. But then!!!! Who am i kidding???? Its obviously cause I want him to read my post and blabla so yeah I dont! I mean. I really want to, but i dont. The same way. Forget blogging man. I mean. In this generation, with all these advancements and i say, no barrier at all. If we could decide like two mature adults to stop talking for nothing but good intentions then i sure as hell can keep myself from blogging about every little thing, and keep my shit together, and only blog when my mind and my heart says that i got it in my hands and im not going to screw up!

and so that would mean that anything i post about, is just a very little, incomplete detail of the entire story and i almost always will sugarcoat it a million times and put it up here!

but like i said - every thing just ends with me realizing how in love i am with him and as long as that is how it ends, i like it.

So “losing weight” is like the --aim of my life-- right now. Just that its so boring oh maa gawd - and so i end up watching suits. which is soooooo niiiceeeeee omgg. And i actually love the couple there. Mike & Rachel! - oh and also its kinda funny to me idk why but whenever i see any couple onscreen that i like, my inner me kinda teases me going like “sarah, you loser!!!!!” and then i look down from the screen for a second or two like an actual loser would doo and then yeah i just “laugh it away” - like silently! ~ No hard feelings!

umm.so yeah i was saying. The main thing is losing weight and i want to lose one kg a week WHICH I AM NOT BY THE WAY. so i kind of get sad from time to time and all, and then idk get ok with it, and then sad again and alll that. and then battling myself against food is there. Today though i kind of figured out that if i watch suits while on the treadmill ill kinda stay distracted, and it wont be boring anymore and ill be able to go somewhere i guess.

so theres around 9 weeks left for uni to open and i wish vacation never ended but yeah lets just face reality. And about my brother, 6 weeks left. So that means I wna lose around 9 kgs before uni reopens but its smart to kind of plan a bit more than you actually want so that if you dont totally achieve your goal youll still land somewhere good. if you know what i mean.

Now there is a lot i want to say. SO muchh. But I cant be fooling myself. It would obviously be for him only. So Ill just hold everything back in!!!!!!

But one thing I want the world to know

Everyone has their own problems and their own imperfection and perfections and whatever. But ever since I had my eyes on him, i knew he was different. infact that is exactly why i liked him in the first place. I dont wna go in depth with this but ill just say it in the simplest way I can.

When I was with him, yes, I did pray for a fairytale story. But not an actual one. because those dont exist. I had my own modified version of a fairytale ending. And in their, everything was not perfect. Everyone was not perfect. there was pain, there were people who didnt know what they were worth. All I ever wanted is to be the person to be ale to mend hearts, to help someone find their way out from the sufferings, to be a part of someone happiness. And even though we are not together right now. I wish the same. I just wanted it to be through me before. Now it doesnt necessarily need to be, cause it definitely will be coming from Allah both ways inshaAllah.

I pray he gets to see what I see in him. And what people see in him. And most importantly, what he sees in himself but fails to value at times.

P.S. My family is excluded from consideration in this post. when i talk about people, i mean everyone else except my family. --ALSOOOOO-- I just randomly sat down at 5am and decided to blog today and so i sat with my laptops and this is all what flowed outta me!

A totally random post!

BUT i do wna mention how the tumblr app on my phone s.u.c.k.s. Cant give notifications properly *&^&%&^$%&%*^(0

Bye c:

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brownthrussy · 7 years ago

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1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It��d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there

1 note · View note

kindofsharethat · 8 years ago

Text

so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read

I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.

I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!

it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history

I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕

i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!

i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!

I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.

I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.

I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!

weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back

I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)

I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚

When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼

I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤

i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)

I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie

I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me

I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"

Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around

I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂

are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~

i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.

i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha

I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real

I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖

for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am

68 notes · View notes

blatherkatt · 8 years ago

Text

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Prologue 2: Regarding Dave Strider

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Death mention, Heavily implied abuse, mentions of terrorist activity (courtesy of Bro Strider), Dave’s mental gymnastics hard at work; So Many Pesterlogs, Illustrated

FIRST | NEXT

4/13/2009

(Excerpt from a front page newspaper article)

ALTERNIAN EMBASSY UNDER ATTACK

The Alternian embassy in Austin, Texas suffered a bomb strike yesterday. Several casualties have been recorded. […] Several suspects were seen on video, but as of yet none have been arrested. The primary suspect is a man named Derek Strider. Strider was honored as a hero for his actions during the wars between Alternia and Earth. Strider is currently 33 years old, 6’5”, blonde, pale-skinned, frequently seen wearing an orange baseball cap and triangular sunglasses. Police ask anyone with any information on his whereabouts to please call…

08/05/2011

(Post made to a comedy blog maintained anonymously by one Dirk L.)

The Big Bi-Annual Serious Post(tm).

Alright, guys. Sorry to be doing this again, but it’s the anniversary, and I’m fucking desperate. To everyone who’s new enough to this blog to have never witnessed my twice-yearly floundering tribute to futility, buckle the fuck up because we’re in for a wild ride.

Yeah, I know, “you were so cute as a child,” et cetera et cetera. Do me a favor and save the patronizing comments on this particular baby photo and instead turn your attention to the little boy on the left. His name is Dave. When this photo was taken, he was six years old; he’s currently a few months shy of thirteen. Assuming he’s still alive, anyway.

I haven’t seen him in six years. Six years ago today, our father came in the dead of night and kidnapped him.

It’s pretty clear at this point that the police have given up on finding him. I haven’t. I’d have to be a pretty shitty older brother to do that, but unfortunately, there’s not much I can do on my own.

All I’m asking is that if you have any word on him, if you know him, if you’ve seen him, if you ran into him in a fucking supermarket, anything at all, please, please tell me. It’s a long shot, I know, but, shit, maybe this weird fucking blog I run can do some good, right?

Let’s skip the usual fucking around, though. Like I said, it’s been six years. I assure you, none of you are the first one to think of the hilarious joke of leading me on and relentlessly fucking with me. It’s not funny, and I’m not in the mood.

Thanks.

(Chatlog from Pesterchum)

— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:15 PM 08/05/2011 —

EB: hey, you’re the guy who runs that weird blog, right?

TT: I run a number of weird blogs. You’ll have to be more specific.

TT: I don’t post my handle on any of them anymore, though, so I’m a bit confused as to how you got it.

EB: got it from my sister! shes been following you for a little while and said you added her recently

EB: she’s gutsygumshoe!

EB: id message you through the actual blog but i mean i dont have a tumblr haha

TT: Ah, okay.

TT: GG’s pretty cool. Knowing she gave you my handle is at least reassuring in the sense that I don’t have to worry so much about who’s getting my contact info.

TT: Why so keen to talk to me, though? It doesn’t sound like you’ve much interest in the contents of the actual blog.

EB: nah its not a sense of humor i feel like i really get

EB: but thats not the point here its actually really important!

EB: see my sis was talking about that post you made today at dinner

EB: she felt really bad for you i guess but she showed it to me and i think i might know dave!

TT: Ah. We’re doing this, okay.

EB: ???

TT: I hope you’ll excuse me not leaping for joy.

TT: There’s been a lot of false alarms over the years. It’s hard to hope.

EB: i mean that might be for the best

EB: im really not sure myself but a lot of weird stuff matches up

EB: the kid in the picture does look a lot like the dave i know and the number of siblings matches up!

TT: Never said that the little girl was my sister.

EB: oh, isn’t she?

EB: that puts a bit of a damper on things if not, because the sister was something he was a lot more sure of.

TT: Um. What?

EB: i should start from the beginning here shouldnt i haha

EB: sorry im a little nervous! and dave isnt online right now because of course he isnt so i cant double check this stuff with him yet ugh

EB: hes like one of my best friends even though weve only met online

EB: the age matches up too! hes twelve right now and turns 13 in a few months

TT: Hm. A bit coincidental, sure, but Dave isn’t exactly a rare name.

EB: he looks a lot like your dave too though!

EB: here look at this

— ectoBiologist sent a file: socool.jpg —

TT: That is the shittiest photo I’ve ever seen.

EB: ugh yeah sorry

EB: he takes them bad on purpose, hes got a really weird sense of humor

EB: thats honestly the best one i have of him right now :(

TT: I can sort of see what you mean by there being a bit of a resemblance, though.

TT: If I squint and tilt my head really hard, I mean.

EB: yeah ok but i mean im still not at the really important part!

EB: see ive known for a while that he lives with his bro

EB: but like a couple weeks ago he told me something really weird!

TT: We’re pretty sure Dave was kidnapped by our father.

TT: I think I’d know if I was living with him.

EB: thats the thing though! his bro isnt actually his brother

EB: hes daves dad

EB: dave isnt sure why the guy makes him call him bro

EB: he told me though that he feels like he does actually have an older brother

EB: cant remember the older brothers name very well, he thinks it starts with a d?

EB: and he remembers having a sister too, and he was like.

EB: absolutely positive her name was rose

EB: wasn’t sure on her age though, he thought she must’ve been pretty close to his age

EB: but i mean if that girl in that photo isn’t your sister then that kinda throws all this right down the drain

TT: She is.

EB: what?

TT: She is my sister. I was…sorry, it was a reflex. I’m so used to people fucking with me over this, I said that to try and throw you off, but

TT: Fuck, my hands are shaking. I hope you’re serious here.

EB: is all that stuff right then??

TT: Her name’s Rose, and she is our sister, and my name does start with a D.

TT: Is there anything else about him that you can tell me that might help identify him?

EB: um

EB: oh! his birthday’s december 3rd!

TT: I

TT: Jesus Christ

EB: :D

EB: ah fuck there he is hold on

EB: asshole finally got online

EB: im gonna show him that post

TT: I

TT: Yeah, you should

TT: Do that.

TT: I’m

TT: Fuck.

EB: oh my god he is rambling up a storm

EB: ive never seen him this excited gosh

EB: do you wanna talk to him? i can give you his handle

TT: Jesus fucking Christ of course I want to talk to him.

TT: Please.

TT: Fuck.

EB: turntechgodhead!

EB: i gave him yours too

EB: you still there dude?

EB: oh i guess you’re probably talking to him now huh haha

— timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:23 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Dave?

TG: holy shit

TG: holy shit holy shit i thought i fucking dreamed it all holy shit

TG: im trying to sort all this shit but its all so fucking vague

TG: rose is real though right

TT: She is. You and she are twins.

TG: holy fuck

TG: holy shit im a twin holy fuck

TG: and you too holy shit

TG: i cant fucking remember your name though i dont know whats going on with that

TG: like my brain just decided to pick random details to remember about you all

TG: roses name? sure

TG: the fact that were fucking twins? nope

TG: older brother exists? yeah sure that can stay

TG: his name? hell no

TG: was it dick please tell me its not dick i will throw myself out the fucking window

TT: Dirk, actually.

TG: FUCK

TG: thank fuck im not crazy you guys actually exist jfc

TT: Are you okay?

TG: im the okayest motherfucker this side of the milky way

TG: the fucking siblings i thought i dreamed up actually exists and im talking to one of them

TG: im like if okay took a physical form and that form was the coolest dude who ever fuckin existed

TG: okaying all the fuck over the place

TG: why are you asking thats a weird thing to ask

TT: No, I mean.

TT: Are you…safe, I guess?

TG: uh yeah i guess

TG: this particular motel room doesnt strike me as the cleanest but i mean at least theres no bedbugs this time

TT: You’re in a motel?

TG: yeah weve been moving around a lot lately

TT: I’d imagine so.

TT: According to the news, the old man’s been pretty busy lately.

TG: yyyyyeah

TG: i dont know whats up with that

TG: i mean i know the trolls fuckin invaded us or whatever but i was like a year old when that shit ended

TG: i dunno why he hates them so much

TG: im sure hes got his reasons maybe its all for the best but i kinda want nothing to do with that shit

TT: So you’re not involved in that stuff?

TG: i kinda get the feeling hes building up to dragging me into it but not yet no

TT: Where are you?

TG: didnt get the name of the town but i assume were still in texas

TG: thats where weve been as long as i can remember

TG: excluding the shit i remember from being with you guys

TG: like i guess that might be in texas but the memories dont feel like texas

TG: its a little too you know

TG: not the suns blistering steaming asshole

TG: i mean jesus its fuckin hot here all the time and i swear i have memories of not being miserable from the sun trying to roast us all alive

TT: We’re in upstate New York, actually.

TG: holy shit really

TT: Yeah.

TT: You got really mad once when you found out that there is no literal big apple.

TG: the fuck do you mean once im still pissed

TG: god damn big apple youd expect a place like that to specialize in fuckin aj but no its just a stupid nickname

TG: city of fuckin lies is what it is

TT: Jesus Christ.

TG: sorry except im not

TG: i take my aj fuckin seriously

TT: No, I just

TT: It’s really you, Christ.

TT: This is happening. I’m talking to my baby brother for the first time in six years, and he’s still dorkishly addicted to apple juice.

TG: fuck you aj is the nectar of the gods

TG: shit i gotta go bros back

TT: What? Why?

TG: ill be in touch when i can

TG: bro doesnt want me talking to people online anymore and im not particularly thrilled at the prospect of a strife tonight

TG: see you around

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:47 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Wait, Dave!

TT: Shit.

— timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:15 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Thank you.

EB: :B

— timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:16 PM 08/05/2011 —

08/06/2011

— tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:25 AM 08/06/2011 —

TT: Dave, it’s Rose.

— turntechGodhead is offline! —

TT: Thank you, Pesterchum, for confirming the obvious.

TT: I just wanted to make sure you had my contact information as well.

TT: Dirk said he spoke to you yesterday, and I will confess that I am almost afraid to believe him.

TT: It almost hurts to hope, as cliche as that is to say.

TT: But if it’s true, and this really is you, I look forward to at least being able to talk to you again.

— tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:30 AM 08/06/2011 —

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:14 PM 08/06/2011 —

TG: rose holy shit

TG: ok first off lets talk about that fucking username

TG: what the fuck rose

TG: what the actual fuck

TT: Well, there goes any doubt as to your identity I might have had.

TG: the fucks that supposed to mean

TT: I suppose it means that I’ve missed you.

TT: This feels so surreal. Six years with you gone, and here we are, talking.

TT: And you’re the same as ever, somehow.

TG: excuse me im not the one going on the internet as some octopus in a shrink suit

TG: tentacletherapist what the actual fuck

TT: What kind of name is turntechGodhead, then?

TG: a fuckin awesome one is what

TT: Truly, it demonstrates both your nobility and your humility.

TG: you bet your ass it does

TG: the humblest fuckin guy to ever shock the fuckin world with his sick beats

TG: ill rap you under the table and be super not braggy about it

TG: sounds like a fuckin paradox but im just fuckin cool enough to pull it off

TG: be makin people drop like flies with my dope rhymes

TG: everyone be trippin over this sick beat

TG: some guy at the clubs monocle just popped out and socked him in the face

TG: like hey loser why arent you that fuckin awesome and modest

TT: I’m sorry, there’s a man in a suit and a monocle at this hypothetical club?

TG: well it wasnt a club to start with

TG: just some fancy dudes all bein posh and shit

TG: but i walked in and its a fuckin party now

TG: i didnt even have to start rappin i just set foot in the place and it all lights the fuck up

TG: glowsticks are popping into existence to get the rave going and half the posh dudes immediately start fuckin grinding

TG: and im like yo i only wanted to grab one of your weird sandwiches and leave but yall gotta be like this

TG: cant a guy just go somewhere without the party starting on me

TT: How dreadful it must be, to be such a majestic being!

TG: its a curse i must bear

TG: heavy is the crown

TT: I’m sorry to change the subject to something very strange, but I have an odd favor to ask.

TG: yeah shoot

TT: Your friend, John, provided one of your “ironic selfies” to Dirk to try and confirm your identity to him.

TT: Would it be possible to get one with the irony turned down a few notches?

TT: And possibly minus the shades?

TG: woah what why

TT: It’s…

TT: Our mother misses you too, Dave. She’s been devastated ever since we lost you.

TG: oh

TT: I think it would do her some good to at least know what you look like, now.

TT: The only existing pictures of you we have are so old.

TG: yeah

TG: yeah i can do that hold up

— turntechGodhead sent a file: boringasfuckselfie.jpg —

TT: Thank you.

TT: Here’s a recent picture of myself and Dirk, by the by.

TT: Fair trade.

— tentacleTherapist sent a file: EquallyBoring.jpg —

TG: well shit

TG: dirks hair somehow got even more bullshit anime

TG: i thought i was definitely fucking imagining that part but nope

TT: It is pretty bullshit.

TT: He goes through a lot of hair gel.

TG: hahahaha

TG: rose

TG: rose hey rose

TT: I’m still here, Dave. What is it?

TG: rose were twins

TT: We are, yes.

TG: im still fucking losing it over that okay

TG: bro never fuckin talks about you guys and he got mad at me for asking too much years back so i stopped

TG: but i swear ive always had this feeling like i definitely wasnt an only child and i remembered you strongest

TG: dont tell dirk that but i did

TG: its like

TG: i was so sure i musta dreamed you guys up but youre real and i have a twin im a fuckin twin rose

TT: While I can’t completely relate, as our mother never made any secret of your existence and Dirk remembered you quite clearly, I can at least connect to the surrealism of this experience.

TT: I’m almost afraid I’m going to wake up and be left bereft.

TG: fuck i wanna keep talking but bros gonna be home any minute

TT: Do you need to sign off for the night?

TG: yeah

TG: dont wanna get in trouble

TG: i am pretty much directly disobeying him right now

TT: Any idea when you’ll be able to get online next?

TG: no

TG: ill talk to you whenever im on though

TT: Take care.

TG: you too

TG: miss you like hell

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:25 PM 08/06/2011 —

12/03/2011

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:45 PM 12/03/2011 —

— TG sent TT a file: happyfuckignbIRTH.gif —

TT: The sentiment is appreciated, but you’re a day early.

TG: what

TG: but

TG: were twins

TG: its my birthday

TT: Yes, well.

TT: You managed to claw your way into the world thirteen minutes before I did.

TT: And as it just so happens, that thirteen minute period straddled the chiming of midnight.

TT: As such, your birthday is technically the day before mine.

TG: wait im the older twin

TG: holy shit i didnt see that coming

TT: I don’t see how it matters very much.

TG: now listen here you whippersnapper

TT: Hush.

TG: as much as id love to lord it up i really cant talk much

TG: im pretty much just droppin that file and running

TT: Well, before you go.

TT: I’ve no such masterpiece prepared, myself, but.

TT: I hope you’ve had a happy birthday.

TG: eh its been alright i guess

TG: enjoy your early present you lucky motherfucker i gotta go

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:47 PM 12/03/2011 —

12/15/2011

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:29 PM 12/15/2011 —

TG: dirk

TG: dude are you there it says youre online but im pretty sure its like

TG: after midnight where you are

TT: About half an hour before, actually.

TG: thank fuck

TT: What’s up?

TG: remember how i said back when we first talked that bro wasnt making me tag along with his fuckin

TG: weird bullshit fight the trolls business

TT: Has that changed?

TG: he made me help him yesterday

TG: im still fuckin shaking i dont know what to do

TG: im sure hes got whatever reasons for doing this shit but i cant

TG: he killed some of them dirk

TG: i watched people die yesterday i dont know what to do

TG: i dont wanna fuckin hurt anyone even if they are aliens

TT: We need to get you the fuck out of there.

TT: Is there any way you can get away from him? I can look up bus schedules, or, shit, hit up the blogs and see if anyone can drive you up here.

TG: dude no

TG: im freakin out but i cant fuckin abandon him hes still family

TT: Dave, he kidnapped you. You realize that, right?

TG: what

TT: He has no legal custody over you.

TG: hes my dad though

TT: He’s a man with no legal rights to your care, who is now actively forcing you to participate in acts of incredible violence against an entire group of people.

TT: That’s fucked up, even if they did technically invade us, once.

TG: dude no its

TG: im fine i just needed to talk to someone and rose is offline

TT: She’s asleep.

TT: I’m not budging on this, though.

TT: You need to get the fuck out of there. He’s going to get you killed.

TG: i can protect my fuckin self thanks

TG: i dont wanna kill anyone but that doesnt mean i cant fight fuck you

TT: That’s not what I meant.

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:57 PM 12/15/2011 —

05/15/2012

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 9:13 PM 05/14/2012 —

TG: hey are you awake

GG: :o

GG: i think i should be asking you that mr night owl!

GG: isnt it like three in the morning where you are?

TG: sleep is for the weak

TG: and for weird girls with medical conditions i guess

GG: hehe

GG: what have you even been up to lately? i havent heard from you in like a week and you talk to me super late!

TG: yeah sorry bros had me busy

TG: doing

TG: stuff

TG: you know what lets not talk about that

TG: as you pointed out it is the asscrack of the morning out here

TG: if im gonna be awake anyway im not spending it talking about that bullshit

GG: has he been running you ragged again? thats awful!

TG: alright fuck well i guess we are talking about it

TG: hes not

TG: putting me at the front of things anymore thank fuck

TG: i think he just gave up on trying to make me do some of the really intense shit at least for now

TG: but hes still expecting me to do shit behind the scenes

TG: cut power

TG: sneak in and unlock doors

TG: shit like that

TG: and hes been watching me like a fuckin hawk i havent been able to get online at all until now so thats why ive been absent

GG: :(

GG: well im glad to hear from you even if it is really late!

TG: yeah

TG: ass o clock or not its nice to fuckin

TG: just talk to someone for a while

TG: dunno why bros gotta be such an asshole i mean i know hes paranoid about us getting caught but its not like the police are gonna have any fuckin idea my shitty pesterchum account is related to the stuff hes doing

TG: like fuck off dude let me talk to my friends

GG: yeah!! >:B

TG: so hey on this latest mission i saw a dude in a fursuit and thought of you

TG: theres no conventions going on right now that im aware of or anything he just decided he was gonna walk around in a fucking animal suit

TG: was the most surreal thing i saw today

TG: and i literally see aliens on a pretty regular fucking basis so thats saying a lot

GG: pfft!

GG: dave i told you i have no interest in fursuits

TG: yeah i know youre too hardcore furry to be able to settle for something like that

TG: you weirdo

GG: says the guy who collects dead things

TG: shut up my dead shit collection is certified off the wall amazing

TG: had an expert in awesome things come by and personally give me the certificate

TG: showed up and went holy shit

TG: thats a rad ass collection of dead shit

TG: heres your certificate let me grovel at your feet

TG: let me bow before its magnificence

GG: lol dave

GG: it is pretty awesome but it is weird too!

GG: the two are not mutually exclusive silly

GG: …dave?

GG: it says you’ve been typing for like twenty minutes now :o

—turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum! —

GG: dave??

GG: are you okay?

GG: did you fall asleep?

GG: thats really cute if you did but you need to be careful!

GG: your bros gonna be really mad if he catches you talking to me

GG: …….he didnt catch you did he?

GG: dave?????

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:25 PM 05/14/2012 —

GG: oh no

— turntechGodhead [TG] is offline! —

GG: D:

06/23/2012

—timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 3:17 PM 06/23/2012 —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: EB1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: socool.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk2.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk3.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: boringasfuckselfie.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: EquallyBoring.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose2.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose3.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose4.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose5.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose6.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/GG1.txt —

TT: There’s everything Rose and I have been able to scrounge up between the two of us, plus gardenGnostic’s last conversation with him.

TT: She was the last person to talk to him.

TT: EB and GG are both going to see if they have any other logs saved with him. I can send them to you, or they can send them directly.

TT: They might have more than me or Rose. They’ve both known Dave since he was ten, apparently.

GC: 4LR1GHT

GC: G1V3 M3 4 B1T TO R34D THROUGH TH3S3

GC: 1M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO H4V3 MY COMPUT3R GUY GO 1NTO YOUR 4CCOUNTS TO V3R1FY TH4T TH3S3 4R3 L3G1T

TT: That’s fine.

TT: I mean, I can’t speak for GG or EB, but I don’t have a problem with it.

TT: Are you going to be able to get at the existing police files on him?

TT: This whole business with the old man meant that we couldn’t get the police to take any of this stuff when it was going on. They just said that there was nothing they could do.

TT: Out of their hands, they said.

TT: And apparently the people whose hands it was in didn’t particularly care about Dave’s involvement.

GC: Y34H, MOST OF TH3 TROLLS UP 4T TH3 TOP WH3N 1T COM3S TO 1NT3RSP3C13S CR1M1N4L PROC33D1NGS DONT R34LLY G3T YOUR W31RD HUM4N F4M1LY UN1TS

GC: OR HOW S3R1OUSLY YOU GUYS T4K3 PROT3CT1NG YOUR YOUNG

GC: 1 M34N 1 DONT R34LLY G3T 1T 31TH3R

GC: 1T DO3SNT M4K3 MUCH S3NS3 TO M3

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 K33P 1N M1ND TH4T 1T 1S 4CTU4LLY 4 TH1NG

GC: 1 M34N G33Z

GC: SOM3ON3 H3R3 N33DS TO B3 CULTUR4LLY S3NS1T1V3

GC: 4LL JOK1NG 4SID3

GC: DONT YOU WORRY 1 W1LL F1ND 4 W4Y TO G3T 4T THOS3 F1L3S WH3TH3R TH3 H1GH3R UPS W4NT M3 TO OR NOT >:]

TT: Sounds like the legends are true, then.

GC: L3G3NDS?

TT: Word on the street is that you’re something of a bloodhound.

TT: That you don’t give up on a case you’ve taken, no matter how little you have to work with or how bad it gets.

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

TT: That’s why I brought this to you.

TT: Everyone else has given up on Dave, it seems.

TT: You’re the best hope we’ve got of finding him, at this point. Thank you for that, by the way.

GC: 1 M34N

GC: DONT G3T M3 WRONG, YOU BROUGHT M3 1NTO TH1S FOR A SP3C1F1C PURPOS3 4ND 1 1NT3ND TO S33 TH4T PURPOS3 THROUGH

GC: BUT MY PR1M4RY GO4L H3R3 IS TO G3T MY B1G BR34K

GC: TH1S 1S 4 R34LLY GOOD 4NGL3 TO H4V3 ON TH3 STR1D3R C4SE

GC: 4ND 1 4M CR4CK1NG 1T OP3N 4ND M4K1NG MY M4RK

TT: Yeah, I know.

TT: I’m not under any sort of illusions here. You’ve got your own ulterior motives for taking this case, especially considering we’re basically paying you on the combined allowances of two literal children.

TT: That doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the first person outside our family to put serious effort into finding Dave in a long time.

TT: Ulterior motives or not,

TT: That’s a really big deal to us.

TT: So, again: Thank you.

GC: >:]

GC: 4LR1GHT TH4TS 3NOUGH B31NG S4PPY

GC: 1 GOT 4 JOB TO DO

GC: 1 W1LL TRY TO K33P YOU POSTED

— gallowsCallibrator [GC] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT] —

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #rose lalonde #jade harley #longpost #john egbert #terezi pyrope #fanfic #fanfiction #calmvsstormfic #calmvsstormchapter #katt does a writing #im not gonna tag every chapter as davekat im gonna save that tag for when its actually relevant from here on out #ok but why have i never written dave before now its so much fun?? he just #RAMBLES

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deansleatherj-acket-blog · 8 years ago

Text

FBI Partners // au fanfic, part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: You and Dean are FBI partners and are known for your clever tactics as a team. Although you maintain a professional relationship, you both still have a strong bond from the many years of working together. However, a new case triggers new feelings that neither of you expected to face.

Warnings: swearing, some violent scenes and the description of crime scenes.

The whole car ride consisted of you and Dean blasting AC/DC on full volume until he pulled up beside his apartment block. The first thing you did when you entered his apartment was collapse on his surprisingly comfortable couch and absorb the strong manly smell that was still present in the room. You kicked off your heels and opened up a folder, skimming over the evidence but was distracted by Dean entering the room with his shirt sleeves roughly rolled up and his top buttons undone.

“Chinese or Pizza?” he questioned, completely oblivious to your fixed stare. “Chinese,” you said, clearing your throat. Dean began to enter the number into his phone whilst replying, “Good choice,”

30 minutes later

The Chinese had arrived and you and Dean began making steady progress into your research. “The time frames all match up and as far as we know he has no alibi, we just need to get that footage of him at the crime scene and then we’ll know for sure if he’s our guy.” Dean stated, clearly impressed with the work you’d both done.

“Wait, play that again.” you exclaimed, causing Dean to rewind the security footage. “There, stop,” you pointed towards the shadowy figure that was seen to be entering the premises through the side entrance. “He’s definitely our guy,” you continued. “Looks like we need to track him down.”

Dean nodded in understanding, “We can talk to forensics in the morning and see what they’ve got. Good work.”

“What would you do without me?” you winked, making your way towards his fridge in the search of some much needed alcohol. “Want a beer?” you asked, turning to face Dean who was still reviewing case files. “I thought you’d never ask,” he called from the couch.

You returned to the room and handed him his beer, receiving a mumbled thanks. To your surprise, he shut the laptop and leaned back into the couch, sighing heavily.

“Had enough already?” you questioned, taking a seat next to him and tucking your legs up onto the couch. “Don’t see you doing anymore work.” he remarked, leaning his head back before gulping down his beer and closing his eyes tiredly. “Touché.” you noted, making yourself comfortable next to him and knowing that the chances of you doing any more work for the night was highly unlikely.

You glanced at your watch and after realising that it was already nearly half 11 and began to wonder how you were going to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. “Dean, uh, it’s getting kinda late.” you hinted, hoping that he would catch on and offer to drive you back home.

Dean rubbed his sleep deprived eyes and sat up, turning to look at you. “You might as well crash here for the night.” he said, walking into the kitchen to get you both another beer.

You thought about it for a moment but decided against it, even though you’d stayed round Dean’s many times before and this offer wasn’t out of the ordinary. “Nah, I have to get up early tomorrow, just drop me off later.” you responded, placing your empty beer onto the table and taking the new one Dean handed you.

“Well at least change into something more comfortable.” he suggested, gesturing for you to follow him into his bedroom. You perched yourself on the edge of his bed and waited for Dean to hand you one of his t-shirts.

Whilst doing so, you took in the familiar surroundings and smiled sweetly at the picture of him and his mom that rested on his bedside table. Even though you have been friends with Dean for four years, he rarely spoke about his family and from what you could tell the situation was fairly complicated.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she,” your thoughts were interrupted by Dean’s announcement, causing you to turn around to face him. “Yeah, she is.” you replied, noticing the bothered expression that was evident on Dean’s face, however he quickly changed the subject by handing you his t-shirt.

“Thanks Dean.” you answered, grabbing the shirt and making your way to his bathroom. You quickly unzipped your dress, shrugging it off your body and replaced it with Dean’s oversized white t-shirt. You smiled to yourself, inhaling the strong scent that could only be described as Dean and exited the bathroom, stopping in your tracks when you were greeted with the sight of Dean’s shirtless body.

“Damn, someone’s been working out.” you observed, taking in his muscular, defined shoulders, that you’d sometimes find yourself wanting to touch. Dean threw a pillow at you and whilst laughing replied: “Slow down Y/N, at least buy me a drink first,”

You shook your head at his arrogance, savouring the last few moments of seeing his bare torso as he put on a black t-shirt. “So did you call that ‘girl’ from last night?” you called from behind as you both made your way back into the living room, a hint of smugness present in your voice because you knew that he didn’t even get her full name let alone her number.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” he replied, taking a seat on the couch once again and causing you to smile in triumph. “So, how’s your love life going seeing as you're so interested in mine?” he questioned, watching you take a seat next to him and resume drinking the rest of your beer.

You tucked your messy hair behind your ears trying to think of ways to make your non existent love life seem less pathetic that it really was. “I mean it’s kind of hard to pick a guy when I have so many options lined up.” you answered, your voice dripping in sarcasm. Both of you knew that a love life was the least of your priorities as your work took up most of your time.

*Dean’s POV*

Trying to pay attention to what she was actually saying was proving to be difficult when all you could focus on was the way she looked so perfect with her hair messily scrapped up and your t-shirt hanging off her shoulders. You couldn’t understand how she was still single and even though you’ve thought of the possibility of you being together, You knew that she was too good for you. You could never be the man that she deserved.

“I saw that Samuels guy eyeing you up earlier today,” you hinted, interested to see her reaction and taking the last sip of your beer. A surprised look crept on her face; however it was quickly replaced with a slight grimace as she replied “100 bucks says that guy is still a virgin,” you laughed, feeling oddly satisfied at her immediate rejection of the idea.

Seeing your empty beer bottle on the table, Y/N stood up and made her way to the kitchen, opening your fridge in search for some more. As she reached up on her tip toes, the t-shirt rode up, exposing the outline of her ass, making you shift in your seat.

“Looks like I’m not the only one thats been working out at the gym,” you said, making her turn around quickly and pull down her shirt, blushing slightly. “You’re lucky I’ve had a few drinks.” she replied, the alcohol clearly making her more confident as she made her way over to the couch, placing the fresh beers on the table.

An hour later

You and Y/N had now been reduced to an intoxicated mess and found yourselves doubled over in laughter about random things that came to mind.

“So Dean,” she began, yawning and stretching herself out on the couch, her legs resting on your lap. “Tell me something.” she continued, leaning in to the side of the couch and looking up at you expectingly.

You chucked at her sudden boldness, “Wow, you really are drunk,” you said but was unable to say no to her sleepy face. “Ok, well what do you want me to tell you?

“Anything.” she responded, her eyelids heavy. “Do you want kids?”

Her request caught you off guard as you’ve never found yourself thinking about the idea of having kids before. “Never really thought about it, maybe one day though, you?” you replied, realising that you had been unconsciously tracing circles on her legs, that were still positioned on your lap.

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes lighting up at the idea. “I’ve thought about it occasionally, always liked the name Erin for a girl.” she uttered, nuzzling into the couch and allowing her eye lids to shut.

“I take it your staying here tonight,” you said, noticing her tired state. “Mhm,” she mumbled in response, sleep slowly taking over her. Even though she looked peaceful on the couch, you couldn’t let her reside there for the night. So, you gently moved her legs and stood up from the couch. Hooking one arm around her legs and one behind her back, you lifted her from the couch, taking her to your bed and trying not to laugh at her sleepy state as she nuzzled her head into your chest.

You placed her onto the bed, careful not to wake her and pulled the covers over her, brushing the hair away from her forehead. Whilst you was looking for a spare blanket and pillow in your closet, you heard Y/N stir in the bed before mumbling a soft “Goodnight Dean.”

“Night babe.” you replied, shutting the closet door and leaving the room. You made your way back into the living room, dimming the lights and making yourself comfortable on the couch. You laid there, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, drifting off to thoughts of Y/N.

*Y/N’s POV*

Uncertain of the reason why, you found yourself abruptly waking up in the middle of the night and craving a glass of water. Thankful for the light of the alarm clock on Dean’s bedside table, that flashed 4am, you trudged into the kitchen, careful to be quiet.

You poured yourself a glass of water, leaning against the counter but was distracted by Dean’s restless turning on the couch. Realising that he’d kicked his blanket off, you tiptoed to his sleeping figure, repositioning the blanket so that it covered his body once again.

You found yourself pausing to watch over Dean, soaking up the rare opportunity of seeing him at his most vulnerable state. His lips were slightly parted and his back muscles were fully relaxed as they moved up and down, in rhythm with his breathing. You smiled at the sight of his hair sticking up in all directions and extended your hand to his cheek, stroking the clean-shaven skin.

You slowly retracted your hand from his cheek and gave him one last look before grabbing your cup of water and taking it back to bed. Even though your mind was busy with thoughts of Dean, you quickly fell back into a deep sleep, comforted by the surrounding smell of him that lingered in the room.

It turned out to be harder than expected when you tried to get Dean awake and off the couch, realising that you both needed to be at work in less that an hour.

“Get up Dean.” you groaned, trying to pull him by his arm to which he answered with a low “five more minutes.” slumping back onto the couch to his previous position and closing his eyes once more.

A while later, you were both dressed and ready to leave; however you made him stop at your apartment on the way to work so you could freshen up and make yourself seem a little more presentable.

Getting out the impala once having pulled into parking lot proved to be an interesting experience. You were greeted with many curious looks given by agents, who most probably thought that you had hooked up the night before. You scoffed at their imaginations and how they quickly looked away once Dean shot them a hard glare.

“Did we just land back in high school?” Dean muttered lowly, just so you could hear and placed his hand on your lower back, leading you through the doors and onto the office floor.

You laughed but was interrupted by Charlie, a fellow work colleague, calling you over to her desk. “Give me a minute.” you said to Dean, who nodded in reply and carried on walking.

“So, you and Dean then,” Charlie teased, nodding her head over to Dean who was now making conversation with Matthews. “Oh not you as well,” you said, occasionally darting glances at Dean, over your shoulder.

You were snapped back to reality by Charlie clicking her fingers in front of your face. “Sorry, what did you say?” you stammered, slightly embarrassed at the fact that she just caught you staring at Dean.

“I didn’t say anything. And I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just see you checking out Dean from afar.” she gloated, a grin present on her face. You clicked your tongue and shied away, knowing that you probably looked extremely flustered. It was hopeless trying to lie to Charlie, knowing that she could read you so easily.

“50 bucks says you guys get together before the end of the month.” she called from behind you, laughing uncontrollably. Your mouth fell open in shock and you abruptly turned away, expressing a mix of anger and disbelief, quickly scurrying away before people noticed who she was talking to.

Luckily, Dean has been in deep conversation with Matthews and therefore had not heard any of Charlie’s ridiculous taunts. “What did Charlie want?” he asked obliviously, his eyes focused on the file he was holding.

“Just asked how i was. Whatcha got there?” you said, leaning over his chair and scanning over the information. “Just one of the witness statements.” he answered, his emerald eyes finally looking up to meet yours.

“Mind if I have a look?” you asked, curious to get a better look at the new information and was instantly greeted with Dean handing you the folder.

Dealing with the witness part of any investigation was always the most difficult, along with confronting the victims families. However, over the years, you’ve learnt to stay composed in these situations and it definitely helped working with Dean due to his calm manner that instantly made you feel calm.

Your inspection of the witness files was abruptly cut short by Hunter stating, “Y/S/N, Winchester, inspection room, now. We have a suspect and Matthews wants you to question him first.” You and Dean both looked at each other, slightly confused at how a suspect had already been secured but still both made your way quickly to the interrogation room.

“Ready?” Dean asked, straightening his tie. You nodded in response and took a deep breath before both entering the room.

A man, roughly in his 30s, sat at the desk, slouched back in his chair and handcuffed to the table leg. He was unshaven and had an overall scruffy appearance. His beady eyes looked you up and down, making you feel incredibly uneasy; however you kept a straight face, unwilling to show any signs of weakness to the very man who may have mutilated the poor women.

Dean sat down first, maintaining a cold stare on the suspect opposite as you made your way next to him. However, before you could turn on the recorder, the suspect let out a long wolf whistle.

"Well, I didn’t know the FBI hired women as sexy as you,” he croaked, licking his lips, causing you to grimace in disgust.

“What did you just say to her?” Dean boomed, his chair scraping against the concrete floor as he stood up and leaned over the table, towering over this mans slouched appearance.

You were pretty shocked at this display of anger as Dean rarely lost his temper, not in front of you anyway. The suspect however did not feel threatened by Dean in the slightest and instead began to repeat what he’d said, “I said, I didn’t know-” but was cut off by Dean reaching over the table and violently grabbing him by the collar so that he was just inches away from the suspects face.

“Say one more fucking thing about my partner and I’ll make sure you don’t see the outside of a prison cell ever again.” he threatened, gritting his teeth in an attempt to contain his anger. The suspect paused for a second before nodding his head in understanding. Dean then released his harsh grip and settled back into his seat.

You briefly looked at Dean and was glad to see him begin to calm down. You were shocked at his outburst but couldn’t deny the immediate adoration you felt for him, especially now that he had just stuck up for you.

Pushing your feelings aside, you reached to turn on the recorder and introduced the interview by stating the date and time.

“So, Micheal Davidson.” you said, reading from the sheet in front of you. “Cameras caught you walking around the warehouse on the 24th, the very warehouse where Leila Parker was murdered. Any reason as to why you were there?” you asked, refusing to falter under his uncomfortable stare.

“I was taking a walk.” he simply replied, shrugging his shoulders, almost as if he seemed bored with the situation.

“Taking a walk at... 2:30am?” Dean asked, glancing at his sheet, clearly seeing through the bullshit this suspect was trying to present as the truth. “I didn’t know it was against the law to take a walk at night.” he replied, thinking he was clever by playing the smart card.

“You think you’re being funny?” you spoke. placing your hands together and leaning forward. “You’re under federal investigation, so I suggest you stop with the bullshit and tell us what you were really doing there.” you finished, getting irritated at this low life’s attitude.

“I told you. I went out for a walk. And then I went home.” he stated, matter-of-factly. Damn, this guy was going to be hard to crack.

“Ok Mr Davidson. Then tell me what this is.” Dean said, sliding a print out of an SMS message to the suspect so that he could read it.

“Uh, it’s a message, saying that my dry cleaning should be available to collect next week.” he mentioned, his eyes quickly scanning the information. You squinted your eyes towards Dean, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

“Well luckily, we managed to get to the dry cleaners, before they washed your clothing. One of our agents spotted a strange stain on the shirt. A red stain.” he announced, refusing to break eye contact with the suspect who was now beginning to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Dean clasped his hands together, placing them on the desk. “We decided to have forensics run it over and cross match it with the victims DNA, and guess what” he asked, a small smirk forming on your face as you realised that he had finally caught the suspect off guard. “It matched.” he said, leaning back into his seat and waiting for him to attempt to reply.

“Well, see, I can expla-” he stuttered, panic clearly evident in his eyes after he found himself completely dumbfounded.

“Did you or did you not murder Leila Parker.” you shouted, slamming your hands on the table and standing up, finally having enough and wanting to get a straight answer from this guy once and for all.

“I didn’t do it.’ he exclaimed, his eyes filling with fear. You and Dean let out huge sighs as you both wondered how long this was going to take; however were surprised by the victim breaking the tense silence, “but I know who did.”

Part 3

#dean x reader #supernatural fanfiction #jensen ackles #dean winchester #dean one shot #dean imagines #sam winchester #jared padalecki #spnfamily #spn #dean fanfic #dean fanfiction

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britbrat95 · 5 years ago

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I was reminded of the woman who washed jesus' feet today. Its starting to happen more, these people who always step in when needed in a certain moment. As i said, this is a Chicago thing for me. Its crazy, and they say go where the miricles happen your probably meant to be there.(not meaning easy, trials happen but good follows) Some are angels, many are just nice people. I try to be this way myself and i know that there's usually somone to help when i need it so i find these more and more.

For example last week a homeless stranger asked me for a dollar, or a peice of gum because their sugar was down. I started to snub her then God said dont be cocky give her some money! You wont die really you wont. I never give money to homeless. Its not me. Smallest amount i had wss a ten. I thought oh boy ok. Of course this person was surprised, they knew it was hard. They kept thanking me. And i was on the way to my job interview. I wasnt going to pass the drug test. But they forgot to do it. God said you would have failed, so because you gave that money i made you get the job without a drug test. Cool stuff.

So this week started with that dude saying lgbt goes to hell. And he added that its great to be sober, not steal, lie, cheat, to try and help people, to not sleep around, ect. But you will will still go to hell it doesn't matter and your lukewarm. Ok sir, by that logic id be stupid to live good at all. If hell is enevivible then shouldn't i just use drugs wreckelessly,sleep with every guy, cheat, lie, steal, and do whatever? Why even try to do better? No point.

I later was thinking he does drugs himself as a tweaker knows a tweaker. Hes questionable, and even coming out of a car reaking of weed and alcohol with people half his age. I'm sorry that didn't sit well with me. Horrible example for young people he is. Harder drugs though, he ain't honest, he's not 4 years sober, i don't believe it. The point is pharisees hide their sins but they do worse than they accuse of. That aside, as the night progressed things happened. Theres nothing more hurtful than you doing your best yet people mention the bad only. I was proud, a job, bills payed for the month, went grocery shopping for second time this month, ect. Those seem small yet they are great to me. Antonio and i had a fight. He was a dick, i was mouthy, people were instigating so after that it was over we thought. Worked it out like adults so now happy. Wasnt so hard.

So the lady whom i love so dearly. I met her first about 2 weeks ago. I came to this property. Ever have somone be so nice you think they are being sarcastic and insulting you? In Chicago we assume nice means it's a scam, but nice people exist. I just wasnt paying no mind really. She said she fogot her door code and asked if i could use mine. And she literally was stoked over it. She hugged me and said you answered my prayer your a life saver thank you so much! Mind you this was the day i overdosed. I wasn't feeling to great but she was refreshing. I thought, nah she's just mocking me cuz I'm high. Walked in and didnt see again her till this morning.

So knowing yesturday was rough i was crying and telling god my heart. And he answered so promtly. I walked into a bathroom as i had a schizo moment most would laugh at. Nothing so delusional, just bursting into laughter randomly, talking to angels, addressing things and being emotional kinda crying about things. Looked like a multi personality pshycopath or something. As i came out she pops out of NO WHERE! Are you ok? I thought, oh crap. This is embarrassing. I laughed it off and said not really but itll be ok. But i assumed she was being sarcastic. Like "Umm you ok? You need a mental doctor?" No she legit cared. And moments later she said im going to give you a massage. At first i thought huh? Then i thought, that's humbling. YES a massage is great please. A few minutes later she comes back with lotions and says "i know you! You saved me that day!" I still dont know how opening the door was so awesome but I'm glad she was happy.

So she gave my full body massage and it was wonderful. I didnt realize it was what i needed. So simple yet so perfect. We had a nice talk. Nobody likes being crazy. And when you have somone acknowledge your gifts as not crazy you feel happy. Especially coming from a far more sane sounding person. She mentioned her spiritual experiences. I shared some of mine. Somehow i ended up telling a bit more than i intended to yet i felt so comfortable around her. She mentioned how people won't get it but it's ok you can be active in your gifts and let people say things. Shes from portorico but her engilsh was fluent. She used words i rarely hear from most people and i thought, shes onto it, this lady knows her stuff.

It gets better. Sometimes the simplest thing said makes us cry as it touches that deep. "You have a great spirit you are so tender so fluid and you are clearly misunderstood. You can do much." She went on. But the thing that made me break into tears. She took my hands, she pulled back my hair, she looked in my eyes and said "your beautiful. You look like an angel. You have a glow and you look so angelic." I said thats the nicest thing anybody has said in so long and cried. And after she finished she said ill be seeing you soon. I was speechless. Been speechless ever since. I even started vibrating, which only happens when I'm having a high spiritual encounter. I love days like this i really do.

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kawaiifunhologram-blog · 6 years ago

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Dade City Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 33526

"Dade City Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 33526

Dade City Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 33526

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I need insurance just on me, I live in Florida, 23 man & only wanna cover myself not car or anything else.. I want the cheapest insurance!! What company would be the cheapest!! Hint never been in a crash or ticketed""

How can you find out a property owner's insurance company?

Can you sue the owner for violent acts of a minor who lives on their property as well as the violent act physically occuring on their property? My daughter was jumped from behind and beat violently in the head. The girl recieved a ticket yet my daughter had to go to the hospital. Now she is afraid to go to school. The attacker is in her class.

Car insurance for husband and wife.?

Recently I went to insure my daughter and her car in the company me and my wife have been insured for some time. I wanted to include myself in her insurance but it went up in premiums a lot and we decided to insure her without me as an additional driver. Before that (last year to be exact) I insured my wife and I was included as a second driver. Basically, I was advised to do so on the basis that it would be cheaper. I heard about this option before and therefore did not check it properly with this company. This time (with my daughter) this option went an opposite way with higher premiums, so I asked them whether I can exclude myself from my wife's insurance as well because my insurance allows me to drive any car, but was told: ...because you are husband and wife, by law you cannot drive her car without being included in her insurance policy whatsoever... I am suspicious about this statement now and feel that I am being cheated. Does anybody know whether this rule exist or is it just the usual salesmen lie? Thank you.""

How much does a root canal cost with insurance?

I do not have insurance right now. I went to the dentist's office recently and was informed that I have two wisdom teeth grown in. I have a job that offers dental insurance but I have to wait 3 more months to receive this benefit. I don't know if I should wait a few more months and pay less to get my wisdom teeth removed or if I should get it treated now and pay over $2,000 for 2 root canals and make a monthly payment of $200 for 12 months. How much would I save and pay if I were to get 2 root canals with dental insurance?""

Do you get cheaper insurance if you drive less miles to school?

if i lie and tell them i drive barely any miles to school would it be cheaper? its 87 a month right now but imma tell them scool is like a 2 mile drive

Got into an accident will my insurance cover repairs or not?

I got into an accident today. No other car was involved. I lost control of my car and it spun twice and hit the side of the interstate. The officer didn't write me a ticket and marked it as an incident not an accident. I told him my windows fogged up and I hit a puddle of water. Im covered under full insurance. Will all costs be covered? How much do you think my insurance will go up?

Are there any good Websites about Insurance ?

For someone who is newbie in Insurance , Also if it contains cases and Q&A it would be best Does anyone know any ???""

How does getting a new state license affect your car insurance?

I have a TN driver license. I have a couple of violations on it. I just moved to SC, and I am going to get a SC driver license. I am going to be buying car insurance soon. When they look up my record off of my new SC driver license, will the violation/accident from my TN driver license show?""

Dade City Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 33526

A question about car insurance and modifying?

Okay, lets say you own a car, lets call this car A. You pay a car insurance company to insure you car. You hand over the required information and all that, and the car is stock when you insured it. Lets say you put a turbo, or intercooler, or new rims, or anything really, but you DONT mention it to the insurance company. Then you get into a car crash. What does the insurance company insure? The whole car with the non-insured parts? The whole car with only the stock parts (which was exactly what you payed for every month)? Or they insure nothing?""

""I bought a car off the lot, and two days later on my way to get insurance I got in an accident (my fault)?

In california isn't there a law that states you have to have insurance before u leave the lot?

""Which is worse: increased taxes, or a high insurance premium?""

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/health/2009-09-15-insurance-costs_N.htm for some reason, I'd pay any tax to fund socialized medicine thrown my way rather than pay $13,375 a year for a family of four. and you'd be crazy not to yourself. and besides...the tax would never be 4,824, which is the average a single person pays per year.""

Does your car insurance premium rise after a heart attack(UK)?

my parents are wondering what happens after you have been discharged from hospital, and the 4 weeks or so passes, will the premium for domestic car insurance rise or stay same or what? anyone know ?thanks""

What is the best insurance for a teen?

i need car insurance and health insurance but still not sure which is better. If this helps i just graduated and live in arizona and have a yukon

Car insurance help?!?!?

Im 16 I own a 1991 Mercedes Benz 300se. About 180,000 miles how much would insurance be for me monthly/annually?""

Car insurance?

Car insurance? Question. My boyfriend was driving my car... and my insurance is just liability insurance...My boyfriend does not have insurance. He was pulled over and given a speeding ticket. It says on the paper attached that if he did not show proof of insurance he would need to send that in with the ticket.. the cop did not ask for proof of insurance.. and also on the ticket... it says financial responsibility shown? and the office marked YES..... does that mean he lucked out this time

How much would car insurance be for a Dodge Charger?

If I had a 3.0 average and no accidents,tickets, or other outstanding finds and i was only sixteen, how much Would the insurance be?""

If you have AAA auto insurance?

Have you received a rebate? I am thinking of changing my auto and home insurance to them. They are not much cheaper than my current provider so I was reluctant to change, especially my home owners as I have heard it is not wise to switch home owners insurance in California. Anyway, the guy at AAA said they give back a rebate at the end of each year for 5%-7% of your policy cost if you do not have any tickets or accidents. I have searched to see if this is in fact true or if it is something they use to get you to sign up and then for some reason not qualify for it. Just wondering if anyone who has the insurance has got a rebate before or if anyone has heard of this? Thanks""

Motorcycle insurance on a 17 year old.?

i'm 17 years old and planning on gettin a sportbike. i was wonderin how much full coverage cost for a suzuki gsr 600.

Does anyone know exactly what Car Insurance Quote is?

I just can't find the right answer on Google. Please help me if u know...This is really urgent...Thanks a lot.

""How much do you spend on car expenses (gas, insurance, etc.) every month?""

So I'm thinking of getting a car and just wondering how much just as an average estimate it costs people every month when you add car payments, gas, insurance, and whatever else like carwashes and oil changes. I know it's different for everybody...how much for you?""

If you buy a car in full do you need to have collision coverage in your car insurance?

If you buy the car in full (pay for the car at once, not lease or financed) do you need to have collision coverage? If I get into an accident with somebody, wouldn't the other person's insurance pay for my car's damage? I'm planning to buy a used car for $17000 (paying in full) should I get collision coverage? also somebody explain Liability and full coverage for me (I guess full coverage is selecting every coverage when you lease for finance your car).""

Is proof of insurance need to transfer title?

My parents are transferring the title over to me, however I do not have insurance at the time. The registration renewal isn't due yet. I don't know if that plays any part. We live in california.""

Home owner insurance in florida?

I need to by home owner insurance in florida at a reasonable price. and I need insuracnce this month

How much does health care insurance cost in America?

Im planning on moving to America with my 2 children to live with my boyfriend, can anyone tell me how much health insurance costs?""

Is insure 24 ltd a legit company?

I recently was offered a job with this company out in the UK called insure 24 limited and don't know whether they are legit or a scam... I just need extra insight before i go any further - also they don't use a free subscription email address which is also another reason why i'm thinking they are real.

Go doctor's without insurance?

i haven't been feeling well and i think it's about time i have a check up at a clinic....im interested in a walk in clinic that's not to expensive because my insurance does not work here. anyone know any good clinics around buena park, california???""

Is this a new car insurance con?

Just tried to get car insurance through that confusing website. We chose the cheapest one and when we went to pay for it, the swines said error phone this number bla bla bla . So we phone up and they add another 35 onto the quoted price. Of course we said on your nelly . Is this a typical con? Have you experienced that?""

Who sells the cheapest auto insurance online? Thank you in advance.?

What probably are the causes for increasing health insurance rates?

Is it due to inflation, lowering standards of medical care, insufficient government control, deteriorating human health, environmental degradation or other factors?""

Which car insurance company provides the best rates to young teens (16-22)?

i mean best car insurance quotes

Car insurance for 17 year old?

im 17 and have looked nearly all the comparison sites for car insurance and theyre all coming with prices like 3000-6000. and the car is just a fiat punto a 1242cc.i know it was going to be expensive but i have been reading that people have been getting insures for like 1200 who are 17 aswell. could it be the car make or should i look for a really small car like a vauxhall corsa.

Are annuities good for young people?

Does anyone know if annuiites are good for young people, like in their late 20's. Starting a family and reading about many investment options. It seems like we've only heard about annuities for older or almost retired people, but with new prods that guarantee 7% yearly if your investments don't make that much...seems it's not a bad thing to add to a portfolio.""

Is the health insurance paid to lay off employee taxable?

If a company paid it's terminated employee a 6 month health insurance coverage, does this health insurance insurance payment taxable?""

Dade City Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 33526

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/willcox-arizona-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-85644-james-collins/"

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chronicsquiggle-blog · 7 years ago

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Hi There!

So, I’m new here. As you can tell. Probably.

So I’m the ChronicSquggle, I’m an artist and animator and incase you can’t tell from my URL I am person with a chronic illness. Born with it infact. But you wouldn’t be able to tell if you first met me, because it kind of hides. you can see the scars though.

Anyway, I kinda read this thing off Facebook today that had a list of things you have to deal with as a person with a chronic illness, and it kind of made me realize that there isn’t really anything for people who had to grow up with this. no support groups or just, like a page where you can bitch or share what you had to go through and give advice. Ok I didn’t actually go through the internet and check this, but from what I’v seen the only thing we have is photos on Facebook where we’re in surgery or about to and and people giving us ‘likes’ and sending us prayers. But apart from that we don’t really exist unless we’re famous after somehow making it through an adolescence where people are either treating us like glass or thinking we’re faking it. Like a lot of people did with me.

So for all the Tophs out there who are struggling through their teenage years or just getting out of the bubble their parents kept them in before becoming an adult and suddenly facing a lot of struggle. This blog is for us. Message me, or follow me or whatever you want to. I’m not going to be posting much, because I have a full time job and I’ll probably just post things as I either find them or think of them. But if you’re struggling and you don’t have anyone to talk to or no one who really understands, I’m here to talk to. Tell me what you grew up with and what is bothering you, and I’ll answer. I might not answer immediately, but I will. And if you’re too shy to, then maybe me telling mine will help. So I have a heart problem that I can barely pronounce. A very, VERY rare one. If my ilness was an animal, he would be the animal who’s the last of its kind and no one has even heard of. Because of it I have been lied to by my parents when i wanted to do anything that involved exercise as a kid, because when the doctor said I shouldn’t do sports, they went and sat down and though: ‘Oh okay so that means no exercise AT ALL.‘ so for instance when i wanted to do karate, and I begged my mom to ask my doc if I could, she, instead of asking, just told me he said no. I only realized this three years ago after I had had another surgery and I asked him if it was okay if I did karate and his response was ‘Oh yes I’d be so happy if you did.‘

I was also very alone in high school and everyone thought I was either faking it to get out of doing PE or just for attention. Or that I was just lazy. Like my friends thought, when I’d take four steps and be out of breath. Um, the first GP I went to alone thought I must be mistaken when I told him, and that I should talk to my doctor again, because I am way to young to have a heart problem.

Okay this post is way too long now. So I’m going to cut off here. Those are just like a few things and i know its not that bad, and that there are worse, but thats my point, there are a lot of us who are scared and don’t really even understand why we’re being treated like this and we need someone to talk to and I know I’m no psychiatrist, but talking to someone going through similar stuff always helps. So yeah. talk to me, whether its to bitch or if you just need someone to understand, or just need some advice. Or want to know about good music that’ll help you.

TL;DR, I have a chronic ilness. If you have one and need someone to talk to, message me

For those who stuck it Out, here’s a picture of a puppy

#ilness #puppy #help #animals #hi there #chronically ill

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holycrabsauce · 7 years ago

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(warning: super duper messed up english, i wrote this at 2 am in 24th January so i was sleepy af when i wrote this so it’s a mess and i saved it in my draft and now y’all can see it, so i hope you don’t mind with whatever english words and sentences that i typed in this post)

so. guess who turned 20 today ? this bitch.

here i am eating some chicken and fries alone in my apartment billion miles away from home

20 years i’ve been through some weird ass crazy stuff but hey guess what ? i’m still here so maybe the world is not as shitty as i thought i guess

ain’t gonna lie, life hasn’t been pretty nice to me in this past 20 years lmaooo but hey, i do learned something from it tho so, it’s a win win situation right ?

when i was 4 i learned that you can’t actually fly and how do i know this ? well it’s stupid and hilarious at the same time, i was in kindergarten and i was just hanging out at the swings and my friend pushed it for me, so the swings were getting high and my smart ass 4 year old self thinks that ‘oh, maybe if i let my hand go from the swings, i can fly’ and yup there she goes! Nothing serious happens beside a bruised back and chin and i’m pretty sure i sort of dislocated my jaw but in some weird ass way i fixed it back (ain’t gonna lie tho i think it’s still effect me till now because if i sleep in the wrong position my jaw kinda hurts a bit which is kinda fucked up but hey at least i learned something right ? lol)

when i was 7 i learned that you can’t always expect your parents to be there for you everytime. I’m a pretty shy kid at school and i always want my parents to be there with me (god that’s embarrassing) and thats the moment that i realized that ‘holy shit is this what being an adult feels like ?’ Lol it doesn’t even make sense now that i read it but my stupid ass 7 year old self think that it all makes sense.

When i was 10 i learned that boys can like boys and girls can like girls too. Okay, this topic is gonna be batshit serious real quick. when i saw a gay kissing scene in a movie for the first time it was actually kinda hilarious, you know when some people watched a gay couple in movies or tv shows for the first time their reaction was probably either shocked or feel kinda weirded out about it. Well my first thought was ‘wait ? Guys can like guys too ? Does that mean girls can like girls too ? That’s interesting’

12, the age that i realized that not all people died a happy ending. So i was watching the news and there’s this guy who got death sentence and i thought ‘wow, you can die like that ?’ Honestly, sometimes i always wondered if some people just destined to die in a sad/tragic way no matter how happy they are with their lives, which i think is fuckin sad, like whats the point of living if you die anyway ? Ok now this just took a dark turn real quick so let’s change the subject while we’re at it.

14… probably one of the saddest years of my life. My parents officially got divorced, i was actually expect it to happen at one point, so it doesn’t really affect me that much, which i know that’s kinda fucked up. It does affect my brother more though, now looking back, i wish i could’ve done something you know ? Like always be there for him and actually act like an older sister. I’m pretty surprised that my brother feels sad about the divorce, i mean i feel sad too but at the same time i feel kinda relieved too you know ? What’s the point of marriage if you never gave a shit about each other in the first place ?

ain’t gonna lie when i was 17 it was probably the most useless year in my life, basically i just graduated from high school and i decided to take a gap year before going to college and man oh man what a ride. It was a pretty sweet year because i slept a lot and it’s probably the only great thing that i’ve done lmao.

it’s also the age where i realized that its okay to leave someone who’s bringing toxic into your life, even though it’s hard to let it go but you gotta do what you gotta do you know ?

18, the age where i cried while showering for 30 straight minutes because i’m scared of becoming an adult but also really starting to questions everything about love ? ok this is gonna be fuckin hilarious because love is the one conversation that i rarely have with anyone. if my friends asks me stuff like ‘hey sonia ? have you ever had a boyfriend ?’ or ‘are you liking someone ?’ i just kinda laughed it off because let’s be real i can’t even take care of my own shit let alone have a boyfriend ? and honestly if there’s an actual dude that wants to be with me i would laugh so hard and be like ‘haha that’s hilarious buddy’. But let me just tell you why this is kinda one of the reason why this topic kinda affected 18 year old me back then.

so basically my aunt is desperately looking for a husband and it’s not that easy to find the ‘perfect’ man for her, my mom told me that she knows someone, but she told me that my aunt is pretty picky about choosing a dude, and my mom was like ’she will never find a husband if she’s always so picky’ but the point of this story for me is basically ‘do people nowadays get married not because they loved each other ?�� like seriously, everytime i have this kind of conversation with my mom she always made it like true love doesn’t really exist anymore. And honestly it kinda makes me sad, you know what ? nope, it makes me sad, like a shit ton of sad lmao that doesn’t even make any sense. So my true love out there ? are you even exist ?????? AHAHAHA yup this is the part where i need to stop, see ? this is why i never speak about love because random shit just came out of my mind

19…….. bloody hell, where do i even begin with 19 years old sonia ? this is probably the age where a shit ton of stuff happens. like i could legit make a post about 19 year old me alone, but trust me, that won’t be necessary. Let me just give you a recap

It’s the age where i graduated from college, unemployed for a couple of months, considering on owning a strip club at my hometown (don’t ask why), almost hiring a private investigator to follow my brother, considering on selling my kidney because i’m broke as fuck, so yeah… it’s pretty fuckin wild ain’t gonna lie. But also the year where i got the chance to visit Japan for the first time so… worth it!! lmao

okay Sonia, is there anything you want to do now that you’re 20 ?

well, tbh, it would be kinda nice to study again, which is wild considering how much i hate school but i want to travel, i want to learn, and to be honest it would be nice to actually go to school in other countries like becoming an exchange student, learning new culture, meeting new friends, but let’s be real, it’s not easy and i really desperately kinda want to learn again, my last college wasn’t really a college ? and everytime my friends told me about their college experiences sometimes kinda makes me wonder if maybe i just missed being young again… LMAO now i sound like a woman in her 40s who just got divorced and wishing she could have a younger boyfriend (so basically my mom ? lmao jk love you madre)

well sonia, what did you learn at 20 ?

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