#kind of the most tom and jerry ass relationship <3< /div>
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was scrolling through the divorceverse tag and saw the name typhoid fever and immediately thought "oh is that ty (iamty) and took me a good few minutes to realize that I am a fool and completely wrong
no no although that's a fair enough assumption bc iirc i said that originally schlatt tried to guilt jordan into keeping the name typhoid fever bc ty was OBVIOUSLY named after his godfather (iamty), how DARE you take that away from him,
#muse talk#anon#divorceverse#adam's middle name IS ty. jordan made schlatt promise it was ACTUALLY for ty but he didn't see schlatt crossing his fingers behind his back#kind of the most tom and jerry ass relationship <3
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In which I try to convince another person to watch Parks and Rec
In a recent hangout, @elizabethminkel, @imaginarycircus, and I were trying to convince @flourish to watch Parks and Recreation. I made the argument that if they like Star Trek: Voyager they will like Parks & Rec. So Flourish agreed that if I made a post laying out my Parks & Rec is Star Trek Voyager in sitcom form argument, they would move it up on their watch list.
So Flourish, here you go...
KA’S GENERAL ADVICE TO STARTING PARKS & REC
Start with Season 2. You can go back and watch Season 1 later. It’s only 6 episodes and they were still getting the tone for Amy Poehler’s character just right. Starting in Season 2, all of Leslie Knope’s co-workers know she is good at her job no matter how out there they (for good reason) think she is.
Pawnee is a character. Kind of like how the Simpsons have all these secondary and tertiary characters that rotate through — so does Pawnee and the town as a character becomes a damn delight in watching the show. Treat yo’ self to this article on the fabulous murals in Pawnee City Hall. (For the record, my favorite Pawnee citizen is this man:
It’s more serialized than you expect a sitcom to be. You won’t be confused by the story no matter what episode you watch, but the real gold of Parks is watching it as serialized television with real arcs. Assume you’ll want to keep watching once you start.
MEET THE CREW
JANEWAY | Leslie Knope - Leslie Knope is the sitcom version of a young Janeway — kick ass, smart, hardworking, and ambitious. The Leslie you see in Season 7 is probably closer to the Janeway you see when Voyager begins. Both of these stories center on a woman leading, one at the beginning of her career and the other at the pinnacle of it (cause obviously Voyager made Janeway a damn legend). What they have in common all along the way is a literal crew. Janeway is in the wild, Wild West, without the bureaucracy of Star Fleet, and Leslie Knope is navigating the endless bureaucracy of local government. Both are rule followers until the rules fail to make sense; then they are willing to do anything to care for the people under their charge.
CHAKOTAY | Chris Traeger - They’re both in charge of things. They both principled characters who know what they believe. Often, they are both foils for other characters and they always come through.
TUVOK | Donna Meagle - Both bosses. Both totally who they are and if you don’t like it then that’s a you problem.
TOM PARIS | Tom Haverford - Obsessed with pop culture. Flirts. Got something to prove. Their stories veer in different directions, but they start in a similar place.
B’ELANNA TORRES | April Ludgate - Each woman is unique, but they were both young and savvy. Torres struggles with the two halves of who she is (Klingon/Human) and April, over the course of the series, struggles with apathy vs. earnestness. Like how Janeway gives Torres a shot as Chief Engineer, Leslie Knope will never give up on April and the show rewards the viewer with a great female-female mentorship.
DOCTOR | Ron Swanson - Iconic grumps who find people extremely irritating. The Doctor is a bit more naive than Ron, but both evolve into more than they could have ever imagined. The Doctor, like Ron, gets all the best one liners.
SEVEN | Ben Wyatt - He’s a ‘numbers robot’ and she’s Borg. Both begin their character arcs a little traumatized by their pasts and without real human relationships. Overtime, they become emotive, hopeful people who show they care by taking action often at a deep personal expense. (see what Ben Wyatt does in “The Trial of Leslie Knope”)
HARRY KIM | Ann Perkins - A really damn good friend and person, both of them. Both have terrible luck in romantic relationships for most of their respective series.
NEELIX | Andy Dwyer - Andy is funnier than Neelix and Neelix is smarter than Andy, but both have a tendency to drop a piece of wisdom when you least expect it.
JOE CAREY | Jerry Gergich - He’s there! He’s got a family! No one can quite remember his name.
KES | Mark Brendanawicz - Kes goes out as a alien beam of light; Mark will have a similar-ish fate.
SESKA | Tammy 2 - You will love Tammy 2. She is a sex-positive Seska — over everyone’s shit and completely insane.
THE BORG QUEEN | Eagleton - Pawnee’s rival town full of suburban automatons.
KA’S VERY SPECIFIC PITCH TO FLOURISH
First off, there’s that meme - “Be the Leslie Knope of whatever you do.” Janeway is the Leslie Knope of Star Fleet Captain. Trust me on this.
Second, I know you aren’t super into comedies, though you love Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Good Place. But hear me out…
Voyager is a sci-fi drama that is often the red-head step child of the Star Trek franchise because it isn’t dark and political like Deep Space Nine, philosophical like The Next Generation, etc. It had all the hallmarks of Star Trek — adventure, drama, an ethos of hope — etc, but it was also FUN.
Parks is a comedy — I won’t pretend it’s got the angst of a drama, but it is a comedy of IDEAS, a hallmark for any Mike Schur show. Where as The Good Place was about philosophy, Parks is about community. Voyager is about getting home; Parks and Rec is about making the place you call home better. Like Voyager, it takes people who owe nothing to each other and forms a community. Nothing will make you feel FEELINGS like the end of “End of the World” (Season 4, Episode 6) or the end of “The Trial of Leslie Knope” (Season 4, Episode 9), episodes where characters reach dramatic, but quiet life changing moments where they see the world differently than they did before. They change. I think that’s probably what I’m trying to say — Parks and Rec characters change and grow with as much narrative arch as any drama.
Watching that is a damn delight.
KA’S FAVORITE EPISODES BY SEASON
Season 1
“Rock Show” (Episode 6)
Season 2
“Hunting Trip” (Episode 10)
’94 Meetings” (Episode 21)
“Telethon” (Episode 22)
Season 3
“Flu Season” (Episode 2)
“Harvest Festival” (Episode 7)
“April & Andy’s Fancy Party” (Episode 9)
“Road Trip” (Episode 13)
“The Fight” (Episode 14)
Season 4
“The Treaty” (Episode 7)
“Smallest Park” (Episode 8)
“Win, Lose, or Draw” (Episode 22)
Season 5
“Halloween Surprise” (Episode 5)
“Leslie and Ben” (Episode 14)
Season 6
“The Cones of Dunshire” (Episode 9)
“Moving Up” (Episode 21 & 22)
Season 7
“Leslie and Ron” (Episode 4)
“One Last Ride” (Episode 12 & 13)
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enemies to lovers 4 with yuta uwu
[ 1000 followers project ] look i know we haven’t said anything nice to each other for years and this is a bit sudden but can you hold my hand and pretend to be my partner for the next few minutes cause my ex is coming over and i can’t be on my own for this so lets just pretend we aren’t mortal enemies okay? omg, you’re saying nice things about me and your arms are around my waist and my heart is pounding in my chest and oh god no out of all the people i could crush on why you? w/ nakamoto yuta.
uhmm let’s seeeee
you and yuta have been friends,,, well not really friends,, but like
you guys have known each other for quite some time now
you met in middle school
and you may or may not have said something that made yuta just >:(
so he forms this dislike for you
and trust me,, it’s mutual
you guys go from rarely ever acknowledging that the other exists
to like,,, just insulting one another when you get the chance
it’s not the most healthy relationship
but it’s the relationship you guys have,,
for years it continues like this
just being nasty to each other
there’s no real reason as to why you guys dislike each other,,, it’s just kind of baseless banter
but anyways
you guys grow up together,,, just arguing over stupid things
and when u guys get hired at the same cafe together ? ?
oh it’s hell
everyone else is just like,,, ehhh they’re used to it
y/n and yuta arguing??? that’s nothing new
yuta and y/n broke a plate ??? ehhh just deduct it from their paychecks
it’s not an unusual scene to see the two of you just,,,, whispering angrily at each other behind the counter
surprisingly,,, it seems that working together doesn’t fix the animosity between the two of you
it makes it worse lol
you guys argue over how to make certain drinks,,, how much whipped cream should be used
somehow though,,, it never gets in the way of how u guys work,,, like people who come to the cafe,,, like u guys
they think ur fun and,,, just,,, friendly
lmfao little do they know,,,,
y’all r worse than tom and jerry
ANYWAYS !!!! off topic
soooo
ur lets just say,,, ur ex shows up to the cafe,, and like,, gosh
ur ex is more annoying than yuta
but u guys aren’t there for work,, just to pick up ur checks
and u hear the “omg y/n!!! is that you???”
you refuse to turn around,,, in fact,, u wish the ground would just open up nd swallow u lol
you glance at yuta, a pleading look in your eyes
“quick put your arm around”
“why would i do that??”
“yuta just put your FUCKIN arm around me”
so you guys turn around,,, yuta placing his arm around your waist
and oh my god,,, you guys have the most awkward smiles on
but ur ex doesn’t seem to notice bc they’re off into a whole ass ted talk
and you and yuta are just like ? ? ?
and it continues on and you decide to try to stop them
“sorry, my boyfriend and i have to go now”
and suddenly it dawns on ur ex that there’s this dude with their arm around u
and they’re suddenly like,,,
whomst the fuck is this fool??
and yuta,,, being yuta,, puts on the most,,,, shit eating grin and introduces himself as u CURRENT boyfriend
emphasis on current
and for some odd reason ur ex sees that as a challenge???
and begins to question yuta about what you like,,, and all your small habits,,,
and it kind of makes you realize,,, that wow
you and yuta spend a lot of time together
and you find yourself thinking about all his little habits
his smirks,,,,
the bright smiles he gives the customers,,,
how he wear a lil heart earring sometimes,,,
it’s all so endearing,,,
and suddenly ur heart,,, it’s like she’s hit the gym and she’s running 3 miles on the treadmill bc she’s RACING
but you know,,,
that there’s no way you guys could,,, EVER leave the relationship you’ve established,,,
or is there,,,, ; )
#ask#anon#1000fp#nct#nct scenario#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct imagine#yuta#nakamoto yuta#yuta scenario#yuta scenarios#yuta imagines#yuta imagine#nct 127
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a tag my dudes
oi i was @shawnsmercy and @for-my-mind so thank you guys!
rules - answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people.
- what was your last...
1) drink - water
2) phone call - my friend annette
3) text message - asking a friend about the ap human geo homework hehe
4) song you listened to - sHe by zayn
5) time you cried - last night lmao
- have you ever...
6) dated someone twice? - plenty of times
7) kissed someone and regretted it? actually yeah it was pretty bad, we went for different kisses (yikes)
8) been cheated on? - nope
9) lost someone special? - yeah
10) been depressed? only mildly, now all i harbour is frustration and stress oops
11) gotten drunk and thrown up? - i mean i had like a shot and a half of straight vodka and that was my first and only time drinking alcohol and i was slightly buzzed and got a massive headache and my stomach was not handling it well and i did almost throw up but i didn’t! yeah, never again. dark times, dark times.
- fave colours
12) pale yellow/blue
13) iridescent
14) black, grey n white (you can never go wrong with ‘em!)
- in the last year have you...
15) made new friends? - actually yeah i have
16) fallen out of love? - yes ma’am
17) laughed until you cried? - it’s a daily thing
18) found out someone was talking about you? - yeah but it actually wasn’t in a bad way this time which makes me feel real good :)
19) met someone who changed you? - yeah
20) found out who your friends are?- i mean i’ve been known who my friends are and the new friends i've made haven’t surprised me with anything crazy about them so i guess not
21) kissed someone on your facebook friends list? - oof people still use facebook?
22) how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? - i. don’t. use. that. shit.
23) do you have any pets? - YES AND HE’S A DOG AND I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART HES SO CURLY AND SOFT AND LOVELY
24) do you want to change your name? - eh, nah
25) what did you do for your last birthday? - we hung out at the pool n ate n shit
26) what time did you wake up today? 7am. thanks school, you fucker
27) what were you doing at midnight last night? - homework oops
28) what is something you can’t wait for? - for these stupid stitches to dissolve, for school to be over, for my summer australia trip, and for the niall horan concert in september
29) what is your favourite animal? - doggos (its basic and i really don’t care)
30) what are you listening to rn? - there for you by troye sivan (my boiiii)
31) have you ever talked to a person named tom? - uh, i think so
32) something that’s getting on your nerves - how much i procrastinate and these fucking stitches
33) most visited website - probably youtube
34) hair colour - dark brown, yes, DARK brown
35) long or short hair? - eh it's kinda short-medium
36) do you have a crush on someone? - a big fat one
37) what do you like about yourself? - that i can make people laugh or smile or feel good about themselves and i also like my curly hair and ability to do eyebrows (ayeee)
38) want any piercings? - no more for now
39) blood type - oof i’ve never been told what mine is
40) nicknames - mimi, mandy, panda (my mom and brother call me panda just to piss me off lol)
41) relationship status - single but crushing real hard
42) sign - gemini, bitch
43) pronouns - she/her i guess but whatever you want is fine with me tbh
44) fave tv show - probably the vampire diaries or drake and josh or zoey 101
45) tattoos - not of legal age yet but i have 11 tattoo ideas saved on my phone so far so best believe my fast ass will be seated in that parlour chair when i’m 18
46) right or left handed - i’m actually ambidexterous
47) ever had a surgery? - literally had one earlier today
48) piercings - i’ve got the standard ear lobe piercings and a helix in my right ear
49) sport - swimming yUh fuck land sports
50) vacation - aUsTrAlIa (ah that looks so weird)
51) trainers - converse or adidas
- more general
52) eating - my stomach actually just started growling probably because i ate fucking ice cream for dinner and a quick jell-o snack bc of this fucking mouth surgery
53) drinking - i lOve lemonade im a lemonade hoe but i only fuck with that good juicy lemonade not that watered down shit oh and i also really love iced coffee but water’s good too
54) i’m about to watch - my grades plummet and my school year be ruined bc im doing this instead of homework and its 2am and now im freaking out bc i didnt even realise it was 2am friCk
55) waiting for - this shit to heal so i can use my upper lip properly and eat
56) want - harry styles tickets i mean he’s literally coming to a venue about 20 minutes from my house ON MY BIRTHDAY but there are literally no good seats left at a price i can afford and for school to end *deep SIGH*
57) get married - ???
58) career - i’m currently looking into the tech industry and being a software engineer or web developer or lowkey an actress or an internet personality but lord knows what my indecisive gemini ass is gonna wanna be next year
59) hugs or kisses - hugs are more comfortable
60) lips or eyes - the eyes are where it’s at
61) taller or shorter - i’m not sure what this is asking but i’m average height ?? idk but i’m 5′4 and i prefer taller but if your short i still really really love you plus my crush is really short and she’s the cutest thing ever
62) older or younger - i’m just now realising the previous question was about preference which i did answer but i also added some unneccesary detail and now im too lazy to change it but not lazy to type an also unnecessary paragraph anyway i prefer my guys older and my girls can be either i really don’t mind
63) nice arms or stomach - i really don’t care you can have both, one, or neither but none of that really matters if your personality’s shit
64) hookups or relationships - relationships
65) troublemaker or hesitant - i’m kinda both sometimes i’m hesitant and overthink a situation and end up getting myself into trouble anyway it’s stupid and doesn’t make sense but it happens
66) kissed a stranger - heck no
67) drank hard liquor - ye buddy and it wasn’t good
68) turned someone down - yup
69) sex on first date - haha i see what you did there, number 69. but no i’m still a virgin wassup
70) broken someone’s heart - god i hope not but i think i have
71) had your heart broken - that’s its current condition
72) been arrested - nope
73) cried when someone died - i’d be concerned if i didn’t
74) fallen for a friend - it’s the current news
- do you believe in
75) yourself - i don’t know, do i?
76) miracles - i really don’t know, maybe?
77) love at first sight - eh yeah
78) sanata claus - is this some kind of joke
79) angels - harry styles wants me to believe otherwise and i mean when i look at her i definitely see what you mean mr. styles
80) eye colour - brown but i got green contacts to spice it up a bit (they’re prescription though bc i’m blind as fuck)
81) best friends’ name - bianca, kaylyn, allison, and ashadé
82) favourite movie - the outsiders, grease, dunkirk (i mean), everything, everything, and love simon (oh and the 1d this is us movie even though i never saw it but 1d’s in it so it’s automatically good also remember harry in dunkirk?)
83) favourite actor - HARRY STYLES (im biased oops), amandla stenberg, nick robinson, ralph macchio, tom holland, zendaya, ian somerhalder, and katherine langford (i literally just spewed a bunch of names from movies i love oh well)
84) favourite cartoon - tom and jerry bc im real like that, the amazing world of gumball, steven universe, and we bare bears
85) favourite teacher’s name - uh, what
i don’t know 20 people so ima just tag some people off the top of my head, sorry if you were already tagged: @illumilitt @shawnmcuddles @shawnssweatshirt @pattinsonshawn and anyone else who wants to do it :)
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tag game 🎮
✨✨ 92 Truths ✨✨
tagged by the most loveliest™ @lovhobe i enjoyed reading yours!! its so much fun!! thank for tagging me lov💞 but welp this is pretty long i hope you enjoy it!!
Last 1). Drink: i love me some good tea ☕️ 2). Phone Call: driver to pick me up 3). Text: “good luck for the social service guys!!” to a gc 4). Song You Listened To: BTS - Spring Day hype my boys!! 5). Time You Cried: ngl i really want to cry lately but i just cant?
Have You Ever 6). Dated Someone Twice: nope~ 7). Been Cheated On: nah 8). Kisses Someone And Regretted It: no 9). Lost Someone Special: yes 10). Been Depressed: oh mAN HOW SHOULD I ANSWER THIS –hggggnyenso? 11). Gotten Drunk And Threw Up: nop
List 3 Favorite Colors 12). All Shades of Blue™ 13). Creamy Neutral Brown-ish? 14). Monochrome
In The Last Year Have You 15). Made New Friends: of course!! kai my beautiful angel 💖 16). Fallen Out Of Love: what’s that suppose to mean? 17.) Laughed Until You Cried: yes I love this kind of feeling 18). Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: hnnnng of course 19). Met Someone Who Changed You: rather than changed I improved well ^^; 20). Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: mAN WHAT A QUESTION - yes 21). Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: ah nop
Random Questions 22). How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life?: doesn’t really use facebook no more but majority its just my family and the extended ones 23). Do You Have Any Pets?: no 24). Do You Want To Change Your Name?: I like my name a lot!! 25). What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday?: ah…. It was probably my worst one 26). What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 4am.... 27). What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night?: went to this hellsite 28). Name Something You Cannot Wait For: graduate from college/university!! 29). When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom?: this evening 30). What Is The One Thing That You Wish You Could Change About Your Life?: i want my dad 31). What Are You Listening To Right Now?: nothing in my mood??? 32). Have You Talked To A Person Named Tom?: nopeeeee except Tom and Jerry 33). Name Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: rude people 34). Do You Have A Crush On Someone?: I don’t think so? 35). What Do You Like About Yourself? I like my outgoing-ness!
Speed Round 36). Most Visited Website: hellsite™ and youtube 37). Elementary: greatest school moment ever 38). High School: h e l l 39). College: sliding slowly but surely thru classes 40). Hair Color: black but ive been thinking to get some purple-ish highlight 41). Long Or Short Hair: short hair bc long hair annoy me a lot when driving 42). Piercings: both ears 43). Blood Type: AB 44). Nickname?: just kai 45). Relationship Status: ? single ? 46). Zodiac Sign: Taurus but idk abt the rising sun moon stuff…. 47). Pronouns: She/Her 48). Favorite Tv Show: Any Cartoon is Good Cartoon™ 49). Tattoos: nope 50). Right Or Left Hand: right handed!! i love watching left handed write tho
First 51). Surgery: ear bc I fell when I was playing a swing set…. amazing right….? 52). Piercing: been since a baby 53). Word: the most normal ones “papa mama” 54). Sport: basketball I suppose? 55). Vacation: abroad Thailand, local to grandparent’s hometown 56). Pair Of Trainers: like….shoes?
Recently 57). Eating: chickeeeeeeen🍗 58). Drinking: tea ☕️ 👌🏼 59). I’m About To: i already opened my study pdf but this hellsite is such a temptation 60). Listening To: my brother to his youtube mix 61). Waiting For: motivation to study 🤔🤔🤔 62). Want: i really want those baseball cap merch from wings tour!!! 😩
Do You Want To? 63). Get Married: of course!! 64). Have A Career And If So, What?: i’m already in medical school if that doesnt explain what career i want then...
Which is Better? 65). Hugs Or Kisses: I like both <33 66). Lips Or Eyes: eyes are the windows of a soul 67). Shorter Or Taller: I’m short so everyone is kinda taller than me so…? 68). Older Or Younger: older 69). Spontaneous Or Romantic: both I don’t mind? 70). Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: this too!! I don’t mind~ 71). Sensitive Or Loud: eh….? 72). Hook Up Or Relationship: relationship 73). Troublemaker Or Hesitant: I don’t know what’s this question suppose to mean?
Have You Ever? 74). Kissed A Stranger: nope 75). Drank Hard Liquor: nah 76). Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: I don’t wear glasses… 77). Turned Someone Down: no 78). Sex On First Date: no 79). Broken Someone’s Heart: nope 80). Had Your Heart Broken: nah 81). Been Arrested: nah 82). Cried When Someone Died: yes of course 83). Fallen For A Friend: childhood innocence got me so yes
Do You Believe 84). In Yourself: in some point, I should believe in myself 85). Miracles: yes 86). Love At First Sight: I guess? 87). Santa Claus: nah 88). Kiss On The First Date: nope 89). Angels: I guess….?
Other 90). Current Best Friend: @lovhobe💕👌🏼 91). Eye Color: brown 92). Favorite Movie: it depends on my mood….?
wowwwwe? its pretty long... i had fun tho!! thank you once again for tagging me lov💞 tagging @jinium @jinsblankie @kthksj @ksjknj @yoongichii and everyone who survived reading this long ass post dont be pressured tho~~
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My Favorite Movie Hitmen of All-Time This is a list of the best hitmen in film history. Hitmen have always been an interesting character for Hollywood. They are often enigmatic and highly dangerous, but also usually really awesome. My list takes many factors into consideration. How cool they are and how dangerous they are were two of the main factors.
1 - Léon - Léon: The Professional Can he be any cooler? He's quiet, he's got an awesome knit hat, kickass shades, likes taking care of his plant and he gets to hang out with Natalie Portman all day. Granted, she's like 12 in the film, but Leon never becomes creepy. His relationship with Mathilda is strictly platonic and he is more of a fatherly figure to her. Did I also mention that he has a bunch of badass guns and boy does he know how to use them? 2 - Jason Bourne - The Bourne Franchise No offense to Mr. Bond, James Bond, but Jason Bourne would destroy 007 (any of them) before his martini was finished being shaken (not stirred.) He's just lethal and the amazing thing is that it's literally a knee jerk reaction for him. Breaking bones is like breathing or blinking with this guy. He's also incredibly intelligent which makes him even more deadly. Jason Bourne doesn't even need a gun or a knife to work a dude over. He can use anything within his reach. It doesn't matter if it's a ballpoint pen or a rolled up magazine, if it's in Jason Bourne's hands, you're a dead man. 3 - John Wick - The John Wick Franchise Don't mess with a man's dog or his car. In John Wick's world, he's essentially a myth, a legend for fellow assassins to whisper about. You can see why. Wick is like a machine. Every bullet he fires hits its mark and he's just as deadly with close quarters combat. Like any good hitman, he also looks stylish doing it. As you will see with many of the people on this list, John Wick doesn't say much. He does his talking with his guns. 4 - Anton Chigurh - No Country for Old Men Man who hires Wells: [about Chigurh] "Just how dangerous is he?" Carson Wells: "Compared to what? The bubonic plague?" This quote perfectly sums up the level of danger that Anton Chigurh brings to the table. He truly is like a plague. A deadly virus that does not discriminate on who it kills. That's not to say Chigurh doesn't have rules. He does and that's what makes him such an interesting character. If you play by his rules, you live. Simple as that. The fascinating thing about Chigurh and his seemingly unstoppable evil is that even a force like him is not invincible. In fact, what almost take him out? A little old lady running a stop sign. 5 - The Bride - Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2 "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Damn, they weren't kidding. You do not want to get on this woman's list because she will hunt you down and remove your eyeball from your optical lobe with her fingers. That's just her being nice. Most times she just chops you up into little itty bitty pieces. The Bride is the first female on my list, and easily the best person with a blade. 6 - Terminator - The Terminator Should The Terminator be higher on the list? Maybe, but he's a cyborg. He should be an unstoppable hitman. Terminator has cool sunglasses, rides a motorcycle and has a knack for delivering killer one-liners. I guess the only thing that knocks him down a few slots is that the first version of him is often thwarted by a teenage girl. The other problem with Terminator is that he lacks stealth and subtlety. 7 - Jules Winnfield - Pulp Fiction He recites bible scripture before he ices your ass. Come on, it doesn't get much cooler than that. Jules doesn't recite the scripture because he's overly religious and wants to be respectful to the soon-to-be-dead thug. No, he admits that the only reason why he does it is that he thought it was a "cold-blooded thing to say before I popped a cap in someone's ass." Jules also sports a pretty groovy jerry curled afro. 8 - Alejandro - Sicario Alejandro is the strong, silent type. Don't be fooled though, he's just as ruthless as anybody on this list. All you have to do is watch the end of Sicario and you'll understand what I'm talking about. The man is cold-blooded. I can't say I blame him given the circumstances. 9 - Sorter - Revolver The first hitman on my list that is a relative unknown. I doubt most people have even heard of the film, let alone the character. Sorter is played by the great character actor Mark Strong from the Guy Ritchie film Revolver. Unfortunately, Revolver is kind of a bad movie. Sorter is hands down the best part of the film. He's so cool that it's worth watching the movie just for him. Sure, he looks like an accountant with his bald head and thick rimmed glasses, but make no mistake, Sorter will punch your ticket faster that you can add 2+2. The guy took out three bad guys who were in another room just by sticking his gun through a hole in a wall and watching on a surveillance monitor. Come on, son. 10 - Smith - Shoot 'Em Up Smith just might be the most talented hitman on this list. He delivers a baby while in the middle of a shootout, he wastes a host of goons while having sex with Monica Bellucci and never skips a beat. You don't even want to know how deadly he can be with a carrot. Eat your vegetables, kids. Actually, you should see how deadly he is with a carrot. Not enough people caught this one when it was in theaters. 11 - Victoria - Red She's like 70 and still looks sexy in an evening gown. Oh, did I mention she likes playing with guns? I don't care that she's old enough to be a grandmother, she's still smokin' hot. Next. 12 - Vincent - Collateral The constant professional. It's just a job to Vincent. No hard feelings. The thing that makes Vincent interesting is the fact that there is a sadness to his character. Vincent is also rocking that gray head of hair to match his sharp gray suit. 13 - Ah Jong - The Killer I love The Killer. It's one of the best action films of all-time and includes some truly memorable scenes. Scenes that have been copied numerous times throughout the years by Hollywood. In fact, Shoot 'Em Up pays homage to The Killer with the scene with the shootout while holding an infant. Unfortunately, Ah Jong's story centers on a hit gone wrong. He accidentally blinded a woman and is trying to raise money to help her. Very admirable, but he loses major points in my book. 14 - Martin Q. Blank - Grosse Pointe Blank Don't be fooled by the boy-next-door looks, this guy is dangerous. The good news for bad guys is that Martin is trying to get out of the business and is having second thoughts about his choice for a career. He takes one more hit which also happens to be at his high school reunion. You thought your reunion was bad. Jason Bourne may not have much of a memory, but he clearly saw Grosse Pointe Blank and watched Martin kill a guy with a ballpoint pen and thought it might be a good skill to have. 15 - Michael Sullivan - Road to Perdition He's just a father who works for the mob to put food on the table. What could go wrong? Well, a lot. Sullivan soon hits the road with his young son by his side. One of the more unique father/son bonding experiences you will ever see. America's favorite average Joe actor has never looked more dangerous than Tom Hanks did in Road to Perdition. 16 - Angel Eyes - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Has there ever been a more impressive and intimidating steely gaze than Lee Van Cleef as Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? Angel Eyes will stop at nothing to catch Blonde and Tuco. Walking away with the money would have been a nice bonus. 17 - Wesley Gibson - Wanted An average kid becomes legendary hitman who can curve bullets. How can he not be on the list? The only thing that keeps him from being higher is that his movie character can't compare to the graphic novel. 18 - Killer Joe Cooper - Killer Joe Boy, Joe certainly is an interesting character. I will never look at a chicken leg the same way again. I can't put Joe very high on the list because we don't really get to see him in action a whole lot. At least not in terms of killing people. He does look cool in that cowboy hat though. 19 - Mr. Goodkat - Lucky Number Slevin A hitman with a cool name and endlessly quotable lines played by Bruce Willis. It's pretty much a given he'd be on this list. Favorite quote: "Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third; that's a story." Goodkat is kind of an enigma, but he's very entertaining. He often shows up just to reveal a little bit more information from a pretty twisty plot. 20 - Jackie Cogan - Killing Them Softly Jackie Cogan is a hitman for today's financial climate. Jackie proves that the current recession can have an impact on his profession. He can be very intelligent and puts a lot of work into his craft. He's a tad too talky for my liking though and that's why he finds himself lower on this list. 21 - El Mariachi - El Mariachi/Desperado El Mariachi is one of the more stylish hitmen around. He carries his machine gun in his guitar case and that just oozes coolness. Did I mention that he gets to have sex with Salma Hayek? 22 - Peter Clemenza - The Godfather "Leave the gun, take the canoli." With that line, Clemenza cemented himself as a legend of cinema. It's just a shame we didn't get to see more of this rotund rogue in action. Sure, he's not in the best shape compared to the other hitmen on this list, but he's just as deadly. Just make sure he's not in the backseat when you get into a car. 23 - Joe - Looper Joe's made a living killing people sent back into the past from the future. Not a bad gig considering he never has to see the face of the people he's killing. Until Joe realizes he's been contracted to kill his future self. You'd think that would make most people question their dedication to their job. Not Joe. 24 - Hanna - Hanna Has a tween girl ever kicked more ass than Hanna? Probably not. She's like a young, pretty female Jason Bourne. She's literally been conditioned to be a deadly killing machine since she was born. Until she realizes she wants to just be a normal kid. Can she turn off her deadly side and live a normal life? Let's hope not. 25 - Harlen Maguire - Road to Perdition Part-time hitman, part-time photographer that takes pictures of crime scenes. Whatever it takes to make ends meet I guess. You'd think with the money he's making Harlen can afford to brush his teeth or something. It was kind of refreshing to see the good looking Jude Law play such a slimy, vile character. 26 - Angelo Ledda - The Memory of a Killer Angelo is the oldest hitman on the list, but I respect my elders. Besides, he still gets the job done despite his age and failing memory. You have to respect anybody who can live to be that age in his line of work. No matter how good you are, I have to think the life expectancy isn't too great. 27 - Paul - Haywire In another movie, Paul might have become a legendary hitman. He looks slick and dresses cool and is kind of enigmatic, but he's with us for such a short time. Let's be honest, he also got his ass handed to him by Gina Carano. 28 - Chuck Barris - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Is he a game show host, is he a CIA hitman or is he just plain crazy? We may never know, but Sam Rockwell plays the real life Chuck Barris with just the right amount of wackiness and sincerity to make the film work. 29 - Ray - In Bruges I love Ray, but the hitman game is just not for him. He seems like a nice guy with a big heart, I'm not quite sure how he got wrapped up in this, but it's not gonna work out. Ray's first hit goes horribly wrong and he finds himself in Bruges as punishment and as a way to lay low. For Ray, hell would be a better place to stay. Anything's better than F'n Bruges... 30 - Vincent Vega - Pulp Fiction I know what you're thinking, how can Vince be at 30 when Jules is all the way up there at 7? HE SHOT MARVIN IN THE FACE!! That's how. I'm sorry, that just can't happen. It's bush league. Then take into account that Vince died while taking a dump and I could make the case he shouldn't even be on the list at all. The only reason I showed mercy are those groovy dance moves.
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1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers? picture of me and the bf
2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? totally, 8th grade. Mr. Lohman. fun dude.
3) What was your last text message? ”i love you”
4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? married, maybe a kid on the way
5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? with my boyfriend down by the beach
6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? tiger, totally
7) What was your favorite ‘90′s show? friends 100%
8) Who was your last kiss? kyle martin
9) Have you ever been stood up? yep.
10) Favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough
11) Have you been to Las Vegas? nope.
12) Your favorite pair of shoes? gotta stick with the converse.
13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? no, but i have been cheated on.
14) What is your favorite fruit? cantaloupe
15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? nah
16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? long term
17) Do you smoke? If so, what? nope.
18) What do you do to get over your anger? listen to music.
19) Do you believe in God? sure, its a tough question though
20) Does the person you're in love with know it? absolutely
21) Favorite position? traditional??
22) What's your horoscope sign? Aquarius
23) Your fears? losing the ones i love, oblivion, failure, denial, rejection, public speaking, going outside 😂
25) What never fails to turn you on? totally neck kisses
26) Your idea of a perfect first date? hmmm, maybe, nice picnic by the lake, looking at the clouds, watching the sky turn from blue to black, talking for hours.
27) What is something most people don't know about you? i love johnny depp
28) What makes you feel the happiest? kyle
29) What store do you shop at most often? aero probably.
30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? hmmmmmm..... i dont mind it.
31) Do you believe in karma? yes and no
32) Are you single? nope
33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? neither, if you just do things to make them happy, and try to fix things, then i think thats perfect.
34) Are you a good swimmer? meh
35) Coffee or Tea? both
36) Online shopping or shopping in person? online
37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? older
38) Cats or Dogs? dogs
39) Are you a competitive person? when it comes to volleyball, yes
40) Do you believe in aliens? absolutely
41) Do you like dancing? who doesnt?
42) What kind of music to you listen to? good music
43) What is your favorite cartoon character? blue’s clues, tom and jerry, the old spongebob
44) Where are you from? The US
45) Eat at home or eat out? depends
46) How much more social are you when you're drunk? im social as it is
47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? clothes
48) Why do you think your followers follow you? i have followers?
49) How many hours do you sleep at night? at least 5
50) What worries you most about the future? being unhappy
51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? not long
52) Are you happy with yourself? depends
53) What do you wish you didn't know? literally anything
54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? think before you do
55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? Perry and Jordan’s house from Scrubs.
56) What's your favorite Website? tumblr
57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? cracking my knuckles
58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? duluth
59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? free bird
60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? literally just rice
61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? montana
62) If you had to teach a class, what would you teach? ,either art or english
63) Favorite kind of chips? doritos
64) Favorite kind of sandwich? blt??
65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? dictionary
66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? yes
67) What’s your favorite sport? volleyball
68) Are you afraid of heights? no, just afraid of falling
69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? physics of 9th grade.
70) What's your favorite breakfast? eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, hashbrowns, idk.
71) Do you like guacamole? yea
72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? yep
73) What/who are you thinking about right now? ummm food and kyle
74) Do you like cuddling? LOOOOOVVVEEEEE ITTT
75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? my past
76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? yes
77) Favorite city you've been to? duluth
78) Would you break the law to save a family member? yes
79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? ok this one time at church camp my friend made me laugh so hard i pissed myself. while IN CHURCH. i was 12.
80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? anti bullying for sure.
81) What's the worst injury you've ever had? sprained my ankle
82) Favorite day of the week? friday
83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? sure
84) How do you feel about porn? hate it
85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? johnny depp
86) Who was your hottest ex? idk
87) Do you want/have kids? yes, 3-4.
88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? yes
89) Do you get easily distracted? yes
90) Jawline or abs? why not both
91) What is your favorite word? moist
92) How do you feel about tattoos? they’re okay
93) Do you have any pets? no
94) How tall are you? 5′4″
95) How old are you? 15
96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? ass, eyes, and humor
97) Is there anything you're really passionate about? music and art
98) Do you have trust issues? yes 99) Do you believe in love at first sight? yes 100) What are some words that you live by? Why? think before you do. because i sure as hell need to live by that more.
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