#kind of a vent I realized so I'll probably delete tomorrow morning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itmightaswellrain · 7 months ago

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you know that one experience where in the moment it wasn't so bad but you can't talk about it at all because to voice it is to acknowledge the circumstances that made it happen in the first place and suddenly that would make it so much worse. because that isolated event is ok to think about but never to talk about because talking about it means coming to terms withwhy it happened, which hurt more than the end outcome.sorry I'm going insane

#I just remember sitting in the middle of strangers thinking .well if i even started to become friends with the people who left me here #then we're sure as hell not friends now.#it ruined the way i see those people even though I know I was just convenient yknow #I didn't talk a lot and I was already kind of lonely so of course i wanted to be left alone with strangers.#I didn't have any close friends in yhat group so I get it but like. HOURS. of them hanging out and laughing #and I was just sitting there hands to myself alone totally humiliated like yeah I guess that's what i get for trying at all.#but it wasn't so bad just sitting there if i don't think about why . if I had made thr choice for myself i would've been ok but #I didn't so i just felt really embarrassed. yeah im here with friends #but they've all splintered off into groups and someone had to be left behind. it's whatever.#I thought I was doing a good job making friends too #kind of a vent I realized so I'll probably delete tomorrow morning

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