#kimxnathanael

[insanitysscribblings]

Reyna Writes: The Artist and the Athlete

@siderealsandman

*Kicks down door*

WHO HERE WANTS SOME KIMNATH FANFIC?

Have a fluff piece with ‘em~ Enjoy! <3

~Reyna

          His pencil danced across his sketchbook, but not in the usual way. Rather that creating anything, it appeared to be an unconscious thing, Nathanael’s head propped up on his fist as he stared blankly down at his sketchbook, as if waiting for an idea to form. His hair was down today, too—it was common knowledge that Nathanael liked to work with his hair up, since he needed both eyes clear to really commit to his craft.

           There was no commitment today, though—only a pinched brow and a slight pout, as if whatever he was trying to work on was being difficult, and Nathanael had no idea how to win its cooperation.

           When he jogged past the agitated artist for the third time, Kim decided to pause his training to see what was up.

           “Yo, Nath!” He called, announcing his presence with a shout and a hearty wave as he jogged towards the table Nathanael was sitting. He looked up, smiling vaguely as Kim took the seat across from him.

           “Hey, Kim.” He swept his red hair behind an ear, but the gesture was useless; his bangs fell right back into his face again, but other than a brief roll of his eyes, he let them be. “What’s up?”

           “Oh, you know—gotta keep up my speed if I wanna keep my track scholarship.” He shrugged with a grin that hovered just over the border of cheeky. “Also gotta keep my strength up since I basically carry my team.”

           Nathanael chuckled, sliding his sketchbook shut. Kim noticed.

           “Not feelin’ the artsy vibes today?”

           Nathanael’s brow puckered.

           “Not especially,” he confessed, running a frustrated hand through his hair with a sigh. “Not for lack of trying or anything—I guess I’ve just been uninspired lately.”

           “Aw, that sucks,” Kim said sympathetically, wiping sweat from his brow with the towel slung around his neck.

           “It does. Especially since I have a project due soon.” Nathanael folded his hands under his chin, slim fingers interlocking as he scowled down at his sketchbook. Kim grinned. If anything, the dude definitely had the ‘brooding artist’ look down pat. “I think I may need a new muse.”

           “Don’t you have to sell your soul for one of those?”

           Nathanael glanced up at Kim, something like a deadpan crossing his features. Kim raised his eyebrows.

           “What?”

           “…You’re not going to make the obligatory ‘red head, no soul’ joke here?”

           Kim blinked.

           “Huh?”

           “Never mind,” Nathanael dismissed the issue, relief taking over his expression now as he smiled. “Just…some of my American friends have imposed this, uh, ‘view’ on me.” He frowned again. “It got old real quick.”

           Kim grinned.

           “Okay, but it’s probably better than being asked if the curtains match the carpet all the time…am I right?”

           “Oh god,” Nathanael groaned, dropping his face into a hand. “Add the nickname ‘Rusty’, and you have the unholy trio of red-head jokes.”

           “Isn’t there also something from America about an orphan named Annie—”

           “Don’t,” Nathanael said, giving Kim a sharp warning glance. Kim snickered.

           “Hey, don’t get mad at me. I didn’t give you the red hair.”

           Nathanael rolled his eyes, idly tapping his pencil on his sketchbook once again, which drew Kim’s attention to it once more.

           “So what’s this project you have to do?”

           Nathanael blinked, looking like Kim had pulled him out of some other void of thought.

           “Oh…it’s an anatomy piece,” he said. “The concept isn’t difficult—I’ve done plenty of anatomy pieces before…” He frowned again, pale skin wrinkling. “But my professor says my style’s stagnating.”

           “Rude,” Kim said with a frown, which brought a slight smile to Nathanael’s face.

           “Thanks, but it’s important to be able to take criticism about things like this, even if it isn’t always something I want to hear.” Nathanael sighed, tucking his pencil behind his ear for safe keeping as he propped his head up with his elbows, frowning down at his sketchbook once more. “But I’m not sure what to do. I want to branch out and challenge myself, but how do I do that?”

           “Why don’t you just ask him exactly what he’s looking for?”

           To this, Nathanael let out a bitter laugh that had Kim cringing. Wow…in all the time he had known him, he had never heard Nathanael make a sound so dispirited…

           “It’s an art class,” he pointed out after a moment, giving Kim a dry smile. “Nothing is exact. You have to feel your way through it in order to truly create…but with this…”

           His lips twisted, and Kim was startled to find him looking so…unsure.

           “…I don’t know,” he muttered, tearing his eyes away from his sketchbook to look away, into the distance. “I’m starting to question more and more whether or not I really want this to be my career, if I get stuck on something as simple as this…”

           Kim stared, his mouth hanging open. Nathanael, the boy who never went anywhere without at least one sketchpad and a set of pencils with him since primary school…not doing art?

           The thought was so inconceivable that Kim was seized with a sudden desire to correct this problem, no matter what it took.

           “Nath…you love art,” Kim fervently reminded his friend, his hands splayed flat against the table as he leaned in, staring at his broody artist friend, who returned his gaze with some surprise. “You quitting art would be like me quitting track! It just wouldn’t be right, man! You have a gift, and it’d be stupid to throw it away! I’d hate to see you give up your passion just ‘cause you’re struggling with something so temporary.”

           Nathanael blinked, red slowly painting his cheeks as he glanced away from Kim, a little, shy smile crossing his face. The sight amused Kim—university had definitely helped Nathanael come out of his shell, but it was the tiny gestures that pleased Kim, because they reassured him that Nathanael would never change too much.

           “Uh…thanks,” he replied quietly, but all too soon, that smile turned back into a grimace. “Still…it would be nice to work through this block.”

           “Right.” Kim sat straight again and folded his arms, frowning as he put on his Mr. Fix-It cap and tried to figure out how to assist his struggling friend. Anatomy, huh… “Is this, like, one of those naked drawing classes or something?”

           Kim half-expected Nathanael to blush…but he didn’t. Instead, there was a thoughtful gleam in his eye as he gripped his chin in thought.

           “I wouldn’t classify in that way, although we do have nude models from time to time,” he admitted, and Kim raised his eyebrows. The way he said that with no trace of embarrassment…Kim wasn’t sure if he could pull off that level of professionalism. He was almost envious.

           “So, what? You need a model?”

           Nathanael shrugged.

           “Not in the way you mean. I came here to sketch people passing by, so it’s not like I need someone who’ll stay still for hours at a time…but maybe that’s my problem?” He closed his eyes and frowned, and Kim had to bite back a laugh at the way his brooding intensified with just two simple gestures. “I prefer to sketch things in motion more than stills…capturing a brief piece of someone’s life like that is fun, and still models feel more like I’m staging my art rather than creating it…but if motion sketches are all I do, I can’t really improve, can I…?”

           He was talking himself in circles, getting so quiet that he was just muttering under his breath now. Kim could do nothing but watch, frowning as he wished that there was something he could do…

           …Wait.

           There was something he could do!

           “Hey, I could be a model,” he interjected, grinning confidently, even at the startled look in Nathanael’s eyes once he opened them.

           “…I appreciate that you want to help, Kim,” Nathanael replied, tilting his head a little with that vague smile from earlier, as if he wanted to be as polite as possible in his refusal of such an idea. “But being a model is very rarely interesting for the models themselves. You’d have to stay still for very long periods of time—”

           “I can do that!” At Nathanael’s raised eyebrows, Kim pouted. “Don’t give me that look—I can stay still! …If I try…really, really hard…”

           Nathanael laughed, teal eyes sparkling with mirth.

           “Well…it’s not like I couldn’t use the practice, I guess,” he mused, “but Kim—are you sure? I don’t want to cut into your practice time—”

           “It’s totally fine,” Kim insisted with a careless wave of his hand. “Friends gotta help each other out, right? Just name a time and a place, and I’ll be there.”

           “…Okay, I’ll do that,” Nathanael agreed, smiling warmly. “Thanks, Kim.”

           Kim grinned.

           “Anytime, buddy.”

           Not fidgeting was a lot harder than Kim ever expected it to be.

           It wasn’t like he had to hold a crazy pose or anything either—though he had certainly tried, before Nathanael had instructed him to just sit down like a normal person instead of with his chest puffed out, or in a dab. Kim had complained that that wasn’t very exciting, but twenty minutes in, he was grateful for Nathanael’s foresight, for having to hold any of his previous poses right now would’ve been a bitch.

           Nathanael’s dorm room was neat and tidy, save for a corner of the room that was covered in old newspapers and riddled with art supplies and an easel, the canvas splashed with paint, though no discernible shapes stuck out to Kim. They were not over in this corner, however—instead, Kim sat on Nathanael’s bed while he was seated in the chair at his desk, the only sound in the room the light scratches of Nathanael’s pencil, or the scrape of an eraser on paper as he undid a misplaced pencil stroke. His eyes shifted back and forth between Kim and his sketchbook, the glances to both brief, as if Nathanael didn’t actually have to look at what he was doing for very long. There was an implicit trust in his artist fingers that Kim found himself relating to—he never had to think about running, except to adjust his speed and pacing from time to time. It was a natural thing, easy as breathing, when his powerful legs propelled him across the earth, as if he could outrun the speed of light and sound—

           Damn it, now he wanted to go for a jog. Running was the wrong thing to think about right now.

           Kim’s fingers twitched as he sat there, trying not to move too noticeably. Huh…he never knew silence could be awkward. It wasn’t like he didn’t like hanging out with Nathanael—he was a cool dude, and Kim had known him practically forever, even if they didn’t become close until entering university together. But the fact that Nathanael kept looking at him without saying anything stirred him, and he didn’t know why…

           The next sweep of Nathanael’s eyes stayed longer than usual, and Kim found himself tensing at the change. He didn’t know why…maybe it was because he was unused to meeting both of Nathanael’s eyes, instead of focusing on just the one that wasn’t perpetually obscured by his hair. Nathanael seemed to pause for a second…and then he lowered his sketchbook into his lap, letting his pencil rest in his hand.

           “Are you done already?” Kim asked in surprise, wondering just how amazing Nathanael’s abilities had become.

           Nathanael chuckled at the assumption.

           “No. I just feel like you’re a little too tense. Relax a bit.”

           “Oh, yeah, sure, I can do that.” Kim cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders before settling back into his slouched over position, a hand dangling in between his knees as he rested his elbow on his thigh. “Better?”

           “Better.” Nathanael raised his sketchbook again, and kept his eyes upon it as he asked, “How’s your training going?”

           Kim blinked.

           “I thought I wasn’t supposed to move?”

           “You can talk,” Nathanael allowed with a smirk that smacked of amusement. “The movement of your mouth is a minute detail…though I’m going to have to ask that you don’t talk with your hands as much right now.”

           Kim frowned.

           “I don’t talk with my hands,” he denied, waving a hand through the air to assert his point…oh, wait. Damn it.

           Nathanael laughed, the sound free and easy. Kim felt himself swallow and frowned. Hmm…looked like he hadn’t hydrated enough today…

           “And training’s fine,” Kim answered the question to move past his slip, watching as Nathanael focused on his sketchbook, pencil gliding across the page. “I think we stand a good chance of flattening our competition next month.”

           Kim followed the slight curve of Nathanael’s lips with his eyes as he glanced up again, expression knowing.

           “You’re never anything short of confident, huh?”

           “You makin’ fun of me?” Kim challenged with a grin.

           “Not at all,” answered Nathanael, and the earnestness in his voice made Kim pause. “I really admire that about you.”

           Kim blinked. Well…that was…unexpected. He was always catching heat from someone (usually his coach) about being cocky, but to hear that someone actually liked that about him…?

           Wow, it had gotten really warm in here all of a sudden. Kim cleared his throat. Jeez, how had he not had enough water today? That was a problem—if he was going to run, he had to stay hydrated. He’d ask Nathanael for a break to do so in a few minutes.

           “Well, y’know…” he mumbled before petering off lamely, because he realized he had nowhere to go with that sentence. Nathanael seemed content to let it go, and silence fell between them once more as he sketched. Kim watched as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, teal eyes focused as he worked on capturing the rare sight of Kim in stillness. He really did love his craft—it was obvious to anyone who watched him work. Idly, Kim wondered how many people had seen his focused look, and could guess from it just how deeply Nathanael felt about his work…

           Nathanael glanced up again. Abruptly, Kim realized he was staring and glanced away, at the walls. It would’ve been clear that an artist lived here from just one look at the posters on the walls, ranging from well-known works that even Kim could name, to obscure pieces he had never seen before. Kim searched, squinting at the scribbled signatures on each piece, but none of them looked familiar…

           “You don’t hang your own art up in your room?”

           Nathanael’s eyes were back on his sketchbook as Kim looked at him; there was more to the furrow of his brows now.

           “Why would I do that?” He asked idly, as if the answer didn’t matter much. “I haven’t made anything good enough to share wall space with my inspirations.”

           “Whaaaaat?” Kim exclaimed in surprise, hastily adjusting his posture afterwards, for he had straightened in alarm. “Dude, I went to the school’s art exhibit last year—your stuff is great!”

           Nathanael smiled vaguely.

           “Thanks,” he replied, but it didn’t really sound like he meant it; it sounded like he was saying it just to be polite. “But I want to be a whole lot more than ‘great’ before I think about adding my own work up on the walls. Besides,” he muttered after a moment, and Kim watched with intrigue as red invaded Nathanael’s fair skin. “It’s…kind of embarrassing, hanging my own stuff up. Doesn’t it seem a little…cocky?”

           Kim snorted.

           “Dude, if you’re gifted, you should be able to look up and remind yourself of just how talented you are without having to apologize for it.” He winked. “Take it from a guy who gets called ‘cocky’ fifty times a day.”

           Nathanael smiled again, and it was that slow, secret smile that took its time curving his lips, his eyes bright with amusement.

           “Well…it’s not like the people who call you that don’t have a point—”

           “Hey!” Kim complained with a scowl that he couldn’t hold for very long when Nathanael started laughing. It seemed like he had never done that much in collegé…Kim was glad to see that he felt comfortable enough to do so now.

           The rest of their time was passed in back and forth banter, and when Nathanael finally announced that he was done, Kim made a show of stretching and sighing in relief, falling back on Nathanael’s bed. Oddly enough, however, there was a strange sense of let-down. Kim couldn’t place why at first…maybe because he’d been having so much fun that he kind of didn’t want it to end? He had always been one to overindulge, of course…

           He opened his eyes when a shadow fell over him, to find Nathanael leaning over him with an amused look.

           “Nap time?” He asked, and Kim snorted, propping himself up on his elbows. “I didn’t realize you modeling for me took so much out of you.”

           “Psh, I’m fine,” said Kim with a wave of his hand, his eyes going to Nathanael’s sketchbook, which sat abandoned upon his desk. “So, can I see it?”

           Nathanael’s eyes lit up.

           “You want to?”

           “Hell yeah!” Kim replied, a ‘duh’ tone included in his voice, though the way Nathanael looked so pleased that he wanted to see his work was…kind of endearing…

           Kim sat up fully as Nathanael went to retrieve his sketchbook, plopping down next to him before he passed it over, his expression laced with anticipation…and trepidation. It made Kim curious—was Nathanael afraid that Kim would hate it or something?

           “So?” Nathanael asked after Kim took the sketchbook and got a good look at the sketch. “What do you think?”

           “…”

           Kim heard the question…but honestly, he was having trouble articulating exactly how he felt about something that was so damn awesome. It was him, and yet, it was a better him, something Kim had no idea was possible—somehow, Nathanael had made his slouching form look regal and careless, like a prince upon his throne with the world dancing in the palm of his hand. There wasn’t a single detail Nathanael had gotten wrong, except for maybe his face, because Kim wasn’t sure that he looked that handsome…

           The abrupt thought that this was how Nathanael saw him struck Kim, and suddenly, his face was on fire.

           “…Um…”

           Nathanael’s soft voice brought Kim back to the present, and he looked over to find Nathanael looking at him anxiously, running a hand through his tied back hair self-consciously, the movement tugging his bangs loose so that they hung in his face, as if he wanted to hide himself from view.

           “Do you, uh…not like it?”

           “Dude, I love it,” Kim assured him immediately, because he could not stand to see the self-doubt in Nathanael’s eyes, couldn’t stand to see him think that this sketch was anything less than perfect. In fact, it was so perfect— “Can I have it?”

           Nathanael stared at him. Kim’s thoughts caught up with his mouth a second later, and he grimaced.

           “Well, I mean…I don’t know if you need it for class or whatever, but if it’s just practice—”

           “You…really want it?” Nathanael asked, as if he couldn’t believe it. Kim almost scoffed, but he didn’t. Instead, he held Nathanael’s gaze, willing him with everything he had to believe it when he said:

           “I really do.”

           Ah, and there was the slow-curving smile—no, no, wait. This one bypassed a smile—it was a full-on grin, as if Kim had positively delighted Nathanael. And it was a grin so bright that Kim felt himself swallow again, and slowly, an inkling occurred to him, that he might not be that thirsty after all…at least, not in that way…

           “Sure,” Nathanael agreed, and it took Kim a second to realize he was talking about the sketch rather than confirming the swirling thoughts in his head. Hand outstretched, he grasped the sketchbook. “Just let me sign it…”

           “Okay…” Kim would’ve watched him sign it, just to see the way Nathanael’s wrist moved as his pencil flicked across the page, marking the art as his…marking the sketch of Kim as his…but his phone distracted him, ringing in the silence. Cursing under his breath, Kim dug his phone out from one of his pockets to silence his daily alarm that told him to go to practice. Damn, he hadn’t realized how much time had passed…

           “I gotta go,” he announced, getting to his feet with a sort of reluctance he dully felt as he shrugged his shoulders. “Gotta continue leaving losers in my dust.”

           “Your teammates must love you,” Nathanael joked, tearing the used page of his sketchbook out, turning with a smile to hand the sketch over. “Well, good luck with practice. And thanks for your help.”

           “Anytime,” Kim said, though it was with a little more feeling than the last time he had uttered such words. Barely able to manage a parting wave, Kim left the room, his legs automatically moving as fast as they could go, as if to outpace his suddenly racing heart. It wasn’t until he left Nathanael’s dorm building that he looked down at the sketch, wondering where Nathanael had stuck his signature.

           He found it in an instant, tucked away in the crease of Sketch Kim’s neck. Almost like a kiss.

           Kim stared.

           That…was so goddamn cute.

           “Fuck,” he mumbled to himself without any real negativity, feeling pleasantly surprised and tingly all over as his face heated, all from such a simple gesture. His next words, though he had never spoken them before, were still matter of fact: “I’m gay.”

There may be a sequel to this in the future that’s a little more...intimate, shall we say. ;)

Hope you enjoyed! <3

~Reyna