#kiki's journal entry: july 2017

[kikippe]

July 2017 (1) 🌻

Hewwwlooo! :D

I promised that I’d write more in my post earlier this year, BUT. same old same old. So, long story short to keep me posting regularly I decided to post based on the journal entry prompt I found on pinterest. 

With this I hope I could keep writing regularly (HA!) 

There ya go!

Here’s the prompt btw, kudos to Elizabeth McNair who made this <3

Lets roll!

July 1st: what’s the most important to me? 

Allah. Family. Close friends. Kindness. 

Dream used to be important but after knowing whats on reality, it isn’t anymore

July 2nd: my best trait?

If i have to pick one, ummm i love people and have a golden heart? It’s easy for ppl to like me (but noted that i find it hard for a guy to love me idk what is wrong with me ck. this is serious asf i’m not joking lols)

July 3rd: A movie that makes me happy? Mary-kate and ashley’s

July 4th: something that excites me? 

Upcoming concert(s). I’m not going for the concerts bc everybody elses going nowadays yknow what i mean yeah? It’s just bc i love to attend gigs (any gig) since forever. (I’m gonna make my own gigs-o-graphy later hehee)

July 5th: something that worries me?

Research -.- how am I going to get through all of this but I also want to publish my work huhu :(

July 6th: Action that I admire?

Accept ones fault then be responsible for it. 

It’s a hard thing to do yknow.

July 7th: A time of transition?

When i was in uni after HS. My HS sucks a lot. But i found bunch of lifetime friends there 💓🌻. I had a time of my life at uni but not really bc several things and bc the major was a total bitch but i could say so. My hyyh 💛💛 <3

July 8th: how did I feel today? 

Incredibly happy bc several things including my dinner outing with friends from the institute who are japanese! :) we had korean food that time whootswhoots. Full of academia jokes but wow I made friends who aren't foreigners here finally? LMAO. And also, as always, kuki 💓 my friend and i made this bts as a scientist thread and we cracked up so much but sadly no one will understand our jokes unless he/shes in academia AND knows BTS 🤣🤣 which is none i guess? *SSSAD*

I’m gonna make this into like maybe four part because I answered some questions on that day longer than the others lols.

Nasty summer is here and I hate this season v muchhhhh :(

[kikippe]

July 2017 (4) 🌻🌻🌻🌻

HEWLO IT’S ME AGAIN YEHAAA 

lets roll not drool (keep repeating this kiki. you lame human being)

July 16th: A letter to someone else

Wait whattttt? honestly like honestly I’ve never ever ever ever made a letter to someone else like?? (yeah you count a word or two or two thousands in postcards as letter? no) but ANYWAY. lies. hahah. ok. oh no. ok, here we go. don’t hate me. don’t. pls have mercy. don’t yell, don’t. don’t judge. DON’T. Ok. here we go tea time. *sipping tea coolly trying not to choke* just exactly one year ago, i might or might not make a letter for kuki after the epilogue and i’m gonna regret this my whole life and i’m gonna laugh and cry if i read the letter all over again it’s a top secret nobody except me ofc knows what it is not even kuki himself ok? ok. i’ve just spilled the beans here maybe i’ll regret this seconds later. and OH FUCKMYLIFE. FIN.

July 17th: I always….

Drink milk everyday since forever! except that one time after I was on exchange program for 1 year where I gained 7kgs++ because I drank milk like I drank water SUP!! but anyway after I went back to my initial weigh (mostly because one hella exam I BARELY WENT THROUGH) I’m back to my lovely lovely routine again. Milk is life milk is love. It makes you healthy yeh. fight me. 

July 18th: A list of things you like

Define things like umm or else i’ll have indefinite list of things I like. lmao nope jkjk ok here we go. 

1. Sunny days. (I hate rain and I’m one of those ppl who don’t find rainy days as comforting days for a perfect contemplating mood with a cupppa tea and blahblah blah. no offense but rainy days make me feel cranky, not in the mood, sorrow associated day, etc etc etc deffo not likey)

2. my family, my close friends

3. my friends, and ppl in general (but shuh shtty people)

4. kuki <3 and bangtan hahah (I wrote hahah)

5. story abt shenanigans and cracks bc crack is love crack is life

6. everything dusty pink

7. my entire itunes library 

8. my messy room here bc this is the only place that feels like home in this entire nation (OOOOU CH)

9. summer music fest!

10. DID I SAY GIGS?

11. meaningful and cracky ff with as rational as possible characterization

12. intelligent ppl with angel like personality YOU ARE GEMS.

13. chicken, tofu, CIKI, kerupuk

14. godiva milk choco esgrim

15. kuki’s voice in entire bangtan’s songs

16. kuki’s voice in all of his covers

17. kuki’s outfits. kuki’s hair. kuki’s nose. kuki’s bunny teeth. (I HAVE TO STOP I AM A CREEP)

18. f.r.i.e.n.d.s

19. ripped jeans

20. Malory Towers (entire series are gold)

21. karaoke even though my voice is MEH kayak komeng katanya lmao

22. tbbt bc now it relates as fak

23. intriguing issues in science (there it is nerd kiki)

24. GOOD EXPERIMENTAL DATA (WHO TF DOESN’T?)

25. sunrise & sunset (my fav time of the day is during golden hour!)

I SHOULD STOP, and the list goes on hehe

July 19th: A question that needs to be asked

TBVH I have PLENTY. can it be questionS instead? ok just like top 5?

1. How much longing has to fall like snow for a better days to come? 

(I might or might not just recite the spring days lyrics with modification FORGIVE ME LMAO)

ok seriously

2. hello soulpartner where you at??? (as yoongi said we’re not australians so, soulpartner it is)

3. why do jpnse like to suffer in everything? (waaay too risky question)

4. when will i have a clear skin, appropriate weigh, be able to meet kuki in person, be able to meet my future+1, have a good experimental data, and able to publish my works on notable journal like em lets say NATURE?

haha ok seriously though this is the real question

5. what is the underlying mechanism behind the voltagedependency of P2Xreceptor? (BAMMMMM)

(forgive me)

July 20th: What do you need?

Love in whatever form that it takes

(clouds playing in bgm)

July 21st: your summer playlist?

1. Lightning in a bottle - the summer set

2. Pizza (Kai Takahashi remix) - oohyo

3. Heart Break - Lady Antebellum

4. Afterglow - all time low

5. Teenage dirtbag - wheatus

6. Purple teeth - LANY

7. I’m the one - dj khaled and the gang 

8. All my friends - snakeships

9. Soldier - before you exit

10. I’ll be there for you - cheeze

11. Home - michael buble

and

12. entire library of my all time fav bts songs just bc. (around 10 in total i guess?) HEHE <3

July 22nd: What inspires you?

Basically many things but I’m gonna focus on one particular thing here. The story of successful and NICE people esp in science / academia / research industry. success could mean anything from having work and life balance between academia and having a family (it’s fooking hard!), finish your study, getting through whatever obstacles we’ll have during the research that is in the end it could get you publish your hard work in the place you want to! I might not be able to put this as I wanted to, but by going to an academic conference and meet a lot of incredible people having a cool project in science inspires me a lot to finish what I’ve started. yup. nuff said. bc there was this time a friend asked me what makes me want to finish my study while other people (from my major back in uni) are already got tired from studying. well basically it’s two things in general, I wanna become as great as people I meet in conferences and two, my beloved country’s condition rn (SNORTED). 

July 23rd: What do you want less of?

Less complaining, less asking why am I suffering here (passed through this already but sometimes just sometimes it hits me back lmao), and less worrying so much about stuff. 

Weeeee almost finish for July! <3 

SUMMER IS HERE I AM SUFFERING EVERYDAY HEWLPPPPPP

(and my experiment is no good nowadays WHYYYYYYYYYY ON EARTH WHY)

(additional suffering)

[kikippe]

July 2017 (3) 🌻🌻🌻

So, as now we’re still in July 15th, but i think I gotta post the rest until today (3 more i guess) even though it’ll be short but I’ll edit this post and add the question per day as we go! 

ANYWAYYYYYY, today is July 15th! means! It’s been a year since I came to epilogue on stage live jp edition in ngo! *SCREAMS IN ARABIC* first concert after the storms I got year before that got me back to my sense (gig-wise, and life-wise in general lmao, there I type lmao) I’m gonna edit some of audio sounds which I haven’t posted before because I gotta put: miss right, INU, and whalien live somewhere on the web. they’re total gems *cries* AND THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THAT (if only they care to read this shitty post LMAO)

anyway (9999) lets roll not drool (thafak?)

July 13th:  what you wore today? 

My fav minty green blouse (super light super loose because it’s hot asf i can’t with jp nasty summer hewlp) that i got frm my auntie, i think she bought it at primark lols

Strdivrs’ MOM fitted jeans JUST BECAUSE. Yknow give your thighs a rest :))

Strdivrs’ gucci look a like black loafers bc I am not taetae I couldn’t afford gucci thankyou v much.

My one and only and current fav olivia burton’s black flowery watch that I got from my cuzzy (after threatening him lmao nope jk jk)

With the usual black midi long champ bc i just have one particular bag 🤣🤣 and it has to be black so i don’t have to think how to match (I passed that phase back in uni when I have lotsa coloured FAKE longchamps to match with my omg outfit choices what even 🤣🤣🤣 dark days) at least this one is genuine :)))) because i’m a grown ass woman (really kiki this is how you define grown up?) thats why i just have one. :))).

And i always bring my kuki’s fan in the summer w/ me since last year. (Not something i wear but who cares i just want to mention this important stuff. Ya hear me?) please just deal with my sht

July 14th: how are you creative

UGH. Ok first I’m not good with words let alone writing so I’ll prolly just mess this up while trying to explain my point. Or i’ll miss the point of this question entirely in the middle, or right from the start. My brain though. You’ve been warned. 

Umm, I think I just slightly above of creativity level which the average human being has. I got my own sense of aestheshit (I like to call this one rather than aesthetic bc I AM OBVS NOT) even though it’s not on 10k pins on pinterest or 100k reblogs on tumblr OR 1M likes on instagram level YET. I’d say I could take a good picture bc i love taking picture but it depends on my mood, mostly I focused more on portrait and I think this is just because of my nature on liking human being in general :)). Sometimes I take a decent pict with scenery too :p. Speaking of scenic pict, I love sky the most so I always take beyond extra effort (I guess this is more extra than the average ppl who love the sky as much as me). BUT sadly I still haven’t found the decent rooftop / hills around here to watch the sunset. So mostly I’m channeling my creative ass to take decent pict from my sad sad balcony (BECAUSE IT’S ONLY ON 2nd lvl sad hahah) or in the middle of the sea of jp ppl throwing weird look at this weird af foreigner lifting her phone up just to take the pict of twilight. (but jp has a beautiful twilight in all seasons SIGH I GOTTA ADMIT THS) 

P.S: my creativity lvl in every single aspect of creativity that exists in this world will sky rocket to level 999999 overload in one day before any deadline I have.

P.S.S: I don’t like to use other people picts (like from pinterest or something) to be put in any of my identification (the heck is this? I mean my profile pict or something like that haha, but reblogging is totally a different thing ok bc you TOOK CREDIT FOR THAT) I know this is not related but I just wanna say I respect peoples works (even though they don’t mind, but I’m sure that 85% of em won’t like it) and my works are nothing compare to tons of aestheshit picts out there but at least they are mine and i’m proud of em! :*

July 15th: the best part of summer

SUMMER MUSIC FEST AKA THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH IDK A DISNEYLAND YOU HEAR ME. 

full stop. heart eyes. huge grins. and a freaking boom boom heart. 

[kikippe]

July 2017 (2) 🌻🌻

July 9th: what do you spend your time thinking about? 

Mostly uncertain future bc it scares tf outta me and by future means many things from research, unknown future +1, insecurities in life, my rather sad life here when you look from others point of view (not from mine anymore bc i accept it, really), lessons i got from the ffs i read, jjk (IMPORTANT MATTER), my financial plans, things i want to buy, photography project, lens i want to buy but i’m broke asf rn, my aestheshit project, etc etc.

Sometimes also i think about how everyone should get an equal chance / rights for education bc it’s important and i’m v sad abt the reality sigh. What i learned until now, umm idk if anyones agree with me but you missed a lot of good/great things w/o a proper education. I could make this a-10 page of drabbles, nah i should stop.

And oh but I don’t questions whats been there been here in our life, what is life and all those deepsht convos which pinterest even provide a list of (thafffaaak mate? lol i’m having my eyebrows furrowed massively looking at those questions) thats not my cup of tea. Haha. Yknow like philosophical shits and something like that? No thanks my brain’s exhausted already thinking about research and how to save human being using said research in which we couldn’t. And why don’t we just accept things (the right things to be exact) as the way they are, i mean for things that are already here and that have already been explained clearly before (if that makes you confuse abt what i mean but you got it? whatevs just hmu in case you don’t and i’ll explain). 

July 10th: what year has been your best so far?

This is really hard to pick bc my best times always come with a price which is super tough time after. Like in 2010, 2011, and 2014. Super happy yet toughest time apart from ujian apoteker period in 2013.

In 2010 i got to prove my self i could stand up in front of a very large intl audience i got elected for a position that I wanted to be. In seoul. Can you imagine that kiki the shy girl from the bleachers could do something like that? I wanted to runaway seconds before they called my name at that time btw bc it was just too much lol but i (barely, safely) made it. Ugh self . I went to japan too for the first time! So it was incredibly amazing time of my life i reached my goals and got a remarkably good mark in uni too (like highest gpa in my entire semesters in uni whooots)!! But after that (in between this time) came the downfall. SEP in ITB. Nuff said. Guess i learned a lot how to manage people and how to be a good leader in which at that time I wasn’t one, at all. Huhu.

In 2011 i got to spend 1 year in tokyo, i got my own dorm and live by myself just what i always dreamed of and also met someone whom i really likeD this year. But yeah it came with heavy angst, before i went to tokyo and during my tokyo time. When i was in tokyo, angsts mostly related to my poor poor heart but still. Guess i didn’t know what love was back then. (EMANG SKRG TAU JIR wkwk)

In 2014 i got to spend eid with my fam in melbourne and i fall in love with this city really!!! Beautiful place to live! (Or now i’m thinking maybe bc i was with my fam there bc tokyo used to be homey as well hahahaha) Been in my very first road trip under the southern star. Can’t describe how beautiful it is. I went to many places this year: tokyo, spore, melb, sydney, bali, tokyo again w/ my fam & my close friends and it gave so much memories to be cherished whole heartedly and then i came to okazaki and one of the toughest times in my life began. I literally cried everyday at the fourth quarter of 2014 smh.

I’m picturing best year(s) in such a pretty dull definition right? right? but as basic as it is, achieving goals, spending time w/ families and friends, going to a whole new places, getting new experiences that not everyone could have it, are indeed the right things to sum up whatsocalled bestyear :D.

So, umm major happiness always comes with a price. And pls don’t do this to me again ToT (the price for major happiness ofc, but happiness? I always pray for it everyday)

July 11th: Who do you trust?

Allah & myself. Don’t try to depend on ppl. It stated as well on holy quran right? So, yeah nuff said. But to trust yourself is something else, i think you have to trust God, and then yourself for everything 😆😆

July 12th: A song from your childhood

Sleeping child - michael learns to rock

First english song (an american band i guess? Lol) that i could sing pretty well on karaoke (at home ofc, whtcuthink i was just 5?) is sleeping child. Turned out the lyrics is beautiful :3 i understand it xxxxx years later lmao yea i used to be v sucks in english like ???? (and now I still am! – yknow just getting better A BIT) 🤣🤣