#kickassleslie

[girlglassestheotherone]

I don’t know where anyone in the parks fam is but I hope you are prospering

[alwaysbethisclose]

Happy birthday!! Hope it's a good one! 🎉🎂🎈🎊

Thanks Nat!!!!!

[nutriyumaddict]

I just saw @galentines post about it being her birthday in an hour and a half (less than that now!) and I wrote a quick birthday drabble.

Welcome to your late twenties, Caity! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3

Agghhhh, it’s @kickassleslie‘s birthday too! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I hope you both have a great year ahead!

“What do you want for your birthday next month?” Leslie asks, snuggling closer under the covers.

It's still early, but she can tell Ben is awake. At least he is now after she rubbed her foot against his calf and said his name a few times.

"Hmmmmm," Ben answers, his voice all low and still groggy-sounding. "Lazy weekends in bed. The whole month of November."

"No Ben, I'm serious."

She watches as his eyes snap open. "No. Babe. I am being serious. What if we just sleep in every Sat--"

"No, no, that’s not a real present. But what about a party?"

He's looking at her fully now, turned onto his side. "Well, hold on. I feel like we're moving on from the whole sleeping in thing a little too fast."

"Okay. You can have Saturdays. We'll both stay in bed together until...8:00."

A lot of the time, Ben will stay in bed by himself, but she's usually up by 7:00. And then he’ll complain that he had no one to snuggle with. It’s not that she doesn’t like snuggling with her husband of course, Leslie just has a lot of projects to work on and he’s usually still snoring when she wakes up.

Ben makes a face and tugs her closer. "You mean 10:00?"

"How about 9:00?" She counter-offers. "Pajamas optional after 8:30."

He nods slowly and starts grinning, all while reaching around to squeeze her butt. "Deal."

"Okay. Now that we have that settled, I was thinking, what about a party for your birthday? We can have...a 90s theme!"

Ben closes his eyes again, but she can tell he's paying attention. Ben has a lot of important early morning bed conversations with his eyes closed. "Oh. That sounds interesting."

"You know, 90s clothes, 90s music, 90s food."

"What's 90s food?"

"Um, Zimas, ring pops...Lunchables? Okay, I need to research that a little, but I think--"

He cuddles even closer. "Can it be the early 90s? The early 90s were the best. Oh, and also Automatic for the People came out in ‘92."

"U2?"

"No. REM, Leslie." He actually looks a little offended and hurt now, as he stares right at her. Well, that certainly woke him up.

"Right. Sorry."

"Do I need to make the chart again with the history of 90s alternative acts and how a lot were influenced in one way or another by a little band from Athens, Georgia? Hmm, I don’t have any paper, but it all started in 1980 when--"

"No. No, no,” she pats his chest. “That's okay, honey. Wait. Hold on. Oh my god, I've got it! Get ready to love me a lot in a minute."

He smiles at her. "I love you a lot right now. Even if you think Automatic for the People is a U2 album."

She ignores that, even if he is smirking adorably when he says it. "How about a roller skating birthday bash with an early '90s theme! We rent out the whole Pawnee Roller Rink and..." Leslie trails off, winking at him.

"Roller skating? As in roller skates?" His expression does nothing to hide his interest. His very interested interest. "We’d have a party at the roller rink and you’d be wearing skates all night?"

"Uh-huh," she gives him a sly grin. "Alllll niiiight. In skates. The purple roller skates."

Ben moans.

The last time she put on her purple skates for him was a couple of months ago and she was just wearing those and her underwear. They started making out in the living room almost immediately and he'd ended up bending her over the couch and fucking her like that.

It was so awesome.

"Oh my god. I do love you a lot," he confirms.

"Mmmmm." Even though she was just about to get out of bed and go make coffee and start working on a scrapbook for Ann, Leslie smiles into his kiss and starts giggling when Ben slowly begins to slide her pajama bottoms down.

"What? It's after 8:30 somewhere," he says, lightly nipping at the skin of her neck.

It's not his birthday month quite yet, but she's not complaining.

[mantzouks]

12 18 30

12. dog person or cat person?

Dog person, but I do truly love cats and am planning to get one when I graduate!

18. what’s your patronus?

Pottermore said I’m a buzzard, which like.. what the fuck? I like to think I’m an elephant. 

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

This is from Everything Is Illuminated, which is my favorite book: “If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it walls, and we will furnish it with soft, red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweller's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does.”

[galentines]

👀👅✌

Ship you're curious about:

I feel like I don’t have an answer for this, unless it means like, ship you saw from a fandom you’re not a part of but it looks nice. I would say Jake/Amy from Brooklyn 99. I never watched past season 1, and I know I’m too lazy to go back, but I wish I could for that ship.

Ship that you find most sexy:

I don’t think I will ever consume as much smut for any ship as I have for Ben/Leslie

Ship that you find cute but don't ship:

Ohhhh so controversial tbh, and I do think they go past “cute”, but Steve/Peggy. I totally completely get it, I think they’re so lovely in the first Cap, and its tragic what happened. But I’m okay with it, I really loved Peggy with Daniel on the show, and watching her process losing Steve on the show just made me feel like, I’m okay with it. I don’t hang onto that ship in any major way.

[sullenaquarian]

A get to know me meme...

Tagged by magical meerkat @ballroompink

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better: @kickassleslie @gaysun @halesnoelle @running-rabbit @c00kie28 @i-relish-your-wit @ozthecat @ryeloza @mediumsizedfountain

relationship status:  I’m gonna die alone

favourite colour(s): Green, purple, brown

lipstick or chapstick?: Lip glosses with hints of color but I own more straight up lipsticks than I used to

last song I listened to: Time the Avenger (the Pretenders)

top 3 shows: Parks and Recreation, The X-Files, The Rachel Maddow Show

top 3 ships: Elizabeth/Darcy, Leslie/Ben, Female characters/Empowerment

[waffle-sjunior-blog]

kickassleslie

STEPHANIE/DAWN BROMANCE :')

The next gen Leslie/Ann 

sullenaquarian

Stephanie/Stephen's firm believe in her/his awesomeness always makes me happy.

I firmly believe this is a trait Leslie instilled in all of her children but they really run with it

[everyoneisbisexual-blog]

2035

“Good morning, sunshine,” a voice next to Westley said. Westley woke up and instinctively turned around towards the other person in bed.

“Good morning, Oliv-AHHHHHH!” Westley screamed before sitting up and jumping out of the bed, a not easy feat, considering he was in the top bunk of his college dorm room.

“You’re right, that was funny!” the girl laughed from the top bunk to the two standing in the doorway, clutching their sides with laughter. Westley looked at one of them.

“Oliver, I don’t know who that is, but I swear I did not cheat on you.”

“I know, Wes, we switched places three minutes ago,” Oliver said.

“What?” 

“Yeah, when you actually sleep, you are out,” Sonia added. Westley looked over to the girl in his bed, who he could now see was wearing a shirt and jeans.

“And who is this?” Westley asked.

“I’m Joanna,” she said, nodding to Sonia, “Sonia’s girlfriend.” Westley smiled and looked over at his sister. 

“So everyone you date has to have the same name?” Westley asked Sonia.

“Like everyone you date has the same mom?” Sonia asked back.

“What’s your last name, Joanna?” Westley said.

“Samson.” At that, Westley gave Sonia a look. 

“Shut up,” Sonia said, crossing her arms.

“You wanna go get something to eat?” Oliver politely asked Joanna, who said yes and climbed out of the bunk bed. 

“Wait until you meet the third one,” Oliver said as they walked out, “He’s even weirder.” The two walked out of the dorm and shut the door behind them. 

“She seems nice,” Westley said, walking over to where his sister stood. 

“She is.”

“Is she a vegan?”

“No!”

“Is she a German castle owner?”

“No, not everyone I date is the same person, Westley.”

“They all have the same initials.”

“Hey, I heard you told Oliver the L word last night,” Sonia asked, a smile on her face.

“I did,” Westley said. 

“Nice. Bi five!” Sonia and Westley high fived and Sonia laughed.

“What now?”

“He drew a mustache on your face while you were asleep.”

[bookwormm03]

emmylovestv replied to your post “Alone [Secret Service]”

What are you doing to us!!

Look, I did not plan for this, it’s probably Ben’s fault. ;) 

kickassleslie replied to your post “Alone [Secret Service]”

omg i legit screamed out loud dammmmn. very well done.

Hahaha. Thank youuu!!!

nutriyumaddict replied to your post “Alone [Secret Service]”

omg! I can barely take this! You are evil and delightful! <3

I am evil, it is true. I’m glad you liked it <3. 

[c00kie28]

Van Gogh, Kahlo

van gogh: where is your go-to positive place when you’re feeling down/sad and what do you usually do? 

I usually talk it over with my friends and they remind me that people suck and I am great and everyone else can suck it.

And also I take a nap.

kahlo: what is a pro-tip/lesson that you learned from your past? 

That as smart as you think you are at this current moment in your life, in a few years you will look back and realize you were an idiot. and honestly, this is something that tumblr doesn’t get, but it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to not be perfect. Just learn from them, apologize (mean it) and do better.

[girlglassestheotherone]

Parks and Rec The Next Generation and Why Each Characters Are Friends (Future Sonia edition)

As inspired by a chat with my tumblog wife @kickassleslie

Sonia and Oliver are best friends who bond over their mutual love of math and being total nerds. In more complicated ways that I think Parks and Rec doesn’t hold up anymore, they also love hunting with Ron Swanson. But in this perfect future they are just nature nerds together. Sonia does kiss Oliver after a mathlete competition because Sonia has a crush on Oliver and both have been told most of their lives by their moms that they would make a cute couple. They go on a few dates but it doesn’t work out because Oliver is gay and Sonia is only half gay. I used to be bi I can make that joke. They are each other’s soulmates and are together in the universe where the soulmates are with each other. There they have five kids, Oliver is a stay at home dad/successful children’s book writer (they are all books about math) and Sonia becomes a lawyer – judge – Supreme Court justice. In the Soap Opera universe they are also together but it’s dramatic because Sonia’s twins were actually fathered by her lover John, who was cheating on his boyfriend Stephen, and she was also cheating on John with his twin Dawn who wears an eyepatch and Westley is lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

Sonia and Leslie Perkins Traeger who I decided everyone calls LC because I decided her middle name is Christine are not immediately besties unfortunately after the families all move back to Pawnee. That is because the finale decided to have that scene where Leslie and Ann think Oliver and Sonia are going to be a future couple instead of the much cuter scene where Sonia and LC are talking and their moms say future best friends!! Which is the finale’s only flaw. Plus initially Oliver and Sonia are in the same classes until LC skips a grade and Sonia thinks LC is kind of mean because she was kind of a bully to her brother Oliver as a child. It takes a few Galentines Days for LC and Sonia to finally become friends, especially after they join rival roller derby teams and are briefly enemies, Sonia as captain of the Eagleton Eagles and LC as captain of the Pawnee Bread Factory Fires. Sonia has a crush on LC but it’s not reciprocated because LC is tragically heterosexual except in the Unexpected Pairings universe which is something I decided is a universe where someone on AO3 put Stephen and Oliver (instead of my canon Oliver and Westley) together. In that universe LC is a dancer while her wife Sonia is a congresswoman, Senator and then President. In the soap opera universe they are back to being enemies and Sonia blames LC for Westley being lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED

Sonia and John are the biggest jocks of the Parks and Rec TNG world, they spend a lot of time briefly trying to defeat each other at various sports, much to the disinterest of their friends. Due to their competition they are both no longer allowed at the Pawnee bowling alley. They love animals even if John can’t understand why Sonia likes eating them. They are the couple I would ship in every universe: Sonia/Dawn, Samuel Knope Wyatt/John, Samuel/Dawn, even when in the universe where Sonia is technically married to Oliver and the Soap Opera universe where twins John and Dawn exist and Dawn has an eyepatch, and is actually the reason Westley is lost at sea OR WAS HE PUSHED there’s also a normal universe where twins John and Dawn exist but Sonia and just Dawn are the couple and the triplets are constantly asking them where’s the rest to the twins. In every Sonia/Dawn or John universe Sonia follows her mom’s path to governor/POTUS after being an 19 year old mayor while John/Dawn are basketball coaches except in the soap opera one where their job is wearing an eyepatch and being mysterious

[nutriyumaddict]

Thank you so much for tagging me @merger-she-wrote and @bookwormm03 - both delightful and stunning goddesses!

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better: @galentines @emmylovestv @benwyattforcongress @sakurablossomstorm-blog @benjis-cool-times @sandwichbasedworldview @supervanillabear31 @kickassleslie @lernernerner-dicarpricorn - sorry, I have no idea who has already done this/who wants to do something like this - do it if you want ;-)

relationship status: so married

favourite colour(s): green

lipstick or chapstick?: lipstick if I’m leaving the house, chapstick if I’m not

last song I listened to:  Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground

top 3 shows: Parks & Rec, and then for the other two, two that I am watching right now (not top of all time) - People of Earth, You’re the Worst

top 3 ships: Leslie & Ben, Donna & Josh, Olivia & Peter

[galentines]

Happy birthday to my fave bday twin!!!!🎉🎂🎈 Obama is lucky to share a birthday with such fabulous people 😉 wishing you all the best Caity!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BACK AT YOU, I LOVE YOU AND ALSO OBAMA!!

[waffle-sjunior-blog]

“Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?” - Ben Wyatt, bisexual

Happy Birthday to my Tumblr Wife the incredible Nat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aka @kickassleslie, aka my Westley in the triplet squad, an amazing artist, scientist, poet?, and bowling alley vigilante. Thanks for being my head canon enabler/supporter. partner in secret-ing and co creator of the triplets, although this ended up not being a triplet drabble. 

2011

“I’ve missed this,” Ben said, snuggling next to Leslie after their reunion sex, happily being the little spoon again even if it meant Leslie pretending to be a jetpack later.

“I’m so glad we made that little area into a little park,” Leslie said, kissing Ben on the neck. “And we can just stay here forever.”

“Eventually we’ll have to talk to Chris about,” Ben started to say. Leslie cut him off by making jetpack noises, indicating she didn’t want to talk about it at the moment.

“Hey, Ben,” Leslie asked after an hour of jetpacking, a task made more difficult because Ben was technically dead and therefore a ghost. They moved over and Ben wrapped his arm around the little spoon and waited for her to continue speaking, “Did you, um, did you ever have a time, you know Shauna Malwae Tweep is actually a lovely person.”

“I never went out with Shauna Malwae Tweep while we were broken up,” Ben said.

“Oh,” Leslie said, confused, “Not that it matters, but a gorgeous sea lion named Ann might have mentioned that you went out on a blind date, not that it matters, I’m sure she was intelligent and lovely and I hope Hot Rebecca is very happy even though she missed out on being your girlfriend.”

“I did go on a date,” Ben said, letting the words out slowly, trying to remember the actual date, set up by his brother when he visited Henry’s family. “His name was not Hot Rebecca, actually, it was Trevor. Super boring, worked for the Chicago parks and re-,” Ben stopped mid-sentence, noticing Leslie had turned around and was facing him, staring him down intensely.

“Did you just say someone who works for a parks and rec department was boring?”

“I didn’t mean, he was just boring personally,” Ben insisted.

“We’re broken up again!”

“What? Why?”

“I’m kidding,” Leslie said, kissing Ben on the nose, “But if you ever go out with someone else in parks and say they’re boring,” Leslie stopped, realizing that would never happen because she never wanted break up with Ben again and it finally hit her what that meant. “I’m ready to talk to Chris tomorrow.”

“Good.”

[andrewgarfieldloveslasagna]

2034

sorry

“Congrats again, Mayor Knope Wyatt,” Stephen said to into his end of the phone, which he had not dialed, but instead said it loud enough for the woman next to him at the bar to hear.

“On being elected mayor at age twenty,” he continued, “YOU MUST HAVE HAD A GREAT CAMPAIGN MANAGER.”

“You think you’re real cute, don’t you, Knope Wyatt,” Jen Barkley moved slightly in her bar stool to face him. Stephen put down his phone and took a sip of his drink.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Barkley, I know that I’m real cute.” Jen laughed and waved over the bartender.

“Let me buy you another drink, Stephen. What are you having?”

“Um, a coke?”

“One rum and coke for the kid,” Jen barked, “And I’ll have another Leslie Knope.” The bar had named a drink after the governor. 

“Actually, just a coke. I’m twenty.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jen winked.

“Sorry your dumbass candidate lost,” he said, referring to some Michigan senator whose campaign had gone under weeks before the election due to a scandal involving I don’t know, robots.

“He was an idiot. I couldn’t have gotten him elected in my prime. And I got Deez Nuts elected president.”

“You’ll win next time.”

“There’s not going to be a next time, I’m retiring.”

“You can’t retire, you’re Jen fucking Barkley!” Stephen took a sip of his drink and spat it out. “Rum is disgusting. From now on, no more alcohol. Just pot.”

“I know, I’m incredible, but I’m almost,” she paused, not wanting the word to come out, “sixty.”

“That’s impossible. I would have guessed you were 100.”

“I almost liked you for a second, Knope Wyatt.”

“Well, it’s slip ups like that that cost elections, Barkley. You’re really getting soft in your old age.”

“Don’t get too cocky kid, you won an election handed to your sister on a silver platter. And you’re like, twelve.”

“Bitch, I’m 22. I am so sorry, I never call women that and I’m not twe--” before Stephen could finish, Jen had leaned close and kissed him. He was briefly startled, but decided to go with it and kissed her back. She’s hot for a 59 year old, was the text he sent his brother. Gross, Westley had texted back.

[everyoneisbisexual-blog]

Witch AU

“I don’t think I should be here,” Dawn said, holding up a tiara and gingerly placing it on her head. Sonia beamed at her in her own matching tiara and kissed Dawn on the cheek.

“Look how cute we look together,” Sonia said, holding Dawn’s hand and pointing towards one of the closest mirrors. “We’re going to be the cutest couple at the prom.” LC stepped out of the dressing room wearing the fifth dress she had tried on.

“After me and Stephen,” LC said, twirling around in front of a full length mirror. She waved at her clones, each wearing one of the maybe dresses. “What do you think, Soso?”

“I like the one clone 3 is wearing,” Sonia said. The LC clone wearing a necklace that had the number 3 smiled at Sonia. A flash of green light popped in the room and John stood where Dawn was. He was already covering his eyes with one hand.

“No one’s changing, Swanson, you don’t have to cover your eyes,” LC said,

“He’s so proper and polite, I love that,” another clone said. LC turned to herself and hissed. 

“Number 5, you’ve got to stop being so nice to Swanson. We only like Dawn!”

“Yeah, speaking of that,” John said, still covering his eyes, “Sonia, can I ask, did you want to go to the prom with me or with Dawn?” Sonia looked at him as if the answer was obvious.

“Yes,” Sonia said, “I like both of you. We can rent a dress for Dawn to wear and a tux for John.”

“Um, ok,” John said, “But is there one of us you like more, or,”

“That’s so heteronormative,” clone number 1 said, “We should wear a tux and Stephen should wear a dress! He would, you know, Stephen is so open minded and handsome and sexy and tall.”

“You need to cool it, number 1,” LC said, placing a hand on her clone’s shoulder. She turned and walked over to Sonia and now, Dawn. “Clones, am I right?”

“Number 1′s kind of obsessed with Stephen,” Dawn said. “And since when is Stephen tall?”

“Yeah, well, that’s how they work,” LC said, taking the third tiara Sonia handed her and placing it on her head. “2 is in love with Westley, 3 loves Sonia.”

“Only as a friend,” Sonia muttered regrettably under her breath.

“4 is really nice to Oliver and 5 likes John even when he’s not Dawn, who I actually tolerate. I think 5 is like when you make a copy of a copy of a tape,” LC continued. 

“We look like princesses!” Sonia said to their reflection, not really paying attention to the others. “No. Queens.”

“Actually, we feel exactly what you feel, LC” clone number 4 said in a sing song. “You secretly want to be nice to Oliver. That’s me.”

“I guess, but I don’t still don’t like John,” LC said.

“Don’t we?” clone number 5 said, winking at Dawn. 

“Crap,” LC said.