#kiana is a dork
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fukimei-incorrect-quotes ¡ 1 year ago
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Mei: Kiana... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Kiana: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Mei:…
Hua: I wrote sanitize, Kiana.
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inferusrf ¡ 11 months ago
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Chapter 2 of Purple-White Irises is out on Ao3!
Purple Kia in the shops, what will she do?
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LOOK AT THESE FUCKING DORK ASS NERDS
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THE WAY MEI IS HOLDING KIANA.... THEY'RE SO IN LOVE...
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gentlehousenicole ¡ 1 month ago
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UPDATE: These headcanons are now out of date given the plot details revealed in v.1.4.
----------------------------------------------------------------------- Something I really like about the current (likely) Void Hunters is the role they play in the story and within their respective factions.
Miyabi is set up as this mysterious badass who goes up against Nineveh singlehandedly, but we soon learn she's a complete dork who tries and hilariously fails to pass on “sage wisdom” to Phaethon and Zhu Yuan. Officially, she's the head of Section 6, but she's lazy and in their episode we find out it's really Yanagi who's that team's effective leader, and the only one who can keep them even quasi-functional. She's the one who “Virtual Revenge” is about. Miyabi, by contrast, just hangs back and conserves her energy for the really big fights. Her possible parallels and looming conflict with Phaethon, however, are tantalizing.
Lighter is introduced early in the Sons of Calydon story, but we don't actually learn anything much about him until long after Chapter 4 has concluded. He has this epic story of triumph, tragedy, grief, acceptance and moving on to a new life, but it's all told in aside comments, flashbacks and paratext, Even today he's fighting a one-man war against the enemies of the Sons of Calydon that nobody on the team (save probably Burnice, because Burnice is probably some kind of Elder God herself /lh) even knows about, because their story isn't about him. Lighter is almost the definition of “Hero from Another Story”.
Jane straight-up abandoned her identity and sense of self to become this unknowable, mercurial force: She slips so effortlessly into whatever undercover identity and personality any given mission requires of her, because we learn next to nothing about the “real” Jane, and even when we do the shadow of the unreliable narrator is inescapable. The hints we do glean indicate she's been through quite a lot, and is fighting for justice her own way on her own terms. Jane doesn't seem to have much Love for Public Security, if any at all, and isn't an official PubSec officer. She certainly seems commanding, inspiring and experienced, however.
Qingyi is one of the oldest, wisest and most experienced people in New Eridu, but openly serves as the apparently-young Zhu Yuan's subordinate in an interesting inversion of Miyabi's relationship with Yanagi. Zhu Yuan relies on Qingyi's wisdom and guidance to help her make decisions, yet it's Zhu Yuan who gets all the accolades, fame and attention. Not that she doesn't deserve it, she's clearly gifted, incredibly competent and professional, but it's almost like Qingyi doesn't want the spotlight on herself for some reason. To her, it seems more like she views her role as helping Zhu Yuan be the hero New Eridu needs her to be.
Nicole is one of the first characters we meet in the game and somehow seems to be involved in every significant event in New Eridu's recent history...And yet isn't it interesting she tells us nothing about herself and doesn't appear to have a story of her own? She's the leader of Gentle House, but Anby, Billy and Nekomata are much more prominent in the game's events: Chapter 1 is effectively a character study on Nekomata, while Billy's ties to the Sons of Calydon make him central to Chapter 4 and Lighter's side stories. The game also really seems to want us to Love Anby, with her as the tutorial character for numerous in-game mechanics, her combining traits of both Kiana and Mei from Honkai, her movie obsession ("Who better to pair up with Phaethon?") and the fact she's ZZZ's official mascot. Billy, Anby and Nekomata are also prominently involved in Chapter 3. Nicole, by contrast...Pops in every now and again to give Phaethon a plot-important quest and/or MacGuffin (usually in timed events), and quite literally sits Chapter 3 out.
Even in terms of gameplay these characters play curious roles: Lighter and Qingyi are Stunners and I like using them to support Burnice and Zhu Yuan, respectively (though they can certainly also both hold their own). Jane, being a lone wolf, can easily carry a team in battle despite being an Anomaly-class, but is helped by having people who can back her up and compound her status effect skills. Nicole is quite literally a Support character, and while she is always my leader she plays best on my teams when she can fire the opening shot, swap out to a dedicated DPS character and then pop in and out now and again with artillery fire to keep the rally going. Remarkably, and tellingly, Nicole's best teams are with Jane and Qingyi...But only if Zhu Yuan is also with them.
Why is this? I think it's because it's a manifestation of Zenless Zone Zero's core theme: Dealing with the pain and grief of nostalgia for an idealized past we cannot return to (and it's debatable whether or not it even existed to begin with). The Seven Great Void Hunters were the heroes of a previous generation; an entire era ago, as General Falkenhayn tells us in “Where the Miracle Began”. They've all had their stories, and the game we are playing now is not about them. It's the job of those who are left to help build the future by mentoring and guiding the next generation of heroes to come into their own and help build New Eridu once more.
That's a theme and archetype that resonates with me on a deep, personal level, and is part of the reason I wanted to make this blog for Nicole.
Nikola.
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ancientforgcd ¡ 15 days ago
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Kiana and the cooler Kiana
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"Hey now, younger me is plenty cool....when she's not being a dork."
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kianajanae ¡ 2 years ago
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Kiana paused for a moment, just listening to him. "So, you've been laid in the last decade just not in a real relationship?" She questioned, trying to figure out exactly what he was saying. "A one-two-three-night-stand, is still getting laid honey." He told him gently, placing her hand back on his arm with a look. As he went on, she grew quiet again, the realization dawning upon her. "Oh..." she said gently, a little shocked at his revelation. "Everyone makes mistakes," she said gently. "We live them and we suffer the consequences, learn, and move on. That's all we can do." From a slightly somber and serious tone right back to the light-heartedness they were prone to, Kiana let out a laugh that was surely a little too loud before she clamped her hand over her mouth, shaking her head. "You fool!" she laughed. "I'll be sure to send down some ice water." She smiled wide, "But I'm your dork."
Eyebrows rose now and she looked at him with a small smirk. "I mean, whose a saint about slapping ass?" she asked him honestly. "Yes! Please do that and then call me and tell me all the nasty details," she grinned wickedly. "Found her? Huh?" she asked with a smile. "One day I'm going to figure out who this mystery woman is that be having you all flustered and blushing and shit." Chuckling softly, Kiana tucked some of her locs behind her ear. "No for sure. We'd rule the world as a relationship," she laughed. "The terror and joy of our reign would be magical," she joked. She leaned in now, "what you heard?" she needed to know who knew her business and immediately. "I mind my business and I go home," she told him second later. "You ain't heard a damn thing," she smiled. "Or have you?" she honestly wasn't sure.
Watching him tidy up his workspace and flutter around, Kiana pulled her phone from her back pocket and shot back a few quick text messages before she looked back up at him, sticking out her tongue. "That's right, ohhh, I'm invisibly" she said in a ghostly voice before she cracked and started laughing. At his words, she bit her lip gently. "I am out there," she told him. "I got a little something happening in the shadows," she explained. "Nothing is set in stone yet, so it's quiet." She looked at him and sat her phone down. "Bask in my awesomeness?" she questioned.
"No for sure I can see that. It ruins the fantasy of possibly going home with the bartender," she said thoughtfully. "I also see that point," she chuckled. "I think I'm a little of both depending on the day," she admitted. "We're in our own romantic comedy every day," she corrected him. "Then I've got to be your knight in shining armor," she joked, holding her arms out to him as if to catch him. "Ah, yeah, sickening goes both ways," she smirked. Looking over at Mikey as the woman approached, Ki shook her head at his charm. "Like butter," said with a chuckle.
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"Bring it on," she chuckled, "I know where you live too!" she held her fists up in a ready to rumble pose before she snorted. "Ass!" she smacked his arm yet again as she giggled. Dropping her hands, she looked over at the blonde as she approached and a smile instantly tugged upon her lips. "Nice to meet you," she greeted the woman with a handshake.
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It was a reaction well expected, truth be told he couldn't believe it sometimes and he was the one living through it. "You know what they say about the heart wanting what it wants? Well, true in this case. I mean, let's not get it confused here. A decade since a real relationship not from showing them a good time.' He corrected. Taking feelings out of it was a lot easier than being in an actual relationship. "There was a gray area back then that I think I blurred and I can't seem to regret it since it happened. That probably makes me a horrible person." He spoke frankly seamlessly going from banter to an honest conversation. Frankly, Chris wasn't one he was ever going to apologize to and he was okay living with that. He shrugged his shoulders. "Ah well. Hells probably way more fun anyway." His fingers poked her hand as he let out a chuckle. "You're a dork you know that." The affection in his tone evident as he teased.
"Eh not really. I haven't been a total saint about it." Images of said nights quickly flashed in his mind. "If I'm not exhausted tonight I might go ahead and make a call to as you say get back on that bike." He grinned as amusement danced in his eyes and turned them into a midnight color. "Think I've found her but currently got me working for it." A tickled laugh escaped him and shook his head. "Maybe that's why we get along so well. Though I feel like we'd be too powerful of a couple. So we got bumped down one and stayed at platonic soulmates. Too bad for you. You got stuck with me. By the way, I should be more mad at you. I've heard some things from my loyal regulars." Twinkle in his eyes made it clear he was playing around.
He cleaned up a glass and grabbed the check and left it for one of the waitresses to get when they came back around. His eyes looked at the incoming order for a glass of the house chardonnay and made a mental note while listening to Ki. "Oh, that's right. Your Ki my friendly ghost." It was second nature at this point when he had friends sitting at the bar while he worked. He held a rhythm in his multitasking and that made it easier for him to pay attention without making them feel ignored. "But we should. We need to get you out there. I know there's something you're keeping tight to your chest. Not that I'm one to pry but as a friend it is my duty to make sure you get out there. Bask in your awesomeness." Was he now just buttering her up so she'd be more willing to do him a favor? Maybe.
"Mhm and it's also a turn off for certain people. For some it's like a neon sign of a challenge for a forbidden fruit. But it's what we gotta do sometimes. Other people just don't care and just want the drink and will tip way more than needed just to hurry you up. Those people are favorites over here. If I ever get married I'd put it on my necklace I think." Head nodded in agreement. "Oh yeah! We're starring in our own romantic comedy right now. But I feel like it's a love triangle. Those are more fun. Obviously I'm the damsel in distress." He sighed. "It's nice but it loses its charm when you see it every day." He smiled as he nodded at the brunette who'd walked in and had a tight mini dress on. He didn't move already knowing who was going to tend to her. "Show starting." He murmured as he saw Mikey smoothly lean over the counter in front of her. "He's a smooth fucker I'll give him that."
Just for added effect he shuddered. "Literally shaking. I know where you live. You sure you wanna start this? Your head may tip over." Laughter followed his statement unable to help himself giving her one last dig. "Your humble highness, charm on. Blonde with the high heels and the colorful hair. That's her." Just as she sat down next to Kiana she smiled at JJ and had a silent communication of what she wanted. "Kiana, Delilah. Delilah, kiana. Your next big artist."
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snow-n-cream ¡ 3 years ago
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Flame of calming
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cloud-ya ¡ 6 years ago
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fukimei-incorrect-quotes ¡ 1 year ago
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Mei: Where’s Kiana?
Hua: She pulled an allnighter, drank 5 energy drinks one after another and then thought the birds outside were talking shit about her.
Kiana: [from outside] SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU WINGED FUCK.
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phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing ¡ 3 years ago
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what are the dorkiest things fkm does individually and as a group
ohoho headcanons time
Kiana:
she is the dork. there is nothing she does that isn’t on some level dorky. but mostly headbutting her girlfriends for attention, like a cat
also sneaking food onto her plate
post HoFs, she’s moved on to teasing Hua by offering to feed her or scooping her into her arms when they meet up while proclaiming that she left her alone too long
Mei:
Pre HoT: has a little secret notebook where she writes down her friends and family’s favorite foods, as well as notes on the specific things they seem to like about them. she’s actually memorized it all but she prefers to have a version she can double-check
Post HoT: her friendship with Raven where they insult each other for fifteen minutes (real)
Hua:
make her own gamer juice
begs Kiana to pull for her gacha
thinks of piyo merch during meditation
as a group:
cuddlepiles, sometimes with Hua and Kiana propped on Mei while gaming because she’s “emotional support”.
Hua steals clothes (especially Mei’s because Big and Comfy) and Mei likes the smell of her gfs so she lets her. Kiana calls them both out, and I’m the cat now?
kiana flirting overtly specifically to embarrass her gfs with how cheesy she is about it
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didiwaffles ¡ 3 years ago
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I love the idea of Senti and Felis.
Since Felis and Hua are canonically besties, Hua probably likes and treasures her more than anything in the world. So, her feelings were probably passed onto Senti (just like with Kiana) and she would absolutely shower Felis with love and affection.
But then we get an unstoppable duo of two silly lazy dorks. They would together mess with everyone and then get out to sleep away all their problems completely unpunished. Like you know how Felis doesn't mess with certain people because she's afraid of them? Now imagine if she knew there would be no consequences whatever she steals.
We'd finally get to see Kalpas's face.
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deusvervewrites ¡ 2 years ago
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Okay but, Inko/Hisashi/Kiana. Because Kiana deserves two liveable dorks, Hisashi is allowed two badass wives, and Inko deserves all the love.
Hisashi is only allowed to have two badass wives if the asshole actually makes an appearance. This is your regularly scheduled reminded that we got his name in supplementary material. Related, Inko deserves better
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windborneballad ¡ 2 years ago
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after their reunion and getting to the bubble universe with dr. MEI and stuff. during some of the "downtime" i bet kiana kept glancing (erratically intensely staring) at mei's hand every 2 seconds wanting so bad to hold it. and of course mei notices and smiles softly (being as much of a massive emotional dork as kiana in that moment but just not VISIBLY being a sad wet kitten about it) and she grabs kiana's hand and holds it so warmly and firmly and lovingly, in the way one only can when at one point they thought they never would be able to again. and kiana immediately explodes into tears and deflates and makes mei princess carry her
thank you everybody gootbye.
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nicolasbitch ¡ 3 years ago
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Olivia and Kiana high-fiving after filming the make-out scene is so on brand for those two dorks
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sunseteyes ¡ 4 years ago
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by your side
ㅤㅤ ↪︎ STARRING: hajime iwaizumi; gn!reader
ㅤㅤ ↪︎ THEMES: mutual pining? kinda sad
ㅤㅤ ↪︎ WORD COUNT: 4.6k words
ㅤㅤ ↪︎ SYNOPSIS: this is the story of you and hajime, and how your friendship crumbled when he found out something that was meant to be a secret moments after it was said. 
ㅤㅤ ↪︎ INTERMISSION: this is a part of @samusangel​ ‘s songfics! the song for this fic is ex by kiana ledé. do listen to that song because it’s bop! also, i have finally interpreted my real life story of my 7-year unrequited crush:) yes, most of this fic is based on what happened to me, not all though. i’m kinda hoping to do the ending too lmao. please don’t get too attached to hajime:) enjoy! oh btw i had to add arms on iwa’s pic so if you noticed it, i’ll give yo 10m points (also for the reference for that line haha)
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when you first met hajime iwaizumi, it felt as if you had someone who will always have your back, someone you’d always trust, someone who’d continually care about you, through and through. 
that’s how being friends are, right? 
yet why is it that his name alone could hurt you better than anyone’s? why can you still remember the stolen glances and lingering touches that were barely there? 
why is it that even after eight years, you’re still regretting why you said hello that day? 
why? 
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from oikawa: hey! from oikawa: i heard that you’re in the photography club from oikawa: please please speak to my friend iwa-chan he can be kinda shy  to oikawa: uhm who is this? do i know you? from oikawa: oh my y/n from oikawa: did you really not have the one and only oikawa tooru’s number?! me?? to oikawa: ...oikawa how did you get my number? to oikawa: and who’s iwa-chan??
“hey iwaizumi-san! come sit here!” you exclaimed, a huge grin on your face as both you patted the seat beside you, eyes looked over at the boy that had just entered the room, a sense of relief passing by his expression the moment he found your gaze. 
“we’re in the same class, right? and i think makki mentioned you before. what’s your name again?” he says the moment he sat on the same chair you urged him to sit on.
“(y/n),” you held out your hand. “-it’s nice to meet you.” 
hajime takes it willingly, a friendly look on his face when he does so all the while responding with, “it’s nice to meet you too. and since i can call you with your first name, then you can call me hajime, if you’d like.” 
“well, hajime it is then.” 
the smiles that you shared were harmless, not even an ounce of hesitating thought crossed your mind when you had your very first conversation with him, as well as the next ones. 
“hey hajime, what’s your number?” 
“hm? have i not given it to you yet? here, let me type it for you.” 
from iwaizumi: hey :) to iwaizumi: yeah yeah i received it hajime from iwaizumi: oh come on from iwaizumi: is saying a hello that hard?? to iwaizumi: hello to iwaizumi: you happy? from iwaizumi: yeah :)
“(y/n), want to join us for lunch? we have a free seat right here.” 
“hajime! i saw a good movie! let’s watch it later? snacks are on me as long as it’s your turn next time.” 
smiles, giggles, laughs, whispers or notes whenever the class is ongoing, always beside each other during club meetings, you and hajime even share each other’s secrets and random text conversations during midnights. in just a short time, you were able to trust him, and he did the same for you. for you, that is indeed an unusual feat--you never trusted people that easily to be honest. 
“have you heard of the name wakatoshi ushijima? i once liked him, y’know.” you say in a low volume, making sure none else hears not just because your words were meant to be a secret that was  never to be talked out loud, but it’s since you and hajime are currently in a club meeting, and you would hate your name to be added in the noisy list. 
“you meant that big guy in section five? are you serious?” hajme scoffs, as if you just said a very insulting thing to him. “you could do better, you know that.”
you scoff, chuckling. “are you blind? he’s as handsome as you could be.” 
“is that your way of saying i am handsome?” he smirks, “i knew i’m your type all along.” 
you playfully smacked him on the leg, making him recoil a bit from your form. 
“you wish,” you muttered, brushing off his claims, not really expecting much by that time. 
still, fate decides to surprise you with a gift you can never take back. 
“hey, what do you think of iwaizumi? you two are quite close, aren’t you?” 
“well,” you say, humming as you try to think of a reply whilst writing down the remaining notes that you should write before the teacher decides to erase the contents of the blackboard. the subject itself made it difficult because it was math--and you always fail on math thus this matter is more important than the topic that your friend was chatting about. 
so you gave a mindless answer. “he’s a dork, but he can be cute sometimes.” you say, a memory of when you had to endure an entire hour of hajime talking about dinosaurs flashing in your mind a ghost of a smile crossing your lips as you continued writing on your math notebook. 
then a tragedy came in almost an instant, not even a single warning to try and prevent that from happening. 
and it changed your whole life. 
it was childish, you could say, and it was the start of a neverending downfall for not only you, but for your friendship with hajime. 
“he’s cute?! hey, hajime, (y/n) thinks you’re cute!” 
when the roars of your classmates reached your ears, you were already sitting upright, eyes wide open, forehead knitted, and mouth slightly ajar. 
what?
the moment your gaze met his, you knew that he believed it; the childish statement that was meant to be platonically true. 
you were misunderstood.
bye everyone, including hajime. 
and by the next day, when the club where you and he first met came, he didn’t want to sit next to you. what’s more, is that he purposely asked his other seatmate to change seats with him. 
he ignored you, the whole time. 
to iwaizumi: hey  to iwaizumi: you don't believe that right from iwaizumi: what? to iwaizumi: what happened earlier to iwaizumi: it’s not true yknow that from iwaizumi: uh from iwaizumi: yeah sure
“you like him, don’t you?’ 
you glared at hanamaki, one that could even send daggers his way if it could. “no, i don’t”
“then why are you so worried? i mean, he still responds to your chats, right?” he mutters, munching on his sandwich all the while watching a volleyball match of your seniors, eyes trained at the ball. 
you frowned, biting your lower lip in contemplation as you recalled when you talked to hajime last night about school work, which was a thing for the two of you before too. 
“yeah,” you say, glancing at the other side of the gym, where hajime sat next to toru, his childhood best friend who was from another class. by then, a rush of sadness and loneliness flushes away your appetite, the sandwich on your hand almost forgotten. “-but he’s completely ignoring me in real life.”
it didn’t bother you much by that time. 
“you’re staring, y/n.”
“yeah, like they do always.” 
you could only roll your eyes at hanamaki and matsukawa, who were your best friends at that time due to the fact that you three had been at the same class during elementary and had continued being close since then. when you became friends with hajime, you merely did so just to have someone to talk within that one club that you shared with him and not with the rest of your classmates. aside from that, you felt comfortable talking to the guy. he really did look friendly and welcoming that it was quite easy to hit him up with a conversation. 
but it didn’t mean that you like hajime. 
right?
you scoff, muttering for the two to shut up before proceeding to enter your classroom, the two leaving you alone since they were not a part of your class. now, you could only bow your head down as you make your way to your seat, trying not to make much of a peep in hopes that no one will have to talk to you and most likely bring up the topic of you “crushing” on hajime when it’s not true at all. 
but guess what? it’s not going to happen when the fact that your seatmate is toru oikawa himself. 
“hey (y/n)! have you had a great lunch?”
the smile that creeped to your face was forced, honestly speaking. although if oikawa had noticed it, he didn’t ask for it further. “yes i did, how about you?”
“well, it was nice, but don’t you think it will be nicer if you join me and iwa-chan instead?” 
the thing with oikawa is that he’s not just chatty with you, but he also tends to tease you with hajime, before that unfortunate day even came. the story behind that is that oikawa merely saw you talking with hajime one time after the club that you two shared and then he confided to you the next day, saying “you and iwa-chan look cute together, (y/n), i swear one day one of you will fall in love with the other,  i’m sure of it.” 
okay, you confirm to yourself that you didn’t like hajime that way is not because you wanted to prove oikawa wrong, but it does seem like toru oikawa was challenging you ever since he said those words to you. 
and of course, you’ll win it, no matter if it was a real challenge or not. 
“how about you, do you have any ideas?” 
eyes followed as soon as the conversation turned to you, including hajime’s--to which you have met as soon as your mind returned to the reality that you temporarily exchanged for the train of thoughts that continued to operate inside of your mind. 
“huh?”
“if you’ve got any ideas for the project,” says oikawa, being the automatic leader of the group due to his ability to instantly get along with everyone and having the real capability of leading them. apparently, the teacher decided to group you with the two, along with two other classmates that you never really bothered to get along well with. “if none, we can just go with what we gathered so far.” 
you broke your contact with hajime after he did, turning your gaze to oikawa with a shake of your head. “no, i don’t have any.” 
the worst part of the situation between you and hajime was that everything seems like a lie. the friendship--it seemed like a lie that you never bothered to correct or initiate to stop. why? 
yeah, you kept wondering why. 
maybe it’s because you always treasure your friends, or that you wanted to prove that what they are claiming is a fake, a lie--that you didn’t have a crush on hajime, and you will never ever will. 
but what if you really did? 
what if all these denials are making you believe that it is true as well? you had been thinking about that for quite some time now and the thought of it alone scares you. sure, you’ve had crushes or you’ve had people whom you liked or had feelings before, but not one that was your friend. it makes you wonder if these so-called “feelings” could have been due to wanting to always be with him and talk to him, but not in a romantic way. in fact, those are what you were feeling towards hajime. 
there’s really nothing you should overthink about. 
you like hajime as a friend, but not as someone you could see being with doing all the romantic stuff that other people do with their significant others. 
for all you know, that thought was sooner diminished. 
“did you cut your hair?” 
“hm? yeah i did-” looking up, a sight that you never bothered to ever think about before was suddenly in front of you--hajime, with all the beauty of his wide shoulders and the muscles of his arm peaking through under his sleeve, extending down to his exposed skin to hi beautiful, veiny hand. 
the only reason you were able to be brought back to school and to where you are exactly was when you felt a fleeting touch by your forehead, brushing away a couple of strands of hair that  was on your forehead, the action waking you up in almost an instant to find hajime iwaizumi stepping back to give you back your personal space, an embarrassed look on his face that he sooner had to look away sideways to “hide” it from you. 
and then he walked away. just like that. 
you didn’t know how many seconds or even minutes you were sat frozen on that bench, the sight of the people practicing dancing in front of you to prepare for the upcoming intramurals that has a cheerleading competition in its event. your mind was floating; maybe up in the sky, plunging through the clouds, thinking about only one thing--or person. 
why he did that, you had no idea. you could only think about all the questions that suddenly popped in your head, the scene continuing on playing like a broken television, replaying and replaying and replaying. 
from iwaizumi: hey that hairstyle looks good on you from iwaizumi: you should keep it to iwaizumi: i ain’t keeping a hairstyle just coz you like it :p to iwaizumi: but… does it really suit me? from iwaizumi: yes :)
“do you like iwa-chan, y/n?”
you were sure you didn’t before but now is a different matter. not after that very small moment that you’ve had in real life after hajime ignored you continually on the outside. 
leaving oikawa’s question unanswered was not a good idea, and he kept pestering you, asking you the very same thing, even as you were with others, merely whispering the words by your ear whenever he has a chance. you knew it was merely oikawa’s way of trying to set his two friends up--that’s if you treat him as a friend anyway.
you ignored oikawa, only until he whispered a different statement one day. 
“i heard one of our classmates likes him.”
now that had caught your attention, unconsciously making you lock eyes with oikawa, who visibly looked pleased with the reaction that he was able to pull out from you. 
“who?”
“the same one who asked you if you like iwa-chan.” 
maybe it was out of curiosity or maybe something else, but either way, that specific reason made you glance towards where oikawa was pointing at, the very same person he was referring to in his words was sitting next to hajime, such an unfamiliar sight for basically anyone since hajime was indeed seated far away from them before, and for you to see them beside each other, it was, what was that word?--unsettling. 
“they obviously like him, don’t you think?” oikawa mutters next to you, his lips pursed together, his eyes narrowed at the same way you were looking as well, the very subjects of your gazes minding their own business, as if they were the only ones left in the world. 
you looked away before you could think about them further, however the scene is still in your mind, evading it and also blocking the previous memory that was stuck in your mind for days--when hajime finally made a “conversation,” with you. well, he didn’t really talk much that time but it was still better than nothing.
 and now, just when he was not ignoring you, this person shows up and flirts with him-
wait, stop thinking about it y/n!
you blamed it on oikawa, like you had always done, ignoring the fact that those blames should be pointed to you instead--you who had an indecisive mind and the one that thought of all of this as a challenge of a game--a game where you should beat all the teasings by ignoring all of them. rather than doing that, you overthought all of them--it was all your fault. 
it was your fault that you’re now having feelings for hajime. 
unbeknownst to you, they slowly built up inside of your heart, his grasps creeping and creeping the more you longed for him in real life and not just behind the gadget that you two had; behind the chats that were merely there, inside an application where you can never know what his real reactions were due to the fact that you couldn’t see him as you two converse. 
it was you. 
it was you whose heart started fluttering as time went by. 
“come on, hug them! it’s a punishment.” everyone cheers, and yet beyond the noise is the panic that rushes through your entire system, your eyes glazed over at hajime, who was looking embarrassed the more seconds passed by. 
you stood there, fidgeting and unable to stop yourself from moving your feet, walking towards mattsun to makki to oikawa, begging them to stop this with merely your eyes, your lips refusing itself to open and say something that you’ll regret. after fully accepting the fact that you were slowly having these pesky feelings towards hajime, you still kept denying it to others. you were still afraid of what hajime would think. yes, sure, he was still talking to you through chats and text messages, even calling you a few times, and you knew that he wouldn’t be that pleased to have others teasing the two of you like this. he gets particularly annoyed whenever he’s “embarrassed” for stupid stuff like this. he deems it “pointless” in his own words. 
it hurts, and that’s why you were also willing to indulge with oikawa and the others during moments like these, the hidden desires of your heart coming true to life even for just this single moment. 
when you finally felt hajime’s arms around you, you felt as if you were protected, nurtured, and secured--and it felt very different. whenever you hug someone, you’ll feel comfortable, yes, but never this kind. in hajime’s arms, you felt a shield that physically safeguarded you from your surroundings, even from the noises that were supposed to erupt by your ears. instead, you heard of nothing but your heartbeat, pounding like a madman inside of your chest, continually for only one person. 
by then have you realized how much you have craved for him. 
you have hugged hajime a couple of times before, but it  was the very first time that you have felt that kind of sensation pass through every cell in your body, releasing a rush of contentment only a millisecond after you’ve felt it. the embrace didn’t last for long, but for you, it was enough. for now. 
that night, he didn’t reply to your text messages. 
to iwaizumi: hey to iwaizumi: are you asleep already?  to iwaizumi: it’s still early though... to iwaizumi: just uhm message me when you read this okay?
when you felt like everything was going back into order before the hug, fate does something again. 
actually, it was you who did it and fate merely attracted you to doing it. 
people are afraid of confessions, most of the time. and apparently, you’re one of those people. no matter if it’s a confession for a petty thing such as telling your friend that they smell a bit or a stranger when you see them having some dirt on their face or stain on their clothes. yet, despite being nervous about it, you still do it. 
for some reason, it applies to your feelings about a confession towards hajime as well. 
the moment you had fully accepted to yourself that you liked him more than a friend would, you knew it was the end for your friendship with him- that you can never bring back whatever that was lost or what was supposed to had been before any of these shenanigans ever happened. 
weeks and months went by, until it had been a year and more since you first claimed that you liked him. by now, you weren’t at the same class as him anymore and guess what? you two were not talking or texting anymore either. 
it seemed as if the friendship just… faded. and even if you had feelings for him, you let it slip from your hands, and yet it was the very thing that you were convinced that you wanted to have all this time--to not let this friendship die. since there was no possible way hajime would ever like you, at least you’ll have the friendship, you’ll still have him with you, by your side, even not as someone you secretly desired him to be. 
“how is he?” you let out, barely able to look at oikawa as you gazed at your feet and the ground, something that is  not even that interesting--to which the other knew and noticed. yet instead of speaking of it, oikawa answered your question. 
“you meant iwa-chan, or me? if me, i’m alright, just a little hungry, do you want to go eat?” 
still, oikawa is oikawa and he did everything to make you look up to him, even if it were of a soft glare, like you’d always do--and you did, earning yourself a satisfied smirk from oikawa, slightly snickering at your reaction. 
“just kidding. iwa-chan is doing fine, just his usual self; iwa-chan being iwa-chan. no one is with him still, if you want to know--which i know you were.” he says, even so far as learning by your side, as if attempting to mutter the last statement by your ear.
even if your and hajime’s friendship were slowly fading away, you and oikawa still kept in touch. you had no idea why but, he eventually became your friend while in the process of this hajime ordeal, plus he was also your seatmate the whole year when you were at the same class. 
oh, and he’s also the only one connected to hajime, so of course, being friends with him was also an advantage for you. at least, there was a mutual friend whom you could talk and confide to about his own friend, hajime. 
“what happened to your confession anyway? i was quite positive you had a chance with iwa-chan this whole time.” you couldn’t see what he was looking at as he was saying those words but you were sure you heard him huff, which meant that he was making this funny expression in his face, one that made you chuckle a bit at the mental scene. 
yet that chuckle turned into a smile--a smile that oikawa could admit that he had never seen in your face before. 
“i confessed i like him, but, well, it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t like me. if he does, we’d probably be dating right now.” 
usually, oikawa would be amused at your sarcastic remarks, but this one, he did not lie it one bit, just like the sad expression that you were making. he felt as if he was in your place, and his heart broke for you, the friend whom his bestfriend had rejected. 
unbeknownst to you, oikawa tried to help you, even so far by “matchmaking” or “promoting” you to hajime. however, it seems the things only worsen the more oikawa does it. 
“why? don’t you like them?” 
“it’s not that.” the very same knitted brows appear on hajime’s expression and oikawa immediately recognized it since it was the same face that he’ll always give when they talk about a conflict--one that hajime doesn’t like talking about. 
oikawa thinks it's childish-- the way hajime ignores all of this and the way you still stay hopelessly devoted to this man. it’s like you’re both prolonging the discomfort and pain that you two were feeling. he wanted you two to just talk it all out so that he wouldn’t be caught in between the two of you, and also because he didn’t like having you and hajime to be in this situation. he loathed having to see you both suffer from your own decisions and actions. 
hajime is a broken man--that much you knew. oikawa once mentioned to you that hajime had his heart broken by someone he liked for several years, and now, he was rather reluctant in liking someone. when you came in the picture, he was already a broken man. that’s why you were fine with having to love him without him loving you back. 
you didn’t mention that it was not painful otherwise. 
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“hajime,” 
the recognition that plays by his face amuses you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him too; his face is not really much different than before, but it was obvious that he had matured a lot and puberty really gifted him with such a handsome, chiselled face. not only that, but his build changed too, even if he did have strong, muscley arms before. now, he looks like a very mature young man. 
which he is anyway, why are you even paying attention to those things?
“long time no see” you say, halting in front of you and for him to fully turn to face you. 
“y/n?” hearing your name being called by him gives you a feeling you once had before. however, you merely brushed that thought away, just in time for him to finally break off of his surprise.
“yeah, it had been.” he says, then pulling out the chair beside him, patting it. “here, let me treat you to a drink.” 
you hesitated, and it seems as if hajime noticed it. “it’s alright if you’re in a hurry, we can just catch up some other day.”
“yeah, i think we should.” you nervously chuckled, and just when you were about to panic at how awkward the sudden encounter was, you were reminded by something. “we can have coffee some other day, but i have something for you.” 
hajime watches as you rummage your bag, your attention focused on whatever you were finding as he takes this opportunity to actually look at you. 
you look beautiful and mature, not so different from before, but you surely bloomed and become a really attractive person. if hajime were to be asked, he would have asked you on a date in almost an instant. yet, it will be proving to be difficult due to the history that you and him had. 
the thought alone makes him want to regret his decisions from before, but he was not willing to say or express it out loud. 
if you would give him a chance though, he’s pretty sure he would take it. he’s very different from who he was before, much mature and capable of being in a relationship. 
he’s ready. 
“here,” you suddenly were extending your hand to him, holding out a piece of envelope that looked very much like a letter. and before he could question it, you spoke. 
“i’m inviting you to our wedding. toshi and i are trying to find people from our previous schools so…. here.” 
the smile that was on your face was bright, and hajime was having a hard time processing everything that was happening in his mind and before he knew it, you were saying goodbye, leaving the invitation on his hand before leaving the cafe, saying that you had some errands to attend to. 
when he was left alone, it took hajime a full minute to open the invitation, seeing the names written on it and reading everything else. he was surprised, but what shocked him the most is that he actually felt different. 
he wasn’t heartbroken, no. it was as if someone had poured ice-cold water on him, the same memory of when you and him talked about the very same man you were marrying playing in his mind over and over. 
it was amazing how fate brought you two in this situation, but it sure didn’t occur in hajime’s mind. when he first met you, he felt like he’d just met someone who will always be by his side, and he knew you deserve the best, that’s why he thought that he did not deserve you. 
now he can only question himself as he looks at the invitation to your marriage with another man, drinking coffee alone and without anyone by his side anymore. 
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apparitioned ¡ 4 years ago
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( kiana lede / demi girl ) CLARISSA KING is 24 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. she is majoring in LITERATURE and is known for being THE FALLEN ANGEL as she can be LOYAL and HARDWORKING as well as COLD and SPITEFUL. every time i see them, they remind me of A SINKING SHIP IN A STORM, A STRAIGHT-A REPORT CARD. ( liv / 21 / she/her / gmt+8 )
HELLO GANGGGG tis admin liv !! finally doing shit !! DSHDSKDFH this is such an incoherent intro but here’s this absolute bitch <3
BASICS.
name. clarissa king
nickname. clary
gender identity. demi girl
pronouns. she/they
birthday. january 16th (i’m too dumb to calculate the birth year <3)
age. 24
height. 5′8″
sexual identity. bisexual
romantic identity. biromantic
pets. none
likes.  fashion, dogs
dislikes. the ocean, the future
interests. writing
CONNECTION.
clarissa was steven’s longtime girlfriend. the two began to date during their last year of high school, decided to go to the same college together and have stuck by each other’s sides ever since. before steven’s death, they were already looking for apartments to live in after graduation. it is rumored that he was planning on proposing to her, as evidenced by the ring found in his room, which she now wears as a necklace.
HISTORY.
( trigger warnings: death, disappearance, grief )
clarissa was always the center of attention, and that was how she preferred it. an only child with a high intelligence and a good work ethic to match, she was destined to be the ‘golden girl’ in her parents’ and teachers’ eyes.
she certainly looked like she had the world on a string. she enjoyed being among the popular kids in every school she transferred to, both among the student body and the faculty. it certainly made her pretty full of herself, but she was always kind to the people she liked.
this climb upward only peaked in her senior year. she was prom queen, was accepted to thales university in the coming year and was awarded salutatorian. she would, in any other circumstance, be furious that she only came second place in her graduating class. she can’t be too mad though; after all, the valedictorian was her boyfriend, steven walker. and she couldn’t be more proud.
they decided to both attend thales university, not wanting to be separated from the other after graduation. even their majors didn’t differ too far from each other, both falling under arts in some way, so their years spent together in the university only made them much stronger as a pair. they were regarded as a power couple, with no doubt in anyone’s minds that the both of them will go far in life.
clarissa did have one worry, though. of course she’s heard of the disappearances of nana mun and alexandria blackwell. she trusted that steven would keep himself safe as he dedicated his precious spare time trying to solve these mysteries. she trusted him, she did, but she was always worried that he’d poke his nose into too many things and get himself into trouble.
the last time she saw him was on the night of october 31st, 2020, after he dropped her off her dorm after their study date night. looking back, she thinks nothing was amiss - he was acting the way he usually did, the same dork she always knew him to be, promising to see her again the next day.
the entire morning of november 1st, she didn’t hear a peep from him. no text, no call, no post on social media. she brushed it off, thinking he probably had an all nighter and was still sound asleep. it was after noon struck and she saw nana mun’s tweet that she grew worried, panicked. something was wrong.
she spent the day looking for him, calling him, her fears growing more and more as the hours passed. finally, just after midnight, someone contacted her - only to inform her that steven’s body was found by the edge of the forest.
it was as if she changed overnight. gone was the warmer clarissa, who was a little too confident of herself but always gave chance to others, who still smiled and was willing to tutor those who struggled. she became closed off, snapping at anyone who came across her, looking to blame someone, anyone for steven’s death - though, she blamed herself the most for not looking for him sooner. her test scores suffered similarly, plummeting as she struggled to deal with her grief.
she knows she has to pull herself together, and she’s trying to now, using her schoolwork as a way to distract herself. her old warmth never returned, though, and she now spends her own spare time trying to solve the mystery of nana mun - after all, it was important to steven. she may as well see it through.
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