#keysstuff

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

promise to be dazzling

1:11 Clara Bow - Taylor Swift

I can't sleep until I do this. not requested by anyone, I just wanted to write angst. I was SO EXCITED FOR CLARA BOW AND IT WAS SO GOOD!!! this is the things that dazai starts and stops doing after you leave.

dazai quits drinking. it all went down when he was drunk, and he won't let something like that happen again. he will have a few drops after you two end and will feel forever guilty about it. it is hard to quit but it is harder to disgrace your ghost. dazai no longer constantly soothes arguments by diverting them in some other direction. he will at least address them a little bit instead of just covering them up and pretending like they never happened. you still would have been together if he stopped running away every time someone was genuinely mad at him. dazai makes an effort to be more genuine and tries to show people that he is actually being genuine. he hates remembering how you were never sure about anything about him, how he would smudge over his true self and never ever show you a single thing that could, without a doubt, be from Dazai's heart. your love for him lived its life unsure if it was even requited. dazai does not ask women to commit suicide with him. he now abhors the thought that anyone could think he was interested in anyone else. if someone gets the wrong idea, he will go to great lengths to correct them. his past self haunts him with how he would never pay any mind to how much it hurt when he showed interest in other women. like you were never special, like there was nothing different between you two. he wishes he could tell you how different you are. dazai tries his best to keep his promises. he is reminded of the half-meant promises that would keep you from bringing his faults back up, how he would always swear to do better. he now wishes he could convey to everyone just how committed he is to all his promises now.

angst, it's been a while my friend. it was kinda trash though, sorry y'all. I hope you all have a wonderful day or night, and have someone or something to keep you tied to this world.

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

taming a bear, making him care

I still have a request to finish but I need to write about this... I am in love... lyric from "The Bolter" by taylor swift in the title. I hereby present how verlaine is whipped, smitten, and down horrendously bad.

verlaine who makes sure the vase in your shared apartment always has fresh flowers of whatever you would like. in the case that you do not have time to tell him your preferences, he will buy what he thinks you will like or a bouquet of something romantic. on anniversaries, there will always be irises, chrysanthemums, daisies, and alstroemeria. verlaine who always looks his best. he cannot bear the thought of being a dirty, ugly smudge in your vision. the apartment must also be clean for you. he wants to please you, including visually. if something looks ugly to you, he will try to ensure you do not come across it again. if you do not like all this, he will easily respond and try to change for you, but you are not often too much of a fan of how far he will go for you. verlaine who would get down on his knees and beg you to stay if he ever cheated. he would stay at your door for however long it took, he could never live a life without you. he also feels the need to be near you whenever possible, he needs to know that you're okay, he needs to know that he can be there to protect you. he would starve before he let you slip out of reach from his stained hands. it is only natural for mortals to crave the touch of the heavenly. verlaine who keeps you with him whenever possible. he will curse himself endlessly if he lets you get injured. if you're in the port mafia, he will even do extra work if it means he can accompany you on missions to ensure you're okay. your security means so much to him. verlaine who takes even the silliest questions of yours seriously. of course, he would still love you if you were a worm, he praises and loves you, his god, in all your forms. if you asked for a snack, he would ask you to accompany him to the grocery store and he would purchase it in bulk immediately. if you were lazy, he would even carry you like a princess.

I'm back from a trip (it sucked!! let's not discuss the details) and here is a post to celebrate me being back (I was gone for like two-ish days I just need an excuse to post about my pookie bear verlaine <333)

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

I keep recalling things we never did

zsxrdcfvgbh it's atsushi's birthday!! he's so precious I need to shove him into a locket full of love and tell him how much people care about him. how can you hate him?? I introduce to you all how this man would act while smitten :)

just a note: anyone who reads my works should just know that I will probably swear even though I try to edit out a lot of it.

he is stuttering over every single word after gaining the confidence to talk to you. he is rushing out of every conversation and then wishing he was talking with you. he will find you in a crowd just to avoid you. the agency would just laugh a little and then tell him 'maybe next time'. you would have to be the most oblivious person in the world not to notice (mecore I'm a dumbass). he is forgetting about his entire schedule and everyone else the moment you ask for something. when you realise this, you ask for favours less because it does more harm than good in the long run, but he feels guilty when he doesn't help you enough. it's a lose-lose until you two start to actually communicate, though it's mostly his fault and he knows that and he feels horrible about that. so he goes to you and you soothe him and then he feels even worse because he just took time away from you and he thinks it would have been much better spent with someone else. when it's all done, you know just the things to say to help him, though. he is failing to pull of all the most romantic tricks in the book. he buys flowers but is too scared to give them to you face-to-face so he leaves them on your desk and runs to the bathroom when you find them so you don't confront him about it if you go asking around about who got you them. everyone knows that he would crumble right then and there. he would bleed his wallet dry buying your favourite snacks and hiding them in your desk's drawers on days when you seem to have it rough <33 he would be soft to you but would defend you with any amount of violence. he can't even stand when someone insults you and will get into heated arguments when someone tries to dirty your lovely name. he has a hard time staying calm if you have the slightest injury. you both know he would take care of you if you're ever sick and vice versa. he's no baby, but he would be anything for you.

I actually made something ahead of time and it was ready for when it needed to be posted!! I finally didn't do something last minute and I didn't procrastinate at all :)

not entirely proofread. actually not at all but I kinda edited as I went along, if that counts.

I just want to thank all my friends on tumblr, you make me feel so loved and wanted and you're the reason I don't feel so lonely anymore.

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

I'll tell you how I've been there too and that none of it matters

verlaine verlaine verlaine!!! my pookie bear!! unrequested but necessary. things that make verlaine feel loved.

when you hold him. when you, you, you who knows him and cares for him and tells him you love him for who he is holds his sinning self in your arms like he's a baby, a flower, something more delicate than silence. he loves to be fragile for you, but he would not mind if you even dropped him and he shattered into a million little pieces. he knows you would put him back together, though. he's a puzzle you will never hesitate to put your all into solving. he craves for your warm fingers to gently hold his broken pieces together, caress the new masterpiece slowly and kiss it with soft, precious lips like you were sealing a response to one of his love letters. when you make sure his coffee is always hot. oh, god, good good, you're thinking about him. you're thinking about even the smallest things to make his day better. how can this be anything but true love? how can he show it back? how can he honour your name, your holy presence and build you cathedrals of care? the least he can do is memorise all your preferences, he can't stand your disgust of anything. if there is a day when you are disgusted by him, he will slaughter himself then and there. if you don't like blood, he will happily drown himself out of sight. when you make sure he goes to sleep. even then, you will do your best to make sure he will get as much sleep as possible. he tries to stay up to watch over you, but you beg him to calm down because you love him and want him to get rest. that alone is enough for him to bend to your will immediately. he will sometimes stay up thinking if you're lonely, and will seek you out immediately if he worries about you in any way. he's learning to avoid that a little bit because then it ends up disturbing you and he feels guilty even though he is perfectly aware that nothing matters more to you than him. when you go along with whatever he says. you trust him completely, so whether it's a mission or out and about you know he will make the right choices. he is sometimes a little stressed because now you have weight on this scale and he can under no circumstances mess up. you don't even mind if he does, though, his imperfections and mistakes are part of what makes him oh-so-human. in the end, it's your complete and unwavering faith in his humanity that leaves him dragged awe-struck into your orbit.

he's my cutie patootie mass murderer baby <3 you couldn't keep him out of my mind even if you gave me a lobotomy.