#ketamine gavin

[herr-rockstar]

is country gavin real. are the other gavin brothers (country, caviar, kitchen, ketamine, cock, knife -cabin, kantilen, piano, guitar, violin, banjo, continent, planet, galaxy, corn, korn, clay, and korra) all real.

He? Who?

[mrsleonkennedy]

Disclaimer: All info posted here comes from their respective creator itself so yes, its legit and not just part of my imagination 💯

Interview Rules:

The interviewer can only ask 10 questions.

The interviewer cannot force an answer out of anyone.

The participant has the right not to elaborate their answer.

CW: Long post ahead / Interviewer being a Ketamine simp / Gavin's surprise cameo

Interviewer: Hi Guys! I hope you're doing well today. Thank you for participating on this social experi- *coughs* interview. Btw, you can call me CC, I'm your interrogator today sent by your beloved MC, so please cooperate :) Are we ready? Lets start:

Question No 1: Aside for being a yandere, whats your dream job/profession?

❤️ Casanova: I wanted to be a chef for the longest time, but i’m happy with my job as an organ harvester!

🕊️ Krow: I-I actually like m-my job as a f-forensics cleaner but... I-I'd love to b-be a stay at home s-spouse a-and just do a-art.

🔪 Ezra: I actually really enjoy my current job. I've had it for going on... 7 years now? Almost 8. (Interviewer: Can we ask what your job is? No? Okay. *thumbs up* bish i value my life more)

🔥 Harper: Hmm, if I had to pick any kind of job, maybe a pyrotechnic?

💐 Keith: To become a plant biologist.

🎮 Tenebris: Be a musician.

🖥️ Virgil: My dream profession is to be Game Developer, I enjoy video games and I have always wanted to make a game for others to enjoy, and so that’s why I’m taking classes of game development.

🎤 Adam: I already have my dream job. Although, I did often think about becoming a vet as a kid. Sometimes I wonder how life would've turned out had I pursued that career instead of singing.

🐕 Henry: I’m not sure! I’ll probably do whatever Buttercup ends up doing!

Interviewer: Atleast some of you love their job *sigh* Me? I just want to be a cat, no work, just meow meow *defeated sigh* Back to the topic at hand:

Question No 2: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? (Vacation or permanently)

❤️ Casanova: Barcelona, that’s where i was born and it’s really pretty there

🕊️ Krow: Ah! I-India! I-I'm Indian but... I-I actually don't know m-much about my heritage. I... w-wanna go s-see the land of m-my culture. W-with Dove too o-of course!

🔪 Ezra: Hmm... Anywhere with my Sugarsnap? If that's not too cheesy I suppose. But outside of that I'd like to visit Blaire's extended family in Vietnam.

🔥 Harper: I’m definitely more a big city kind of guy, so I’m pretty happy living where I am… To visit though? Hmm… Somewhere with some snowy mountains maybe, do some snowboarding, chill by a fire with some hot cocoa? Yeah, that sounds nice..

💐 Keith: It will be Kristenbosh National Botanical Garden.

🎮 Tenebris: My old home probably.

🖥️ Virgil: I’ve always wanted to go Iceland for vacation

🎤 Adam: As long as I'm by your (MC) side, it doesn't matter where I'm at~

🐕 Henry: Anywhere where Buttercup is good with me! But if we could both go somewhere, Disneyland might be fun!

Interviewer: So if MC just dissapear out of nowhere, thats the list of places where we can found them? Hmm ..

Question No 3: Song that you will sing to MC if given a chance.

❤️ Casanova: baby - eslabon armado

🕊️ Krow: Uhhh... uhhh... I-I guess... T-Together Forever would be c-cute...

🔪 Ezra: A few different songs, most notably... We'll never have sex by Leith Ross, Let you break my heart again by Laufey & Philharmonia or Habits by Genevieve Stokes. I just want sugar to know I want them for more than... anything. I love their heart and soul, it's not physical for me. Though I do find them incredibly attractive.

🔥 Harper: Actually sing myself?... Umm.. Maybe either Day 1 or No Song Without You, both by Honne?

💐 Keith: Can't Help Falling in Love

🎮 Tenebris: Trust by 7 Seconds

🖥️ Virgil: Rises the Moon, it’s a comfort song of mine, my mum sings this to me and my younger siblings when we were little, by then whenever my mother is busy, I sing the song to my siblings. And Hopefully, I can sing it to my beloved, as a way to help them if they need comfort.

🎤 Adam: *fidgeting because he's written one song in particular that he'd love for MC to hear but is worried that MC will wind up hating it*

🐕 Henry: The Promise by When in Rome! It’s our song!

Interviewer: *secretly adding all the songs to their playlist*

Question No 4: Name one food that you will never ever eat.

❤️ Casanova: Mac and cheese, i fucking hate mac and cheese.

🕊️ Krow: I-I'm never... eating b-bland... white people c-cooking EVER a-again.

🔪 Ezra: Beans on toast. I just don't particularly like beans. Or sweet potatoes.

🔥 Harper: Ugh… Raisins

💐 Keith: Rabbit meat.

🎮 Tenebris: Anything with bugs.

🖥️ Virgil: Anything fish related, I do not like fish, but if someone ever served me, I would just suck it up and eat.

🎤 Adam: *doing 5 stages of disgusted face known to humankind* Anything from Saffrons freezer. (Interviewer: Time to raid Saffron's freezer hehehe)

🐕 Henry: I can’t bring myself to eat cauliflower. It's so bland!

Interviewer: *proceed to eat Mac & Cheese to spite Nova* I dont trust people who hates Mac & Cheese.

Question No 5: This would be a little bit of personal, so you have a choice not to answer this okay? Whats your most treasured possession?

❤️ Casanova: Mi vida’s house key, of course! it’s a little mangled bc i keep chewing on it though.

🕊️ Krow: Oh... w-well... t-this pendant is... p-precious but... well... I-I actually don't have m-many possessions. S-so... everything I have has m-meaning. (Interviewer: I can be your possession Krow)

🔪 Ezra: Eliana gave me a tie she made back in elementary school. Neither of our dads are in the picture so she gave it to me instead. I still wear it to work sometimes. (Interviewer: *starts crying bc this answer is so precious*)

🔥 Harper: This lighter here, we have a bit of history together~

💐 Keith: A bonsai tree I got from my father and I had for 7 years.

🎮 Tenebris: My guitar.

🖥️ Virgil: My necklace, it’s a gift from my dad.

🎤 Adam: You (MC). But if we're talking about an item...*he tugs on his earring*

🐕 Henry: A picture / polaroid of me + Buttercup as kids! (though, I do have more updated ones too…)

Interviewer: I am suprised no one answered MC's nose hair or whatever. Hmm.. Im not fully convinced but I will trust you on this one.

Question No 6: Nosy ask, whats your phone wallpaper right now?

❤️ Casanova: a photo of mi vida in the middle of taking their meds!

🕊️ Krow: D-Dove let us t-take a selfie! I-it's so cute aaaa--

🔪 Ezra: I managed to snap a photo of Sugar and Ellie cuddled up on the couch after a movie night once. I've never before felt so much love swelling in my chest. It almost hurt.

🔥 Harper: *proudly present his phone* 1st is my lockscreen and 2nd is my Homescreen. I took it myself..

💐 Keith: A pair of white lilies (Why is this the most normal answer on this whole interview?)

🎮 Tenebris: We share the same phone, so a pair of white lillies also.

🖥️ Virgil: Pixel art of my beloved Galaxy and my puppy Scott, aren’t they so cute in pixel form? (Interviewer: Scotty baby *coos at the phone* )

🎤 Adam: My home screen is of YOU (MC). My lock screen is of a stray kitten I found on my way to the studio that Ethans younger brother ended up taking in. (Interviewer: Do you have any other pics of the kitten? *cat lady vibes intensifies*)

🐕 Henry: A picture of Buttercup sleeping! How’d I get it? (Note: Its in a modern Au bc mobile phone with camera is not yet invented on Henry's time)

Interviewer: MC supremacy yass! If only some surgeon named Ketamine Yetrovzski use my photo as his wallpaper *coughs* (Ketamine shouting "NO" can be heard in the background but still here supporting the interviewer, this fuckin tsundere)

Question No 7: If you could appear in any popular movie/anime/book, which one would you choose?

❤️ Casanova: hmm, i would say the hp lovecraft series! hate the guy but i’m a major monster fucker

🕊️ Krow: Umm... I... I-I wanna be in a Jane A-Austen book. As a p-protagonist. N-no matter what... t-they marry happily in t-the end.

🔪 Ezra: Well... I guess... I'm not sure. I've never really thought about it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I can't imagine my life without Eliana and I don't want to be anywhere without my sugarcube.

🔥 Harper: Ah.. thats a hard one.. If I get powers n shit and I’m not just a normal person maybe Jujutsu Kaisen?... Tbh I play more games than I do watch or read anything haha..

💐 Keith: Sherlock Holmes, because solving murder cases looks like fun. So does creating the perfect murder. *a sudden smoke appear near Keith for dramatic effect*

🎮 Tenebris: Inuyasha. I really want a Kagome. (Interviewer putting their Kagome costume)

🖥️ Virgil: Hmmmm that’s a tough one… Haha I couldn’t think of anything right now.

🎤 Adam: Death note, the anime. I think I could do a lot better with that notebook than light Yagami did. (Hermit, the creator, rolls their eyes behind the scenes and Adam glaring daggers to Hermit)

🐕 Henry: The Princess Bride! That movie is practically about me + Buttercup.

Interviewer: Im with Harper on this one. JJK so I cant prevent Nanami and Nobara Shibuya Arc huhuhu.

Question No 8 : What are some habits you have? Any strange ones?

❤️ Casanova: I tend to scratch at my braces when i’m trying to focus, often i’d end up chewing on my fingers.

🕊️ Krow: Uhh.... I... bite my h-hands... a lot. It's... a comfort t-thing. S-sometimes my forearms too. I-I guess I also make the same expression a-as to what I'm d-drawing.

🔪 Ezra: When eating food like burgers or sandwiches I eat around the edge and then eat the center last. Um... I also tend to rub things with my fingertips when I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm almost always touching my nails absent-mindedly.

🔥 Harper: I have a habit of scratching my fingertips, especially when I’m nervous… Its kinda a bad habit, sometimes I scratch em a little raw.

💐 Keith: Buttoning and unbuttoning my shirt sleeve when Im bored or nervous.

🎮 Tenebris: Leaving my things all over the bed

🖥️ Virgil: Hmmmm, whenever I play a video game that has levels right? And I messed up one thing, I restart the level. Don’t know why, I just like to go through the levels smoothly. It’s pretty frustrating if you ask me ahaha

🎤 Adam: I don't have any strange habits. I'm just a normal guy. (Someone shouts LIAR and its not Hermit, i swear. Or maybe?)

🐕 Henry: Hmmm…I have really bad sleeping habits if I’m being honest! I’m lucky if I can get 3 hours of sleep at night. As for strange ones, nope, I’m perfectly normal! (now the interviewer is also shouting LIAR)

Interviewer: That was the biggest lie Ive ever heard in my entire life Henry. *headache incoming* No one is normal here. Im not even normal smh.

Question No 9: This question was submitted by Gavin Hyeon of Camp Willlow Peak. Its time to test your flirting skill, give me one pick up line that you will probably use when flirting with MC. Gavin said he is watching you right now.

❤️ Casanova: if you were a heart i’d eat you out!

🕊️ Krow: N-no wonder i-it's overcast t-today. All t-the colors are in y-your eyes.

🔪 Ezra: Sometimes I wonder what good deed I did to deserve such a perfect soul like you to enter my life.

🔥 Harper: Pickup lines really aren’t my thing… Gavin did write down this one for me once though… Lets see it’s here somewhere…” *digs through his pockets and pulls out a piece of scrap paper* “Here it is… ‘Hey baby… You got any Italian in you?.. No?... Do you want some?’ …… I don’t get it 😐 *Gavin cheering in the background*

💐 Keith: Im really not a fan of pickup lines, but okay, "You're sweet enough to give me diabetes".

🎮 Tenebris: Tie your shoelaces, I don't want you falling for someone else!" (Legend says that until now, Tenebris is still waiting for MC to wear shoelaces and for them to be untied.)

🖥️ Virgil: Hmmm let me go grab my telescope, so I can admire the beautiful star.

🎤 Adam: *combusts into one giant human blush* (Hermit doing a voice over: He can only flirt on the fly. If he has to think his actions through he'll get self conscious and overheat from overthinking it)

🐕 Henry: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together!

Interviewer: *currently helping Gavin to write his will of testament before he becomes Gavin Flavored Toasted Marshmallow, recipe by Harper*

Question No 10: This would be the last question, and I want to thank you again for giving me a chance to interview you. Before we end this, do you have anything you want to say to the people reading this?

❤️ Casanova: if you ever need fresh organs without having to do it yourself contact valentine’s anatomy distribution! we have a wide selection available, and if you’re a fellow yandere homie you get a discount!

🕊️ Krow: Uhh, well? I-I guess... t-thank you for... f-finding me interesting.

🔪 Ezra: Not particularly. I'm not sure why Lilith arranged the interview but I don't mind answering questions. I should probably head back into work soon though... Oh, I will say this. Thank you for coming into my life Sugar, I didn't think I could love someone like I love you.

🔥 Harper: .. Unshrimp your fucking backs, love you~

💐 Keith: Um, hello. I hope my answers weren't too boring.

🎮 Tenebris: No? I don't know 'em.

🖥️ Virgil: Hello everyone, I hope all of you have a wonderful day, afternoon, or night, make sure to take care of yourselves or else I will if you don’t mind hehe~

🎤 Adam: Is...YOU (MC) reading this? Because if you are, I hope to see you again really soon~

🐕 Henry: You guys are kinda weird for wanting an interview! I’m not quite sure what else to say though!

Interviewer: And that would be all. Thank you to our lovely guests for joining us today. And here is the bribe. List of all 2d characters MC currently simping for. Do what you want with that info.

Interviewer: Hi Hi guys! Again, CC here. Thank you again for entertaining this interview. To end this, may we ask for a few advices you can give for those aspiring artist out there or those who want to create their own vn.

NOVA belongs to @cannibalsweetheart : if you’re starting a project don’t feel unmotivated if you don’t get a lot of traction in the first few weeks, building a platform takes time, but soon enough you’ll gain an audience! (Demo link here)

Krow belongs to @thekrows-nest : While I don't have immediate plans for a VN (despite folks begging for it), for artist stuff, keep experimenting and trying out things. Don't be afraid to go to friends for advice. (:

Ezra belongs to @restartheartvn : lshdfksdfhj okay for my answer! My advice? Don't make something for other people. Make what YOU want to see. Make something that YOU are interested in. If you like... make something that you don't love and enjoy making people can tell. It doesn't come off as genuine and you'll burn out that way. Don't think about numbers or anything like that. Make stuff because it makes you happy. I make Restart Heart because I love my little passion project. I love it so much I get my nails done to match my game and spend most of the day thinking about it. I would still be making Restart Heart if no one played. Make something that you would want to make even if no one saw. Even if you were the only person in the world who loves it, make it because it brings you happiness. Sorry if that's cheesy or like super standard but it's genuine. (Demo link here)

Harper belongs to @campwillowpeak : Hmmm, other than the good ol’ practice practice practice?…Try and remember to have fun yeah? Don’t focus on numbers, yeah everyone wants more eyes on their work, thats normal, but if you focus only on how big you are you’re gonna burn out and get discouraged, stuff like that takes time, consistency, and a little bit of luck. In the meantime just have fun and make friends! Besides, people can tell if you’re trying to force it, an audience’ll more often stay if they can tell you’re legitimately having fun! And never just look at where you are now… Look at how far you’ve come from too!~

Keith & Tenebris belongs to @dualityvn : Make sure you set realistic goals for yourself. Taking on too many tasks and planning a project that is bigger than what you can currently manage can be your downfall. Stay positive and always create the things you yourself love! (Demo link here)

Virgil belongs to @wouldyoustayvn : Take your time! There’s no need to rush to make the game quickly! Make sure to take breaks!))

Adam belongs to @unknownhermit : Please get a good chair. It'll help in the long run when you're often crouched over your desk for hours on end. Don't be like me who hovers over my desk like a hermit crab shell.😅 Second thing is to just have fun creating and don't worry about what others think! I used to obsessively worry if my work was good enough and wound up never releasing it because I got self conscious. It wasn't until YOU and HIM that I actually had fun with what I was doing and I think that translated into my work. Create to create for yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks because it's important to create what you love and are passionate about. And I'm sure a lot of us would love to see what sorts of things you'll come up with. 💙 (Demo link here)

Henry belongs to @homecomingvn : Ahh, I’m a really bad person to ask for advice if I’m being honest! I guess all I can really say is that no matter how silly you think your idea is, there will be an audience for it! It can be scary to put yourself out there, but honestly, this community is so incredibly supportive + I’ve met some amazing people here! Also, I’d recommend keeping various docs about your project! It’s nice to have it all in one (or 3 + a google slides in my case) place so you can have a clear idea about your wip + its characters. And lastly, be prepared for people to be horny! ^^ (okay, you dont have to call me out >…< will still send horny ask bc someone needs to 😙)

Just a little self indulgent ramblings. I dont know if anyone already know about this game, but one of my moots recommended this, its DONT LOOK VN and I tell you, its so good. The story premise, the creepy atmosphere and the voice acting are all on point. They have on going Kickstarter and they only have 8 days left to reach the goal. This is my way of helping since im unable to pledge bc the banks here in the country im currently residing are shitty and they keep declining, so please if you have means to support, please do. Lets help them to reach their goals.

Here is the link of the demo also and their socials:

Kickstarter | Demo | Twitter | Tumblr

DO IT FOR CHESTER!!

[horrornvnfan]

Maria Fielding in Visual Novels

A 💘 will indicate who in the game is Maria's love interest.

This is a post for games with a very small cast, or games that I still don't yet know much about!

In alphabetical order: Cannibal Sweetheart, Camp Willowpeak, Honey Hotline, My Dear Hatchet Man, The Groom of Gallagher Mansion, You and Him

-----------------------------------------------------

Cannibal Sweetheart:

Backstory Changes: None, except now she has a terminal heart condition, poor girl.

Relationships:

💘(???) CASANOVA: "A date for a heart? No way that's true--" Maria is bewildered by this prospect, but also won't hesitate if it means getting a new heart. If she falls for him or has to eventually break the act, it can really go either way. She's also not bothered by the cannibalism, as long as he doesn't kill people. ...Does he kill people? Should she run--?

CYANIDE: "A very cute nurse." Maria has a minor crush on the Cyanide, but will happily be friends with her instead. Overall, she just likes chatting with her when she picks up her prescription!

PESTILENCE: "My very good friend!" Pestilence is someone Maria has known a long time and trusts completely! They talk frequently, and Maria goes to them for advice all the time. She honestly doesn't flinch at Pestilience's hobbies, but will point out anything shady and the potential consequences. She'll probably do what they say when she asks what she should do about Casanova.

KETAMINE: "Nice tattoos." He is not someone Maria would like to talk to very much on account of her disliking bugs, but she still holds a polite respect for him. And likes his tattoos. If push comes to shove, she will try to make him an ally over an enemy!

-----------------------------------------------------

Camp Willowpeak:

Backstory Changes: None! She just gets a job as a camp counselor!

(Note: there is no set love interest 💘 for Maria in this universe yet because I want to see how this story progresses and learn more about the characters!)

Relationships:

HARPER: "He's cool, but hmm..." Maria is very friendly with Harper! They bond over a fondness for musicals and swimming. But he is sort of intense with her, and that really throws her off. She would have no idea what to do if he ever asked her out, because they haven't known each other long.

GAVIN: "Dork!" Maria gets along well with Gavin, mostly because of their silly humor, but she teases him for having 0 game.

SOHPIE: "She rules!" Maria is good friends with Sophie, they're both outgoing, and she reminds her to eat when she forgets.

CAMMI: "Cammi is the best!" Maria and Cammi get along very well, they're both responsible and hardworking and have a passion for learning! But she does want Cammi to remember to have fun.

DANTE: "Cool older guy." Maria likes how sociable he is and gets along well with him, but they don't actually interact much. Still, she respects him a lot!

JAZZ: "Don't stare, don't stare, don't--" Jazz is so attractive that Maria will avoid her, but it's very hard to do when they work together! Still, she appreciates Jazz's guidance.

-----------------------------------------------------

Honey Hotline:

Backstory Changes: None, except that Maria is still taking college classes, maybe for a masters or PHD!

Relationships:

💘FONE: "Gosh, he's cute!" Maria doesn't often notice people who don't interact with her, but she knows she's seen Fone around even before they were formally introduced. He always struck her as a cute guy who preferred to be alone, so she never approached. Now that they're in a group together, she'd like to get to know him.

AMSEY: "She's really sweet!" Maria likes Amsey so much, they're such a sweet person and easy to talk to. She'd like to keep hanging out, and wants to invite them to join a rec team!

SEON: "Cool dude!" Maria admired him for a while for being so composed and hardworking in class, but once they started to hang out, they became nerd buddies, gushing over their favorite shows.

-----------------------------------------------------

My Dear Hatchet Man:

Backstory Changes: None, just a specification that Maria moved to Canada for college and is still attending classes.

Relationships:

💘ALAN: "He's interesting!" He's a hot guy from the woods showing interest in her. Maria is swooning. If she finds out about the murder and supernatural stuff, she might try to save him from the whole thing. But when she realizes he's like that and also a stalker(?), well.... 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

ERIKA: "I want us to be friends!" Maria likes Erika! They're on acquaintance terms, and she'd like them to be real friends!

STU: "YOU!" Maria went to elementary and middle school with Stu, but not high school. They were good friends. She is stunned he's here and would like to be friends again.

-----------------------------------------------------

The Groom of Gallagher Mansion:

Backstory Changes: None!

Relationships:

💘ELIAS: "He's more handsome than I expected." Maria has never considered dating a ghost, but she sure is now. And she's so sympathetic and curious about his life story, and wants to get along with him genuinely.

TAYLOR: "My friend!" They are good friends and share a passion for horror and the supernatural! They were equally enthusiastic by the idea of going to the manor, but Taylor is more than a little concerned by Maria's interest in romancing the ghost.

-----------------------------------------------------

You and Him:

Backstory Changes: None, except now Maria has an aunt and another side job!

Relationships:

ADAM: "FUCK. OFF." Maria is throwing hands at this man every chance she gets. Once she learns about where this plot is going, she'll get into detective mode and force him to work with her until they can figure out the truth. He doesn't get a choice, she can be very demanding. Someone who stabbed her gets no manners.

SAFFRON: "AAAAAHHHH!!" No flight! Just fight! Maria is so sick of people attacking her by this point, she will go sicko mode and bite this guy's fingers off if he tries anything.

[kishavo]

i joined a huge drug-user/harm reduction-centered discord server and it’s been really helpful for me in terms of validation and having somewhere i can go when i’m under the influence and can’t control my yapping

but it’s really funny bc the chat moves SO fast; i’ll be like “does music sound kinda wack on ketamine for any of u” and 2 seconds later someone else will be like “the taste from IVing meth is nice” at which point the heroin enthusiasts come out of the woodwork and i think my point is that it’s among other trash rat goblins where i feel most at home and maybe that’s why it never occurred to me to hate gavin reed

[year2007]

this song (and album) is like if u gave a bearded redditor alcoholic access to the best ever mixing studio and band and fed him a mixture of ketamine and adderall and locked him in there with a supply of ensure

[gingerbreadmonsters]

has it been a week yet? not quite, but that's never stopped me - it's wip not-wednesday again! you already know the drill, it's more of this gavin-and-fl prompt fill, sweetheart plays evil dead because i say so, this user does not condone the use of ketamine in alcoholic beverages, it's under the cut, blah blah blah 😘

-

"It's better without sleeves, don't you think? It makes the whole thing a lot more fun." True to form, he's benched the hat for now, although you're sure it'll be back before long. "Not the most groundbreaking thing you've ever seen, but I think it could be very versatile."

You agree, nodding as he compares handbags. "Definitely a useful one. Keep or return?"

"Oh, keep, absolutely," he throws over his shoulder, kicking off his shoes as he skips back to the bed, clearly ready for the next thing. "Love the mesh, plus the material is nice and soft - and so breathable! Now, what have we here…"

He holds up another pair of shorts, even shorter than before, light pink this time. "My goodness, love. There's hardly anything of these! What sort of demon do you think I am?"

You shrug innocently, absolutely no idea what he's implying, no ulterior motives, not at all. "My favourite kind."

He leans forward for another kiss, smile to smile, and of course you give it to him, breaking only to pull the top over his head. What is that flavour? "Is that… grenadine? What on earth did Vincent have you drinking?"

"Oh, it was lovely! Milo's mate recommended it when we went over a few weeks ago, do you remember? They didn't say what it was called, but it's vodka, strawberry liqueur, grenadine, lemonade, and a few other bits and pieces - you know, I'd never had it before but it goes down easy as anything. And it's pink! It's very pretty. There's still some in the kitchen if you want some…?"

"Wait, you made it at home?" God, how much has he had to drink today? "Thank goodness you can't get alcohol poisoning."

He pretends to lick his thumb and smooth his hair back - truly, a paragon of modesty. "One of my many natural advantages."

"Are those natural advantages going to get dressed any time soon?"

A plaintive sigh. "If they must, I suppose. Throw me the shirt?" It's a shame to see him cover up, but your thinking was absolutely right when you bought this - he looks amazing in this. "See, I'm thinking that this colour needs silver jewellery instead…"

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 2&3 - 81

If you didn’t see my earlier post, I’m splitting HB2 into 2 books and extending book 3 a bit. HB4 starts in a few chapters.

Honor Bound 2&3 - 81 (Hurts to Breathe) @badthingshappenbingo​

Requested by anon & the bit at the end by @endless-whump

~

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.��

AO3

Cw: surgery, gore (non-graphic), death mention, brief noncon mention, amputation mention, dissoci@tion tw, blood, ketamine, needles, self-hatred

~

Watching Finn do surgery was like watching a nightmare happen in slow motion. Isaac kept his hand firmly on Sam’s leg, but his eyes kept drifting to where Finn was slicing Sam’s arm open over the bullet wound. Below the tourniquet, Sam’s arm was a mottled purple-and-white that made Isaac think of corpses. I guess that makes sense, he thought. There’s no blood happening in there.

He shook his head. No blood happening. He could barely stay on his feet.

He’d barely slept at all the night before. He’d been too busy solidifying the plan with Gavin and when their whispers had faded away to silence, they just laid together, breathing together. Isaac wasn’t sure if Gavin had been asleep for any of it. Isaac had been awake, burning, agonizingly aware of every inch of skin that was pressed against Gavin. Aching, from what Gavin and Leo had done to him. Fighting down the tears, knowing this would be the last time he’d get to be in bed with Gavin, knowing after this it would never happen again. Knowing he’d never get to touch Gavin again, after what he’d done. Knowing he didn’t deserve to, after what he’d asked for. Begged for. Maybe he slept. He could just barely remember dark punches of sound in his dreams, muzzle flashes, blood. Death. Maybe he’d slept, if he dreamt of his family dying.

Maybe he was still in one of those nightmares now.

Behind him, he heard someone stumble through the door. He tore his eyes away from Sam and turned to see Gavin and Vera walking in. Behind the hospital mask Gavin looked paler than usual, but better than before. Gavin stopped just inside the doorway and leaned against the wall across the room, his eyes fixed on Sam. He wrapped his arms around his chest and shivered.

Vera crossed behind Isaac to Lucy where she sat huddled in the opposite corner, watching her husband. Slow tears rolled down Lucy’s cheeks. Vera murmured something to Lucy. Asking for something, maybe. Isaac couldn’t hear, and didn’t want to try. He only wanted to see Sam, see them getting better. Lucy left the room.

Finn cut carefully. The bullet had gone clean through Sam’s arm. Hadn’t cavitated. Just straight through, with a small hole on either side. Sam’s eyes were blank, rolling slowly in their head, drifting, landing on something in the room, moving again. It was like their body was vacant. It was like Sam was miles away.

Finn breathed slowly as they concentrated, and cut. Trying to reach the bleed. Trying to reach the thing that would tell Finn if Sam was going to lose the arm.

I don’t think Finn can do an amputation here, Isaac thought, the words coming and meaning nothing. Amputation. Nothing meant anything right now. Isaac was here, and not-here, with Sam, and somewhere else. Somewhere he couldn’t describe, just felt. Somewhere distinctly empty.

He’d seen death before. Seen blood. Seen the wounds bullets could leave when they tore through a body and left shredded flesh behind them. He’d seen how a knife could lay someone open when it was being wielded to kill, not just torture. He’d seen what the body looked like on the inside. He’d seen what it looked like when something went so wrong that the pieces couldn’t be put together again.

Watching that on Sam was agony he’d never felt. I was supposed to protect them.

His chest ached with every breath, with every heartbeat. The pain had to be from the bullet. It had to be. The crushing feeling in his ribs, the feeling like he was being punched every single moment, it all had to be from the bruise that was still forming on his chest. There was something deeper, though. Something tearing deep inside him, deep inside the core of him. Something that surpassed any anguish he’d ever felt. Am I watching Sam die? Am I watching Sam die?

NO. They couldn’t be dying. They were getting blood, Tori’s blood. Gavin’s already ran through their veins, pumping through their heart. The blood would save them. And Finn. Finn would save them.

Finn cut deeper into Sam’s arm. More blood ran over the table and dripped onto the floor.

“I think I’m almost to the bleed,” Finn said softly, almost as if to themselves. “There’s, ah… there’s a nerve in the way, I think. I d-don’t know what that… shit…” Finn adjusted their hands. Sam shuddered and groaned softly.

“F-Finn?” Isaac croaked. “I th-think it’s… I think it’s starting to…”

“Fuck.” Finn looked at their gloved hands, covered with Sam’s blood, then looked over at the counter. “Isaac, can you… just bring the whole vial, and the syringe. Yeah. God, fuck. Topher, do you… are you alright if I just have that syringe needle out? I normally wouldn’t, but…”

“That’s fine,” Topher said weakly. Looking away from the wound in Sam’s arm.

“Okay.” Finn rasped as they took the vial and syringe from Isaac. Their fingers instantly left smears of blood on the glass and plastic.

As quickly as the ketamine had set in, it was wearing off. Sam’s skin went pale, paler, as tears rolled down their cheeks. They whimpered, and their right arm shifted on the table. Their wounded arm.

“NO!” Finn screamed, dropping the ketamine on the table and grabbing onto Sam’s arm. Sam’s mouth fell open in a twisted scream.

Isaac lunged forward to pin Sam’s arm down. Pain flared in his chest. “F-Finn,” he gasped. “Finn. You… get that… get that in them.”

Finn’s hands shook as they drew out more of the drug into the syringe. Sam strained against Isaac’s hands.

“I-Isaac,” they slurred. “Isaac, please, what’s ha-happening, what’s… ahh it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts…”

“I know,” Isaac whimpered. The blood congealing on Sam’s arm was sticky on his hands. “F-Finn’s gonna, gonna fix you up. Finn’s got more of the, of the ketamine…”

“No,” Sam sobbed, pulling harder on Isaac’s arm.

Ellis’s hand went behind Sam’s head, keeping their head turned so as not to disturb the needle in Sam’s neck. Their pleas rose to a wail, then a scream. The sound stabbed into Isaac’s ears, burned in his brain. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Finn,” Isaac whimpered. “Finn, please…”

“I got it,” Finn gasped. They didn’t bother asking Ellis to move, just reached past them and stabbed the needle into Sam’s arm. Finn retreated with the syringe, breathing hard. Tears shown in their eyes. “I’m sorry,” they whispered.

Every single second flared in Isaac’s chest as he waited for Sam’s pain to go away. Every breath hurt. Every breath hurt. Every heartbeat ached as Sam stopped begging with words and just screamed. Isaac’s knees buckled and he staggered. He looked up and Finn wasn’t even standing at the table. They had their bloody gloves off, standing at the counter, fiddling with something in front of them. Isaac couldn’t see it.

Isaac’s mouth was dry. “Finn, what—”

“Ketamine drip,” Finn snapped.

Isaac swallowed. “What—”

“Ketamine drip. To give them ketamine slowly, so th-that—” Finn threw their hand in Sam’s direction and their voice broke “—doesn’t happen again.

“Uh…” Topher looked up at Finn with his own gloves smeared with blood. “Do you want me to—”

“Start another line, please,” Finn said weakly. “Hopefully their veins are better now.”

Isaac threw a glance at Tori. She looked dizzy. Pale. Sam still screamed under his hands. Vera stepped forward as if reading Isaac’s mind.

“Babe?” Vera said tightly, her hand going to Tori’s shoulder.

Then, finally, Sam began to relax. They stopped straining against Isaac’s hands. Their head dropped back against the table and their eyelids fluttered shut.

“Ugh,” Sam mumbled. Slowly, their eyes opened again. “Wh-why is there, um, the, the air looking like that?”

“Like what, Sam?” Isaac said hoarsely.

“Um…” Sam gestured weakly with their left hand, waving it through the air. “Like… uh… whoa.” Their eyes focused slowly on their hand. “Uh… is that really there?”

Isaac glanced nervously at Finn as they injected a bag of fluids with more of the ketamine. He wet his lips. “Finn, what—”

“I can’t let that happen again,” Finn said with a sob. “C-can’t. So. Ketamine drip. 250 migs of ketamine in 250 mils of saline, one mig per mil, Sam needs thirty migs per ten minutes be, because, because that happened at around twelve. So, um… drip set of twenty drops per mil, twenty drops per mig, Sam needs, um, three migs per minute, so, um… three migs per minute with twenty drops per mig is…” Finn’s voice trailed off into silence. They stood frozen for a moment before they bent over the counter with a sob. “I… I can’t think, it’s… god, fuck, I don’t wanna do this, I don’t wanna do this, I don’t wanna do this…”

Ellis lurched towards Finn then stopped themselves short, their hand staying on Sam as if glued there.

Finn pressed their fists against their forehead. “Wh-why can’t I, I think, this is basic fucking math and I can’t do a, a simple goddamned med calculation and I… fuck, no…”

“Finn,” Topher said softly.

“…I can’t do this,” Finn moaned. “I’m not a fucking surgeon, I’m just a fucking idiot with ten fucking months of medical training and I… what if I… no…”

“Finn,” Topher said a little louder.

“…oh, god, what if I—”

“FINN!” Ellis barked from their spot at Sam’s side. Finn jumped and spun to look at Ellis. Ellis nodded at Topher. “I think he—”

“It’s sixty drops per minute, Finn,” Topher said, his voice shaking. “One drop per second. It’s a good calculation.”

Finn stood staring at Topher for a moment, trembling. Tears rolled down their cheeks. They gasped in a breath and turned back to the counter. “You’re right,” they whispered. “God, I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“No problem,” Topher murmured. He tied an IV tourniquet around Sam’s arm and looked for another vein.

“You think we could get a regular stick on Sam and let the blood go in from there so they can turn their head?” Finn said, still at the counter gently shaking a small bag of fluids.

“Sure. Wide bore. They’ve actually got a good AC now.”

Lucy walked back into the room carrying bottles of water under her arm, and a plate of sandwiches. “I… um… they’re PB&J.”

Vera crossed to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you,” she breathed. “Thank you so much.”

“Y-yeah.” Lucy’s eyes went first to Gavin where he leaned against the wall, shivering. She tentatively held out the plate to Gavin. Gavin took a sandwich with shining eyes, and left the garage to eat it.

Isaac turned back to Sam. They stared at him like they were looking at the ceiling through his head.

“Isssaac,” Sam slurred. “What’s…” They giggled weakly. “What’s going on?”

Isaac forced a smile. “Hey, Sam. How you doing?” It hurt to talk.

“I’m, I’m good,” they said. “I feel better. Did Finn fix it? Is it done?”

They’re going to be in so much pain when this finally wears off for good. “Not yet. Almost there.”

“Can I see?”

Isaac squeezed his eyes shut. “N-no, Sam. Not yet. You can’t turn your head.”

“Oh.”

Isaac opened his eyes and looked down at Sam. His sibling, his sibling was bleeding out on the table, their arm torn by a bullet that was meant for Isaac. It should have killed him, but Sam had been standing in front of him, unprotected, and he’d been in a vest. He flinched as the memory took him over for a moment. The bang, the spray of blood, the punch to his chest, the feeling of Sam falling against him. They hadn’t even screamed.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced away from Sam. Lucy stood at his side, holding out the plate of sandwiches and a bottle of water. He dipped his head and took the bottle, and a sandwich. “Thank you,” he murmured. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to eat anything. She nodded and moved on to Tori. He took a bite of the sandwich. Then another. The sandwich was gone so quickly Isaac wondered for the briefest moment if it had disappeared.

Finn returned to the table with the bag and some IV tubing in their hands. “How’s the line going?”

Isaac looked up dizzily and saw Topher finishing the IV in Sam’s arm. “Good,” Topher said.

These are all good things.

He stopped trying to pay attention to what was going on around him. He just looked at Sam. He looked at Sam as the new line was attached to their IV, blood and ketamine going in at the same time. He looked at them as the needle came out of their neck. He pushed down on the spot when Finn told him to and held the blood in until it could clot. It did. That was good, too. He looked at them as their eyes lazed slowly around the room, the pain as absent from their body as Isaac had ever seen. Sam looked like they were barely there, their mind hanging onto their body by a thread that could be cut. Sam looked like they were drifting farther and farther away.

I’d rather them be gone than in pain right now. Finn got back to cutting. Then stitching, pulling the muscle and skin of Sam’s arm together that had been torn, obliterated. Isaac tried not to look as Finn smeared superglue over the repaired tear in Sam’s artery. He tried not to look when Finn had Topher hold Sam’s arm up so they could repair the other side.

Sam heaved a deep sigh. Isaac’s eyes snapped to theirs, having wandered to watch Finn fix Sam.

“Isaac?” Sam asked thickly, as if their mouth was moving with no instructions from their brain.

“Yeah?” Isaac put his hand on Sam’s knee and squeezed.

“Do you still hate me?”

A chill rocked through Isaac, burning, freezing, tearing him apart from the inside, so much worse than the simple bruise on his chest. “What?”

“The things you said. About hating me and wishing I died.” Sam’s face was blank. Not from holding back emotion, but from there not being any emotion at all.

Isaac could feel eyes on him. His own eyes burned with tears and spilled over before he could stop it. “I…”

“I think they had you say that during the whipping so I would, um, believe it. So I wouldn’t be able to think that you don’t. But… do you?”

Isaac looked away, desperate for a minute, a fucking minute, to hold down his sobs, push away his agony, so he could answer Sam the way he wanted to. With calm words and gentle reassurances. Not screaming in guilt and fury. Not falling to his knees. Not disappearing within himself, where those words would surround him and punish him and insulate him from ever hurting Sam like that again. He needed a fucking minute, so he wouldn’t break. He needed some time.

His gaze landed on Gavin where he still stood slumped against the wall. Gavin had his hands to his mouth and was shaking with silent tears. Gavin saw it, too, and he was the one who drew Sam’s blood as I said those things. He’s the one who heard every single one of them. He’s the one who took Sam away from me in the first place.

Isaac fell back a step from the table, shuddering. He wrapped his arms around his chest and squeezed. He gasped at the pain. Welcomed it. I said those things because I was weak. I broke. I…

If I’d protected them from the beginning…

If I had died rather than beg them to come for me…

If I had been strong enough to kill Gavin when I had the chance…

If I…

If I…

If I…

If I…

Something in his chest cracked. Shattered. Was that a rib, or something else? Did it matter? He was broken, he was broken, and it was his fault Sam was broken, too.

“Isaac?” Sam’s voice held a perfect innocence. Concern, weaving gently through his name.

A second wave of agony rocked through him, deeper. Raw. Cutting into the core of who he was. I hated myself before I ever loved them.

Something shifted in him. Something he’d never even realized until that moment. I hated myself before I ever loved them. He took a step towards the table. His hand went back to Sam’s leg.

“No, Sam,” he whispered. “I never hated you. Not even once.” I said that to save their life. I was going to break, to let them live, no matter how much it hurt me.

“Good,” Sam sighed, their eyes fluttering shut. “I thought so.”

This time Isaac did stagger and drop to his knees. He reached across Sam and clutched at their opposite shoulder as Finn kept working beside Isaac. He felt a small hand cover his and squeeze. He looked up. Sam looked at him and smiled.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts​, @womping-grounds​, @blue-flare10​, @free-2bmee​​, @quirkykayleetam​, @walkingchemicalfire​, @inpainandsuffering​, @redwingedwhump​, @burtlederp​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​, @insomniacscoprio​, @cursedscribbles​, @whumpywhumper​, @stxck-fxck​, @omega-em-z-02​, @whumps-the-word​, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood​, @justplainwhump​, @moose-teeth​, @slaintetowhump​, @finder-of-rings​, @inky-whump​, @thatsthewhump​, @orchidscript​, @insanitywishes​, @cinnamonflavoredhugs​, @this-mightaswell-happen​, @newandfiguringitout​, @whumpkitty​, @pretty-face-breaker​

[withtegwyn]

Funny story, well not to me. This was my first oil painting from 10 years ago or so. I painted it for a man who I felt like I owed something to. Not a lover nor a friend. I woke in his bed one time and he introduced me to the gay scene. He paid for everything and I was naive to not question it.

He introduced me to his friends. Thats when I met him.

I first met Gavin on his 28th birthday. After yet another heavy night I woke up in a luxury new apartment down the Bay. You know the ones, bachelor pad, black leather sofa, shiny black fitted kitchen and a tiny chihuahua. Gays love that shit. This is not Gavin's. This was Chiny's place aka “The Godfather”. Turns out the next few months of my life were going to involve Chiny buying me drinks and making home cooked ketamine all for a price that wasn't clear to me then. 

I stumbled outside for a fag while Chiny tries to talk down someone on the phone. From half a conversation I got,

“You don't need to kill yourself, your fine!....what are you on about?......WELL YOU KNOW WHAT! Do it. Do us all a favour.”

Gavin was on his way over to be ready for Chiny to take him out for his birthday after they dropped me at the train station. I was sitting at the wicker patio set out back looking like a grungy turd when Gavin arrived. He was wearing cargo shorts, a short sleeved checked shirt and a flat cap. The whole outfit bleached to a fleshy tint, leaving him looking like a seafood sandwich filler. Between me feeling hungover and his apparent suicidal threats, conversation was thin.

“Alriiight?” Gavin asked.

“Bit rough”

“Where you from en?”

“Llanharry, near Pontyclun”

“I know it, sometimes down that way, you know the Bores Head?”

“No, Happy birthday by the way.”

Chiny shouted croakily, “Ready?” He will later go on to tell me that Gavin didn’t think very much of me.

It didn't take long to see that most guys on the scene gravitated towards Chiny and it certainly wasn't a desire for is hook dick but more for his fat wallet. He owns a historical pub near the coast, thatched roof, original beams, more original than the narrative I found myself in. The whole gig was inherited so he cultivated nothing. All he did was maintain a history that owed nobody anything. Additionally there are neatly packaged coach tours to sponge up American tourist money ready to be rinsed out into my pint glass. 

In my naivety I gained friends. Chiny bought me as his latest lucky charm, one of many. Another one of these was Darren, a club diva working the Saturdays. In the summer of 2014 I was entering Wow bar through the side entrance with Chiny and Gavin while they both sniffed for gossip from the DJ and I sat next to Darren. Someone who is use to dragging up on the weekends I was surprised when he said;

“Fair play you got some balls wearing though’s leggings out, I would never be able to wear what you do!”

I noticed that me dressing the way I do at 2pm on a summers day as myself could not be more different from him dressing up as a different character. It took me a while to realise that all the time that my new friends mocked me or treated me as other, it was because they admired me. I had something. I simply didn't give a fuck.

Whigfield plays “Saturday night, I feel the air is getting hot!” NO. The only thing getting hot is my burning nostril. After knocking back a few JD’s in Wow we all headed to Ladybird to melt faces with the straights for a ketamine fuelled techno night. My kind are not traditionally welcome in straight bars like Ladybird, I once got refused on Halloween for wearing fancy dress. I was in my normal clothes. I managed to avoid too much alienation by sticking to my new mates. Not yet having a certain preservation for my masculinity at this point, most the hot gays were not keen to jump on my boat, so I mostly stuck with Chiny.

Everything had a red haze. Despite being a small attic club. It was crowded as fuck but thankfully there was a layer of sticky drinks on the floor to keep my balance. There was a cute guy trying to bite the air but I liked how his face gave up half way down so I leaned in and asked Chiny who he was, he said;

“STAY AWAY from him, he has HIV.”

We ordered shots. 

Few words were exchanged between me and Gavin when we we're out. He spent most of his time bouncing from space to space screaming seagull noises and sliding down bannisters while flirting with randomers. Not to get laid but to get a reaction. At kick out time I decided to go with Gavin and continue the night down the castle grounds while Chiny called it a night. Being his age I'm surprised he's not dead yet. This is when tensions started to rise between the three of us and where my ownership displayed itself. Chiny was buying me and me going with Gavin did not sit well. I didn't know it but Gavin had won something. Me apparently.

[conn-tinuity]

Gavin: Sometimes I just touch my face and I'm like. I have bones under my skin. It's so wild.

Gavin: Please ignore me I'm high on ketamine.

Connor: I wish I had bones.

Nines: I wish I had ketamine.

[bobskiii87-blog]

People Told Us About Their Worst Drug-Related Injuries

It's a universally accepted fact that while drugs can be incredibly fun, they can also be incredibly dangerous, and make you say and do some very stupid shit. The spectrum of stupid shit ranges from texting your ex to thinking you can fly, but somewhere in the middle there is "sustaining a horrendous self-inflicted injury".

I spoke to some people who have caused themselves various degrees of pain or a life-long deformity while under the influence of narcotics.

DISCLAIMER: Obviously all of the drug use detailed below is wildly stupid and irresponsible. For some tips on safer drug use, read VICE's Safe Sesh editorial series or check out Safer Use Limits.

JESSIE, 28

I completely fucked my face up falling face-down at a rave in a tunnel in Glasgow. I'd ingested about a gram of MD, washed down with a lot of Cava and vodka, and ended up breaking my labial plates and knocking my teeth out to the point that the back of them touched the roof of my mouth and the roots broke. I pretty much just broke my mouth. I went into work the next day because I was still completely fucked and hadn’t realised what had happened, or bothered to look in a mirror. I was working in a horrid chain coffee shop and they made me do the dishes all morning because I looked liked Genesis P-Orridge, but then they found me vomiting into the dishwasher and my manager decided to drive me to A&E. I have a strong memory of "Better Off Alone" playing in the waiting room.

The roots have died, so it's basically an unknown time bomb in terms of my teeth – they were like, "Either tomorrow, in five years or maybe ten, you will get extreme pain and your teeth will turn black." I made my orthodontist cry because I'd had two operations, ten teeth out and years of braces – a work of NHS angelicism – and then I went and got fucked and spoiled everything.

WATCH: The Truth About Ecstasy

GAVIN, 23

I fucked up my back trying to do death drops to Drake's "Nice for What" while coked up. I don’t even like the song that much, but for some reason after a smashing my way through half a bag of coke I decided it was imperative that I do a perfect death drop to the bit where it goes "watch the breakdown". Seeing as I have absolutely no experience with death dropping, past binge-watching RuPaul's Drag Race, I was essentially just repeatedly slamming into the floor of my friend's house while screeching at her to rewind the song on YouTube to get to the right bit. I remember, while doing the cocaine, having a fleeting thought about feeling pain the next day, but I thought it would be because of the drugs and not because I would spend my evening fucking up my back to the point that it now hurts to get up. It's been a month.

TOM, 30

I was living in Norwich and just doing the standard weekend warrior thing – working in the week and then beer and packet till I die, or at least until the comedowns get too brutal – on the weekend. One night, me and my mate were stumbling back from the club really mashed when we spotted the Tesco bins were open and decided to have a look inside. Managed to get a few loaves of bread and some doughnuts, I think – was decent. As we were stumbling home with our arms full of bread, my mate said something really funny and I laughed so hard I fell backwards over a very high wall and landed on my head.

I don't really remember falling or landing, I just remember a white noise in my ears and sitting on the floor with bread around me, until my mates' screams permeated my head and I realised I must have fallen over. I got up and we walked back home, but the back of my head was pretty much open according to my mate, so he panic-called an ambulance eventually. I got to the hospital and had like eight stitches in the back of my head. I still have the scar on the back of my head today.

MAYA, 26

I was at an 18th birthday party in a community hall. It was actually quite a civilised affair, with the birthday girl's family there and everything, but I had a small to middle-sized drug problem so I was sneaking off to do ketamine in the toilets at regular intervals. At some point later in the evening, me and my boyfriend at the time – who had also been taking ketamine – decided to participate in a piggy-back race. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t go well, and he slipped, causing me to front-flip off his shoulders and land on my collarbone and left arm.

I hate attention, so I waved everyone off and told them I was fine, and pushed through to the end of the party. It wasn't until the ketamine had worn off and I tried to get into bed that I realised how much pain I was in: it literally took me 15 minutes to lower myself from a seated position to lying down. I woke up the next morning and cried to my mum until she took me to A&E, where I found out I'd sprained both my collarbone and arm. I spent the next month in a sling.

DANNY, 23

I had too much ket and K ciders at Printworks and I fell and smashed my face on the floor. My teeth went through my lip and broke. I got taken to A&E by ambulance and was just sitting in the back picking pieces of tooth out of my flesh. My teeth are only chipped, but they have to be removed at some point because they're dead. I'm going to get tooth implants at 23.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

from VICE https://ift.tt/2IIL08O via https://ift.tt/2hybfwu

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 4 - 1

Honor Bound 4 - 1 (On the Run) @badthingshappenbingo​​

Requested by anon.

Let me know if you want on or off the taglist!

~

This is a series. We resume from where Honor Bound 3 ended here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, and Honor Bound 3. 

AO3

Cw: dissoci@tion, briefest mention of possible suicidal ideations, blood, ketamine mention, thoughts of death, narcotics mention, past noncon mention

~

Isaac felt like he might keel over and die right in the middle of the road. His hands were tightened into fists on the wheel as he drove slowly into Crayton, just one car on his tail this time. He glanced at it in the rearview every few seconds. His throat worked around a nervous swallow as he returned his eyes to the road.

Vera sat rigid beside him. Isaac didn’t think she’d taken a breath in at least thirty seconds. Every now and then she glanced back at Tori. Tori sat slumped against the door of the car, eyes blank and unfocused, staring out into the dark. It was almost midnight. All of them had barely slept since yesterday.

They’d all caught snatches of sleep every now and then, nodding off onto the shoulders of the people next to them, jerking awake moments later with a jolt of terror. We still aren’t safe yet. We still have to get to Gray.

Ellis sat next to Tori. One hand sat gently on Tori’s hand on the seat, and the other reached back towards Finn. Finn clutched at Ellis with one hand and with the other touched Sam. On their hair, on their back, on their leg. Constantly moving. Constantly desperate to help. Constantly able to do nothing.

Isaac was almost grateful he couldn’t see Sam in the dark. He knew exactly what they would look like; they hadn’t changed in the entire drive north, starting yesterday afternoon, stretching through the night, through the entire next day, and now halfway through this night. Everyone had driven except Sam and Tori. Everyone was barely able to stay conscious. Isaac wished he could sleep and never wake up.

Even though he couldn’t see Sam, he could hear them. Hear their whimpers, their ragged breaths, their cries every time he drove over a bump. He knew the seat must be soaked in their sweat and stained with blood. Finn had stopped the bleeding in Sam’s arm at Lucy and Topher’s house, and it hadn’t started bleeding again. Their whip marks, on the other hand, had broken open and bled into the fabric of the seat as they writhed against the pain in their arm. The pain had started just a few minutes after they left the house.

“Ketamine doesn’t last very long,” Finn had offered as an explanation. As if that was all Isaac needed. As if could rest easy in that knowledge, with Sam nearly delirious with pain, the pills Finn was feeding them seeming to do almost nothing. “They’d be screaming if they didn’t have them,” Finn said. “Believe me, they’re helping.” Isaac’s chest ached with every little sound Sam made. His hands tightened further on the steering wheel.

He started slightly as Vera brushed the back of his hand with her fingers. “We’ll be okay,” she murmured. “We’ll get through. No matter what, we’ll get through.”

Isaac swallowed hard. “What if they—”

“They won’t.” Vera’s mouth hardened into a line.

“But what—”

“If they do…” Vera drew in a deep breath and pushed it out slowly. “…we’ll handle it. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

If we have to shoot our way out of this, we’ll start a war with the north. We’ll never be safe, north or south. We’ll always have to run. We’ll always be days or moments away from being killed. How will I keep my family safe, then? How will I protect them all when the entire world wants us tortured or dead? Isaac’s eyes filled with tears. How many times will I have to try to die for them before I actually keep them safe from something?

He already knew the answer. As many as it takes.

Vera pushed his shoulder and he started again. He shot a glance at her. Her skin was almost black in the darkness, but he could see her eyes burning into him in the light coming from the headlights. “Stop it,” she said gently. “I can see you’re spiraling.”

“I’m not spiraling,” Isaac said, and consciously relaxed his hands. “I’m… um…” He shrugged. “…worried.”

Vera kept looking at him even after he looked back at the road. “Okay,” she said softly. She turned back to face the front. “Okay.”

By now, they’d passed most of the houses and were entering Crayton proper. The streets were wider, albeit still torn up, haphazardly paved. Done with the best the town could do. The gatekeepers of the north, defending all the people beyond it from the meager attempts the syndicates waged to tear them apart. No one cared about the north.

They would, if they knew where we were.

Isaac pulled into the square and slowed the car to a stop. He carefully opened his door, his hands raised. A floodlight attached to the car following them blazed on and blinded Isaac. He blinked and turned his head away from the light.

He couldn’t see past the light, but he could hear two car doors slamming, and the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. His hands shook. He tried to hold them steady. He heard a short intake of breath as two figures stepped into the floodlight.

“Are… are you… Isaac Moore?”

Isaac bit his lip. Oh, god. Please let that not be a bad thing. “Y-yeah,” he rasped.

“And you… did you really…?”

“Please,” he breathed. He motioned to the car with his head. “Please. We’ve got… we’ve got a few who are hurt. We just escaped from C-Colleen Stormbeck, and… please. We need to find Gray Uriah. They’re our family and we just need to… just need to find them.”

“Who else is with you?” the other voice asked nervously.

“My family,” Isaac said weakly, turning and gesturing to the car. The others were all slowly climbing out. All but Gavin.

Gavin’s not with us. Have to sell that. Have to make them believe it, too. He couldn’t let them know that Gavin crouched on the floor in the back seat, huddled under a blanket, probably praying just as hard as Isaac was that they wouldn’t search the car too closely.

Tori hobbled away from the car and Vera rushed to her side. Ellis got out of the car and immediately went to help Finn pull Sam out. Sam’s head lolled on their neck, sweat shining on their skin. Isaac’s stomach dropped. We need to get them help. More blood, maybe. And rest.

Isaac let his hands fall to his sides, slowly, slowly. One figure appeared in the beam of the floodlight, a gun held tight in his hands but low to the ground. Peering at the family. Nervous, but not suspicious.

Not yet.

Not helpful.

The other stepped into the light and stopped by Isaac’s side. “Did you really kill Colleen Stormbeck?” she murmured.

“Yes,” Isaac said weakly. “But we have to get to Gray Uriah… please… please…”

Isaac turned and the man was peering through the windows of their car, shining a flashlight in each one and moving on. He opened the trunk and nodded when he saw the meager supply of food the family had left over from their twenty-hour sprint to the north. He finally turned and went back to his partner’s side. They both holstered their guns.

“You were here before,” the man said. “A few weeks ago. You were going to go…”

“And we killed her,” Isaac said, desperation growing. Sam stumbled and fell against Finn’s side. They cried out weakly and staggered, nearly falling to their knees.

Isaac’s hands curled into fists. Tears threatened in his eyes. “Please,” he whispered.

The silhouettes of the man and woman looked at each other, then looked back at Isaac. The woman spoke. “…and what happened to Gavin Stormbeck?”

Isaac wet his lips and shivered in the cool night. “He’s, um, dead.”

The woman sucked in a breath through her lips. “Him, too? The entire Stormbeck family is dead?”

“He didn’t die a Stormbeck,” Isaac whimpered. “He died one of us.”

“He was never one of you,” the man snapped. “They don’t change.”

“He did,” Isaac said, a little firmer. Arguing with them is pointless. He isn’t dead. But Sam is hurt. Sam is bleeding. He shook his head. “Please,” he begged again. “Please. Gray Uriah. We just want to find them so we can recoup. Please.”

The two looked at each other again and held each other’s gaze for a long moment. The woman nodded. The man looked to Isaac and gestured with his hand to the car. “Go,” he said softly. “I know your names. I’ll get you checked in with the city hall.”

Isaac’s breath rushed out of him. “Thank you.”

The man shrugged. “If you killed Colleen Stormbeck…” He spread his hands. “…it’s the least we can do.”

Isaac wet his lips. “And… and Gray Uriah?”

The man gestured past the car, pointing north. “Keep going. They moved to a farmhouse with the young one… what was her name?”

“Edrissa Clarke,” Isaac and Vera said at the same time.

“Right,” the woman murmured. “Head north out of Crayton. They’re a few hours out still. This road will take you to Burmingham, take a right on first street there and follow that out for about twelve miles. There will be a fork. Take the right one. On the left will be a lake, and the farmhouse is just past the lake on the left.”

Isaac squeezed his eyes shut, visualizing the directions. “Take this out of Crayton, go to Burmingham, right on first, twelve miles, fork, right, pass the lake, farmhouse on the left.”

“Right.” The woman shrugged awkwardly. “So… I guess…”

Isaac was already turning to go. “Thank you,” he said in a rush. He went immediately to Sam’s side and half-carried them to the back seat. They flinched and wailed pitifully as his arm pressed against the whip marks on their back. “I’m sorry,” Isaac murmured as his eyes filled with tears.

“I-Isaac,” they whimpered. Their left hand closed on his shirt. “Isaac, it… it hurts…”

Isaac looked desperately at Finn as he helped Sam into the car. “Finn…?”

Finn shuddered and shook their head. “Can’t give more Vicodin. It has Tylenol in it, Isaac. If I overdose them, I fuck their liver. Tylenol overdoses are very hard to manage, even in the hospital. I c-can’t… help them…” Finn dissolved into a sob.

Isaac grabbed Finn and dragged them into a crushing hug. “Not your fault,” he whispered. “Not your fault. Let’s just get them to Gray. We’ll see if Gray can get them something else. Do you think they’ll need more blood?”

Finn ran a hand through their hair. “Fluids, at least,” they said, biting their lip. “Maybe blood. I don’t know. I haven’t checked a pressure in a while.”

“Let me know,” Isaac said as he stepped away. He rushed to the driver’s seat and jumped when he saw Vera already sitting there.

“I’ll drive,” she said as she stuck her thumb at the passenger seat. “It’s only a few more hours. I’ll drive.”

“Are you sure?” Isaac said weakly, already moving.

“Sure,” Vera said as Isaac appeared on the other side of the car. “No problem. Let’s just go.”

Isaac nodded slowly and pulled the door closed. Vera glanced in the rearview to make sure everyone was in, and slowly got the car rolling. Isaac thought he could see Vera’s jaw clench and he was sure she was looking at Tori.

He reached out and squeezed Vera’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We’ll get her back.”

Vera sniffed. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then another. Finally, she said, “You don’t know that. She’s never been gone this long before. She’s never…” Vera swallowed hard, and Isaac could hear the sob she was fighting down. “She’s… god, Isaac, look at her. She’s…”

“She’s not broken,” he said gently. “Not completely. You found your way back from this. You found a way.”

Vera cast a glance back at Tori, then back to the road. “We’re all broken,” she said bitterly.

Isaac opened his mouth to protest. He closed it slowly.

She’s right, Isaac thought heavily. We are all broken. Tori’s hurt beyond repair, Ellis nearly lost their mind, Finn is eaten alive with guilt, Vera’s voice was taken away again, Gavin thinks he deserves to die for hurting us when he’s the only one who could have gotten us out, and Sam…

Isaac’s mind cried out when he thought of Sam. Over and over, unbidden, images flashed across his mind of Sam’s bruises, the lines on their back left from the whip, the marks around their neck from where they’d been dragged and pinned and strangled with the collar. Their whimpering sobs cut through him like a knife. I told Sam I hate them. I let them hurt Sam. I begged them to hurt them. They’re broken, shattered beyond repair, and it’s because of me. Scalding rage moved through his chest. This is all because of me.

He couldn’t think at all about the ways he’d been broken. He couldn’t think of his own scars, his own wounds, his own pain. He pushed it down. It was irrelevant. Unimportant. His pain meant nothing, because he was supposed to suffer for his family. That’s what he was for.

No. He pulled himself back from the edge of that cliff. I hated myself before I ever loved them. His pain meant something, because what if he wasn’t meant to hurt? What if he was meant for something else, instead?

He couldn’t think of how broken he was, because he was most broken in his mind. He was so broken, he’d gotten feelings for his one-time captor. For the man who beat him, scarred him, very nearly killed him. Very nearly killed Sam. He now felt something for the man who had changed. Who had renounced his name and his birthright, who gave up on everything he’d ever known to come be a captive and an informant on his own family. Who had found a way to be good, despite everything he’d done, everything he’d been through. He felt something now for the man that sacrificed his soul to keep his family safe. He felt something for the man that had hurt him. Violated him, on his mother’s orders. He felt something for the man he’d asked to make him feel good, to make him feel like he was being made love to, instead of being chained down and raped.

I could never love Gavin Stormbeck, Isaac thought. But I could be in love with Gavin Uriah. I could be with him, if only he wanted me, too.

Isaac swallowed hard. When they finally left Crayton, Isaac turned.

“You can come out now,” he said softly. Gavin emerged slowly from behind the seat, eyes wide and terrified. They found Isaac’s and didn’t let go until Isaac turned around to face the front.

Continued here

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Honor Bound 2&3 - 79

If you didn’t see my earlier post, I’m splitting HB2 into 2 books and extending book 3 a bit. HB4 starts in a few chapters. 

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: conditioning mention, needles, blood, IVs (including one in the neck), surgery mention (but no actual surgery), mention of possible amputation, sharing needles mention (in medical setting), emesis mention, ketamine, broken bones mention

~

Finn’s stomach lurched as they looked up at Lucy’s gasp. Her mouth fell open, then closed again, shaking until Finn thought she might collapse.

“Lucy…” Vera said softly, and took a step in front of Gavin. “Let me explain.”

“Is… is he… Gavin Stormbeck?” Lucy hissed.

“No,” Vera said through clenched teeth. “Not anymore. He’s ours now. You heard the rumors that Gavin Stormbeck was dead, right?”

Lucy nodded slowly. “Y-yes,” she said softly. “We h-heard that h-he was, was dead, and he c-came back last month.” Lucy fell a half-step back, into the house. Finn glanced between Vera and Lucy. Their hands were frozen in the air over Sam.

“Well…” Vera stepped fully in front of Gavin, her hands at her sides. “…he’s ours now. He’s different. We fucked him up and we b-broke his, um…” She licked her lips. “…c-conditioning, I guess. He can’t hurt people now. He’s… he’s ours.”

Lucy stared wide-eyed at Gavin. “He… won’t…?”

“No.”

Lucy’s eyes filled with tears and she heaved a broken sob. “If he… if y-you brought him, him here, and he—”

“He won’t. I bet my life on it.”

Lucy swallowed hard. “Y-yeah. You do.”

Everyone stood in a tense, frozen silence. Sam whimpered again.

Gavin jerked forward like he’d been dealt a blow. “S-Sam,” he whispered. “Sam, I, um, I’m giving you my blood, okay?” Gavin looked up at Finn with desperate eyes. “Right?” he said softly, with tears in his eyes. “Right now?” The mask on Gavin’s face pulled in and out with each breath.

Finn shook themselves. “Yeah,” they said, their breath catching in their throat. “Come, come here.” They went to the counter where Topher had been working and picked up the IV tubing, careful not to let the needles on either end touch anything.

“Um, Gavin?” Finn looked around the garage. “Um…” They looked to Lucy. “Is there, maybe, a stool? A tall chair? Something to get him up higher than Sam.”

“We have some tall chairs in the kitchen,” Lucy said breathlessly. “Let me—” She was gone before she finished her sentence.

Finn didn’t look up as they pulled Gavin closer, inspecting the veins in his arm. “Vera,” they said tightly, “Get the bottle of alcohol and some gauze pads. And that IV tourniquet I put somewhere…”

“Here,” Gavin said, holding it in his hand. It was shaking.

“Trade you,” Finn said as they passed the tubing to Gavin. “Don’t let the needles touch anything. It needs to be as sterile as possible.” Vera returned to their side with the alcohol and gauze as Finn tied the IV tourniquet around Gavin’s arm. The veins popped to the surface almost immediately. Lucy stumbled into the garage, carrying a large bar stool with a back.

“Bring it here,” Finn ordered, not bothering to soften their tone. Sam is dying, Sam is dying, Sam is dying, Sam is dying, Sam is dying. Lucy placed the chair at the side of the table, next to Sam’s uninjured arm.

Finn pushed Gavin roughly into it. “Sit,” they said gruffly. Gavin sank into the chair. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

Finn glanced up, then took the alcohol and gauze. “You scared of needles?” they said as they wiped the crook of Gavin’s elbow clean.

Gavin shook his head, his eyes fixed on Sam. “N-no,” he mumbled. “Just the… the, um… the blood.”

“I need you to keep your shit together, Gavin,” Finn snapped. “At least until I’ve gotten some blood from you.”

Gavin nodded desperately, the tubing still held tight in his hand. “Yeah. Yeah. For Sam.”

“Okay.” Finn glanced up at Vera. “Vera, can you help me?” She jumped forward, her hands outstretched. “Okay. Turn Sam’s head to the side. Towards Gavin, so they don’t have to look at what I’m doing.” Vera gently turned Sam’s head, her fingers running gently through their damp curls. They whimpered.

“Okay…” Finn murmured. “Okay.” They looked Gavin full in the face. “Okay. This is just gonna be a straight-up needle,” Finn said carefully. “Not like in the hospital. No plastic catheter. So you’re going to have to keep your arm straight, or you’ll push the needle right through. I can tie your arm to a board, if that helps.”

Gavin shrugged. His eyes never left Sam. “Whatever. Either. Um. For Sam.”

Finn pressed their lips together. “Okay. I’m going to put the needle in you, and it’s going to bleed into the tubing. I really, really need you to not pass out.” Gavin nodded. “Okay.”

Finn took one end of the tubing from Gavin. They slid the needle deftly into Gavin’s skin. Gavin hissed and closed his eyes as blood began to run into the tubing.

Finn pinched the other end closed right as blood began to dribble out the other end. “Shit,” they whispered, looking around for the tape. “Vera, can you… Gavin, hold that needle in place. Open your eyes. There you go, now hold that.” Gavin pressed his hand against the needle, trembling. Finn reached for the counter for a small roll of tape. With the other end of the tubing pinched between their fingers, they quickly taped the needle down to Gavin’s skin.

“Okay.” Finn let out a breath. “Vera, now I need you to hold Sam. Gently, just… just so they…” Finn swallowed hard. Sam was so pale. Finn wiped the side of their neck clean with the alcohol.

Vera moved so Finn could have access to Sam’s neck. She crouched down so she was at eye level with Sam.

“Sam, honey,” Vera said softly, tremulously. Their eyes opened hazily. Finn adjusted the needle in their hand.

“I’m scared,” Sam whimpered. “It, it hurts…” They shook with weak sobs.

“I know,” Vera said, as tears rolled down her cheeks. “But Topher went to get you something for the pain. Alright? It’s only going to hurt a little while longer. They’ll get you fixed up.”

“Are they g-going to…” Sam whimpered as Finn pulled the skin at the base of their neck tight.

The vein there stood out slightly from their skin. Nowhere near as much as it should have. Finn swallowed hard. They slid the needle into Sam’s neck and felt the slightest pop as they entered the vein. They bit their lip as they let go of the tubing, letting the blood flow into Sam. If I missed the vein, I’ll know when their neck swells. Finn shivered. Please, please let me not have missed the vein. Finn’s hand shook as they taped the needle down to Sam’s neck. They crouched over Sam, too, their hair brushing Vera’s.

“Sam,” Finn said softly. “Gavin’s giving you some blood, okay? And wh-when Topher gets back, I’ll fix you up. He’ll have something for the pain.”

“Are you going to…?” Sam’s face twisted and they wailed weakly. “Are you going to, to, to cut me open?” they sobbed. “Finn no, Finn please, no, I’m scared, please d-don’t…”

“I have to, Sam,” Finn said, their voice shaking. “I h-have to. You’ll bleed to death if I don’t. Or you’ll… if I don’t get that tourniquet off you soon, you’ll lose that arm. We have to do this.”

“H-have you… done this before?” Sam said, pleading. Finn wanted to believe their skin was getting pinker.

“No, Sam,” Finn said. A shudder rolled over their shoulders. No, I’ve never done this before. Whenever it’s something with my family, it’s something I haven’t done before. I never know for sure if I can save you. Never.

Tears poured from Sam’s eyes, streaming back into their hair. “No,” they moaned. “I’m scared, I’m… Isaac…”

Isaac lunged forward along the table. His hands flew towards Sam. He trembled and his hand landed on Sam’s leg. “I’m here, Sam,” Isaac croaked. His chest still heaved with each breath.

“Isaac,” Finn said softly. “Why are you still wearing the vest?”

Isaac jumped and looked down as if his body had suddenly turned invisible. “Um…” He fumbled at the straps. “I don’t know.”

“Let me take a look,” Finn said weakly, and beckoned Isaac over. “We only have a… a minute…” Finn glanced at Lucy. “Right? Til Topher gets back?”

“Any second,” Lucy said weakly. “It’s not that far away. Any second.”

“Okay,” Finn murmured. Isaac pulled the vest off over his head, whining softly as his he let his arms fall again and dropped it to the floor. Finn bit their lip and pulled the front of Isaac’s shirt up over his chest. It was soaked with Isaac’s sweat. They took in a sharp breath at the ugly bruise that spread across Isaac’s chest, almost dead center in the middle of his sternum. Finn pressed gently on the ribs around it, and over Isaac’s sternum. Isaac winced and groaned softly as Finn felt for breaks. They didn’t feel any shifting, any crunching. They glanced away for a moment and saw Gavin staring at Isaac’s chest with horror and crushing guilt. It’s not just the bruise, Finn realized with a start. Gavin’s never seen Isaac’s scars. They let Isaac’s shirt fall. Isaac’s face flushed with something that looked like shame. Finn opened their mouth to ask—

Topher jogged into the garage with a bag slung over his shoulder. His face was red and sweaty. He panted as he went straight for the counter and dumped the bag over it.

“What did you get?” Finn rasped. There was more than just painkillers on the counter.

“More suture kits, extra gauze sponges, forceps, more alcohol, antibiotics, extra gloves, more sterile gloves—”

“What did you get for pain?” Finn said desperately.

Topher held up a small vial. “Ketamine. I figured narcotics wouldn’t cut the—”

Finn sobbed and collapsed forward, nearly falling onto Sam. “Ketamine’s perfect,” they whimpered. “Ketamine’s…”

“Ketamine’s good stuff,” Gavin said faintly. Finn looked at them in confusion. He met their eyes slowly. “Shot in the chest,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on the floor. Finn swallowed and turned back to Sam.

“I don’t know how you dose animals,” Finn said. “I’ve heard point three to point five milligrams per kilogram for IV pain management, sometimes more, with—”

“Let’s just stick with human dosages,” Topher said uneasily. “That sounds fine.”

Finn looked Sam over. They definitely looked pinker than they had five minutes ago, though not by much. They cast a glance at Gavin. He looked pale behind the mask. Finn couldn’t tell if it was the blood loss, or seeing the blood soaked into everything Sam was wearing, dripping off the side of the table. Finn chewed their lip.

“Um…” Finn looked at Topher. “Do you know how to take a blood pressure on a human?”

“Yeah,” Topher said weakly. They pushed the vial into Finn’s hand and disappeared from Sam’s side to rustle through the cabinets.

Finn went to the counter with the medical supplies and selected the syringe and needle they needed. Okay. Okay. Calm. You can do this. Let’s go middle of the road with the dosaging to start, since they’re got to stay still for fucking surgery, but I don’t want to have to manage an airway. Point five milligrams per kilogram. Sam is about sixty kilos, so 30 milligrams… in a concentration of 100 milligrams per milliliter… which is… fuck, fuck, no, it’s okay, calm down, that’s just point three milliliters. Finn pulled up the amount they needed and stepped back towards Sam. Topher was just letting the air out of the blood pressure cuff. He turned to Finn.

“I got one-oh-two over sixty-two. I’m pretty certain of it.”

“Let me just make sure,” Finn said quickly. They took the stethoscope from Topher and pumped up the blood pressure cuff again. They carefully watched the needle as they let the air out. Satisfied, they tossed the stethoscope onto the counter. “One-oh-four over sixty. Good ear.”

Topher nodded. “Okay. Good.”

Finn glanced up at Gavin. He no longer looked pale. He looked green. They leapt forward and pinched the IV tubing shut.

“Fuck,” Finn spat. “Shit. I’m sorry, Gavin. I… I took too much.”

“It’s just the blood,” Gavin said weakly. “I can smell it. Through the, through the mask.”

The smell hit Finn like a freight train. They didn’t even noticed it until Gavin said it. Now it was the only thing they could smell.

“Still. You’ve given enough. You get a break.” Finn gently pulled the needle from Gavin’s arm and held their thumb over the skin where the needle had been.

Topher raised an eyebrow. “Are you content to share needles? Or…”

“No,” Finn said quickly. “Topher, can you… would you mind… would you cut off the end of that and start with a new needle? For Vera?”

“Of course.” Topher pulled on some gloves. He pinched the end of the tubing and took it from Finn, away from the others. He got to work replacing the needle.

Vera gently helped Gavin from the chair. He swayed and fell against Vera, sweat shimmering on his skin. Isaac lunged forward to help. He stopped and shrank back to Sam’s side, his gaze darting between them and Gavin.

Vera propped Gavin upright. “Okay, Finn,” Vera said weakly. “Me next.”

“We’re actually okay, for a few more minutes at least,” Finn said weakly. “Permissive hypotension. It means we can—”

Vera held up a hand. “Finn… I don’t care what it means. Just tell me what you need.” She adjusted her grip on Gavin as he stumbled, gagging slightly.

Finn’s eyes went wide. “Get him, get him inside,” they urged. “I can’t have him throw up in here. Get him inside. I’ll come get you when I need you.”

“Or you can use me,” Tori mumbled from her spot against the wall.

Finn and Vera both turned to look at Tori. Tori’s eyes were focused, teary. She stood away from Ellis, arms crossed over her chest, and shivering. Tori licked her lips and looked at Vera. “You can use my blood,” Tori said weakly.

“Babe, are you—”

Finn practically shoved Gavin towards the door into the house. He fell against Vera. Tears streamed down Gavin’s face. “P-please,” he whimpered.

Vera dragged Gavin towards the door. She threw a look back at Tori and pulled Gavin into the kitchen, out of sight.

Finn turned back to Sam. They trembled, their skin still pale and shining with sweat. But they looked… they didn’t look like they were nearly dead now. Finn swallowed painfully.

“I think I’m just going to do an IM injection,” Finn said softly. “More consistent uptake.”

Topher nodded. “Sounds fair.”

Finn selected another needle. They prepped Sam’s uninjured upper arm with more alcohol and pinched the muscle in their hand. “Quick poke, Sam,” Finn said softly. They pushed in the needle and pressed down the plunger.

“W-will that…?” Tori spoke like she was remembering how.

“It’ll take a few minutes,” Finn said softly. “But it’ll help. It’ll help a lot.”

“F-Finn,” Sam cried. Their body shuddered in misery. Finn’s eyes moved slowly over Sam, from the torn clothes they wore, to the bruises and torn skin around their wrists, to the places on their neck where the skin had rubbed raw, to the needle sticking unnaturally out of the skin to the side of their throat. Finn ached, knowing that beneath Sam’s shirt there were massive, angry bruises that stretched across their back and chest. Cracked ribs that must hurt every time Sam breathed. The whip marks on their back that must, even now, be soaking through the back of their shirt, smearing blood onto the table beneath them. For a moment Finn crumpled. They heaved a desperate sob and sunk to their knees beside the table.

“Sam,” Finn gasped. “I’m s-so sorry, I t-tried to fix it, I tried, but… I… just let them hurt you, I couldn’t make them stop, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Finn felt hands on their shoulders, clumsily pulling them up. They staggered to their feet and wrapped their arms around the person helping them. Isaac cried out as Finn’s arms tightened around his chest. Finn immediately released Isaac.

Ellis came to Finn’s side and pulled them into a hug. Finn shuddered and wailed into their shoulder, tears cascading down their cheeks and onto Ellis’s shirt. Every part of them threatened to shake apart at the sight of Sam, at the sound of their pain, broken and battered and destroyed on the table in front of them. Everything from the past few weeks hit them at once. They couldn’t breathe.

“Finn?” Topher said hesitantly. Finn clutched Ellis harder. “Finn.”

Ellis gently pushed Finn away from them. Finn looked up. “What?” they whimpered.

Topher gestured to Sam. “It’s kicking in.”

Sam seemed to slowly go limp on the table. Their face relaxed, their eyes moving lazily beneath the lids. Their breaths no longer came in ragged gasps, but in slow, easy inhales and exhales. They went to turn their head.

Finn’s hand shot out and held Sam’s head in place. Sam moaned softly. “Finn?” they groaned, looking for Finn.

Finn scrubbed their face with their sleeve. “Yeah, Sam?” they croaked.

“I f-feel… better now,” Sam sighed. “Can we go home?”

“Not yet,” Finn said, a smile pulling at their lips despite themselves. “Not yet. Still gotta fix you up.”

“Wooow,” Sam slurred. “This is… um… this is…”

“I need you to stay still for me, Sam,” Finn said, lurching into action like they were suddenly remembering what they were doing. “Okay? Stay still for me.” They glanced at Topher. “Can you, um, help me?”

“Of course,” Topher said, his voice shaking. “Whatever you need.”

“Ellis, can you, can you take blood pressures ab-bout every five minutes?” Finn said, new energy making their words clumsy. Ellis nodded. “Okay. And… keep their head turned this way. Can that be your job? Can you… can you do that?”

“Yeah, babe,” Ellis said faintly. They grabbed the stethoscope off the counter.

Finn turned to Tori. “You’re sure you can give blood?”

“Yeah,” Tori said, her eyes filling with tears as she stared at Sam. “I can do that.”

“Topher, will you start that line on Tori? Isaac—” Finn stopped short when they saw Isaac’s face. He looked at Sam like he was seeing hope, for the first time in weeks. I’ll just let him be there for Sam. That’s his job.

“Okay.” Finn pulled off their gloves and went to the sink to wash their hands again. They wiped their hands on a pile of clean gauze. “Topher—” They looked over at him. The needle was already in Tori’s arm, held in place by Tori’s fingers as Topher taped down the line. “Perfect. Tori, go ahead and gently pinch that line so we don’t bleed you out. Let a little through, but not much. And… Topher?” Topher looked up at Finn like he might faint. “Let’s, um…” Finn swallowed the lump in their throat. “Let’s get started.”

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @blue-flare10, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @insomniacscoprio, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @grimwhumper, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @im-only-here-for-the-whump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 5 - 33

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Content warning: self-hatred, death threats, discussion of death, gun

~

“Isaac!” Sam cried hoarsely as he opened the front door.

They came barreling into his arms, burying their head against his chest and squeezing him tight. Isaac’s eyes pricked with tears as he wrapped his arms around them and pressed a kiss to the crown of their head. He released them a moment later. He could barely breathe. His blood pulsed beneath his skin, his heart pounding in his chest, every nerve throbbing.

Tomorrow.

I’m going to get him back tomorrow.

Isaac looked up at the others, all crowded into the kitchen. Finn and Ellis had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, huddled in the corner, their faces pale. Vera stood beside Tori. Her mouth was set, her gaze steady on Isaac as he walked in, tucking Sam beneath his arm. Edrissa shifted her eyes away, standing on the opposite end of the kitchen as Zachariah. Zachariah’s face was haggard. He looked like he’d aged ten years in the month and a half since he’d reached the family. Deep circles were carved under his eyes, and his hands shook at his sides. Gray stood in the middle of the others, eyes wide and focused on nothing. Isaac thought he saw the glimmer of tears as they blinked and looked up at him.

“Um… h-haven’t made the call yet?” Isaac croaked.

“No,” Gray said weakly. “Wanted to… w-wait on you.”

Isaac’s throat tightened as he glanced around at the others. Every second they waited, Gavin suffered. Every inch of Isaac’s body ached with terror, with the unending pulse of hatred that burned through him with each heartbeat: my fault. My fault. My fault.

“L-let’s get it done, then,” he rasped. He felt like he would jump out of his skin if he had to wait another moment. His hand twitched for the gun he had tucked in his waistband. Vera’s eyes caught the motion. Her mouth twisted.

Silently, Gray pulled the cell phone out of their pocket and flipped it open. They hit redial and put the phone on speaker. They held the phone out in the middle of the group. It trembled in their hand.

It rang once. Twice.

There was a muffled clatter on the other end, and a harried voice sounding slightly out of breath answered. “Hello?”

The voice was unfamiliar, but it still sent a chill down Isaac’s spine. This was the firefighter that was going to walk into the town hall tomorrow and lead Isaac to Gavin. This person was going to help save Gavin tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

The possibility of failure didn’t even cross his mind. Gavin was at the town hall; Isaac knew it with every fiber of his being. He was going to save him. The only way he was not going to have Gavin in his arms tomorrow night was if he was no longer breathing.

“H-hello, Vanya,” Gray said with a shaking voice. “The whole gang is here. You’re on speaker.”

“Good, good,” Vanya said distractedly. A shuffling sound. “Sorry, I’m trying to get somewhere where I can talk.”

“Take your time,” Gray said breathlessly.

There was the whisper of movement, the distant sound of a door closing. Vanya’s voice seemed more muffled than before. “Alright, I can talk. Let’s, uh… let’s go over things.”

“What’s the plan?” Isaac said, unable to keep silent any longer. He bit his lip and clutched Sam tighter. They leaned against him and squeezed him back.

“Well first I… I’m, um, sorry for the short notice. This was the soonest I could schedule it and I felt like you’d want to—”

“Yes,” Isaac choked. “Y-yes.”

There was a deep breath over the line. “Okay. Okay. Good. So here’s my plan, the way I have it: I’m going to go to the town hall tomorrow to do a simple fire inspection. I’ve done half the town by now, and the town hall is right in line with the pattern I’ve been taking from east to west. There’s no reason for Schiester to suspect I’m doing anything out of the ordinary.”

Isaac nodded as Vanya spoke. His skin felt like it was buzzing.

Vanya continued. “I’m not going to do a complete fire inspection, because honestly, that would be a waste of time. That building is old enough that it might not even have a fire suppression system. But it’ll probably have an alarm system. There will be a room with an alarm panel that I can check. Sometimes there will even be a premise map that’ll give a detailed map of every floor… but I doubt it.”

“If DFS has been keeping captives in the basement, I doubt he’d leave a map up,” Vera said harshly.

Isaac huffed out a breath. Come on, come on…

“Yeah. Sorry. Anyway. There will be an alarm panel that will probably give me a good idea of how many floors there are. We have to consider the fact that there might be more than one underground floor.”

Isaac’s breath rushed out of him. He hadn’t considered—

“Isaac, this is where you come in,” Vanya said.

Isaac’s body went rigid. Ice crawled into his veins. “Y-yeah?”

“I’m assuming you’re going to be the one going in after him, based on what I talked about with Gr—”

“Yes,” Isaac snapped. His arm tightened around Sam. “I’m going in.”

“Good. Okay. Well, if there are any floors that show up on a premise map or on the alarm panel that the mayor won’t let me access, I figure there’s a pretty good chance that’s where to search. So… once I get a good idea of where Gavin is being kept—”

Isaac sucked in a breath. To hear someone else say Gavin’s name, someone Isaac didn’t know and couldn’t be sure he could trust, made his skin itch.

“—I’m going to get a message out to you. A call or text, probably, so I can send details. But I’ll figure it out. If there is a premise map, I can even give you turn by turn instructions.”

“I’ll find a way in,” Isaac said darkly. “I will.”

“Okay. Well… that’s where my part ends, I guess. I can really only get you the info on whether or not he’s there.”

“He’s there,” Isaac ground out through his teeth. “He has to be there.”

There was a long pause over the line. Then, “Yeah. It would make sense.”

Gray cleared their throat. “At that point, I’ll already be there with the car for my shift like normal. I’ll help Isaac and Gavin to the car.”

Isaac met Gray’s gaze and chewed his lip. Gray’s eyes shone with tears. Their face hardened into a look of agonized determination. Isaac blinked as he realized there were dried tear tracks on their cheeks. He swallowed hard and looked again at the phone in Gray’s hand.

“I’ll be waiting in the car,” Finn said. Their voice broke. “With my, um… med kit.”

Everyone was silent for a long moment. Then Vanya said, “I’m still working on gathering supplies for making a functioning fire department with… maybe a transporting ambulance soon. What are you planning on taking? I… You’re welcome to whatever I have.”

Finn’s throat bobbed as they swallowed. “Basic trauma stuff,” they said in a monotone. “Suture kits, tourniquets, trauma dressings, ten-gages, SAM splints, then…” They counted off on their fingers. “Fentanyl, ketamine, fluids, dextrose, epi, IV and IO kit, benzos, blankets and heat packs, vital signs stuff, my, um, airway kit w-with the surgical cric kit…” They shuddered, their face going paler by the second. “I’m thinking about packing some IV antibiotics just in case… Let me think, um…” They wet their lips. “Should I pack anything else?” they said in a quavering voice.

There was the uneasy sound of Vanya clearing their throat. “Um… not anything I can think of. That was, um… a lot more than I thought you’d be packing. I… if you need all that…” They fell silent. “Um… d-do you… have a hospital in mind if he, um… needs that?”

“No hospitals,” Finn said dully. “Whatever is wrong is something that… I n-need to fix.”

Isaac raised his head to look at them. His heart sank at the look of overwhelm overshadowed by flat determination on their face.

They feel as responsible for them as I do, just… different. He felt a swell of gratitude in his chest that threatened to choke him.

“Well… alright,” Vanya said softly. “If you need a restock before you head north again… just let me know. I’ll do my best to get supplies to you.”

“Thank you,” Finn said brokenly. Their eyes filled with tears. Ellis clutched their arm and they hugged Ellis tightly.

“We can’t bring too many people,” Vera said, her eyes unfocused. “Otherwise I would… I… would go.” She nodded slowly and looked up at Isaac. “You know I—”

“I know,” he said gruffly. He shivered like a chill had just gone through him. Sweat prickled under his shirt. “That means that… I… should probably be down there already when Gray arrives.” He rubbed his wrist against his hip, barely feeling the scrape of his belt against the scars that itched there. “I’ll head back into town after this, get a ride south. I’ll make sure no one sees or follows.”

“Where will you stay?” Vera said softly.

“In a fucking tent,” Isaac snapped. “On the sidewalk. In a dumpster. I don’t care. I’ll figure it out.” Before the words were fully out, Isaac ducked his head. He looked up at Vera beneath his lashes, already shrinking with shame.

A muscle ticked in Vera’s jaw. She stood perfectly still beside Tori, looking at Isaac evenly.

“I’m sorry,” Isaac whispered. “I… I’m…”

“It’s okay,” Vera said, and Isaac raised his head again. “I’m just… trying to work out the details.”

“I would offer my place, but… we really shouldn’t risk you being seen with me,” Vanya said, sounding apologetic.

“I could ask Mathias,” Isaac said. “He might say yes.”

“We’ll figure it out as soon as we hang up with you, Vanya,” Gray said. For the first time since Isaac had left to search the north, Gray sounded… not quite hopeful, but like there was a little bit of life in their voice again. Their fingers were white where they clutched the phone. “Thank you, Vanya. Truly. I… can’t express how grateful I am for your help. How grateful we all are.”

“Y-yeah,” Isaac croaked. “Thank you.”

The others all murmured their thank yous. Even Edrissa, speaking for the first time. She still leaned away from Isaac, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Well… I’ll, um, get going. If you need anything, call me back on this number. Also, the inspection is scheduled for ten AM, so…”

“I’ll be there,” Isaac said with iron in his voice. His hand itched to hold his gun.

“Okay. Well… good, um, good luck, everyone. I’ll see you tomorrow. Or not, maybe. Either way…”

“Good luck,” Gray rasped.

“Yeah,” Vanya mumbled. “Alright… take care.”

The line went dead.

Isaac let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He rocked forward, his arm squeezing even tighter around Sam’s shoulders, his eyes burning with tears. His heart felt like it would leap from his chest.

Tomorrow. Ten AM. Tomorrow.

His hands felt numb. He swiped at the tears running down his cheeks and into his beard. He felt something shift inside him, like something was about to snap. Blood pounded in his ears.

“Something we have yet to discuss in detail,” Gray said softly, “Is that… once we… have Gavin, Schiester will most likely come after us.”

“Let him fucking come,” Isaac growled. “I’ll rip that motherfucker’s head from his fucking—”

“If we kill him,” Gray said gently, “We risk facing the anger of the entire north.”

“If we kill Schiester, then we tell the entire fucking north what he’s been doing to kids and innocent people with shit fucking luck when they come through Crayton,” Isaac spat back. Edrissa drew away from Isaac, closer to Tori’s side. Tori’s hand went to her shoulder and stroked back and forth, soothing.

Gray was silent for a moment. Then, they murmured, “We could do that anyway.”

Isaac froze mid-breath, rage crawling under his skin, solidifying into something like vicious hope. “Y-yeah?” he croaked.

Gray shrugged jerkily as they slid the phone back into their pocket. “Even if he took those pictures down, they’re probably still in his office. If I see an opportunity – Gavin is the priority, he’s the only priority, but if I get the chance – I’ll grab them. Find a way to disseminate them. Those…” Gray’s voice twisted. “Those people… Their families deserve to know what happened to them.”

“But Gavin first,” Isaac said brokenly. “I… I need to get Gavin out first.”

Ellis wet their lips and spoke. “Guys… Hate to be the guy to point this out, but he might not be—”

“He is!” Isaac cried, whirling on them. His arm loosened from around Sam’s shoulders. “He is! He… he has to be there. H-he has to be… alive.” His chest tightened with a sob. “He’s there,” he whispered through numb lips. “He has to be.”

Sam wound their arm around his waist again. Their hand brushed the gun tucked in Isaac’s waistband. They froze and looked up at him, their eyes wide. There was a hint of fear in their gaze. Isaac pushed down the feeling of guilt that rose in him and looked away.

“All the same,” Gray said, holding a placating hand out towards Isaac, “We should pack tonight, and be prepared to move. Regardless of how the plan goes.”

“It’ll work,” Isaac said fiercely.

Gray’s head fell forward. “Regardless,” they continued softly, “We should be ready to move. Finn, Ellis, if you’ll—”

“We’ve been ready to go for weeks,” Ellis said, and shifted their feet. “We never really unpacked. Let’s be honest… we knew this was going to get ugly. But once we have the idiot back…” They shrugged and stared at their shoes. “We can settle in then. Wherever it is we end up.”

Isaac’s throat was tight. “And I should get going,” he murmured. “I need to get back home, find a discreet ride south. I, um… I need to figure that out.”

Sam’s arm tightened around his waist again, and he looked down at them. They stared up at him, tears welling in their eyes. He pulled them close and crushed them to his chest.

“Isaac,” Sam whimpered against his shirt.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Isaac murmured against their hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow, with Gavin. I’ll have him tomorrow.”

Sam shuddered and clutched at him. “I… I know.”

Tears burned in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and kissed their forehead, trying to ignore the tears than ran into their hair. “Love you,” he whispered. Dread ached in his stomach at how much the words sounded like goodbye.

He swayed with them, realizing for the first time how much he’d missed this. He missed his little sibling in his arms, clutched tight. He’d barely seen them at all for the past…

The past thirty-five days.

They sniffled and pulled away. Vera was at his side, and she pulled him into a hug as well. He wound his arms around her waist and nearly lifted her off the floor with how hard he squeezed her.

“We’ll get our boy back,” Vera mumbled, her face pressed against his shoulder. “We’ll get him back.”

Isaac said nothing, only nodded. After a moment, he loosened his hold. She stepped back, and Tori took her place.

They all embraced him, one by one – Gray, Finn, Ellis, Zachariah. Even Edrissa walked up to him and stiffly stuck her hand out for him to shake. He could feel her fingers trembling. He kept his gaze down and bowed his head apologetically, only too aware of the rage that boiled inside him, just beneath the surface. When she drew back, she wiped her hand on her skirt.

When he turned to leave, Gray held out the phone. “Take this,” they said. “In case we need to contact you.”

Isaac tucked it into his pocket. “Sure thing.” His voice was hoarse. “I just need to grab some things.”

He turned and walked down the hall to the bedrooms. When he stopped in front of the room he’d shared with Gavin, his stomach dropped. He placed his hand on the doorknob. It was cool under his fingers. He drew in a deep breath and turned it, pushing the door open.

His breath caught in his chest. It was exactly the same as he’d left it, the morning he’d discovered Gavin had been taken while he slept. The bedspread was rumpled, the drawer of Gavin’s nightstand still slightly open. The curtain was drawn, but the last rays of the afternoon sun lit the purple fabric, casting the room in a strange, dim light. As he caught his breath again, he was nearly brought to his knees; he could just barely catch a hint of Gavin’s scent still in the room.

Isaac forced down his tears, forced down the way his hands shook, the way he wanted to collapse to the floor and sob his heart out. He went to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He took only the knife that lay tucked along the side, the handle sticking out from under a pair of pants. He strapped the sheath to his belt and turned to go to the bed.

He didn’t even have to look as he reached for the knife he had tucked between the mattress and the bedframe all those weeks ago, so that when the time came to protect Gavin from the threat he’d known, somehow, was coming – he could. His fingers wrapped around it and it felt dull in his hands. Heavy. Useless.

Useless. Useless. Useless.

He shoved the thought away and straightened up.

As he walked through to the front of the house again, he looked at his family, still all gathered in the kitchen, huddling together as if for warmth. Tears moved silently down Gray’s face, now. Isaac bit down on his tongue, holding back his own.

“I’ll see you all… tomorrow,” he said, feeling the weight of the gun against his lower back.

“See you,” Vera murmured.

“I’ll call you with any updates,” Gray said, wiping their face on their shirt.

“L-love you, Isaac,” Sam said softly.

“Love you, too,” Isaac croaked. He turned to go. His hand curled around his knife as he pushed open the door and walked out into the golden afternoon sun.

Continued here

@womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog , @whatwhumpcomments, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @finder-of-rings, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @pebbledriscoll, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @endless-whump, @grizzlie70, @oops-its-whump, @kixngiggles

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 2 - 7

This is a series. Start here, continued from here. 

This is a sequel to Honor Bound. 

@carbonatedayquil I believe you mentioned wanting an intro scene for our new character???

AO3

Cw: blood mention, death mention, gender-related slur, pain medication

Fuck.

His chest felt like it was being torn apart with every breath he dragged in. I could just try not breathing… The pain burned hotter the longer he forced his ribs to stop moving. He gave up and gasped in a breath, whimpering as it came out. The sheets below him were damp with sweat.

His throat felt like it had been scraped raw. He did his best to swallow, the inside of his mouth sticky and dry. Water. He realized he had eyes and blinked them open. I just need water. Christ this hurts.

Shapes moved in his vision, dark and light and blue… a lot of blue. He squeezed his eyes shut and blinked again. Where the fuck am I?

His throat tickled and he coughed. His chest exploded into agony. A twisted scream punched out of him and he reached for the pain, trying to press on it, push it away, make it stop. Why why why does it hurt so much…

He felt a hand on his wrist, cool and strong, pulling it down away from his chest. “P-pl…” He croaked. Tears pricked in his eyes, making the shapes so much blurrier for a moment, before they ran down his cheeks and into the pillow. He could see someone sitting to his left, leaning over him, touching him. He choked on a sob.

“Can you get him something more for the pain? Please…” His mind swirled with confusion. The sound of that voice made him want to cry harder, sounding so familiar and scared and strained with tears.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re alright, sweetheart. It’s o- ok…” That voice came with a smell, a feeling, a sense memory in the back of his mind of being held, cradled, of that same soft hand wiping away his tears and smoothing his hair…

“Mom…” he groaned.

“Oh, sweetheart, oh my…my god…” A hand on his cheek. He turned his face into it, whimpering softly. “You’re alright, honey, you’re safe…my baby…”

Another memory shot through him like a bullet, a memory thick with the smell of blood and death and fear. “She…” His throat clicked as he swallowed. “Dad’s dead…she…” He heaved a dry sob. “She killed him…”

“I know, baby…” Her voice broke, and her shape leaned over him as she draped him gently in a hug. “That fucking…plaything… I know…” She leaned back trailed off into a wail.

He could see her now. Her hair was falling into her face, lank and dull, and her makeup was smudged around her red, swollen eyes. Her clothes were wrinkled and unkempt and looked like she’d been sleeping in them. And she was…

She was crying. Crying like he had never seen her cry before. She had one hand pressed to her mouth and was rocking forward with each ragged sob. Tears sprung to his eyes again.

“I’m sorry mom, I…” He sighed and moaned as whatever he had been given started to take effect. The pain in his chest was drifting farther away, just out of reach. He wilted back against the bed, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t you ever say that,” she sobbed. “This wasn’t your fault…it was her…”

Tears rolled down the sides of his face and into the pillow. “I couldn’t stop her…she shot me first and I just…laid there…”

“Gavin, stop,” she whispered. “She nearly killed you, honey. It’s not your fault…” She stared at him, her eyes flicking over the bandages on his chest, to the IVs in his arms, to the wires connecting him to the monitor behind him. Her face spasmed in pain as her eyes returned to his. “She took your father from us. And she nearly took you from me…twice.”

The pain in his chest had dulled to a distant ache. He felt…warm, and like his head wasn’t attached to his body all the way. He giggled slightly at the feeling. “The first time was Isaac,” he said with a smile, lifting his hand experimentally from the blanket. It felt like it was floating up of his own accord. His forehead wrinkled with bewilderment.

“She was the one responsible for the explosion too, honey.” Her face worked as she looked at him, fighting back tears as he stared, enraptured, at his own hand.

“What did they give me?” he slurred.

“Ketamine.” The word was clipped.

“Wow.” His head dropped back against the pillow. The agony of the loss of his father crushed his chest and stomach, but distantly, like he was only remembering the pain. Tears ran freely down his face and into his hair, unbidden. “She killed dad,” he whispered. It occurred to him that he should be alarmed that he felt so disconnected to that fact.

“She was your father’s plaything once. He told me before he left to meet you. I never would have…imagined…” She closed her eyes and began to cry again. “He should have killed her. I wish…” She sniffled. “I wish he’d killed her, I wish he’d ended her wretched little life in our basement…”

“I hurt her once.” Gavin’s tongue felt loose. “When I was little. Dad took me downstairs and I hurt her. I never knew that was her.”

“I know.” Her lips curled up into a pained smile. Her hand went through his hair. “I remember. You were so excited, you couldn’t even eat your lunch after.” Her eyes crinkled at him, sending two more tears down her cheeks. “You didn’t stop asking about her for weeks. Even after she…” She looked up at the ceiling and drew in a slow inhale. “Even after those troglodytes destroyed the house.”

“I was excited to hurt her again.” The corners of his mouth turned down.

“And you’re going to, sweetheart.” She smiled as he looked up at her in dizzy surprise. “I’m going to have the entire little troop hunted down and brought back to the Lucasville house. Then you can hurt them all.”

“But…mom…” He squinted, doing his best to wrangle his thoughts. They were flitting back and forth through his mind, slipping through his fingers every time he tried to pin one down. “I don’t wanna see them again.”

Her mouth tightened. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

“I mean…” He swallowed. “They kinda…kicked my ass…twice…and…I don’t know…I can hurt anyone I want. I kinda just want to…stay away from them…”

She tilted her head at him. “Are you scared of them, honey?”

“N-no.” His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth for a second. “I just…don’t wanna see them again.”

She squeezed his hand. “It’s ok, sweetheart. You don’t have to worry about any of it. I’m going to find them, and you won’t even have to look at them until they’re all in chains.”

“Isaac looks good in chains…” he mumbled.

“Most people do,” she said with a smile. “You can do anything you want with them. You can hurt them, kill them, make them your playthings…whatever you want. Just…” Her eyes filled with tears and she pressed her lips together. “That little bitch Vera’s life is mine. I don’t care what you do to her, but when it’s time for her to die, she’s mine.” Her lips trembled and she swallowed hard.

“But…I don’t…” He shook his head slowly, marveling at the way the room lagged behind.

She squeezed his hand. “We’ll talk about it when you haven’t had ketamine, baby,” she whispered, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his forehead. As she pulled back he aimed a kiss into the air, slightly confused about how she had moved back so quickly. Her fingers stroked through his hair as his eyes slid slowly shut.

“Ketamine is good,” he sighed.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @insomniacscoprio, @whumpy101, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word

[gingerbreadmonsters]

for those who may not be aware: the cocktail gavin is describing does actually have a name (sweetheart thought it was better not to tell him) - it's called a pink fuck and it's from evil dead, although this version noticeably does not contain the secret ingredient ketamine! if you'd like to know what it's like, or make it yourself, outsidexbox made a (mostly accurate) version of it here ⬇️

has it been a week yet? not quite, but that's never stopped me - it's wip not-wednesday again! you already know the drill, it's more of this gavin-and-fl prompt fill, sweetheart plays evil dead because i say so, this user does not condone the use of ketamine in alcoholic beverages, it's under the cut, blah blah blah 😘

-

"It's better without sleeves, don't you think? It makes the whole thing a lot more fun." True to form, he's benched the hat for now, although you're sure it'll be back before long. "Not the most groundbreaking thing you've ever seen, but I think it could be very versatile."

You agree, nodding as he compares handbags. "Definitely a useful one. Keep or return?"

"Oh, keep, absolutely," he throws over his shoulder, kicking off his shoes as he skips back to the bed, clearly ready for the next thing. "Love the mesh, plus the material is nice and soft - and so breathable! Now, what have we here…"

He holds up another pair of shorts, even shorter than before, light pink this time. "My goodness, love. There's hardly anything of these! What sort of demon do you think I am?"

You shrug innocently, absolutely no idea what he's implying, no ulterior motives, not at all. "My favourite kind."

He leans forward for another kiss, smile to smile, and of course you give it to him, breaking only to pull the top over his head. What is that flavour? "Is that… grenadine? What on earth did Vincent have you drinking?"

"Oh, it was lovely! Milo's mate recommended it when we went over a few weeks ago, do you remember? They didn't say what it was called, but it's vodka, strawberry liqueur, grenadine, lemonade, and a few other bits and pieces - you know, I'd never had it before but it goes down easy as anything. And it's pink! It's very pretty. There's still some in the kitchen if you want some…?"

"Wait, you made it at home?" God, how much has he had to drink today? "Thank goodness you can't get alcohol poisoning."

He pretends to lick his thumb and smooth his hair back - truly, a paragon of modesty. "One of my many natural advantages."

"Are those natural advantages going to get dressed any time soon?"

A plaintive sigh. "If they must, I suppose. Throw me the shirt?" It's a shame to see him cover up, but your thinking was absolutely right when you bought this - he looks amazing in this. "See, I'm thinking that this colour needs silver jewellery instead…"

[walkingchemicalfire]

Oh my god, this buildup is killing me, seriously my heart is beating a mile a minute but this is my favorite type of whump! I know next to nothing about medical stuff so honestly I’d love it even if it was all made up but NOPE Athena gives all the details and I am screaming!!! To hell with my own imagination, I didn’t even have to use it here, there’s no blanks to fill in, I can see everything in explicit detail, from where everyone is located, to the vast range of expressions on their faces. This is pure gold and I am on the edge of my seat to see how the actual surgery goes (and Sam’s POV cuz that’s going to be hands down my favorite thing, I’m calling it right now, I’m using that as fuel in my whump dreams lol) Finn talking through everything they’re doing is just the best, and that breakdown too!! Holy hell I cried with them, they had to be such a rock for the others cuz if they lost their shit back there then the others wouldn’t get the help they needed. Finn, you are such an important and amazing person and I will support you to the ends of the earth.

Every time someone says “For Sam” I have to take a second to come down from the high, Christ that needs to be a war cry (and it will be if they die cuz everyone in this family is going to burn the syndicates to the ground for even thinking about Sam the wrong way) “Ketamine’s good stuff.” HA!!! 😂😂 Oh god, Gavin’s having a flashback to being high, I am choking, I remember laughing at him then too, oh my god if Sam starts being all loopy with this drug too, my life will be made and I can die happy

Tori pulled herself back!! Holy shit that’s phenomenal, I know Ellis was probably helping with that but still Tori’s back! Also “Tori spoke like she was remembering how.” Motherfucker that got me 😭😭😭 I know it sounds so simple and has more to do with the disassociation, but speaking as someone who goes nonverbal at times, THAT is a line that is the truest shit I have ever read.

Isaac, get your ass over to Sam and run your hand through their curls, PLEASE I am begging you, comfort the baby!! Sam isn’t going to be able to stay still for this, they’re going to have to be held down, and then they’ll freak out which will cause everyone else to worry and freak out, ho boy this is gonna be so freakin’ good!!

Honor Bound 2&3 - 79

If you didn’t see my earlier post, I’m splitting HB2 into 2 books and extending book 3 a bit. HB4 starts in a few chapters. 

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: conditioning mention, needles, blood, IVs (including one in the neck), surgery mention (but no actual surgery), mention of possible amputation, sharing needles mention (in medical setting), emesis mention, ketamine, broken bones mention

~

Finn’s stomach lurched as they looked up at Lucy’s gasp. Her mouth fell open, then closed again, shaking until Finn thought she might collapse.

“Lucy…” Vera said softly, and took a step in front of Gavin. “Let me explain.”

“Is… is he… Gavin Stormbeck?” Lucy hissed.

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