#kes reads dr:if

[catboyebooks]

one other thing i forgot to mention. i'd have to double-check this and i'm lazy right now, but the fanslation i read back in the day kept the honorifics in and if i remember correctly, which i might not because it's been about a decade, mukuro doesn't use honorifics for junko whereas junko uses -nee and -chan and maybe even -neechan for mukuro. i can't remember how junko addresses mukuro in dr3 but i know mukuro in dr3 uses -chan honorifics for junko, so, if my memory is correct, it feels significant that she drops the honorifics in this story. but maybe i'm misremembering. i really wish they'd left the honorifics in, that's one of my primary gripes with the official translation

[catboyebooks]

when naegi reaches the gym maizono comes running over to check on him. naegi tries asking her about what she was going to say to him last night when she knocked on his door but she's like oh it's nothing i'll tell you later teehee (clearly uncomfortable). ishimaru starts lecturing naegi about being late and naegi, instead of getting indignant about this like any normal person would be (he's sick! he has a good excuse!), is like "sorry, i didn't feel well so i was in the nurse's office, can you note that in the daily logbook?" ishimaru is very pleased with this answer because of course he has already started keeping a daily logbook after finding one in the supply room — something that i don't believe ever came up in the first game, so presumably not something naegi would have known to say if he wasn't beginning to get some memories back. celes even calls him on it and is like "you sure knew exactly what to say to him," which causes naegi to reflect on why he just said that. why did he know the logbook comment was the correct thing to say? it's as though he already knows ishimaru. what's going on here? his headache is getting worse and worse.

monokuma appears at the podium and starts explaining how class trials work. reminder, in canon dr1 they didn't get this explanation until after the first murder, but we're now past that point and no one has died, so i guess monokuma got impatient. the class trial stuff sounds horrible and all but this isn't really having the intended effect on the group since nobody has died and it seems a lot more hypothetical than like something that might actually happen. hagakure still thinks this whole thing is some sort of weird prank the upperclassmen are playing on them or something.

mukuro interrupts. she starts giving the same little speech she gave right before dying in canon, and monokuma argues back using the same lines he did in canon. it's pretty clear (from a reader perspective) where this is headed. naegi continues to teeter on the verge of recovering his memories until suddenly it starts to come back to him — images of the worst most despair-inducing incident in the history of mankind, terrorists rampaging in monokuma masks. when monokuma charges at mukuro and she stomps on him, and monokuma begins to tell her that she's broken the rules, naegi realizes the gravity of the situation. he might not remember the context of the images in his head but it's evident to him that monokuma represents a very real, very serious threat. mukuro's about to get killed. right before monokuma "summons" spears to impale her, naegi charges at her screaming "ikusaba-san, look out!" mukuro, shocked, jumps out of the way. the spot she formerly occupied is suddenly hit with a large number of spears from all directions. naegi, who is confused about why he just called "junko" by a different name, isn't so lucky (heh) and gets impaled through the side. as he begins to lose consciousness, his memories fully return.

the narration says that thanks to the escape button, naegi has now escaped the killing game. but of course, this has consequences for mukuro, who has just had her cover blown and has to cope with the realization that her sister intended to kill her.

[catboyebooks]

had to pause and get my thoughts in order — i wasn’t really planning into getting more meta/analytical with this liveblog before i finish the story, since it’s not that long, but i wanna at least touch on a few things before we continue. this is sort of disorganized and not a proper analysis post so i’ll just do bullet points 

regarding the dynamic currently playing out between junko, mukuro, and naegi (kind of, he’s unconscious rn so can’t really contribute to the conversation) i think i need to just acknowledge, at this point, that it basically reads like the worst love triangle of all time. to be clear: mukuro and junko’s relationship is later (in dr3) confirmed to be incestuous, here it’s just subtext, but it’s not exactly difficult subtext to pick up on. i also want to be clear when i talk about this that i wouldn’t bring the subject up if i didn’t think it was important to understanding what’s going on with these characters — there is an unfortunate tendency in fandom to treat any [potential] incest as though it’s sexy &/or romantic &/or a funny joke, and i’m aware there are people who actually ship mukuro and junko. that’s not where i’m coming from here. i’m bringing it up because dr:if makes it clear that mukuro is being abused by her sister in a variety of ways — physically, emotionally, verbally, psychologically, etc. — and so when junko makes sexually charged comments to/about her sister, or when mukuro reacts like she’s getting broken up with when junko says goodbye to her, i think it’s reasonable to infer that there’s also sexual abuse going on. probably not all that different from how junko manipulated tsumiki (another thing we’ll talk about more when we get to dr3). again, this is just one aspect of how junko is abusing and manipulating her sister and it’s not the main thing to focus on here but i do think we have to take it into consideration, it does affect how this reads. like, in a twisted way, junko might see naegi as like a “romantic rival” here and i think that’s relevant both in terms of how she acts in this story re: mukuro’s crush and in terms of how she treats naegi in the canon timeline (she makes a lot of sex jokes at his expense, moreso than for his classmates, and it’s not just because he’s the protagonist — she isn’t like that with hinata. i think she likely started doing this back when they were actually in high school in order to bother mukuro and kept it up after killing her sister)

obviously we’ve never gotten to see this much of mukuro’s character before because she dies so early in dr1 and is putting on an act the whole time, but we also haven’t gotten to see junko like this before, either, and i think i wanna talk about that first. previously we have only really had 2 scenes with junko appearing in person (1-6 trial and 2-6 trial) and those are both scenes where she’s essentially monologuing to a group of people about her evil deeds — this is the first time we get to see her interact one-on-one with another character. we already know how capital-E Evil she is but there’s something that really hits different about seeing junko act nasty to her sister vs destroying the world or forcing people to kill each other. it’s a much more mundane, more intimate, more personal type of cruelty and i think it hits harder because of that. this is something i have more thoughts on actually but i’ve decided i want to save it for when i cover dr3 

i’ve said before i have no idea where to begin unpacking the stuff with junko and mukuro trying to cause each other despair as a display of affection but like. god. the way it plays out canonically — junko killing mukuro because such a senseless act of betrayal would cause her to experience overwhelming despair as she dies, and since junko loves despair so much she thinks this is good actually and intends this not only as a show of her love for her sister but as a way to inflict despair upon herself by killing the person she loves most — is already a fucking lot. the way it plays out in dr:if — where mukuro survives, junko in response tries to manipulate mukuro into killing the guy she has feelings for and then when that fails essentially tells her “bye, i don’t need you anymore” in order to hurt her by taking away mukuro’s purpose in life and depriving her of her most important relationship, and mukuro is indeed so deeply hurt by this that she thinks “now i finally understand despair” and, knowing that this is how junko shows affection, decides to reciprocate the gesture by destroying junko’s plans — is… like, what do i even say about that? this is beyond the paygrade of every therapist that has ever existed. combined. and like, the villain who thinks bad things are good actually is a very common trope and it’s usually played for comedy (i.e. villain who says “what a horrible day!” to mean the day was good because they’re evil and like when things are bad), and it’s certainly played for comedy a lot of the time with junko, but this kind of exploration of what that would actually mean for the villain’s interpersonal relationships is something you see far less often. genuinely really compelling stuff imo

[catboyebooks]

immediately after that, monokuma starts talking again and is like "wow isn't familial love nice? btw did you know that in roughly half of all murder cases the victim and culprit are related?" mukuro totally ignores this. i think i neglected to mention but earlier when monokuma lunged at mukuro and mukuro blocked the attack, that was with an IV stand, which monokuma's claws sliced right through, so now mukuro's just holding an iron bar from the IV stand*. she grips the bar tighter and advances towards naegi, mumbling apologies to junko. monokuma's intrigued — is mukuro gonna fuck naegi with that or is she gonna kill him with it? either way, he's excited! (& yes, that's the order in which he asks)

this, as it turns out, is a fakeout on mukuro's part. she takes advantage of junko getting a little too murder-horny here to kick monokuma into the air before he can react, and then once he's lined up with the security camera mukuro stabs him with the broken, sharp end of the iron bar. she times it perfectly and the iron bar passes through his power circuit, his bomb circuit, and the camera. this "kills" monokuma without setting off the bomb, and with the surveillance camera gone, junko can't see/hear/interact with mukuro in this room anymore. still, mukuro addresses her sister out loud. she apologizes, says she didn't really understand despair before, but now she finally does. she vows to make junko happy — that is, fill her with despair — by saving naegi and the others, ending the killing game, and ruining the rest of junko's despair apocalypse plans. for clarity, mukuro is being sincere and this isn't intended as revenge. she genuinely believes that since junko has tried to hurt her both physically and emotionally and meant it as an expression of love, this is how she ought to reciprocate that gesture. i'll talk about this more later because there's a hell of a lot to unpack but like, jesus christ. anyway that's the end of this section

*we cannot get hung up on how monokuma's claws can slice through iron. i've said it before and i'm not sure if i have to keep saying it, like, i feel like i shouldn't have to but just in case, this is a detail that doesn't matter. it's in the same territory as junko surviving multiple execution traps in a row unharmed or mondo getting melted into butter or syo being apparently immune to bombs — this is clearly not meant to be interpreted 100% literally nor is it worth focusing on. i'm mostly saying this because there are a lot of fight scenes / action sequences in this story and they are definitely way more concerned with being over-the-top and dramatic than with being realistic action sequences and i guess i'm getting preemptively defensive at the idea of anyone criticizing the later scenes in this story for reading like mukuro is playing irl bullet hell. that whips ass, actually

[catboyebooks]

junko, as herself this time, adopts a gentle tone and tells mukuro she's sorry for all the mean things she's said and for trying to kill mukuro and for trying to manipulate her into killing naegi even though she knows how mukuro feels about naegi. she then references the photo naegi took of their class, the one later given to him during chapter 6 of the canon game:

^ that one, anyway, in that photo mukuro's actually bothering to face the camera, whereas in all the other photos of their class (the ones their other classmates took) she's facing/looking away. i mean, obviously that's not quite how junko explains it, she says it was obvious that mukuro had a crush by how she suddenly cared about having her picture taken when naegi was the one taking pictures, but her saying that made me look up the CGs to confirm that naegi's photo is the only one where she's looking at the camera and it is. i wonder if that was intended when the CGs were originally drawn or if it's a detail that was pulled out and elaborated on for the sake of this story? i can't say i ever read into that before lol. anyway

junko's talking about the photos in a way that might be interpreted by an outside observer as sisterly teasing. her tone is affectionate and lighthearted. she says mukuro ought to have tried to take pictures with naegi, calls mukuro a disappointment again, and then says "Still, even though you're disappointing and annoying, I still love you." this, to mukuro, is a verbal bullet (lol geddit?). even though i'm not reading this in japanese i feel extremely confident that junko didn't say daisuki here, this is definitely an aishiteru moment. mukuro's been waiting her whole life to get an "i love you" from her sister, although she's always believed that junko loves her. in this moment, though, she realizes she didn't fully understand junko's feelings before. maybe junko meant it when she spoke kindly to mukuro and apologized, maybe the "i love you" was sincere too, but what is obvious to mukuro is that junko means to cut ties. (this is the main reason i'm so sure she used 愛してる rather than 大好き — there's an implication of seriousness/finality here.) before mukuro can properly recover from this, junko goes on to say "i'm sure someday you'll make your dreams come true." to put it bluntly, despair terrorists don't talk to each other like this. mukuro's not supposed to have dreams, or a future, and the only way she could have those things is if she stopped being part of shsl despair.

mukuro is totally crushed by this. even if despair is junko's thing and not hers, mukuro has still dedicated more than half her life to helping her sister with her despair schemes. this basically is her life's work too. and now junko's essentially saying "i don't need you anymore." mukuro's actually hoping that junko will take back the "i love you" and revert back to being verbally abusive, not for masochistic reasons but because the status quo would be better than her current emotional pain. but junko doesn't take back anything she said. instead she says "i love you" again, bids mukuro goodbye, and the monitor goes black.

[catboyebooks]

continuing where i left off. mukuro decides she's going to ignore monokuma (she's making a conscious effort to think of junko and monokuma as separate entities here, with the implication being that she has an easier time disregarding monokuma than her sister) and goes back to what she was doing, trying to check naegi's e-handbook for his blood type. monokuma interrupts and tells her that naegi's blood type is not in the e-handbook, but he's nice and so he'll tell her. naegi's blood type is B. this is a lie, naegi's blood type is A (i looked it up), but mukuro takes it on face value. she thanks junko aloud and immediately goes to retrieve a blood pack.

monokuma seems surprised that mukuro accepted what he said that easily, but he recovers quickly and tells mukuro once again how much of a disappointment she is. mukuro realizes junko is annoyed with her, which causes her to become intensely afraid.

the narration takes an aside here to explain a little more about mukuro's feelings. well, it's contrasting her and junko actually — we get told the usual stuff about junko being despair incarnate, completely obsessed with despair, loves it, can't get enough, etc. mukuro, on the other hand... she doesn't feel the way junko does about despair, but she's gone her whole life believing that it's her duty as junko's sister to help her with all her despair schemes. up till recently none of it has really bothered her. her soldier training has helped her compartmentalize and switch her emotions off. the despair apocalypse stuff, that didn't bother her. but forcing their high school classmates to kill each other... well, mukuro isn't so stoic that she was completely unaffected by the thought of the boy she likes getting trapped in a killing game, or by all her classmates being made to forget she existed.

also, two important points:

we get the clarification that when mukuro hung out with naegi earlier and they did all her free time events, she broke character with the "i promise that if i kill someone it won't be you" line. that wasn't her pretending to be junko, she genuinely just blurted that out. & honestly, knowing it's mukuro and knowing about her feelings for naegi, i think this is sort of her version of a love confession

remember the earlier part where monokuma mockingly asked mukuro if she fell for naegi because he was the first person to ever smile at her, and i said i bet that's true? confirmed real here, that is why. also, direct quote: "he was like a sapling of pure honesty that had taken root in mukuro's heart." that's right, that is what his name means. i laughed

anyway back to whatever monokuma was saying. he mocks mukuro some more and basically tells her "you're not a wolf, you're junko's bitch" (paraphrased to condense what he said because this went on for a bit but yknow) and then he says that obviously he was lying earlier and any normal person would have been suspicious. then he makes a doraemon reference.

mukuro, who is so nervous she's stuttering, tries to tell junko that she's still on her side, but at this monokuma becomes even more angry and leaps at mukuro to attack her. mukuro reflexively blocks the attack and then apologizes for blocking the attack. she pleads with her sister saying there's no way they can fight, mukuro is all junko has, the only one who understands her. in response, junko appears on the nearby monitor and she uses the speakers to address mukuro in her real voice.

[catboyebooks]

back in the gym, everyone is struggling to process the "fukawa is genocider syo" reveal. syo, meanwhile, is surprised that they don't seem to recognize her. she also asks the others why mukuro was dressed like that and adds that the outfit looks bad on her. now the others are trying to puzzle out why syo knows mukuro. it's chaos. this whole gymnasium clusterfuck scene is honestly really funny but there are so many jokes and it's hard to summarize so just take my word for it.

eventually sakura intervenes — she isn't really sure what's going on but figures it would be best to restrain syo. syo isn't about to let herself be restrained. the two of them get into a staredown, clearly sizing each other up before a fight. everybody watches nervously, except kirigiri, who has noticed something weird. monokuma has stopped moving, and his speakers are emitting white noise. maybe the hacker story is true and there's been some interruption on madarai's end, but kirigiri is also considering multiple other possibilities. forgetting her talent hasn't stopped her from thinking like a detective, after all.

syo and sakura begin to fight and the scene cuts back to mukuro.

[catboyebooks]

mukuro jams a couple of the trophies from the gym entrance hall through the door handles (won't stop sakura but should hopefully buy her a few extra seconds) and heads as fast as she can to the nurse's office. she's carrying naegi on her back, which i'm glad the story specified because i was definitely imagining a bridal carry.

here's where we start to get a little deeper into what mukuro is thinking re: junko trying to kill her, and oh boy. mukuro has figured out junko's motive: junko tried to kill her in order to cause herself despair, because junko loves her. she feels like she's let junko down and mentally apologizes to junko for not dying. however she also thinks that maybe if she saves naegi and betrays junko by disrupting the whole killing game / despair apocalypse plan, this will bring junko even greater despair and thus make up for it. i... truly don't know where to begin with this, there isn't enough therapy in the world to fix this one. we can talk about it later.

the narration tells us that mukuro is invincible on the battlefield, a perfect emotionless killing machine, but being trapped in a high school with her high school classmates has got her feeling like... well... a high schooler. it's hard to avoid having normal teenager emotions about this. she isn't sure how she feels about being shsl despair anymore. it's like she's walking a narrow path between naegi's hope and junko's despair.

[catboyebooks]

alright, onwards. mukuro approaches naegi getting ready to treat his wounds but sakura interrupts. she says they'll take naegi to the nurse's office for treatment, but as for mukuro, they're gonna have to tie her up. it's chapter 2 of a danganronpa story, rules are rules and traditions are traditions i suppose. mukuro's not about to let them tie her up — she's the only one here with experience treating wounds like this (battlefield injuries), and she's also concerned that junko/monokuma might try to hurt naegi further, or that the other students might try and torture information about his supposed terrorist affiliation out of him (in particular she's concerned about mondo or togami trying this).

sakura attempts to knock mukuro out with a punch, mukuro counterattacks with a roundhouse kick, and the two of them proceed to have a ten-minute-long fight in the middle of the gym as everyone else watches in awe. of course both of these two are trained fighters and highly capable in their own right but this is not really a fair fight, either — sakura is used to unarmed combat and is the strongest person alive. mukuro's only really been able to hold her own for this long because sakura was taken by surprise when she fought back. after suffering an injury to her arm during the fight, mukuro realizes there's no way she'll be able to win and they're wasting time. naegi isn't going to last much longer if they don't get him treatment.

mukuro changes tactics and grabs fukawa. everyone assumes she's taking a hostage, so togami scoffs at mukuro like "you think we care if you take someone we just met a few days ago as a hostage?" mukuro replies that they met two years ago, not a few days, and before anyone has the time to process that reveal she shoves her bloody arm in front of fukawa's face and yells at genocider syo to wake up. genocider syo wakes up. she's described as leaping into the air and twirling like a figure skater so that they can see the multiple pairs of scissors strapped to her body. it's basically a magical girl transformation into a serial killer. it's delightful.

syo hasn't gotten the chance to front in a while and she's curious about what's going on. she asks why they're all at the gym, are they gonna have an orgy? then she spots naegi bleeding out on the ground and asks if everybody's here to commit mass suicide, and, if so, why are they starting without her? also she's disappointed that she didn't get to stab naegi and disappointed that naegi isn't screaming. you and me both, buddy. hagakure proclaims that he has no idea what's going on anymore, which does seem to be the general sentiment in the room.

mukuro takes advantage of the confusion to quietly pick up naegi and sneak out the door. she goes mostly unnoticed, but of course monokuma spots her, and unsurprisingly kirigiri does too. neither of them say anything.

[catboyebooks]

not ready to continue the liveblog proper yet but before i forget, i wanna talk about the name "besshiki madarai" — the surname sounded familiar to me but the first name is weird and i had my suspicions there was a joke that doesn't translate here. and there is! so let me explain:

it's been so long that i totally forgot about these guys, but the madarai brothers are characters who appear in danganronpa zero. they're octuplets. their first names are written with numeric kanji, 1 through 8, so we have isshiki (一式), nisshiki (二式), misshiki (三式), and so on. (式/shiki means ceremony or rite but that's not really the important part here.) the name "besshiki" doesn't fit into this pattern, there is no number 1-8 that can be read with a "be" sound and also it would be obvious to mukuro that he can't be one of the madarai octuplets because she killed all eight of them in danganronpa zero. instead, besshiki's name is written 別式. that first character, 別/betsu, means "another" or "extra." junko made up another madarai brother and basically named him Another Madarai. just wanted to get us all on the same page there

[catboyebooks]

monokuma tries to take advantage of mukuro's weakness by sneaking up on her as she's still on her knees. his claws, which i take it can do actual damage (i don't remember this ever being demonstrated in the games, but sure, i believe it) are aimed at her neck, but before he gets there sakura intercepts and swats him away. she tells monokuma that if he's just going to attack students like that there's no reason to participate in his game. togami calls her a fool and then he and celes start bickering about whether or not sakura deflecting monokuma's attack counts as violence against the headmaster.

maizono runs towards naegi to see if he's okay (checking if he's still a viable candidate to use as a fall guy later?) but before she can reach him monokuma yells at her to be careful and to stay back from those two (naegi and mukuro). he's broken character. his tone is different from before. monokuma announces to the group that mukuro is the terrorist responsible for trapping them inside the school, and naegi is her accomplice. this of course is a shock to everybody. asahina asks what monokuma is talking about and we get an infodump, but of course basically none of the info is real:

monokuma claims to be somebody named "besshiki madarai" with the title of shsl hacker. he says he's one of their upperclassmen and he managed to hack into monokuma from outside the school.

in response to questions about what happened to the real junko, monokuma says that she's probably being held captive somewhere in the academy, if she hasn't already been killed.

monokuma tells the group that all of them were exposed to sleeping gas on their first day at hope's peak and taken hostage by terrorists. mukuro and naegi belong to whatever terrorist group is responsible (he's vague on the specifics), so they probably know how to get out.

he does tell them about mukuro being a part of fenrir, and that she's already killed 10+ people associated with hope's peak. that part's all true i reckon.

once he's impressed upon them that mukuro is dangerous (and used this to justify having tried to kill her just now with the spear trap), monokuma gets asked how naegi fits into all this and he says naegi was probably forced to cooperate with the terrorists, or perhaps mukuro seduced him.

at that last bit, maizono goes pale (isn't it so embarrassing when you're halfway through seducing a guy to use him in your schemes and you learn somebody else already beat you to it?), and mukuro starts protesting. she yells that naegi isn't a terrorist. the others are quick to notice that she's not denying being a terrorist herself. celes also points out how it's odd that mukuro would be so protective of somebody she supposedly just met, and togami points out how naegi knew mukuro's real name. togami also reveals to the group that he knows about fenrir, and is aware that all members are tattooed to show their affiliation. monokuma pipes up to say that mukuro's tattoo should be on the back of her right hand, and urges the group to take a close look in case the tattoo is covered up with foundation.

i have to note at this point that mukuro has been aware from the get-go that junko is just doing a bit, there is no "besshiki madarai," but this is where it really hits her how serious junko is about framing her for the entire killing game.

there's now a fair amount of suspicion being directed mukuro's way, but some students are more focused on questioning monokuma. leon asks "madarai" why he can't just rescue them already and monokuma says it's possible the whole school is rigged with explosives and poisonous gas, so it's not safe to try and enter. maizono asks about the motive videos they were shown and monokuma says he doesn't know anything about that but things in the outside world are bad, there are terrorist attacks happening on a global scale.

fukawa (who has been trying to avoid looking at naegi so that the blood doesn't cause her to pass out) asks sakura if she can just beat mukuro to death already for being a terrorist and sakura says they don't know for sure if mukuro is a terrorist yet. she tries to approach naegi to examine his wounds, but monokuma yells at sakura not to come any closer. mukuro realizes that if the other students aren't allowed near him, it's up to her to try and ensure naegi doesn't die. however, the others (at least some of the others) are still focused on determining whether or not she's a terrorist. to settle the debate and potentially save naegi's life, mukuro takes off her blonde wig and confesses to being a terrorist. naegi isn't a terrorist, though, she tells the others. the group isn't convinced — how did naegi know mukuro's name, then? mukuro isn't much of a debater and she knows that if she tries to explain the memory loss to them they'll think she's lying. instead she tries a different tactic and says that the most important thing right now is to treat naegi.

this is also a weird place to split the post but this scene is a total clusterfuck (complimentary) and goes on a while, so i am in fact going to split it here

[catboyebooks]

in the aftermath of having almost been murdered by her own sister, mukuro struggles to make sense of what just happened. her actions up till this point have all been according to junko's plan. talking to naegi earlier (to ascertain if he'd gotten any memories back) was part of the plan. the fight with monokuma just now was part of the plan. monokuma was supposed to respond by opening a trapdoor beneath mukuro's feet and "imprisoning her in a dungeon" away from the other students, thus allowing mukuro to continue assisting her sister from behind the scenes. obviously the spears were not part of the plan as previously discussed. if naegi hadn't shoved her out of the way, mukuro would have died. junko just tried to kill her.

i'm sure i'll talk about all this more in a moment but i do have to note how immediately obvious it is that mukuro is a victim of junko's abuse, rather than an equal partner in the whole shsl despair thing. her first thought upon realizing that her sister tried to impale her to death is that she must have done something to deserve it.

as mukuro's struggling to process all this, naegi manages to open his eyes and weakly tries to talk to her. he asks mukuro why she's dressed up like junko. he's smiling at her. he tells her he's glad she's safe. this triggers a big reaction in mukuro (already it's pretty obvious that she harbors genuine affection for naegi, even if she can't articulate that to herself) and she falls to her knees and screams.

[catboyebooks]

btw the explanation we are given for the escape button is that when naegi pressed it and got electrocuted, it also pricked his finger (the story mentioned this when it happened, i just didn't mention it in my summary) and delivered a chemical payload that worked in combination with the electric shock to undo his amnesia. ofc the mechanics of the escape button are not important to the story, it's just the plot device necessary to make this story happen, but i thought i'd mention in case anyone is reading this and going like HEY!! how did that button work anyway

[catboyebooks]

naegi comes to in the nurse's office. this is not an area we get to explore during dr1 proper; it's on the first floor but inaccessible. "junko," who i'll be calling mukuro because that's who she actually is, is here. mukuro explains that monokuma opened up this room following naegi's fainting episode and the other students have been taking shifts taking care of naegi after he passed out. it's now morning. maizono spent the night looking after naegi, meaning she did not get her chance to try and frame him for murder and everybody is still alive. also of note: taking turns looking after naegi was ishimaru's idea and mukuro claims to only be here because togami ditched.

mukuro asks naegi if he's feeling okay and naegi, remembering what he was thinking about last night, hits her with an "um, this is kinda weird but... have we met before?" mukuro looks shocked for a second but then laughs it off, acting as though naegi just made a bad attempt at hitting on her. he tries to backpedal and explain that he didn't mean it like that but mukuro calls him an omega male (he doesn't dispute this. omega behavior) and then they basically speedrun all her free time events. these are summarized pretty briefly in dr:if but it's definitely the same as her FTEs in the canon game, ending with her line about "in return, if i do kill somebody i promise it won't be you." however, instead of reacting how he does in the canon game (naegi says "don't say scary stuff like that!") naegi's like "thanks, but i wouldn't want you to become the blackened anyway." this takes mukuro off-guard, as she didn't expect him to react like she was being serious. naegi's also confused as to why he said that. for some reason it doesn't seem unnatural for him to hear her talking about killing. they both dismiss this aloud as just naegi not thinking clearly after the whole fainting incident, but after mukuro leaves naegi again starts questioning why he's thinking this way. it's as if he was talking not to junko, but to somebody else...

monokuma announces that everybody has to go to the gym now that naegi is awake, so naegi dutifully gets up and starts heading there. his head still hurts real bad, btw.

[catboyebooks]

cut to the next day. or, well, the next night, it's late. naegi's in bed feeling all shook up because earlier that day they were given the motive videos and he now has reason to believe his family is in danger. he also knows that everyone else saw similar videos and so everyone must be feeling the pressure to escape now. and of course he's most worried about maizono, given that she was particularly distressed by her video and also he's like sooo down bad for her right now, thinking about how if nothing else he at least has to save her. he starts getting a headache while thinking about this, which he thinks might be from mondo punching him or might be from getting electrocuted (i love that there are multiple potential causes). the headache gets worse when naegi catches himself having the thought that they all need to work together to escape — ideally, yes, naegi thinks this would be the best-case scenario but even he is aware that he doesn't know enough about the others yet to trust them. yet somehow he feels like everybody here is somebody he can trust, and the feelings he has about wanting to protect maizono extend to the whole group. he has no idea why he feels this way and thinking about it makes the pain in his head worse. just then maizono rings the doorbell. she tries to launch into her "naegi-kun can we switch rooms 🥺" routine but doesn't manage to get very far before naegi, who got up too fast to answer the door and is really not feeling well, faints rather dramatically right in front of her.

[catboyebooks]

one thing i actually didn't know is that dr:if has music and background art, so in practice the experience of reading it is sort of like a kinetic novel except there are no character sprites and no voice acting. when i read a fanslated version back in the day it was of course just the text. this time i'm getting the full experience.

anyway. the opening of the story is a monokuma theater segment where monokuma basically leans on the fourth wall to tell us that this is just an AU story and things didn't really happen like this in canon, but that you'll need to have played dr1 through to the end to understand this story and you'll also want to hang out with "junko" till you've seen all her FTEs. good thing i already talked about those, huh?