#kept rock sasha-adjacent

[technovillain]

THE OLEANDER FAMILY.

[the-traveling-poet]

Hi , I just hope you accept my request " Eren x reader" s4 the table scene , he said how much he hated Mikasa and turned to y/n and hurt her by words , what if he asked to talk her alone to hurt her more and she said she regret her feelings for him , and he got softened

Heartbreak

Amidst the chaos surrounding both Paradis and Marley, Y/N finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place. While staying close to her childhood friends Mikasa and Armin, Y/N is forced to come face to face with the man she’d grown to love for the first time in months. His departure had hit her the hardest of them all, but still she kept her chin held high. Will she be able to rid herself of her feelings for Yaeger before it’s too late for her? Or will she succumb to her grief…

Pairing: Eren x reader

Warnings: Angst. Pure angst. Literally just pain. Language. Spoilers for S4 if you haven’t read/watched it yet.

Angst, depression, betrayal, S4

Taglist: @21aurora

A/N: Ofc anon! This one seriously hurt to write T-T I’m sorry this took me forever to publish! As always if this isn’t to your expectations I’ll re-write it how you want!

Enjoy~🤎

What had just been a moment of relative relaxation, quickly turned to one of panic.

One minute, you’d watched as Jean and Connie bickered over a bottle of wine in one of the MP’s cabinets, while Commander Hange spoke quietly with the Braus family before aiding Jean in cleaning off a ‘poisoned’ a young Marlian boy, Falco.

But the moment Niccolo lunged for the young Marlian girl, Gabi, shit hit the ceiling. The Braus’s adopted daughter lunged for the girl, screaming and crying out obscenities. You watched on helplessly as Niccolo took a swipe at Gabi, having only just learned of the girl’s murder back in Marley.

Sasha…poor Sasha. The memory of her death still haunted you every night you slept. To see her murderer, a young girl, standing before you uncharged and free of imprisonment…It hurt. But she was a child, you knew. A poor, brainwashed child.

Before you could even attempt to take action and aid the situation, the door behind you creaked open. Looking over your shoulder, you spotted Floch and his ‘followers’; a mix of MPs and what was left of the Scouting Regime soldiers.

By the time Hange and Jean returned to the dining room, you and Onyankopon were already being held at gunpoint.

“What’s wrong?” Hange asked in haste when she heard a muffled yelp from Onyankopon, but froze at the scene before them.

“Commander Hange,” Floch greeted coolly, ignoring your persistent glare. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Floch lowered the gun aimed at your head, and turned to Hange. “I imagine you know where Zeke’s at…We’ll have you take us there.”

You were only a second away from opening your mouth to retort his absurd statement, when Armin’s startled yelp from the adjacent room made your blood run cold.

“Ere-“

Eren…

Without giving it a second though, you raced to the side of the room towards the doors, paying no mind to the soldiers who held guns to your back. You had to go. You had to see him…

“Let her,” Floch’s airy tone caught you off guard, making you pause with your hand on the door handle.

“He’s expecting her presence too, you know.”

The guards lowered their guns from your back, and you took this moment to race through the double doors.

Behind you, you faintly registered a sinister chuckle coming from Floch, but you ignored him in your haste.

You slammed the door behind you quickly, and took a look around the nearly vacant room. And there he stood; just before you at the head of a round table in the very center of the room.

Armin and Mikasa sat with their hands placed palm down on the table cloth, eyes wide and shoulders stiff. Gabi was with them, tense and shaking in utter fear. You visually checked them over for any sign of injury, and when you found none and relaxed. But only slightly. You took your eyes off of your comrades, only for your eyes to suddenly met his.

Eren gave you no sign of emotion as he looked into your eyes from across the room. If anything, he looked bothered. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his clothes worn. But the look of indifference on his face only made his overall appearance look more menacing.

“Y/N, you’re here. Please, take a seat.” He spoke in a low tone while pulling out the chair he stood behind with gestured for you to take it. Taking a shaky breath, you decided to follow his ‘request’ and strode forward to accepted the seat.

“Eren-“ you began, but he cut you off.

“Hands on the table, and don’t remove them.” He shoved your chair into place, and swept his gaze across the four of you.

Despite his glare, you thought he looked…Weary. Sad, perhaps.

After a long pause, he broke the silence suffocating the room.

“As I said; I wanted to talk, with you guys.”

You remained silent and still in your seat, your fists clenching at the table cloth when you noticed the gash formed across his palm.

A warning to you all.

“Conflict isn’t necessary to solve Eldia’s problems.”

Behind you, a grandfather clock ticked against the wall for every silent second that passed his statement, setting you on edge.

“Eren, we’re the ones who wanted to talk.” Armin spoke up, his gaze sharp and focused. “What made you attack Marley all on your own? Did Zeke and Yelena really talk you into joining them?”

The question had been nagging at you for some time as well, but for now you remained silent.

“I am free,” Eren stated solemnly. “The things I do and choices I make are all decided by my own free will.”

“No…No, you are being manipulated!” Mikasa suddenly grit out, leaning over the table and standing up. “You wouldn’t have involved the lives of children and innocents, even if they were enemies!”

Eren kept silent, merely listening to her outburst. But before he could respond to Mikasa’s allegations, you found it within yourself to finally speak up as well.

“Eren, I know you care about us. More than anyone!”

You stood up from the table, removing your hands from the table to place them onto Eren’s broad shoulders.

“Don’t you?! The reason you saved Mikasa…Armin…Me…You love u-“

“I said to keep your hands on the table, now do it,” Eren cut you off with a harsh glare, switching gazes between you and Mikasa. Mikasa slumped back down into her chair in defeat, clutching at her scarf. But you remained standing, tightening your grip on his shoulders.

“Eren please, why won’t you stop this?!” You cried out.

“I said, sit.” Eren spat back through clenched teeth, forcibly removing your hands from his shoulders.

A pang of hurt shot through your heart, making your chest feel heavy. Furrowing your brow, you reluctantly sat and placed your hands back onto the table.

Once you were all sat and silent, Eren continued.

“I spoke with Zeke in Liberio; brother to brother. Zeke knows more about titans than even Marley as a whole.”

He paused, turning his attention to Armin.

“Armin, aren’t you still visiting Annie? Do you think that’s if your own free will?”

Armin froze, his eyes blown wide.

“If memories are what shape people, a part of you is Bertholdt now. Within you is an enemy with feelings for another enemy. Armin, Bertholdt has gotten into your head.”

Armin sat in shocked silence, staring blankly back at Eren. You took this moment to make a decision.

For better or for worse, you had to try…

“Then what does that make me, Eren?”

Eren turned to look at you, raising a brow. He seemed to not have expected you to speak up again so soon, if at all. But curiosity got the better of him, and he gave you room to speak. So you continued.

“You dare accuse Armin for being lost to memories of another, for falling for another that. is the enemy. So what does that make me, huh? Am I now an enemy, too?” You spoke quickly, feeling a need to get it all out.

After all these years…

“What are you talking about, Y/N?” He drawled out. “You have no part in this conversation. You are Eldian and not a shifter. You know what I’m saying doesn’t apply to you.”

“Oh, but doesn’t it? Don’t my feelings for you count for anything? You cant call Armin an enemy without accusing me as well!” You cried out, taking a stand once more.

Eren’s eyes widened; it seemed he wasn’t expecting this. “Y/N…I-“

Mikasa cut him off this time with a hell, not minding his sudden glare on her for interrupting.

“Eren, what could you possibly be sayin-“

“The Ackermans, too.” Eren scoffed, now standing as well beside you. “The Ackermans were intentionally designed to protect Eldia’s king. Back then, when faced with life and death you heeded my order; Fight.”

“No…Protecting you was not a mistake…” Mikasa whispered, fear in her shaky eyes.

“It was because of you I became strong, Eren!”

“No, Mikasa. Your family was made to forget who they are and love only to protect. You are slaves.” Eren scowled, his eyes narrowed dangerously. Their conflict gave you a headache, but you knew better than to speak up just yet.

“Eren, enough!” Armin suddenly called out, taking a stand with the rest of you.

“Do you know what I hate more than anyone?Any of you?” Eren continued on, ignoring his friend. “Those who are not free. They’re just like livestock.”

“Eren!” you yelled, filled with a sudden rage. Rage fueled by grief.

This wasn’t the boy you’d grown up with. Fought beside. Come to love so deeply…

Eren snapped his gaze to you, his glare deepening. “Just seeing you has always pissed me off so much, Y/N. And now I finally understand why; I can’t stand the sight of a slave who obeys orders without question.”

His cold statement made you gasp and stumble back a step. Hurt flooded through you, but you fought off your tears for now.

“You don’t mean that…”

“Ever since we were little…I’ve hated you.”

Everything around you became white noise as you stared on in horrified silence, your mouth agape with all the words you wished to say. And yet nothing came of it.

Faintly you registered Armin leaping across the table towards Eren, fists raised and teeth clenched. Words were exchanged, but you heard none of them. Like Gabi, you remained frozen in your spot.

Mikasa lunged forward to stop Armin, only to freeze in fear as she recognized what Ered had said about the Ackermans might just be true. Armin was pinned to the table by Eren’s strong grip, shouting over his shoulder to the man above him.

The moment Eren threw Armin across the room, you finally snapped and regained your ability to speak.

“Eren!” you screamed.

Immediately Eren held still, his back to you but his head turned to silently acknowledge your voice.

“Stop this! What have you done?” You shouted. Your voice shook as well as your hands with every word you uttered, but you knew you had to keep going. Or else you’d never get another chance.

Deep down, you knew this is how it had to be.

“You belittle Mikasa…manhandle Armin…hate me…And for what? What is it you truly want from us?”

Eren turned to face you, his emotions hidden behind his cold facade. But he let you speak. Let you say the things you both knew, deep down, you had both longed to say for years.

“You can hate me all you want. You can hate all of us, all you want. But don’t you dare for a moment accuse us of anything but loyalty. We love you, Eren. I love you. You know that, I know you do!” You cried out in earnest, tears finally escaping your eyes no matter how hard you fought them.

“I’ve always loved you. I’ve tried, time and time again, to show you this. And for everything I’ve ever done…How could you?”

With that final whisper, you turned your back to him and crossed your arms around your sides. Looking for any form of comfort.

“Y/N…You know I-“ Eren started to speak, his tone much softer now. Though you couldn’t see it, he was fighting tears himself. But he refused to let anyone notice how he wiped them away.

“No. Just, fucking don’t.” You stated softly. “Figure out this mess with the war. Do what you must. But please…Please understand us…”

Just then, a couple MP’s burst through the door, demanding to know what the noise was about.

“I’m fine,” Eren reassured them, his voice hollow. “Go back to Floch. I’ll join up soon.”

Once they hesitantly left, you finally turned in your heel and gave Eren one last pleading look.

“Figure this out, Eren. Figure this out for us.”

With that you turned to leave the room. To leave your companions and to leave your love. But just before you twisted the door handle to rejoin Commander Hange and the others, you looked over your shoulder and made direct eye contact with Eren.

“And just know…Despite everything that happened in the past… Despite what happened here in this room…Just know I still love you. I’m scared that I always will.”

With that you left, not seeing the way Eren’s emotions finally pushed through his facade and showed on his face. The way he reached out his hand to stop you leaving, despite the physical distance between the two of you.

You never would know, just as he would never forget the way what was left of his heart shattered in his chest that day.

[tabloidtoc]

Star, October 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Reba McEntire dating CSI: Miami star Rex Linn and finding love again at 65 

Page 1: Duchess Kate Middleton stopped by England’s University of Derby to discuss students’ mental health and how the pandemic has affected their education but during her visit those watching couldn’t help but notice Kate looked more youthful than ever because of a new shorter highlighted hairstyle 

Page 2: Contents -- Demi Lovato and pal Matthew Scott Montgomery were ready to be spooked at Nights of the Jack 

Page 3: Vanessa Paradis and her daughter Lily-Rose Depp at the Chanel show during Paris Fashion Week, Tom Cruise looked a little leery filming a difficult scene on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 in Rome, Cara Santana repped boyfriend Shannon Leto’s band 30 Seconds to Mars in a sweatshirt from the group’s apparel line 

Page 5: Chrissy Metz is so smitten with her new boyfriend Bradley Collins that she’s already talking marriage and babies with her Nashville-based beau and that has alarms ringing for some of her friends about why they kept their romance totally hidden until now and since Chrissy is all-or-nothing this is way too intense for some, fans of Law & Order: SVU rejoiced when it was announced that a spinoff was in the works that would star Christopher Meloni as Elliot Stabler and the new series called Organized Crime would feature Stabler leading a task force fighting NYC’s crime syndicates but the show has been rocked by behind-the-scenes drama as first showrunner Craig Gore was axed in June and now his replacement Matt Olmstead is also out leaving the future of the show in jeopardy, after a contentious season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Denise Richards and Teddi Mellencamp are out and mainstays Lisa Rinna and Kyle Richards have proven they’re the alphas of the long-running Bravo show and now as producers are scrambling to fill out the cast one obvious contender is out of the running as Kathy Hilton has respectfully declined because her daughters Nicky Hilton Rothschild and Paris Hilton didn’t want her to do it because they felt it was a bad look for them and the family 

Page 6: Sofia Richie and Scott Disick have split but she seems to still be taking her beauty cues from her time with the Kardashian-adjacent dad of three because she has noticeably fuller lips where she had lip injections to both lips, Mariah Carey had nothing but nice things to say about Derek Jeter in her new memoir calling their relationship sensual and credits him with helping her see the value of her biracial background but Derek isn’t happy about it and he’s fed up and feels Mariah is taking advantage of him to publicize her book and it doesn’t help that Derek’s friends have been teasing him about the sexy details because he hates being made fun of; his ego can’t handle his friends ribbing him, Star Spots the Stars -- Christina Aguilera, Kaitlyn Bristowe, Travis Scott, Teddi Mellencamp, Rev Run and his wife Justine Simmons, Lindsay Arnold 

Page 8: Star Shots -- Anne Heche headed for rehearsal on Dancing with the Stars, Christina Milian and her daughter Violet, Gavin Rossdale at the beach in Malibu with his dog and a mystery woman 

Page 9: Liev Schreiber plays basketball with his son Sasha in NYC 

Page 10: Bachelor alum Catherine Lowe and her son Samuel, Reese Witherspoon jumping rope, Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles’ Tracy Tutor playing Monopoly at home 

Page 12: Johnny Weir leaving Dancing with the Stars rehearsals, Brie Larson and boyfriend Elijah Allan-Blitz on a grocery run, Alessandra Ambrosio on her way to dinner in West Hollywood 

Page 13: Selena Gomez shows her kidney transplant scar, Julia Garner filming scenes for Inventing Anna in New York City 

Page 14: Chrishell Stause heading into rehearsals for Dancing with the Stars, Johnny Depp waved to fans outside the ZFF Masters during the 16th Zurich Film Festival where he promoted Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGown, Patrick Schwarzenegger stepped out with a script in West Hollywood 

Page 15: Silver fox Jon Bon Jovi struck a pose while promoting his new album 2020 in NYC, Shia LaBeouf went for a jog in Pasadena on the same day he was charged with misdemeanor battery and petty theft following an incident that happened in June, Maisie Williams at the Chloe fashion show in Paris 

Page 16: Gwen Stefani stepped out of the studio in Woodland Hills, Chiwetel Ejiofor referred to his phone while reciting poetry on the set of the upcoming pandemic-themed dramedy Lockdown in London, Sting and his wife Trudie Styler celebrated his 69th birthday at a meal with friends in Rome 

Page 17: Sofia Vergara out in L.A., Denise Richards and husband Aaron Phypers looked carefree leaving a restaurant in L.A., Danny Trejo hung out with an adorable pooch during an appearance on Home & Family 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Machine Gun Kelly shared a glimpse of his beauty routine en route to his new cafe in Cleveland -- not normal, Eva Longoria wore a Vote t-shirt and a Biden mask during a political rally in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood -- normal

Page 19: Snoop Dogg inhaled and exhaled during his DJ Snoopadelic set at the Concerts in Your Car event at the Ventura County Fairgrounds -- normal, while grabbing a meal in Los Angeles with a bevy of beauties Billie Dee Williams enjoyed a quick grooming session too -- not normal

Page 20: Fashion -- stars get glitzy in gold -- Olivia Wilde, Leona Lewis 

Page 21: Karen Gillan, Kate Beckinsale 

Page 24: Emilio Vitolo Jr. appears to be every inch the doting boyfriend to Katie Holmes but he’s playing the field behind her back -- Emilio’s a ladies’ guy and he’s been texting a bunch of girls saying things between him and Katie aren’t nearly as serious as they seem while Katie thinks she’s in love and it’s no exaggeration to say she’s obsessed with this guy and she’s adamant they’ll elope and in her mind they’re two kindred souls destined to be together 

Page 25: Beyonce and Jay-Z are hoping to add on to their already impressive real estate portfolio as they are quietly checking out homes in Montecito in California for their family of five -- although they already own a $26 million home in New York’s tony Hamptons as well as an $88 million Bel-Air mansion the couple are hoping to put down roots in the American Riviera so their children can attend the area’s prestigious schools and Beyonce especially likes that it’s not far from L.A. and it’s clean and super private, after two years of dating Jake Gyllenhaal and Jeanne Cadieu are at odds about their future and Jake’s frustrated because the relationship is going nowhere and he’s eager to start a family but the 24-year-old model isn’t ready to put her career on hold and take that next step leaving Jake in limbo -- his most successful relationships were with women his own age with the same maturity and ambition like Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst -- while Jake remains conflicted about whether to stick it out with Jeanne or start over with someone new his friends say it’s time to move on and find someone who’s baby mama material, Jon Hamm has been considering settling down since he began dating Anna Osceolo because something about Anna is making him rethink everything from the guy who never pictured himself walking down the aisle or having children but now he and Anna are talking about marriage and a family 

Page 26: Cover Story -- Reba McEntire finding love at last -- after a string of broken hearts the country superstar has finally snagged Mr. Right actor Rex Linn  

Page 30: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s courtroom showdown -- four years after their split Brad and Angie are still duking it out over custody and now they’re prepared to bring star power to the battle -- Brad will be using every scrap of ammunition he can to fight for his kids including testimony from fellow stars and Angelina is prepared to do the same 

Page 32: Five-time rehab vet Scott Disick is caught partying in front of his kids 

Page 34: Stars’ Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish 

Page 35: Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling 

Page 38: Beauty -- add a sophisticated scent blend to your fragrance wardrobe for fall -- Kim Kardashian 

Page 40: Entertainment 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky partnered with the Global Wildlife Conservation and Wild Ark to boost the ecosystem of their beloved Australia -- the pair helped Aussie Ark release 11 Tasmanian devils into a wildlife sanctuary at Barrington Tops National Park -- the hush-hush event marked the first time the endangered marsupials whose presence can help repel pests and bush fired were returned to the mainland in 3000 years

[mrsslrss]

2019.

Welcome to my annual accounting of things I loved, 2019 edition. 

I’m realizing the pattern here is to start this with a reflection of how I rang in the year but 2019 crept in pretty calmly: no big bugs to kill, no spontaneous sobs to a Sharon Van Etten song. On the first day of this year, I woke up and cleaned the house and, I don’t know, probably went to Big Bear and got a coffee and took a nap. Since it’s nearly the end of the decade, I could start there, but I couldn’t tell you where I was for New Year’s Eve, 2009; if I had to guess, I’d put myself at a friend’s house on the North Shore, drinking PBR with the guys and listening to pop-punk. That winter I was convinced I wouldn’t return to Poughkeepsie, I was so miserable, but when I did things started to fall into place.

I think my goal for this year was roughly something like, Just put your head down and do the work. When you are tempted to get fed up and wither from frustration or have a big ego about not getting what you want, just put your head down and do the work. I don’t know if I did that, exactly, if I really stuck to the goal, but every so often in a particularly challenging moment the goal would come into focus at the front of my mind and I’d sigh and acquiesce and nod at the work ahead of me. I got a lot done, I think; in this way I got a lot done. It was nice to be reminded about how the process can be the goal -- something I thought about a lot this year. Sometimes the goal looks like a result, but it’s really the habit I’m after.

I’d like to keep that up next year. 2019 was a year of cultivating; 2020, maybe, will be a year of action. Or maybe not! Maybe nothing flowers until 2021 or beyond. Or maybe I start tearing things up by the roots in 2020, who knows! 

So anyway. Here’s to 2019, and here’s a list (more or less alphabetized -- why not!) of ten things that helped me make it through.

annie’s homegrown birthday cake bunny grahams

My official snack of the year. Over the summer I was visiting MZ in Brooklyn and we got snacks at their neighborhood grocery store and I bought these, which are meant to celebrate the 30th anniversary of this snack company, taste like funfetti cake, and are definitely meant for/marketed to children. But anyway I ate the whole box and then sought them out at every Whole Foods in my vicinity (because I went online and WH is apparently basically the only place you can find them?) and started preaching the good word to anyone who was looking for a snack. By, like, September I had eaten so many of these that I could no longer stomach them, so I’ve been on a brief hiatus, but still: snack of the year.

keeping lists

I started this year with a big digital spreadsheet called “2019 things” where I intended to keep lists: all the new albums and songs that struck me, all the old albums and songs I got obsessed with, the places I wanted to travel in the year. I kept adding tabs: the books I finished, my financial priorities, stuff I wanted to make sure to read or watch. I was pretty diligent about updating them -- I wrote down every book I read, but definitely forgot to add a couple albums; I never made it to Philly this year. I started keeping gratitude lists (analog) towards the end of year, too, because in college a friend told me it helps rewire the brain away from pessimism, or something. 

meditation

Before this year, I’ve never had a serious relationship with meditation, but it always seemed like the kind of thing I would like. In mid-January I got struck by the urge to try it, so I did, and kept it up for a few days, and then I fell off, and then I got back on, and now, somehow, it’s been three-hundred-something days of it in a row. I have learned to find a quiet moment in a nice corner of my room before work, but also in a tent in the Catskills, in a guest room in Wales, in a hotel in Georgia, on a walk through Brooklyn, in my childhood bedroom. My life and brain don’t feel, like, enormously different or changed, but that’s good; it feels useful to keep showing up to something without expectation.

my siblings

Having a big family means every year is inevitably a big year for someone, but this was, somehow, a big year for all of my siblings. Mostly good things: health and healing, a wedding and a graduation, a license acquired and a course of study started and jobs well done. It doesn’t feel good to get into the hard stuff here, but there was a lot of that, too -- a lot of grueling bullshit overcome. After the wedding I almost texted everyone just to say how proud I was of all of them, but naturally I chickened out. But I really am proud!

navy blue

Longtime readers of, uh, *gestures wildly* whatever this is may recall that last year I claimed I only wore black but might be interested in navy blue? This year I determined that navy blue is so good: the color of the deep ocean, the night sky, my first Catholic school uniform. I bought navy jumpsuits, a sweatshirt, a scrunchie. I wore navy-adjacent eyeliner just in the corners of my eyes most days of July and August and September. I’m wearing a navy blue sweater right now. A good year for navy. 

“not” by big thief

My song of the year, which I knew from the first time I heard it. So much of this year (the news, the planet, global catastrophes, mass violence, etc. not to mention personal failures) felt hopeless and dreadful, but also so constant and exhausting that I wasn’t sure I could keep summoning anger, never mind do it in a useful way. I love this song because it is about abjection in the same way it isn’t about anything, about absence as presence, about not-knowing as knowing. It is desperate without being hopeless, explosive without being violent, or maybe: violent without being harmful. It’s about transcending language and different kinds of language and using whichever tools you have (Words are good enough). It’s about being swallowed whole by the everything-ness, a theme that came up in so much of the work I loved this year, the subject of an essay I’ll never write (lol). Music Twitter™ got into an argument about whether this band is good; I feel so sure of my love for this song (and most of what this band does) that I, for once, didn’t immediately assume I was a fool, or being had, just because someone disagrees with me. Instead it felt delicious and special to resonate with a thing that doesn’t resonate for everyone, a rare and generous experience for me. Imagine that.

pottery

At the beginning of the year I signed up for a ten-week session of pottery classes at a studio in Georgetown, and then when I told M, he wanted to join (by which I felt incredibly endeared). Then it became ten more weeks, then ten more, and since then we’ve gone nearly every Thursday night. Some things that are nice: learning to to make something with my hands, especially after staring at a screen all day; not being able to look at my phone or read the news for several hours (related: so many of the Democratic debates happened on Thursday nights!); having a standing weekly date with my favorite person. Nearly everyone in our lives got lumpy bowls, vases, etc. for Christmas this year, of which we are very proud.

“rooms on fire” by stevie nicks

This year, Stevie Nicks became the first woman be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame twice and so Rolling Stone interviewed her about her fabulous career. In the interview, Rob Sheffield said his favorite song of hers is “Ooh My Love” from The Other Side of the Mirror, which is an album I had never listened to before, so I started listening and the first song just hooked me. It’s so dramatic and magical and moody! It’s right up there on the Apple Music-generated playlist of my most-played songs of the year.

stockholm

For several years one of my repeated resolutions was “go to Scandinavia.” Sweden has always been the big goal, but Oslo seemed possible for a minute, and in 2013 I did briefly entertain the idea of going to graduate school in Finland. (Imagine!) This year I got really fed up of having not really, you know, taken a proper vacation since starting my job, so I took a full week off after my sister’s wedding and planned a solo trip to Stockholm. Each day of my trip I woke up whenever I woke up and I explored a different island; I went for long runs, drank coffee, ate kardemummabullar, took the subway across town, saw a one-of-a-kind Viking ship. I burst into tears at the Moderna Museet, ate through a vegetarian tasting menu at the Fotografiska, had an extremely lovely spa experience. I read three books in a week. I loved every second of it.

wigs

I bought a big gaudy pink wig this spring in anticipation of seeing Sasha Velour’s one-woman show in New York -- or, I told myself I bought it for that reason, but I think I really just wanted the possibility of wearing a big gaudy pink wig at will. After the Sasha show, I wore it to see Robyn at The Anthem, and was delighted when, after I put a picture on Instagram, a handful of people in my life thought I had a) dyed my hair pastel pink and b) grew my hair ~half a foot over the weekend. (I wish!) I think I’ll wear it for our house’s beach-themed NYE party, too.

everything else 

frequent, long drives with M; songs about solidarity; the #saltypod; custom t-shirts; craving waffles; having an e-reader; the concept of “the archive”; choosing kindness; threatening to move to rural new england to work on a farm; being in love