#kennedy curse ain’t got nothing on me.

[luminiamore]

he’s giving scandal so bad.

[hennessystevens-udaku]

Oh Baby! (Baby Fever Pt. 2)

It had been five years since The Kompound first welcomed new life and Hennessy’s baby fever was back with a vengeance. With the birth of Angel and Erik’s third child, Henny couldn’t couldn’t contain the joy she felt whenever she was around the tiny beings. Watching them grow and develop and become her new favorite past time and she loved when the opportunity to teach them new things presented itself. Princess Nya had taken after her mother and Bastion, a little diva in the making with an eye for all things music and fashion, while N’Jadaka was smart and cunning like his father. N’Jada was chill like her mother with a passion for exploring and reading, while baby Adelaide, the youngest of the camp, was still figuring things out. It was a sight to behold and it brought Hennessy back to the conversation she and Erik had had following Charlie’s baby shower. Though she thought it was just a phase back then, she was sure that the universe was setting her up for a miniature version of herself or her husband that she could call her own. After a long day in the dispensary planning and budgeting for the line of edibles she and Kristina had been working on, she finally made it home. She made the short trip upstairs where she immediately stripped out of her clothes and slipping into a nice hot bath. She rolled herself a joint of the special goddess blend that she and Kennedi created, aptly named Aurelie, and washed away the day. Once she completed her bath, she made her way to Erik’s office to discuss what had been plaguing her in the last few weeks.

—

“A baby, huh?” he asked with an amused look on his face. She and Erik pair had had more than a few conversations about the topic and after suffering the miscarriage while they were in college, he was convinced that she didn’t want to try again.

“What made you change your mind, Princess?” he asked stroking her knuckles with his thumb.

“The twins,” she answered without hesitation. “I love being around them and caring for them and I thought that maybe it was time that we tried again.” Erik nodded, taking in his wife’s words with a smile.

“Yeah, I saw the search history on the iMac. You want a surrogate?” His eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Hurt? Sadness?

“I was looking into it, but I wanted to talk to you about it first. There would be so much to consider with me getting pregnant. I’d basically have to work from home because I can’t be around weed and all that. Not to mention, I’m still afraid of what happened. I don’t want us to go through all that work only for me to miscarry again.” She wrapped her arms around herself defensively as she continued her little spiel. In return, Erik grabbed her arms and placed them securely around his neck and his around her waist.

“Hennessy stop that. I know you’re scared because of what happened back then, but I honestly think that was just the universe telling us that we weren’t ready to be parents yet. We’ve both done a lot of growing and maturing since then. I think we’re ready, don’t you?” She nodded, slowly lifting her head to look him in the eye.

“Now back to this surrogate business.” He looked down at her with a stern look. “If I’m being totally honest, I don’t want some stranger carrying my baby. It’s too risky and some surrogates tend to get attached and I ain’t got time for some other bitch to be claiming my baby as hers.”

“But baby there are other --”

“Let me finish, baby. I know that there are other methods of surrogacy that allow the parents to choose who they want to carry the child, but there are so many moments in pregnancy that you’d miss. You wouldn’t get to feel the little flutters when the baby moves or kicks. You’d have to sit back and watch me shower some other woman with the love and attention that’s supposed to be yours while you carry my big head ass baby.” He poked her stomach playfully to further emphasize his point.

“You just wanna see my munchkin ass waddling around here barefoot and pregnant,” she said slapping his hands away from her belly.

“I will neither confirm nor deny those allegations,” he responded with a laugh. “But seriously, if you having a baby then I’m gonna be the one to put it in you and it’s gonna grow and be nurtured inside your belly. It’s only right.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll track my ovulation and we can try.” She placed a gentle kiss to his lips before attempting to walk away from him. His grip on her waist tightened as he held her close to him, deepening the kiss.

“Can we try even if you ain’t ovulating?” he asked against her lips, clearing space on his desk before lifting her and sitting her on top.

“You so damn nasty,” she giggled as he dropped to his knees in front of her.

“You knew this already,” he retorted from his position between her plus thighs. Soon the sounds of her wetness and slurps filled the air as he feasted on his wife, drinking from her body like his life depended on it.

“So, do we have a baby yet?” Bastion asked, bouncing on her toes like a child in a candy store.

“Not yet.”

“Damn, y’all been going at it like rabbits. At this point, I’m pregnant from listening,” Kennedi teased.

“I swear everybody in this family is a creep,” Hennessy replied, rolling her eyes. It was true, ever since she and Erik had the discussion about her adding to the family, they’d tried every chance they got, sometimes multiple times a day, but we're still having no luck.

“Maybe my uterus is broken,” Henny stated, looking down between her legs from her seated position on the kitchen counter.

“Bitch shut up!” Bastion screamed through her laughter. “You will get pregnant when Bast is good and ready for you to be. Maybe the universe still isn’t ready for a Mini Hennerik.”

“What the fuck is a Hennerik?” Aly’Sha asked.

“It’s a play on their names, kinda like Bennifer or Brangelina,” Bast explained.

“Bitch the door. And don’t ever say that corny ass shit again.” Bastion rolled her eyes and made her way back to her design studio.

“Y’all laughing, but I’m deadass. Maybe it’s not meant for me to give him a baby.”

“Hennessy, you’re worried about nothing. With the way y’all been going at it, you’ll have a bun in the oven before the week is out, mark my words.” With that, Kennedi grabbed an apple juice from the fridge and shuffled to her art studio, eager to finish a portrait of the twins that she had been working on. Hennessy was once again left alone with her thoughts and they were beginning to run wild with all the possibilities of ‘what if’. She decided to slip into something eye-catching and drop by the Outreach Center and pull a freaky deaky drive-by on her husband to quell her illicit thoughts.

--

Late. Exactly 2 weeks, 3 days, and 2 hours late according to her period tracker. Hennessy almost cursed Kennedi for being so damn accurate in her prediction that she would be pregnant sooner than she expected. Hennessy bit her bottom lip in anticipation as the timer on her phone wound down. She paced the bathroom floor for the entire 5 minutes until the alarm sounded, signaling that it was time to check the stick. Her eyes grew wide as she held it up and saw the two tiny pink lines indicating that there was indeed life growing inside of her. She ran out of the bathroom to the two people she knew would keep the secret until she was ready to reveal it to the rest of the house and to her husband.

“Es-tu enceinte?” Angel asked with a wide grin.

“Oui,” Hennessy replied, returning the grin. Angel squealed loudly, kicking her feet in the air like Charlotte from the Princess and the Frog.

“Can I get the English version of this news so I can share in the excitement?” Charlie called from the foot of Angel’s bed.

“Henny’s pregnant!” Angel squealed.

“Jesus, tell the whole house, why don’t you,” Henny said with a playful roll of her eyes.

“Wait, so we’re the first to know?” Charlie asked, now grinning as well. Henny nodded her head, taking a seat beside her.

“Y’all are the only two I could trust not to say or do anything to give it away before I’m ready to tell fathead.”

“Then your secret is safe with us, Mommy Shark,” Charlie teased, rubbing her belly. “Welcome to the Mommy Gang. We have breast milk and cookies.”

“Organic breast milk?” Henny asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Only the best for our churn,” Angel replied, her New Orleans accent creeping out ever so slightly.

“Looks like I have another shower to plan,” Angel said with a smile. She loved the idea of their family growing and she’d been secretly hoping that Erik talked her out of the whole surrogate idea. She was just like Erik, finding the thought of the tiny woman pregnant comical.

“I’m gonna go figure out how I’m gonna announce this to the rest of the house.”

--

Four Months In

Hennessy was miserable. It was the middle of summer in California and her belly along with her appetite was growing every day. Though she had been successful in hiding her growing bump, choosing to wear more black pieces and pants suits, there were two entities in The Kompound that made keeping her pregnancy a secret a tad bit difficult.

“Ooh Hennessy, you’re glowing! Have you switched skincare products?” Davita called, causing all eyes to fall on the small woman.

“No, just the products I got from Kennedi,” she replied, giving Vita a death glare that only urged her to continue.

“Well, that top is nice. Got ya titties sitting all pretty and swollen. They look like they full of milk!” Angel and Charlie caught on and immediately came to Henny’s rescue.

“Nah, Henny and I went bra shopping and I turned her on to one of my favorites. It’s comfortable and makes the titties sit immaculately, no matter the top.”

“Yeah, what Charlie said.” It was now Josephine’s turn to chime in on the topic.

“Henny Hen, I haven’t seen you drink or smoke in a minute. Something you wanna tell us?”

“Nope,” she called, grabbing an apple juice from the fridge and heading towards the front door.

“Well I had a dream about fish last night,” Vita chirped. “Which one of the wives knocked up?” Hennessy’s heels clicked loudly against the marble floor of the house until the door slammed behind her. Erik only shook his head in amusement. Though he already knew she was pregnant, having picked up on it when she started wearing actual clothes and turned down her favorite meal of shrimp and grits, he wanted to wait until she was ready to tell him herself. He could help the smile that crossed his face as he watched her from the kitchen window, waddling to her truck like a little penguin. His little penguin. He made a point to have a bouquet of sunflowers delivered to the dispensary and set up a spa day for her later in the week so she could relax.

“When did you find out?” Angel asked looking over his shoulder once everyone had retired to do their own thing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mrs. Stevens,” he said as he placed a soft kiss to her forehead before walking away. If she, Henny, and Charlie wanted to play dumb, he would too. The following weeks went by the same way. Vita and Josie kept taunting, Hennessy kept denying, and Erik kept silently pampering her. Finally fed up with the charade and wanting the entire thing to be out in the open, she decided to send out a mass text to her family. The responses came almost instantly.

Sha Sha: Deadass? I’m gonna be an auntie? Yoooooo!

Baby Bast: Oh great, another tiny human.

Charlie: Finally! I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep the secret.

Everyone responded, sending well wishes and congratulations except Erik. She bit her lip, silently panicking in her office.

“Dr. Stevens? Mr. Stevens is here to see you.” Oh shit.

“Send him in Raven.” He appeared a few moments later, dressed in an all black Versace suit with matching loafers.

“Got something you wanna tell me, Mrs. Stevens?” he asked as he made his way to stand in front of her, his smile growing by the second. She returned his smile before unbuttoning her suit jacket and rubbing her belly.

“Shit just got real, Mr. Stevens.”

—————————————

TAGS: @vibranium-soul @imagine-mbaku @mareethequeen @greennightspider @jozigrrl @hearteyes-for-killmonger @alyshastevens-udaku @muse-of-mbaku @thehomierobbstark @wifeyofnjadaka @youreadthatright @tgigoldie @killmongersgurl @dameshaemonique @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @amethyst1993 @iamrheaspeaks @laketaj24 @bidibidibombaclaat @thereturnofbadazz @whatmoredoyouwantamericaa @forbeautyandlife @yaachtynoboat711 @panthergoddessbast @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @dacreskars @thadelightfulone @drsunshine97 @wakanda-inspired @wawakanda-btch @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @ayellepea @awkwardlyabstract @madamslayyy @blowmymbackout @vikkidc @champagnesugamama @sociallyawkward18 @trevantesbrat @supersizemeplz @itsangeludaku

[babblingbr00k]

Seek Me & You Shall Find Me

Rule 1: Prescribed medications such as: antidepressants, pain medicine, anti-anxiety medicine, sleep medicine were completely banned at ATWH. The only medication that we were allowed to bring in and take were over the counter medication and Prescriptions that were deemed necessary to prevent harm/or death. The theory behind this is our very first commandment. Thou shall have no other Gods before me.

I remember, as the wind blew the moon and the darkness in, being very anxious and over emotional. I cried uncontrollably. I was petrified of night, scared of being awake and alone. I was completely at the mercy of the monsters my 2nd night wanted to inflict. The only thing keeping me from bolting out the door, was the knowledge that I had nowhere to go.

It had now been over a week since I had my last dose of my Effexor, the antidepressant I had been on for 8 years since my brother died. It had also been 2 days since I had had my beta blocker. The medication that kept my heart from beating too fast.

My body was now detoxing from amphetamines, opiates, antidepressants, and a beta blocker. If I were to label my discomfort on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst. I was suffering at an unimaginable 67.3234.

I cannot express to you how much I wanted to die.

I stopped praying for the strength to get through this. I was now praying, begging, albeit DEMANDING for God to give me the strength to kill myself.

Like a child, I was clingy to Emma. Where ever she went I was sure to follow. If she were to sit down or stand still for longer than 2.5 seconds, I would force my way into her arms. Her petting, rocking, and cooing…...helped. But I could tell that, after several hours, she was beginning to get annoyed with the lack of personal space I was willing to give her. It wasn't long till I noticed Emma start to withdraw from me. When I would enter into a room, she would leave. She spent the rest of the evening with Kennedy.

Que private pity party of a catastrophic level. Abandoned again!!!

I was still unable to eat without it coming right back up. I was now crossing into the 48 hour mark of being unable to consume and keep anything of nutritional value in my stomach. I remember not being bothered by this. When I stood on the scale in the bathroom that morning, I was shocked when my weight read almost 270 pounds.

Our bodies start to burn excess fat after 2 days without eating. It’s also around this time that our adrenal glands start to pump endorphins into our system. It’s our bodies way of protecting itself from the pain of hunger pains. I remember looking forward to all small bit of relief that was headed my way within the next 24-48 hours.

Nine o'clock came and it was time for our circle of prayer. We all gathered in the middle of the room, formed a circle and held hands. I angrily “passed,” while the rest of the girls prayed. Immediately following prayers I went and climbed into my bed. Emma, who spent the entire day soothing me, wouldn't even look at me. I layed there wide awake, listening to the other girls drift off to sleep, wondering what kind of hell the dark corners of my mind had to offer the insommed.

I’m not sure how long I laid in my bed, twisting and turning, trying to get comfortable.

The only way I can explain how this feels is: imagine laying down, initially being able to lay still and comfortable for 20 seconds or so. But you start to feel a painful tingling sensation in your feet. It’s similar to the painful tingling your arm or your leg experiences when it’s “waking up” after having been deprived of blood flow for a little bit of time. This “tingle” slowly makes its way up your legs, into your back, then your shoulders, and finally into your arms. Movement of your extremities usually eases this feeling. But once you have done your little bedside boogie and start to get comfortable again, the tingling rallies, crawling up your legs once again for another attack against every inch of your body. It’s called Restless leg. Imagine going through this every couple of minutes for 9 hours straight.

I layed there in that little twin bed for hours, listening to the soft breathing of the other girls as they peacefully slept. I twisted and turned, changing positions every couple of minutes in an attempt to ease the Restless Legs. The sheets were that low thread count, so there were little bubbles that irritated my skin.

I found myself an interesting little rhythm.

Stomach….

Right Side….

Back…..

Left Side….

Now reverse….

Left side….

Back…..

Right side…..

Stomach….

Now do the Stanky Leg and the Dab….

I fought, for what seemed like hours. I didn’t care if anyone saw me. Desperate to try ANYTHING, I even attempted the Hands and Knees Down/Butt Up pose that we all resorted to as a child. It didn’t take long for me to abandon said pose. See, with my bowels being in the shape that they were in due to my detoxing, the only thing that this pose accomplished, was a bit of Brook’s Backdoor Homemade Airfreashner.

Abort!!!!!

Back to the ole Four Turn Tango.

Stomach….

Left Side…

Back….

Right Side….

Now reverse..

Right Side….

Back…..

Left Side….

Stomach...

….Now do the Stanky Leg and the Dab….

I HAVE TO GET OUT OF MY BODY!!!

I jumped out of bed and started running in place, jumping up and down. I was at war with my body. Using my hands, I assaulted every inch of my body. Beating my legs, my stomach, my butt, and finally my head. I thought, maybe, I could beat this feeling out of me.

Winded, I stopped to catch my breath. I realized that I had forgotten where I was. I looked around the room and remembered where I was, and that I wasn’t alone. I closely observed each girl as they laid in their own bed, checking to make sure none of them were awake to witness my self inflicted assault to my detoxing body.

I looked down at my bed and felt a wave of hate wash over me. Hate for my bed, hate for my sick body, hate for Phillip for abandoning me, hate for my parents for throwing me away, and hate for God who had forsaken me.

I never wanted to see that bed again. I grabbed my pillow and blanket made my way into the dark living room on the other side of the house.

I threw my pillow and blanket on the full sized couch and introduced myself.

“Couch...I’m Brook….I wanted to introduce myself. I felt it was the polite thing to do. Ya see….I’m about to lay down and try to get comfortable enough to get some sleep. But...the way this night is playing out….I have a feeling things are gonna be getting real freaky.”

I gave my new friend a gentle pat, laid down, and prayed that I would quickly fall into a peaceful sleep.

I started to count….1…..2…..3…..4…………………

It was around the 27 second mark that I felt the tingling in my feet.

..aaaaannnddddd here we go…..

Stomach…..

Left Side….

Back….

Right Side….

Now reverse…..

I now added the beat from Cat Nie Jo to my new nightly routine.

Right Side…..

Back…..

Insert the Nae Nae

Left Side……

I stopped mid Stanky Leg and burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I laughed so hard that I started to cry. I even wet my only pair of semi clean underwear.

I know what your thinking, but I’m not going crazy. Well, not completely anyway. See if you have the ability to laugh at yourself or have a little bit of fun in a situation that is fucked up….well...you just learned a valuable coping skill my friend. Good Job!!

I calmed down and finally caught my breath.

I was now pissed off at the couch. She could, literally, kiss my ass. I grabbed my pillow and blanket and shuffled over to the Love Seat.

Politely introduce myself to my new freaky furniture friend.

“Let’s get busy…..”

I remember wondering how long those couches had been there and how many asses they had seen through the years.

Moot…..

Well hello racing thoughts, wouldn’t be a party without you. I was wondering when your ass was gonna show up. Come on in and join this Fuck Fest Of Chaostrophic Proportions!

My thoughts bounced around from one random thought to another.

I went from thinking about the couches to thinking about my 1970’s couch that I got free when I moved into my first apartment when I was 21.

Fox Run Apartments.

What was the name of that Disney Cartoon?

Oh yea...Fox and the Hound.

You ain’t nothing but a hound dog….crying all the time…

What time is it? Where’s the damn clock?

It’s almost midnight.

It’s Tuesday. Almost Hump Day.

Why Hump Day? Who had the bright idea to name Wednesday Hump Day.

Maybe he had a standing reservation with his wife every Wednesday. His designated booty day.

Booty...God my booty hurt. 3 days of diarrhea will put serious wear and tear on the badonk-a-donk spout.

Whale spout. They have to come up for air every 15 minutes.

An alligator can hold its breath 30-60 minutes.

Humans risk brain damage after 3.

Brian Love...the little 5 year old boy that was hit by a car. My first Meritorious Service Award. I got to ride in Air Med because the Paramedic needed an extra set of hands. While he worked on little Brian, I had to squeeze the bag once every two seconds. Delivering oxygen into his little lungs.

Before I could make the transition into my next random, racing thought, I was interrupted by a very familiar high pitched squeaking. I didn’t get up immediately.

I wanted to give God a minute. I prayed that He would take him quickly.

"Please, God, spare me from THIS tonight."

I wasn't too keen on becoming a mouse serial killer. But after a minute or so of waiting for God to do his own damn job, I reluctantly got up. I cursed God, yet again, and followed the trail of audible suffering...my broom at the ready.

This time my dude was in the kitchen. I walked in and turned on the bright fluorescent lights. Curse!! Curse!! Curse!! Damn everything and everyone to hell.

Rule 2:Swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain will NOT be tolerated at All The Way House. If you refuse to abide by this rule, you will be expelled from the program and not allowed to return.

I found my next victim glued to a glue trap under the shelving of cooking supplies. Just one guy, he had only just started chewing off one of his paws.

Broom handle down, heart hardened, tears falling, taking aim, prayer for forgiveness, stab, stab, stab, die, die, die!!!

I stood there with him, watching, keeping him company, until the jerking stopped and he was gone.

“Fuck Forgiveness.” I tried to convince myself that putting the mouse out of his misery didn’t bother me.

But the tears falling down my face told me that that statement was a huge lie.

I disposed of the corpse, then stood in the kitchen and continued to cry. My happiness from new clothes long forgotten. I took stock of the collection of knives and debated on whether I should leave my own corpse for the girls to find.

It wasn’t until after I noticed the 8 foot, side by side freezer that I told myself, "I'll think about that tomorrow," (que Scarlett O'Hara.)

I dropped my killing instrument and made my way to the freezer. I stood there, before this gigantic, silvery door to Narnia, and said a quick prayer.

"Please, for the love of all things good, let there be contents within worthy of my sophisticated pallet."

The doors were heavy and I had to pull past the suction. There was no way in hell I would be denied my, "due and proper."

Once I had the doors opened, I could see stacks of fruit, plate lunches for the next day, and.....gallons of ice cream. Well you could have called me Chunk and told me to do the "Truffle shuffle," for all I cared. As far as I was concerned, God put this mountain in front of me, and by God, I would conquer it.

"Screw this," I said out loud. "If I can't stab myself to death, I'll fucking eat myself to death." I grabbed the gallon of strawberry cheesecake bliss, grabbed a ladle and happily resigned myself to eating my way to 300 lbs, diabetes, heart failure, then finally sweet death.

"How does this fit into your 1st Commandment?" I said under my breath.

I closed my eyes and pretended that I was shoveling Opana laced ice cream into my mouth and down my gullet. It was the severe brain freeze and subsequent nausea that made me stop. I threw my gifts from God to the side and ran to the bathroom, shoved my finger down my throat, and gave the porcelain God the contents of my stomach.

Once everything was up and out, I sat back onto the bathroom floor and caught my breath.

Brook? You are working yourself up. You have got to get a grip. The only thing this is doing is making it worse.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. On the toilet and walls was an abstract art piece that would have made Picasso proud. The white, pink, and red spew was a beautiful contrast to the faded green wallpaper. In the corner, an unknown, and suspicious brownish smudge made up a smile that went along with my strawberry eyes and nose.

I looked myself. What a waste. I had regurgitation in my hair, on my face, and down the front of my night shirt. I looked down to the floor and saw that I was sitting In a puddle that I had not noticed before. It was the smell drifting up that informed me that I had soiled myself (#1 & #2) during my peritoneal purge.

You can safely assume that I was at my most lowest point. I didn't just hit bottom. If you had had the desire to seek me out and try to find me, I was there, several 100 feet below rock bottom.

I submit

Uncle!!

I give up!

relinquishing,

86'in this shit,

have no fight left,

abdicate,

retreat,

withdraw,

yield,

abandon!!

I’m going to Davy Jones Mother Fucking Locker!!

I WANTED TO DIE!!! Why have you forsaken me God? Why have you abandoned me in my most desperate time of need?

I laid there, on the dirty, sticky bathroom floor, covered in my own piss, shit, and vomit. As much as I wanted to give up, I decided to give God one last call. This was my Hail Mary.

I distinctly remember whispering,"Help."

Then I waited.

And I listened.

………….

It would have been so easy to lay there, continuing to feel sorry for myself. It would have been easy to admit defeat and finish digging my own grave on the tiled floor. All I had to do was pull that dirt in on top of me.

Bury me here. Peace Out Bitches!!

I, soon, felt my body start to relax as I drifted off to sleep. I started to dream. In my dream I heard a voice and felt a presence that I hadn't felt in over 8 years. It was the comforting, yet insistent, voice of my brother , Coleson.

"Come on El Negro! (that’s what he called me) Not here and not like this. Get up!"

It would be amazing if I sat here and told you that it was the voice of my brother that got me off that floor and into the shower. It wasn't. I sprang up and out of my fetal position with an overwhelming need to throw up again. I dry heaved into the toilet as I #1 and #2'd all over myself for the 2nd time. When the gagging was done, I stood up and glanced over at my strawberry smiley face abstract piece.....and told him to go fuck himself.

For some reason I started speaking in first person.

"Brook is better than this."

“Brook doesn't just give up."

"Brook is a warrior and will fight."

“Brook smells like shit and needs to get her ass in the shower."

After my shower, Laying in my bed, before I drifted off into a semi-peaceful sleep, I promised myself, and whoever else was listening, that I was going to see this through. No more talk of killing myself or feeling sorry for myself. I had two feet, and dammit, I was going to stand on them.

Was that actually Coleson? Taking a minute to boss me around from the afterlife? Or was I finally entering the hallucination phase of death?

Well whatever you wanna call it, it worked. I got up, took a shower, put on clean clothes and went back to bed. It's possible that my self conscious created my brothers voice in a moment of self preservation. My brain told me what I wanted to hear, in a voice I was yearning to hear.

I knew that me giving up wasn't an option. If I wanted to live....I would have to fight.