#kenna massey hart

[subrosapress-blog]

                        SEVERANCE STAR FAKES SWEET TOOTH

IF the title doesn’t say it all, we’ve got just the details for you. we were midway through collecting our information on the zennies, sifting through useless and/or boring tips when we came across one that was particularly interesting. and lucky for us, our informant was lovely enough to send in evidence. thanks for the tip, honey.

TURNS out that hollywood’s newest OTP #keliot is one big sham. we wanted to say we were surprised, but the more we thought about it.. well, we did ask eliot to stir things up for us, so we’ll take this as one sincere form of flattery here.

check out the official audio on our page over here. below, the transcripts:

ELIOT VARNER : DON’T use it all, i’m gonna need the rest of it to deal with little miss sunshine. 

PENELOPE WEST : sobriety is not an option. you know they call her little miss sunshine for a reason, right? doesn’t exactly seem like your type. 

E: she’s not.  it’s just a bit of fun for the  press  –  truth be told i think ripping out my fingernails would be less painful spending another second with her. 

YIKES, harsh! and here we thought eliot was finding a heart.. maybe he really is as good as acting as he thinks he is. now there’s a plot twist! but it continues..

P: is she really that bad? i mean, she’s always been nice to me. i didn’t take her for the publicity stunt type, but i mean if it’s working for the two of you then why not? 

E: oh she’s not  the type.  she’s got  absolutely no idea what’s  going  on.    makes it so much more genuine and fun. 

P: why exactly are you leading her on then? is it just a publicity thing? ‘cause i’m sure there’s someone else that’s willing – people are always trying to boost their reps around here. 

is that true, penelope? do tell us more.

E: i’m  not  leading her on per se  –  i’m  strengthening her  character. it makes  us both  look  good so she can’t really complain.  it  wouldn’t  be  as authentic that  way. besides,  it’s  working.  people have nicknamed us keliot. isn’t that adorable?

it was adorable, until we figured out you were lying to us. we’ve got to say, we’re starting to get a little offended here.. using hollywood’s sweetheart as a pathetic shield for your even more pathetic career? you can do better, sweetie.

P:  she’s famous without you. and looks good without you, too.  so what i’m seeing is that you’re the only one benefiting from this arrangement. it would be adorable, probably, if i didn’t know what i do now! do what you want, though, but i’ll be here sipping my tea when it comes back to bite your ass.

E: she’s having a good time. finds me adorable for your  information. did  you not  hear  about out little smooch on the red carpet?  it’s not gonna  come back  to  bite  me. after  this night is over  and the job is complete, i’ll let her  down gently.  she’ll be none the  wiser and her ego will be saved.

WE think the irony in that bit is almost poetic, isn’t it? oh, eliot! don’t you know we’ll always be around to make certain it comes back to bite you? when we said entertain us, we were hoping for another red carpet fist fight or maybe a back room hookup, not manipulating one of the only decent people left at zenith. guess those rumours about you being a cold-hearted monster aren’t quite rumours at all. and penelope, if this was your best effort at being a good, sage friend: don’t quit your day job. again.

kenna, you may want to rethink hollywood. doesn’t seem to be working out for you, honey. we hear JCPenney needs a new designer for their pre-teen line, though. K for JCPenney, anyone? 

IT’S safe to say that with this newfound information, #Keliot is canceled and eliot should probably hit LAX and catch the first flight back to the candian rock he crawled under. 

[kcwi]

✦ –– / imsg ˚ ⁎ * · phoenix 💞 !

KENNA : my morning is going so well

KENNA : i didn't screw up a SINGLE coffee order

KENNA : and my interns actually didn't burn down the place down while i was away for the last two days

[subrosapress-blog]

OH, honey – where to start?

  let’s begin with the good. we’d give you the bad news first, but we’re sure the best of that is yet to come.

   first off, despite all the comments, we’re devastated that our beloved king has #Confirmed the mutual love between him and bean. we’re still holding out for his better sense to kick in, buton the plus side, we will admit they do look dapper together.

    parker apparently is not pregnant, which is a real bummer. there’s always next month though, isn’t there? we were really hoping for a baby doll-esque dress so we could celebrate parker jr. but alas, it’s squashed. she did give us a little kick ( no pun intended ) by getting into it with one of our interviewers. do we smell a penelope-vs-brynn smackdown round two on the horizon? we suggest you all steer clear of the blonde, no matter how she looks. nice choice on the versace, honey.

   did anyone see cash fowler absolutely slay that red carpet? we’re thinking he belongs at the met gala next to show a celebrity how to actually be innovative. those gold boots are everything and we’re gonna need that nail tutorial, cash.

   in comparison, noelle fell short in the shadow of cash, but we’ll agree that blue is her colour. we’re keeping an eye on that budding love between her and gavin faulker and we’re hoping that something will unfold between them tonight.

   another shocker on the red carpet: kenna massey-hart and eliot varner? did anyone else see that or were we just dreaming? normally, we’re on top of the gossip but that’s a pairing we weren’t expecting. not even when we asked eliot to deliver. it’s working, though – they looked glam as ever, coordinated but not too matchy matchy. they looked quite cozy with each otherand he ducked in to save her from a pesky interviewer just as icing on the cake.  connor who? we’ll get on that trending twitter tag: #keliot. the only thing we’re not supporting is eliot’s decision to wear his sunglasses all night. we miss your pretty face.

  speaking of kenna, apparently all that time out of the limelight has done her some good. not only with a new beau but, as confirmed on ash devon’s instagram, he’s wearing a custom massey-hart design. we tried really hard to look for something we hated here, but we just can’t find one. the black tie & suit game is getting old – and boy does ash look good in pink.

  nathaniel meyer came through to slay us all with that makeup game as always. that glittering eyeshadow doesn’t get old. apparently he came through with lincoln as his date, which is unexpected, but blessed. put a knife through those bean & lincoln rumours and be the only person to rock green glimmering eyes without looking like a cheap hooker. beautiful.

 simon hong appeared with another bold red carpet choice. that vibrant red is something we’re adoring and he wears it like a runway model. no hate here. we’re just disappointed his personality doesn’t match up. there’s slight potential here: apparently he’s hit the z awards with the legend herself, brynn holloway. we’d think she would opt for someone a little more buff to keep her from another potential nose job, but hey. whatever floats your boat.

  well, we’re all out of compliments for the time being, but we assure you we’re everywhere tonight and knowing how these events go, once the champagne starts getting passed around, the real show will begin. don’t forget to track our tag: #ZATZ for live updates as the show goes on. cheers!

[subrosapress-blog]

favourite karaoke of the night at the afterparty?

THERE WERE plenty of golden performances, we must say. although we may have to go with ash and kenna’s rendition of ‘fergalicious’, if only for the surprise. never thought we’d see the day where the words “how the boys wanna eat it” coming out of kenna’s mouth, but hey. 

[subrosapress-blog]

@SUBROSAPRESS: wardrobe malfunction! good thing we've got some stylists around. kenna brings her work home, apparently: the girl's got a sewing kit in her clutch! #ZATZ

[subrosapress-blog]

Anyone you wanna see getting into a fight?

WE’RE waiting anxiously for the post-keliot smackdown. we’d love for something unexpected though.. there are plenty of people at zenith flying under the radar. we’re sure one of them suffers from rage blackouts. entertain us.

[subrosapress-blog]

Anyone that you think isn't cut out for this life?

THERE’S a handful we aren’t so sure belong here. kenna, for obvious reasons. doesn’t matter if your parents are famous  – it’s clear hollywood isn’t your thing. achilles, because where did they come from? the “trailer lot” at zenith isn’t literally made to park your home, in case you were wondering. 

[subrosapress-blog]

Who do you want to see more of?

WE’D love for eliot to show some face after that fiasco, if only for the drama. if it’s not to busy meeting kenna’s fist, of course.

[subrosapress-blog]

@SUBROSAPRESS: and, speaking of kenna and the beau, does anyone know where eliot's disappeared to? keep your eyes peeled, folks. #ZATZ

[subrosapress-blog]

@SUBROSAPRESS: looks like kenna traded in the beau for the bottle at the afterparty. hollywood's sweetheart is full of surprises tonight, isn't she? #ZATZ

@SUBROSAPRESS: by the way she's throwing back those tequila shots, we're having a hard time believing this is her first rodeo.. #ZATZ

[subrosapress-blog]

#keliot is happening and it's adorable!

WE just saw! pda on the red carpet is serious business. they look quite smitten, don’t they? maybe eliot really did turn around... we aren’t sure whether to be proud or disappointed.

[varncrs]

‘The Severance’ star Eliot Varner pictured together with Z Award nominated stylist Kenna Massey-Hart at the 2017 Annual Z Awards.    |   @ofkenna