#kendrick is so low i dont even want to talk about it

[celine-song]

nothing against people enjoying m|dnights but it being number one on metacritic is absolutely ridiculous the critics need to hop off her dick I'm so serious

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[kcookendrick]

don’t worry baby

Who: Adam Levine and Anna Kendrick (anam) @hfamelevine

Where: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York City 

When: October 15th 2018 sometime at night 

What: Maroon 5 has a little get together before going on stage for their last show and Anna feels a little overwhelmed with everyone and everything. Adam and Anna talk things out. 

Trigger Warnings: more talk about her fertility issues 

Anna: They were still in New York, and it was right before the show. Half of the bands significant others and children were there supporting them. Anna had felt out of the loop, she felt like she didn’t belong there. 7 kids, there was 7 kids in the room and Anna felt a little overwhelmed. Not only with that, but by remembering all the names to the band’s wives and girlfriends. Hearing the kids scream, and laugh and Jesse’s newborn cry the brunette felt emotional. Letting out a shaky breath, she looked over to see Adam playing with the kids along with Dusty. Swallowing deep, Anna chewed her lips and looked at Jesse’s girlfriend Tara “I’ll be right now.” Was all she could say, and Anna stepped outside to get some fresh air. Standing up against the wall, Anna folded her arms across her chest and took a few deep breaths.

Adam: It had been the final night of the tour, and Adam was so excited to finish out the tour strong tonight with the guys of the band and then get home to L.A. He hadn’t been sleeping, if not at all, and had been running on fumes and coffee since Thursday. It was terrible, he knew it was terrible, but he was stressed between everything that happened with him and Behati, and the fact of knowing that they’d be going right home to another IVF appointment to see if it had worked for them or not. Everyone had met up at the Garden tonight since it was the last show, and there were a sea of kids backstage due to everyone having their families here, even Adam with Dusty. There had been a little time left before everyone would have to head out to their seats, and Adam was sitting on the floor with Vesper, Sam’s daughter and his goddaughter, trying to put a puzzle together with her. Through the flurry of noises, he could hear Anna’s voice and he began to frown. This had to be overwhelming for her and he felt really bad about it, considering. “Hey, Ves? Why don’t you see if you can be a big girl and put this together without me for a few minutes? I’m just gonna go make sure Anna’s okay.” He smiled a littl, and Vesper sighs which causes him to laugh. “I heard that, I’ll be right back. You can live without me for five minutes, missy.” He joked, and then gets up from the ground, heading outside to follow Anna. Opening the doors to head outside, he caught her standing against the wall and then began to frown. “Babe, it’s freezing out here.”

Anna: They were a huge family, that band had become a huge family and it was the first time Anna was meeting Adam’s goddaughter. She didn’t even knew he had a goddaughter until tonight. There were moments when she was sitting there thinking, Behati should be there and not her. The women felt so out of place, at least Anna knew Tara. She was getting to know the other girls as well, but Anna realized Tara was the only one she was talking too. After she stepped outside, the brunette had almost forgot the weather actually changes here in New York and wasn’t wearing a jacket. It was in the low 50’s, but Anna didn’t care, she could use the fresh air. Chewing her lips, the brunette felt fresh tears form in her eyes, but then jumped a little when she heard Adam’s voice “Jesus.” Was all she could say, and then Anna shook her head “I’m fine. I just needed some air, it’s hot in there.”

Adam: “Sorry, I’m sorry.” Adam puts his hands up in defense at Anna’s choice of words, but his frown is deepening. Each time that he had looked at her back and forth while in the band’s dressing room, he could tell that she felt out of place and it bothered him. Letting out a sigh, Adam takes his black leather jacket off of his arms and then shrugs it over Anna’s shoulders. “At least take this.” He says, with a sigh. “What’s going on? Are you alright?”

Anna: When he puts his jacket on her, Anna felt a big lump in her throat “Nothing, I’m fine Adam. Go back inside, you only have a few minutes left with Dusty anyway. I’ll meet you in there.” She didn’t feel like talking, Anna just needed a few moments to herself. Tomorrow would be the day they’d find out if they’re pregnant or not, and Anna just couldn’t handle that and /this/ right now. It all became too much, and she felt so overwhelmed. “Why didn’t you tell me that you had a Goddaughter?” She questioned, and sighed.

Adam: This is what Adam hated, for the lack of a better word, about how Anna shut herself down. She did just that and then proceeded to push him away, and she was doing just that in telling him to go back inside rather than talking to him about it. He lets out a small breath, shaking his head as he then shrugged his shoulders. “It…I don’t know, it just didn’t come up.” He says. “I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was a…big deal…”

Anna: Pushing her hair back, and away from her face Anna stood up against the brick wall again. Looking at him, Anna shook her head “I’m fine Adam, I just needed some fresh air okay?” She said, and then swallowed deep “She’s cute.” Anna said softly, and then looked down at the ground.

Adam: He could tell that she had been upset by the way that she had continued to use his name rather than “Babe”, or “baby”, as it had been something that they had grown accustomed to calling each other. Staring at her as she leans back against the brick wall again, he does it for a few moments and then shakes his head. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry.” He mutters, then turns back around to head for the doors back inside.

Anna: Folding her arms across her chest, she turns to face his back when he walks away from her “Why am I in there? I don’t.., Adam.. I don’t belong in there. I could’ve stayed back tonight, and let Behati go. She knows them better than I do, and I.., there’s so many kids in there I don’t..” Stopping herself, Anna felt herself getting choked up as water continued to fill her eyes.

Adam: “/Why/ do you keep doing that?” Adam asks suddenly, his own voice cracking again, suddenly now as he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn’t turn to look at her so he can’t see the water filling in his eyes, but he looks at the ground instead. “Why do you keep fucking comparing yourself to her?”

Anna: “I don’t know.” Anna said quietly, and then let out a shaky breath “She was with you for 7 years, she gave you Dusty. She knows them, she’s friends with them.” Tears falling down now, Anna shook her head “I’m just.., a little overwhelmed and scared about tomorrow and I’m sorry. You don’t.., you don’t need to worry about me I’m fine. You have a show tonight and you need to be focoused, I just needed some air. I’m sorry.”

Adam: “I’m not with her! I haven’t been with her in over a year Anna, and you still…” He pauses for a few moments and then shakes his head, continuing to look away from her. “I wanted you here because I love you and I want you to know them. Are you going to do this when we’re married? When you know you have me but you keep…comparing yourself to my ex-wife?” He sighs, slowly beginning to walk back toward the door. “Whatever.”

Anna: “I want to know them too, I’m insecure okay? I’m sorry. I don’t..,” Stopping herself, she looked at him “No, I don’t..” Not knowing what to say, Anna swallowed hard and “Why aren’t you scared? Are you scared for tomorrow? Cause I’m terrified, and I don’t know how to do any of this. I dont’ know how I’m going to handle being a mom when I can’t even stay in a room with 7 kids for an hour.” Anna cried, and then held her arms for comfort.

Adam: He doesn’t know what to say, and it’s another case of him completely stopping in his tracks. He clears his throat and continues to look away from her, shaking his head. “I…I do /everything/, Anna. /Everything/ I can, to make you see that you’re the one I want. There is /nobody/ else. I don’t want Behati, I don’t want fucking…Katy, I don’t want Anne, I don’t want /anyone/ if it’s not you.” He starts to frown, “I love you, I love you so much. I just can’t…I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to keep convincing you if you don’t believe it. Should we even get married, if that’s how you feel?”

Anna: Anna felt sick now, she was exhuasted and the women was freezing. Tears were falling down her face, and Anna’s head was beginning to hurt. “I didn’t say that, don’t put words into my mouth. I didn’t say that you wanted Behati or Katy or Anne.” She said quietly, while crying. “I love you so much, and I know that you only want me and I only want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She cried, and looked at him “I’m just scared about the whole kid thing, you’re not scared because you already have Dusty and I’m learning a few things but I’m still scared. Am I not allowed to be scared?” Anna questioned, and shook her head

Adam: Clearing his throat, Adam feels like his skin is burning while he’s standing there. His back is still turned, and he was freezing himself now because of the fact that he had given Anna his jacket so she wasn’t cold. He doesn’t say anything rather than just shaking his head, looking down at the grown with a frown. “I never said you weren’t allowed to be scared. You said not to put words in your mouth, so the same goes for you. Don’t put words in my mouth either.” He says. “You’re always allowed to be scared. That’s not the point I’m trying to get at. What is, is that you do this /all/ the time. I love you, and I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife…but a healthy marriage won’t consist of you always trying to…either compare yourself to Behati or compare our relationship to your relationship with Ben. You wanna know what pushes me away? That.”

Anna: Handing Adam his coat back, she could tell he was cold now himself. When he looks at the ground, and sees him frown the brunette took a breath. She hated that she did this, she hated that she got scared and starting comparing everything. It’s what Anna did with Ben, it’s what Anna did with Edgar. “I’m scared, and I’m sorry. I’m scared that if I am pregnant, then they’ll tell me something else that’s wrong. Like it’ll be a risky pregnancy or something. I’m terrified and I don’t know how…, being in there with 7 kids just overwhelmed me and I’m sorry.” Anna said quietly, and then looked at him “I don’t know why I compare, I just do. I’m insecure sometimes, and I’m.. I did this with Ben and Edgar and I pushed them away. I don’t want to push you away. I don’t. I love you so much, and I’m sorry that I’ve been comparing. I’m sorry. ” Anna walked closer to him, she rested her head on his chest and then looked up at him “I’m sorry.” Anna whispered, and tears were filling her eyes again. She kissed him softly, and just wanted to be held in his arms.

Adam: Taking his coat back, Adam doesn’t bother to put it back on. The leather slings in his arms and drops to his side, and as she’s speaking, he’s just letting out a small breath. Walking away from the doors to get back inside now, Adam instead moved to sit down on the steps outside there. Putting his jacket over his lap, he looks ahead of him. He doesn’t want to look at Anna just yet, because he doesn’t know what to say to her to possibly make any of this better right now. She had every right to feel the way that she did and he knew that, but he felt that anything else he would try or want to say in this moment, would be the wrong thing. “I would tell you that you can’t think like that, but you do. It really doesn’t matter what I say, which is fine. You’re a big girl, so I get it.” He clears his throat once more and then lets out another sigh. “I…I would be a really terrible fiance to tell you that you can’t feel the way that you do, especially with everything that we’ve gone through and continue to go through with this. I love you, Anna, and I’m here /because/ I love you. I wouldn’t ever leave you because I fell in love with you so fast that I don’t…I wouldn’t know where to…even start if we had broken up tomorrow and I got thrown back into dating again. I probably wouldn’t even date again, maybe not…at all, I don’t know. I just…I don’t…like hearing that you’d rather compare our relationship and the fact that I’m…I’m trying to give you what Ben couldn’t, that I’m trying to…be the best fiance to you so that it turns into me being the best /husband/, to you, because that’s what I want. Yeah–I wasn’t…I wasn’t the best husband to Behati but I /want/ to be the best husband to you, /for/ you.”

Anna: Watching him as Adam sat back down on the steps, the brunette folded her arms across her chest. Anna didn’t deserve him. The brunette knew that, but she also knew that he loved her more than anything and the women still couldn’t understand why. Taking a breath, Anna pushed her hair out of her face and swallowed the big lump that was in her throat. “It does matter what you say.” The actress whispered, and then looked at him. “I never said anything about us braking up, I don’t want to brake up at all. I’m just really scared, and I see the way that Jesse and Tara look at Hendrix and it, it scares me so much that I might not be able to give you that. You wont even consider adoption and i don’t…,” Stopping herself, Anna walked closer to him and held his face in her hands “You’re so /amazing/ with kids, and I just… I want that with you. I want a family with you, and I want to be your wife and I’m just scared that I won’t be any good at it.”

Adam: “I know you didn’t say anything about breaking up, Anna. I’m just…I’m saying, if…knock on wood that it ever happened, I wouldn’t…” He pauses for a few moments, because there’s a break and a pause in his voice. His voice is cracking again even, and it causes him to clear his throat again. “I wouldn’t even know where to start, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t to.” He continues to listen to her, and the frown across his lips only deepens as she mentions Jesse and Tara and how they are with their son. “I didn’t…say I wouldn’t consider adoption, I just…I want…” He sighs. “I don’t…I don’t know, Anna. I really don’t. You said that we could think about doing the IVF one more time, and maybe…maybe we should take a little bit of a break from it first and then figure out when we want to do another treatment. Maybe that will help, or…or something.” As she walks over to him and lifts his face into her hands, he’s forced to finally look at her and his eyes meet hers. “…I tell you all the time how much I love you for loving my daughter.” He whispers, “She…she adores you. She may not…be your biological daughter, but she’s…” He stops in his tracks, fearing that his next words would scare her even more. “…I think you’re going to be an amazing wife, Anna. Rather it had been me or if it hadn’t been me, anyone else if we weren’t together–anyone would be lucky to call you their wife, let alone their girlfriend.”

Anna: “It’s not.., I don’t want it to happen. I love you more than anything, and it terrifies me what I would do for you, you know?” Anna questioned, and then kissed him softly. He had to preform soon, and arguing with him isn’t something she wanted to be doing considering he’d been arguing with Behati this past week over their engagement. When his voice cracks,and he clears his throat Anna listens to him talk. Chewing her lips, the brunette sighed “I do want to try one more time with IVF, but maybe you’re right, maybe we need a brake from trying. Maybe that’s just it though, maybe we shouldn’t try so much. We should just, we should just let it happen and see. I still have that slim chance bub. I just.., ” Stopping herself, she shook her head “She’s going to be my step daughter” Anna whispered, and suddenly realized that herself, even though Aubrey has mentioned it to her once or twice. This was all becoming so real to Anna, and that’s why she was scared. Kissing him deeply, Anna cuddled onto him and had almost forgot they were sitting outside in the freezing cold. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I love you so much.”

Adam: “I know, Anna. It terrifies me too.” Of course it did. He fell in love with her too hard, too fast, after Behati, during his time with Behati even. He wasn’t stupid, he could at least admit that much. Letting out a small breath, Adam is trying to calm down now because he needs to get on stage soon. “Yeah, I…I don’t know, maybe it’ll help if we just…stop for a little while and then decide if we want to do another one later, after our appointment and after we see how it goes.” He says, “We can…obviously, sex isn’t off the table.” He teases, “We can…not focus so much on trying though.” Letting our a small breath, Adam wraps his arm around Anna. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but when he opens his mouth, he’s stopped by the door opening. When he sees Sharon as he turns his head, he tilts his eyebrow as she speaks. “Everything okay out here? Adam, the guys are getting ready to go on stage and they kinda need you.”

Anna: Listening to him speak, Anna let him wrap his arms around her and she just stayed there in his arms with her head up against his chest. Taking a breath, she could feel herself getting choked up again but the women didn’t want to cry anymore. Chewing her lips again, Anna closed her eyes for a few moments. Not saying anything else, the brunette stepped away and Anna looked up at Sharon. “You should go in, I’ll be in in a minute.” She whispered, and took a breath.

Adam: “You act like James can’t step up and sing for me.” Adam says, teasing. Sharon is looking between Adam and Anna, and she then chuckles at Adam’s words. “Yeah, that would work if James actually knew the words to the songs. Go inside, Adam.” Adam whines playfully as both Anna and Sharon tell him to go inside, and he kisses Anna’s cheek lightly. “You sure you’ll be in when you’re ready?”

Anna: When he kisses her cheek, Anna nodded her head and watched as he went back inside. Taking a deep breath, the brunette let the fresh air beat against her face. Trying not to think about tomorrow, Anna swallowed hard but then turned around about to walk in, to realize that Sharon was still standing there “I’m.., I’m sorry. I just.., needed some air.”

Adam: As Adam walks past Sharon to get inside again, Sharon watches him walk down the hall and back into the dressing room, before her attention turns back to Anna. Closing the door behind her, she nods. “Don’t be sorry, it happens. Are you…are you alright, though?”

Anna: Anna laughed nervously at the older women’s question, the brunette swallowed hard and nodded “I will be. They go on soon don’t they?”

&END 

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[michailantonio]

i was tagged by @jacksbutland! Legit havent done one of these in agessss so thankssss for the tag!! <33

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone Call: my sister literally just called me whilst making this.. she wanted to know if we had poppadoms at home lol

3. Text message: to my sister about fantasy pl… we love football.

4. Song you listened to: m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar

5. Time you cried: last night listening to some song :) (was a sad song but i love a good cry)

6. Dated someone twice: nahh dont think i’d ever go back to someone i once dated but who knows!

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: only once tbh which is good considering

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: dont think so, feeling low perhaps but nothing long-term

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: im never usually sick when I get drunk! although i was really ill when I was spiked in my first year at uni which was fucking horrible. I was lucky to get home.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12-14. burgundy, dark green and navy blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: countless!

16. Fallen out of love: nahhh

17. Laughed until you cried: definitely

18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably

19. Met someone who changed you: in a way everyone has an impact but i dont think i’ve changed too much!

20. Found out who your friends are: i always knew

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: a few

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them!

23. Do you have any pets: yep! Got a loooovely black cat called Mac :D

24. Do you want to change your name: nope

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I was working on my actual birthday but the day after i went to Brighton Pride which was incredible!!!

26. What time did you wake up: 6:25am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping lmao

28. Name something you can’t wait for: to go to Cambodia this November to work as a volunteer at a children’s centre for 5 weeks! Ganna be amazing!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning!

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish my relationship with my mum was better.. i wish i could tell her important personal things but i feel awks about it!

31. What are you listening to right now: erm nothing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: looooads

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the world tbh

34. Most visited website: probs tumblr, fb and youtube

35. Elementary: I hardly remember it but primary school was fun!

36. High School: yep i went to secondary school and then college for 2 years (before uni)

37. College: just finished university… time to do something with my degree yikes lol

38. Haircolor: light/normal brown?

39. Long or short hair: loooong as i havent cut it in nearly a year… i need to do that/

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope

41. What do you like about yourself: I like my sense of humour and outlook on life. Oh and my hair :)

42. Piercings: just the standard ears

43. Bloodtype: not a clue!

44. Nickname: some people call me Els or Ellie but I’m fine with Eleanor!

45. Relationship status: single

46. ??? if this is about my relationship status, im just living life tbh

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: game of thrones probs.. its the only one i watch!

49. Tattoos: not yet! I want to get one of a Fox though because its the family name!

50. Right or left: im right handed

51. Surgery: i’ve had stitches but no major surgery

52. Piercing: ears

53. Sport: is life. whilst my favourite sport to watch is football, my fav sport to play is lacrosse! I honestly looooove it :D

54. ??? same tbh

55. Vacation: not been on one this year yet! but my best friend wants to go to benidorm (lol) with me next year for some bants

56. Pair of trainers: i have some…

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: love popcorn

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: do nothing all evening other than eat

60. ??? yep

61. Waiting for: my summer job to finish so i can go back to doing fuck all

62. Want: to watch weekend football

63. Get married: not sure i want to, but definitely not yet

64. Career: well ive got a degree and now im a qualified OT sooo i better find a bloody job init

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: both

66. Lips or eyes: well eyes can be really pretty but lips are pretty amazing too

67. Shorter or taller: im only 5′1 so practically everyone’s taller

68. Older or younger: probs older

69. ??? i know

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms. love a good bicep.

71. Sensitive or loud: both

72. Hook up or relationship: atm hook up.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: many a time

75. Drank hard liquor: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nahhh dont wear glasses!

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: ..not always intentionally but sometimes it just happens, nothing wrong with it. #dealwithit

79. Broken someones heart: hope not!

80. Had your heart broken: nope

81. Been arrested: nah

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: sadly yes but they never found out and im waaayyy over it so its cool!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: YES. im my own cheerleader tbh

85. Miracles: nah

86. Love at first sight: not really

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss in the first date: totally! doesnt have to happen but sure!

89. Angels: nope

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Lauren. I’ve known her for 17 or so years (fuck that is long)

91. Eyecolor: to quote my bestfriend, my eyes are “the colour of the brown colouring pencil no one uses.” thanks lauren.

92. Favorite movie: fuck knows tbh! I have looooads!

i’m tagging @ander-herrera, @harryswinks, @jordanshenderson, @thiagosalcantaras, @tiny-red-dancer, @stevenbirnbaum, @lunarks, @jacksannie, @leivangel aaaand anyone else if you wanna!

[thoselazers]

A letter to my lover.

It’s been about 3 months since I last saw you. And honestly, its been 3 months too long. Yes I know there are other couples out there who don’t get to see each other sometimes at all for years but...dare i say that our love is different from all the others out there. What we have is special. I could be cliche and say we have that Jay Z and Beyonce kind of love but personally I think its a bit overused. I’d probably be more inclined to say we have that Kendrick and Whitney kinda love. (If you dont know who they are, thats the point).

See, I’ve known for a long time that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I suppose in this time of being in two different countries brings alot of growing that needs to take place. Learning to behave myself even though you’re not here. How to turn down hangouts with the boys sometimes because you miss my company. And truth be told, I miss you too so I would’ve asked if you wanted to facetime anyway. How there’s moments when I can feel your lips on mine for a split second, smell your scent in the air and it just makes me reminisce on the moments I held you so close to me that I truly felt like one with you.

I need you by my side. No matter what I have to do, no matter what oceans i have to cross, friends I have to cut off, hangouts i have to decline because I’d much rather be talking to you. Even when we get mad and we barely talk someone has to break the ice and just clear the air about things and we get back to our usual selves. I low key love our make ups. So whatever it takes, I will be by your side. I will never leave you. I will always want you. I will always be your best friend, your lover, your biggest supporter, your #1 cheerleader, and hopefully your future husband.

I love you Jo.

[jojuarez26]

When love isn't enough:Fine lines

Mature content and strong language Divergent fanfiction: Eric/OC @pathybo @tigpooh67 @ljvosscmt @beautifulramblingbrains @beltz2016 @clublulu333 @angolodiparadiso @frecklefaceb @jackiefreakqueen @scorpio2009 @ariwolff14 @ericdauntless @dani5102 @randomness-ensues @glamlover87 @james-k-delaney @sparklemichele @singingpeople @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @muffinmano @mom2reesie "It's entirely to early for this shit," I mumble to myself as I make my way to the pit at the ass crack of dawn. "Little Bit WAKE UP!! And I quote from your uncle. Tell her to come control her men I am off the clock. They're in the pit. Good luck baby. Love you I have to go." This was my wake up call. Damn idiots. What the hell they even find to fight about all the time is beyond me. As I get close I hear the testosterone filled shout float down the hall as they battle for alpha male dominance. War games were last night so I know natural emotions are running high. I stay back out of sight to listen first. I need to know who's ass I am jumping. I usually always cut into Eric first. However Amar told me I need to start listening first, apparently it's not always him who is the antagonist. "So are fellow initiates on your hit list now Erudite? You damn near took Paul out. He is ranked third. Are you scared Eric?" what the hell is Tobias's problem? "It was a fucking accident Four. Let the shit go!" Eric just sounds tired and exasperated. "You know like it was an accident you choke the shit out of Aleisia." Tobias growled. "Four I am fucking warning you for the LAST time. Let.it.go!!" I can hear Eric's self restraint fading fast. "Are you going to turn her into the next Hazel," Tobias spat it out like poison he needed out of his system. "That's a fuckingnuff Four!! What in the hell is your problem?!" I had come out as I had heard enough. He just crossed a fine line. Eric was poised to strike until he seen me. His fist were still clenched and his nostrils flared, but he stayed planted where he stood. "Four have you lost your mind?" I stood tall and folded my arms over my chest. "I could ask you the same thing. Is he threatening you? Forcing you? What changed? You never wanted to be with this asshole," Tobias sounded disgusted. "Are you jealous because you didn't get the girl? You know I am use to Eric's antics, I actually anticipate them. But you? What is going on. Some of the shit you just said is low even for Eric's standards. At least I understand him." "He has brainwashed you. Because of him eventually you'll end up dead." I heard Eric shift behind me. "Fuck you TOBIAS EATON!! Jack ass is not a good look on you. It's beneath you. Stay away from me, don't fucking talk to Eric and pull the self righteous stick out of your ass!!" I am livid. I spun around on my heels and motioned for Eric to start walking. He shook his head. That was a mistake on his part. "I know you don't seriously think I am leaving you to your own devices down here. Let's go," I stated with authority. He narrowed his eyes at me with anger burning bright. Nonetheless he still turned and started walking in the direction of the apartment. We made our way home in silence a few feet apart. History proved that when Eric was this infuriated it was for the best. It kept me out of the cross hairs of his temper. He unlocked the door with the key he now possessed and stalked straight to the bathroom slamming the door. He was still covered in paint from war games. I went to the bedroom and pulled out sweatpants and fresh boxer for him. We had went and bought clothes for him to keep here. I grabbed a towel and slowly opened the bathroom door. I set his things on the counter and turned to leave but stopped abruptly when I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but admire the sight in front of me. His back was turned to me, he was leaning with his head on the tiles as water flowed down his body like the chasm. His back was taunt with solid muscle, ass tone and looking like you could bounce a coin off it. I felt desire pool in me. It took all my will power to quietly leave and let him unwind. After taking a moment to catch my breath I decided to make some breakfast. I found myself lost in my thoughts and humming. Life was starting to feel domesticated. I never had a want for this after Kendrick. Now I found myself wanting it all with Eric. The scrapping of the chair across the floor pulled me from my thoughts. Why did he have to be so damn sexy? He sat down with just his sweatpants hung low on his waist. Little beads of water still on his broad shoulders. Fuck I need a cold shower. He smiled and raised an eyebrow at me indicating he knew I was eye fucking him. I felt the heat of my blush creep into my cheeks. Mentally slapping myself I put the plate of food in front of him. With reflexes quick as a snake coiling to strike he grabbed me pulling me to sit in his lap. He buried his face in my neck and just let out a out a quiet hum. "I'm sorry," I blurted out without thinking. He sat up straight with a confused look on his face. "For what?" he asked cautiously. "For stepping over you and inserting myself between you and Four." I felt like I had crossed an invisible line of respect. "Dont be. It was for the better of the situation. Besides watching you take charge and put the Stiff in his place was fucking sexy as hell." he leaned forward melting his lips to mine in s mind numbing kiss. This was going to get carried away. I slowly put a hault to the kiss putting my hands on his chest for space. "Less than a week," he got a devious smirk on his face. "Speaking of, have you thought about if you want to live here permanently with us after initiation?" I hadn't anticipated the anxiety that crept up on me asking that question. "Sweetheart, there is no place else in Chicago I would rather be. As long as I'm with you I will be content anywhere." a small frown crossed his face. "Did you honestly for one minute doubt that here with you is were I want to be?" a wounded look flickered in his eyes. "Yes and no. I know you enjoy being here and we are moving to the next level of our relationship. I just thought maybe you wanted some space to be on your own to experience Dauntless first." I didn't even notice my voice had grown soft. "Aleisia, I have lived in isolation for the last four years. You have made me happier and content more than I have ever been in my life. Right here by your side is the only place for me to be." A flood of emotions flooded over me. I couldn't control the tears that started to roll down my cheeks. He kissed the tears off my cheeks. He looked like he wanted to speak but couldn't find the words. He placed his forehead on mine and drew in a deep breath. "I never thought I could or would want to care for anyone other than Audi. It wasn't logical to me. Then one day I started watching you watching me. I knew you were going to be the one for me." "We have a long hard dangerous road ahead of us. It scares the shit out of me that I am dragging you down this road with me. But I can't let you go. I tried. There isn't another person alive besides Audi that I trust or would want by my side." his eyes were starring right into the depths of my soul. I'm not sure how this is all going to end or if we will even make it out alive with what we are preparing to do in the next two years. But I realized in this moment that as long as we are in it together, I'm not afraid of the out come. Life as we know it was never going to be the same.

[meganambers]

It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Born Dominique Deshun Harris, the 26-year-old rapper recently released his latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” in April and as he prepares for the birth of his new son, he sat down with me and shared his musical influences, his plans for 2018 and why he feels the current music scene is “like Sheep as long as its ignorant“.

Who do you credit as the influence behind your music?

My influences in music have a very wide range. I was raised under 6 Brothers & Sisters so my music taste is wise beyond my years. Not in any specific order but, my Pops, He used to be a DJ when he got out the military and kept us on everything since birth from the 50’s to the early 2000’s. Because of my old man, I am never out of tune at any function no matter the age. I can vibe with anyone on anything cause of my dad.

My mother is a major influence on me, she’s from Louisiana and has an ear and voice for music. But beyond that, she is the real reason I started rapping. It may have been around my 18th birthday and was having trouble understanding a few things and controlling my frustrations; so she bought me a [writing] pad and told me started writing and from there she planted a seed that helped me grow into the artist I am today. My Brother Damien, who is also a rapper, showed me early on how to be a lyricist and paint pictures in my music. My wife Dionna I write the best music when we have our growing pains, and she keeps me motivated to stick to my music and never change up!

  What hip-hop albums would you consider pivotal to your career?

Man, That is tough. I grew up on it all, but ones that really made an imprint on me as a kid had to be; Dr. Dre’s Chronic Album, Geto Boys’ My Mind Playing Tricks On Me, Chamillionaire’s Mix Tape Messiah, LL Cool J’s Bad Album, Lil Wayne’s Carter 1-3,

Kanye West’s Graduation, Wiz Khalifa’s Kush & Orange Juice, Kid Cudi’s Man On The Moon, Big Sean’s Finally Famous 3, and so many more. I could go all day, but this is just a few albums that really had a major impact on me coming up! But I like pretty much everything, I am from the south so like all of SUC ( Srewed Up Click) music I was raised on all the of the 3rd music. I’m going just say [Houston] as an album too, from the 90s to the early 2000s I kept them on repeat every day. When I was coming up I couldn’t you the name of some albums, people use to “bootlegs” of a lot of my fave artist albums and I could never go off what the seller marked it as I just knew one of my favorite artists has some new soul out and I need it!

  When did you write your first song and what was it about?

Shoot, I started rapping at 9 years old and back then it was all just a lot of long verses, no context, hook or anything just a paper with “Babylon” type verses. (Laugh) So technically I started rapping in August of 2017 and It was after a real break up with my wife, Dionna. I had just moved back to Dallas from Alpine, Tx ( Shout out Alpine & Sul Ross State, Those my people) and we had a really bad break up. It seemed like there was no coming back from it. Everything around me stopped making sense, my basketball career had become stagnated and to be honest I was looking for love in all the wrong places. On top of that, I was also coming out of a group I was in called “2 Doms R Better Than 1”, but that’s another story. So it just seemed like nothing was working, and the entire time I kept trying to hide my love and ability in music. But as more situations hit me, the better the lyrics in my head were and then one day I couldn’t hide it anymore. I sat down threw on R.Kelly’s “When a Woman’s Fed Up,” rolled a few packs of Blue Optimos and came up with the track, “VICTIM”. 

  Who do you see yourself working with as an artist and producer?

Out the gate I have to say, Lyfe Jennings, Miguel, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Kevin Gates, Erykah Badu, India Arie, Wiz [Khalifa], Curren$y, Mo3, Yella Beezy, & Post Malone are some of the artists would love to collab with. However, I can’t leave out Chris Brown, K Camp or Drake. As for producers, I would have to say The Dream, Metro Booming, Sledgron, Skee Beats, Zaytoven, T-Pain, No ID, and Kanye West. I would lose my absolute mind in the dojo with these guys. Just to hear some of the knowledge and stories of how this industry can make and break you is a privilege in itself. 

  Tell me about your latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, and what inspired it?

My latest release project “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, was released on April 20th. This tape is one for everyday things we see and have to deal with. I am a proper 90’s baby, I was raised on good classic movies about us like, “Colors”, “Menace II Society”, “Boyz N Da Hood”, “Juice,” etc., and by looking at this list and reading my title “Hood Movies” you can see a lot of these are blockbusters and far from “Hood or Low Budget” Movies. I was iterating to the subject and content of those movies about being from the “hood”. It also shows how your circumstance isn’t always forever, it can always be better and as “Man Of your Word” stand on what you believe in! The “Kartoonz” part is self-explanatory, unlike nowadays coming up our cartoons back then had a message every episode, showed you how you can be an everyday hero and believe in you. Little things like that, so that had a major impact on what raised me. “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” is just that giving you who I am in eighteen songs. Just taking you back to the good old days without all the “B**ches & H*es”. But real music! The producers for this one varied from B. Young, Kil’Lab Music, Fly Boi_DBone, RealNDaFields, Jia Beats and Mingo Gomez.  I wanted to work with a solid foundation of producers that work just as hard in the craft like me. 

Well, as of right now, I am currently in the works of releasing three tapes at the end of July. “Summer Of 65‘” produced By Lu.B Music, “91 Made Me” by produced By YB Beats and “Digital Dope” produced by Mingo Gomez. Each tape has its own producer. The three tapes are collaboration tapes between me and my producers with all original beats that they make themselves. I have no set release dates but they all will be available by the end of July 2018 on all digital platforms. 

  How important is the idea of connecting with other musicians to you? And how do you believe someone should utilize their connects? 

Networking is the key to everything, cause, unfortunately, you can be GREAT at something and never get a chance. But to know someone that knows someone who can pull strings and make life for you a walk in the park or take you to the next level is great. Utilizing the connections is crucial and lucrative in becoming someone in the industry. You have to keep that connection alive. Most people will get a number and never use it or wait until they need something. NO NO NO! You hit them on the regular and see if you can help them or even just ask how things are going. Connections can take you around the world twice, without spending a dime. Just gotta know how to maneuver.

  How would you describe your writing process?

I am a machine! I never stop writing and my process is unorthodox, spontaneous and just downright SMOKING FIRE! I am into writing as far as poems, plans or notes so writing isn’t the hard part, but what I found difficult was learning how to control my thoughts, how to make them tell a story and stay on beat.. can be absolutely BRUTAL! But I am a workhorse, and once my heart is made up, in my mind I am unstoppable. I BECAME A MONSTER.  Now my process consists of creating the hook and making a song. I also use Instagram as an open gym for practice.

  What is your thought about the current state of the Hip-hop game?

It’s absolute bullshit for those that would enjoy my kind of music. If you aren’t talking about guns, jewelry, women, drugs, and ignorant stuff, your music gets pushed away or skipped. I ain’t knocking any of those artists out there that rap about it, that’s them, it’s what they know and I support it. But I can’t cap that to catch a wave or make a fan. I was raised around real gangsters, and I was brought up as a gentleman. In my line of business, those lyrics are for the FEDS and people you don’t need knowing your business, and besides, I want to rap about me, life, love, memories and occasionally weed. But today’s music scene is like “Sheep,” as long as it’s ignorant and they see someone else liking it they will all run to it. But that’s all the way gravy, it’s a process and the longer the drive, the longer the run will be. I’m quiet, patient and supportive. Hating will get you nowhere.

  What would you like for the readers to know about you?

I’m human, I can only give it to you how I see it and believe it. I’m old school and really laid back. I was raised a winner and I’ am a man before ANYTHING. My music is me standing in front of a mirror revealing me just as much as its reflecting. 

  What advice would you give to young musicians in the game?

Enjoy being unknown, because as soon as you become hot, they [record label execs] will be quick to label you with a style, or a sound without fully given you a chance to blossom and be versatile. BE YOURSELF IN YOUR MUSIC because as soon as you lose who you are, your music will become typical. Going unnoticed doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t or won’t make it. Timing is everything, just stay ready, keep working and believe that your days are coming. FUCK THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS. YOU ARE HARDER TO IGNORE WHEN YOU DONT ASK FOR PERMISSION. 

  What are your plans as a musician for 2018?

Since I am still a new artist I want to make that a strong point of my path to being signed. I plan on building a HUGE catalog of QUALITY MUSIC towards potential radio singles, visuals and eventually put a real album together before the end of 2018. I also plan on making the Freshman XXL list by the summer, having a 1000 youtube subscribers, and at least 2 Hit singles. I want a lot but I’ve learned pace & patience can take you far if you really want it! So I’m deep in the process and enjoying the ups and downs of the learning process to make it in this industry. My son will also be born Sept 12, 2018, so I am really enjoying that next step of my life. I’m excited! He’s gonna be a Jr! Our Little Baby Shiik, well his mom calls him Biscuit, make sure I add that or she liable to punch me. (Laughs) To sum it up really create a wave, and open doors for my family, my team, and I to exceed expectations in life while we can! 

Make sure to follow SHIIK on his Instagram and Twitter and Soundcloud for more updates.

Datpiff (The Thooka Tape)

Datpiff: (KartoonzNHoodMovies)

Google Play: bit.ly/GooglePlayB-Rhye

Up-And-Coming Artist: SHIIK It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn't be further from the truth.

[brothalynchhung]

2017 overview

FOR FUCKS SAKEEE IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 5 YEARS LMFAOOOO anyways lets goo... this gone be a lot i learned a lot this year

the year started out...

kinda weird tbh like i was in a weird state

i was back to being obsessed following jk/gl lool

it was nice but i got to hopelessly obsessed

but they came back and it really motivated me it made me happy

hes so comforting until this day

he earned so much!! achieved so much! I'm so happy for him

i gained a lot this year too .. in a way

yeah 2017 was weird introspectively...

lot of internal rebuilding...

i did video 1 which was fun i got to make some cool shit and work hard on projects

i met my girl xy lol her talented ass

ate out a lot tbh i was a fatass beginning of 2017 wtf

still am tho wtf who am i kidding 🙄🙄🙄

jus classes with z as usual but winter 2017 was so weird cuz like.. i barely went to any of those classes LOL

video 1 was fun

adv com theories was ass idk how i got a B+ in that class i failed everything LMFAOO

phi was whatever

women and media was weird cuz of that weird girl but we got a good mark so whatever

quantitative LMFAOOO fuck that class and that bitch ass prof i didnt learn shit

other than that personally...i was going through some mental shit.. i felt alone. i felt out of it. i felt regretful

i felt so regretful i felt like shit

i fell into such a nostalgic moment like i just missed everything

jk kinda reminded me of like.. how i was? happy? in 2016 i kinda of left everything and secluded myself in a weird way other than fighting with ayt/mh on some bullshit i just was out of it.. i was chilling with weirdos lol

i was thinking like.. i miss how it is??? I'm not that different? i like all the people from my past why are we not that close

spring day came out.. that hit it. bullseye. 

childish gambinooo....

just really looking back, looking back on who i AM who I WANT to be truly. who i really want to be around and create

i valued my friendships

i was super creative... working on my book, investing in artistic pursuits.. 

i wanted to recreate everything i lost, i wanted to reclaim my trauma with that bitch.

i got to spend fun times with my friends, running around train tracks becoming closer again like how it should have been all along

jk had me looking forward to leaving to dubai

and so i did. 

i tried chasing him there but it didnt really work out

its not really meant to be sr...

he's just an inspiration for what you want and for who u are

the whole groups a blessing lol

even tho i left that shit cuz it got too much and too weird why bitches gotta make shit mediocre🙄

anyways dubai was kinda ass but i got to realize something important... who i miss, who i wanted/wished were with me, who actually cares about me..

WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME

yo sr... if someone really cares.. they'll take the effort. STOP chasing people who don't care.. STOP damaging yourself and the people who love u for people who don't give a fuck

i dropped that bitch so hard i hope she fucking rots in hell

2017 . APRIL 2017 LAST TIME EVER I WILL EVER SEE THIS BITCH. NEVER AGAIN.

my life got so much better.

dubai was a detox but after i came back it was so good

hot as fuck

ramadan lol

fat as fuck -_-

dubai was just weird lol kinda realized its not my place but it was nice(ish)

need to learn not to rely so much on material shit lol

my family is the best

they really tryna teach u and care for u, u will never have another family.

also met nr!!! she was sweet kinda weird tho lMAO the cat shit jesus lol 

misk lol

WENT TO LONDON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED IT

but fuck... lmao u know what the fuck u did yesterday -_- u DUMB bitch lmao who cares tho (...>_>)

came back... greeted by my friends who care 

chilled with them, adventures with them

but came back.. sorry. sorry to myself. sorry to the people i hurt

ayt, mh

i was thinking about it since winter i knew i had to make it right again, i knew i was wrong, that fucking bitch fucked shit up for us, we could have had so much memories in 2016 if shit didnt go sour

i gave the wrong person another chance they didnt deserve

so i reflected.. and swallowed my fucking pride

apologized. to who i needed to

and u know what? we good. like it was never bad. we good

...thats real. no flop shit, no fake shit, we good. loyalty. blessed.

u really gave the wrong bitch another chance u real did

stupid ass

then it was good.. adventures with my friends, rebuilding, forgetting, growing

together.

beach!! hiking!! badminton in the middle of the streets singing backstreet boys!! lol music!! 

KENDRICK LAMARRR

i made friends w ht again amazing lol

really remade friends w a lot of people lol

kendrick was so good tho fuck he was amazing my eyes were tearing/shining i cried like 5 times LOVE.. PRIDE. fuck those got to me

my ass saw get low live?? by YG fuck i love him too 

best night

amusement parks x3.. lol mtl with my fams..

yo me and lina got so close

i love my family. always.

NTCCCLMAOOOO 

they gave me so much hope after i dropped stb cuz or their weird ass fandom.. i couldn't deal with that shit they're ruining my damn nostalgia. but whatever I'm not gon hate on their success.. jk is still jk to me i hope he reaches the stars with his success

but yeah damn ntc made everything sooo good damn how u not have 1 dime but like 8 LMAO in one group

literally lights of my lifeee

jn😤jh😤hc🍅😩m😤jn😭jm😭WTF BITCH so much possibilities tf

love them they made me so happy

also their fandom is so funnny love the bitches i been following and talking to

anyways i saved up my money a lot but now its like all gone cuz nadas work so idk

UHMMMM I BOUGHT MMM??? WTF BITCH WTF

I WIN IDC I WIN fuck all these bitches

glow up glow the FUCK up

lost a lil weight.. probably gained it all back idk fuck me -.-

since fall 2017.. i been happy.. i got my friends..my groups..

rm, mc, ys💘 

nz,suz,lul,mar💖

prgl,sr,joan💞

hct!

nm💗

ayt

zainb,rame

xiny, jelly

and more...

hearts 4 all I'm just lazy lol

nice to have friends, nice to know there are people who actually like u and care for u and are fun to hang with, nice to know people like u for who u really are unconditionally 

nice to know bitches i hate will never NEVER have that

stay lonely pitiful boring unsuccessful and fake . 

priorities straight. emptying out ugly shit, rebuilding myself and who i am. having fun, fixing my look. investing

music music music GOOD MUSIC

movies movies movies

books books books

those 3 things will never change

unbrainwashing myself

realized so much shit.. istg my glow up is associated with freeing my mind from all this bullshit...

RATHER BE PROUD OF WHO I AM RATHER THAN TRY TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT JUST TO FIT INTO SOME LOWKEY RACIST UGLY BORING BULLSHIT

crazy how deep into my coma i was

BITCH IM BACK OUT OF MY COMA

going forward.. going forward.. investing.. changing... 

mentality shifting.. my image of diserable.. who i want to be 

better important goals, fun goals, fun shit, cool shit, new shit

destroying the fuck bitches who tried to kill me

bunch of fucking losers. 

I'm better now I'm happy now i ended 2017 happy as fuck

i DONT have my gl but i don't need him rn. I'm loved. i love me. my family and friends got me. so until i act on some long awaited shit and gain more resources and achieve more personally UNTIL I'm ready and deserve some shit. then ill get gl. I'm going towards him. 

you're with me.. even when you're away.

hope u feel all this happiness too, hope you're warm, hope you know I'm not where u are right now and hope ur working your way towards me too

ill meet u in the warm .

happy. i spent many nights happy no fights no drama no sadness (other than not having gl i get hopeless being in love with someone i don't know yet but i cant help it)

soon tho dw.. it 2018 now lol

anyways!! i grew so much in 2017 I'm back to who i really am I'm motivated I'm happy I'm inspired I'm ready for the next year

i ended this year losing my bitch ass acne studios scarf!! like a dumb bitch!! so I'm still a dumb bitch!! but who cares -.-

need so stop buying dumb shit.. ill get the trousers when i get a job and the fucking scarf won't matter.. yo ass don't even like scarfs wtf -_-

lool see this optimistic dgaf mentality.. 

CAASH DONT LAST MY FRIENDS WILL RIDE FOR ME

and thats exactly what we did tonight, dance and sing to disney hits and sean paul . happy and careless af 

I GOTTED WHAT I WANTED RIGHT NOWWW 

GOD DOES IT FEEL SO GOOOOD

2018 lets fucking go. I'm ready . I'm going to make so much shit. I'm out my coma, i know what the fuck i want . no more dumb shit, we do dis. LETS FUCKING GOOOO.

[amazingviralinfo]

Wests life and music have combined into an ongoing piece of performance art one that appears unsustainable at this pitch

In an era when the likes of Beyoncé can release perfectly formed records without warning, the saga of Kanye Wests seventh album has been comically messy. He first announced it a year ago, under the name So Help Me God, but postponed its release by several months while renaming it Swish, Waves and, finally, The Life of Pablo.

In the weeks prior to its grandiloquent live-streamed launch at Madison Square Garden on Thursday an album playback featuring celebrity guests and an army of black models debuting Wests latest Yeezy fashion line he posted a series of perplexingly self-destructive tweets on topics including his ex-girlfriend Amber Rose and Bill Cosby. Even for a man who clearly subscribes to Oscar Wildes dictum, There is only thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about, it was a bizarre display.

West, 38, is arguably the most important pop artist of his era and certainly the most compelling, for good or ill. He speaks, and indeed acts, in superlatives. In recent years he has described himself, not always entirely seriously, as the greatest living rock star on the planet, the new Steve Jobs, a potential US president and, simply, the nucleus. Inevitably, he inspires extreme reactions.

When he was booked for last years Glastonbury festival, more than 130,000 people signed a petition calling for an insult to music fans all over the world to be dropped. The vehemence of such attacks on an apologetically outspoken black man doubtless had a racist dimension but that alone does not explain why the rapper is such a uniquely polarising figure.

West was brought up to achieve great things. Born in Atlanta, Georgia, but raised in Chicago by his mother, Donda, an academic, he was given the name Kanye meaning only one Omari wise man and she taught him above all to love himself. In her memoir Raising Kanye, Donda wrote that West inherited from his father Ray, a former member of the Black Panther party, little patience for what he thinks is unjust. Wests kindergarten teacher said to Donda: Kanye certainly doesnt have any problem with self-esteem, does he?

That dude was focused since he was a shorty because he knew what he wanted to do and he had a mother who supported the shit out of him, his friend and fellow rapper GLC once told Complex magazine.

Kanye West in 2004. Photograph: Frank Micelotta/Getty Images

After enrolling at art college in 1997, West dropped out to pursue production work for the likes of Jay Z, with a signature sound based on accelerated soul samples, and then fought doggedly to be taken seriously as a rapper.

I realised that he was going to make it happen and he didnt mind being an asshole, Damon Dash, Jay Zs partner in Roc-A-Fella Records, told Complex. If you dont mind being an asshole, youre not going to lose. He wasnt scared, he had gall. A decade later, West told the New York Times: I knew I was going to make it this far; I knew that this was going to happen.

In October 2002, West was involved in a car crash that shattered his jaw and changed his life. He was convinced that God had saved his life and that he needed to write more profound lyrics. He described this epiphany in his 2003 single Through the Wire: a superheros origin story in which he emerges from a life-threatening accident stronger than ever. I knew I was dealing with a different human being after the accident, his managerGee Roberson told Complex. From that day forth, it was game on.

Unlike his mentor Jay Z, the middle-class West couldnt draw on a violent, hardscrabble youth for credibility so he had to create his own drama, trumpeting his talent and ambition to a degree that was unusual even by hip-hops self-aggrandising standards.

Im the closest that hip-hop is getting to God, he told journalists at an album playback in 2005. Talking to the Guardian afterwards, he described his florid braggadocio as both a form of self-motivation and a theatrical performance. Its like Im walking on this tightrope. Its like, damn, what if he falls? And if I do make it, its like, damn, he made it! But either way youre saying damn. Everybody else is just walking on the ground.

West backed up his rhetoric by constantly redefining what hip-hop could be. The College Dropout (2004) bridged the gulf between mainstream rappers and socially conscious underground MCs. The lavish Late Registration (2005) was co-produced by thefilm score composer Jon Brion. The Daft Punk-sampling, Nietzsche-quoting hit Stronger, from Graduation (2007), began hip-hops lucrative liaison with EDM. Most of its current stars, including Drake and Kendrick Lamar, walked through doors that West opened.

West is a tireless enthusiast with constantly expanding tastes and an ear for whats next. He has been adept at choosing collaborators, from big names such as Rihanna and Daft Punk to up-and-comers such as Arca and Kid Cudi, and taking inspiration from fashion, cinema, architecture and visual art. He is a famous perfectionist who claimed to have mixed his single Stronger 75 times before he was satisfied.

Logic would seemingly state that an album with so many people working on it would sound disjointed, but what Kanye manages to do is get the best out of everyone working towards one sound, the producer Evian Christ told Pitchfork in 2013. You cant really overstate how difficult it is to do that.

West is also an unpredictable lyricist who is equally capable of self-aware jokes, crass, misogynist punchlines and eloquent examinations of race and class. Early in his career, he spoke out against homophobia in hip-hop and blurted out George Bush doesnt care about black people during a telethon for victims of Hurricane Katrina, although he has only sporadically engaged with politics since. He is often at his best when he is being inappropriate. (Five years later, Bush called the incident the all-time low of his presidency.)

Wests behaviour changed dramatically after Donda Wests death in November 2007, from heart disease. He rarely talks about the loss but last year told Q that he blamed himself: If I had never moved to LA shed be alive. West became a more haunted and guarded figure, returning to music with 808s & Heartbreak (2008), a brave, introspective album that featured more Auto-Tuned singing than rapping and paved the way for Drake and The Weeknd.

Kanye West takes the microphone from Taylor Swift as she accepts her award during the MTV VMAs in 2009. Photograph: Jason DeCrow/Associated Press

The loss of his mother invited sympathy but the next turning point in Wests life inspired fury and derision. In 2009, he interrupted Taylor Swifts acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards, bringing to the boil a long-simmering backlash. (West ungallantly references the incident on his new song Famous.) He retreated to his bunker if Hawaii can be called a bunker and made his decadent epic My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010) with a legion of collaborators including Nicki Minaj, Bon Iver and Elton John. He later described it as a long backhanded apology.

In recent years, Wests ambition has become both grander and more diffuse. During interviews and concerts to promote Yeezus (2013), an audaciously abrasive electro-punk primal scream that he called a protest to music, he delivered long, furious monologues about his struggle to break into the fashion industry.

He increasingly seems more interested in clothes than in music Right now, over 70% of my focus is on apparel, he told Paper magazine and much more besides. He has compared himself to such world-changing figures as Picasso and Walt Disney, befriended the tech stargazer Elon Musk, and talked about his ambition to inspire an army of risk-taking cultural soldiers. You can see the growth from Im gonna be this great artist to I wanna do something that ignites a fire in peoples souls, he told Q.

However much credit West gets, it is never enough. In a 2013 interview he compared his critics to the eight-grade basketball coach who would not include him in the team even though he hit every shot. The next year, he made the team. West is driven by the desire to prove his doubters wrong, and fired up by his previous ability to do so.

While most high-profile artists accept that they cannot please everybody, West craves approval from establishment institutions that he appears to hate, from the Grammy awards to European fashion houses, as a point of principle. I dont care about the Grammys, he told the New York Times. I just would like for the statistics to be more accurate.

It is unclear what will happen when West can no longer hit every shot. The singles he released last year, including collaborations with Paul McCartney, were coolly received. His Glastonbury performance promised to be either a triumph or a disaster but, most reviewers agreed, fell somewhere in-between. Pitchforks Jayson Greene wrote: He is responsible for the current zeitgeist, but listening to his slightly confused new material, you get the distinct sense that hes struggling to find his current footing in it.

Reading Wests recent tweets, it is impossible to work out exactly what he is trying to achieve. He is clearly a more volatile and erratic character than he used to be. Marriage and fatherhood are often stabilising influences but marrying Kim Kardashian in 2014 has pitched West into a tabloid world with an endless appetite for gossip. It is unlikely that he could retreat from the spotlight, as he did in 2009, even if he wanted to.

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Kanye West releases album and fashion collection at Madison Square Garden

His life and music have combined into an ongoing piece of performance art which is unsustainable at this pitch. No artist can remain the nucleus of pop culture indefinitely. One day, this extraordinarily successful figure will face the new challenge of learning to cope with no longer being the man everyone is talking about.

Potted profile

Born: Kanye Omari West, on 8 June 1977 in Atlanta, Georgia

Career: Began producing music for local Chicago rappers in his teens and landed his first high-profile job in 1999. Launched his solo career with The College Dropout in 2004. Has released six platinum albums, won 21 Grammy awards, designed several clothing lines, and featured twice on the Time 100 list of the most influential people in the world. Runs the record label Good Music and the creative content company Donda.

High point: Bouncing back with his magnum opus My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy in 2010 after his snafu at the Video Music Awards temporarily derailed his career: even Barack Obama called him a jackass. In December 2014, Pitchfork named it the best album of the decade so far.

Low point: The death of his mother in 2007, soon followed by his split from fiancee Alexis Phifer.

What he says: I will die for the art, for what I believe in, and the art aint always going to be polite.

What they say: Hes a brilliant madman. He cant help himself. Like, he doesnt have the same filters other people have. He has to blurt things out hes always saying inappropriate stuff. But he also has brilliant ideas, if you can get him to pay attention long enough Madonna.

[meganambers]

It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Born Dominique Deshun Harris, the 26-year-old rapper recently released his latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” in April and as he prepares for the birth of his new son, he sat down with me and shared his musical influences, his plans for 2018 and why he feels the current music scene is “like Sheep as long as its ignorant“.

Who do you credit as the influence behind your music?

My influences in music have a very wide range. I was raised under 6 Brothers & Sisters so my music taste is wise beyond my years. Not in any specific order but, my Pops, He used to be a DJ when he got out the military and kept us on everything since birth from the 50’s to the early 2000’s. Because of my old man, I am never out of tune at any function no matter the age. I can vibe with anyone on anything cause of my dad.

My mother is a major influence on me, she’s from Louisiana and has an ear and voice for music. But beyond that, she is the real reason I started rapping. It may have been around my 18th birthday and was having trouble understanding a few things and controlling my frustrations; so she bought me a [writing] pad and told me started writing and from there she planted a seed that helped me grow into the artist I am today. My Brother Damien, who is also a rapper, showed me early on how to be a lyricist and paint pictures in my music. My wife Dionna I write the best music when we have our growing pains, and she keeps me motivated to stick to my music and never change up!

  What hip-hop albums would you consider pivotal to your career?

Man, That is tough. I grew up on it all, but ones that really made an imprint on me as a kid had to be; Dr. Dre’s Chronic Album, Geto Boys’ My Mind Playing Tricks On Me, Chamillionaire’s Mix Tape Messiah, LL Cool J’s Bad Album, Lil Wayne’s Carter 1-3,

Kanye West’s Graduation, Wiz Khalifa’s Kush & Orange Juice, Kid Cudi’s Man On The Moon, Big Sean’s Finally Famous 3, and so many more. I could go all day, but this is just a few albums that really had a major impact on me coming up! But I like pretty much everything, I am from the south so like all of SUC ( Srewed Up Click) music I was raised on all the of the 3rd music. I’m going just say [Houston] as an album too, from the 90s to the early 2000s I kept them on repeat every day. When I was coming up I couldn’t you the name of some albums, people use to “bootlegs” of a lot of my fave artist albums and I could never go off what the seller marked it as I just knew one of my favorite artists has some new soul out and I need it!

  When did you write your first song and what was it about?

Shoot, I started rapping at 9 years old and back then it was all just a lot of long verses, no context, hook or anything just a paper with “Babylon” type verses. (Laugh) So technically I started rapping in August of 2017 and It was after a real break up with my wife, Dionna. I had just moved back to Dallas from Alpine, Tx ( Shout out Alpine & Sul Ross State, Those my people) and we had a really bad break up. It seemed like there was no coming back from it. Everything around me stopped making sense, my basketball career had become stagnated and to be honest I was looking for love in all the wrong places. On top of that, I was also coming out of a group I was in called “2 Doms R Better Than 1”, but that’s another story. So it just seemed like nothing was working, and the entire time I kept trying to hide my love and ability in music. But as more situations hit me, the better the lyrics in my head were and then one day I couldn’t hide it anymore. I sat down threw on R.Kelly’s “When a Woman’s Fed Up,” rolled a few packs of Blue Optimos and came up with the track, “VICTIM”. 

  Who do you see yourself working with as an artist and producer?

Out the gate I have to say, Lyfe Jennings, Miguel, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Kevin Gates, Erykah Badu, India Arie, Wiz [Khalifa], Curren$y, Mo3, Yella Beezy, & Post Malone are some of the artists would love to collab with. However, I can’t leave out Chris Brown, K Camp or Drake. As for producers, I would have to say The Dream, Metro Booming, Sledgron, Skee Beats, Zaytoven, T-Pain, No ID, and Kanye West. I would lose my absolute mind in the dojo with these guys. Just to hear some of the knowledge and stories of how this industry can make and break you is a privilege in itself. 

  Tell me about your latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, and what inspired it?

My latest release project “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, was released on April 20th. This tape is one for everyday things we see and have to deal with. I am a proper 90’s baby, I was raised on good classic movies about us like, “Colors”, “Menace II Society”, “Boyz N Da Hood”, “Juice,” etc., and by looking at this list and reading my title “Hood Movies” you can see a lot of these are blockbusters and far from “Hood or Low Budget” Movies. I was iterating to the subject and content of those movies about being from the “hood”. It also shows how your circumstance isn’t always forever, it can always be better and as “Man Of your Word” stand on what you believe in! The “Kartoonz” part is self-explanatory, unlike nowadays coming up our cartoons back then had a message every episode, showed you how you can be an everyday hero and believe in you. Little things like that, so that had a major impact on what raised me. “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” is just that giving you who I am in eighteen songs. Just taking you back to the good old days without all the “B**ches & H*es”. But real music! The producers for this one varied from B. Young, Kil’Lab Music, Fly Boi_DBone, RealNDaFields, Jia Beats and Mingo Gomez.  I wanted to work with a solid foundation of producers that work just as hard in the craft like me. 

Well, as of right now, I am currently in the works of releasing three tapes at the end of July. “Summer Of 65‘” produced By Lu.B Music, “91 Made Me” by produced By YB Beats and “Digital Dope” produced by Mingo Gomez. Each tape has its own producer. The three tapes are collaboration tapes between me and my producers with all original beats that they make themselves. I have no set release dates but they all will be available by the end of July 2018 on all digital platforms. 

  How important is the idea of connecting with other musicians to you? And how do you believe someone should utilize their connects? 

Networking is the key to everything, cause, unfortunately, you can be GREAT at something and never get a chance. But to know someone that knows someone who can pull strings and make life for you a walk in the park or take you to the next level is great. Utilizing the connections is crucial and lucrative in becoming someone in the industry. You have to keep that connection alive. Most people will get a number and never use it or wait until they need something. NO NO NO! You hit them on the regular and see if you can help them or even just ask how things are going. Connections can take you around the world twice, without spending a dime. Just gotta know how to maneuver.

  How would you describe your writing process?

I am a machine! I never stop writing and my process is unorthodox, spontaneous and just downright SMOKING FIRE! I am into writing as far as poems, plans or notes so writing isn’t the hard part, but what I found difficult was learning how to control my thoughts, how to make them tell a story and stay on beat.. can be absolutely BRUTAL! But I am a workhorse, and once my heart is made up, in my mind I am unstoppable. I BECAME A MONSTER.  Now my process consists of creating the hook and making a song. I also use Instagram as an open gym for practice.

  What is your thought about the current state of the Hip-hop game?

It’s absolute bullshit for those that would enjoy my kind of music. If you aren’t talking about guns, jewelry, women, drugs, and ignorant stuff, your music gets pushed away or skipped. I ain’t knocking any of those artists out there that rap about it, that’s them, it’s what they know and I support it. But I can’t cap that to catch a wave or make a fan. I was raised around real gangsters, and I was brought up as a gentleman. In my line of business, those lyrics are for the FEDS and people you don’t need knowing your business, and besides, I want to rap about me, life, love, memories and occasionally weed. But today’s music scene is like “Sheep,” as long as it’s ignorant and they see someone else liking it they will all run to it. But that’s all the way gravy, it’s a process and the longer the drive, the longer the run will be. I’m quiet, patient and supportive. Hating will get you nowhere.

  What would you like for the readers to know about you?

I’m human, I can only give it to you how I see it and believe it. I’m old school and really laid back. I was raised a winner and I’ am a man before ANYTHING. My music is me standing in front of a mirror revealing me just as much as its reflecting. 

  What advice would you give to young musicians in the game?

Enjoy being unknown, because as soon as you become hot, they [record label execs] will be quick to label you with a style, or a sound without fully given you a chance to blossom and be versatile. BE YOURSELF IN YOUR MUSIC because as soon as you lose who you are, your music will become typical. Going unnoticed doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t or won’t make it. Timing is everything, just stay ready, keep working and believe that your days are coming. FUCK THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS. YOU ARE HARDER TO IGNORE WHEN YOU DONT ASK FOR PERMISSION. 

  What are your plans as a musician for 2018?

Since I am still a new artist I want to make that a strong point of my path to being signed. I plan on building a HUGE catalog of QUALITY MUSIC towards potential radio singles, visuals and eventually put a real album together before the end of 2018. I also plan on making the Freshman XXL list by the summer, having a 1000 youtube subscribers, and at least 2 Hit singles. I want a lot but I’ve learned pace & patience can take you far if you really want it! So I’m deep in the process and enjoying the ups and downs of the learning process to make it in this industry. My son will also be born Sept 12, 2018, so I am really enjoying that next step of my life. I’m excited! He’s gonna be a Jr! Our Little Baby Shiik, well his mom calls him Biscuit, make sure I add that or she liable to punch me. (Laughs) To sum it up really create a wave, and open doors for my family, my team, and I to exceed expectations in life while we can! 

Make sure to follow SHIIK on his Instagram and Twitter and Soundcloud for more updates.

Datpiff (The Thooka Tape)

Datpiff: (KartoonzNHoodMovies)

Google Play: bit.ly/GooglePlayB-Rhye

Up-And-Coming Artist: SHIIK It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn't be further from the truth.