#keebo sdv

[ask-keebo-sdv]

Hello! introductory post!

welcome! its great to meet you all! my name is keebo and im new to stardew valley! ill accept any questions! but i do wanna set up some general rules so that way all of us are happy! 1. flirting is allowed 2. suggestive jokes are allowed, but outright grossness just isnt tolerated 3. please refrain from pointing sharp objects (swords, chainsaws, axes, etc) at keebo, he gets scared

now that thats out of the way, i thought id share my opinions on the other members of stardew valley!

Alex: hes nice! never throws me the gridball though even if i used to play all the time when i was alive! Elliot: i only ever see him on fridays when hes at the saloon or the occasional meet at the beach, wonder why hes so complicated! Harvey: he always forgets im a zombie, ill walk in with my head completely detached and he starts to panic! Sam: i slapped all of the hair gel out of his hair once, his face was funny Sebastian: another one with a complicated schedule! his motorcycle wakes me up in the night sometimes Shane: i think he has to hold back breaking a beer bottle over my head sometimes Abigail: we eat rocks together all the time! scares harvey to death Emily: we work at the saloon together! shes a bit on the mentally unwell side but that just adds more flavor! Haley: the more she denies being a lesbian the closer i am to buying her chapell roan concert tickets Leah: it took me over a year to realize she wasnt related to robin, they look so similar! Maru: one time i heard an explosion come from her house while i was visiting jodi and kent, and kent hid under the table for almost the whole time i was there Penny: usually dont talk to her, but i do see her with vincent and jas often! Caroline: another one on the unwell side but shes still sweet! i think shes fucking the wizard but whatever Clint: i avoid him at all costs for a reason Demetrius: robin settled on him of all people? Evelyn: shes such a sweetheart! she bakes me cookies a lot and shes an overall great woman! George: i usually only see him during festivals or if im visiting alex Gus: owner of the saloon! im surprised how used he is to me eating glass Jas: i want to protect this small innocent child with my entire afterlife. Jodi: i see what kent sees. Kent: i need this man biblically. i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism. Lewis: no sir no i have not seen your purple shorts youre mistaken Marnie: please fix your schedule before i fix it for you. Pam: props to her for driving the bus while drunk! Pierre: open up fucker i know its wednesday but i need pepper seeds. Robin: im surprised she isnt sick of how many chicken coops i keep needing Vincent: also innocent, 10/10 would protect again Wizard: got me high in whats technically marnies backyard, so like besties for life Morris: would get a joja mart membership just for him

sorry for the aggressively long post, hope the rest arent like these! Keebo signing off!