#kdin you have even more respect from me

[nyan-b1nary]

So uh

I was digging for kdin's pumpkin crushing post for a friend and ran across her can-crushing post as well (obviously).

So I get curious and wonder if I can do it too

Owwww.

[gavichaelreaction]

A long (and personal) rant about what’s happened at RoosterTeeth (overdue I know)

It’s taken me a while to really sit and think through this. I had more things written when I was running on raw emotion, but I’ve since dialled it back. I didn’t want my last post on here to be the last thing I say about it. So, with that out of the way;

The reality of how bad things had gotten at RoosterTeeth hit me after the layoffs, and the Black Lives Matter movement when Mica Burton expressed how she was actually treated by some people behind the scenes. I really felt for her on that one Off Topic episode.

For years, RoosterTeeth had always preached about how fun their workplace was and how they were all like a family. So many fans wanted to work there, and even though employees there themselves always said “don’t aim to work here” we still grew up watching their videos, drawing fan art, writing fanfics & idolising these people, wishing that we knew them.

Since the whole ry*n and ad*m thing, fans have been burned before, learning in one of the worst ways possible that putting these people up on a pedestal like that can go right to their heads and make them feel like they can get away with anything. How some will take advantage of their fans, the people who trusted them.

The media company that I grew up watching, their videos I watched religiously from 2012 through to 2015, it was all sunshine and rainbows, but only on the surface. If only I’d have known what was really going on this whole time. I’ve not followed RT or AH for a long time, and when I have been keeping up with some stuff, it’s been on Twitter when a new controversy arises. Which is a total shame.

I’m just glad that Ray got out of there and found his true calling in life. He’s done so well for himself after he left, married the love of his life, has 2 dogs, a home, and a career that he now has control over, getting to do what he wants and no longer feeling burnt out like he was. That fans (for the most part) respected his choice, even if they didn’t like it, realising that actually he was better off in the end.

I’m so happy that Mica has since moved on to bigger and better things, found her people over at Critical Roll, who all welcomed her with open arms, and has been on freaking Star Trek alongside her dad! Love all of that for her, and she seems genuinely happy now!

I’m glad that Kdin told her story, has forgiven people who’ve come forward and apologised for their actions and past behaviours, let everyone know who her real friends are, and called out the people who did wrong or turned a blind eye to the shit that went on and did nothing to help her.

I was happy to see people actively riot when Matt announced his job had been dissolved. When he & Jeremy first joined AH, I saw a lot of negativity towards them, generally “change bad” and “new people not funny” but they were once fans like us, who we thought were lucky to work there. Now though, they’ve seen the other side and have still stayed humble. They seem like good, genuine, down to earth people who are still so invested in the RT community. Showing their support for Kdin, Ray, Mica and everyone else who was hurt by all of this. I hope they all stream together someday!

I’m glad that Michael delivered what I thought was the most genuine apology out of everybody and that Kdin has forgiven him. He has since shown growth, not just in his words but with his actions. He’s not the same person he was when he started at AH. He’s stepped up and taken responsibility. Not everyone forgives him, not everyone sees it that way, but I’m glad Kdin does.

One of the best things that RT ever did, was hire Monty Oum. If there’s one thing that man did for me while he was there, was that he taught me to never give up. To strive for the life that I deserve, and not settle for anything less, and to be creative. Even if it means I’m not good at something first, even if it takes a lifetime. To be thankful for life in general, because you never truly know how long you have.

The only thing that really stops us is time.

I never wanted to work at RoosterTeeth, I just wanted that creative and encouraging workplace that felt like a family, where my voice was not only heard but also listened to. Where I felt valued and respected. Now I’ve found that, and I get to live that dream. After years of feeling like a failure and not having any direction or purpose, and I never take that for granted. “Not everyone gets to do what they love as their job, and there’s never a day where I forget that.” I now feel the love that I’ve craved so much and for so long. I don’t want to not exist anymore, I want to live my life knowing that Monty would be proud of me, to be proud of myself, and to do enough living for both of us.

It just saddens me that this wasn’t the true reality for some working at RoosterTeeth. The things it did give me, that I will always cherish and take away from it- good memories, ideas, inspiration, laughs, moments that got me through some of the darkest times of my life, and hope for the future. Belief in myself that I could do anything I set my mind to, and to aim beyond the stars. Let my imagination run wild and it would get me there in the end. It’s never too late, I’m not too old, I am good enough, and I’m not alone.

“You’re never fighting alone, get up, get going, I’ll meet you there.” AND,

Keep Moving Forward.

Anyway, /rant.

[shihunia]

Love Is a Promise (12/?)

Gavin had always been the odd one out. So when Michael, the new kid at school, stands up for him, the two of them become the best of friends–practically inseparable. But Michael soon moves away, leaving Gavin to be on his own again. Fast forward to 10 years later, and Gavin’s become the most popular kid at school–the brains, the friends, and the power. In comes the new kid, and Gavin saves him from a bunch of kids picking on him. And what do you know, there’s something strangely familiar about him…

AO3 Link

“So,” Lindsay started, clapping her hands together, “I think this calls for a celebration.”

Gavin and Michael looked up from their lunches to give Lindsay a questioning look. “What?” they asked, almost in perfect unison.

Lindsay sighed, placing her fork down and leaning on her elbow. “You know,” she started, gesturing vaguely with her other hand, “a celebration, for like, getting into the play and all.”

Gavin gasped, quickly sitting up straight. “You’re right!” He leaned back, crossing his arms. “After all, I went through all that stress and worked so hard, I deserve it!” Michael shook his head and sighed, getting a laugh out of Gavin.

“Oh, but, it shouldn’t just be me, of course.” Gavin placed his hands on the table and leaned forward, looking over at Ryan’s side of the table. “Hey, Ryan!”

Ryan, surprised by the sudden call, nearly choked on whatever he was chewing, but acknowledged Gavin anyway. “Yes, Gavin?” he called back, in between coughing fits.

“We want to celebrate the fact that we got into the play! After school, at the mall! You’ll come, won���t you?” Gavin asked, an expectant smile on his face.

Ryan shrugged and turned to speak with the people at his end of the table. It was a conversation that Gavin couldn’t quite hear, but it ended quickly. Ryan turned back to Gavin, saying, “Sure, why not? Can Jack come?”

Gavin grinned even wider, if possible. “Of course!” Ryan gave him a quick thumbs up and went back to eating, ending the conversation.

Gavin sunk back into his seat, smiling. Lindsay scoffed, resting her head in her hands. “I don’t remember letting you choose where we were going, when, and with who.”

“Aww, come on, Lindsay,” Gavin whined, resting his face on the table. He looked up at her with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster, earning a disgusted look from Michael. “It’s a celebration for me, I should get to choose, right?”

Before Lindsay could answer, he shot up straight in his chair, effectively scaring the shit out of Michael. “Besides, it’s more fun with more people, right?” As if that wasn’t enough of a scare, Gavin turned and grabbed Michael’s hands without warning, allowing whatever was left of his soul to leave his body. “Michael, is there anyone you want to invite?”

After taking a second to breathe, Michael thought about anyone he could potentially invite. Other than Gavin and Lindsay, who he basically spent every waking moment with, there were very few candidates. “I guess… maybe… Kdin?” he asked more than answered.

“Oh, yeah! You guys were really good friends in the beginning of the year.” Without letting go of Michael’s hands, Gavin stood up, pulling Michael up along with him. “It’ll be easier to go to Kdin than it will be to yell across the table,” he explained, dragging Michael towards the opposite end of the table.

When they got there, Gavin gave Michael a little push to get him to open the conversation. Michael gave him a look, but turned back to Kdin and his group of friends. “Uh, hey, Kdin.”

Kdin stopped mid-sentence and turned to Michael with a smile. “Hey, Michael! What’s up?”

“Well,” he started, suddenly unable to speak. Michael gestured wildly with his hands, as if trying to grasp the words he needed. “Me and Gavin, and some others, we wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, today after school?” he finally pieced together.

Kdin frowned. “Oh, that sounds fun.” He glanced at the others at his table and looked back at Michael apologetically. “But I’ve already made plans with my friends here, so…” he trailed off.

Gavin leaned close to Michael, whispering, “Friends are invited too, you know.”

Without realizing he was speaking too loud, Michael replied, “Well, I don’t know if his friends want to come.” As he spoke, he glanced at the people at Kdin’s table and realized one was staring him down. Angrily.

Instinctively, Michael balled up his fists in response. Gavin noticed the action immediately and grabbed Michael’s right hand, coaxing him to relax.

Kdin must have noticed too, because he glanced at the kid that was staring Michael down, looked at Michael, and back to the kid. “Jeremy,” Kdin said, sighing, “it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” the kid, who Michael assumed was Jeremy, practically growled.

“He doesn’t know,” Kdin explained. “Well, yet, I guess.”

Michael had finally relaxed his hands, and Gavin let go of him. “Doesn’t know what?” Michael asked.

Kdin glanced around for a moment before motioning for Michael to move in closer. Confused, Michael bent down a bit, enough for them to be at eye level. “Listen, I trust you, Michael,” Kdin whispered. “So I’m letting you know that I’m… transgender. Which means that I identify as a girl, not a guy. So when you talk about me, please use she instead of he, okay?”

Michael nodded. It wasn’t a new concept to him, but he’d never known anyone like that personally. Still, he knew enough to know that it was downright humiliating to not have anyone take you seriously or respect you, so Michael vowed to support Kdin, whoever h- …she was. “Okay, Kdin. I’ll try not to make that mistake again.”

Gavin gave Michael a questioning look when Michael stood up straight again, but Michael waved him off. “Anyway,” Michael began again, “what Gavin was saying was, if you want, your friends can come too.”

“Oh!” Kdin smiled again. She turned to her friends, who were locked in their own conversation at that point. “Hey, guys,” she interjected, quickly getting her friends’ attention. “Do you wanna hang out with Michael and Gavin today?”

Her friends seemed to think about it for a moment, but they quickly agreed to it. Kdin turned back to Michael with a smile. “Okay, everyone’s on board! Where are we meeting and when?”

“After school at the mall!” Gavin answered for Michael. “We’ll meet you by the entrance!” With that, Gavin grabbed Michael’s hand again and dragged him back to their seats. Michael could barely give a goodbye wave to Kdin.

Lindsay sat patiently, watching the two of them as they sat down. “I take it that they agreed?” she asked.

“Yeah, they’re coming,” Michael answered, deciding to pack his lunch away rather than continue to eat.

“What about you, Lindsay?” Gavin asked, doing the same. “Is there anyone you want to bring?”

Lindsay shook her head. “Well, Dan and Ray seem like they’re busy, and I don’t really see a point in inviting anyone from my end if the celebration is for you and Ryan.”

Gavin huffed, crossing his arms. “I said it would be more fun if we have more people, Lindsay. If there’s anyone you want to bring, you can invite them!”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Lindsay laughed, waving him off. “It’s not like I really know anyone other than you dorks, anyway.” Gavin gasped at the word ‘dorks’ and opened his mouth to explain how they were very much indeed not dorks, but the bell rang before he could say anything.

At the sound of the bell, Gavin grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, as if in a hurry. Already halfway turned around, he pulled out his phone and called back at Michael and Lindsay. “Sorry, guys,” he apologized, waving his phone in the air. “I have to get to class quick, but I promise to text everyone the location and time, okay?” Before Michael or Lindsay could answer, Gavin had already run off into the crowd.

Shocked, Michael stared at the crowd that Gavin had so quickly disappeared into. “Wonder what’s got him in a rush?”

Lindsay sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “Who knows?” She stood up and began packing her stuff away, listing off possibilities as she worked. “Maybe he’s resolved to pull himself together in that class, or he pissed off the teacher so he’s trying to prove he’s not a delinquent, or…” She trailed off, trying to think of any other overused tropes that might explain Gavin’s behavior.

She snickered, thinking of another. “Or maybe he made a promise to meet up with the person he likes before class?” She burst into laughter just thinking about it, barely being able to finish the sentence.

She expected Michael to laugh along with her, but when she didn’t hear anything from him, she paused and looked his way. Instead of a smile, there was a look of shock on his face—one that shocked her as well.

She wanted to say something, something like, “Wait, fuck, that’s not what I meant,” but nothing came out.

Eventually, Michael spoke up, asking, “Is… Is there seriously someone that Gavin likes?”

“No way.”

A hand fell onto Michael’s shoulder and he turned in surprise to find himself staring up at Ryan. “Well, I mean, I don’t know.” Ryan removed his hand and apologized for being so sudden. He then shrugged, adding, “I mean, he’s so busy being friends with everybody. I doubt there’s a special someone in his life.”

“Oh,” was the only thing Michael could say, too caught up in the idea of Gavin being in love with someone, for some reason he couldn’t figure out.

Ryan sighed, not really knowing what to do in this situation. “I, uh, sorry again about so randomly butting into the conversation.” He gestured with his hands, looking for the words he wanted to say. “I was looking for Gavin, to ask him where we should meet after school. And then, well, he wasn’t here, and you guys were talking and I overheard you, and…” He was hoping Michael would understand and finish the conversation, but to no avail. “And, so, yeah, I just thought I’d say something.”

Lindsay shook her head and walked up to the two of them, patting Ryan on the back. “No worries, Ryan. Gavin said he’d text everyone before school’s over.” She gave him a smile and a tentative thumbs up, silently telling him not to worry too much.

Ryan got the message and nodded. “Right, okay.” He spotted Jack leaving without him and started to move towards that direction. “Okay, well, see you guys later!” And then he was off.

Lindsay waved him off and looked back to Michael, who was still staring off into space. With a long sigh, she slapped his back, making him fall forward. He caught himself quickly, but the action earned Lindsay a long string of angry curses, which she was happy to hear. “Geez, I didn’t think this of all things would be your undoing.

Pulling his backpack up on his shoulder after being so rudely pushed, Michael furrowed his brow at her words. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Lindsay snickered again, shaking her head. “Gavin’s love life got you all messed up.”

To his dismay, Michael’s face reddened. He struggled to come up with an excuse. “What the— It’s just— I was just thinking—” He fumbled for the right words, trying to explain himself for being so caught up in it without being too weird about it. “I thought that, if he had someone he liked, I would know, so when you said that, I felt...” he trailed off.

What did he feel, anyway? Michael really didn’t know.

“I was just… surprised, is all.” Michael decided that was probably the best way to put it.

Lindsay seemed unconvinced, but she agreed anyway. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Sure.” She debated whether or not she should keep her mouth shut, but decided to speak anyway. “Besides, if you care so much, you can just ask him after school,” she said with a laugh.

Michael felt his face heat up again. “Shut up.”

 As promised, Gavin texted the group right before the last bell rang. He set the meeting time for three o’clock, right at the front entrance. He figured that would give everyone enough time to bring their stuff at home and make it back to the mall.

At three, as promised, Gavin showed up with Michael and Lindsay. Ryan and Jack seemed to be waiting there since school got out, since they drove straight from the high school to the mall. Within a few minutes, Kdin showed up with the three guys she was with at lunch. They introduced themselves to Michael as Matt, Jeremy, and Trevor.

After the shared pleasantries, the group entered the mall and officially began the “celebration”. They spent a few hours doing some window shopping, entering stores and essentially wreaking havoc. It began with a couple of generic clothing stores. They went in and actually looked at the clothes and considered purchasing them, nothing special. Half the group thought it was a productive way to spend their time, but the other half saw it as a waste.

Which led to that half dragging the half that was having a perfectly good time into the department stores. Jeremy had the genius idea of starting a fashion competition. Except they weren’t fighting for the title of best dressed—they were looking to be the worst. The competition was tournament style. Each person got five minutes to run around the floor and look for the worst set of clothes they could find. At the end of the five minutes, they got time to change. Whoever came out looking worse would advance.

Most of the outfits were pretty bad, but some were definitely worse than others. Those who were eliminated early were Jack in a tropical shirt and some shorts, Michael in a weird leather jacket with a wolf on the back, Kdin in a dress with an ugly color combination (who probably wouldn’t have been eliminated if she hadn’t gone up against someone with an even uglier color combination), and Lindsay, somehow, finding an outfit with every piece covered in cats or cat paw prints. Gavin got lucky and skipped to the final round.

Trevor and Matt got through the first round with some dysfunctional outfits, but eventually lost to Ryan and Jeremy. In the end, it was Jeremy, Ryan, and Gavin all up against each other. Jeremy, for all three rounds, somehow managed to find three horrifying outfits, all in purple and orange. Ryan got through not because his outfit was the ugliest, but because it was the creepiest, and he continued that trend for the final round. Gavin, having not yet gone against anyone, went for a strategy that no one had gone for yet—a ridiculous amount of jewelry on top of the douchiest outfit he could make.

It was a tough choice for those who were eliminated, but Jeremy ended up winning. He was wearing a prison orange shirt, bright yellow dress pants, a royal purple suit jacket, and, to top it all off, a white cowboy hat. It was probably the worst thing anyone could lay their eyes on.

After that, they spent a little more time in the department store, running around and messing with the furniture, the makeup and perfume, and anything else they could get their hands on. It was a mess.

And that was exactly what Michael thought as he watched, horrified, as Lindsay sprayed herself every kind of perfume she was allowed to touch.

It didn’t stop there. They stepped into a Bath and Body Works and, suddenly, Jeremy, Matt, and even Gavin were obsessed with trying out every kind of hand soap at the sink. They must have washed their hands at least twelve times. If not more than that.

And, once again, Michael watched, slightly less horrified, as Lindsay sprayed herself with every perfume bottle labeled “try me”.

They realized it was time to leave once the hand washing team then became obsessed with smelling every candle they could find. The seniors had to drag their little sophomore friends out of the store, and they ended up finding themselves at the movie theater that was joined to the mall.

It was getting a little late, so they ultimately decided against a movie, but did take full advantage of the small arcade area in the front. Jeremy insisted on playing with Ryan, his “battle buddy”, in the shooter game. Trevor and Jack were drawn to the retro games, and they ended up taking turns playing Space Invaders. The others decided to take turns racing each other.

After quite a while, they were about to leave to get dinner together, but something else stopped them. The animal riders.

“We have to ride them!” Gavin practically yelled, running for the stand. “We have to!” he repeated.

Jeremy and Matt ran after him, agreeing, while Michael and Kdin shared a look and reluctantly agreed to follow.

“I guess we have no choice,” Jack sighed, shaking his head.

Ryan laughed, agreeing. “I mean, it looks fun, doesn’t it?”

Jack gave Ryan a look, silently asking, “are you fucking kidding me?” Ryan would have responded, but Jack had already left to follow the rest of them before he could.

Ryan was going to follow, but Lindsay grabbed his arm, stopping him in place. Confused, he gave Lindsay a questioning look. “Everything… all right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lindsay nodded. “I’m just, thirsty is all.” She was silent for a moment before she continued, confusing Ryan even more. She then suddenly looked up, surprising him. “Come with me to get a drink?”

Still puzzled, but not wanting to ask anything if she didn’t want to tell, he agreed. “Yeah, sure.”

“Great.”

The two of them walked together, silently, towards the nearest food place. Ryan kept glancing at Lindsay, but she looked so deep in thought and almost pained. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t figure anything out.

He watched her order, pay, and receive her drink wordlessly. Even as she turned away from the counter, she sipped her drink and looked in a different direction, away from him.

It was probably the most stressful moment of Ryan’s life. Not even college apps were this bad.

“Hey, Ryan…” Lindsay started, trailing off.

“Yeah?” he responded, almost too quickly.

She looked up at him, down at the drink, and then back up at him. “If I… tell you something. You won’t think it’s crazy or anything, right? Like, you’ll listen to me.”

She looked worried, which worried Ryan even more. “Yeah, of course,” he responded, hoping not to say anything wrong.

Lindsay sighed in relief. There was a long pause before she said anything. “Well, there’s these two people. And I know they’re supposed to be together. Or, at least, they definitely should. But it’s… It’s like, they don’t know. They aren’t together. Well, they are, but not in the way they should be.” Lindsay groaned, squeezing her cup. She seemed frustrated, like she didn’t know how she should be saying this. “And I just want to help them, you know? But it’s like they’re too dense to get it!” Her grip tightened, and Ryan laughed.

Again, Lindsay sighed. Her grip relaxed, and her frustration melted into worry. “I just want them to be happy. Together. But I don’t want to intervene too much, or it won’t feel real.” She stopped again, thinking. “But I also know I have to do something, or nothing will ever happen.”

Ryan smiled, happy to see that his friend was trying so hard for other people’s happiness. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t know exactly who she was talking about, since he knew exactly how she was feeling. “You’re talking about Michael and Gavin, aren’t you?”

Lindsay looked up at Ryan so surprised that she almost dropped her cup. “I— uh, you, you knew?” she stuttered, absolutely floored.

Ryan shrugged, laughing, half out of relief that what was troubling Lindsay wasn’t that heavy, and half because it was just so funny that she really thought he had no idea. “Well, yeah. It’s kind of obvious that those two have some sort of connection.” Ryan paused, humming, trying to figure out how to explain. “It’s like, I don’t know, soulmates. Like they just… fit together, almost too perfectly.” He stopped again, remembering something with a laugh. “Also, with the way Michael responded at lunch to the idea of Gavin being in love with anyone… of course they’d be the ones you were talking about.”

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you agree,” Lindsay laughed, her shock fading into relief. She tapped Ryan’s arm, telling him that they should start walking back.

“So, let me guess. You asked me because now that Gavin and I are in the play together, we spend more time together, alone, away from Michael, and you want me to help out,” Ryan predicted. “Am I right?”

Lindsay laughed, glad that Ryan got the message. “I mean, you’re a schemey guy, Ryan. Even if you weren’t in the play with Gavin, I probably still would have asked you.”

Ryan didn’t know if he should have been offended or pleased with that comment, so he chose not to respond to it. “Anyway, so what do you want me to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lindsay shrugged, continuing to sip her drink. “Simple things. Just ease it into conversation.” She moved her head from side to side, thinking of things Ryan could do. “Like, just a kind word or two about Michael, mention if you talked to him recently, discreetly ask about Gavin’s feelings about Michael, I guess?”

“Gotcha.”

“Hey, Lindsay! We were wondering where you went!”

Their attention was drawn to Gavin, who was running up to them from the animal ride stand. He gasped, seeing the drink in her hand. “You went to get stuff without us?” he asked, with exaggerated mortification. “We were gonna get dinner right after this, Lindsay!”

“Oh, c’mon. It’s just one thing,” she said, waving him off. “Besides,” she peered behind Gavin to see the rest of the group still riding the animals, “it doesn’t look like we’ll be going any time soon.”

Gavin turned around to see that everyone had decided they wanted to go for another round. If not more. Disappointed, he turned back to Lindsay, who had a smug grin on her face.

“Touché.”

 Eventually, Gavin and Lindsay were able to convince everyone to get up and go get something to eat. They decided on a little restaurant that was partly built into the mall, which might have been a mistake.

Gavin shook his head, resting his face in his hands. “I never would have thought that Ryan of all people would have been the hardest to convince,” he muttered as he watched the rest of the plates get cleared away.

“Oh, come on, Gavin. You were the one who suggested we ride them in the first place,” Ryan pointed out.

“I did, but I went once!” Gavin retorted, pressing his palms into the table. “If we hadn’t stopped you, you probably would have gone for a third ride!”

“Nah,” Ryan laughed, shrugging it off.

Gavin gave him an angry look, expecting an actual answer. When none was given, he sighed, slumping back into his chair and crossing his arms. “Yes, you would have,” he muttered again, taking a sip of whatever was left of his drink.

Ryan leaned on his elbow and stared at Gavin for a good five seconds, making Gavin extremely uncomfortable. Gavin was about to ask if something was wrong when Ryan suddenly asked, “Gavin, is there anyone you have a crush on or anything?”

In unison, Gavin, Michael, and Lindsay all dropped what they were doing and stared at Ryan, wide-eyed and in disbelief. The rest of the table seemed to overhear and listened curiously as well.

Gavin, having been drinking something right before Ryan asked, was struggling not to choke on it. In between coughs, he asked incredulously, “Ryan, what are you talking about?”

Ryan laughed, a bit too happily for the situation. “What? It was just a question. I was just curious.”

Lindsay held her head in her hands, unable to say or do anything. ‘I want to die. I want to curl up and just die,’ was all she could think.

Gavin’s face flushed as he thought about the question. Unable to give a straight answer, he stuttered as he tried to come up with something. “I— I just— No, I—I don’t think so?”

Michael didn’t know why, but even though that was the answer he thought he wanted to hear, it didn’t make him feel any better.

Ryan was going to reply to that statement, but Gavin stopped him before he could say anything else and do any more damage. “I—I mean, why does it even matter if I like anyone? You’re the one that’s looking like a male model, Ryan!”

Ryan flinched at that statement, and it earned quite a few laughs from the rest of the table. “Wh—why would you say that?” he asked nervously.

Gavin smirked, realizing he had the upper hand now. “Look at you, Ryan! I mean, you’re gorgeous. Of course you would be comparable to a male model. You could have anyone you want, couldn’t you?”

A part of Ryan felt relieved that Gavin only said ‘comparable’, but the rest was still very upset with the current conversation. “No I couldn’t! Why are we even talking about this?”

“Because you brought it up!” Gavin pointed out.

“Okay, how about, we just, not talk about this. Anymore.” Lindsay intervened before it got any worse. “Just, like, shut up. Both of you. Let’s discuss something else.”

As if on cue, Jeremy called out to Ryan and Gavin, waving around a dessert menu. “Hey, you guys should get something! Like a cake! It wouldn’t be a real celebration without a cake!” he singsonged with a wink.

Ryan and Gavin exchanged a look before looking at Jeremy with intense scrutiny. “Give us that menu,” Ryan ordered.

With a laugh, Jeremy happily handed it over, and in no time, Ryan and Gavin were happily discussing which cakes they wanted to get.

Lindsay sighed, feeling somewhat relieved that they weren’t discussing their love lives anymore. She watched in content as they bickered over which cake would be best to get while Michael pointed out that they could each get their own cake. At least it wasn’t a conversation that could jeopardize anything.

Still, she knew that she had to make sure that Ryan knew the limits to his “help” to prevent this from happening again.

 In the end, Ryan and Gavin picked two separate cakes, but they ended up sharing them anyway. When they arrived, the whole table sang some shitty rendition of “Happy Birthday”, but instead of “happy birthday”, it was “happy getting into the play celebration”.

After they finished, the whole group said some final goodbyes before finally splitting up. Ryan and Jack drove, so they stayed to make sure everyone else got picked up first. Kdin, Jeremy, Matt, and Trevor all left with their parents within a half hour, and Geoff came to get Michael, Gavin, and Lindsay.

The ride home was short, and before Michael knew it, he was back home. Alone.

It was about eight o’clock, so he wasn’t all that surprised that his parents weren’t home yet. He’d grown accustomed to it over the years. Some nights he’d even go to sleep without seeing his parents.

Without anyone to greet, Michael went straight upstairs to his room. He resolved to work on his homework for a while, at least to kill time until his parents got home. However, unsurprisingly, he ended up falling asleep halfway through.

He woke up later, to the sound of his ringtone. He jumped in his seat, surprised at the sudden noise, and even more surprised to see that he was still sitting at his desk. By the time he had become fully aware of where he was and what was going on, his phone had stopped ringing, but he checked it anyway.

look outside

It was from Gavin, so Michael knew it was better to just do what he asked and not question it. He sighed, pocketing his phone and moving towards the window facing his front lawn. As he looked out, he expected something strange in the sky or something left for him on the driveway.

He didn’t expect Gavin to be standing in front of his house, but there he was.

Shocked, Michael checked the time on his phone. He wondered how late it was, and why the fuck Gavin was outside.

It was ten o’clock.

Michael was about to call Gavin and tell him to go the fuck home and go to bed what the fuck, but Gavin had already sent him a text.

how can i get inside?

Michael wanted to scream.

Was Gavin just being stupid? How could he get inside at this time? Well, it wasn’t that late, but his parents would definitely hear him come in, and then they would want to know what he was doing there, and it just wouldn’t be good for either of them.

Michael wondered if there was a ladder Gavin could get to. Or a rope. He was going to check, but Gavin had texted him again.

theres no car in the driveway… are ur parents home?

Michael sighed. Of course his parents weren’t home yet. He wanted to be upset, but he thought that he should probably be glad in this case. He texted back:

no. u can just come in through the front door. ill let u in.

Within a few seconds, Michael bounded down the stairs and opened the door for Gavin. Wordlessly, Michael stepped aside, allowing Gavin to enter. Gavin nodded a thank you and stepped inside, looking around curiously.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

Michael led Gavin up the stairs and up to his room. He opened the door, allowing Gavin to enter first. As soon as Gavin went inside, Michael followed after and shut the door behind them.

Just as he did downstairs, Gavin looked around Michael’s room curiously. “So, this is your room…”

“Yeah,” Michael shrugged, plopping himself down on his bed. He looked around at the simple, messy room that he inhabited and realized that he probably shouldn’t have let Gavin upstairs. “Nothing special.”

“Well, it is kind of special!” Gavin said, smiling. He let himself fall backwards onto Michael’s bed, stretching his limbs. “I’ve never been in here before.”

Michael scooted backwards and crossed his legs. He stared at Gavin as he lay on his bed, wondering why he suddenly decided to visit. Before he got a chance to ask, Gavin sat up and turned to face Michael, asking, “So why aren’t your parents home?”

Michael’s eyes narrowed as he stared down at his lap. He really didn’t want to be having this conversation. “I don’t know,” was all he said.

“Oh,” Gavin said, trying to think of possible explanations for Michael’s parents’ absence. “Do they work a little farther away or something? Or are they working late?”

Michael sighed, turning to the window. He was silent for a moment before he answered. “I guess.”

Gavin could tell that Michael probably didn’t want to keep talking about it, so he dropped the issue. He waited for Michael to bring something else up, to change the topic.

He didn’t say anything for a minute or so. Gavin had picked a different direction to look in, but peered back at Michael, looking for a change in posture or anything. Suddenly, Michael asked, “Well, why are you here, Gavin?”

Gavin smiled, laughing quietly. “Um, I don’t really know.” The laughter grew louder, and Michael turned to give Gavin a quizzical look. He stopped, and met Michael’s gaze. “I just thought, I wanted to see you.”

Michael backed up on his bed, sighed, and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. “Idiot, you saw me all day.”

Another laugh. “I guess, but, even though I said I wanted more people to come along, the more time we spent with more people, I realized that I really just wanted it to be us.” Gavin pulled his knees up and hugged them to his chest. “Besides, you and Lindsay were my greatest support. And you especially, since you were the first person I told.”

Gavin laughed again, lightening up the tense atmosphere. He let go of his knees and moved next to Michael on the bed, also leaning back against the headboard. “So then I thought that I just wanted to see you. And I came to see you.”

Michael was silent. He was honestly shocked that Gavin felt that way, and he had no idea what to say. “You… you’re such a reckless person, acting on impulse like that,” he eventually said.

“Maybe,” Gavin said, grinning. “But I got to see you, anyway.”

“You would have seen me tomorrow at school.”

“But not alone.”

Michael didn’t know how to respond to that.

Suddenly, Gavin slumped down until he was laying on the bed. “By the way, I’m going to sleep here. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.”

Michael groaned, holding his head in his hands. “What the fuck are you talking about? You can’t just decide to sleep here, in my house, in my bed!”

“Too late.”

Michael sighed, slumping back against the headboard. “Well, I guess I’ll go fuck myself, then,” he muttered.

Both of them were silent for a few minutes, and when Gavin didn’t say anything, Michael thought Gavin had already fallen asleep. He was about to get up to brush his teeth and change into some pajamas, but Gavin said something that stopped him.

“Hey, Michael,” Gavin whispered. “Could you make a promise with me?”

Michael sighed yet again. “What is it?”

“If you’re ever lonely, I’ll promise to just be beside you. To just be with you.” Gavin paused. “And you do the same for me. Just like tonight.”

“Yeah, sure,” Michael agreed, starting to get up.

Gavin pulled on Michael’s shirt, preventing him from standing. “No, you have to really promise.”

Michael lay down next to Gavin and faced him, realizing Gavin wasn’t going to get up or let him get up. “How.”

Gavin had his eyes closed, but held up his left hand with his pinky out. What a child, Michael thought, but he still wrapped his own pinky around Gavin’s. “Pinky swear,” he said, thinking it was absolutely ridiculous.

“Then I’ll never be lonely again,” Gavin whispered, half asleep.

Michael agreed. “Never again.”