#kbk art thoughts

[knitbyknives]

Currently having a lot of cool ideas and really ‘seeing’ specific details but once again… not really doing the part where I actually draw. And not wanting to post anything.

So I’m just endlessly looking at and collecting references. Widening the gap between what the eye can see and what the hand can portray. Awesome. I guess this is what I’m doing now. Thinking about doing art real hard.

I’m also self taught amateur and never learned proper basics so will have to learn. All the fine details in the world don’t matter if I can’t sketch efficiently or the anatomy is off.

I’m so tired.

Edit: At least I’m collecting very diverse references and trying to tag them well.

I’m not sure whether all of the images are free to use if they don’t say so and often they’re just inspo or references for individual elements. ie I wouldn’t be using them for profit or copying them whole cloth.

[knitbyknives]

Trying to brush up on art technique… why is it when I just instinctively draw it looks amateurish but kind of alright (even when adding on glasses)? But when breaking down the shapes and trying to do the proportions it looks like something drawn with my non-dominant hand? It’s like I forget what a face looks like. I go backwards. Completely unintuitive. Even those ‘draw manga’ books mock my fumbling.

I really need to work on anatomy and figure drawing too. It’s easier on digital because instead of drawing exacting shapes I can draw large sweeping gesture outlines with a very thick pastel “crayon”, sketch roughly over it with something smaller guessing at the shape of the limbs, and then go over again to refine it into actual drawings. Then delete all the messy layers. But you can’t do that as easily with traditional (you can’t erase oil pastels) so better habits would be good.

And what even are my circles on paper…

My usual go to technique is untrained and sloppy but it is so demotivating trying to git gud with more structured approaches. I never learned fundamentals and it’s hard to change as an adult.

I wish there was a way to draw while lying on your back but with the gravity on your arms that’s a pretty tiring stress posture.

I’ve also managed to completely put myself off a fully formed character and story because it was all too close to home and emotionally all too much 👍

[knitbyknives]

Posting all these references and advanced techniques is great. Learning a lot. But I'm self taught and haven't drawn in such a long time... What I really need to do is to learn and practice the fundamentals and I really don't want to.

Currently I allow fudging and cheating past the hated bits simply to get unstuck. Picking non-serious subjects like inserting OCs into memes, doing studies or redraws.

Roughly tracing a general outline of an image with thick digital crayon that obscures all detail, hiding the original image layer and making myself sketch the image again using only the clumsy sweeping shapes as a guide.

Sketching a rough original with the giant crayon, sketching over it, then over it again into a final draw.

Or (if it's for a meme) just straight up tracing the large bits that don't matter like a background or a shirt posture.

It unblocks, it's a form of play and learning the program, it takes the pressure off, I learn, it seems there's potential there when the finished image looks good. But it feels like cheating. As soon as the basics get faced... as soon as a real effort to improve is made? The quality could seriously drop and morale with it.

I have actually done redraws and studies without any of that in traditional art so I know I can do it, but it was instinctive. I didn't break it down into neat shapes. No anatomy. It was done by eye and 'what looked right'.

It's like... I did sketch that unaided, I even took photos of the progress, but don't actually remember how? It would be smarter to go back to the basics I never got taught, learn the tried and true ways to confidently sketch figures and anatomy rather than just do it on guesswork. I need to actually learn the fundamentals.

Especially if I want to combine different references into a coherent new whole. Because I have so many ideas for original compositions. My own concepts.

I just have all this weird anxiety, these paralyzing hangups and blocks. Can't practice consistently. Attempts and practice to do better look so so bad.

I also know it's best to learn technique via traditional art but disability sucks and it's hard to sit up for long, make the smooth sweeping movements with my arm, get propped up and have the tilted lap table positioned at the right height.

I can't draw lying flat on my back so it's most often hunched over phone lying on side... Posture is non existent. Digital art on a tiny phone screen encourages small repetitive wrist movements that cause pain and having technology form the circle for you means I don't learn.

But we persist. I even bought a 'drawing manga' kit just to take it right back to the level of a child so I don't have to take it seriously or be afraid of it. Just speedrun the drawings, use up cheap shitty art supplies filling a crappy disposable sketch pad with junk sketches, rolling my eyes the whole time as I train muscle memory, learn proportions and iron out bad habits. If I can stick to it.

I don't understand why I have so much anxiety and so many hangups around a hobby I'm "good at" and want to do...

Guess along with my physical health my mental health and anxiety levels are currently just eating me alive.

[knitbyknives]

I’m finding some great pictures but so many of them include some nudity…

I clearly tag that stuff so nobody gets mad and reports it but it’s disheartening to think Tungle might decide it’s too much and scrub the reference pics I spent ages collecting and tagging. It’s also a little embarrassing.

I’m genuinely not even trying to be suggestive about it though. They’re just inspiring arty poses that show how bodies look and some really striking mannerisms. Especially if you get into fantasy creatures.

The seductive arched ones translate well to mermaids and the Victoria’s Secret angels would work nicely for angels or swan maidens.

[knitbyknives]

Apologies for the constant influxes of models of colour, anti whitewashing tutorials and guidance on 4c hair. It’s not intended to be fetishistic.

Creators I’m a fan of have OCs of varying ethnicities - and since I don’t really draw people and haven’t drawn PoC before I’m trying to learn how not to show my ass with common mistakes.

And then due to art block I’ve just got stuck procrastinating by reblogging tutorials/references.

They do seem good to boost though.

[knitbyknives]

I’ve been scratching my head and wondering why a lot of ideas and interest isn’t translating… and now I realise I mainly just don’t want to post it! The pressure is putting me off.

It’s cool. I’ll just keep sharing complex inspo images but allow myself to go back to chill practice images again.

[knitbyknives]

I keep having to refollow art reference blogs that I know for sure I was following. Is tumblr doing this, or am I just repeatedly getting soft blocked by different art blogs?

Very strange. I’ve had this blog for a handful of years now and it’s full of varied tagged posts including art shit. I haven’t done anything offensive and don’t think my page looks like a bot?

Am I perhaps getting soft blocked for spam reblogging 🤔

[knitbyknives]

I can’t stand it, I’m fixing their skin tone. Now it looks worse skill wise but a little bit darker.

Next time I pick my own custom colour and use a reference

[knitbyknives]

Me: My interest in art has suddenly returned and become a hyperfixation. Perhaps I should work on fundamentals and/or actually draw things.

Me: (compulsively reblogging a million things instead of practicing skills) Aht

[knitbyknives]

I’m beginning to have a lot of art and fic ideas now but the actual work of producing them feels beyond me. And they’d probably just get stolen and scraped.

Really discouraging.