#kazuis based off. you guessed it. half. again

[doodles-in-sand]

we know the drill, outta requests means self indulgence time :) shidou and kazui this time! B6 for both + different palettes

as you can see at the top. I Need To Make Them Cry.jpeg

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Cat: Initial Thoughts

Venus here, sorry if this is shakier than usual! I have a lot less thoughts on this MV for one reason or another, so it’ll probably be faster and possibly less detailed, but I want to get my opinions into the world anyways.

Let’s just get to it!

T/W: suicide, substance abuse, homophobia

Kazui didn’t cheat on his wife.

As always, I’m using @onigiriico​’s super fast translation of the audio drama, so thanks so much!

In said audio drama, Es says Kazui was unfaithful. However, he says that “it didn’t even turn into infidelity.” Obviously, that implies that it could have been or that it got close, but he doesn’t say it’s actually infidelity, and in most senses, I’m willing to believe him.

At 2:20, Kazui has just recently had the apple sneak up on him again. He seems distressed, saying he “can’t be normal,” and then takes off his ring and says, cigarette in hand, “let’s take a breather.” His wife looks quite distressed. 

My best guess is that this is Kazui asking for a break. Now, obviously, it’s not the most faithful thing to be super tempted in cheating to the point of asking for a break. Still, it does mean that he did stop himself before he violated an active relationship where it seemed like nothing was wrong, so that’s a plus.

I’m not sure if it was just straight-up temptation or if he might have had an emotional affair with someone. Emotional affair would make some sense to me (more on that in a sec), but I have no idea who it would be with. I’m honestly hoping the interview questions might help us out there to an extent.

The person Kazui didn’t-quite-cheat with is someone who stands out from the other people Kazui meets.

This is largely based upon my interpretation of 1:08, shortly after the wedding sequence.

There are a ton of apples, but most of them are red. In fact, we only see one green apple. That green apple is the one that follows Kazui throughout the rest of this MV, and it’s the one that keeps sneaking up on him in the half MV. Because it’s the one he eventually bites, I think there’s plenty of reason to believe that this is the person he has relations with outside of his marriage.

I want to focus on the fact that it is green, because that obviously makes it stand out. I don’t think that this is just to make it more identifiable; I think there’s a point being made here.

Kazui IS gay?

Yeah, uh... I wasn’t sold on this one at first, when I first watched half, but as I think I’ve said before, the longer we go on, the more I think it’s true. Like, yeah, it does seem like there’s more to it than just Kazui having relations outside of his marriage.

The entire MV, he’s talking about the charade. He’s clearly living the life that a guy is “supposed” to lead; eventually, you get married to a woman and go down the journey of life together. Still, the fact that, even at the altar, he calls it “loving affection minus love” seems to imply that he feels, at least in retrospect, like the love was never present. He didn’t fall out of love with his wife, it simply wasn’t ever there. He married her out of obligation.

Through in the suspect interview questions about his childhood friend who he went fishing with or whatever and lines from Kazui’s POV saying stuff like “I can’t be normal,” and... I think Kazui is kinda just a closeted gay man?

I say “just” here, and I mean that literally. If you trust his audio drama, he says that he wants his “sin” to be found out, but even so, Es hasn’t found it yet. To me, my best theory is that he just has internalized homophobia and his big “sin” is the fact that he’s gay. I honestly kinda hate this explanation though, just because that is nowhere NEAR a crime on the level of the other prisoners, so please let me know if you disagree/if I’m missing something here.

Kazui has developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I don’t remember if we’ve heard why Kazui smokes before. I know that Shidou says that he does it because he wants to be unhealthy, and Mikoto presumably does because he thinks it makes him seem cool or something. I don’t remember learning anything similar about Kazui.

Still, with the moments at which he pulls out a cigarette or a drink in this MV, I definitely feel like he’s using substances to dull the pain of... I don’t know, life? His constant lying and the self hatred that goes along with it, probably. 

Obviously, he went to the bar in the half MV, but this time, the devs are definitely trying to draw attention to it. There’s a line in the song that’s literally just “oh wow I’m drunk,” and that line is important enough that it shows up as background text at other points in the MV. 

I don’t really know what this means for Kazui character interpretation, but it’s something to consider. For whatever it’s worth, it does make me believe the self-pitying “act” a little bit more; if he didn’t actually pity himself/feel upset that he has to lie all the time, I don’t know what he’s drinking so much for.

Kazui’s wife committed suicide because... ???

This is one of the big places where I’m kinda stumped. Kazui says that she died because he told her the truth. If I’m right and his crime is being gay... I don’t get it? 

I know that divorce is pretty taboo in Japan, so my best shot at it would be that, in being honest with everything, Kazui asks for a divorce because he knows that he can’t ever love her. If that would mean that she’s dead socially or something, that COULD be a potential reason she would commit suicide? I don’t love that explanation, but it’s all that I have right now.

Other Things I Want To Mention But Don’t Have Full Thoughts On:

- In the first MV, Kazui bites the apple. In the second one, he bites the dove. There’s probably some connection here, but I honestly have no idea what it could be.

- “Love, it’s tacky, this two way deceit.” What two-way deceit is Kazui talking about? Like, I get him calling himself the perpetrator and her the victim if he’s saying she’s a victim of his lies. Still, if that’s the case, why would the deceit be two-way? 

- Copzui canon? I saw that undercover cop theory and mostly disregarded it as “probably too out there to be true,” but honestly, it seems basically confirmed at this point. The only struggle I have is what to do with the information. I don’t think that knowing he’s a cop really changes anything about how I read his character or the situation? Other than possibly suggesting that yes, he cares very much about social laws/rules and making sure society stays “correct.”

- What do I make of Kazui asking for an innocent verdict along with the premise of “I can protect the other prisoners”? I don’t really like him bargaining with his strength for a verdict--especially after Kotoko trial 1, I don’t trust bartered verdicts--but on the other hand, it’s true that it’d be nice to have him on defense for whatever the devs might spring on us between trials 2 and 3. 

Anyways...

CURRENT VOTE: INNOCENT

I was actually pretty shocked when I opened the votes and saw a slight guilty majority. To me, the big thing is that... well, I don’t really know why I’d vote him guilty. He’s useful to us, he doesn’t seem like he’s done all that much wrong. I can’t really come up with a genuine reason that I’d want to give him a guilty verdict at this point, so it’s innocent for me.

(Plus, if I’m not sure, I always lean towards a 50/50 so it’s more possible to change the verdict later. So, while he’s guilty-leaning, I’m DEFINITELY voting innocent.)

[stuffedsand]

Es - 1, 4, 12, and 20

Shidou - 6, 18, 23, and 25

Kazui - 2, 12, 13, and 25

Ok redoing this again 💥💥💥 thankyou for the ask rain Tumblr tried to eat it twice now

Es:

1) why do you like/dislike this character?

Ok I have a good few reasons for this!!! I love es milgram that much is obvious but my reasons for liking characters is usually really disorganized so I'll try my best

A) they're so cool looking I love their character design!!! Like holy shit. I've cosplayed them before type of good character design yk

B) they just like me fr

C) they're such a fun concept for an audience insert!! With their own opinions and morals that are somewhat shaped by the audience. Affected by but not entirely reflective of the audiences views and opinions because they're still their own character. Augh.

4) if you could put them in any other media, what would it be?

Hmm if you mean type of media I'd say video game milgram 💥 it'd be fun!!

If by media you mean fandom... Then idk 💀 I'm not the type to crossover single characters, so it'd be like. All of Milgram into something like hsr (iirc someone made this concept... I've thought about it alot but I don't remember who)

12) what's a headcanon you have for this character?

I like to think they regularly check in on the prisoners of their own will! They say it's routine checkup but realistically jackalope didn't say shit about checking in on prisoners outside of interrogations.

Alternatively I think they tend to hold jackalope while sleeping. He hates this

20) ideal best friend for this character

This one's a hard one... Within Milgram I'd say......... Yuno? Or fuuta? Just based on vibes, really. Maybe muu but I haven't watched her voice dramas yet...

Shidou:

6) something you have in common with this character?

He is not a character you'd want to have things in common with if I'm to be honest. Anyways.

Probably my manner of speaking? Doesn't come across as much in text because I make good use of emojis and the words lmao and lol too much. Also the rebuttal of Es' statement in trial 1 vd is something I'd do no hesitation. I was hoping he'd do that actually.

Alternatively... I guess general personality? In the whole mellow, apparently resting bitch face and unintentional aura of intimidation (friends words), and I guess being stupid and stubborn counts, yeah?

18) Relationship with another character in canon that you admire?

....is it off topic to say him and his wife. I think they were cute. Unfortunate, the use of past tense tho lmao

As of current milgram......... Idk he's not the most interactive. Seems to be just acquaintances with most other prisoners... Maybe him n Kazui? The relationship is formed on an unhealthy habit but they seem to by trying to have each other's backs and that's nice.

23) favourite picture of this character

TRIAL 2 ALBUM ART it's so pretty. The way the light flares frame his face like a "halo" in a way no other door art does. The lighting....

Honorary mention to the I think 1st anni art that I have as a standee :)

His t2 album art makes me insane man. The fucking colours on that thing. I really like the colours purple and blue so like. Gestures. Yeah

25) What was your first impression of the character? How about now?

Oh my god you wouldn't believe. Ok so first impression was amusement if I'm fr. I thought him being the only one going "yeah I'd like to die. As atonement of course" was really funny. After that, because I did buy into the organ harvesting theory at the time, I thought the innocent vote was funny. Then triage made me cry.

Now I have Very Complicated Feelings (positive) of points at him hello Mr morally fucked up. I want to see you get worse. I am extremely strange about my favourites I think you can tell.

Kazui:

2) Favourite canon thing about him?

If you're talking generally then I love the songs I love half so much I love cats so much . What about him makes him always get banger songs

If we're talking traits then....I suppose it's how he acts. Like his regret for his "murder". It's so fun to spin around, that he knows it's not legally murder but by god will he feel responsible for her death, enough to consider himself a murderer. Augh

12) headcanon for this character?

I'm not gonna say he's queer I'm not gonna say that he's queer I'm not I'm a stronger person than thi

Anyways. That even years into their marriage he and hinako continued to go on little "dates" (which isn't common apparently? Not where I am)

Though that might be canon... What with that part in cat. Hm...

I like to think he did actually want to be an actor at some point. Or at least had passion in an artistic field. Oh the woes of social construct

13) emoji that reminds you of the character

I think we know. 🍏

(🥬🍏🤍🩵💙 iykyk)

What he would use tho... 👍 Probably.he feels like a 👍 guy

25) first impression vs current one

Well....on first watch of half I spent an hour analysing it, but I can't quite remember my first impression of kazui as a character...

I know I liked the theatre imagery and the implication that he was hiding something. I also remember that even then I did not believe the cheating allegations. I was right btw/silly

Now he makes me sad. I still hold a similar impression but now there's the extra thing that cat gave me of him being a liar since birth so it's not just a lie thing it's a mask to keep yourself safe thing. Aughghghg