#kaveh tearing his hair out over lack of romanticism in alhaitham

[wri0thesley]

there's something so terribly sad about the thought of alhaitham and kaveh's darling, and kaveh tucking a mourning flower behind their ear with a sad smile. a flower from a part of sumeru darling will now never get to see; a reminder that kaveh can leave and come back, and still darling is so grateful for the reminder of the world outside their little square of alhaitham's-home-and-the-garden-he-lets-me-walk-in-for-half-an-hour-a-day that they sigh and rest their cheek against kaveh's hand and ask him (one of their captors! a man just as responsible for all of this as alhaitham himself!) to stay with them just a bit longer. to tell them about the mourning flower. to ask him what the desert is like.

because darling won't get to see any more of this, and if they ask alhaitham he will tell them the soil conditions and the average temperatures and the native beasts in his clinical, dry tone. at least kaveh will tell them the things they want to know; tell them about the people, crack a joke about the client he's working for, take a deep breath and smile like he's remembering something beautiful and let emotion swell his voice. will speak as if one day, darling might get to see it too.

they both know that darling will most certainly not. but kaveh will spin it like a fairytale anyway. and if darling kisses him for the gift, if darling places their hands into his (feels the roughness from working with his fingers, the grit of the sand still in his hair when they stroke it), if darling pretends through him for a moment that they're right there too . . . well, it's equivalent exchange, isn't it? kaveh's pleasure (a kiss, a touch, a murmured sigh) for darling's hope. a flower for a night together.

but it is just a flower. the same thing a lover would give their sweetheart. so kaveh can pretend that your desperate kiss (the press of your body on his, the whispered thanks against his lips, the sighs and huffs against your shoulder and the snap of his hips) is given freely.