#katyeonline

[paige-in-a-story]

Shallow.

**Gif is not mine**

Title: Shallow 

Pairing:  Sam x reader 

Warnings:  lots of flashbacks, and slight angst and fluff 

Feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome 

A/N: This fic is dedicated to @kayteonline for the @spnfanficpond ‘s Galentine’s day challenge! I hope you love this fic, as much as I did writing it for you! Happy Galentine’s day ladies! 

A/N: This is also heavily inspired from the song, ‘Shallow’ by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper from ‘A Star is Born’. 

Song lyrics are in bold italics 

Tell me something boy 

Aren’t you tried of filling that void? 

or do you need more? 

Ain’t hard keepin’ up being so hardcore? 

Many, many moons ago, you fell in love for the first time. You never felt that way about anyone before. You never loved anyone like that since. 

His name was Sam Winchester. 

You were both seventeen at the time.  Along with his older brother, Dean, and Dad, John Winchester moved into town not too long ago. 

You had 12th grade English together; Mr. Harlan introduced Sam to the class, and there was an empty desk right beside your own. 

It was meant to be, you would muse to yourself. 

You’ll never forget as class resumed itself and you dove back into the book you were reading. 

“Psst.” 

You cut your eyes up at Mr. Harlan who was in the middle of a heated coffee sermon. 

You turned around and met Sam’s eyes, who was wondering if he could borrow a pencil. You had no problem with him borrowing a pencil. He could have kept it for all you cared. 

You also offered him your notes, and told him you would bring up to speed on the semester. 

Sam was very grateful for that, and doubled down to you that you didn’t have to go through all that trouble. 

You insisted, saying that it was no trouble at all. 

And the rest was history. 

If only there was a better ending to your story. 

Sam was in town for about two months, and things really escalated between the two of you.  

It was coming around three months, and it was about that time. That time when Dean, John, and Sam moved onto the next town, the next case. 

A part of Sam didn’t want to leave you, but he knew he was going to have to go. He knew you weren’t going to take it very well. Sam loved you too, he loved you very much in fact. But this was one of the prices they paid doing what they do. 

You went blissfully unaware of what the Winchesters really did. As far as you knew, Sam’s Dad was a mechanic, and Dean shared a few tricks of the trade. 

All Sam was going to tell you was, his Dad got a better job somewhere far from here. It’ll come to him when the times comes. 

That time never comes. 

John woke up the boys up in the middle of the night, and they booked. 

You never got a goodbye. 

You got nothing. 

You went to school with the hope he would come again. 

But he never did. 

Eventually, that hope disappeared, just like Sam did. 

You never forgot Sam, and as a comfort, you liked to think that Sam never forgot you. 

Twelve years later 

You’re almost the same as you were twelve years earlier. There are some changes. You’re thirteen years older. You no longer live with your parents. 

Well both of your parents are dead. 

You’re were a nurse practitioner, and you work at Guardian General Hospital, in the emergency room. 

What was supposed to be any other night shift, was much more than that. When a man comes in your hospital doors. He was supporting someone who was taller than him, who was holding onto their side. 

“My brother needs a doctor!?” 

When you looked up from the desk where you sat at you could not believe your eyes. 

It was Sam Winchester. Like you, he was twelve years older, and appeared to be suffering stab wounds. 

You hopped up and lead them to a station, and told him to keep applying pressure. You reassured them you’d get them fixed up in no time.

“You need any help with that, hon?” One of the older nurses who was pulling the graveyard shift with you. 

“Nope I’ve got this one. Thank you though.” You smiled, as you rushed around the ER like a chicken without a head. 

You closed off the curtains and asked how this happened. 

Both of them gave completely different explanations. 

“Well don’t worry cause you’re in good hands now. You’re going to be fine, Sam.” You said, as you got started. 

“How did you know his name was Sam?” Dean asked, as he squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows.  

“Just like how I know your name is Dean. You’re Sam and Dean Winchester. Your Dad’s name was John. It was 12 years ago this fall that y’all drifted through town and...Sam and I had English together.” You sighed, remembering much more than that. 

“With Mr. Harlan, right?” Sam said, in between his small and quiet winces of pain. 

“That’s right.” You nodded. 

“I don’t even remember that. Not to be rude or anything but what was your name?” Dean wondered. 

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N.” You admitted. 

Dean thought about your name and it wasn’t ringing any bells. Sam thought about it and all of his memories with you came flooding back at once. 

“Y/N....” Sam sighed, looking up at you with those eyes he looked at you the first time you talked. 

“I’m going to warn you this is going to sting a bit.” You bit the bottom of your lip and did what you had to do, and his loud groan of pain broke your heart. 

Dean excused himself, saying he was going to try and get some coffee, and would be back soon. 

You finished cleaning Sam up, stitched him up, and ensured he was comfortable. 

After you were done, you removed your gloves, and washed your hands and took a seat, and you let out a long sigh. 

You couldn’t believe after all these years, Sam Winchester was laying before you. 

“I’m sorry Y/N...I left without saying goodbye and I never came back to visit or anything...” Sam apologized, guilt written all over his face. 

“No phone call, no letter, no nothing. But it’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago.” You shrugged, honestly just happy to see him. 

“I can explain everything, but you have to promise me you won’t freak out.” Sam bit the inside of your lip. 

You didn’t quite understand what he meant by that, but you were all ears. 

“So you’re trying to tell me that monsters are real and you’ve saved the world numerous times from total destruction...?” You couldn’t believe it. And all this time you were still convinced that they were a family of mechanics. There was much more to the Family Business than you knew about. 

“You got it right.” Dean replied, as he sipped his hot coffee. 

“I appreciate you telling me. I’m sure it won’t help me sleep at night, but I barely sleep as it is.” You shrugged. 

“How are your parents, Y/N?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“In a much better place now. If Heaven even exists.” Which told Sam and Dean everything, without you even having to say it. 

“It does.” Sam reassured you. 

You talked for a bit longer, but you knew that you were going to have to get back to work sooner or later.

“We don’t want to hold you up, but I’m glad y’all got to catch up.” Dean smiled, and thanking you again for fixing Sam up. 

“It’s nothing, really.” You insisted, just like how you always did. 

“I’ll go bring the car around if that’s alright..?” 

“Go right ahead. I’ll get him to ya in one piece.” Dean offered you a smile, appreciating it very much. 

When you went to help Sam up, he pulled you into him and as you were going to ask him what he was doing, 

He cut you off with a kiss. 

When you pulled away, you shook your head, asking what was that for. 

“I don’t know I just felt like it.” Sam shrugged as a big smile crept on his face. 

You only smirked down at him, and then dove in for another kiss.

That’s what you said to Sam when you kissed him for the first time. And just as you pulled away, Sam breathed out and asked what was all that about. 

“I don’t know I just felt like it.” 

You wheeled Sam out on a wheelchair, and Dean took it over from there. Sam and you already exchanged numbers, and you asked how long were you going to be in town. 

In all honestly, Dean and Sam were probably booking it sometime tomorrow. Before Dean could say anything, Sam interjects, and tells you in the next couple of days. 

You told him to have a better night, and to let you know if you need anything. 

You all said goodbye, and you made your way back inside the hospital. 

Dean and Sam rode in silence, until Dean broke it with, 

“Couple of days huh?” 

“Dean...Y/N was a special girl to me.” Sam admitted, shifting his glance out the window. Dean understood where his brother was coming from. 

“If you need a couple of days, I get it.” Dean nodded. 

Sam and Dean got settled into their motel room, and passed out for the night.

When Sam woke up, he woke up to text from you that read: 

“Hope you got some rest. You looked like you needed it.” 

Sam smiled down at his phone, and responded and then realized you weren’t going to reply instantly because you were probably asleep after working the night shift. 

But, he was wrong. 

“Happy to hear it.” 

Sam couldn’t resist shaking his head, and writing: 

“Shouldn’t you be getting to bed?

“Now I can sleep. I’ll text you when I wake up.” 

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.” 

“Thanks Sam.” 

A couple of hours later 

“Good morning” 

It was two o’clock in the afternoon when you wrote him. 

Sam chuckled down at his phone and wrote this, 

“Good afternoon, Y/N.” 

“What are you doing for dinner tonight?” 

Without missing a beat, Sam replied: 

“I don’t know what are you doing for dinner?” 

Then you wrote: 

“How about I bring you and Dean a home cook meal?” 

Sam threw it out there to Dean, and Dean wasn’t going to turn down a home cook meal. 

“You don’t have to do that, but we appreciate it.” 

Sam also sent along with that the motel and their door number. 

You told him that you would be there around six. 

Right around six, there came a knock on their motel door. 

“Hey Y/N, come on in.” Dean got the door, as Sam was fixing himself up in the bathroom. 

“Hey Dean! How are you? How is Sam feeling?” You asked as you held on the tubs of different containers filled with warm food. 

“I hope you didn’t go crazy.” Dean said, as he helped you unload it on the table. 

“By crazy, I baked some chicken, mac and cheese, and green beans, and I made a pie.” You smiled. 

“You made a pie?” 

“I couldn’t remember which one of you liked pie, but I made it anyway. It’s a blueberry pie.” You told him, and Dean hugged you from the side, and that’s when Sam came out of the bathroom. 

“Sam, I like her.” Dean said, pointing at you. 

Sam and you both laughed, and you hugged Sam from the side, and asked how he felt. 

“I’m feeling alright.” Sam said, biting down on his bottom lip, as he slid his hands into his pockets. 

“Remind me before I leave, I’ll change out your bandages.” You said, as you walked back over to the table to fix them both plates. 

Sam and Dean really enjoyed the food you fixed them, and Dean ate the pie straight from the plate. 

You were just glad you didn’t have to eat alone, and you got the chance to cook. 

Dean pretended that his phone ringing. He decided to step outside which gave you and Sam the room. 

“You want me to switch out your bandages?” You wondered, as Dean slammed the door shut behind him. 

Sam nodded his head, and sat up, and tore off his shirt. Sam laid on his side, so you could work on the side where you patched him up. 

It seemed to healing well, you thought to yourself as you worked in a peaceful silence. 

 “How’s it uh looking?” 

“It looks alright. Who did this to you?” You inquired, as you finished up. “Doesn’t matter.” Sam said, letting out a small sigh. It did matter to you at the very least, but you weren’t going to push the issue. 

“Can I tell you something, Sam?” As he stood up and threw his shirt back on, carefully. 

“Go for it.” 

“I can’t stop wondering why after all this time...you and I...” You nervously looked down at your hands as you said this. 

“I like to think everything happens for a reason.” Sam chuckled, which allowed you to smile a little. 

“You were my first...everything, Sam. And just when I think I fall in love, none of it was ever the same in comparison when I was with you.” You laughed, hoping you didn’t sound stupid. 

“I’ll be honest with you, a couple of girls have come along my way. But none of them were you. And like I told you about Dean and I’s lifestyle. It isn’t easy.” 

“No matter what you tell me, Sam. Nothing is going to scare me away from you because a part of me always loved you. Everyone thought I was crazy but look where we are.” You flashed a brow. 

“What are you trying to say?” Sam squinted his eyes. 

“All I’m saying is why don’t we give this another try. You and Dean can go home, and you and I can talk and see each other when we can. We won’t move it too fast, but I don’t know, Sammy. The both of us are going to want this.” You said, doing everything in your might from crying. 

“If there is one thing I know is, that I want this.” Sam said, taking your hand. You finally met his eyes, and you instantly melted. 

And, that was you all you needed to hear. You cupped his cheek, and you knelt in front of him on his bed and kissed him. Sam supported your back and held you against him, while you kissed. You stopped yourself before things got out of hand, but you weren’t going to deny that you enjoyed it. 

I’m off the deep end 

Watch as I dive in 

I’ll never meet the ground 

Crash through the surface 

Where they can’t hurt us 

Were far from the shallow now 

The End..?