#katou Haru

[daisukekato]

Haru : I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Daisuke :

Haru : Vroom vroom, come out already.

[epickiya722]

After all this damn time, I'm just realizing that Haru and Sayuri, Daisuke's mom, have the same eye color!!!

[ddollfface]

𝐀 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲

𝙆𝙞𝙮𝙤𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙪 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 2.)

Warnings; yandere behavior, bad writing, stalking, creepy letters, misogyny, pushy behavior, me rambling, groping, touchy behavior, reader is a girl, not proofread, Tumblr's a bitch btw :/ If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I'm fully aware that nobody wanted this (I see all of you in my inbox, I'm getting to you, trust), but this little rat has been stuck in my mind. Ngl I have a love-hate relationship with Kiyosumi, but it's whatever. Enjoy :)

Okay, I don't like Kiyosumi. He's mean, brash, loud, arrogant, and doesn't think before he acts, overall there are no redeeming qualities to his personality. And I don't think he'd ever change for someone else, whether it be his master, Doppo, a lover, or a friend. He's stuck in his ways and doesn't want to see the world in any other way. And I just know that if I were to ever meet Kiyosumi (if he were real), we would absolutely loathe each other.

Everything about him genuinely pisses me off, and I can't imagine how anyone could enjoy his presence, so this is why I think Kiyosumi would be an absolute freak to have on your ass. There's no way any sane wo/man would ever consider being in a relationship with him unless they were being held hostage.

I believe that Kiyosumi would be a stalker, through and through. He doesn't have the charisma that Jun or Katsumi (though it's clumsy) have. He's rude and annoying, which is clear throughout the series, but this doesn't mean he doesn't have experience with women. He does, but he doesn't retain any of the information, his head is too stuck up his ass to recognize what works and what doesn't.

He doesn't know how to get a woman into his bed without paying her; he doesn't know how to get a girl to laugh, nor does he know how to get someone to like him. Even though he's an attractive man, he can't seem to get anyone to stay.

Kiyosumi is the butt of the joke, no matter who he's talking to. Everyone makes fun of him and sees him as a weak martial artist, leading him to use extreme measures to appease his own ego, seeing as no one else will. This is why he uses underhanded tactics while fighting, and I think this applies to his dating life. Now, this leads me to the type of girls Kiyosumi would pine after.

The first type is sweet, caring, and sensitive. She can't stand up for herself and flinches at the slight raise in tone. Overall, this type of girl is very insecure and usually sticks to herself or her very, very close circle (who she's likely known since she was a little girl).

If this matches you, then well aren't you lucky. Now you have Kiyosumi tracking your ass. He won't leave you alone, no matter how many times you whisper for him to back off, albeit politely. He takes every stutter, breaking off eye contact, and flushed cheeks as a sign that you're interested in him, not able to get it through his thick skull that you're uncomfortable.

With this type of reader, I see Kiyosumi being an abusive, manipulator who's taking advantage of someone who's smaller than him, both physically and mentally. Kiyosumi enjoys the control you give him, seeing as you don't demean him like everyone else. You're nice to him, though you shouldn't be. You're unnaturally giving, and at first, it makes him conscious, believing that you've got some trick up your sleeve.

Kiyosumi has genuinely never felt such kindness that he's developed major trust issues, which have formed into anger issues. He belives that he's being underappreciated in the martial arts, but you give him the recognition he's looking for. You don't say anything mean to him, if anything you're complimenting him (you're not)!

I feel horrible for this type of reader, far too much of a nervous wreck to say shit to Kiyosumi, letting his hands wander where they shouldn't be. You feel as if you're not in a place of power, in a high enough authority to say anything. Maybe if you just keep your mouth shut he'll leave you alone, right?

It's better to just ignore how his hand slowly creeps down, down, down, settling on your ass, cupping the fat, and squeezing; to ignore how his eyes linger on your cleavage, which you've covered as much as possible, not wanting any attention from Kiyosumi. Or how he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing his chest to your back, forcing you to feel ever muscle, the raw power they hold.

Though Kiyosumi is weak in the grand scheme of things; you don't know that, so he uses that to his advantage, forcing you into compromising situations. You're clearly not comfortable with his advantages, tugging on his hand when he caresses your waist, his sweaty hands practically leaving stains on your light sundress.

He chooses to ignore when you actively lean away from him, not wanting to catch a whiff of his alcohol-drenched breath, no gum can fix his rank breath. The grease colllecting in his onyx hair, made the gel shine a little too much.

Kiyosumi is just gross, and clearly not a ladies' man. Hell! You doubt that Kiyosumi has even interacted with a woman who isn't his mom! But you'd never tell him that, you don't think you'd survive the stare he'd give you seconds after. Living for others' approval has been your goal since you were a little girl, and seeing such a disapproving stare would break you.

But that's what Kiyosumi likes about you. You're just so soft, so nice, and sweet. You'd never undervalue him like all the other women do, like Doppo does. No, you wouldn't do that to him, you're far too kind for that (he acts like he knows you better than you know yourself).

Kiyosumi will try to pressure you into advancing your "relationship" at a rapid pace. At one moment, he's following you around work, trying to get your number and the next he's sleeping in your bed, hogging the blanket like an ass.

It makes your head spin and knees quake. Your life has spun upside down, no longer looking the same as just a few months ago. Kiyosumi has weaseled his way into your life, securing himself in your home like a leech.

Now he can make sure that no other man is getting even close to you. No, no, no you cannot even speak to other men. Kiyosumi wants your eyes on him, and only him. He's not letting you go, not after he's found the jackpot, you. You're the only person who's "appreciated" him on this level; you're like his sweet, little honeypot, that only he has. He doesn't want to share his new toy with the other boys, not when you're so damn cute.

UGH! He's literally the definition of an ICK. I hate him so much because, c'mon angel face, don't you know we're in this together? All you have to do is trust me, and let me take the reins, yeah? Just let me be the man. Now, just sit your cute ass down, and shut your mouth.

[kayina-san]

[d4rk-x-w0lf-17]

i love me a sleep deprived man who looks like he drinks 20 red bulls a day and is on the verge of a mental breakdown as he fist fights god in a denny's parking lot

[story-kat]

Art by  幽院

Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)

[tobeflyhaikyuu]

and if i post a daiharu fic out of the blue today? Is the fandom still alive?

[marcarella-pizza]

I think I have a thing for dark haired, blue eyed, broody, emotionally constipated, sons of wealthy men and their slightly older, incredulously bombastic, lighter haired counterparts. <3

[ivyines]

I know we all already noticed the similarities between Spy x Famaily and buddy Daddies but personally I would love to see crossover between then and Millionaire Detective.

Kids aside, 2 detectives, 3 assassins and a spy together would make such a cool plot!

[fic-prompts-feel-free-to-use]

Katou Haru gets turned into a cat and is found by Suzue. Who doesn't know it's Haru.

Queue Mr. Lovestruck Idiot himself (Daisuke) agonizing over the strange disappearance of his partner (crush) and how all the money at his disposal can't solve the problem, all while venting to his cousins cat who is getting increasingly frustrated with the whole ordeal.

[1989nihil]

KATŌ FRIGGIN LIED TO THAT KID IN EPISODE THREE!

He's offered his onigiri to the kid and said, he had been plannig to get some soba noodles at the station anyway.

BUT!!!

Here he is, eating a steamed bun or similiar, when the station's PA-System anounces a problem on the Shinkansen track, the same track Katō has just gotten off from.

If he'd went for Soba, as he told the kid, he would been sitting at the soba restaurant when the alarm went off. But nope. He about to exit the station with a pork bun.

Dude lied to the kid, becaus he heard his stomache growl and was like "aight, yeah, looks like this kid's heading further than I am, and is hungry. Gonna give him this onigiri, and I'll just grab a quick bite at the station instead, when I get off the train..."

He's been self-less and kind this whole goddamn time, and he's too blinded by his trauma to see his own actioans and... awww shit i am rewatching fugou keiji aren't I?

[daisukekato]

Daisuke : Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Haru : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

[bruh-incoming]

Disgruntled wet cat katou haru

Every time he looks a lil upsetti spaghetti I imagine him with lil kitty ears stuck in the rain.

Look at this man and tell me I'm wrong.

[ao3screenshotss]

[aibouism]

that katou haru dude is so very sopping wet cat-coded and also so very malewife

[faultycrosswire]

fkbu, haruhoshi — cut a six inch valley

M | 1/1 | 938 words | plotless drunk sex