#k1ngdingus
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" now i can't breathe, and i can't sleep. " said @k1ngdingus , and you don't know what to say. you had never been the greatest at putting the ache inside your chest into coherent sentences, becoming an enigma that even you could not decipher, pouring out your heart in between metaphors and long running sentences, perfected with a laugh to ensure it wasn't ever taken too seriously, that everything was actually okay, that the hope in seventeen was still in reach, that the rest of your life was still sitting on the horizon, just waiting for you to reach out and touch it. but recent events left you reeling, left catastrophic damage in its wake that you weren't sure recovery was quite an option, that the life that was promised to you in college brochures and old movies was slowly fading away like ink from years ago. now— - your anchor, the reason that you had been able to keep on going after starcourt, the other half of you left himself unravel into a string of confessions that you had become used to hearing over late nights after door was closed on kids who needed someone to be strong, someone to follow in example of. moments like this were tucked away, bedroom turned confessional not to be mentioned when the sun rose, sworn to secrecy as if you had anyone else to tell. "okay, well we just need to think about this logically, alright? break it down."
a pause, mind turning like cogs. what helps you does not help him, you think about how you've helped countless times before. you stop your pacing, let your breaths fall into time with his as if inserting yourself directly into his mind; as if you were a person and not an all sucking vortex. "can you not breathe because you can't sleep, or can't sleep because you can't breathe?" wrong choice, shaking your head as if in a battle with yourself, you begin again— "i'm going to rule out heart attack unless you have some chest pain you've decided not to tell me about, okay? are we in agreement?"
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he hates the way he knows he's blushing. can feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck & across flushed cheeks as @k1ngdingus speaks up from behind him. he watches joyce go before he clears his throat & adjusts the weapon on his shoulder before he turns around expecting to meet the smug face of one steve harrington. he's not sure what kind of expression the younger man is wearing, too many things are trying to make themselves known ( smugness, elation perhaps, & a lot of something that looked a lot like it's about damn time ) & with arms folded across his chest, you'd think their roles were reversed & hopper was a teen who'd just been caught by a parent when the dropping you off at home goodnight kiss extended past the porch light's flashing warning. ❛ guess i don't need your help anymore, huh ? ❜ he hadn't searched it out in years now ... not since he'd taken in el & not since steve was no longer a regular in the back of his blazer. still, he can't help but toss the jest out ━ the callback to lives neither one of them lived any longer. he likes to think they've both come a long way from who they were & while it might still be hard to look at his own reflection & see something he's proud of, he can honestly say when he sees that harrington kid, he sees someone he's proud of.
❛ but don't go asking me any of them weird questions like you used to got it ? ❜ his face turns into something serious but there's still something teasing playing across his features. ❛ i didn't answer 'em then & i'm not answering 'em now. this one's ... different & if we get out of this, i'm hoping it's forever. ❜
prompt : so… that's new.
#djsfhsdkfjh i cant stop thinking about that idea of steve setting hopper up <3#k1ngdingus#⁰⁰⁵ writing.#⁰⁰⁸ s4.
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' hey, aren't you supposed to be running interference for me? ' ↪ @k1ngdingus : malia.
❛ aren't you supposed to shut up and look pretty ? ❜ it could hardly be considered a quip, for her eyes are steeled and her teeth gritted as the words hiss out of them. he'd be naive to take the compliment. and maybe he is. her first and most intuitive thought is to roll her eyes and huff. men. but she corrects herself from that oh, so lydia - like train of thought and amends. humans. for they are all so prone to impatience, so quick to jump the gun and even quicker to fire it. ❛ a little trust never hurt anybody. let me do my job. ❜ she raises her brows then, as if expecting a retort in protest. and maybe he will.
#k1ngdingus#just a lil thing for u <3#( * malia tate / writings. )#( * howl. find your wild. be your own refuge. / re: malia tate. )
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@k1ngdingus : breathe - sender helps receiver get through a panic attack .
when had girlhood turned gun - wielding ? for months . . . years now , nancy had swallowed down the idea that nothing would ever be quiet again , forcing routine normalcy in internships , summer romance and college plans . she placated a racing mind with pleasantries and planning - early acceptance to emerson , busying herself with the school paper - whatever kept that familiar feeling of gut - wrenching guilt from creeping into the back of her throat to swell it up until she couldn’t breathe . whatever keeps the nightmares at bay . and losing this girlhood , the innocence of high school and prom planning , it was an accepted fate . but it hits differently watching max succumb to the same path , in the face of something far worse , and as she sits in preparation for the loss of innocence as a result of whatever war they would be starting that night the weight of it all seemed to grow a thousand times heavier than it had ever felt before . her shoulders were only so strong .
with quiet encouragement nancy excuses herself away from max and silently past the duo crafting bombs trailer - side , she’s careful not to let the rickety door slam shut behind her . suffering in silence was all she had known , what she preferred - the less attention the best but body language tells all their is to know . stiff arms wrapped tightly around her own frame , shoulders and chest rigid as her breath is held until the moment the accordion door to the world’s smallest bathroom is slammed closed . the claustrophobic tightness only restricts her airways further , squeezing a sputtering breath from her lungs as it settles deep into the marrow of her bones - this time was different . the start of something bigger than they had ever been faced with before . the beginning of the end of the world . chest heaves to gulp down air that didn’t seem to make it to her lungs , the sting of tears swiped quickly , harshly from cheekbones before fingers fall to grip the sides of an ugly cream colored porcelain sink until knuckles are white .
the knock that rattled the plastic door nearly sent nancy jumping out of her skin , but steve’s voice never fell on ears with bitterness - even now as he asks if she’s alright theres a caring calmness to his tone that she used to look forward to be wrapped up in at the end of a long day . it’s enough to make uneven breaths hitch in her throat , nancy willing - no , forcing herself to utter an answer that promised she was just as collected . “ yeah , give me just a sec . . . ” to gather her dignity and lift her chin up and waltz back out to whatever group of misfits she had found herself among as the fearless leader she was . but her voice leaves nothing to the imagination as it shakes , and steve harrington isn’t one to let things go ignored . nimble fingers move to grip the door handle as quickly as he rattles it again and as it’s effortlessly pulled open nancy takes the single step she’s allotted backward , distance created as though it’d conceal the trembling in her hands . “ i said just a second . . . ” it’s pathetic now , the charade she stands by even as she refuses eye contact . even as jaw tensely twitches . “ i just need a minute , okay ? " it’s permission that she asks for now, tone once quick , harsh even , now melting into something muddled with sadness and worry . nostrils flare to harshly steal the air from the space between them , her lungs needed it more than his , and finally wet doe eyes are lifted to his big brown hues - she never could resist the way they warmed her inside . “ i just need a minute . . . ”
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* from @k1ngdingus : IF YOU CAN’T WALK I’M GOING TO HAVE TO CARRY YOU , ALRIGHT ? WE CAN’T STAY HERE .
the pain is more than vivid , stretching through your leg &* growing like a vine . it awakens you , gives you recognition to the bug in your chest that has questioned your own existence for a while ( it would be easier if this life was just a dream , if the pain &* loss was ONLY that , though you’re well aware of the fact that this reality is all you have ) . “ damn it . ” you whisper under your breath , frustration evident in flared nostrils - you’d hate to slow him down , be the weight that sits in his arms &* on his chest , but you know him well enough . no is not an answer , refusing is not an answer . “ alright , c’mon . hurry steve . ” arms reach out around him , clinging on deeper than skin - you won’t die here ( although the pain stretching , reaching , grabbing makes it feel as though death is at your front door ) . “ thank you . ”
#* filed ( k1ngdingus ) / steve harrington .#* filed ( nancy wheeler ) / interaction .#the girlies who get them get them and we are girlies who get them
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WHAT’S ON JIM HOPPER’S IPHONE ? ↳ ft. STEVE HARRINGTON @k1ngdingus temp.
#!!!!#╰ ‘ 𝘏𝘌 𝘞𝘈𝘚 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘚𝘈𝘔𝘌 𝘈𝘚 𝘐 𝘈𝘔 ━ ���𝘙𝘖𝘔 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘚𝘈𝘔𝘌 𝘒𝘐𝘕𝘋 … ’ › k1ngdingus.#k1ngdingus#tagged may rb.
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❤️ + k1ngdingus!
oh my god, one of my faves asking me to talk about one of my faves! genuinely, what can i say about kristen that she doesn’t know already? i absolutely adore her portrayal of steve, but again, i love her portrayal of every single muse she writes. we met in her ace blog and i have been following everywhere and anywhere since and i am so, so glad i have. kristen is kind and funny and caring and one of the most talented and wonderful people i have met on indie. i am thankful to be able to call her my friend and my writing partner, even if she is constantly breaking my heart with gifsets and random headcanons for sta/ncy (though i return the favor all the time!) but genuinely kris deserves the world and i’d give it to her if i could, but i can only give her links to sta/ncy fics, na/ce bts pictures and my love (which she has)
send me a heart emoji + url for positivity / @k1ngdingus.
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❝ look, i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here. ❞ - @k1ngdingus
𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - accepting !
𝐒𝐇𝐄 looks up at steve before glancing around at the empty scoops ahoy. looking back down at the nearly empty cup in front of her, she lets out a breath before looking up at him again. ❝ you might as well sit, it’s going to be a long story and a lot of complaining. ❞ she lets out a soft, humorless chuckle, leaning back in her seat.
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 shakes her head, ❝ they fired us, but i KNOW i’m right. ❞ she chews thoughtfully on her lip for a moment, looking at steve. ❝ i know that everyone else gets to live normal lives, that they don’t know to be wary of the strange stories because to them they’re just strange stories, but i know better. we know better. am i crazy? looking for monsters that aren’t there? ❞
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... i say, quoting from ᵀᴴᴱ ˢᶜᴿᴵᴾᵀ, but also meaning it. [...] i honestly think that i’m a misanthrope by accident 𝑜𝑓 geography, not by 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. — - independent portrayal of robin buckley from stranger things. largely headcanon based and portrayal exclusive with @k1ngdingus. written by zawn/𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-¹/they-them
⁽ ¹ ⁾ old slides ⁽ ² ⁾ sideblog ⁽ ³ ⁾ pinterest
#uses the beta editor. est:may2022#important note: robin is nonbinary! please use she/they pronouns.
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@k1ngdingus / uoʇƃuᴉɹɹɐɥ ǝʌǝʇs.
❛ I DIDN’T TAKE ‘ KING STEVE ‘ FOR THE TYPE to shoot hoops all by himself. ❜ there is mirth in the observation but a softened legitimacy that is inescapable. these quiet hours of dusk were so often his solace, a time for nothing but the thrum of his heart and the smack of rubber ( flesh - to - floor - to - flesh ) to ground his thoughts. to channel all his worries and woes into that kinetic motion, to aim with keen eye and keener mind, and throw those anxieties away. scoring is just a bonus. steve harrington was a person of many surprises : these last few years had taught lucas to assume nothing and trust nobody. masks were running rampant in hawkins, for better and for worse. ❛ the day crowd just not your thing ? ❜ nobody said lucas didn’t have a guise of his own for this unwritten masquerade ball.
#k1ngdingus#k1ngdingus01.#hey hey HEY#this is s3 idk why i used a s4 icon shhh shhh hshsh#( * v. ▸ the sunken city ! / ╰ ✧ ◦ * ◃ a : 03. )
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rising from the dead for @k1ngdingus @b1gerror and @ch1efhops only
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* from @k1ngdingus : I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T GIVE UP
“ oh really ? ” he brings a smile to your face , sly in the way the corner of your lips pull up . you’re sure he believes in you , in a way that very few do ( on one hand you can count ) - even when you cannot do so yourself . in your mind is a little voice , constantly reminding you of your failures &* whispering joking haunts to create a spine tingling ache . no , you wouldn’t give up - rather instead willing to die for any cause , sure at least some of the time that it is something you deserve . “ well i’m glad you believed in me [ ... ] for a while there i thought we were screwed . i didn’t know what i was gonna do - we got lucky . ”
#* filed ( nancy wheeler ) / interaction .#* filed ( k1ngdingus ) / steve harrington .#context? we don't know her
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*shoving people out of the way to get into your inbox* listen up, you are actually jonathan byers, i am in awe of everything that you put out, & there's a reason that you're the only jon blog i follow. you capture what the duffer brothers couldn't even imagine accomplishing. he's yours, & you've added so much layer to him & complexity & growth that i cannot get over how incredible your characterization of him is. i'm really super grateful that i get to see you on the dash & that i get to write with you & explore this dynamic & what it could have & should have been. also you're so lovely & like so fun to talk to & i just *clutches fists* adore you
i essentially already cried over this in your dms already, but kristen i adore you so much!! you bring me so much joy on the dash, and getting to write and plot with you brings me so much joy. you make me so 🥺🥰
#k1ngdingus#I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOUUUU.#❝ 📷 » saved. / i’ll stop the world and melt with you.#❝ 📷 » out. / i don’t like this chrissy! chrissy wake up!
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𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐈𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑 : ↳ ft. @k1ngdingus , tagged may rb.
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@k1ngdingus said: a first kiss ( post season 4 )
nancy wheeler had always had one big dream: getting out of hawkins. it did not quite matter where she ended up, as long as it was away from her hometown. at first, she would dream about castles and princes and white horses, young child that she was. then she started reading books and magazines about new york city and boston and chicago and big cities full of people and information and places to visit. it was when she found emerson college. it felt right, like the perfect match. it was far away from hawkins that she would be independent but not so far that she would not be able to visit on the holidays. then the acceptance letter came and she visited campus with her mother and everything was right. until nothing was right again.
grief was nothing new to her, she had been living with it for years now. grief, fear, paranoia, anxiety, guilt. the feelings never really went away, no matter how hard she tried to pretend they did. but nothing compared to that spring break. the way eddie died, max practically did too. the way she had almost died and had almost gotten her friends killed in the process. the way the earth opened and the skies turned red with the blood of innocent people who were paying for their mistakes. they had failed, she had failed, and hawkins was paying the price. funny how much she cared for a town she had always dreamed of leaving / but it did not mean nancy wanted it destroyed either. weeks passed by after their return to chaos. weeks filled with investigating, planning, volunteering to help those in need, watching�� over her friends and family, trying to find a new normal. chaos was their new normal. with time, things got less complicated. not easy, no, never easy. but they were okay.
before nancy realized it, summer had come and it was almost time to leave. she had told no one, but the idea of going to emerson terrified her. what if they needed her while she was gone? what if something happened while she was away in college living her dream? except vecna’s voice still resonated in the back of her mind. this was her fault. she had been the reason barb, she had been the reason they had gone back to the upside down, she had been the reason they had failed / would she truly be missed if she was gone? those thoughts occupied her mind most of the time, just about 95% of it. the other 5%? well, that was when it got cliche, really.
six nuggets, a trailer and summers traveling around the country. they had not talked about it yet. heck, they had talked about everything except that. nancy had tried to bring it up, but something always got in the way. she was suspicious he had tried to, but life had been too chaotic for that conversation. as time went by, it got harder. she was leaving, he was staying. she needed to leave, he needed to stay. nancy would never ask him to wait, steve would never ask her to stay. it was... poetically painful. or perhaps it was painfully poetic. plus, it just seemed easier to enjoy what little time they had left. listen as robin talked nonstop about vickie, take care of dustin, make sure everyone was okay, go to the movies to watch top gun, sometimes even listen to music and dance around hopper’s cabin as though the world had not practically ended.
good memories. that was what nancy wanted to take with her to emerson. good memories with steve, robin, jonathan, mike, dustin, lucas, will, el. they needed good memories to make up for some of the pain. talking to steve about things just might make things awkward and nancy did not want to ruin anything else. but fate seemed to have other plans. as she was packing to leave, the brunette came across her box full of pictures and memories from when they were dating. the two of them had never had a proper breakup. it’s okay, nance. she felt too guilty to say anything else to him after that and she kept everything. even the sweatshirt from the night barb went missing. funny enough, it still smelled like steve.
hours went by, and nancy was still going over the contents of the box. it was almost time for them all to head to the shelter when steve walked into her bedroom. he did that now, they were friends ( as much as the mere word made her wince because they could never be just friends. ) startled, the brunette dropped the box: pictures of them spread around the floor, alongside every note he had ever written her. ❝ steve, i can explain, ❞ she whispered quietly, blue hues on his figure. he chuckled nervously and kneeled down to help her cleanup. right away she did the same, porcelain cheeks burning bright red. it’s okay, nance. dear lord, how she had come to hate it when he said that.
standing up, the brunette cleared her throat. ❝ we should talk about what you said back... before... you know. in the upside down? we should talk about it before i leave, ❞ she told him, walking towards the door and closing it so no one would interrupt them this time. ❝ i know i should have said something before but things were busy and complicated and... now i am leaving and... steve, please, just let me say this. please? ❞ blue hues sought his, noticing when he was about to interrupt her right before he nodded and pressed his lips together again. ❝ when you said you thought we’d work if we met for the first time right now, i think you’re wrong. you said you needed to grow up and you have, but that wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t broken up. and we wouldn’t have known what it’s like to lose each other so we wouldn’t know how much this time around matters. ❞
she swallowed dryly, taking a step closer to him. dark blue hues studied every inch of his face and god, her heart tightened. ❝ but i am leaving, steve. and i need to go. because this place is a reminder of everything i lost, it’s a reminder of barb and eddie and max and i know you don’t think it’s my fault but it feels like it is. so i can’t stay here anymore. i have to go. but i hate that i am leaving you. because i don’t wanna lose you again and i don’t wanna hurt you again. and i have been thinking about this all summer and i know i have flirted and it’s probably been unfair to you but... ❞ there was so much more she wanted to say. she was a writer, words never failed her. except when it came to him, it seemed.
instead, she allowed her hands to cradle his face as she closed the distance between them. ❝ steve, ❞ nancy mumbled under her breath, blue hues drifting from his eyes to his lips as they had so many times before. it was a question, it was a plea. and when steve did not pull away? she pressed her lips to his in a kiss. gentle at first, tentative, wondering if he would kiss her back. and then the brunette grew more confident, a hand burying in his hair as she deepened the kiss. nancy wheeler was not a religious person, but she found herself praying that he would understand what she could not say.
it felt as though the world had stopped, but eventually she pulled away. it took her a moment to open her eyes, looking at him instantly to try and figure out what he was thinking. then, in true nancy wheeler fashion, she panicked. ❝ i shouldn’t have done that. ❞ not that she did not want to, but she did not want to hurt him again. and this felt a lot like stringing him along. was she ever gonna get anything right? ❝ i’m sorry. ❞
#k1ngdingus#* ・゚◞ K1NGDINGUS * steve.#* ・゚◞ NANCY WHEELER * interactions.#* ・゚◞ ANSWERED MEME.#no proof reading or formatting bc it's too long and i'm lazy <3
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❝ just take my hand and close your eyes. pretend we’re anywhere else but here. ❞ - @k1ngdingus
𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - accepting !
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 nods her head, one hand reaching out for one of his as her eyes shut tightly. ❝ anywhere else, but here. ❞ she whispers, nodding her head slowly. ❝ got it. we’re on a beach and we’re far far away. ❞ she admits, the corners of her lips turning up slowly. her racing heart was starting to slow and for a brief moment, she was able to to forget. she was able to pretend that they really were at the beach. she could ALMOST feel the sand between her toes and smell the ocean.
𝐇𝐄𝐑 hold on steve’s hand tightens as her eyes slowly open. in reality, they were very far from the beach. they were stuck in the place of her nightmares, but her breathing had returned to normal. ❝ thank you. ❞
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