#just when you thought jolly didn't actually do it for evil reasons

[solartranslations]

AF2 Common 12/28: A Long Night

Even if they’re somewhere new, what doesn’t change is the time they spend at the bar. …It’s the start of a long night

~*Scene: Nordia Bar*~

Pace: So gooood! I’m so glad Nordia has lasagna too

Debito: Ahh, that hits the sport…Nordia has the best drinks

Luca: I can’t believe you two…a client is coming to meet us soon. Be professional

Debito: What for. I thought this was a friend, not a client

Pace: *eating*…Debito’s right! Wouldn’t she actually get mad if we acted that way?

Luca: Maybe, but…

Felicita: Who is it? A friend of yours, Luca?

Luca: Yes. You met her the other day. It’s Agata

Felicita: Agata is…

Debito: Don’t worry, Bambina. She is strict, but she won’t do anything while over a meal

Pace: Huh? She’s scolded me while I was eating before. Agata’s whip sure is painful

Agata: That was because your behavior required discipline. I don’t raise my hand to others without reason

Pace: Uwah!? Agata, when did you get here? Don’t scare us like that

Debito: Our guest of honor is finally here. You’re late

Luca: Sorry for calling you out here when you’re so busy

Agata: I don’t mind. I wanted to talk with you all too

Agata: It’s been so long since we were all together. Debito, Pace, Luca, have you all been well?

Pace: Of course! You still got your whip, Agata?

Luca: Pace, don’t be rude! That’s no way to greet someone

Debito: You could show us if you wanted. It’s been a while after all

Luca: Debito! I said not to be rude!

Agata: Haha, you really haven’t changed. They sure must be a handful for you, Luca

Luca: Yes, dealing with these two certainly is

Pace: Really? I thought Luca was the handful. Right, Ojou?

Felicita: Um…

Debito: Yeah, Bambina’s definitely had it the hardest. You tell her how much of an airhead your attendant is

Luca: Are you trying to say that my head is filled with nothing but air?

Luca: It’s not true. I think a lot about Ojou-sama, but not air…

Pace: Same thing, isn’t it?

Debito: Yeah, it is

Luca: It’s not!

Felicita: You all need to settle down…

Agata: You all are causing trouble for your lady. Pay more attention to those around you

Debito: Wow~, nice one, Agata. You haven’t lost your touch at all

Pace: Your whip sure is quick, Agata. …It’s scary though

Felicita: Um…thank you, Madam Governor

Agata: Agata is fine. No need for titles. I regret that we couldn’t talk more the other day

Agata: So I was excited at the chance to talk to you now. There’s no need to be humble, just act as usual

Felicita: Thank you, Agata

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Felicita: [There was a room for special guests in the back of the bar]

Felicita: [We were able to talk freely there]

Agata: So tell me, why did you call me here?

Debito: Well we had to say hi to you since we came out to Nordia after all this time. It’s a courtesy, right?

Agata: You’ve got guts to talk about courtesy. There’s more to it, right?

Luca: Ah, it’s nothing too important…we just wanted to see you, that’s all

Agata: —Let me put it this way then. Are you curious about the contract with Vir that I mentioned the other day?—

Pace: Why are you bringing that up? Didn’t you say you couldn’t talk about it?

Agata: I just thought it’d be a dull and pointless topic to end things on

Agata: Anyway, I have things I wanted to ask you too

Agata: If that girl with Vir really did hurt Sumire, then I can’t stay quiet about it either

Agata: It won’t sit right with me until I hear the whole story

Luca: Agata… you don’t need to worry about Mama

Luca: Though she did suffer some shock and will need to recover with rest

Felicita: We don’t know why Mama got hurt. But…I don’t think Neve is the kind of person who would do that

Agata: Right, Neve. I know of her too

Agata: Sumire is like a little sister to me. I understand why you’d blame Vir, and I have no intention of sticking up for him

Agata: But for Nordia, Vir is—

Agata: Someone we need. The basis of our contract is that Vir lends us his power

Agata: So we can’t lose him, no matter what…

Agata: I’ll say it again. I won’t get in your way. But I can’t help you either

Agata: I’m under that contract. It’s to protect Nordia—

Felicita: If it’s to protect Nordia…. Can we help with that in any way?

Pace: Yeah. If it’s something Vir can do, we might be able to help you instead

Agata: No, it’s…

Luca: You can’t talk about the details of your contract then

Debito: Any more talk is pointless. I have an idea. How about we play a game?

Agata: A game? What kind?

Debito: Chess. We used to play it a lot, right?

Agata: Hmph. Looks like you’re all quite desperate to get information out of me

Debito: As you know, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t do anything without a good reason. And I’d still only do the minimum

Agata: Huh, interesting

Agata: The masquerade is soon. We should have a match for the tournament on its last day

Debito: Then let’s make a deal. The loser will have to do one thing that the winner wants

Pace: Huh!? Should you really promise that? Every time we played against Agata before…

Agata: I’m surprised you’d bet with such high stakes against me…

Agata: Hm… did you forget our games in the past, or are you that confident you’ve improved?

Luca: Debito…are you sure? Do you have a plan?

Debito: No I don’t. It’s just the only way I can think of to get any information

Agata: Having the loser listen to the winner’s request is too obvious. You just want information on Vir, right?

Agata: How about this. The loser will tell the truth about what they’ve been hiding. You’ll be witness, Felicita…

Agata: We’ll use “The Lovers”

Felicita: You want me to use “The Lovers” to see if you’re telling the truth…

Luca: I see. Even if it was a lie, Ojou-sama’s powers will see through it

(*smirk) Debito: I’m fine with that. Let’s get started

—And then—

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Pace: Yay! Haha, I won!

Felicita: Amazing, Pace! Even Debito and I couldn’t win…

Luca: It must have been his animal instincts

Agata: I truly didn’t think I would lose. I underestimated you

Debito: Since we won, we’ll be asking the questions then. Pace, what have you got?

Pace: I’ve been curious about something ever since we started playing

Felicita: Curious…?

Pace: Yeah. We never told you about Ojou’s powers, right Agata? So how did you know that she can use “The Lovers”?

Felicita: Right

Luca: Can you tell us, Agata?

Agata: That’s simple. I heard about them from Vir. That’s all

Luca: It was from him? But we never told Vir about her powers

Felicita: Yeah, I don’t remember saying anything

Agata: You didn’t have to. He knows everything about the Tarocco…

Pace: Huh? Is Vir really that smart?

Debito: That’s not what you should be impressed about

Agata: He knows about the Tarocco you all host too

Luca: …Just how much does he know?

Felicita: Who exactly is Vir?

Agata: Vir has formed a contract with “Agata” to protect Nordia for generations

Debito: Protect it from what?

Agata: A great storm that occurs once every 100 years, “Acqua Tempesta”— (TN: storm water)

Agata: It causes much greater disasters than when a normal acqua alta raises water levels (TN: when high tides cause flooding in Venice etc.)

Agata: And Vir protects Nordia from that threat…as is our contract

Pace: But that doesn’t make sense. Vir still looks so young…

Debito: Don’t be dumb, Pace. She said it was for generations

Debito: She just means he inherited the name “Vir” like she did with “Agata”

Luca: He’s right. Even if we don’t know how old he is, a person can’t live for hundreds of years

Luca: Probably, I think…

Agata: …Yes. You’re right

Debito: So the contract you made with Vir was that he’d protect the city from the Acqua Tempesta…now it all makes sense

Felicita: So that’s why Agata says she can’t help us

Agata: I had no choice but to keep it a secret. But it’s just as you say

Agata: The next Acqua Tempesta is in January…when the New Year comes, the whole town will be washed away. We can’t stop it on our own

Agata: I will protect Nordia no matter what. It’s my reason for being “Agata”—

Felicita: Your reason for being “Agata”…?

Agata: If we survive this Acqua Tempesta, the next one will be in a hundred years

Agata: In that amount of time, I can persuade my people to move elsewhere to safety

Agata: And if technology advances enough so that we don’t have to, all the better

Agata: Time brings change and progress. But, time makes people forget as well

Agata: I wasn’t able to get my people to believe me in time

Agata: The burden I carry from my ancestors is heavy—

Felicita: Agata…

Agata: People are like pawns in God’s game

Agata: And right now, I’m a failure at carrying out my duty as a pawn

Debito: Saying that’s not like you

Pace: Yeah, it’s like you’ve gotten old, Agata

Agata: Idiot, just say I’ve matured. I’m only old enough to be your sister

Luca: You’re older than Mama though

Agata: …I thought you were a genius when you were younger, but now I know you’re just normal. Well, maybe not. I see you have a one-track mind with your Ojou-sama

Luca: Um, why am I the only one you’re saying that to?

Pace: Why don’t you like hearing that? Being obsessed with Ojou is something to be proud of!

Felicita: Pace, I don’t think she means it in a good way…

Luca: It definitely isn’t praise!

Felicita: [Agata shoulders the responsibility of Nordia and its people. No matter how hard it is, she doesn’t give up and tries to find a way]

Felicita: [Agata is strong…that’s clear to me. I want to protect Regalo too, so I send my thoughts out to its people…]

Agata: Isn’t there anyone besides Pace who can challenge me?

Luca: You’re just too strong, Agata. Strategy games like this are your forte

Agata: You’re not wrong. I couldn’t be governor if I wasn’t

Felicita: Agata…I want to play another round with you

Agata: We’ve already seen the outcome, so no. Maybe another time

Felicita: …Please?

Agata: *sigh*… Children are so tiring. If you were my son, I’d have brought out my whip

Pace: You did that to us too before

Debito: Yeah. No mercy at all

Luca: Then, how about you play against me next? Is that alright?

Agata: Yes, let’s give it a go

~*Scene: Nordia Bar VIP Room*~

Luca: It’s been so long since I’ve played chess with you, Agata

Agata: Yes, it has. And just like before, only Pace would be able to win out of the three of you

Luca: I think I’ll be joining him this time. I will win

Agata: I can’t believe you can say that while looking at the board now. Your king and queen are cornered

Luca: This is where I turn things around

Agata: Haha, very interesting

Felicita: Luca’s good at chess?

Pace: Hmm, he could get pretty far but…

Debito: Yeah, but he could never finish it. Neither of us have ever won against Agata

Luca: If I take this pawn next…

Agata: That won’t work, unfortunately

Luca: Wha?

Agata: Checkmate

Debito: Oh well. Luca lost

Luca: Another loss… You certainly are strong

Agata: Those who think too hard about their actions won’t win against me. But people who act on instinct are harder to read

Agata: I’ve won this time…but you were the ones to ask questions during the last round

Agata: I know. I’ll give you an opportunity

Pace: What opportunity?

Agata: You can do it when I’m not around, but answer one of Debito’s questions

Luca: We’ll answer Debito’s questions…?

Debito: Huh? What’s that about? I didn’t ask for you to give me your prize

Agata: Luca, you are a very stubborn man. You try to maintain balance even while fooling yourself. It’ll be easier if you break that just once

Luca: ……

Pace/Debito: ……

Agata: I will take my leave then. You all can do as you wish

Felicita: I should probably go too…

Debito: …Yeah, let’s go. I’ve got nothing to ask anyway

~*Scene: Nordia Street*~

Pace: Wow, it’s totally dark out. All the shops are closed too

Debito: It’s not that late. And isn’t this when grown-ups really start having fun?

Luca: Only for you. And if that causes you to stay in bed until noon, I think you need to reevaluate your priorities

Debito: It’s not your problem

Luca: It is. The Coins are always…

Felicita: !?

Luca: That person getting off the gondola is…

Pace: It’s definitely Vir

Debito: Perfect. We’ve got business with him after all

~*Scene: Nordia Waterway*~

Vir: Hm?

Luca: Haaah!

Vir: *laugh*…

Luca: He knocked away my attack!?

Vir: It looks like alchemy hasn’t advanced one bit

Vir: It’s the same as it was 400 years ago. No, it’s actually gotten weaker

Luca: …!

Debito: I guess Agata meant what she said literally

Pace: You mean when she said she’s known him for 400 years?

Vir: You really thought such a small flame could capture me?

(*click) Debito: Nope. These are the real goods

Vir: That’s quite the greeting. Hm? Your right eye…

>Debito Route

>Pace/Luca Routes

Vir: What a nice gem. It should last you the rest of your life. Perhaps I should sell some in my store

Vir: But, that amethyst won’t last much longer. Do you have a replacement ready?

Luca: Why would you know…we don’t need your concern. I have a replacement

Debito: Tch, you really do know everything…

Vir: That gem was made with alchemy. Is it your creation?

Luca: …

Vir: You’re even better than your teacher. You couldn’t have made that if you hadn’t watched him for so long

Vir: I’d love a gifted student too. Will you join me?

Luca: I humbly decline

(Luca: Because I have Ojou-sama) (This line is Luca route only)

Vir: Unfortunate. But, it seems those two do need you too. Now then

(*shing) Felicita: You aren’t getting away

Debito: We came all the way from Regalo to capture you

Pace: Yeah. Finding you here makes things a lot faster

Vir: Didn’t Agata tell you? You can’t touch me yet. This is Agata’s city. You aren’t the law here

Vir: And I’m not someone you can catch that easily

Vir: Haaa!

Dodge!

>Hit

(+10 Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

(*dodge) Felicita: Hah!

Felicita: Ah…

Luca: Ojou-sama! Watch out!

Luca: … L’Armonia della Luce!

Vir: Haha, you can run if you like. I’m not in the mood to fight you today

Felicita: Well I am!

Vir: Stubborn aren’t you…fine then

Debito: You’re fighting me too. So don’t turn your back!

Felicita: Debito! I’ll cover you!

(*whish) Felicita: Yah!

Attack!

>Hit

(No Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

Vir: Guh…

Vir: That’s all you’ve got?

Vir: You have to mean it if you’re going to attack me. And you won’t catch me anyway

Pace: If you’re just going to run away, doesn’t that mean you’re actually weak?

Vir: I’m running for your sake. If you hit me with your powers, punishment will befall you

Felicita: Punishment…

Debito: You’re not going to trick us with a joke like that

Vir: Is it really a joke?

Pace: If you won’t attack, then I will!

Pace: Hyaaah!

Vir: Hah, that won’t hit me…

Debito: Didn’t I tell you already? You’re not just fighting one of us!

Debito: Hahaha!

Vir: Those bullets won’t work on me. I’ll just erase them

Felicita: No you won’t!

(*whish) Felicita: Haaah!

Attack!

>Hit

(+10 Amore)

>Miss

(-20 Amore)

Vir: Guh…Right. You’re here too

Vir: Where are you aiming?

Vir: …So tiring. This is all the time I have for you today

Vir: Haaah!

Luca: All of you, get away from Vir!

Luca: I’ll block his attack, so get behind me!

Felicita: Right…!

Luca: Guh…

Vir: See you tomorrow then

Felicita: Luca! Are you alright?

Luca: *panting*…Yes. I’m sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve fought that hard…

Debito: I am interested in one thing he said

Luca: ……

Debito: He said “You couldn’t have made that if you hadn’t watched him for so long”

Felicita: …

Debito: If this hadn’t happened, I never would have asked…

Debito: Back then…who’s side were you on?

Pace: Debito…

Luca: I…

Debito: Honestly, I don’t care what the truth is though

Pace: It feels late bringing this up now, but I’ve been hiding things too

~*Flashback: Back Alley*~

Pace: Um, because of a special trait of my Tarocco, I––

Pace: I can only live until age 30

~*End Flashback*~

Pace: I guess Debito’s been the most honest out of us

Debito: Shut up, Pace

Pace: I guess the best thing is for Luca-chan to come clean and for us to give him one good hit for hiding it?

>Luca, I want to know too…

>I think you should tell Debito and Pace

Luca: Ojou-sama…

Luca: Right. I never was good at keeping secrets

Luca: And I didn’t plan on hiding it this long either

Luca: It might make things easier if I just told the truth…

Luca: I don’t know if hearing this will help them

Luca: But I think it will be better for me

Luca: It hurts to keep this a secret. …I just want to tell you

Luca: This is the opportunity that Agata gave us

Luca: I’ll tell you…about the secret I’ve been keeping

Luca: Back then, I had a lot of feelings that I had a hard time putting into words

~*Flashback: Bedroom*~

Debito: Uw, ahhhhh!

Pace: Debito!? Where are you?

Luca: I can’t see him…but I can hear him. Are these Debito’s Arcana powers…?

Debito: *panting*…

Pace: Ah! There’s blood near the bed… Debito, are you there?

Debito: Uaa, Pace…

Luca: If I could see you, I could neutralize your powers with mine, but I can’t touch you like this

Pace: Ah! I see him! Debito, can you hear me? Debito?

Debito: ……

Luca: He’s not conscious. And his right eye is bleeding…he hit himself on that pillar…

Luca: Hurry, Pace! At this rate, Debito will…

Pace: But where should we…

Luca: We’ll take him to Jolly

~*Flashback: Alchemy Room*~

Pace: Jolly! You have to help Debito!

Debito: Guh…ahh…

Jolly: …What happened

Luca: Debito’s powers are out of control. He struck his eye against a pillar…

Luca: He settled down after losing consciousness, but he hasn’t woken up yet

Jolly: His powers…

Pace: Jolly, what’s going to happen to Debito?

Jolly: He’ll die if we don’t do anything. He must not have the emotional strength to handle his powers

Luca: …No way

Pace: I don’t want Debito to die! Since you experiment all the time, can’t you save him!

Jolly: …I have an idea. But I can’t guarantee that it will work

Jolly: Do you still want to save Debito?

Pace: Of course we do!

Luca: Yes…

Jolly: Good. I’ll get started

Jolly: We’ll put this gem in Debito’s right eye. It will amplify his emotional strength to make up for what he lacks

Luca: An amethyst…

Pace: You’ll stick that in him!?

Jolly: He won’t be able to use his eye anymore either way. This is better than dying

Debito: Ahhhhhh….!!!

Jolly: This should last for a while

Pace: Thank you, Jolly

Luca: Thank you

Luca: Jolly…

Jolly: Pace already left. Was there something else, Luca?

Luca: I know you saved Debito…but will he really be alright like this…

Jolly: Hmph, I don’t plan on leaving this be. You’ll be paying me back for saving him

Jolly: …How about this. From now on, you’ll have no contact with Debito or Pace

Luca: Wha…

Jolly: Or you’ll help me with my experiments again. It’s an equivalent exchange. You’ll pay me back one of those two ways. The choice is up to you

Luca: …I…

~*Flashback: Bedroom*~

Pace: Don’t worry us like that, Debito. I told you not to push yourself

Debito: Yeah, but I had to. I’m not good at staying put

Luca: Calm down, you two. Debito’s awake, and that’s all that matters

Luca: I’ll be going now. I’m doing a little favor for someone

~*Flashback: Alchemy Room*~

(*knock knock)

Luca: It’s me

Jolly: Come in…

~*End Flashback*~

Luca: My…heart was always with you two, but I was acting on Jolly’s orders

Luca: I stayed to protect you. But, it’s true that I was still observing you as directed by Jolly too

Luca: I wanted to protect you, but still felt guilty. I thought protecting you was my duty

Luca: And it’s why I feel so conflicted into inaction now

Luca: And then, Ojou-sama’s powers went out of control

Felicita: …!

Luca: I was ordered to live with Ojou-sama, and went to that small house with her and Sumire-sama

Luca: I had a peaceful life there. And that’s when I realized that I was making up for what I did to you two…

Luca: It’s because of Ojou-sama that I found the strength to accept myself

Luca: It’s thanks to Ojou-sama…that I realized what I should protect

Luca: I’m the weakest one out of us. I just couldn’t live on if I lost even a single one of you

Felicita: Luca…

Luca: ……Is that all you wanted to know?

Felicita: Luca…!

Luca: Wah! O-Ojou-sama…

Debito: You shouldn’t be crying at your age

Pace: Yeah. You’ve hit a milestone so you really should grow up

Felicita: Luca, how could you keep smiling before now?

Luca: Because…you all…were with me

Debito: Oh get a grip! Pace, let’s throw Luca in the canal!

Pace: Okay! Heave-ho!

Luca: *bubble bubble*…

Felicita: Luca, are you okay!?

(*splash) Luca: *cough*…

Debito: Yeah, he wouldn’t drown

Pace: Yup. That’s his punishment from us instead of getting hit

Debito: Yeah I figured

Luca: You weren’t going to let me get washed away, right!?

Debito: Okay, let’s head back

Pace: Oh wow Luca, you look just like Dante. Let’s go, Ojou

Felicita: O-okay…

Luca: Can you at least pull me out of here!!!

~*End of Scene*~

(Continue to Common Route December 31 (Pace Route)) Coming Soon!

(Continue to Debito Chapter 4)

(Continue to Luca Chapter 5)

(Back to Directory)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕