#just wanted to share my two cents which is also sort of a hc

[hellodahliah]

so this whole thing about nervous getting his real name in this EP: even if he got a real name he would probably be so used to be called "nervous subject" so if someone used his real name talking to him he wouldn't even react or notice the person talking to him.

although he was born with a different name given to him by his mother, he has been a nervous twitchy test subject for so long his memories from before that are long gone along with his name.

[timeslipselfships]

Shaky Next Step A Ruv (FNF: Mid-Fight Masses) Self Ship Fic

A/N: AAAAASHWAIKAAFS I actually did it holy hell, my first ever proper self-ship fic.

Also @prick-o yer hcs inspired this bless

-

It had been about two months since Kay found themself indefinitely staying at the church. A strange thing to think about as it wasn't like they were being held captive here, but as long as they didn't have any identification, money or means of contact with their family they didn't have anywhere else to go. They were but a simple tourist who had won a week-long trip to Moscow, Russia, in a raffle they had entered on a lark. It was the furthest they'd ever been from home but it was as exciting as it was nerve-wracking.

The trip was pretty great at first, a nice hotel, delicious local cuisine and beautiful architecture abound.

Around three days in, however, things fell apart.

Kay had been attending a local concert that went on to late in the night. They knew the area by now but the darkness of night tended to make things startlingly unfamiliar. It wasn't a far walk from their hotel but they couldn't help but feel anxious as they passed the shadowy alleyways and dark buildings. Next thing they knew they felt a hand on their shoulder and they were pulled into one of those very alleys. They felt a knife pointed to their chest as the thuggish figure demanded something their grasp on Russian didn't quite comprehend, but likely was along the lines of "Your money or your life."

Kay should have screamed for help, they should have just given him their bag and ran. They didn't do either of these things.

Instead, Kay lifted their leg and kicked him square in the groin. It was pure fight or flight instinct. For good measure they took their bag off and beaned him in the head while he was clutching himself and heaving.

Huh, never thought they'd react quite like that. Kay almost felt proud of themself for teaching the thug a lesson. At least until they found themself surrounded by a whole group of similarly dressed and armed figures.

Kay didn't even get a chance to curse themself out internally before something large and metallic hit the back of their head.

-

The next time Kay awoke their vision was blurry. They were lying somewhere cold... very cold. They could see the vague shape of trees and... snow. They heard vague yelling and struggling as they tried to sit up, to no avail as they were simply too weak and fell back in the snow.

The last thing Kay saw as their vision faded once again was a tall, imposing figure decked in grey looming over them.

-

That was the man Kay would later come to know as Ruvzayat, or Ruv for short. He had come across the thugs carrying their unconscious body through the wilderness, likely looking to leave them to the elements to die. He had intervened and saw them off (rather violently) before taking them to the church they currently resided in. There they’d meet Sarvente, or Sarv, who did her best to treat their wounds and make them comfortable before they woke back up.

It was definitely a shock as Kay woke up in a strange, somewhat run-down looking church. They had always been rather uncomfortable with religious subjects, having had more than one unfortunate experience with people using their faith as an excuse to spread hatred and cruelty. Fortunately, Sarv was every bit as kind as the good book encouraged, immediately at their side as they first observed their foreign surroundings.

Sarv was an interesting character to be sure. Doting on Kay like a concerned parent, she would always ask if they were comfortable, if they needed anything to eat or drink, if they needed new bandages or more pain medication...

Kay was indeed rather roughed up from their experience. Their worst injury was their broken left foot, currently in a makeshift cast and propped up on pillows, as well as being rather chilled from exposure to the frigid Russian air. They also had some bruised ribs and a (surprisingly only) minor concussion, alongside a myriad of minor scrapes and abrasions as well as some broken teeth. Of course they were also stripped of everything but the clothes on their back. No phone. No ID. Nothing.

Thus, Kay was left at the mercy of Sarv, who was also rather unique physically. She was almost seven feet tall with her heels, wore an oddly form-fitting nun's outfit and...

Had odd ivory white skin with streaks of pastel pink marbling, as well as large, blank white eyes.

Kay would be a pretty massive hipocrate to question others' physical appearance, they weren't anything special themselves. Nonetheless, this was still something that gnawed at their mind.

Then, there was Ruv. He was arguably even more doting of Kay, without fail appearing every waking hour making sure they were in need of nothing. He was surprisingly quiet despite his appearance, seeming to appear without a sound. And even with his deep, bassy voice he'd always talk just above a whisper. Taciturn and blunt yes, but he seemed to care just as much as Sarv.

If only Kay knew it would become so much more.

-

Indeed, Ruv was oddly determined to find the rest of those thugs and show them what petty, cheap thievery would truly earn them. Even in his criminal career, he only targeted either other gang members or those that could defend themselves. He didn't look on his past fondly but he liked to think he had some standards, of a sort.

But for now, that could wait. For now, making sure this stranger, Kay, was safe and healing, was more important.

He wasn't sure why he was so concerned about this Kay figure. His best guess was that seeing this simple civilian being dragged around by some wannabe crooks to be left to die alone... angered him. A rare kind of anger that seeped through his soul and made his blood white hot.

He wouldn't, couldn't, just leave them be.

And now, a mere three days later, he kept having to check in. Less to make sure Kay was taken care of, but to keep them off their feet and resting.

He was shocked the first time he saw Kay trying to walk on their bum leg. Clearly struggling and practically dragging themself using a pew for balance.

"what are you doing."

Kay stiffened briefly at his voice before relaxing somewhat.

"I c-can't just sit around and watch you two runnin' about..." Kay stammered out, sharply inhaling as they took another quivering step. "Let me d-do somethIINGggH!" They choked out as their knee suddenly buckled.

Ruv was right on top of them, arms around Kay before they hit the ground. They couldn't help but blush at the contact as Ruv carefully scooped them up bridal-style and brought them back to the mattress they had spent their stay on.

"stay here."

Kay let out a sigh.

"You sure you don't want me to do anything?"

"just rest."

Kay hated this. They felt like little more than a burden loafing around like this. Surely they could walk a little bit by now...

"...you really want to help?"

Kay nodded.

Ruv left the room without a word. Kay sat there awkwardly, worried they had offended him somehow. However, Ruv soon returned with an armful of papers, setting them on a nearby pew.

Kay blinked curiously before being scooped up once again and placed next to the pile, soon surrounded once again by blankets and pillows as they were made comfortable as possible in their new seat.

Ruv pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Kay before pointing to the stack of papers.

"fill in the names."

He handed Kay the first paper in the stack which contained a list of names.

"one each. put them aside when you're done."

Kay took a quick look at the papers. Some kind of newsletter. How quaint.

"you... k with that."

Kay, for the first time since their arrival, beamed.

"That's the name!"

It took Ruv a moment to process the joke before giving an ever so subtle ghost of a smirk.

As Ruv turned around, Kay called out to him.

"A-and... uh... thank you..."

Ruv turned his head slightly.

"...no. thank you."

Kay blushed again as they quickly turned to their work, unaware of Ruv quickly retreating to hide his own matching shade of pink.

-

And now, the two were surprisingly close, much to Sarv's delight. She had wanted Ruv to open himself up more to others for a long time and their new guest seemed to click well with him.

It wasn't unusual to see the two of them sharing a comfortable silence together. Sometimes Kay would be face down in a book as Ruv simply seemed to be in his own little world, before Kay would pipe up with something they found particularly interesting, with Ruv making a grunt of acknowledgement before sometimes adding his own two cents.

It was... peaceful. And true to their word, Kay was more than willing to help with whatever needed doing in the church, whether it be paperwork like before or, as their injuries healed, physical labor. Carrying boxes of donations, sweeping the hall etc.

Kay felt they could never truly repay the two for saving their life, but for now, this would have to be enough.

Today however, was a quiet, relaxing one. No chores were in need of immediate attention, nothing scheduled, and Sarv was out in town today, so the two were content to simply sit in the church hall and talk whatever came to mind.

"I'm just sayin', we know more about outer bloomin' space than we do the ocean. Who's to say what's down there?"

"so you're saying there's still megalodon out there."

"No, no. I'm saying it's entirely possible some descendant of megalodon adapted to life in the deep ocean. Megalodon is extinct, but a new, different species of mega-shark lives on in their stead."

"ah."

Neither one was really sure how they got on to this topic, nor did they really care. Just listening to Kay talk at length about something they evidently cared about was enough to make Ruv happy.

Their peaceful banter was suddenly interrupted as the large double wooden doors of the church burst open. Both immediately turned to see an unfamiliar figure. Kay briefly feared it was one of their thugs coming to finish the job, but soon found he didn't have the same "uniform" those petty crooks wore, just some off-brand trackwear and knit beanie.

The man looked around the place with a confident smirk and his hands in his pockets as he walked towards the pair.

"Nice place. Little plain but that can be fixed. I'll take it." He punctuated his last statement with a cocky grin towards the two.

"What?" Kay remarked.

"I said I'll take it." The man rolled his eyes like he was talking to an idiot. "This joint'll make a nice little hangout for me an' the boys."

"Wh- you can't do that!" Kay stood up before pausing "Uh... Can he?" They asked their tall, silent companion.

"'Course I can!" The man made his way towards Kay, pulling something shiny and metal out of his pocket. Kay felt their hackles raise thinking it was a weapon until...

A... microphone?

"Unless you wanna rap for it." The man said with a toothy grin.

"...What?"

Kay looked wide eyed between the mic, the man and Ruv. No one moved. The man's expression didn't falter.

Oh... he was serious.

Not only that, but according to Ruv's reaction, or lack thereof, this was not an unusual means of conflict resolution.

"Whoa, whoa, wait!" Kay raised their hands defensively. "I don't think you get it! I can't sing or dance or anythin'!"

"So you forfeit?" The man's slimy smile made Kay's skin crawl. "Guess you better pack your bags then."

Ruv evidently had enough, as he stood from his seat to his full towering height and soon stepped between the two.

"this is a sacred place." Ruv glared down towards the interloper. "show respect or leave. your choice."

Kay saw Ruv's hand leave his pocket revealing a microphone of his own. Did... did he have that on him this whole time?

The man snorted back laughter looking Ruv up and down, seemingly unintimidated. "Big man gonna hafta protect his widdle pwincess?"

Ruv's eye narrowed. "last chance."

"Pffft..." The man mocked. "Bring it stringbean!"

Kay retreated back a few as the two combatants stepped away from each other. They were about to question things further until the speakers installed in the church walls suddenly sprang to life as if on cue.

Kay was about done questioning things at this point. Or so they thought.

The first few verses passed by quickly as Kay had a hard time keeping up with the lyrics, thanks to both the speed of the song and the fact that the two seemed to be singing in their native language, Kay not being nearly versed enough to fully follow.

Ruv had a surprisingly nice voice all things considered. Made them wish he sang more often.

Then there was a brief pause. Ruv took a breath.

If Kay had a hard time following beforehand, they definitely were completely lost now. As Ruv sang, his voice was nearly incomprehensible at the sheer volume. The building shook and his opponent had the expression of someone who had made a massive mistake as he stumbled, grabbing onto a nearby pew to maintain balance against this pure vocal force.

For his part, he tried to continue, albeit rather shaken and fumbling his words. He... tried.

Ruv didn't relent, continuing his lyrical assault as he marched towards his foe, his footsteps seemingly in time with the rhythm, giving the impression of the quaking being caused by his very approach. The man finally lost his balance and fell. Ruv loomed over his opponent as he gave pause for the thoroughly shaken man to retaliate.

"Ah… eh… I..." The man stuttered and mumbled before dropping his mic with a feedback ladden clang.

An eerie silence fell.

Then, a noise, a mundane, inconsequential sound that had no right to carry as much dread as it did.

Click. Eeeee...

Ruv's microphone wasn't even on.

This broke something in the intruder. He scrambled to his feet and ran, clambering about on his shaking knees while yelling something along the lines of "What the hell are you!?" as he fled.

Ruv picked up the dropped microphone as he placed his own back into his pocket after turning it back off. He examined it idly as he silently walked back to Kay.

"sorry about that." Ruv simply stated as he sat down next to his shaken friend, before presenting the discarded mic to them.

"here."

"...Huh?"

"don't think he's coming back for it."

"..."

Kay quietly took the microphone, shiny and unused beyond what had just happened.

Kay looked over to Ruv only to notice him avoiding their gaze.

"...soooo..."

"..."

Kay tapped their fingers along the mic in their hands as they thought over their wording.

"That was..."

Ruv closed his eye waiting for the inevitable words. Terrifying. Monstrous. Freakish. He'd heard it all over the years.

"Awesome..."

Ruv's eye opened wide. Scratch that. He'd hadn't heard that one before.

Ruv turned to Kay, trying to read their expression for any signs of a lie. All he saw was an honest blush of bashful admiration.

"...huh."

"Yeah. I know. Weird. But..." Kay looked at their feet as they talked. "Can't say I know many folks who can make the roar of a crowd with only one man." They looked up again with a small smile.

Ruv wished he could properly smile back. "i... thanks."

"How do you do that anyway?" Kay suddenly had a look of earnest curiosity as they looked him in the eye, a rare feat for them.

"it's not exactly something you can learn."

"Don't care."

Ruv paused. He had never told anyone the origin of his voice. Never really had the chance. Only Sarv knew because she was there when it all happened.

"it's a long story..."

"I've got time."

...

"fine."

Kay smiled and turned fully to Ruv. They tucked their knees to their chin and looked on with rapt attention.

"let's see..."

-NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SECTION DEPICTS SCENES OF GUN VIOLENCE, GORE AND BODY HORROR. IF THESE TOPICS ARE TRIGGERING TO YOU OR YOU OTHERWISE WISH NOT TO SEE SUCH CONTENT, PLEASE CTRL+F AND TYPE IN 'END OF SEGMENT' TO SKIP SUCH CONTENT. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.-

It was a peaceful day at the church. Sarv had just finished dusting the hall and was looking upon the room with pride when a sudden noise burst through the afternoon air.

BANG

Sarv jumped. A gunshot? Her thoughts were soon interrupted by another bang, this time against the church doors. She rushed over only to witness them opening as Ruv's body fell like a sandbag to the floor.

"Ruvzayat!"

Sarv rushed over to her friend’s body, alarmed as she saw a fast forming pool of blood underneath.

"Ruv, please! Speak to me!"

No response.

Sarv turned Ruv's body over, gasping in shock and fear as she saw just what had happened.

Ruv's chest was absolutely eviscerated. Red, raw flesh and shattered bone were plainly visible along with a vital clue.

Buckshot.

Figuring out who had attacked Ruv and why could wait. For now, Sarv had to desperately try to save her childhood friend.

How though? Her mind blanked in panic. She could do basic first aid, but she was no surgeon. Calling for medical assistance would be fruitless, with their remote location it would take far too long for help to arrive.

She was running out of time. Ruv's breathing was weak, shallow and wet, he was fading too fast. Sarv couldn't... wouldn't lose him.

She shouldn't... using her powers like that was not only risky but would forever mark him as her indebted. In most eyes his soul would be beyond saving, damned.

Then again, she was a demon who had chosen a holy, righteous path. Maybe, just maybe, if she kept to that path, the powers that be would find room to spare him.

Sarv took a deep breath and started chanting some kind of unknowable language. Her light, charming voice started to echo with arcane power as she hovered her hands over Ruv's wound as they emanate a deep red glow which soon was shared by Ruv's injury.

Ruv's bones and flesh started to move on their own as they started to knit together and reform. His lungs and heart not only healed as the stray bullet remains were forced out, but strengthened and grew. His rib cage followed suit, and as his skin regrew around it, it became clear his overall chest area was now significantly larger.

-END OF SEGMENT-

Demon magic was always unpredictable, but it seemed that beyond some minor alterations Ruv was fully healed. Though Sarv couldn't help but wince as she saw Ruv's already pale complexion fade further as grey marbled stripes formed throughout. Not at all unlike Sarv's pink tinged patterns.

Turns out, being marked by demonic influence was quite a literal term.

Still, Ruv was alive and breathing, Sarv watching his chest steadily rise and fall with a small smile of relief. She soon got up to grab a blanket and pillow so Ruv would be somewhat less sore upon awakening.

-

Hours later, Ruv awoke with his mind in a haze. The last thing he remembered was that an old 'acquaintance' from his past had tracked him down and was more than willing to not only get some bloody revenge on him, but anyone he associated with. Naturally he couldn't let that happen.

A brief but intense brawl ensued. The would-be assailant was battered and beaten, greatly underestimating Ruv's physical strength as he attempted to wrench the gun from his opponent's hands.

However, all it took was one pull of the trigger.

Ruv had just enough strength in him to punch his foe out and stomp on the dropped weapon hard enough to render it at least temporarily unusable before his adrenaline ran low and he stumbled his way to the church doors in a daze before collapsing, completely unaware of the sheer severity of his injury.

He felt... surprisingly alright all things considered. No pain, just stiffness from laying on the floor.

Ruv sat up and looked around him. His destroyed shirt and coat had been removed alongside his hat, the latter likely had fallen off when he collapsed. He was still near the doors but found himself draped in a blanket and...

Uninjured...?

Ruv looked down at his chest. It was unmarred, no bandages, stitches or scars to be found. Instead he found his skin was even paler than before. Porcelain white as opposed to simply fair. Not only that, but grey stripes and markings dotted his flesh, covering his hands like mismatched gloves.

It didn't take long for him to realize the resemblance.

As Ruv examined himself further he realized how... strange his chest looked now. Maybe it was just because it had been destroyed in what felt like mere moments earlier, but he could swear there was a slight... vibration to it as he breathed. Putting a hand to his upper body it felt like his ribs were thicker somehow as he could feel his heart pounding with strength that wasn't there before.

"Huh..."

Odd, but nothing he couldn't live with. Whatever Sarv had pulled seemed to work better than any typical medicine.

That is, until his dry mouth elicited a cough.

As suddenly as the hack escaped his throat, the building shook.

Ruv braced himself in his sitting position as the quake ceased as soon as it began. An aftershock?

It was at that moment he realized he hadn't seen Sarv since he awoke. Normally she'd be by his side in an instant as soon as she so much as heard a sniffle, let alone anything more. He recalled the man from his past, his intent...

"SARV!"

He shouted for her as fear gripped him as he stood up, only to fall to the floor as another quake rocked the area.

Shit! An earthquake here? Now?

No... It stopped once again. What on Earth was going on?

"Shit... Shit!"

Ruv got to his feet again, one hand on his bare chest, feeling his heart pound. It didn't feel... strange or uncomfortable though. It felt like it was his normal heart rate, just... harder.

"Ruv!?"

Sarv's voice! Ruv spun to face her as she made her way down the hall.

"Sarv! Stay there! Something’s-!"

The quaking started again as Ruv fell to his hands and knees as Sarv stumbled to grip a nearby pillar. Stronger and longer this time.

Through the cacophony Ruv heard an ominous crack. He raised his head to see the pillar Sarv was leaning on splitting apart. Ruv shouted out once more, realizing too late the true source of the quakes.

"SAR-!"

Ruv clasped a hand over his mouth as the realization struck him. Once was nothing. Twice a coincidence. Three times a trend.

He... He was doing this.

From his all-fours position he could feel the force emanating from himself. He felt how his chest vibrates violently with his voice.

Something was indeed wrong... with him. His body.

His thoughts were only interrupted when a violent, grinding crunch sounded through the building, his eye looking up just in time to see Sarv disappear behind a cloud of dust and debris.

Silence...

Dread like none before filled Ruv as the dust settled. He wanted to call out to Sarv desperately, but...

His lifelong friend, the only other person in his life...

She'd saved his life, and he'd taken hers...

Sarv emerged from behind the pillar, mere inches away from being crushed beneath it. She looked to where she last saw Ruv only to see him curled up on himself, eye wide and teary as he tried his best to hold back sobs. She hadn't seen him in such a vulnerable state since they were both but children on the streets.

"Ruv... Ruv it's okay. I'm right here."

Sarv startled as Ruv shifted away from her as soon as she made herself known. He looked at her with fear and remorse, silently begging her to stay away.

Sarv refused to have that.

She approached Ruv as he closed his eye and curled up further, though he didn't resist as Sarv draped herself over him in a tight embrace.

"It's okay. It's okay... I'm fine, see?"

Sarv tried to get a look at Ruv's face but he evidently was avoiding her gaze, shame clear on his features.

"It's alright Ruv. We'll figure this out. I promise."

The two sat there in silence for a long time, letting the events of the day fade into memory as they made a silent reaffirmation of their friendship.

They'd adapt. Just like they had before and inevitably would again.

-

Apparently, when Sarv healed Ruv's fatal wounds, she also effectively supercharged the affected area, resulting in Ruv now having far more powerful lungs, heart and vocal chords than any regular human. Naturally, Ruv didn't have any knowledge regarding how to handle these changes, thus a long, difficult learning process.

Kay sat in silence as Ruv concluded his story. His face was hard to read, on one hand it wasn't fun revisiting some of his more painful memories. He hated how vividly he remembered the horror of potentially losing Sarv twice in the same day, both as consequences of his actions. On the other, it felt kind of... nice. Like he was getting something off his chest.

Which Kay wasn't very good at hiding her wandering gaze at from him.

"Sooo... I guess you figured out how to control it?" Kay said after realizing they'd been caught staring with a blush, trying to change the subject.

Ruv hummed in response.

"yeah. didn't talk at all for a while. sarv wouldn't stand for that for long however."

"How'd you go about it?"

Ruv considered for a moment.

"singing, honestly."

At first Kay wanted to question this, but reconsidered. It wasn't that odd really. Singing did require a lot of vocal finesse. Controlling one's tone, inflection and, well, volume...

Sheesh... they hadn't even given much thought to the almost casual revelation that Sarv, kind, chaste, charitable Sarv, was a genuine demon. That's something they'd have to explore further at a later date.

Something else was bothering Kay now though, it was clear on their face.

"what's up."

Kay jumped slightly before blushing brightly.

"This is gonna sound really weird but... you said your, uh... chest was all different right?"

Ruv nodded, his expression stoic as ever.

"Could I... look? Justoutofcuriosity...?" Kay sputtered, knowing what their request sounded like.

"..."

"k."

Kay blinked. They didn't expect that to go over so well.

Wordlessly, Ruv shrugged off his coat, revealing his well-toned arms. Kay felt like their face was already on fire.

Next, Ruv deftly pulled his top up and over his head, managing to keep his hat in place. Kay could only imagine from practice alone as they tried to hide their flustered sweating.

"It's purely... scientific curiosity... yeah, let's go with that." Kay tried to rationalize their thoughts.

Indeed, Ruv was speaking the truth with his recollections. It almost looked like someone had taken the barrel-like, deepend thorax of a horse and just tucked it under human skin. Muscles only somewhat obscuring heavy, well-sprung ribs.

Kay found themself raising a shaky hand before pausing.

"M- May I?"

Ruv nodded.

Kay pressed their hand against Ruv's bared chest. They could feel his heart thumping against his ribcage, the slight vibrations from his breath alone.

“Woah…”

“Ah, Ruv, Kay, how are you doinOHMYGOODNESS!”

The two’s heads snapped in the direction of a beet red-faced Sarvente.

“Ah, aahah, I’ll leave you two besorrysorry!” Sarv sputtered as she backed off through the doorway she had just entered from, eyes looking… anywhere but at her two companions.

The pair instantly realised how intimate they appeared to Sarv without any context. Ruv was hurriedly pulling his top on, his expression neutral but face flushed pink, while Kay was just covering their face, barely holding back an embarrassed squeal.

They would explain, or try to, later. For now, as they caught each other's glances briefly, they quietly filed away this memory.

They would only make plenty more.