#just wanted to have them all together in one post

[weakformingyu]

Everything has changed | H.J.

Pairing: Han Jisung x fem!reader

Summary: in a game party you find out that your friend, Jisung, might have a crush on you and after that night you might have developed a crush on him too.

Warnings: Han is a loser, awkwardness, jealousy, pool sex 💅🏻, pussy eating, unprotected piv(don't do this at home), a bit of handjob.

Words count: ±3,400

THIS CONTENT IS FOR +18 PEOPLE ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: I have some weird ass writers block right now(have been like this for months 😭) but I'm not dead, I'm still alive and thinking about a hundred fics a day, I just don't seem to manage to write them 🤓☝🏻 anyways, this fic was inspired in this post because Han Jisung got some crazy biceps going on here and I'm on my biceps biting era soooo 💅🏻(don't come for me if it's trashy, I haven't written in a hundred years)

If you like my writing don't forget to reblog, comment and like too. xoxo love yall

“What do you think about Jisung?” Was the question Changbin asked when you chose truth in the game of truth or dare you were playing.

You smile sheepishly as all the boys stare at you excitedly and the girls have a little smirk on their lips, as if everyone knows something you don't.

“Hm, he's nice”, you shrug.

“You know that's not what he meant”, Ryujin says, raising a brow.

“Well, then be more specific”, you roll your eyes.

“Would you fuck him?” Karina asks, making the whole group gasp with her bluntness. Your eyes dart to Jisung, who's as red as a tomato, his bottom lips are stuck between his teeth while he stares at you anxiously.

“That's- I never thought about that, so I'm not sure”, you answer nervously. Seeing Jisung’s shoulders go down and a pout form in his lips.

“Then, there's your answer”, Karina shrugs, turning the bottle so someone else can go.

You were being truthful, you never thought about your friend in that way. You know he's handsome but you always avoid having second intentions with someone so close to you because you don't want to lose a friendship.

However, after that day and after seeing Jisung's reaction to your answer, you can't shake the feeling that maybe he's into you. You constantly catch his gaze lingering on you, when you guys are alone he keeps stuttering and even when your other friends are around, he treats you differently from them.

A few weekends after that night, Chan invites everyone to a get together in his house so everyone's going to sleep there after. Karina, Ryujin and Lia stop by your house in the early afternoon to get you so you can all go to Chan's together. When you get there, the guys are in the pool playing some sort of game, Felix and Changbin are on top of two floats, fighting while Minho is attacking Changbin with his water gun and Jisung is in the middle of both.

You stop in your tracks, watching as Jisung holds Changbins thighs, his biceps are deliciously showing and flexing as the older man falls out of the float and the younger one catches him, grabbing his bottom slightly but you can't help but wish you could be the one being grabbed by him like that.

Yes, you weren't lying that night when you said you had never thought about Jisung in that way. The problem is, that after you did, you couldn't stop. Everything he did from that night onwards caught your attention. His eyes on you, his lips, the way he smirks when someone says something dirty and he thinks no one's paying attention. The way every piece of fabric he wears hugs his body like it was made just for him. Your girlfriends are already onto you, they know something is off and they have the feeling that you finally opened your eyes to the puppy in love in your group of friends, but they decided not to say anything for now, afraid that they are going to scare you off and make you bury your new found attraction for Jisung deep in your heart, afraid to ruin your friendship.

You shake your head, listening to what the others are talking while you go inside to put your things in the guestroom Chan has prepared for you.

You spend the afternoon mostly just sunbathing while observing the guys joking around and other people arrive little by little taking your attention away from the pool.

While you eat, you can't help but notice a blonde laughing too loudly, catching your attention. She pushes Jisung playfully, throwing her head back, making you huff annoyed, you're sure what he said isn't even that funny.

“I'm gonna get some more beer, does anyone want something from the kitchen?” Jisung gets up, asking around.

“I'll help”, the blonde smiles, following him after some people ask for their beverage of choice and your eyes linger on his figure, as he walks away with the beautiful girl.

“Oh, y/n, can you get some more napkins for us?” Ryujin asks. You frown, you're sure you just saw a mountain of napkins somewhere but you have no idea where it went as you look around and can't find it.

“Sure”, you nod, getting up to go to the kitchen.

As soon as you enter the house you can hear the giggles coming from the kitchen. You take a deep breath trying to gather the courage to go inside and see something you're not sure you want to.

The girl is close to Jisung, too close for her own good, attached to his arm, practically hanging on to him. You scowl, feeling the blood in your body boiling, if you weren't sure about your feelings for your friend, you are damn sure now seeing as you're basically foaming at the mouth with the view right in front of you.

Jisungs gaze lands on you immediately when you enter the kitchen, his eyes grow wide and he takes a step back, detaching himself from the girl.

“Am I interrupting?” You ask, knowing well that you are and ignoring the glare the blonde gives you.

“Ye-” she tries to say, but is cut off by the man whose gaze hasn't left your figure since the moment you arrived.

“No”, he gulps, “what are you looking for?” Jisung asks.

“Napkins”, you say, tilting your head and leaning over the counter. Your elbows rest on the surface, purposely bringing attention to your chest.

“Just a minute”, Jisung gulps, turning around and opening the fridge. He takes out four cans of beer and gives it to the blonde. “You can go back first, I'll bring the rest in a minute”

She looks at him for a whole 10 seconds, stunned and then huffs, marching out of there.

“Your girlfriend is lovely”, you tease him, walking around the counter to get closer to him.

“She's not my girlfriend”, he laughs sheepishly, “we were just talking”

“I'm sure you were”, you say sarcastically and stare at him for a moment. “So? The napkins?” You ask.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah! Here”, he says, turning around to open the door to the cabinet on top of the sink.

Jisung’s arms look especially strong when he's flexing like that to pull the packages, it's something so mundane but it makes you blush the same way. He closes the door after and hands the products to you. “I'm going to get the beer for the others and follow you in a moment”

You nod, realizing that everything is different now that you know that you like your friend. You like Han Jisung.

You wake up the next morning feeling like shit, you tossed and turned in your bed until you finally fell asleep. You thought about all the things that could go wrong now that you liked one of your friends. What if things didn't work out between you two, you're sure it would cause a rift on your friend group.

Most people went home after midnight, Chan lets only his close friends crash in his house so you know everyone that stayed the night. Lia is by your side, yapping about what you're planning to do in the afternoon while you bite into your bread and try to not freak out when Jisung shows up in the living room. You keep avoiding his eyes, like you're guilty of something, and you definitely are, guilty of liking one of your friends.

In the afternoon you go out with Ryujin, Felix and Hyunjin, you all wanna walk around in the city and buy some clothes you definitely don't need. In the car you stare outside, your friends notice you're dozing around but prefer to wait for you to tell them if something is wrong.

After buying a new bikini, you just accompany your friends in their shopping spree. When you have no more room in the car for any more bags, you finally sit to get something to eat and while you wait for your order, you seize the opportunity to ask what's been on your mind in the last hour.

“Does Jisung like me?” You ask, you want to be sure that he doesn't want to just sleep with you.

“Where did that come from?” Felix frowns.

“That night I was asked if I would sleep with him”, you blush, “I was just wondering if he likes me or just finds me attractive”

Below the table, your fingers are pressing and scratching one another, you're nervous.

“I thought it was pretty obvious”, Hyunjin says, shrugging and getting elbowed by Felix.

“I don't think we are supposed to talk about that”, the younger one smiles awkwardly.

“Oh, please. It's not like the guy has made any effort to keep it a secret”, Ryujin rolls her eyes. “Clearly y/n likes him, that's why she wants to know”, your friend completes, laughing as your eyes grow wide. “It's not like you are making any effort to hide it either”

“Yes, he likes you”, Hyunjin says, ignoring Felix’s worries, “but he was very disheartened after that night when you said you never thought about him in that way”

‘It's a lie, but you don't need to know that’, he thinks to himself. Hyunjin is much more experienced in the love field, opposite to you and Jisung, so he knows you just need a little push for things to start working out and he doesn't mind being the one shoving you to each other.

“Oh”, that's all you can say.

That means maybe he doesn't like you anymore, right? That girl from the other night was very pretty, maybe she's his new type. She looked very girly and soft, you don't know if you would be considered any of that. Most importantly, she was clearly interested in him, maybe he wants to go after someone who doesn't reject him in front of everyone he knows.

You toss and turn once more in bed, Ryujin is sleeping right next to you and you're afraid of waking her up because you can't sleep. Your mind is so full of thoughts, a million per hour and you just can't stop thinking about how you ruined everything with the guy you like.

Even with the AC turned on, you're still hot and since you don't want to wake up anyone, you silently grab your bikini, putting it on before going to the pool.

You didn't expect to find Jisung there, he's just floating in the water with a pout on his lips and eyes closed, maybe he fell asleep?

You sit comfortably on the edge of the pool, putting only your feet in the water and watching Jisung. After a few minutes of complete stillness, the man opens his eyes, taking a deep breath and sinking into the water.

He comes back a few seconds later, back turned to you and you can't help but watch him. His back is muscular, broad shoulders with a tiny waist. When he turns around, he flinches, seeing you there, staring at him.

“I didn't mean to scare you”, you chuckle.

“It's fine”, he scratches the back of his head, “I thought I was the only one still awake”

“It's really hot, I couldn't sleep”, you say, it's not the whole truth but you're not sure if you want him to know that he's the reason you're still wide awake.

He nods, awkwardly looking around while his hands play with the water. Since that game, you both have been feeling weird near each other, you for discovering these new emotions towards your friend and him for being embarrassed that you knew about his one sided crush.

‘Maybe it's worth it’, you think to yourself. He already risked it all when he let you know about his crush, it's not the end of the world if he doesn't like you anymore, you just have to ask.

“About that night…”, you ask out of nowhere with a courage you have no idea where it came from. “Do you still like me?”

Jisung opens his mouth a few times, closing it right after, not knowing what to say. He takes a deep breath before answering.

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything”, he sighs.

“Do you still like me?” You frown, repeating your question.

“Yeah, I do”, he shrugs, embarrassed.

“I never thought about you that way before”, you say, seeing the pout growing in his lips, “but after that night I kinda did”

Jisung stares at you for a minute before speaking again.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I like you back”, you feel your whole face heating while you wait for him to react. You both are still far from each other, Jisung in the middle of the pool while you're at the edge. His eyes grow wide and his lips open like he has something to say but doesn't know how.

He starts coming close to you, your heart beating faster as the distance between you both lessens, until the man stops in front of you, his hands landing on each side of your thighs but still not touching.

“Can you repeat that?” He blushes, “I don't want you to say you like me back just because you pity me”, he bites on his bottom lip and you smile. You cup his face with your hands, bending down so you can kiss him. His lips are soft and he tastes good, sweet, like something you would never get tired of. His hands finally touch your skin, sliding to your thighs and squeezing the plushy flesh.

“If you knew me at all, you'd know I would never lie about liking someone”, you let go of him, smiling and giving him a peck before growing the distance between your faces.

“I just really like you”, he blushes, biting his bottom lip, finally letting his gaze travel down your body, going through your tits pushed up by the bikini top and going down your stomach, until it reaches your bikini bottom, his hands squeezing your thighs even more to the view of your body in front of him.

“Is that so?” You smirk, “show me then”, you smile, bending down to whisper in his ear. “Show me how much you like me”

Jisung doesn't waste any time, grabbing your face with only one hand and squeezing your cheeks, kissing you harshly. His other hand slides up, pulling the strings of your bikini bottom so he can untie the bow. He pulls away from you, leaving kisses down your neck, he has his hand down on your pussy, putting on a finger and watching your reaction to it.

You moan, grinding your hips against his hand so you can feel him deeper. Jisung has his mouth slightly opened, dazed with the little whimpers you let out when he adds another finger inside you. Your hands go instantly to his shoulders, nails burying in his skin while his other hand unties the top of your bikini, freeing your tits. Jisung watches them bounce with his bottom lip stuck between his teeth. He can't help himself, coming closer, his mouth closing on your left breast, his tongue playing with your nipple, making you moan.

His thumb slides to your clit and you bite on your bottom lip, trying not to make too much noise — at least not more than you're already making.

The man smiles, kissing down your stomach, getting closer to your pussy and you can feel his breath hitting the skin, making you tremble.

He licks a stripe between your folds, your hands fly to his hair pulling the locks. Jisung's hands slide to your thighs, pulling you more to the edge of the pool. Putting your legs over his shoulders and grabbing your ass so he can eat you out more intensely.

He looks like a man starved, the way he groans and moans just by feeling your taste. Jisung is so turned on he could come just by feeling your tight pussy in his mouth. The sounds you make are divine, he can't believe he gets to hear you like this, because of him, just for him.

“I- I'm gonna-”, you can't even finish your sentence, moaning the moment you try to say more than three words.

“Come for me, baby”, he stops eating you out just to say it, going back to work as soon as the words leave his mouth, he stares at you intensely from down there, working even harder and making you come undone in his mouth.

You take a few deep breaths, eyes closed. You can't believe how good he's at this and it also makes you a bit jealous, how did he get so good?

You watch as the man cleans around his mouth with his thumb, immediately taking the finger to his mouth to lick it clean and you hold the moan that wants to escape your mouth.

“Do you want to keep going?” He asks, not expecting you to but hoping that you do.

You nod, untying the other side of your bikini bottom, throwing the piece of fabric behind you.

You take Jisung's hands in yours, guiding them to your waist as you push yourself into the water. The man holds you, kissing your lips as soon as you are close enough to him. You can feel his hard cock pressing against your thighs when he pulls you towards him, wanting to feel your body on his and you can feel the heat growing all over your body again.

You slide your hand inside his shorts, grabbing his dick and making him whimper in your mouth. You bite on his bottom lip, your hand makes movements of back and forth, making Jisung bend down and bite your shoulder, trying to suppress his moan. You groan, it feels good having him so close to you, marking you as his.

You pull his shorts down all the way down, pushing yourself up and wrapping your legs around his hips. Jisung grabs his cock, rubbing his tip on your entrance, slightly teasing your clit.

“Are you sure about this?” He groans, trying to control himself, “after this I won't let you go”

You nod, closing your eyes in anticipation.

“Words”, he whispers, barely being able to hold himself back.

“Fuck.me.now”, you say with gritted teeth, opening your eyes to stare at him, holding onto his shoulders when he finally enters you.

You feel like heaven when he's inside you, your velvet walls tightening around him make him groan.

“Shit”, he cusses, biting on his bottom lip. “You're so hot”, he gets closer, kissing you deeply. His lips are so soft, you could never get over it.

Jisung starts thrusting, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you closer, fucking you deeper.

Your hands slide to his hair, pulling the locks while his lips go down your neck. He bites on your skin, sucking the area until it's red and you're sure it's gonna leave a mark. One of his hands goes to your clit, rubbing the bud, making you get closer to your climax.

“I'm close”, he says, his thrusts faster and his fingers working diligently.

“I'm close too”, you say, kissing him, feeling his thrusts getting sloppier. You feel the hot liquid being spilled inside you, but he doesn't stop. Jisung keeps going, putting more pressure into your clit until you're trembling around him. He whimpers in your mouth, his hips faltering and both of your breaths growing tired.

He rests his head on your shoulder for a few seconds, before moving away from you, staring at you like you're going to fight him and run off.

“I guess you like me a lot”, you smirk, watching him blush and smile.

“Do you wanna go out with me?” He asks, biting on his bottom lip.

“I thought you'd never ask”, you smile, giving him a peck on the lips. “I even already have the reason for our first fight”, you raise one brow, laughing as his eyes grow wide.

“What?”

“You are going to have to explain to me how you got so good at eating pussy”, you tease and he smiles.

“I guess I'm just a natural”, he shrugs, making you shake your head in amusement and kiss him.

You could get used to this, you definitely can.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]

"July - August 2010

I’ll give a brief overview of the July - August timeline to set the stage. Some of these are ballpark estimates.

July 18: Day 1 of Boot Camp

July 22: Boot Camp Judgement Day/1D Is formed

Late July: First band meeting they talked about in the movie

Mid August: 2 weeks at Harry’s dad’s bungalow

End of August: Judge’s Houses

28: Liam tweets “Things are getting very interesting.” (tweet) 

28: Liam tweets “I’m leaving on a jet plane! Nice choice of song. X” (tweet) 

31: Stan posts to facebook “OH GOD TENSE TIMES!!!!!!!” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private] 

Harry created his twitter on August 22 but did not tweet much until September. Louis was tweeting a lot, but not to Harry or any of the guys until September. Part of this was probably due to NDA’s (nondisclosure agreements)they had to sign promising not to disclose any results from episodes that had not aired yet. So a lot of group chatter about rehearsals and getting together was likely prohibited.

Original 1D Twitter Account

Before the first live show, all articles and twitter accounts created by fans called the guys “1 Direction” and not “One Direction.” On September 27th, Louis tweeted one of the first fan accounts: "@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .“ That got me curious about whether @onedirection was the first Twitter account.

It was not as that account was created on October 29, 2010. 

So I started playing around with user names, seeing if I could guess what it was. I combined "1direction” and onedirectionmusic from the original Youtube account and voila. 

Let’s all follow it and see if anyone notices.

(Hilariously, Jay tweeted “I love ‘One Directin!’” on the night of the 26th, while Hannah confirmed to fans on the night of the 27th that it was “1Direction.”)

Liam: Liam was an interesting character before the live shows started. Most know that he had already tried out for X Factor in previous years, including even making it as far as Judge’s Houses, before he was ultimately rejected. He had a small fanbase built in from that and communicated with them via Twitter, Facebook and a website.

Liam spent most of the time leading up to Boot Camp talking to fans and all of his time after boot camp talking to fans via Twitter, especially encouraging people to buy his wrist bands which he sold via his website. He did not tweet much about the show itself or any of the guys, despite the fact that they tweeted him on several occasions. Liam either took the NDA much more seriously than the others or he just wanted to appear solo as long as possible. 

Because he had tried out before and was so obviously loved by the judge’s in his tryout in 2010, Liam was dubbed the X Factor favorite in 2010 before the live shows began airing. This included numerous articles about his odds (link 1 | [link 2 source no longer available] and he was even linked publicly to Cher Lloyd as early as September 8th [link source no longer available]. This is interesting and telling because as the dynamics shifted and Harry became the clear favorite, the PR narrative involving Cher was dumped in his lap (which he, Anne and Gemma all denied). 

In the movie, Louis and Liam talked about how, in the beginning, they didn’t get along because Liam took things too seriously and Louis was too care free. And based on Liam’s Twitter alone it is pretty apparent how intensely focused Liam was on winning the X Factor from the beginning. It doesn’t surprise me at all that these two personalities clashed like they did. But it’s neat to see how close they are now. 

Niall Not much to say here other than Niall is awesome and hasn’t changed at all and I love him. He tweeted Harry and Louis (and Zayn once) in September. He seemed to be completely ignoring the NDA while the others carefully danced around it. 

Zayn Zayn spent a lot of his time inviting fans to come chat to him via his Facebook page. He talked a little about his religion and the fact that he is mixed race. But he tended to keep stuff off Twitter (surprise lol). 

Harry and Louis Yes, they are a unit so they are grouped together. They actually didn’t tweet each other at all until September 27th, 2010. But we know they were talking via phone because it’s been mentioned they were the two who planned the bungalow and also, Niall’s infamous tweet to Louis from September 13: [tweet]

We all know Harry tweeted the lyrics to “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne on September 13th around 5:30 PM [UK time], which is pretty awesome. [tweet]

And of course, the tweet from Niall (above) was a little less than 4 hours later.

But the night before that, he also tweeted song lyrics. To “For the First Time” by the Script. BY THE SCRIPT. “FOR THE FIRST TIME” BY THE SCRIPT. I just think that’s really cute and The Script makes me emotional, ok? [tweet]

On the 18th around 3:30 PM [UK time], Harry also posted some song lyrics: “Dancing in the Moonlight" by Thin Lizzy. [tweet]

And just 3 hours later, Louis tweeted "I love Hannah.” [tweet] These two aren’t necessarily related, but interesting to note.

X Factor House From what I can tell, it is most likely that they moved into the X Factor house on Monday the 20th. Liam and Stan both mentioned going to London that day (here [Stan has set the post to private] and here) and everyone stopped tweeting so much, probably busy filming promo for the show and getting settled and rehearsals. 

Jay took this picture and tweeted it to one of the first fan accounts on the 24th, which appears to be the boys in London:

Move in day probably being the 20th makes the tweets on the 27th interesting. The boot camp results show was aired the night of the 26th, meaning the world knew Louis, Harry, Niall, Zayn and Liam were in a group together and going to Judge’s Houses. So 12 hours after the cat is out of the bag, Louis and Harry tweet each other and talk about how happy they are to be together and how happy they make each other. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL? None of the other boys did this. 

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

September 2010:

5: Stan posts on Facebook “Free hot pizza cos Louis is famous!!!” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private]

5: Metro posts article “Liam Payne Second Favorite” to win the X Factor [no link was inserted, replacement source could not be found]

8: MTV UK posts an article saying Liam and Cher Lloyd hooked up at boot camp (lolololol) and Liam denies via twitter [link to source no longer available]

9: Harry posts song lyrics: "When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, cause you’re amazing…just the way you are :)“ [tweet]

11: Express and Star posts article saying Liam is 6:1 favorite to win the X Factor (source)

12: Niall tweets Louis "ari buddie..giv me a ring..” (tweet)

12: [Harry tweets:]"Ooh These times are hard,and they’re making us crazy..Don’t give up on me Baby .xx" (tweet) 

13: Louis tweets Niall “@niallofficial iPhone!!!!” - He was trying to sell his Android at the time, so I think this means he bought an iPhone. (tweet)

13: Harry tweets at 5:30 PM “I lost all my Vanity, When I peered into the Pool..I lost all my Innocence,when I feel lin love with you .xx” This is a song called “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne. (tweet)

13: Niall tweets Louis about 3 hours later at 9 PM "@louis_tomlinson louis ring me.. Harry told me something tday that u told him.. TALK T ME" (tweet)

18: Harry tweets at 3:30 PM [UK time] “Well I passed you in the doorway,and you took me with a glance..i should have got the last bus home, but I asked you for a dance ;) .xx”. This is a song called “Dancing in the Moonlight by Thin Lizzy. (tweet)

18: At 6:30 PM [UK time], Louis tweets "I love Hannah.” (tweet)

19: Stan posts on Facebook “London tomorrow to meet some celebs.” [link not working, Stan has set the post to private]

20: Liam tweets “Down in London. Can’t tweet too much but thanks for your ongoing support. X” (tweet) 

24: Jay tweets one of the first fan accounts at about 7:45 PM [UK time] a picture of the boys together in London (twitpic)

26: Jay tweets “Go 'One Direction!’” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at 11:30 AM [UK time]  “@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at noon  “@_whytheface I’m sat next to him right now ! X” responding to a fan asking Louis how to get Harry to follow her…Louis doesn’t answer the question. Just announces he’s with Harry. (tweet)

27: Louis immediately tweets again  “Is sat with @harry_styles happy days :)” – LOUIS’ FIRST TWEET TO HARRY (tweet) 

27: Louis starts answering tweets in terms of “we.” “@SophiexNicholls We are both great thanks :) how are you ?x” (tweet) 

27: Louis announces again he’s with Harry at 12:10 PM.  “I’m bacckk :) with @Harry_styles again :)” (tweet) 

27: At 12:30 PM, Louis tweets.  “@xPeaceLoveJonas Me and @Harry_Styles loves your support ! ” (tweet) 

27: At 12:43 PM, Louis tweets.  “@meeeshell_x we’re great thank you how are you ? X” (tweet) 

27: Stan tweets Louis jokingly asking  “@louis_tomlinson so are you pleased to have Simon as your mentor? Bet judge’s houses is gonna be great.. When do you go?” (tweet) 

27: At 12:49 PM, Harry tweets.  “Is laughing so bad with @ Louis_Tomlinson :) .xx” HARRY’S FIRST TWEET TO LOUIS (tweet) 

27: At 1:06 PM, Louis tweets their first twitcam.  "http://twitcam.com/26a4v - Enjoy guys me and harry :)“ (tweet) 

27: At 1:16 PM, Jay tweets Louis about the twitcam.  "You guys are good x” (tweet) 

27: Fittingly, Harry tweets around 1:30 PM in response to whether he has a girlfriend “@SBKavanagh erm..no I don’t :P .x” (tweet) 

27: At 6PM, Hannah tweets a fan and says the group name is “1Direction” [Hannah's twitter account is gone, so the tweet is unavailable]

Harry and Louis Recap:

July 18: They notice each other in the stairwell.

July 21: They meet in the bathroom at X-Factor.

[Louis is also wearing a t-shirt with a BUTTERFLY and a BEE AAAA]

July 22: They get put into a group together.

Late August (5 weeks after boot camp): Judge’s Houses

September 13 (about 7 weeks since boot camp): Harry tells Niall Louis told him something and it sounds like a big deal. [tweet]

Late September (About 8 - 10 weeks after boot camp): If we take Harry’s comment a year later literally:

So there you have it. Fairy tale rom-com levels of teenage love affair."

September 2010: Let's talk about it.

September 2010 is a lovely, ambiguous time. The boys had all met at boot camp, been put into a group, spent 2 weeks at the bungalow and then went to judge’s houses where they were put through to the live shows.

Fame was knocking at the front door.

But Harry was still working shifts at the bakery. And they were still tweeting their plans to each other and trying to sell cell phones via Twitter (Louis, what even). 

They were asked about this time period (sort of) in a radio interview they did in New Zealand recently and it made me a little more curious about what we can learn about that time period from tweets. 

This is a little more incomplete than my bigger timelines (linked in the sidebar on my blog). There obviously wasn’t as much press, tweets and fan tweets and pictures to go on. But I think I dug up some moderately cool stuff.

Before we begin, all my love and gratitude to genderblinditem who has painstakingly been cataloging old tweets and has been awesome enough to share with me. Go follow her. She’s great and has smart things to say, so it’s a win-win.

(With my theme, the read more isn’t showing up. So if you are viewing this on my blog, please click the date stamp at the top of the post to view it in it’s entirety).

Onward!

Keep reading

[fishnapple]

How they proclaim their love for you

(lover/partner/future spouse)

This reading is about how the person you have in mind would proclaim their love for you. You can consider these as their mini love affirmations

Disclaimer : cheesy edition

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

CUBE 1

�� Let's take all our time in this world. There's no need to rush. Time? It might not even exist for us. We have escaped time.

• You sent an electric shock down to my core and I still find myself standing. Stronger than ever. Like a machine getting its fuel.

• Our language is of moonlight, fluttering wings, laughter of the stream, cloudy scents of flesh.

• Our lips kiss through the air with words.

• Actions speak louder and we are loud in our actions.

• My mind is spinning, soaring then diving, goes a hundred miles around then comes back, struggling to take you all in.

• This dark corner is our playground.

• I'm in hardworking mode when it comes to our connection. I have lofty goals. Let's work hard together.

• We look like kids when we're out into the outside world together. People ask whether we are friends? We are best friends, whether we are lovers? We are best lovers, whether we're having fun? Nothing is more fun and more serious.

• I have fears, but when I open my mouth, I don't let them escape. But you helped them get out. Is this a prison break for them or for me?

• My mind keeps going back and forth from past to future and you're there, in all of them.

CUBE 2

• Here, take my money. What's mine is yours.

• Do you know the plot where one character is thrown into a dire situation, and somehow, the other one character will come to their rescue. That's me, I'm the one rescued, by you.

• After winter is spring, time goes on, seasons change, I have you with me to witness that together.

• I've become greedy. Wanting to possess every minuscule expression of yours. If I would just freeze them in time.

• Do you see those wild beasts outside the window? And here we are, snuggle comfortably in our home, safely. The light of our home attracted those beasts, they're outside, cold and hungry. Our home will welcome them, but they won't be able to come in as their old shells. They will come in as happiness, transformed.

• I fall in love fast and then I keep it slow.

• I love giving you a bath, bubbling up your hair, seeing water running on your skin then later drying your hair for you and smelling the fresh shampoo scent. Aromatherapy at its finest.

• There's this need growing in me, and I can feel it growing in you too, we share some parts of ourselves with each other. This need is big, it's overwhelming, it makes my heart feel a tugging pain, it animates my body, giving me energy. It's the need to be, to stay alive, so that I can be together with you.

• I know all the right words yet feel like a fool with you.

• I imagine myself a parent, coming home to see our kids fighting, then I will act as a mediator, coming in to lecture them. I look forward to this scenario more than the promotions of my career. Biggest achievement.

• Thank you for letting me love you.

CUBE 3

• Loving you feels like second nature for me, something I've done so many times already, everything in me just do it automatically.

• We definitely have met before. Did we share past lives together? You look so familiar, like the ghost in my dreams, the daydreams in my head, the face of a character in those novels I read.

• My soul is a trapped pool, I would use my bare hand to scoop out all the dirt and monsters from it, take a cupful of water, boil it over and over again until it transparently pure, keep it warm or ice it the way you like then present it to you.

• I stand firm on this earth, confident that I have someone to come back to.

• Our hearth is the most sacred place to me. I would put offering before it, just like how people of bygone days worshipped at the god altar.

• I will keep it warm and nourishing for you.

• Never fear.

• Our lifetime together will blink by so fast, I'm already missing it. But have no fear, it won't end.

• We navigate this path so well that we're definitely professional travellers.

• Change of places, change of jobs? Doesn't matter, I can go along with everything, as long as there's no change of hearts.

• We've travelled from faraway lands to each other and we will continue to travel together.

• I wish you could read my mind and feel my heart, and I could do the same for yours, it would save a lot of time and misunderstanding.

• This is just the beginning.

CUBE 4

• I will tell you "I love you" everyday. Make that a checklist.

• If you and I went to the same school, you would be my high-school sweetheart, the one that I would secretly gush about in little notes, the one that I would absentmindedly draw a heart next to your name.

• Even if we were continents apart, I still feel you next to me, every waking moment and every sleepy dream.

• You fill my throat with sweet sweet love dripping down so much I feel like I can't breathe.

• I love you.

• I can't speak! Tongue tied. Unlock me. But then, if the door is open, I'm too shy to step out.

• In sickness and in health.

• I feel a part of myself went missing whenever you're not here.

• Your pain makes me bleed.

• This is new to me, I don't know what to do. Help me, teacher.

• I probably have a malfunction somewhere in the system to be acting like this. What have you done?

• You are love personified.

• Life has been good since you came to me. But it also has been exceptionally difficult for me to stay alone.

• I have imagined countless times how you would hold my younger self in your arms and feel soothed by them. I may not get to feel it in the past, but I will feel it now, for my past self, my present self and my future self.

[eyesonlybutterflies]

𝘑𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺

𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: idol!Jay x fem!reader

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 1.6k words

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: smut, needy Jay, sleepy reader, consensual, oral (m and f receiving), orgasm denial, Jay and reader calling Jay 'daddy', pet names (darling, dear, baby), manhandling, unprotected sex, overstimulation, p in v, neck biting, marks, filthy, rough, little bit of aftercare

𝓐/𝓝: Hi guys! This is my first ever post and first smut fanfic ever so I hope y'all enjoy it! (I know I said idol!Jay but it's not rlly an important detail)

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭

The door slams behind Jay's tall, but tired body. After spending an entire day practicing and trying not to lose his mind from the other 6, all he wants is to fuck you into oblivion. His entire commute home he just imagined shoving your face in the pillow with your pretty ass up in the air for him to destroy.

Jay is a gentleman, but tonight he just can't seem to hold it in.

As he enters you guys' appartment, he sees all the lights on, but no y/n. He first thinks you fell asleep on the couch, as you often do whilst waiting for Jay to come home, but when he sees the bedroom door ajar with a very dim light on he realises you've already gone to bed.

Something inside of him snaps. Jay takes pride in the fact he can remain gentle with you. His dirty thoughts often not preformed in fear you'll be disgusted by it. However seeing you laying peacefully in bed, phone next to you presumebly falling asleep sooner than you anticipated, he just couldn't it in anymore.

He drops his bag and makes a beeline to your shared bedroom. He pulls down his pants, not fully, but enough to let out his hard, throbbing cock. He grabs you by your hair and puts your mouth all the way down his dick.

You wake up and in your sleepy haze, you don't know what's going on, but when you look up with your innocent eyes into Jay's eyes, you relax. Jay doesn't move your head. He's just cockwarming himself with your mouth, seemingly calming down with just this.

However, you're starting to get a little horny and want more action than just cockwarming him. So you slowly start moving your head up and down.

Jay pulls out and with his other hand he grabs your jaw, forcing you to look up to him. His eyes filled with something you've never seen before in him. He's both seems desperate, mad and horny out of his minds. You think its kind of hot and you start rubbing your thighs together to get some friction.

'Stop that,' Jay finally end the silence between you. You don't stop, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘑𝘢𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘰? Oh how wrong you were. His hand that was previously holding your hair shot down to one of your thighs, holding to one side whilst he lifts his foot to hold down your other thighs so you have no way of rubbing them together anymore.

The shock on your face excites him, 'didn't expect that, darling?' He asks with a smirk. You don't move, say or even go as far as to change your facial expression. Jay is showing a side of him he's never shown, and you actually find it very attractive.

When you stay still like a prey caught in the hands of their predator, he starts to squeeze his hand on your jaw, forcing your mouth open. When you comply Jay gathers his spit and slowly lets it fall from his mouth into yours.

'Good girl.' He says. You're sure you've become the Niagara falls with the way he's treating you, finding it even more hot than when he's gentle and putting your pleasure above his.

Once Jay notices his effect on you and how you've become pathetic and desperate, he grants you a kiss. It's slow, wet and filthy, and you want so much more of that. He pulls back and his hand on your thigh travels back to the back of your head, guiding you to his cock. His tip now completely covered with precum.

He starts both pushing you head down on his dick and fucking your mouth. The only noise coming from your room is you gagging. Jay has to hold himself back, because this view of you, chocking on his cock, not allowed to touch yourself, looking up at you with tear filled eyes, it's got him on edge and he feels like if he lets loose for one second he's gonna explode in your mouth.

After he is pleased with the way you're taking him, he moves down on you and takes off your pyjama pants and panties in one motion. The cold air hits your wet pussy and you squeek a little. Jay looks up one time, with fucked out eyes already, before he dives into his late night snack.

The way he's teasing your cunt has you moaning his name on a level you normally wouldn't use, but with how horny you are, how hot Jay looks and the still sleepy haze you're in has you absolutely unhinged.

'Fuck Jay, oh my fucking god that's it,' He thrives on your moans, he's circling your clit even faster, pushing his tongue deeper in your hole. 'Shit I'm gonna- Ah fuck!' Jay knows you're about to come and right before you reach your climax, he backs up, not touching you in any way, shape or form to avoid accidentally making you cum with any kind of touch.

You squirm and shake and Jay is smiling at you like a devil, enjoying seeing you both already overstimulated and being denied pleasure. When you finally have the strength to look at him you almost want to slap him, he knows how desperate you are for your release and he just fucking denies it.

'That's what sluts get when they go to bed before waiting for daddy to come home,' He says with a tint of darkness in his eyes, as if he can't wait to fuck you into another universe and deny another orgasm.

In your entire two year relationship you've never called Jay daddy, so you're a little taken aback when he calls himself daddy.

'𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.' Is the only thing you can think before he pulls you down the bed before flipping you onto your stomach. He manhandles you into doggy before lining himself up with you and slamming into you without any warning.

The noises you make are pathetic and so dirty and you're loving every bit of this side of Jay. You have difficulty keeping up with everything as he's slamming his long and thick cock all the way into your pussy every single time at high speed.

As you feel your high coming again, your pussy clenches tightly around him with you whimpering into the bed sheets. 'You like this dick so much, baby?' You can hear the smugness in his voice. 'Yes yes, love it aah' 'C'mon baby, say it.' 'Yes daddy, love it.' You barely manage to get out.

'Fuck that's my girl,' is the last thing you hear before you're engulfed by the pleasure of the orgasm, almost screaming his name. 'Holy shit that's so tight,' Jay says before he throws his head back and shoots white ropes of his cum into your pussy. He keeps pumping into you as you both ride out your orgasms.

After you both finish, you think it's over. You're tired, overstimulated and just want to cuddle your boyfriend.

Yet your boyfriend seems to not be done with you yet. Having fucked his frustrations out, he's a little bit more gentle. He guides your hips to turn around so he can look you in the eyes. 'Mmh you did so well baby, taking all of me like it was nothing,' You smile, still lightheaded. 'You ready for round 2?' You nod, not fully realising you just said yes to getting railed again.

This time he's gonna make you take all of him in missionary, kissing you before entering. But the gentleness didn't last long before he starts speeding up. Both of you start moaning in each others mouth, sweat mixing up as he presses his forehead against yours. 'Fuck daddy I can't.' 'Yes you can baby,' He knows you're overstimulated, he can feel your pussy throbbing and clenching onto his dick like your life depends on it, but he doesn't care. He needs to cum again.

The thrusts start to get deeper. He's going so deep he's hitting your cervix. You jolt as you feel him hitting that spot. With your neck so exposed, he starts to kiss and bite your neck, biting and sucking so hard he's leaving marks on your neck. 'Mine.' He says in a very deep voice, almost animalistic.

Your head is in a completely different place, the only thing you are on this earth is a moaning mess and Jay is loving every moment of it. Both of you start climbing to your climax again as Jay doesn't stop fucking you into oblivion and you don't stop being a tight hole for him.

'Daddy I'm gonna cum please let me cum.' You blurt out, not caring how pathetic you sounds calling your boyfriend daddy and begging him to cum.

'Cum for me, angel.'

That sends you over the edge. Your legs are shaking, breath hitching, eyes rolling back. The view of you completely crumbling under his touch makes Jay cum so much harder than the first orgasm. He's moaning your name whilst sloppily trying to maintain his speed. He keeps pumping until he can see his cum drip out of your pussy. That sight makes him almost hard again.

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥

Jay pulls out of you, brings you up to his chest and hugs you tightly. 'Sorry baby, was I a bit too rough?' 'No oh my god that was so fucking hot.' He grins widely, very happy with himself.

'Let's get you cleaned up, dear.' You nod as he leads you to the bathroom where he fills up the bathtub. You eventually lay together, lazily washing each other, not saying much but both still riding on your highs and enjoying each others company.

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! <𝟑

[think-like-a-poet]

lando x reader where they are on holiday and enjoying the city, just cute moments

Sightseeing

Lando Norris x reader

--------------------------------

The sun was shining on the back of your head as you were making your way down the street. Landos hand was inside yours as he looked on his phone following google maps directions.

"I understand nothing from this app. It says we need to go every direction at once." He sighs. You laugh as he puts his phone back.

You squeeze his hand, "Don't worry, babe. We will just walk around till we see a nice place to eat."

He stops in his track, pulling you with you to the side to not be in the way of others, "Alright, but you wanted to see Pisa first. It is only twelve."

You smile and give him a quick peck on the lips, "I am sure a tower isn't hard to miss. We just follow the rest of the people."

"Alright, lead the way." he hold out his hand and together you walk further down the street.

-

Around thirty minutes later, you finally reached the leaning tower of Pisa. It could have been earlier if Lando hadn't insisted on going a side way to be their faster, even though he had never been here before, and you came out were you started

"Alright, not the right way," he had muttered and you had shook your head.

Now, you were trying to get Lando on the right place with his hands held out, "Bit to the left. You are standing in front of it."

Lando shuffles to the side and stretches his hand out so that it looks like he is the one pushing the tower, "Like this?"

"Yes, don't move." you cheer and take a lot of pictures, hoping on of them would at least be good enough, as Lando changes his face expressions from normal to weird, mimic almost all emoji's.

You laugh and hand the phone to Lando, "Could we do a selfie"

"For you, always." he jokes and takes the phone to put it into his pocket and grabs his camera from around his shoulder You roll your eyes playfully at his comment.

He holds the Camera into the air and you smile at the red light. "Beautiful."

He puts it around his neck, "Lets get some gelato instead. I saw a shop a couple streets back."

"You sure your trainer is alright with that?"

Lando shrugs, "I am on holiday. What he doesn't know, doesn't hurt him." he takes your hand back in his and walks towards the ice cream shop.

-

Youruser

Youruser: Bella Vista @ landonorris

Iiked by: Landonorris,lilyzneimer and 382.827 others

Landonorris: you are my bella vista❤️

Liked by creator

Lilyzneimer: How did you not fall?

Youruser: lots of practise

Landonorris: she did fall the first time

Youruser: shhh, don't tell my secrets

User: to go on holiday with lando norris

User: my favourite couple

User: now i want ice cream

-

LandoNorris

Landonoris: eat pasta,drive fasta @.youruser

Liked by: Youruser, oscarpiastri and 978.273 others

Oscarpiastri: stealing my qoute

Landonorris: We drive faster together

Oscarpiastri: alright

Yourusername: are we interrupting @.lilyzneimer

Lilyzneimer: i say we run away together

Yourusernane: Lets do it

User: love how he posted a pic of her, but not himself

User: We need a landojpg post

User: please

User: the hand on her leg

User: i am to single for this

[luckyladylily]

This post is about kids. In specific, I wrote this about my developmentally disabled daughter when she had just turned 7. Do you really think that a child who struggles with using a controller at all and is unable to speak understands the concept of keybindings, the principles of design that will allow her to know why she is struggling, and has the technical knowledge to successfully design a new control scheme that will alleviate her problem? She's fucking 7.

Many parents won't understand either, and parents who do like myself are not going to want to put in the time and effort to understand every single game we get for our kids enough to properly remap everything every single time when it could have and should have been done right by the designers of the game.

And then there are the things that can't be changed, because a control scheme is not just the buttons you press but when you have to press them and how your character, you know, controls when you press them. How much precision is expected and required, what kind of reaction times are you expecting from your players, how easy it is to transition between different input states and taking that into account when deciding what kind of challenges are going to chain together and how quickly.

This is basic shit for game designers. Yes, they do not design the input device, but they do have to use the input device and understand its properties. They have to think about this shit. It has knock on effects in everything from character movement to level design, and it is especially critical when designing games for a young audience!

This is one small way game design differs between an adult audience and a child audience, and even different age groups of children. I only chose hand size and input devices because it is so obvious after it is pointed out to you but few people ever think about it. Designing for children requires a specialized set of skills and knowledge.

“I went to school for game design! I am highly qualified to talk about any game out there!”

I bet you don’t even know how big an 8 year old’s hands are.

[pippin-katz]

Jayden, George & Cameos

Alright, maybe this is me being presumptuous, but I feel like I need to say something. I’m going to offer my two cents about the cameo situation.

I did not buy a cameo when George did it, but upon asking someone who did, they costed £40. The price of the joint cameo is evidently £80.

Is that too high of a price?

If you thought £40 for George’s cameo was fine, then you have to say “no”.

George by himself was £40. If Jayden made his own by himself, it would probably also be £40. Therefore, if you add them together, you get £80.

People need to understand that while they might have fun with the cameos, they are still working. Recording videos like that is exhausting, and if you don’t think so, you’ve clearly never done it. I have recorded reaction videos and after thoughts and stories for years, and I still get exhausted if I have to do a multiple part story, or do it over and over until I’m satisfied.

Now, I know a lot of people are peeved more about the phrasing of these joint cameos as a “gift for the fans” when the price might be out of budget for a lot of people.

But if you are throwing a tantrum over it, you need to sit the fuck down, and check your damn privilege.

It is a gift.

They don’t have to do this. They literally don’t. They don’t have to interact with us. They don’t have to post anything. They owe you nothing.

Instead, they have taken the time out of their days, their schedules, whatever they might be busy with, or even if they’re relaxing, and they’ve decided to record video messages for you.

Not to mention, do you even understand what they are putting themselves in risk of emotionally or mentally?

The very first thing that came to a LOT of people’s minds when this was announced was: “I hope no one asks them to kiss because we’ll never get Payneland.”

If you didn’t think that, congratulations! You have apparently been fortunate enough not to encounter what real Internet behavior is like. Or maybe you’re new to a fandom space, and this is your first time! Great!

You might be thinking: “No one would actually do that; at least not in this fandom!”

But the truth of the matter is that there are many people who would and probably WILL do that.

The anonymous nature of the Internet has enable millions, and I mean millions, of people to act on and voice their most disgusting and disturbing thoughts. The content or person does not always reflect on the people who digest or interact with it. There are monsters everywhere; they are in every space whether you encounter them or not.

By being online all of us open ourselves up to the risk of people attacking us or exposing us to things we do not enjoy or want. For people of any level of fame, it’s multiplied tenfold.

George and Jayden can turn off direct messages, block people, mute tags, and whatnot, so they can avoid most attempts to reach them. By offering these cameos, they are giving a direct route for people to type whatever the hell they want into their message, and whether they like it or not, they’ll probably be reading it.

This is an open invitation for those awful people to request anything, to say anything, to ask anything, even if they report it and don’t respond, they’ll likely see it.

Invasive questions about their sexualities, their relationships, their personal lives. Disgusting thirst messages. Disturbing requests asking for specific things to act as a replacement or substitute for what we would’ve liked to see in the show.

Anything and everything you can think of is possibly something they will encounter, and they’re willing to take that risk to give you something special. To talk directly to you, even if it’s only for a minute.

It’s become increasingly clear, to me at least, that Jayden is a sensitive soul. Not in a “can’t take a joke” way, or in any condescending way. He’s just kind. He’s kind in a way that is taken advantage of in online spaces. He’s also young. A lot of this is still new to him.

He apologizes like it’s his fault if his stream chat gets some bad people in it. He was talking about how he wanted to continue playing Detroit: Become Human really badly, but felt like we would be upset if he didn’t stream his entire play-through. He asked for a list of names of people who support him on Twitch, their usernames and actual names, because he wanted to keep track of them.

Jayden was really excited about the joint cameos. He looked so thrilled to talk about it, and was looking forward to hanging out with George, and doing this for fans.

When fans turned around and yelled about prices, it probably crushed him! Instead of reciprocated excitement, he got bitterness and hate. And for something that he might not even have control over, mind you.

It feels like he can never do enough to make fans happy.

It’s not his fault the show was canceled, but he probably feels just as bad about it as we all do! It’s disappointing! It’s upsetting! And he wanted to do it! But he can’t, and that has to feel frustrating as someone passionate about what they do.

It’s not his fault some fans are toxic or judgmental of every interaction he has with his community. It’s not his fault that people spread hate.

But it probably feels like he can at least put a stop to it by not continuing to do any of it. If he just stops streaming, no toxic chats. If he stops talking to fans, no people complaining about favoritism.

I don’t blame him for wanting to walk away entirely.

To wrap this up, if you have anything disrespectful to say about the boys or this situation, do us all a favor and keep your damn mouth shut.

I expected better from this fandom than behaving like entitled children. We’ve gained thousands of signatures, rallied together to buy a billboard for this show, but we can’t maintain a supportive space for the actors? How do you expect us to succeed in saving this show if we can’t even do that?

To make a long story short (too late), fans, do fucking better.

[rizsu]

the "losing all my innocence in the backseat" lyric is so geto waitttttt 😩

sneaky link geto who's like that guy who haunts the narrative of your love life

⢷ pepsi will never thrive without coca cola. (he ain't shit) geto suguru ꘟ fem-reader.

+ love, ‘su: PAUSE THE CHAT 🗣! geto would def stalk ur very much directed tiktok reposts and reply to them with “u miss me huh” (no beta #writtenassoonasigotthisask)

s-link!suguru who just wanted some quick comfort. he didn't need a nagging girlfriend who'd bother him about his whereabouts, certain messages, or even the not-so-hidden circular bruise at the side of his neck, a little under his ear.

in his eyes, you were — no, you are the perfect match for him. you're everything he's ever needed. you used him the way he used you; one and done. no more, no less. both equally needing the sense of relief and relaxation without pushing for deeper meaning.

s-link!suguru who obeyed the “no kissing” rule. to him, kissing is intimate — it's pure. the intentions of a kiss (in his view) are always romantic and genuine, two things that he's long been stripped of. he also avoided eye contact during the moment. it made him feel vulnerable, like he was ready to give up the persona and bask in your love.

again, you never opposed. if that's what he wants then sure. it's not like you were hoping for anything deeper. ignoring the sting in your chest, you often buried your head in the junction of his neck to shoulder — sometimes biting on his skin to deter yourself away from tears. you don't love him; it's just in the moment. that's all.

unlike what s-link!suguru believes, his friends collectively agreed that he's slowly falling in love. why else would he be aggressively tapping through your instagram stories? why would he swipe to reply with “who the fuck is that” if he isn't your boyfriend?

a monkey who doesn't see his own tail won't recognize his own mistakes, a saying his friends often preach — much to suguru's dismay. he doesn't know where it came from nor why they use it, but he's heard it from time to time.

the men can be heartless, but they have no tolerance for suguru intentionally hurting someone as sweet as you. you've met them, they met you, and s-link!suguru's hand never stopped lingering on your body. “not her boyfriend,” he said.

s-link!suguru eventually acknowledges that he's falling — head first, too. this is against every rule he laid out at the beginning of... whatever you two had going on. so, he didn't hesitate to slowly go no-contact with you.

it was easy to say the least. muting your chat, silencing your calls, skipping your posts — too easy. almost as easy as the first time you let him through your barriers. but he hadn't anticipate your immediate move on. when you finally confirmed that he's beginning to ghost you, you moved on.

did you jump relationships? no, but you did post more revealing outfits and “clubbing” stories.

his bottom lip suffered tremendous damage once he saw what you've been doing. is he angry? upset? jealous that you're in a dress he specifically pointed out that it'd “look hot on you” during a walk together?

it didn't take long before nailsbytrish457 kept viewing your profile. they were within the first few viewers. at first you were weirded out by it — a random account keeping daily tabs on you? time to private your profile.

for some reason, you didn't bother to private. instead, you were set on blocking the account and the other accounts it's attached to. your following count went down by 2. odd, right? why would su_geto be blocked as well if you only blocked nailsbytrish457?

s-link!suguru who gave up the non-existent fight and called you. he didn't care — you were going to deal with him whether you had the energy to or not. minutes into the call, arguing about the fact that he shouldn't be bothered until you hear a car pull up in your driveway.

baffled, you'd say “you're not fucking serious.”

he'd only reply with “open the door.”

in between the cursing, yelling, middle fingers being thrown up every now and then, you found yourself straddling his lap, digging your nails into his neck. you want to injure him — badly — but your mind can't seem to stop replaying the flashbacks you desperately tried to turn into lost footage.

s-link!suguru who cracks a cocky smile knowing he got his way, per usual. it's always like that. you know it too, but you can't seem to do anything about it. at least, he's a call (and an argument) away if you need him.

you're familiar with the warning that your love life will crumble if you don't get him out of the picture permanently, but how can you if he's so consistent yet irregular in your life? he's there, he's not. he's with you for a week, he's ghosting you the next.

a push and pull game you're too tired to care for.

andddd thats it bc im out of ideas 🧍🏽‍♀️ idk how situationships go i've yet to experience real romance in my life BYE. i literally stole my friends' experiences n stories for this #inspo #shoutouttotheirls

[fierceawakening]

There is ALSO the thing where when people are unhappy with an incumbent they vote for the opponent.

This is very likely a factor in what happened here as well. It’s stupid because Trump is not a normal candidate, but it’s how things usually work, so it’s not especially surprising.

Personally (and my opinion is worth as much as anyone’s which is very little) I think we should’ve been more sparing with “fascist” and freer with “weird.”

The problem with words like “fascist” is they’re so intense that people defend themselves against hearing what you meant by telling themselves it’s hyperbole.

It’s a common thing that happens when people are taken in by sociopathic con men (this post is NOT me saying anyone with a particular diagnosis is destined to be a con man, it’s talking about a pattern in people who are both things. How often they go together is a topic for a different post and if you want that discussion I’ll have it but not here.)

Such people have a tendency to tell whoppers. Big lies, not just little ones. “The election was stolen and we all know it” rather than “I heard about some funny business in Burpass County, maybe we should recount there?”

When a very obvious lie is told with confidence, people tend to tell themselves “no one would make that up. There must be something to it I don’t see.”

I know this is a thing because it happened to me.

I had an online friend who claimed to be intersex and to have and need constant expensive medical care related to menstrual bleeding that wasn’t fully exiting hir body.

The few details ze gave did not match anything I knew about any specific intersex condition, and I’ve heard of several of the common ones and know how they tend to work, so I should’ve thought “that sounds odd. I should ask hir what the diagnosis is.”

Instead, I thought “I don’t know everything about intersex conditions. It’s far more likely that there’s a condition I haven’t heard of that does this particular thing than that my friend is pretending to be intersex. That’s a super weird thing to pretend.”

It came out later that these supposedly elaborate expensive doctor visits were just zem driving off for a few hours and returning with tall tales.

Worse, it came out that there were many other lies, “I paid the rent” being one of them.

“Vote for me! I’m trying a radical new strategy to make things better for you because I come from a non political background” is much more comforting than “Vote for me! I have no idea what I’m doing, I want to oppress and harm you for my own gain, and I don’t care how many of you die.”

I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t lived through my own smaller version of it and experienced just how much of a heel you feel like when you knew better but didn’t say anything because no one would do THAT.

If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.

Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:

'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.

'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.

'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of voted was not valid.

'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.

'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.

But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.

[beloveds-embrace]

More fairy reader pretty please!!!

Fairy reader post

Enjoy!! :D

In the end, your wings make the decision for you; still far too weak to properly and safely fly for long-term, you stay with them and thus with the passage of days, you become a fixture of the cottage. The four men adjusted seamlessly, weaving you into their routines. Mornings began with the quiet bustle of preparing tea, coffee, and breakfast. Johnny always saved you a few sweet crumbs from the food they’d made, setting them on a tiny dish for specifically bought just for you with an exaggerated wink. “Here you go, wee lass, breakfast for you too.” he’d say, making you giggle.

You grew more comfortable exploring the cottage, gliding from shelf to table with wings that were growing stronger every day, and thus brighter. They marveled at the subtle sparkles of light trailing behind you. It was as if tiny stars followed your every move. Simon, for all his quiet observation, had taken to leaving out curious objects- a shiny coin, a small piercing- just to watch your eyes light up with interest at seeing the shiny, human trinkets you’d normally not find in your routes in the forest. Coins especially were your favorite; you’d make the happpiest squeaks whenever you’d find one.

One rainy afternoon, as droplets drummed against the windows, you perched on the edge of a mug, watching Kyle and John play a game of cards. Their banter was familiar and comforting by now, a low murmur that mingled with the crackling of the fireplace you steered yourself a safe distance away from. When John noticed your intent gaze, he grinned. “Want to play, little one?”

You nodded eagerly. He handed you a card with great care, its weight surprisingly manageable. Determined, you mimicked their expressions of deep thought despite not really, fully understanding what was so special about these cards or how the game was played, earning a soft, rumbling laugh from John. “She’s got a poker face better than yours, Gaz. Might give you a run for your money.”

As weeks turned to months, your presence transformed their quiet lives and you remained, even once your wings were fully healed. No longer were you just a guest; you were family. Together, you then showed them the forest, and all the hidden nooks and crannies that made for perfect places to rest and have a picnic there. Sometimes, you’d catch lights flickering within the depth of the forest but yet… you didn’t want to return to your kin.

One evening, as the sky blushed with a beautiful, reddish sunset, you sat on the windowsill, watching the woods. Simon stood nearby, still and thoughtful. “You could leave, you know,” he murmured, voice soft, almost hesitant yet too curious to stop. “If you wanted.”

You turned to him, youe wings lazily around your body instead of your usual mini-blanket. “I know,” you whispered, your glow flaring gently. “But I… don’t want to.”

His head dipped in a nod, and though he said nothing more, you could feel the relief in the air. You leaned back and dropped the blanket, flying up to curl in his palms, and felt a warmth bloom deep inside you. Here, you’d found a place to rest your wings—and you were happy to stay.

[sheep-from-rad]

Hi! Sorry if this is weird or anything, this is my first time sending an ask lol

But I just finished reading your writing about the singer/influencer reader and omfg I love your brain. Like imagine the reader did a cover of/wrote like spit in my face by ThxSoMch or Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott (love her sm btw-) cause just imagine the GUILTTT

Imagine the Batfam listening to their music and just hearing the bitterness in their voice as they sing “Screwing everything up, doing everything wrong, In my defence I wasn’t supposed to be around this long, so” HGDECANZZKNFBVD

Anyway, I love your writing and I hope you have an absolutely amazing week! Take care of yourself too- drink water, eat some food and try to get some sleep ml <3

Nah anon you're cool. I love reading asks. ALSO credits to Luludelulusramblings, they made the originally made Influencer reader. Batfam belongs to DC as usual. Singer reader post: here

You know, in the Art History year 1901-1904, Picasso started the Blue Period where he only painted in the shades of Blue. It started due to the death of his friend, later his financial struggles, and of course the current state of the society. Blue Period art was so good but so doleful and depressing that no one wants to hang it in their house. Singer! Reader started their career covering mainstream songs, band songs, maybe even vocaloid. 

Their blue period started months before they planned to leave the manor. It was a simple cover of MARINA’s ‘Are you satisfied?’ A lot of burnt out overachievers ate that cover, even Tim himself. The song is basically the reader questioning the Wayne last name. Sure it was a goldmine to others but to them it’s a ticket to misery. One song cover turned into many song covers, enough to make a long playlist to play at 3 a.m. when you’re about to have a breakdown. 

The whole playlist? Batfam avoids it because it reminds them of the times they could have been giving you love but they didn’t BUT at the same time they can’t really avoid it. It became like those guilty pleasures playlist. Damian loves and hates reader’s ‘The Family Jewels’ cover because it reminds him of the fact that he and the reader are basically on the same boat. They were just children who needed attention and love. He got that attention and love immediately because of the whole league of assassins backstory. He won’t admit it but the weight of the role weighs like tonnes of iron on his shoulders. 

Jason, Bruce and Cigarette Ahegao will roll together so much. That man has twice the amount of trauma Bruce had and his coping mechanism sucks. All the aggressiveness was just a coping mechanism, underneath he’s a man with conflicted feelings and those years of being dead and suddenly being resurrected didn’t help. Let’s face it Bruce is a tired man who lives a double life. He's a man who dresses up like as a bat making sure the city is safe but he can't cover all grounds. The neglect on reader was unintentional but neglect is neglect.

Dick with reader’s cover of ‘Stressed out’ by Twenty one pilots, no explanation needed. ‘This is me trying’ by Taylor Swift with Cassandra, Stephanie, and Tim. Cassandra and Stephanie being raised by villains and Tim being an overachiever to have his parent’s attention. His parents being always away and realizing he basically did the same thing to the reader by making them feel invisible. 

Double guilt if they left the playlist on autoplay and ‘Daddy issues’ plays. Any version but I think the original fits the bill. Reader ends their blue period with a cover of Mother Mother’s ‘Burning Pile’ basically saying ‘Yeah fuck it, it’s over. I’m burning it, I’m leaving it, I’m closing the chapter’. But to the Batfamily, it meant renewal and turning a new leaf, an invitation to make things better.

[katerinadeannika]

Notes after watching the full Behind the Scenes of Agatha All Along posted on Nov 13th 2024:

There was no way they could have written an ending for Agatha that did not involve death.

I have been saying this to all the naysayers from the get-go, to all the people making posts about being done or fed up or angry about the ending, or how it makes no sense, or how they should have could have done something different and been fine story wise. The behind the scenes confirmed my point.

The main through line for the entire show was the theme of Death; of Agatha never being able to escape it. Where she both loves and hates death and Death, the concept and the woman. Where she's been running from Death for centuries, but Death came for her son and was always coming for her the second she slowed down.

Every completed trial meant someone would die. Billy created the road based off the rumors and witch lore. And the only rumors out in the witch world were that someone knew someone else's aunt/relative/friend who had undertaken the road and never returned. In reality, that was Agatha's doing. But to Billy, it meant that somehow, the Road took its toll on them. And when the coven traveled it, the Road exacted the same price that Billy expected it to. Death or near death at every trial.

The first trial killed Sharon. The second gave Alice her power back and then Billy almost died (and probably would have if Agatha hadn't pleaded with Rio on his behalf, if the coven hadn't worked together, and if Billy hadn't made the Road with his own powers. Some interesting combo of the all the above). The third trial killed Alice who was trying to save Agatha. And the fourth trial killed Lilia and the Salem Seven.

Jac said she intentionally wrote it where Death was a very real thing that everyone in the show had to come to terms with.

And for Jen Kale, her gift was already dead, and she was supposed to resurrect it and take her own power back. She escaped because after Agatha's trial, the fifth one, someone DID die.

And this time it was Agatha.

Agatha had avoided it every other time by either being saved, or having the rest of the coven as fodder for death.

But in the end, when she could have left once again, she must decide who has to pay the final price for her invention of the Road. The Road that she has used to kill and lure countless witches to their doom over the past few centuries.

She can save the boy she has come to love and mentor after the loss of her son. Or, she can leave once again. And so she makes the final moment of self sacrifice, and chooses the final victim of the Road: Herself

She has been running from Death for centuries.

For Agatha's story to have a thematic ending that wasn't cheap or manufactured, she had to stay true to that through-line. That's how writing works. You find your themes. You write about and explore them. And you have a final consequence that determines if it's a positive arc or a negative arc for your main character.

They chose for Agatha to have a positive arc. A moment of final growth. To end the show on her finally making the right decision, even at the cost of the life she's sustained through countless centuries and via countless deaths.

There was no way the show could have ended any other way.

PS: There is no excuse to hate on it. At all.

It doesn't meet any of the criteria for the 'Bury your gays' trope. It doesn't even end Agatha’s story. But it does provide expertly written, well thought out, thematically poignant endings for all the characters in a way that satisfies their personal journey—throughout the show and the centuries.

And I am so glad they made it, and that it ended how it did. I wouldn’t want it any other way. As a writer. As an editor. As a viewer. And as a lesbian.

Agatha All Along is a masterpiece in TV writing. And I can’t wait for more.

PSS: Watch the Behind the Scenes on youtube that Marvel just posted. It’s super good and includes all sorts of info to help with fic writing and just general understanding of the writing and show creation. Also lots of Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza in interviews!

TLDR: Quit complaining and griping about the ending. It was written beautifully. The reason you got so invested is because of all the heavy death elements throughout that made things mean something. Embrace it. Or find media where you were the target audience. Cause if you couldn’t handle something well written that ends like this, you weren’t the target audience. And that’s okay. But move on before you keep griping and causing issues with the community and the cast.

[ursoftluminary]

This is sorta how I'm feeling, too. I've seen a lot of relatable posts about systemhood, especially the more positive and uplifting ones (which helped me cope with having found out about our systemhood) to be made by endos. It's scary to know I might get jumped for reposting something.

I hate discourse. I'm tired and I've been in the worse denial ever. I've withdrawn from almost everyone I know and stopped leaving my damn house. I feel completely out of control and - more than anything - I'm tired. I'm just tired and I really don't know what to do with such a huge development, so being caught in the middle of a war between what's valid and not makes me want to turn my back to the whole world- to throw my system in the can and dive as deep into denial as I can possibly go.

Endos are just so much more welcoming. Lately, I've had the thought process- what if I'm wrong? Oh, well, it's more complicated than that. There's no shame in enjoying my headmates company, even if it's more complicated than I know. It simplifies it. It cuts the cord. I don't have to worry about right or wrong. I can still love my in system headmates. I can still love my in system friends. I can still appreciate them. There's no pressure, no *competition* almost, to be valid enough. I can just be and... Well, after my whole life and all my experiences, that's all I really ever wanted.

So yeah, I agree with them! ^^ Thanks, endos, for calming my anxious ass down. It's a shame that a community that's been so wounded by hate (traumagenic systems) would continue to spread it. We aren't so different. It would be nice if people could come together more often.

I think a big part of the reason that I went from anti-endo to endo-safe was absolutely due to how starkly different the communities felt.

Anti-endo communities were hard to engage with. Sure, some of them would focus on their support for each other more than their hatred of endogenic systems. And that's great! However, when you are brought together by your dislike of a certain group, you can't help but feel the hate permiate into so much of it. It always happened eventually. Anti-endo communities had such a focus on systems who were "fake" that I couldn't help but worry I was one of them, no matter how much they told me it was "just endos" they were concerned about.

The endo community (at least the parts I've engaged with and were easy to find) were so kind and respected me as a system, no matter how I felt or my plurality presented. Simply knowing we could find joy in our plurality allowed us to strive for so much more than we had thought possible before.

As a traumagenic system, we've improved so much with our symptoms and communication as a result of the positivity and acceptance we recieved. When we joined communities where we could be authenticallly ourselves (no matter what), we came together and faced so much less conflict between each other. And the conficts we did have, we realized that we could solve them together rather than alone.

When you are constantly doubting if you are "actually a system", you start to push the others away, and that made our dissociation and amnesia so much worse. I understand being careful of self-misdiangnosis, it can put you on the wrong path for how you learn to manage your symptoms. At the same time, the sentiment I often heard from endogenic systems when I was struggling with doubt and denial was very simple: "So what if you're not a system?" In short, it was okay to be wrong.

And that was huge for me. I realized that, no matter if I was a system or not, the techniques I used to improve ourselves and communicate with one another beneficial to me. At the end of the day, even if I wasn't a system after all, the skills I had found we invaluble to my health and well-being. So when I fall into denial spirals, no matter what I think about myself, I now know that I don't need to deprive myself of what has helped me, even if it is a "system thing." I don't feel scared to use these skills anymore (even in denial spirals), beacuse the line between what systems and non-systems or singlets can/can't do suddenly wasn't a big deal or a battle of "who can do what."

Our plurality is no longer a burden or a scar to us. It is simply who we are. We've learned so much about each other and ourselves since we've been accepted in full, and since we've learned to accept others. Endogenic communities have helped us (a traumagenic system) probably more than they'll ever know, and we're forever grateful for that.

So thank you, endogenic systems.

[shrimpybbq]

this is so obx actress!reader posting these pics on her instagram feed, mixed with pics of the rest of the cast and ones of her taken by the others. girlie is feeding the fans drew content and they are so so happy. no one needs to know how much she drooled over drew in his morocco fits, constantly admiring his muscular form. it didn’t help that her character and rafe had some steamy moments in morocco (maybe a moment on the boat…) and the tensions were running high. but they’re both professionals, right? neither costar was feeling a little too hot and bothered - it was just a scene. just a hot, sexy scene…

pls i am so sorry for the spam but i love obx actress!reader and drew and i cannot stop thinking about them

i picture them as kind of like drew and odessa, where they’re super close but no one quite knows if they’re dating or not. rumours keep flying around, and they’re always seen together but then both have had other dating rumours too and fans don’t know what to believe - except that they’re hot together and in all their scenes on outer banks they look like they want to rip each others clothes off (but maybe they’re just reallyyyyyyyyyyyy good actors)

[newtkelly]

Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.

Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."

Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??

What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?

Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.

Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)

Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.

Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.

Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.

That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.

I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.

In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.

But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.

Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol

Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3

[eimearkuopio]

This reminds me of a very sad story about people I miss a lot. Sorry for vagueblogging. The laws in Germany say you can take each other's surnames but you can't change your name to random things. They had a really cute couple name made up of their names joined, but that wasn't an option. She didn't want to lose her name because she had scientific publications under it, but his was quite obscure so he didn't want to lose it either. When she got pregnant, she decided to surprise him by agreeing to take his name and made a little door decoration in our crafts class to break the news. Depressing shit goes behind the cut.

When their daughter was about 9 months she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She didn't quite make it to their daughter's second birthday.

Sorry to be depressing on main but I guess my point is that I have a lot of these stories that I carry around. A statistically improbably number of these painful stories of loss. That's why I'm so fucked up, in a nutshell. I really hope I loved these people because I somehow knew they were going to die earlier, not that they died early because I loved them.

@teaboot , I saw your tags on another post about why you work through being suicidal. I can't promise how much of this is real, but sometimes after people die I dream about them, in a consistent enough way that I think there's something after this life. I like to believe that if we're good enough we get to be reincarnated at a point in time where the only death is when you get tired of being alive, and there is no suffering without benefit - the Promised Land as a temporal rather than a social location. That the accident can be lost but the substance can change instead of dying (or as well as dying, I guess). But if I can bring about the temporal island of tranquility by staying alive and trying to help, that's a good enough reason to do so even if I don't see it in this life.

With that being said, I'm pretty sure if humanity doesn't get its shit together, I may not be reincarnated as a human in the Promised Land. Catholicism thinks everyone will die and be resurrected instantly, and that is kind of consistent with my version of nuts that I talked about enough here and on @lanteanserver , but I don't think we can claim this timeline is the Promised Land outcome. At least it's after 3rd October? That seemed to matter to other people online. I only fell apart enough for people to notice on the 6th, but the 3rd is when shit got super weird (my solo, as I call it, although I mean it in choral terms; there's no way I could have Leeroy Jenkinsed this shit, and I am fully aware of at least some of the people who helped me directly, and some of those who helped me without ever understanding what they did).

Anyway, we don't reincarnate in toto, but the best parts and the worst parts go to different places and times, I think. Because soul is substance but memories are accident. And even the substance of the soul can be different. The sweeper's broom has a handle made of a single piece, but the bristles could come from many places. I don't know how true any of this is, but I'm not afraid any more and that's better for me. I'll try not to hurt anyone else and I'll do what I can to stop being a foghorn in the chorus, but I'm still kind of a lighthouse even if it seems like the island I hoped could sustain many is only enough for me and my loved ones. We'll see how things go in the future.

I love you all. Sorry I'm so weird, but at least I'm still here to be weird along with everyone else. 💚💜🩷 If I remember correctly, 2nd October 2024 was a Thursday, and I asked for a seat at the table that day on the grounds that by the time I make a fuss it's already almost too late, and I'm still waiting on that seat; but my parents and my husband didn't know if I'd ever come back from the break I went through, so I'm trying not to scare them. They don't understand that I've been like this my whole life. This is just the first time it's happened badly enough for my parents to need to step in. It's the first time my husband has seen me hit rock bottom.

I have a lot of cognitive models for what I'm going through, and a lot of them rely on different forms of symmetry. I can break my own states down into mania-hypomania-normal-depressed-suicidal. Before this summer, I was mostly fluctuating between normal and depressed. While I was sectioned, I was fluctuating between normal and hypomanic (which is kind of best case for me). Now I'm home, and I'm fluctuating between the middle three options. Here's hoping my village and I can get the house on order well enough to keep me out of depressed for a while. I still love you all. I think I'm starting to love myself, but it's still hard. I'll keep trying. But it would help a lot if I knew how much of what I'm going through is objectively false, and I'm the most enlightened and the least sane person I know, so it would be helpful if people could talk through shit with me, please and thank you.

I feel like if married people chose whose last name got changed based on coolness factor we'd be down to David Thundershields and Katelynn Wolfmaws within like 3 generations