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lurking96 · 3 years

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Chapter 319 or why Bakugou might not be healthy for Izuku

This here might be a bit on the anti Bakugou side. I tagged it as such so you can filter those out and put it under a read more if you dont want to read it.

So. In the last day I did read a few opinions on the chapter leaks. What some think will happen and so on. Some from Pros some from Antis. This again is an opinion. It is not absolute. I do not claim it to be the absolute truth. This is just my personal interpretation. What I think that will happen is that Class 1A lead by Bakugou will fight Midoriya to try to bring him back. I don’t think talking to him will happen with Bakugou there. As one of Bakugous coping mechanisms is fighting. However with that come problems. I can understand the reasoning behind fighting him. A little talk will most likely not make him come back. However it might ease things. Might make him a tiny bit calmer. Might not make things worse. Fighting however will make things worse. Izuku is already on edge. He is already filled with paranoia. He hasn’t slept or eaten well. He might do rash decisions. He is not in a healthy mental state. And here we have it. His friends, his supposed allies are fighting him. The people he wants to protect went out and attack him. Out in their costumes. Ready for battle. A kinda scary scene overall. You dont see their faces. You feel anger coming from them.

It might bring some memories back to Izuku if you compare it with another picture.

Just like the picture before Bakugou is kinda in the foreground.He is leading just like back then he was leading his so called “extras” This might bring back memories to Izuku. Again he is sleep deprived. His mind might not work the sharpest. For all he knows it´s like back in his other schools where Bakugou lead his group of “extras” to attack Izuku. He might fight back stronger than intended. He might just try to flee even more. Overall it is not very helpful to him. Because a part of the reason for Izukus mental health is Bakugou. Not in a kind of friendship way but more as a cause. Bakugou to put it simply had been Izukus main bully. They were never apart. From preschool to UA. They were in the same class. With team exercises they were together. Izuku never had a break from him. He was never allowed to have time without him. From early on Bakugou has called him useless, worthless, what does one think the name Deku means. Has been using his quirk on him without the teachers caring. Before people say that is long ago. It is not. Right now they are in their second year. How did their first year start. Bakugou trying to attack Midoriya. Trying to kill him. Insulting him where he goes. It is not long ago. And even if it was like 300 or so chapters ago. That still happened. That is still the characters backstory. Honestly you are fine to like a character. But one should recognize that a character has flaws. No character is perfect. Saying that you like a character and saying that they are an asshole that needs to change can coexist. I like Overhauls aesthetic and quirk. Am I okay with what he did. Nope. Would I want him set on fire. Yes. Simple as that. Now back to it. In chapter 319 we hear Bakugou say that Izukus self sacrificial nature is caused by All Might. This. I do not agree with. Again. Who has called him worthless, a pebble on the road, useless, a deku for years. It was not All Might. Izuku has incredible low self worth. If it means saving a cat from a tree he would break his legs. He doesnt care for himself. He sees himself as worthless and only as somewhat useful when he is saving people. It got drilled into him from a young age. This is not something simple that is left behind after a few days. It can take years. And so far he has nothing contrary to those ideas. There are three people that know of his former quirklessness. His mom. Who is kinda supposed to love him. All Might who never really went back on the quirkless hero thing and Bakugou who still insults him for it. Everyone else only knows him with his quirk. Only knows him with being useful. Just because he has a quirk now doesnt mean that quirkless Izuku has ever left his mind. Yes All Might is not perfect. He has flaws. Those flaws are shown and others call him out. Could he have done more. Yes. Could he have helped him mentally. To a degree. But again. All Might is flawed. He is not perfect. All Might is shown to lack social skills. Seeing Bakugou just as rival or Endeavor who has open hate for him as friends. He never had a normal relationship. And again he was not the cause for Izukus psyche. He didnt lay the groundwork. With Bakugou blaming it on All Might. The guy that is not there and can’t protect himself he is doing something one could call damage control. He is not telling the entire truth. For the truth would hinder his dream of becoming number one and reduce his social standing. Him telling others that he is even partly responsible would surely open more questions later he would want to avoid. He also calls Midoriya crazy which is a tactic used to discredit a victim. Same for him making things up and overexaggerating and so on. He did do damage control before. A bit ago he told All Might that he was bullying Izuku in the past. You would think It´s something positive. But here is the thing. He lacked details. He didnt tell him much. For all we know All Might assumed some rough housing and name calling. Nothing that bad. It is to soften the blow. So if Izuku tells him later All Might is already in the mindset that it wasn’t so bad. Bakugou seems not that he would lie and my successor must be overexaggerating a bit. Bakugou is not that dumb. He knows his way around words. He knows when to not openly attack and wait for a better chance. A fool would have kept attacking Izuku after Aizawa held him back. He was just waiting for the training with All Might. He knows what buttons to push to get information out of Izuku. He basically forced the OFA secret out of him. One could call this a good use of crocodile tears if they so want. If they dislike him that much. Again an opinion of many. As of Chapter 319. He might have good intentions. He might want something good for Izuku. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions are not an excuse. Just because Bakugou thinks it is the best doesn’t mean it will be automatically the best. Just because the dog wants the chocolate bar doesnt mean it will be healthy for anyone involved. Bakugou being there might be quite detrimental to Izukus health. He might just open up wounds again. Izuku fighting class 1A would probably not increase his trust. And what are they going to do if they win. Tie him up, drug him, force him back. He will just try to escape. His trust in them will be broken. He might allow some sleep but it will never be the same. He already had trust issues before this will just expand them further. Isolate him further. This is what AFO wants. To have the heroes fighting with eachother. To have the OFA holder isolated and even branded as Villain for fighting as hero class. 1A winning is also a big IF. Shigaraki fought Gigantomachia and the MLA sleep deprived and incredible tired and won. Shigaraki and Izuku are foils. Two sides of the same coin. Izuku had a year to analyse their quirks. He has a bunch of quirks for himself and OFA mastered far more than anytime before he trained with them. He has become a natural disaster in human form. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he defeats them and leaves. To me the good option would be trying to talk to him. Not let Bakugou do the talking. He lacks the fine control. Get him in the direction of rest. Sadly none of them are trained professionals to deal with mental health. They are children that just fought in a war and also got traumatised. So I dont have great hope on them taking the talking route. Overall I think this will be a breaking point. They will fight. Izuku will most likely win and his trust will be broken even more. He will be even more isolated. His personality might take a darker turn seeing as there is no one he can trust. It might just get even darker than before.

#anti bakugou #bakugou critical #bnha #my hero academia #izuku midoriya #bnha chapter 319 #Opinions are Opinions

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bloodyshadow1 · 6 years

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Strength in Softness

For @threehoursfromtroy /Writerleft requested on behalf of Willowtree3 to make you happy while you recover. A bit of Korrasami domestic fluff. I hope you are recovering well and that this makes you smile

“Urgh,” was quite the philosophical statement that Avatar Korra, the bridge between spirits and man, let out as she collapsed into her girlfriends lap. She had been working all day doing her best to solve problems of people and spirits alike, but sometimes the pettiness of people exhausted her more than fighting equalists or Kuvira’s army ever did. Today it was an argument between two companies fighting over a plot of land technically considered spirit wilds territory. They had accused the other of giving money to one of the local gangs to discredit the other and drive them out of business. Of course as it turned out both men had hired a different gang to do what they were accusing the other man. It ended up with her and Mako back to back as both gangs descended on each other and covered in grim and pieces of the street.

4 years ago Korra would have jumped at the chance to clash with a bunch of bending gangs. But present day Korra had better things to do, and spending time with her beautiful girlfriend beat out fighting street punks every day of the week. “Tough day today sweetie,” Asami said knowingly, she didn’t have to be a genius to know that Korra had a bad day, but it didn’t hurt that she was.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Korra said though her voice was muffled due to their positions.

“That’s fine,” Asami said kissing the top of her girlfriend’s head, “but you’re going to have to let me get up if I’m going to spoil you to make you feel better.”

“No,” Korra said with half faked petulance, “spoil me from here.”

“But I can’t reach the phone to place your favorite order from Narook’s if you don’t let me up.”

“You’re a genius, can’t you invent a phone that can be carried so you don’t have to abandon your distressed girlfriend in her time of great need,” Korra said laying it on thick as she nestled in a bit more.

“I’ll get right on that, but for right now I need ot get up and walk over to the phone,” Asami said gently pushing Korra’s head off of her lap.

“What’s the point of having an amazing super smart genius inventor girlfriend if she can’t just make the impossible devices i come up with off the top of my head a reality,” Korra said as she pouted a bit.

Asami just bent down and placed a soft kiss on Korra’s lips that lingered for a moment more than it had to, just like always. Then she walked out of the room to get the phone and place their order, “fine,” Korra shouted. “I guess the avatar, bridge between worlds, will just sit here in here alone since her girlfriend doesn’t want to comfort her.”

“I love you,” Asami shouted, it was unclear if she actually heard Korra’s complaining, or if she just knew the love of her life that well.

“Love you too,” Korra mumbled as she moved to lay back on the couch alone. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, filling her senses with Asami instead of ruminating on her horrible day. It worked, Asami was her favorite thing in the whole world so it made her feel good to think of her. The way she smelled of motor oil, ink, and jasmine, it shouldn’t be a pleasant combination but somehow it was. The way her lips tasted like Asami, Korra couldn’t find another word perfect enough to describe Asami’s taste.

Asami…, the best word Korra could describe Asami was soft, well actually beautiful was the best word to define Asami, but everyone who was in love thought their lover was beauty defined. Just because everyone else alive and who ever lived and Korra was right didn’t mean it was the only word to perfectly describe Asami. When the two of them had met for the first time back at the gala Tarrlok had thrown in her ‘honor,’ beautiful was the first word that came to mind when they were introduced. When she saw the beautiful girl on Mako’s arm the next word that came to mind was soft.

Back then it had been an insult, because she was blinded by her attraction to Mako that she refused to see Asami as anything other than an obstacle between them. After all soft was something that didn’t exist in the South Pole, soft things were weak and they died in the cold. But through Asami’s determination to befriend her and fighting Equalists together, the way that Asami aided her without question against Unalaq, she managed to forge a bond with Asami that didn’t involve Mako.

Korra never stopped thinking of Asami as soft, but the meaning of the word changed. Asami was far from weak as Korra realized, the first time she realized that Asami wasn’t the prissy beautiful rich girl she had initially believed the heiress to be was on the track where Asami showed off. She would later claim that she wasn’t, but in that way that teasing just screamed ‘I’m lying,’ that both of them loved so much. It was in Hiroshi’s hidden workshop that Korra learned about how strong Asami really was, when she shocked her father and single handedly defeated Amon’s Lieutenant to get them out of there. Looking back, Korra knew that that was the moment that she started to fall for Asami, even if she was still blinded by her attraction to Mako. When Tarrlok arrested Asami because of her ties to the equalists Korra almost snapped right there and would have torn the man apart if she didn’t have everyone to look out for. The way that Bolin described Hiroshi’s mech ready to finish off Asami when she was on the ground after the war with Amon was over made the avatar’s blood boil despite her feeling weak after what Amon did to her.

No, Asami Sato was far from weak, Korra knew that better than anyone now. The universe seemed to take Asami’s survival despite everything against her as personal challenge and just did its best to break her down twice as hard. Yet Asami didn’t break, not only had the CEO survived, but she thrived despite everything in her life trying to tear her down. And above all, Asami never lost her softness, the softness that Korra associated with her now. The way she took care of the crippled avatar after Zaheer poisoned her, the way she forgave instead of hating, she showed Korra that soft wasn’t weak. That it took far more strength to be soft and warm instead of closing yourself off hardening your skin and making yourself cold.

“Food should be here in an hour,” Asami said though Korra could feel her nearby even with her eyes closed, “if you wanted to get cleaned up or take a nap beforehand.”

She had a point, Korra was still covered in soot and dust from today’s rumble, but she didn’t want to shower, not yet. “I’ll take the nap first if you don’t mind,” she said opening her eyes. To this day she couldn’t help but stare at Asami whenever she saw her.

“Alright,” Asami said giving Korra a quick kiss before lifting the avatar’s head onto her lap. “Sleep for a hour and then we’ll eat. After that though I’m going to spend the whole night spoiling you so be sure to rest up.”

“Sounds perfect,” Korra managed to say before Asami’s softness trapped her in a comfort she never wanted to escape. Her girlfriend, smart, beautiful, soft yet strong, she was perfect in every way and Korra thanked her and the spirits that they found each other.

#threehoursfromtroy #korrasami #the legend of korra #korra #asami sato #avatar #willowtree3 #shannonigans #hope you feel better

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singhamelia · 4 years

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stretchjournalemerson · 5 years

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Dream Girl

By Carlene McGoldrick

“It’s unfair for me to hide from you the fact that I feel hesitant,” he said. He’d expressed this concern before, but I thought it’d be a feeling that would fade. I hoped it’d be a feeling that would fade, but it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

I sat next to him on the edge of my twin-sized bed, staring at the floor. Our arms barely brushed together as we inhaled and exhaled, though these breaths were significantly more unsteady than usual. I remember him asking if he had been giving me what I wanted, and I lied and said yes, despite knowing that somewhere, deeper within myself, things weren’t working. I said yes for the sake of preserving the one thing in my life I thought I had cultivated to be stable.

“Even with friends, I’m hesitant. It’s like once I get to know them I can’t help but not want to spend time with them”.

My eyes kept trailing along the floor, hoping he wouldn’t notice the

tears welling in my eyes. The idea that I had become tired to him, in spite of the fact that I had shaped myself with such detail to satisfy him, was painful.

Ten hours later, I stood motionless under the showerhead as a steady, scorching stream enveloped by back and shoulders, leaving claw marks along my arms and legs. Everything felt especially heavy. I remember staring upwards at the steam collecting on the ceiling, my neck craned at such an angle that whatever tears escaped would trail back along my waterline and into my eyes. It burned. I’m not normally one for hot showers. Maybe, I thought, this would make me clean. Sterile, actually. In that moment, I wanted to erase everything and be like new.

We hadn’t been seeing each other for longer than two months. What we had didn’t last and was never really destined to, but it felt intense. That intensity seemed to stem from my mesmerization; I was simply stunned that I could possibly be the object of someone’s romantic interest. I realize now that that’s not an uncommon feeling, but I now see how unfair it is to view oneself in such an untouchable light. I allowed that feeling to completely dominate my relationship with him, and it eventually ended things. This newfound desirability I felt with him was something I desperately needed to cling to in order to make myself feel like I was worth something, so I made myself into something he needed. I carefully hand-picked the pieces of myself that I shared with him in order to preserve this heightened, desirable version of myself that I thought he wanted.

“When you say you’re hesitant, I can’t help but think about all of the things I could be doing to make myself good enough for you. I think the best way to be in a relationship is to decide that you care enough about another person to want to see them grow and change and develop. I’ve decided I want to do that for you. When you say you’re hesitant, I just think I’m not good enough,” I said.

He paused for much longer than I was expecting, and placed his arm around me. His touch felt freezing.

“You are good enough for me,” he said.

That wasn’t what I needed to hear. We made up for a moment before I lost my grip on reality, but the things I started saying stopped making sense, and he left. He just grabbed his bag and left. I’m fairly certain that’ll be the last time I’ll ever see him.

I slept over at his apartment the night before his nineteenth birthday. In the morning, I sang to him, fingers over my mouth, trying to hide my breath. He said he had never really enjoyed being sung to on his birthday, but with me, it felt different.

He glanced at me as I laid outstretched on his queen-sized bed, sliding my tongue along the plaque that had formed on my front teeth. He had a red fitted sheet. He said I looked like one of those Greek statues.

“I didn’t realize what was so beautiful about them until just now,” he said.

Wed, Dec 19, 1:48 PM

I’m not upset with you from but from now on I would just like to be friends

I’m upset

I mean i feel the same way

But i’m still upset about things

Okay

Take as much time as you need

It was all so comfortable; the laying together, legs in knots. Waking up with my face in his shoulder, getting the chance to take a long look at the curve of his nose, the hook in his upper lip, his chest which pointed upwards, the way his arms fell at a length from his collarbones. Fitting my face in his neck as we just laid there, fingers often intertwined, I became familiar with his smell. Him, with mine. He told me that a sweatshirt of his started to smell like me after spending so much time together, and I can’t really explain it, but that summoned some sort of feeling within me that was unlike anything I had ever felt before. We’d say things like that often.

“No one has ever looked at me like that before”.

And he’d place his mouth on the part of my face where the cheek meets the ear, and I’d feel safe. For once, I felt that I meant something to someone.

In his own mind, he was an intellectual with a unique perspective on

everything. To the rest of the world, he was a self-important stoner with

a tendency to get mad at anyone who disagreed with him. He would always

tell me that he felt comfortable talking to me and no one else. That I was the one person in the world that got him, and that I was a special person because of it. He’s not a monster, and certainly not abominable or evil or awful in any extravagant way. Rather, he’s just much less than what I crafted him to be in my head.

Tues, Jan 8, 2:18 AM

Hey

I know we said that we would talk when we got back but I don’t think I’m coming back

Like there’s a 90+% chance I’m going to drop out

I’m sorry

4:56 AM

i will respect you immensely in any decision you choose to make

just consider your intentions before you do anything final

and don’t apologize

it’s your life

2:55 PM

Thank you

And that was the last time we spoke. It’s strange to think that’s

likely the last time I’ll ever speak to him, as there were days and days during the months of October and November that we kept in constant contact. The consistency was odd to him, he said, because even his best friend from home that he had known for a decade only reached out to him once a week. I’ve heard that when you’re looking at someone through rose-colored glasses, all of the red flags just look like flags.

Admittedly, there’s been a lot of swaying in the dark, of clutching my arms so tightly to my torso and feeling and feeling and feeling for that part of my body, wherever it is, that holds me. It’s so frightening to come to the realization that I had been shaping myself so exhaustively to satisfy the likes of others rather than developing my own identity. To instead become a shell of expectation, rather than a whole person. Sometimes, I clasp my hands as closely as I can around my eyes and ears and nose to avoid letting any important pieces fall out. I’ve been thinking, though, that my real self is actually contained in my legs. They’ve taken me this far.

I often wonder if he felt the same weight I felt that day in the shower. I wonder if he turned the faucet all the way to the right and let the water draw blood in the same way that I did. I would like to think so, and that his tears streamed back into his waterline as well, but maybe I’m just romanticizing the situation again as a way of protecting my own heart.

His presences lingers in an uncomfortable sort of way. He’s here, but obviously absent, and I can’t help but let memories of intrude upon my present relationship with spaces we shared in the past. I can’t use chopsticks anymore, really, after he taught me the trick to using them at a restaurant in Chinatown. I had to buy new sheets, too. Maybe I’m overreacting.

In retrospect, I see that I sought intimacy with him as a replacement for the intimacy I deserved to have been cultivating with myself. For years, I had repressed my own wants and needs in the name of making myself more easily digestible by other people. Instead, I simply wanted what everyone else thought I should want, or wanted me to want. So I wanted what he wanted. I dedicated a significant amount of my energy to making his life easier and more comfortable, while simultaneously making everything for difficult for myself.

After my hot shower, I called a car to the airport. Classes had ended for Christmas break. I went home to Ohio, despite desperately wanting to lay in my bed forever. I think I needed Ohio. I needed that that grounding in a space that was familiar to me in order to process everything.

During that drive home from the airport in Michigan, I cried and cried to my mom. It was late and dark and I told her I had never felt pain like the one I was experiencing, and that I didn’t know heartbreak could carry such a physical weight. Though I no longer feel the same pain, I can’t discredit my past self. She was aching in a way that she never had before. I respect her and love her immensely for coming out of that pain and disorientation on the other side a much stronger person, and for embracing her pain as a life experience rather than some evil force undeservingly thrust upon her.

It took this experience for her to realize that it had been ingrained in her heart that she was to shape herself into the most easily absorbable version of herself. Instead of cultivating the multitudes that she knew existed within her heart, she suppressed them, looking to become more like everyone else.

...

I hurt quite often. There’s an internal ache that’s sort of indescribable, in knowing that you did something damaging to another person’s life, or were at least involved in a decision that has the potential of negatively affecting their pursuit of their hopes and dreams and aspirations. I think I fault myself too much, and I think I’m scared to confront the fact that I didn’t do wrong. I did wrong against myself, but if I’m growing, is that really wrong at all? I don’t know.

My feelings about the whole thing come in waves. Sometimes, waterfalls. I’m desperate for closure in a lot of ways, though I’m finding that closure doesn’t always exist. It shouldn’t have to exist, anyway. Sometimes, people come into your life to teach you things and then leave. It can be devastating, but it happens. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m going to live in this body with this mind and this heart forever. I’m learning to protect it.

#heartbreak #carlene mcgoldrick #stretch2019

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olympus-summit · 4 years

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Devil's in the Details | Nemesis | Re: Doctor, Setsuna, Shinobu, Elliott, Mina ATTN: Everyone

As much as he isn't his friend's keeper, Nemesis knows a dead end when he sees one. "Médica, it's never going to be satisfying." He murmurs, hoping this can somehow get across everything - that she's right to be furious, that they'd made the wrong choice, but also that she was wasting her breath. They would never fully admit it. They couldn't. They were long past that point. There was only dissonance here. Her worldview demanded pure moral objectivity, and theirs was almost entirely subjective - Setsuna was a perfect example of that, saying that she believes and trusts in a man who has spent the last however many minutes explaining how he's lied to and manipulated all of them specifically to break them. There's something heartbreaking about her simple, willful lack of comprehension, and about her statement: I'm tired. I want to go home.

God, don't they all.

But home doesn't exist anymore. Not hers, not his. They're all a hundred years or more away from their homes, their families, their lives. The future he'd wanted for himself was lived by someone else, and now what does he have? Only the people in this room, only what's on this airship.

If he went back to Silicon now, would he even recognize it? A hundred years was more than a lifetime for most people. It encompassed generations. And of course Titan had apparently been working diligently to undo all the good work that had been done, fostering hostility and isolation, repressing advancement so they could maintain the status quo that kept them in power. The Summit was a joke, anyone with sense would know that people who had no idea what year it actually was, let alone any knowledge about the current geopolitical landscape, couldn't possibly govern effectively. Titan would have been tailoring and inventing policy for decades if not the entire century.

Shinobu's presence and his side and their hand on his back are welcome anchors. After a few minutes, contemplating in silence and listening to their words - they're good at saying what's important, what's needed, at reasonable questions and effective statements - Nemesis shifts just enough to take their hand, holding it quietly, a reciprocation of support.

He listens, and he thinks, and... Elliott mentioning the hostages briefly throws his train of thought off its tracks. The wave of nausea is abrupt and intense enough to make him breath out sharply, almost a gasp, as if he'd been hit in the chest. It certainly feels that way.

[TW: Unreality, Identity Crisis/Dissociation, Objectification, Dehumanization]

What the hell is he going to do? He doesn't want to see the copy of Marisol, some facsimile built from his memories of her, a living, breathing, real person made just to be used against him.

"How could you...?" He doesn't mean to, he doesn't want to keep talking in circles, keep the feedback loop going, he already knows there aren't going to be satisfying responses and he doesn't want to keep hearing about how hurting them all was the best choice that could be made. But he can't possibly ignore this anymore, can't possibly hold it in any longer, not now that it's been brought up again. And so it slips out, his voice is shaking, his expression blanched - not angry this time, he's too horrified for the moment for the anger to keep its grip. "How could you? After what Titan did to us, to you too, how could you... how could you do it to others? How could you do it to them? Mitsu is right, there were a - a hundred, a thousand ways you could torture us, you didn't... you didn't need to do that. You made people. Those aren't our loved ones. You brought those people to life, you created them just to use against us. Do you even understand what that means? You created life. You made them. Those are your children. You brought them into existence just to use them, like weapons, like instruments of torture. Those are people and you just- you just made them, on an impulse, with no sense of responsibility, no - nothing, just, to treat them like... And they're not safe, how could they possibly be safe? They don't even know what's happening, Titan is out there wanting to kill us all, and the lives they had and the people they knew are a hundred years gone. Did you actually think about any of this? Did you ever consider what it meant when you created them? What you'd be putting them through?"

There's a girl in the engine room who looks like the dead sister of the dead man whose memories he carries. There's a girl who will look at him and think he's her brother, even though they were both made in pods, even though she'll be lacking so much of what made Marisol who she was, because the only memories she has are the ones he could share with her - and what about the rest? Had the gaps been randomly generated? Was there some program made specifically to interpret the data of memories and manufacture more to fit in the spaces between when he'd seen her and talked to her and asked how her day went? Who is that girl? He doesn't know her, but he feels obligated to her, because she wears the face of someone he remembers loving, someone he never even met.

Nemesis wants to scream. He wants to curl into a ball and scream and scream and scream until someone just puts him out of his misery. He doesn't want to think about Not-Marisol, he doesn't want to think about the doppelganger he feels responsible for - if only because who else would be responsible for her? Who would support her, who would take care of her? She would have no one and nothing and he would be the only familiar face, even though he knows with a sickening certainty that every time he looked at hers, he would only be reminded of this fucking nightmare. Not only was his sister lost to him, stolen from him, but now she would be replaced, eclipsed by this stranger who looked and sounded like her.

It's too cruel. It's worse than anything he could ever have imagined and somehow it's reality.

He wishes they were still lying. He wishes they would say those people never existed, that it was another trick, another simulation, or holograms or robots in costumes or fucking hypnotism, anything, anything but the ugly, painful, horrifying truth.

[End TW]

Feeling the telltale signs of heart palpitations and his breathing getting shallow, Nemesis closes his eyes and squeezes Shinobu's hand, trying to re-center himself. He can't do this, he can't do this, he can't fall apart right now. There's still too much to talk about, too much to do. Steady, focus, breathe. Breathe.

Most of Izar's bizarre speech and uninvited physical displays go unseen, which is probably for the best, while Nemesis works on regulating his breathing and compartmentalizing until he no longer feels on the verge of another shattering panic attack.

This is exactly why he hadn't asked.

There are tears sliding down his face, but he's breathing again, he feels like he's coming up for air after being trapped a hundred leagues underwater, but slowly his thoughts are reforming and he's steadily trying to make mental grabs for the topics they need to focus on now, the things he can actually do something about.

The strongest thought he can find, the one that offers the most solid ground to stand on, is simply: Someone has to pay. Someone has to pay for this. All of it. It cannot go unanswered.

And yet, he doesn't even glance at the sword on the ground. Instead he addresses the rest of the room, everyone in it, his fellow councilors, even their captors and tormentors.

"...We can't ignore Titan. We can't just release a bunch of destabilizing information to the public all at once. Titan has been building and entrenching their seat of power for a fucking century, if we end the Summit and release all the information now, at best we'll discredit them and leave the world without any system of governance, at worst we'll be giving up any leverage and power we have and leaving Titan a vulnerable, disaster-stricken world to put back together in whatever image they want."

Nemesis doesn't want this. He doesn't want to be a lifelong politician, he doesn't want to have to save the world. But goddamn, somebody has to. Somebody has to take some fucking responsibility - in the sense of cleaning up this goddamn mess, not taking the blame for or dying over it.

"Here's my proposal. We need more information. Mina's on the right track. We need to know everything, or as much as we can. And we need advisors - consultants, whatever. This isn't just about us, it isn't just about what's happened here. It's the whole world. We should try to make contact with various administrations in as many countries as possible. See if there's a way to get them to send representatives. We should contact... hospitals, transportation officials, emergency responders. If we're going to be risking riots then we need to make sure the infrastructure doesn't collapse. And we need to defang Titan. I want to know as much about them as possible - physical locations, employee rosters, boards of directors. That ship they sent after us came from somewhere. Do we know where their armories and bases are? Can we find out? Do they use a specific communications system or hub that we can disable? Give me full access to the computers on board and anything you have regarding modern operating systems and technology, and I should be able to launch a cyberattack. If we can orchestrate a media blackout in as many countries as possible until we're finished that would be ideal. Maybe we'll need the FURIES, maybe not, but we should be fucking smart about this. I don't want to start a war, I want to stage a coup. Once everything is stable, once we can establish new committees and alternate means of international relations, then we release the whole truth. Then we tell the world everything. If you don't want to be involved, you don't have to be. Does that make sense to everyone?"

Despite the fact that his face is still covered in tears and his hands are trembling, Nem's voice is firm, certain, the anger is back and it's been sharpened and polished to a razor edge. Clean, precise, practical.

"Please. Help me if you want to, sit back and wait for the dust to settle if you don't, but vote with me now. Let me do this. I can do this."

It might be the only thing he can do, now.

#chapter 6 #trial 6 #evren #submission

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clubofinfo · 7 years

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Expert: Personally, I don’t think “the left” ultimately represents much of anything coherent, but rather constitutes a historically contingent coalition of ideological positions. Bastiat and other free market folks sat on the left of the french assembly, and while we might try to claim that as part of a consistent leftist market tradition, we should be honest that one’s position in that particular revolution — much less revolution in general — is hardly indicative of very much. There are always revolutionaries who desire systems far worse than our own, and similarly there have been many broadly recognized “leftists” whose desires were utterly anathema to liberation. It’s popular these days to paint the left and right as egalitarian versus hierarchical. But not only is this an imposed read on a far messier historical and sociological reality, but it’s honestly quite philosophically contentless. No one is particularly clear on what egalitarianism means, or even hierarchy, and many interpretations are not only mutually exclusive, they reveal supposedly identical claims as actually deeply antagonistic. Does egalitarianism mean everyone gets precisely the same wealth (however that’s supposed to be measured)? Does it mean mere legal or social equality in the abstract realm of relations before The People or The State’s legal system? Does it mean equal opportunity for economic striving or does it mean equal access to the people’s grain stores? Does equality supersede all other virtues like liberty? Is it better to all be oppressed equally than to have some achieve greater freedom? I’m not being facetious. We paper over these deep issues with “well but common sense” and the wishful assumption that our comrades will come down on the minutia the same way we would, sharing our intuitions on various tradeoffs, but that’s empirically not the case. We constantly differ. People talk about “collective direct democracy” as if something being the near unanimous will of some social body constitutes an egalitarian condition. And, sure, it does under some definitions. But the moment I see some collective body trying to vote on my life I don’t want to “participate” I want to chuck a bomb at it. Leftists use both the slogans “power to the people” and “abolish power” — this should be an intense red flag to everyone that completely different conceptual systems and values are at play. It’s delusional in the extreme to suppose that if we sat down and talked about things we’d all end up on the same page. The assumption of pan-leftist solidarity or a shared common goal is a comforting lie. The left isn’t defined by some set of axioms in ethical philosophy that we can all agree on and than argue about derivations of strategy or implementation from. The left is a historical coalition thrown together by happenstance. As with revolution we tend to self-identify as the underdogs and build our coalitions from the classes we recognize as underdogs against the classes we recognize as ruling but this leads to all kinds of contortions. We are for the right to choose because women are the underdogs in patriarchy. But at the same time we’re pro vegan because animals are the (sometimes literal) underdogs in human domination. Wait, do we value all living things? What counts as a discrete living thing? Do we value them equally or is the level of consciousness/sentience important? Is it the level of dependence or strain it places on another person? Suddenly the responses we have in situations with family members versus the overdogs of christianity seemingly start to come into conflict with the responses we have in situations with disabled people (underdogs!). I’m not saying there isn’t a way to thread all these dynamics, to find a core ethical guide and nuanced attentive implementation — I think there is one (although my particular approach of ultimately recognizing a vast spectrum of sentience/consciousness between zygotes/nematodes and anyone remotely close to a conscious human is denounced by a number on the left as “unegalitarian”). I’m pointing out that our responses rarely arise from an ethical analysis but from instinctual responses to any appearance of an underdog. The left is rarely a philosophy, more often a coalition, with theory tacked on to serve the goals of binding that coalition together. One could easily imagine universes with different historical paths where outlawing abortion is a core leftist plank, seen as deeply interrelated with opposing queerphobia, patriarchy, ableism, etc. Or the left could oppose legal sanction, but support and build grassroots social and cultural sanction against abortion. (Again, for the record I’m pro-choice.) Underdogism is a really dangerous approach to the world. It’s a good “rule of thumb” but if you know anything about me it’s that I abhor such heuristics and see them as the opposite of radical analysis. Underdogism is how you get things like zionism, leninism, poc nationalism, TERFs, SWERFs, etc. Its failures are manifold. There’s a good case the left is nothing but underdogism — in which case fascism is almost always leftist. MRAs don’t approach politics like a reactionary on the right side of the French Estates General, consciously seeking to preserve an established ruling structure, they see themselves as the underdogs. Sure, they’re not (in almost everything besides some fringe contexts like some bits of divorce law), but fuck it they’re potential underdogs, and that status is more than enough to reproduce much of the standard structures of underdogism. One might interject that the problem with underdogism of the alt-right is not just their misidentification of underdogs but their hunger for power, and this is certainly broadly true (although a fraction of the alt-right actually seem less in it for power but more in it to drink outgroup/”overdog” tears). But this certainly applies to much of the left in good standing. Certainly many authoritarian leftists have hungrily latched onto underdogism as a potential ladder to power. I’ve met feminist writers who openly admitted to me they’d be patriarchal if they were men, or own slaves if they were antebellum rich whites. Yes, any set of smart persons who recoil at clear instances of oppression are gonna broadly converge on a number of positions or analyses. But the way they reconcile or hold together these things may differ dramatically. Just because the left is a stable coalition in our present context doesn’t mean aspects of it that seem in perfect harmony won’t break in wildly different directions should certain conditions change. I have repeatedly encountered leftists who’ve claim that valuing some things above other things is hierarchical and thus right-wing (leftism being in their minds representing something more like stoicism or buddhism). Similarly you find epistemic pluralism common in the most heads-up-their-ass sectors of left academia who think thinking some models of the world are more true than others is “unegalitarian” or even “totalitarian.” It’s tempting to just laugh about hippies and move on, but these sort of horrifically bad definitions of “egalitarianism” will sometimes come out of the mouths of smart people who generally have their heads on straight the moment they move to a context they’re unused to. Now I hate the NAP, but everyone laughs at the NAP these days for being “unpragmatic” and this has increasingly become tied to a casual indictment of all ethical philosophy itself. A turn that has been encouraged by the twin interrelated scourges of the modern internet far left: tankies and nihilists. This makes sense if — as per social justice — you see the point of the left to create a social framework of etiquette and loose ideology that can bind a coalition of underdog classes together. Thus the increasing refrain of “you can’t compare!” that happens whenever someone tries to tease out commonalities or contradictions between various claims, positions or planks. There is, from this perspective, no common root or unifying ethos to the left and we should not look for one lest the whole project fall apart. Philosophy, ethics, and core values or principles become the enemies, as does both methodological individualism and universalism. There are neither individual experiences nor universal ones, just relatively simplistic classes of people with incomparable experiences. And we bind them together into common cause by badgering, social positioning, poetic affective appeals, and threats of violence. The left isn’t unified by anything. Marxism is half discredited by idiocy and monstrosity and the half that survived became a wildly contradictory mess more preoccupied with obscurantism, irrationality and anti-realism to hide its own failures than getting anything done much less charting a path. Most of the concerns of the left refer to opposing mythologized superstructures that we are left flailing in the absence of or whenever their composition and behavior change. The left is, in short, utterly allergic to radicalism. Fending off its inadequacies with short puffs of extremism instead. As social and ideological complexities compound through the runaway feedback of the information age these internal tensions and the laughably frail taping over we’ve done will only become more clear. There is still hope for a radical anarchism that is willing to root its discussions of freedom and ethics concretely and explicitly. But this will necessarily involve casting off from many allies who we share some limited intuitions or momentary prescriptions with. Or at least dissolving the comforting delusions of a deep camaraderie. The only reason the lie of “the left” has persisted for two centuries is that its grand Manichean narrative of two more or less uniform tribes — one enlightened and one indecipherably morally corrupt — enables a sense of community that provides psychological comfort to many. To many on the left (as well as on the nationalistic etc right) a hunger for “community” is actually their primary motivation. When chatting at the bar it’s better to not look too deep into why you both oppose capitalists lest you discover something that sunders rather than binds. But the format of present internet technologies has had the reverse effect. Inescapable contact with The Enemy has led us to put up hostile discursive walls that naturally end up cutting out our traditional allies too, causing both right and left to fracture in desperate attempts to find purity, trustworthiness, or some kind of deeper binding. The happenstance points of unity that worked when we had little choice in who to befriend are now fracturing in all directions. This is largely a good thing, the last two decades have seen all manner of horrors lurking among our own ranks exposed. But the process that brings to light our lack of commonality with the anti-science leftist deep ecologist who wants to kill all humans is also a process that will ultimately rip “the left” to unsalvageable shreds. This ship is sinking. And just because many of the rats are fleeing doesn’t mean we shouldn’t either. http://clubof.info/

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newagesispage · 7 years

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April 2017

PAGE RIB

*****Welcome to sexual assault awareness month.. Be vigilant and help your fellow man or woman!

*****Lady Gaga will replace Beyonce at Coachella

*****Will they ever air the Gary Cole episode of Law and Order SVU?

*****Things are heating up in the impeachment trial of Alabama’s Gov. Robert Bentley. His lawyer claims he was denied due process. The other side says that this is just delay.

*****Does ABC have a hacking problem? I can’t even remember how many times certain people start to talk on different programs and boom.. cuts ou, jammed or temporarily interrupted with something out of left field. Is it local.. Does this happen to everyone?

*****Madonna is adopting 4 year old twins.

*****Ten percent of the bidders for the border wall are Hispanic.

*****The second to last season of The Americans is rockin’!!

*****”We know he’s crazy, we have to start protecting ourselves.” This is just one of the lines from Dave Letterman in a New York magazine interview that centered mostly on Trump. He has no qualms about calling things out. “How is a white supremacist the chief advisor to our President?” “If we get a President sometime soon who does not have a mental disorder, twitter will be useful.” You must look it up, it is worth a read!

*****Rihanna received Harvard’s Humanitarian award.

*****Roger Stone, big supporter and surrogate for Trump tried to discredit the FBI over the Iraq war. Charlie Rose had to set him straight and tell him it was a CIA report that had revealed the possible weapons of mass destruction. The man, who has a Nixon tattoo that spans his shoulders, is also under investigation for collusion with the Russians.

*****The White house is talking about creating propaganda to whip up the anti- immigrant hysteria even more: VOICE: Victims of immigration crime engagement. Some call this racist and how genocide begins.

*****Dancing with the stars is back with Charo, Mr.T, Nancy Carrigan, Simone Biles and Chris Kattan.

*****Radio shows have come full circle to become podcasts. The more things change, the more they stay the same. We still seem to like to just listen to people talk. Check out Karina Longworth with You Must Remember This. With Feud (next up for Feud: Charles and Di) going strong on FX, it is a good time to listen to her Bette/Joan episode. With Manson in the news again, there is a 12 part episode on his part in Hollywood.

*****Ann- Margret is back with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin in Going in Style.

*****Baskets has been given the greenlight for season 3!

*****Louis CK and Albert Brooks are bringing the animated The Cops to TBS.

*****Shemar Moore will be making an appearance on the season finale of Criminal Minds. His character will be bringing the team some info about ‘Scratch.” Shemar recently told ET that he wanted Morgan to call Penelope ‘Sugar tits’ instead of ‘baby girl” , but the writers wouldn’t go for that. He is also filming a CBS pilot reboot of S.W.A.T. The Criminal Minds finale airs on May 10.

*****Should we have to put up with Jeff Sessions and his lies about the Russian ambassador? We have direct evidence of deception. Comey made it official that the Trump camp is under investigation for possible collusion with the Russian involvement with the campaign. Funny that he always shot his mouth off about Hillary but was mum on this. The Republicans questioned Comey mostly about the leaks which is important but also a great distraction. The FBI reveals that Russia did not even try to hide their tracks. It is possible they were just gathering and then when they dumped the info they went through an intermediary. **Sean Spicer claims that Paul Manafort, (who seems to have many ties to Russia and who ran the campaign for a time and ran the RNC) had a very limited role with the campaign. The bugging of Trump tower was laid to rest but just not by scary clown and co. They seem to believe that GCHQ, British intelligence was involved as well. Why don’t the Republican Senators get some fucking balls and quit defending this freak? Let’s hone in on this Russian connection and get this freak out of there.**Ivanka is getting an office and top clearance? Is this an Edith Wilson situation? Does the family have to keep an eye on him? Is it time to face the sad fact that he may have dementia or a mental disorder? BTW Wendy Williams mentioned that she would rather be Tiffany than Ivanka because of all the responsibility and the whole wife and daughter thing going on. Tiffany gets to be out there living it up. Love that!**Pence is no prize either, he is always behind Trump looking like a bobble head doll. Be aware if we end up with him!

*****Hillary B. Smith is on General Hospital for a stint. Oh how I missed ya, Nora!!

*****Everyone is giving backlash about cutting funding for PBS and meals on wheels. Mick Mulvaney, director of the office of management and budget tells us it is only a 3% cut but I am guessing we will now have 3% more hungry people. He explains that a lot of people do not want their tax dollars to fund the National endowment for the arts. I do not want mine to add millions to the military budget or Mar a Lago trips or Melania’s NY shutdown (the gossip is that Trump and the first lady are basically separated). They don’t seem to give a fuck about that.**It is so great that the ‘Trump health care plan’ fell apart but Pelosi and Hoyer et al. need to stop crowing and keep fighting against the rest of the crap the majority is trying to get by with and fix the things that need fine tuning on the ACA.

***** Does anybody else find Feud and The American’s Alison Wright absolutely irresistible?? She is so fabulous!!

*****It looks like Sears and Kmart may be in the verge of going out of business.

*****Jared Kushner’s role just gets bigger and bigger. He has been appointed to reconfigure the government and deal with the border wall and negotiate peace in the Middle East. One guy? OK!

***** CBS Sunday morning informed us about the wonders of Denmark. They do have the highest cancer rates and taxes but they have the highest wages and lowest poverty rates too. They live by the word Hygge which means live simply.

*****The White House did not even send an official rep to This Week, they just sent some old buddy of Trumps. Will they start to run out of new faces to defend them? ** Bret Stephens at the Wall Street Journal wrote, “The president clings to his assertions like a drunk to an empty gin bottle.” And Bill Moyers wrote,” There’s a smell of treason in the air.” Samantha Bee likens Trumps military spending to an insecure guy who tries to make his penis look bigger. Bill Maher wonders if constitutionalist Judge Gorsuch will wonder ‘What would the slaveholders do?’ Michael Moore wrote, “Historians in the near future will mark today,3-28-17, as the day the extinction of human life on earth began, thanks 2 Donald Trump.”** Donald Trump Jr. criticized the London Mayor after the attacks.

*****And just as Scary clown 45 signed the repeal to wipe out Obama’s climate change record, An inconvenient truth sequel Truth to Power is coming out.

*****The Rolling Stones are nominated for best blues act and best blues album in the Jazz FM awards.

*****There is no clean coal!

*****The Daytime Emmy’s were announced. The Talk and Ellen lead the pack with 8 nominations. There are 5 for the View and the announcement fucked up their names. I’ll be routing for CBS Sunday morning and CBS this morning. I can’t believe that The Pioneer woman was not nominated for outstanding culinary program. I guess I will route for Trisha’s Southern Kitchen. Days of our Lives was nominated for show, directing and writing. There was best actor noms for Billy Flynn (Chad) and Vincent Irizarry (Deimos). Kate Mansi (the old Abigail) was nominated for best supporting actress and John Aniston (Victor) for supporting actor. Go Days!!!

*****The small Illinois town of West Frankfurt stood up for Carlos Hernandez. Hernandez was picked up when the immigrant ban enforcers were looking for someone else. The town vouched for him and called this out as unfair.

*****The FDA has approved food to protect food. Edipeel is a spray made out of food that can put a thin shield on fruit and protect it 5 times longer than normal. It is edible and tasteless. It will be invaluable in places with no refrigeration and help with waste.

*****Patrick Stewart is applying for American citizenship to help with the fight we are having in here at home. Agitate..Agitate..Agitate.

*****Looks like NBC has given the greenlight to an Ellen DeGeneres game show.

*****Tom Hanks sent the White house press corps an espresso machine with a note that read: “Keep up the good fight for truth, justice and the American way. Especially for the truth part.” This is a tradition he started with the Bush administration.

*****Get ready for a Big band theory spinoff.

*****Steve Martin will teach an online comedy course. The cost is $90 on Masterclass. Others who have taught are Christina Aguilera, Kevin Spacey, James Patterson, Dustin Hoffman, Werner Herzog and Aaron Sorkin. They will soon be joined by Shonda Rhimes and Hans Zimmer.

***** Caterpillar was raided by the Feds which included the IRS, CID, Inspector General and export enforcement. Word is they may be indicted for tax evasion. This could be from a 2009 lawsuit alleging the company shifted profits overseas and to offshore shell companies to avoid paying more than 2 billion in taxes.

*****Hall and Oates and Tears for Fears are set to tour.

*****This time it’s real. You see warnings on the internet all the time about your privacy rights but this time look out! The Senate has voted to repeal a set of rules aimed at protecting online data. Once again the big companies win under this administration. This could let internet providers share info. New Jersey Rep. Frank Pallone Jr. states “At a time when our personal data is more vulnerable than ever, it’s baffling that senate republicans would eliminate the few privacy protections Americans have today.” The word is that millions are pouring in for their votes. Ted Cruz reportedly got 2 mil. We will be paying the big cable giants to sell our info to the highest bidder and this could keep the FCC from ever again establishing similar consumer privacy protections. And this from a man who wants privacy with his taxes. Some of the wealthy are claiming they will buy all the info of those that voted to sold us down the river and release it to the public.

*****Robert Redford has me excited about 2 films. The first is out now about the afterlife called The Discovery. It also stars Riley Keough, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Segel and Rooney Mara. The other has distribution rights just coming together. The Old man and the gun is the true story of a thief with Sissy Spacek, Danny Glover and Casey Affleck.

*****A tribute to the music of Merle Haggard will be held in Nashville with Keith Richards, Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, Loretta Lynn, The Avett Brothers, Alison Krauss and Billy Gibbons.

*****Microfiber is causing great problems with water pollution. I knew I hated fleece.

*****There has been an official request for scary clown’s tax returns.

*****”These are not good times.” –John McCain. McCain is also very worried that North Korea’s leader is not rational and needs to be handled. It is kind of frightening when our own leader is not rational.

*****Look for the live album Charlie Watts meets Danish Radio Big Band. The music which includes Stones covers was recorded in 2010 and will drop on April 21.

*****As soon as the ACA was saved, the blame game started! Scary clown and his cohorts blamed Washington for cancelling the health care vote stating that “It’s a lot more rotten than we thought.” Trump said “I’m glad it’s behind me” and then tweeted blame to the republicans and the democrats and the very conservative republicans and it just goes on. He invited us to watch his beloved friend Judge Jeanine who minced no words in that Paul Ryan needs to step down. He is adamant that he does not blame Ryan. Ok. Jeanine scolded that we all knew a businessman would not know how to legislate but he made it clear during the election that he knew more than anybody. Is the world laughing at our “art of the deal” tough New Yorker president who was suckered by the Wisconsin dude. Trump is like the armchair quarterback who is finally thrown into the game and does not have a clue. **Bannon bullied and threatened the night before the “vote”, telling the house members that they had no choice but it seemed to work against him and wouldn’t that be the President’s job? ** The topper was Colbert using the schoolhouse rock song, “I’m just a bill” which ended with the bill blowing his brains out.

*****Some high school kids came up with We Dine Together for the new or loner kids to make some new friends. Look it up and help to open chapters locally!!

*****Zac Brown is coming out with new music.

*****Trump has now rescinded the order Obama signed requiring firms that do business with the federal government prove compliance with federal laws and executive orders. This makes Trump look like he’s doing the right thing by leaving one of Obama’s executive orders in place that prohibits the federal government from contracting with firms that discriminate based on sexual orientation and gender identity. People from the LGBT community would have to take steps to enforce it now.** College basketball in North Carolina sort of forced the repeal of the bathroom law but they leave a regulation of bathroom access solely to the control of the legislature. It prevents local government from passing or amending their own non -discrimination ordinances pertaining to private employment.

*****There is a growing number of the French who want President Obama to run for President of France. It is possible if he were so inclined. One only has to be a resident, not a natural born citizen to run for President in Great Britain, Israel, Germany, France, Canada and France.

*****The Mount Kushmore Wellness retreat tour is coming to 16 cities with Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, Cypress Hill, Method Man and Redman.

*****Are all the Russians visiting Trump and his cohorts buying their vodka at Costco?

*****Apparently Beau Biden’s widow is dating his brother Hunter Biden.

*****This year’s Seattle Hemp fest runs August 18-20.

*****Who knew that Bryan Cranston dubbed a lot of the monster voices from Japanese to English for the original Power Rangers.

*****Dimitri Rybolovlev, a Russian fertilizer businessman bought a Trump home in Florida for twice what it was worth. This was the most expensive home sale in U.S. history. He and the Presidents planes cross paths all the time though there have been many denials of this. A Russian ambassador was sitting in the front row of Trumps first press conference as President. Reports say that Scary clown went ballistic in the oval office when he discovered that Sessions recused himself. He left for Florida without his senior staff.** Now there is an inquiry about his business with an Iranian family known as the Corleoni’s of the Caspian.

*****Ben Carson called slaves immigrants and then walked it back.

*****Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep are making a film about The Pentagon Papers to be called The Post.

*****North Korea fired 5 missiles into the ocean.

*****Beef Products Inc. is suing ABC over a story they did on a meat product they called pink slime. The judge said the suit could move forward.

*****Rachel Maddow got some backlash for overdoing it on her big Trump taxes show. Some think the President himself put them out.

*****SNL’s Weekend Update is going prime time. They are also going live in all time zones on April 15th.

*****Mischa Barton has filed a lawsuit over a sex tape that was filmed without her consent.

*****A tweet from Mcdonald’s had some pretty bad things to say about our President. The tweet was taken down in 20 minutes and they claim they were compromised.

*****Days alert: Did we see Nicole on the run with that poor baby? She is more street smart than to be taken advantage of by a street hustler at the little hotel. C’mon! I hate it when characters I like leave and the way they write them off seems more exciting than when they were there. Like, I want to see Teresa’s character on her secret adventure right now. I am sick of Chad thinking about Gabby moments from his past, enough! And then bam!!, Deimos hits him where it hurts. Since Roman has retired, are they putting him in charge of the Brady Pub? I think that is perfect, he wants to take it a little easier and everybody’s favorite meeting place in Salem needs the next generation to take over.** Everyone in this country was talking about health care but I think most soap characters must have great insurance. Especially lately on Days, transplants, cancer, poisoning.. the hospital has been full up.** Hooray.. Adrienne picked Lucas, it’s about fucking time!!

*****Ben Affleck is recently out of rehab.

*****It looks like they are talking about remaking ‘The Fly’.

*****Netflix has the global rights to Orson Welles unfinished final film ’The Other Side of the Wind’.

*****Robert Blake is getting married again. His third wife is Pam Hudak that he had dated back in 1991 and previously lived in his guest house.

*****Can we all vote by mail yet?? What is the problem??

*****Looks like Kyle Bush is a bit of a hot head. He went after Joey Lagano after a race.

*****The Japanese prime minister was telling us what happened in some meetings he had with the Pres. I guess we are getting official news by way of Japan now since scary clown tells us nothing of any real importance.

*****Will Scary Clown 45 bring war as a jobs program? Where are the jobs he promised? There are many empty offices in Washington right now that could be filled with employed workers. He has many jobs to give and he won’t do it and they are firing people left and right. Look at the money we spend on getting him to Mir a Lago and the delusional investigations he wants into wiretapping etc. Just think of what a poor family could do with that money. This administration is gutting the EPA and that is just the beginning. The only good news is the stock market is up. He really behaves more like a cult leader than a President. He talks only in front of the people who worship him. I’m sure he can’t believe his dumb luck that so many Americans are uninformed. He communicates in “facts” that only he seems to understand. He sends out his minions to spread HIS intellectual pollution back to their audience of one. Charles Manson is of ill health and perhaps is not long for this world so I guess scary clown 45 is the new evil, the deplorables are the new ‘family’.

*****The liberal rednecks of comedy make me wonder when those raised with hate and or narrow teachings will rebel against their parents and become liberals filled with acceptance.

*****What is all this touching on late night talk shows?

*****Climate March on March 29. Scientists March on April 22.

*****Charlie Rose is back.

*****”The level of complete corruption from the fossil fuel industry that marks this administration is like nothing we’ve ever seen.”- Environmentalist Bill Mckibben.

*****What kind of a person could actually believe that a ‘billionaire’ who has tried to buy up sanctuaries to put up more towers with his name on them would help the environment? Will these same people who allowed themselves to be whipped up into a frenzy of fear and anxiety love it when Yellowstone disappears? Well, they do seem to be on board with everything else so perhaps they don’t care. The pain of this election is unbearable but will some good come of it? Will he and friends who say no to everything that isn’t their idea or does not help the richest of us learn anything from this? Will their eyes be open to what it really feels like when they all get on top of you? I mean are they capable of seeing what it really fucking feels like? If they hate government so much, why do they want to be a part of it? Well, of course to tip the scales in their favor.

*****Arnold Schwarzenegger has quit Celebrity Apprentice.

*****The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg News and Time will not attend White House briefings if other outlets (CNN, New York Times etc.) are not allowed in. Good for them but perhaps they need to keep working behind the scenes on digging for the truth about scary clown 45 but not reporting every little thing he distracts us with. For instance the ‘wiretap’ stuff is proven wrong so quit talking about it and move on!** Rex Tillerson told a reporter, “I didn’t want this job.” Sources say Tillerson shuffles in and out through back doors ignoring important diplomats and his minions are not allowed to look him in the eye. Tell me this is not true!

*****Sam Rodriguez Jr., who led a prayer at the Trump Inauguration is giving a safe haven to those worried about immigration raids. His New Season Christian Worship Center also gives shelter to victims of domestic violence.

*****A young intruder jumped the fence at the White House and 2 more followers have tried to get in too.

*****Trivia lovers: We have a new worst President!

*****The Brexit process began on March 29.

*****Beauty and the Beast set some records. It was the biggest March opening ever and the biggest PG opening ever.

*****The newest Monopoly tokens are a T. Rex, a rubber ducky and a penguin.

*****Thank you Martin Sheen for inspiring Malibu to become a sanctuary city.

*****Two stolen Van Gogh’s that were found last September were put on display again in Amsterdam.

*****The 9th season of RuPauls drag race is here!

*****Florida has a wheel of fugitives that spin to focus in on certain missing law breakers.

*****The new health care plan is loaded with massive tax cuts for the rich and no budget for it. The AMA and AARP do not support it. They kept a little of the good parts of Obamacare and changed wording on some things that Dems had wanted and they had previously refused. Estimates say that 60% of Trump voters will get their repeal of the ACA but it will cost them more for health care. Big drug companies get a healthy tax break and it is like a gift to insurance companies. All the Obama haters that wanted everything repealed sound a little mixed on the tax breaks for the rich. Did they not realize that the money was coming from somewhere? It is bad enough when I see people believe a story or two from the enquirer or wonder about a conspiracy theory but the things that pass for fact in the White House is delusional. The swamp is thriving just fine!

*****Lizzie Borden is coming to the big screen with Chloe Sevigny and Kristen Stewart.

*****OMG.. The new Twin peaks has added Laura Dern, Michael Cera and Jennifer Jason Leigh!!!!

*****Way to go Ted Koppel for giving Sean Hannity a reality check. Somebody has to be the voice of reason.

*****We still don’t know much about season 7 of American Horror Story. The cast gathered at the Paley center to talk about last season. It looks like it may be about the 2016 election and we know that Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are on board and that it will come back in the fall.

*****Funny or die is bringing us 10 episodes of Sarah Silverman’s,’ I love you America.’

*****George Conway (Kellyanne’s husband) has been nominated to lead the justice department.

*****There is a new Jack Cassidy (son of Patrick), who is joining the family in entertainment.

*****Scary Clown 45 says Obama released 122 prisoners from Gitmo when we know 113 of them were by Bush.

*****Rob Reiner, I am so glad you are out there fighting the good fight for us!

*****Hawaii has filed the first lawsuit on the new travel ban. Federal judges agree but the Trump supporters want to boycott Hawaii.

*****This is not Sean Spicer’s first time at the White house. He used to be the Easter bunny in the 2000’s.

*****A DC restaurant filed suit against the Trump hotel across the street.

*****The whole ‘Janet Jackson has a daughter’ thing is back in the news.

*****In Cold Blood killer Dick Hickock wrote his own manuscript, with some help from Kansas City journalist Mack Nations called The High Road to Hell and it has just now surfaced. Before Hickock was executed, it seems that Truman Capote would not have wanted it published. Random House had a deal with Capote and some digging has shown that he fought against the other publication.

*****The new Avatar land, Pandora in Florida looks like Summer camp and it will open around the same time at the end of May.

*****Conan tweets have been on fire lately.

*****Ski joring that mixes skiing with horses is becoming more popular. I expect to see my cousin Cat doing it real soon.

*****A study of 6,000 UK teens showed that high achieving students were 50% more likely to use Marijuana occasionally.

*****Worldwide poverty has been cut in half.

*****Tomi Lahren has been suspended from her show Tomi on The Blaze network. She told the ladies of The View that she is pro -choice. Glenn Beck has spoken out against her. The network tag line is ”a platform for a new generation of authentic and unfiltered voices.” Hmmm.

*****Can’t wait for The Pollinator from Blondie. The new LP drops on May 5 with some help from Joan Jett, Laurie Anderson and Dev Hynes.

***** So.. Obama could not even get his Supreme Court nominee looked at but a President who is under investigation expects his pick to sail right thru?

*****Studies show that Subway chicken is only 50% chicken.

*****How wonderful that Michael Moore is showing Taylor Hackford’s Hail Hail Rock ‘n Roll in his Michigan theatre to honor Chuck Berry.

***** Look for Michael Nesmith’s new book and cd, Infinite Tuesday: Autobiographical riffs!

*****R.I.P. Robert Osborne, Fred Weintraub, Joni Sledge, Chuck Berry, Jimmy Breslin, Chuck Barris. Robert James Walker, the victims of the London attack,

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