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theyearoftheking · 5 years ago

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Book Thirty-Two: Needful Things

“Why is it that so many people think all the answers are in their wallets?”

When I started this blog, it was kind of funny how life events were lining up with the books I was reading. I finished The Stand just as we were starting to learn about Coronavirus. I read Misery while we were all stuck in quarantine. And this weekend I finished Needful Things just as riots were starting to break out all over the country.

I’m not egotistical enough to think my reading of these books is bringing them to life, but I’m also kind of terrified to crack into The Dome... just sayin. And I guess we did avoid murderous clown shenanigans with It, so maybe it’s just a freaky coincidence. But I might skip Sleeping Beauties just to be safe.

I might have discovered my new favorite Steve book. This was my first time reading Needful Things, and the story captured me in a way I wasn’t expecting. I was immediately reminded of Something Wicked This Way Comes; which my husband admitted to never having read/watched the movie, which is a real tragedy. But the book truly feels like one big piece of Bradbury fan fiction. And I’m not at all mad about that.

Before cracking into Needful Things, I recommend going back and reading Sun Dog, the last novella in Four Past Midnight. Sun Dog brings us back to Castle Rock, Maine, and introduces the characters we explore further in Needful Things. Reading it isn’t mandatory, but it does make for a richer experience. In the introduction to Sun Dog, King explains Needful Things is the last book he’s going to set in Castle Rock (lies). For those keeping count, we’ve got Cujo, The Dead Zone, The Dark Half, and The Body (Stand By Me). All these stories are referenced in Needful Things, and we even find out what happened to our friend Thad Beaumont from The Dark Half. Spoiler: it’s not great.

“By virtue of Thad’s drunken phonecalls, Alan had become an unwilling witness to the crash of Thad’s marriage and the steady erosion of the man’s sanity.”

Additionally, Thad’s wife Liz took the twins and deuced out. I mean... not surprising. I don’t know how one recovers from being stalked by their alter-ego, and having their house busted into by a bunch of sparrows. In case you need a reminder about all the shenanigans and bad luck Castle Rock has endured, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version:

Before I get into the plot of the story, I’m going to issue a Trigger Warning. Needful Things does deal with the suicide of a young boy, as well as the murder of two seperate animals.

Needful Things is a quaint little shop which just opened up in downtown Castle Rock, and it promises oddities and strange little finds. The proprietor of the shop is Leland Gaunt, and he seems to have something for everyone. Everything from aviator sunglasses worn by Elvis, to autographed Sandy Koufax baseball cards, to a splinter believed to have come off Noah’s Ark, to a necklace believed to cure arthritis. Every little oddity in the shop is wildly affordable, but comes with a few strings attached. Gaunt asks a favor, or a “prank” of each patron that comes into the shop.

Slowly but surely, he’s got the entire town feuding. It starts with two old women dueling on a street corner, because one believes the other killed her dog, and the other believes she threw mud on her clean laundry and broke her windows. Gaunt plays on the already growing tensions in town: the Catholic church wanting to have a casino night fundraiser, and the Baptists who are fiercely opposed to the idea. The embezzling city official who parks in the handicapped spot, and the deputy who is pressured by his boss to give him a ticket for it. Before long, these “pranks” and “favors” are adding up, and the town is thrown into a state of chaos. Meanwhile, Leland Gaunt just sits back and smiles.

It falls to Sheriff Alan Pangborn to try and figure out what’s going on in town, and how the riots started. He visits little Sean Rusk in the hospital, who witnessed his older brother Brian commit suicide. Brian had stopped into Needful Things and left with an autographed and personalized Sandy Koufax card, which of course came with a few small strings attached. Brian ends up committing a few acts of vandalism that led to the old lady duel. The guilt eats him alive, and he shoots himself. Sean tells Sheriff Pangborn Brian was acting strange lately, he had caught him mooning over a random, ratty baseball card. NOT the autographed, personalized Sandy Koufax card Brian thought it was... Because, dark magic.

So, Alan starts to get an idea of who is behind the madness plaguing Castle Rock. As his city is looting, rioting and falling down around him, he goes to confront Gaunt with prank snakes in a can. You know... a real prank... not like killing someone’s dog, or ruining their laundry. The snakes take on some kind of magical power, and send Gaunt on his way to Iowa. I speak for all midwestern folk when I say, “God speed to Iowa, Gaunt. That state could use some livening up...”

The book was fantastic; there were so many threads that came together at the end, it was masterful. And I speak for everyone who has bought crazy, random shit off the internet during quarantine... at least my Keds/truffle infused hot sauce/Christian McCaffrey jersey/protein powder/2 liter water bottle didn’t come with any strings attached. Just sayin.

There were two Dark Tower references... at two different points in the book, Steve referred to people battling as, “gunslingers”. No Wisconsin references, and I’m kinda glad. The last thing we need is some Leland Gaunt up in our already messed up state.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 25

Total Dark Tower References: 25

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

I hope everyone stays safe amid the riots and protests, and the ever-looming threat of Coronavirus. I’m one hundred pages into The Wastelands, and it’s the ultimate escape reading for me. Walking into Roland’s ka-tet is like coming back to see old friends. Lovely.

Until next time, long days & pleasant nights,

Rebecca

#stephen king #constant readers #needful things #castle rock #dark tower #ray bradbury #something wicked this way comes #cujo #the dark half #sun dog #the body #stand by me

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diaryformytravels · 5 years ago

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#25 Toronto (Day 10)

Jasper’s Blog Day 25.

Day 25 has come and gone, every day gets harder to make it through to the next. I don't know how long I can survive. Food is running out, water seems undrinkable. This habitat is inhabitable. Everyday gets longer, every night gets shorter, and the weeks are blurring into months. I have mere days left until they find me. If you don't hear from me again, you’ll know where to look.

JC, Mon 25Jan, 9:33pm.

Okay now for the real blog,

Michelle awoke us yet again at dawn (11:00am exactly). The previous night we gave her the option of either Monday (today) was the shopping outlets, and Tuesday was the mall again, or vice versa. Mum told us when she woke us that it was in fact a mall day, and that we would be leaving at 12:00. So we did our thang and got ready by 12, to find that Michelle and Mikko were still strutting it in pyjamas.

Come 12:30 were off! They decide they don't want to come so they drop us off, and we told them in the car we’re thinking about seeing a movie and then doing some shopping. (It feels like we have to clear everything we’re doing with them to make sure they don't have anything random planned and to let them know not to make stupid plans that hinder what we’ve already planned.) Luckily, we got the all clear. Morgs was wearing her new cool pants she got from Urban Outfitters the previous day. We also decided once in Singapore, we’re going to sit you both down and do a catwalk of everything we’ve bought, so you have that to look forward too.

We arrive at the mall and we’ve decided not to take any scarves, beanies, gloves, jackets etc... as they're too annoying to have to carry around all day, so we ran to the door!!!! Once inside we went straight to the cinema to check the film times, we concluded we’d see Jumanji 2 again, which was on in 35 minutes. Next stop: Food Court. We got Indian again and had some very average butter chicken, and then made it to the movie. Like before, we loved it, very funny movie, and Dwayne is one sexy hunk-a-spunk!

We get out of the movie to a text from Michelle saying that they’ve decided to go Ice Skating when they pick Max up from school, but they want us to come too. And that they'd pick us up at 4:15. The movie finished at 3:50.

Infuriating. This was EXACTLY why I told them what our plans were so they WOULD NOT DO THIS. This made me very angry. We had planned to shop and had stuff we want/needed to get. I needed a case/protector for my laptop as it’s getting very scratched carrying it around everywhere. And Morgs needed to go to Sephora, to get eyeliner and other stuff (primer??) that she forgot to bring with her. We also saw a very cool clothes store downstairs, oh and I also needed to get a charging cable for my mouse, because it’s being difficult (not a real mouse, the click-click mouse). So now we’re rushing through stores to try get and find everything when mum calls and says “We're thinking about going straight there, we can bring your skates for you” I looked at Morgan in her nice new pants, and jumper, and myself in my nice jersey and jeans. Both without necessary cold attire. I just said no we’re not, if we’re going, we’re getting thermals on, and snow pants etc... and we’d have to go home first.

We quickly shop, but time is fleeting. It’s okay though because mum said she'd call when they’re 5 minutes away, (they were picking Max up from school then coming straight to mall to get us) so we’re in our little cool clothes shop when we get the call! “We’re here! Where are you?”

I’m sorry, but WHAT?!?!

So we run up the escalator and to the pick up point they wanted us to go to and as we’re running past a bench, we see max sitting on it, on his phone. We turn to see Michelle lining up for Cinnabon. I then politely asked, what the fuck is this? They then explained they were 10 minutes early and decided to get a snack for max before skating. We're not hungry though, thanks for asking! God mothers are the worst. Why not send a text and let us know?

Once in the car, mum got confused because she did send a text saying they were early and for us to take our time and they were getting a snack.

She sent that text to Max... who of course couldn't receive it and let her know she sent it to him. BECAUSE HIS PHONE WAS FLAT, BECAUSE HE DOESN’T PUT IT ON CHARGE HIMSELF. If Michelle or Mikko don’t end up putting it on charge, he doesn't have a phone!! Baby Max! Baby Max! Baby Max!!

Also in the car, I explain to Mum that her credit card she gave me wasn’t working properly. It worked for the movie food, and the food court, but not the movie tickets or my laptop protector. She then got SO ANGRY???? Saying the card is fine and it’s clearly a user error and I’ve done something wrong (she said this angry). Yeah okay Michelle, you're right, I don't know how to use it, that's why it worked 2/4 times. I clearly knew how to work it, why would I not know how to work her credit card? I’ve been doing it for years 😉. But she didn’t like or enjoy how I said I know how to use it. So I let it go.

In this instance ‘letting it go’ was having an argument and everyone yelling for 10 minutes 😇😇😇

We’re home and we get changed and off we go! It was cold and miserable (maybe it was just me being in a bad mood that made it cold and miserable for myself) but ten minutes in, we were all having fun!! What a fantastic dysfunctional family!! Morgs and I took turns playing ice hockey with Max (as seen in the snapchats!) and at one point, max hit her with his hockey stick, right in the nose! KARMA for being the least difficult one on this trip.

And to top it off, we did a cheeky maccas run on the way home. Exactly what was needed.

Morgs watched some Kath and Kim while I had a shower, and max did some study for his exam tomorrow. He had one today too. Then Max, Morgs and I started watching Johnny English, the first one, we will watch all 3 before Orlando. Come 9:00, halfway through the movie, mum comes down to put Max to bed. He. Did. Not. Like. This. At. All.

He threw quite possibly the biggest tantrum we've seen on the trip so far. Crying and screaming, throwing his socks at mum (wtf?), the whole time yelling “YOU PROMISED ME MORE TIME. YOU SAID I COULD HAVE MORE TIME. YOU PROMISED. THIS IS NOT FAIR”. Morgs and I have never been so amused, I was mocking him by yelling at mum saying “YOU TOOK MY TIME. GIVE IT BACK TO ME! IT’S MINE.”

So off to bed max went, crying as he walked up two flights of stairs, we bid Michelle farewell and now we’re in bed. We told max we wouldn't watch the rest of the movie without him because he was enjoying it so much. Tomorrow we’re going to the outlets, but I won't say anymore than that so I don't spoil Morg’s blog tomorrow! Although I do suspect it will include some Johnny English.

Ta Ta and Farewell.

End our suffering x

J (and M)

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thedrowsydoormouse · 5 years ago

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1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

All the time. I wouldn’t be shocked if I woke up one day still as a little kid and all this was some weird fever dream.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Is 0 an option? If not then 1.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Jared Leto. I have zero interest being sexually harassed or any of the other shit he thinks is ok. My other answer would’ve been Harvey Weinstein but I’ve regrettably already met him at a party when I was 13 and promptly threw up in a trash can because the vibes I got off him were so negative they made me physically ill.

4. What is your favorite word?

Fuck. It’s so versatile.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Palm tree.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“Holy shit! My hair’s still curly! I thought that bun fucked it up!”

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A super old black tank top with a faded Union Jack on it that’s covered in holes but is super comfy so I wear it to bed.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Demi-pansexual goth-y punk rocker chick with emotional intimacy issues, a biting wit, and a flair for the dramatic

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark. I’m like a vampire. I hate the light. It gives me headaches.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Watching TV.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

So far 25 has been pretty good.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My partner.

13. Your worst enemy?

Red meat. Makes me crazy sick.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

It’d be awkward if I didn’t considering I’m in a committed relationship.

16. The last song you listened to?

Basket Case by Green Day.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Trump. It’d solve so many problems.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Trump. Any question like this has the exact same answer.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I’d make Trump be my slave while I donate both of our time helping the homeless and the “illegal” immigrants in Downtown LA. That way I can punish him while also doing some good.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair. When I let it air dry it has the best curls I’ve ever seen!

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I’d probably look the same but without tits and I’d probably jerk off a lot.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I can always predict when my brother’s going to be home to within a 10 minute window.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Dying at Disneyland.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Caprese sandwich. It’s just as good fresh as it is as a grilled cheese.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Probably on either makeup or skincare because I need to replace a few things that I’m running low on.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Tokyo Disney Resort.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Captain Morgan Watermelon Smash. I love watermelon and I love rum and that’s the best mix of the two.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Every single person is equal. Full stop. Anyone who says otherwise is banished back to the mainland.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My dance bag. It has a lot of good memories attached to it and has my first pair of pointe shoes in it which I can’t replace.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching the plane hit the 2nd tower live on TV on 9/11 when I was only 7. It fucked me up so badly I’m still in therapy for it.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

I’d probably wanna move to either Paris or Tokyo.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Carrie Fisher. The world needs our crazy space mom to shock it back into the good timeline.

34. What was your last dream about?

It was super mundane. I was painting my nails. They were gorgeous.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

I’m good at a lot of things.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

No. And I hope I never am until I’m in a body bag on my way to the morgue.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I’m from Southern California. We don’t get snow.

38. What is the color of your socks?

One is aqua with flamingos and pineapples and the other is grey with rainbows and clouds. They are also currently inside out.

39. What type of music do you like?

I mostly listen to punk, grunge, classing rock, show tunes, stuff like that. I’m pretty open to everything except religious, children's, and rap. And free-form jazz. I hate that shit.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

It depends on where I’m getting it but anything super sugary.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I hate football. The only sport I even sorta watch is baseball.

43. Do you have any scars?

A few. None of them are very noticeable, though, and they’re all in hidden places.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I wanted to do something in the entertainment industry. So I studied costume design. Instead I just fucked up my mental and physical heath almost to the point of no return.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Nothing. I love myself exactly as I am.

46. Are you reliable?

Shockingly, yes. I seem super flaky but if you need someone to get something done or remember some random shit I’m your girl.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Depends on how far in the future. But I think it would be who wins the presidential election this year. Because if we have to deal with 4 more years of Trump I’m going to kill myself.

48. Do you hold grudges?

Like you wouldn’t believe.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

CatDog. And not just because of the cartoon from when I was a kid.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Me and my therapist were talking about how Columbus is the reason humans have chlamydia.

51. Are you a good liar?

Extremely.

52. How long could you go without talking?

However long I need to. I spend a lot of time alone so talking isn’t really a big deal for me.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

I once had a bob when I was a kid. It wasn’t a good look. I don’t have the bone structure.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I love baking and cakes are super fun to make!

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Many! I used to do theatre and the more accents you could do the more roles you could get.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter. Melted. I’m a simple girl.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

I was watching Next In Fashion and got pissed that they didn’t have a single plaid fabric in the studio so I drew this red carpet look using almost entirely plaids.

58. What would be you dream car?

A motorcycle.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I love to sing in the bath. I even have a special playlist that’s just songs I sing in the bath.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I’d be stupid not to.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

I used to. Not so much anymore.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

This is a stupid question.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons. Hands down.

64. What do you think about babies?

Cool in theory, horrible in practice. I will never be a mom.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

I’ll use the same question I asked @anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam which was “If your universe suddenly stopped existing and you had to pick another one to live in, which would you pick?” and my answer would be probably the one that I keep seeing in my head that I’m writing a book about because I know shit isn’t going to hit the fan and the world is actually on the mend. But only if I can swap places with the main character of the book because she’s awesome and I love the way her story ends.

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ijustcantholdthefeels · 7 years ago

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65 questions you are not used to

I saw this post right after getting into my bed back at home, and since I have 0 chill I answered almost all of the questions.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? On the contrary, sometimes I’m on the subway thinking about all the other people around me and it makes me feel like my problems are not that big.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? I'm gonna say 2.

3. The person you would never want to meet? Donald Trump.

4. What is your favorite word? If I think about it right now, the ones that come to mind in my mothertongues are "rendija" and "acàcia".

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? ... a fucking PINE.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? "You look good, don't worry."

7. What shirt are you wearing? I'm wearing a dark grey onesie :')

8. What do you label yourself as? Anxoveta.

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright bright bright please ("dark room" reminds me of Life is Strange)

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Reading fanfiction. Especifically, "Send nudes, winky face" by thephilosophah. Go read that bakusquad masterpiece.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? My current 22 or when I my sister was born, 7 years old.

12. Who told you they loved you last? My dad.

13. Your worst enemy? Myself.

14. What is your current desktop picture? Kirishima Eijirou's silouette :')

15. Do you like someone? Well, duh. I like my sister, I like my squad, I like a boy in my master's too.

16. The last song you listened to? Exo, by Beyoncé.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? *burns this question* Bakugou, don't be rude. We don’t explode people.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? All the pedophiles in the world.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Fuck this question in particular: I'd never have a slave.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My MOUTH!

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I'd look like a really skinny and cheerful gay boi (I really like men, they are aesthetic af) and the first thing I'd do would be jerk off.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I can speak a really stupid and invented language (my sister is the only other speaker)

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unhappiness.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Le Poisedon from the Monoprix in Croix de Chavaux. It was made of dark bread with pumpkin seeds, salmon, cream cheese, lettuce and cucumber.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? I'd but lots of different cakes and invite my family and friends over.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? I just came back home from abroad, so I'm good. I'll give the ticket to my friend Belén so that she can go and meet her idols.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Be kind to everyone always.

29. What is your favorite expletive? ... my wot.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I can't pick one, I've been thinking for several minutes now.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! ... dude.

34. What was your last dream about? I was in a relationship with one friend from a music summercamp and we were chilling in a little village near the sea. Everything was alright, life was easy.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Student? Not really these days hahahaha.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Nope.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes!!!!

38. What is the color of your socks? Dark grey with mustard yellow stars

39. What type of music do you like? I generally like everything, but these days I'm into electronic/dance music and lo-fi/vaporwave shit.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunrises are ethereal, man.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Can I say cacaolat?

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) Força Barça! (But the old Barça, the one when I was 6 years old and I played football for hours with my father in our patio dressed with the full equipation or Guardiola’s dream team, I guess).

43. Do you have any scars? Yeah, one on one side of my chin from when a classmate threw a piece of cement to my face :)

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? A happy and motivated human being.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My self-confidence, my pessimist views. I'd turn them around to make them the opposite of what they are.

46. Are you reliable? I guess so.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Are you happy with the life you have?

48. Do you hold grudges? ... fuck, yes.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? I have 0 doubts with this one: DRAGONS.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Shit, I don't know. 404 not found.

51. Are you a good liar? Yes, but never to my mum.

52. How long could you go without talking? Less than 24 hours.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? El kirikiTM in 2nd ESO

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Nay.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I don't think so.

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and only butter! Maybe Nutella if I’m feeling like it.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I tried to draw a funicular (keyword being "tried").

58. What would be you dream car? An electric blue Seat Marbella (i like small, old cars, even though i don’t particularly like driving).

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I LOVE SINGING IN THE SHOWER.

60. Do you believe in aliens? A 100%.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Nah, don't really believe in it.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I'm between A and R.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? This one is more difficult than question #49, but I'm gonna say dragons again.

64. What do you think about babies? Future heroes.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. You can make one (1) fictional character non-ficitional anymore. Who would you choose?

#text post #me

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hardcandyhaz · 7 years ago

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Temporary // H.S. (pt 3)

Harry is a lonely businessman, Rosie is a struggling graduate student, and their agreement is only temporary

Part 2 // Read on Wattpad

Part 3

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Startled, I cut off my conversation with Hadley and swiveled in my seat to see who had taken a spot on the other side of me at the bar. “Harry? Are you stalking me?” I asked and he grinned, shaking his head.

“Just here for a drink after work.” He said. “And I'm hoping I can persuade you toward accepting our agreement. What's your poison?” He asked.

“A Singapore sling, if you insist.” I said, turning around to check on Hadley who had moved to the opposite side of the bar to flirt with a Sig.

“Some friend you have.” Harry commented and I shrugged.

“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do for free drinks.” I replied. “We can't afford to buy any.”

“S’that why you have a water?” Harry asked. I nodded and turned back to him, taking a sip and leaning on the counter.

“I don't tend to attract frat boys quite like Hadley. Didn't have any luck until you came along.” I said as a Singapore sling was set between us.

“Fortunately for me. Now I have all your attention.”

I smiled, sipping on my cocktail. “Yes you do. Better use it wisely.”

***

“Rosie!” Hadley squealed, throwing her arms around my shoulders. “I'm going to go home with Matt,” she continued, pointing at a Sig boy with her thumb.

“No, you're not.” I said, looking at the frat boy behind her. “Sorry, Matt. She's too drunk.”

He simply shrugged and walked away, which I'll admit was much better than past encounters with drunk Hadley and someone who wanted to sleep with her.

“You're mean,” Hadley slurred, resting her head on my shoulder. “Just wanna get laid every once in awhile and you can't even let me do that.” She continued, her words barely intelligible.

“Not when you're this wasted. You'll thank me in the morning.” I said, looking at Harry. “Sorry. I need to get her home.”

“I can take you,” Harry offered. “Safer than a cab or Uber.”

“You sure?” I asked and he nodded. “Okay,” I said. “Hadley, ready to go?”

“I guess.”

Slowly, we made our way outside, Hadley stumbling every couple steps. I helped her into Harry’s sleek black Range Rover and slid into the passenger seat, sighing as Harry started the car. “Sorry, Harry. Can't imagine taking a random drunk girl home is how you wanted to spend your Friday night.”

“Hey, got to spend my Friday night at a bar with you instead of a bar alone. It's fine.” He assured me, driving toward the apartment.

When we got there, Hadley had fallen asleep in the back seat. “Dammit. Hadley?” I asked, opening the door and shaking her. “Had?”

She groaned, rolling over in the back seat. “Rosie,” she mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“Carry me.”

“I can't. You're too heavy. Come on, just a quick walk up to the apartment then we can put you to bed.” I said.

“I got her,” Harry said, nudging me out of the way and lifting Hadley out of the backseat.

“Damn, you're hot.” Hadley whispered and Harry chuckled, looking back at me.

“I am so sorry.” I said again.

Once Harry set Hadley down on her bed, I made sure she got to work taking off her shoes. “Thanks again, Harry.”

“Harry!” Hadley gasped and we both looked at her in confusion. “You're Rosie’s sugar daddy!”

“Okay, that's enough. We're out.” I said, ushering Harry out of the room. “I'm so sorry, oh my god, every time I think it can't get worse it gets worse.” I said as I walked Harry to the door.

“It's alright, darling. I don't mind.” He said, opening the door. “She isn't wrong. Assuming you say yes, I mean. Goodnight, Rosie. I hope to hear from you on Sunday.”

“Bye, Harry.”

***

“Rosie,” Hadley groaned the next morning as I sipped my coffee at the desk. “The blinds. Close them.”

“They are closed.” I said, wandering into to the kitchen to grab some Advil and coffee for her. “You tried to sleep with a Sig boy last night.” I continued when I came back, handing her the pills and setting the mug on her bedside table.

“Yeah, I remember.” She said, her voice croaking as she pushed herself up and downed the pills in quick succession. “I remember everything, unfortunately. Sorry about Harry.”

I shrugged. “He wasn't put off or anything. Said he hoped to hear from me tomorrow.”

“Good.” She nodded, sipping at her coffee. “Rosie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you please make me pancakes?”

“Sure. Even though you almost scared away my potential sugar daddy.”

“You're seriously the best and I love you.”

I had an uneventful shift from noon to five and once I got home, the rest of the evening was spent lounging in the living room with Hadley while we did homework.

“Shit!” Hadley gasped. “The ticket!”

“The one you got for parking in the wrong lot? What about it?” I asked.

“I had to pay it by midnight yesterday! Fuck, now I have to pay another $25 and that makes me short for rent.”

“It’s okay.” I said. “I have some extra money from the plasma center, use that.”

“I’ll pay you back. Put it on the board,” Hadley sighed, referring to the corkboard of IOUs we had, overflowing with notecards that kept track of how much money we owed somebody.

“No need, Harry will make up for it somehow.” I replied.

“So you’re going to say yes?” Hadley asked excitedly.

“Free college. I’d be a dumbass not to.”

***

“You’re not meeting Harry like that?” Hadley asked when I walked into the living room, phone in hand and ready to call Harry.

“Who said anything about meeting?” I asked, looking down at my sweats.

“You idiot. You asked for it in writing, you’ll have to meet somewhere to go over and sign everything, yeah? You have to put on clothes. And makeup, probably.”

“Fine. But I’m not wearing a skirt again.”

Fifteen minutes later I walked back into the living room looking more presentable, dialing Harry’s number.

“Rosie,” He said immediately upon answering.

“Hi, Harry.”

“I have everything written up, if you want.” He continued. “Join me for dinner at Tilth?”

“Sure, what time?”

“I’ll come get you. Be there in about an hour.” He said.

“Okay.”

“See you soon. Rosie.” He said before hanging up.

I threw my phone at the couch, followed quickly by my purse. “I need to go put on a fucking skirt.” I muttered, stalking out of the room.

***

A little more than an hour later I was sitting at a table across from Harry, sipping on a flute of champagne as he went over the agreement.

“Are you seeing anyone, Rosie?” He asked.

I shook my head. “Wouldn’t be here if I was.”

“Are you interested in dating?”

“Not particularly.”

“Good. It would only complicate things with the press if we were seen with other people.” He said. “You’re in your fourth year, yeah?”

“Yes, but I have a minor that has me there an extra year.”

He nodded, scribbling out a line and writing down something else in it’s place, presumably another two semesters worth of tuition. “Alright, see if this looks good.” He said, sliding the paper over to me.

“Rent, too?” I asked, looking up from the writing.

He nodded. “You’ve had loans carrying you through college, I know, and you don’t have to worry about them anymore, but you still struggle to make rent with the hours the cafe gives you. Since I’m asking you to cut your hours it’s only fair.”

“You have a ridiculous amount of money, don’t you?” I asked, scribbling my name on the dotted line.

“More than I’d care to admit.” He replied. “Keep it,” He continued when I tried handing the paper back to him. “The only person who gets screwed over if this goes wrong is you.”

I shrugged, folding it and putting it in my purse. Just then, our waiter came back with our food. “Alright, one parsnip risotto,” He said, setting Harry’s plate down in front of him. “And a house made gnocchi for the lady.” He continued, setting your plate down in front of you with a wink.

“Excuse me,” Harry said. “I’d thank you kindly to keep your eyes to yourself.”

The waiter’s face flared red. “Of course, apologies, sir.” He stuttered before walking away from the table.

“Be nice, Harry.” I said. “Didn’t have to scare him half to death.”

“Did so,” He replied, sipping his own champagne. “He shouldn’t be eyeing you up like that, not when you’re with another man.”

“He’s harmless.”

He shrugged, stabbing at his risotto with a fork. “I suppose. When’s rent due?”

“Friday.” I replied. “It’s due the last Friday of every month.”

“How much?” He asked.

“Nine hundred even.”

He nodded. “We can meet up sometime this week and get your bank account set up for direct deposit.”

I nodded. “So what now?” I asked.

“Now we finish dinner, then I take you home so you can study.”

***

“I’m home!” I called when getting back to the apartment and Hadley trotted out of the bedroom to meet me like a puppy.

“How is life as a new sugar baby?” She asked.

“Fantastic.” I sighed, toeing off my shoes and falling onto the couch. “It means champagne and food. Real food.” I continued, waving my box of leftover at Hadley. “It’s all yours.”

Hadley snatched the box from my hands, opening and sighing. “It smells fantastic.”

“It is.”

“So when do you quit your job at the cafe?” Hadley asked as she wandered into the kitchen to heat up my leftovers.

“I don’t. Just cut my hours.” I replied, following her. “If this all goes to shit I’ll need a job again.”

“How many hours does he want you working then?”

“Fifteen at the most. Ten preferably.”

“Damn, that’s like nothing. Is he going to get you a new apartment? A new car so I can stop giving you rides and you can live a life of luxury?”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” I said.

“Damn, that’s unfortunate. Because you really suck.”

“Excuse me, do you want to eat something other than ramen tonight?” I asked, eyeing the leftovers in the fridge.

“Yes! I take it back!”

“Anyway, it’s late, I’m going to bed.” I said.

“Good night! Sleep well not having to worry about any of your debt!” Hadley called after me and I giggled, falling into bed with a sigh, ready to face the upcoming week knowing I’d make rent.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #sugar daddy!harry #by hardcandyharries

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floridageekscene · 5 years ago

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Before we get into the questions, I’d like to say that cosplaying draws some of the best people in the world. Before I got into it, I associated grown adults wearing costumes as some sort of deviant lifestyle; like how much must their life suck if they have to pretend to be someone else? Then I fell into it, and I realized that it can be a powerful tool to brighten up the life of a child who may not have much going right; or be a momentary enjoyment to someone who’s life has been knocked down. It’s not easy to explain until you’ve done it. There’s a gift there for the artists that can do it, and do it well. Not everyone can afford a theme park ticket, but they can go to a con at the local library for free, or go to a community event at the sheriff sub-station, and meet Chewbacca and Darth Vader and Stormtroopers and Rey. To see a kid’s reaction is really special. It might be the only time that child will get so close to a hero that they see on tv, and I think of that when I do events. I remember fondly a response that Don Spiers gave to a local news reporter along the lines of “within the four walls of a con, anything can happen, and dreams can be realized. It’s the only place in the world where that can happen.” Leo Nocedo : How did you discover cosplaying? Troy Whigham : I was a WW2 reenactor sitting bored in my office one day (the usual requisite before spending a lot of money and filling my house with a lot of stuff I don’t need) when I started looking for something to fill the down-time during the WW2 reenactor off-season. I found Necronomicon and became interested in sitting in on some of its creative writing panels. I didn’t want to go alone, so I roped my reenactor buddy, who had his Bachelors in Literature, and we went dressed as WW2 pilots. We got a lot of “Love your costume! What character are you?” questions so we started making up a backstory as we went along: ghosts from the B-25 “Lady Be Good”, video game characters from “Call of Duty”, sidekicks to “Captain America”, and such. After that, I decided I should probably invest in a real sci-fi costume, and we both enjoyed “Game of Thrones” for its parallels to actual historical events, so we went down that rabbit hole. We met a lot of great people at the next con who were also GoT fans and we swapped information and Facebook tags and pretty soon we had a whole new social circle. Leo Nocedo : What was your first cosplay? Troy Whigham : Technically, you could say our WW2 pilot uniforms, but our true dedicated cosplay would be “Game of Thrones” as Ser Jorah. Leo Nocedo : What are your next 3 cosplay plans? Troy Whigham : I’m a member of the 501st and Rebel Legions here in Florida, so my next plan is to finally assemble my Resistance X-wing pilot costume. I already have the ANH Rebel pilot, TIE pilot, Jedi, and Scariff Rebel Soldier completed and approved. I just need to get the Resistance Pilot pieces measured and trimmed to fit, and get the flight suit tailored. Leo Nocedo : Have you ever been in a cosplay contest? Troy Whigham : Only a few times, and only with a group. I’m not anybody special. I’m not trying to promote myself as an individual; I prefer to support those who can do a much better job with their costumes than I can. I prefer to be the shoulders that someone else stands on to achieve their own measure of greatness. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer sewing, armor making, or wig working? Troy Whigham : My background actually comes from building scale models as a kid. I can sew (most reenactors are forced to learn eventually), but right now I only sew by hand (I have a 1950’s Singer machine, but I haven’t learned how to use it). So, I prefer to work with hard pieces, like armor or helmets or props. If I sew, it’s to modify something I’ve bought off-the-shelf or something that absolutely can’t be obtained somewhere else. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer to do photoshoots at cons or at specific locations? Troy Whigham : I’ve done both. Con photoshoots are great for convenience and for meeting other costumers, but I enjoy dedicated location shoots for the party that goes along with it. My Star Wars groups do an annual photo shoot where we all come together and do a pot luck picnic in Pinellas County while shooting pictures for trading cards. My GoT group does a similar thing at Bok Tower. For my Ghostbuster and SHIELD groups, we literally get into some cars, either an Ecto or my SHIELD Xterra with a support vehicle, and convoy to different spots. Cons tend to be a bit more rushed, because everyone has other things scheduled. Location shoots tend to be more dedicated and relaxed, and who doesn’t enjoy a good road trip? Leo Nocedo : Is there a type of character you cosplay frequently? Troy Whigham : Rarely will I do a “title character”, like Batman or Iron Man or a main character from a show. I prefer costumes where you can have multiples and the more you have, the better it looks. For example, you can have 1 Ghostbuster, and it’s a good Ghostbuster. You have multiple Ghostbusters, and it becomes a show. So, most of my costumes are characters that you can have multiples of. Leo Nocedo : Do you have any favorite cosplayers? Troy Whigham : I do. I’m going to blame the guy that threw me down the Marvel superhero rabbit hole. David Mansfield of Super Dave Cosplay has built a full-on hard-shell armor-plated Iron Man suit. The thing is amazing; missiles pop out, laser beams come out, it’s just fantastic. The problem is, he has to be buckled and screwed into it, and with the suit on, he has limited mobility and limited vision. Because I’d worked with Stormtroopers and Darth Vader cosplayers through my involvement with the 501st, I offered to be his handler to keep things under control while he was “on-stage”. I didn’t want to just walk out in a t-shirt and shorts; I wanted to look somewhat official and related to him, but I didn’t want to drop a lot of money on something that I might wear only once. So, I reached into my closet and pulled out a business suit, added some sunglasses and a $20 ID badge and boom, I was Tony Stark’s SHIELD security man for his first public appearance. As soon as we walked out onto the show floor, people went nuts. The crowd reaction was amazing. I’d seen how people react to Chewbacca and Vader, but the reaction to Iron Man was a whole different level of “wow-ness”. Kids stopped in their tracks. Parents were amazed by the engineering. We couldn’t move; it was picture after picture after picture. I don’t think Dave was really prepared for the response and the mob we generated, so it was good that he had me there to keep things chill. At the end of the day, as we were exhaling, we looked at each other and nodded “yeah, we gotta do this again.” Funny story about that Iron Man suit. We were at SyFy Bartow and Dave had entered into the costume contest as Iron Man. In the process of being assembled into the suit, he managed to snap a servo that allowed the mask to lift up and down. For him, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He was always having to fix something on the suit; loose wires, broken plastic, unglued Velcro, chipped paint. It was constantly under repair. So he was ready to just toss the whole thing in the garbage and get on with his life. Fortunately, he was talked out of it (not by me) and glued it together just long enough to walk across the stage for judging. He ended up winning 1st Place in it. So, now I give him a hard time about winning a contest while wearing a costume he pulled out of the trash can. Leo Nocedo : What’s the most detailed cosplay you’ve ever done? Troy Whigham : For my Star Wars costumes, everything has to be made to a standard, so I can’t really take credit for any of those. I’m constantly adding bits and pieces of bling to my Night’s Watch and my SHIELD costumes, so probably my most detailed would be one of those. Leo Nocedo : What are your top 3 craftsmanship tips? Troy Whigham : 1. Look for advice on YouTube. There’s a lot of great crafting videos on there, some better than others. 2. Look for advice from those that have been there, done that. 501st and Rebel Legion (and the Mando Mercs) are great for giving advice to those trying to build up to the approval standards, and a lot of that advice can carry over into other cosplays. The radio I wear for SHIELD is actually my TIE pilot intercom system, right down to the radio chatter. 3. Don’t be afraid to experiment. You learn more through failure than you do through success. Leo Nocedo : What is your favorite cosplay you’ve done? Troy Whigham : SHIELD. Absolutely SHIELD. I can do as little or as much as I want. Business suit and a badge = SHIELD agent. Jeans and a t-shirt and a $15 hat = SHIELD agent. Tactical boots, pants, vest, radio, patches, cuffs, weapons = SHIELD agent. I can customize to suit the environment; warm weather, cold weather, marching or just standing. For people that don’t have a lot of money, or need something that they can also use in everyday life, I recommend doing a SHIELD cosplay. You can be tactical, you can be science, you can be technology. SHIELD does all of it. And with the MCU chugging along, SHIELD will be chugging along, too. Leo Nocedo : What is your worst cosplay “horror” story? Troy Whigham : I’ve never had anything important break or rip or snap, so I’m luckier than most. Leo Nocedo : What’s your funniest cosplay story? Troy Whigham : Our GoT group had gotten quite large at a con once; almost 18 people. Because GoT is an ensemble show, there were a lot of different character options and we had managed to get an almost complete set of the key characters just by bumping into people as we wandered around. Everybody was still getting to know each other, but we just gelled right away as a group, and would frequently get stuck with picture after picture after picture. The space between the two escalators at the Tampa Convention Center became our deathtrap. We couldn’t get away! Just as we finished photos for one group of people, a fresh batch would come down and ask for some, too. We learned that if we peeled away in batches of 3 or 4, and then reconvened at a new spot, we could move about a con a lot better. So, that afternoon we were in the process of reconvening, walking single-file down the back hallway to register for the costume contest and the hall was packed with people. The men would hold up their swords as beacons for the others to follow behind. As we were coming up to a cut-out, a lady, phone in hand, started to take the picture of our character in front. Then she saw the next one, then the next one. “Hey, it’s … and there’s…. and it’s… and he has…!” She was so excited that she couldn’t form a complete sentence. By the time I got up to her, she was shaking – seriously shaking – as if we were rock stars. That’s when I realized the power that a good costume, and a good group, could have on someone. Its powerful stuff and something I respect. Leo Nocedo : What’s the best in-character interaction you’ve ever had? Troy Whigham : Our SHIELD group was in the DragonCon parade, which is massive. The people of Atlanta really turn out for it; just huge groups of people 5-deep standing on the curbs waiting and watching and having a great time. Kids to grandmas, they all turn out. I love marching on the sidelines interacting with the people, dancing and giving high-fives the entire way. There aren’t any barricades. You just walk right up to someone and give a high-five. Well, ahead of us was a mixed group of superhero costumes. Clair Bauer, as she’s known presently, was dressed as Wonder Woman (and an excellent one at that). A little girl bolted from the side and ran right up to her, because here was a real live Wonder Woman and the little girl couldn’t believe that she was real. In that instant Clair realized what was going on, and what her responsibility was. Clair smiled at the girl, gave her a quick hug, then gently guided her back to the curb so that she wouldn’t get run over. As cosplayers we have to remember that to some people, we are the character we represent. Clair did that, and I was fortunate enough to witness it. Leo Nocedo : Have you ever cosplayed with a family member? Troy Whigham : No, but my sister and niece were impressed that I got so much recognition as a member of the 501st when we went to Disney one weekend. Leo Nocedo : What is your favorite cosplay photo of yourself? Troy Whigham : I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t photograph well. That said, there are photographers that do manage to put lipstick on a pig and make it look pretty, so there are photographers that I’ll invite to shoots specifically because they do good work, and they’re good to work with. Leo Nocedo is one of them. Joe Tomasone, Bri Kupfer, Travis Kirk, Greg Rice, and Michael Trefry are others. Susan Schaller dabbles in both cosplay and photography. One of my favorite photos came about randomly. It’s just a simple shot of me as SHIELD walking along in my first DragonCon parade, taken by a stranger. Someone I know saw it, tagged me, and it came across my feed. I found the photographer that took it and thanked her for the picture; that it was one of my favorites from the weekend. It blew her mind that a random stranger would take the time to PM her directly to thank her for a photo she snapped almost on instinct; she totally didn’t expect it. If someone manages to take a good picture of me, I take the time to acknowledge their talent. They put lipstick on a pig and made it pretty. Leo Nocedo : What are your go-to stores for cosplay materials/full cosplays? Troy Whigham : Every cosplayer eventually finds something at thrift stores. You don’t need to drop $400 on a business suit if you can find one that fits well for $25 second-hand. But, with a suit you have to know what to look for, like sticking with natural fibers – wool, cotton, silk – and how to accessorize it. Polyester fabric doesn’t hold shape. A black suit can be used for so many costumes: Blues Brothers, John Wick, SHIELD agent, Men in Black. There’s a lot of stuff that can be purchased cheap and re-purposed for props. I’ve seen VCRs be converted into remote-controlled machine gun turrets. Eventually you develop an artist’s eye for things. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer to buy pre-styled wigs or style your own? Troy Whigham : SHIELD doesn’t have time for wigs. That’s why we wear hats. Leo Nocedo : Have you ever had someone mistake you for a different character? Troy Whigham : All the time. When I do my GoT Night’s Watch, everybody assumes that everyone with a black cape is John Snow. In the 501st, TIE pilots are called Darth Vader on a regular basis. We take it in stride. At least they try. I never correct the person; I just go with it. Leo Nocedo : List all the cosplays you’ve done. Troy Whigham : WW2 pilot, X-wing pilot, Ser Jorah, Night’s Watch, TIE pilot, Scariff Rebel Soldier, SHIELD agent, 17th century Royal Navy sailor, Thomas Wayne (Bruce Wayne’s dad), Muldoon from “Jurassic Park”, random ACU guy from “Jurassic World”, and WW2 infantryman (I talked some of my reenactor friends into coming to a con in a costume, so we dressed as WW2 infantry and got pictures with all of the WW2 themed superheroes – Wonder Woman, Captain America, Batman, Catwoman, Superman; we even got a picture with Colonel Sanders and a Desert Shield Eagle!). Leo Nocedo : What’s the biggest con you’ve cosplayed at? Troy Whigham : DragonCon. Hand’s down. We do a panel for kids called the Junior Agents of SHIELD where kids have to solve a puzzle to earn their SHIELD badge and ID card, then they go through a path to get autographs and pictures with Avengers characters. At the end, they get their picture with Director Fury and Tony Stark. The first year we did it, we had to turn families away. We’ve been invited back every year ever since. I’m going to reiterate how cosplayers are the best people in the world. The first year we went to DragonCon, Dave and I went to Atlanta sweating about whether we’d find enough characters for our panel. We met a few at the parade, and a few just walking the hotels. We’d explain what we were doing and that we needed help, and people jumped in. On the morning of the panel, a few backed out with family and business obligations, but we sent Directory Fury, whom we’d known for all of a day, up to the main level and he came back with some excellent people to fill spots for the panel. Every year we’ve managed to find some really great people, and even though we only see them once a year, it’s like we just saw them yesterday. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer cosplaying characters with props, or characters that you don’t need to carry a prop around all day? Troy Whigham : A good prop can go a long way. It draws attention. At some cons, you’ll see a lot of the same character, but if you’re that character with a good prop, you’ll get noticed a lot more. That said, props can get heavy. They can be bulky. You have to go through weapons check, which is another delay to getting on the show floor. It’s all about your priorities. Leo Nocedo : Have you ever lost a cosplay piece at a con? Troy Whigham : Once is all it takes. Fortunately I was able to get it back. Volunteer staff don’t get the credit they deserve, so I’m giving it now. Thank you volunteers! Unpaid, unrecognized, but very much appreciated! Leo Nocedo : Have you ever bought a cosplay piece at a con? Troy Whigham : Yes. Badges, pins, IDs, patches are usually easy to find. One time I found a resin-cast Maltese Falcon for a Humphrey Bogart cosplay I want to do. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer to cosplay solo or in a group? Troy Whigham : Groups. I’m in it for the social interaction and the opportunity to meet different people. Cons are good places for that, because you can walk right up to someone dressed in the same theme as you and make an instant connection. I’ve met a lot of great people that way. If you want to go to a con but you can’t find anyone to come with you, just come in costume and you’ll have friends within an hour. Leo Nocedo : If you had a chance to meet your all-time favorite cosplayer, what would you say to them? Troy Whigham : I’d tell him that his cosplay is weak, if only he was taller, and to get off my coattails. He knows who he is, and right now our mutual friends are laughing. Leo Nocedo : Have you ever done a cosplay panel? Troy Whigham : Yes. I would encourage everyone who gets into this hobby to do it at least once. I know public speaking is a scary thing, but it’s also a good way to exchange information, and in a convention setting there’s a lot more freedom without judgement. Inside the four walls of a convention, dreams can come true. It’s a good place to get experience because at some point in your business life, you’re going to have to give a presentation to people that aren’t as open and forgiving as attendees at a sci-fi con. The great thing is, at a con, you don’t even have to be yourself. You may lack self-confidence, but does Tony Stark? Bruce Wayne? Natasha Romanoff? If making yourself a starship captain gives you the strength you need to give a one-hour presentation, then go for it. Inside those four walls, dreams can come true. Leo Nocedo : Do you prefer to buy or make cosplays? Troy Whigham : Coming from a reenactor background, where the uniforms and equipment are all bought from cottage industry shops, I have no qualms about buying a piece from a store and customizing it. Amazon has become my go-to for medieval and tactical gear, simply because of the selection available. Etsy is a good place for specific designs, and eBay (love it or hate it) is also an option if you don’t mind correcting things. What usually happens is I’ll get one piece here, another piece there, make a piece myself, and then hit the thrift store for something to use as a prop. Leo Nocedo : If you could tell your past self anything about cosplay, what would you say? Troy Whigham : I should’ve been doing this sooner. The balance of male to female is about 50-50; much more preferable for dating than reenacting where it’s almost 80% men to 20% women. It’s also open to creativity, and is a great way to meet good people. Leo Nocedo : What is your ultimate dream cosplay? Troy Whigham : Oof. Tough question. I’ve already hit my dream cosplays. I think I’d make a good Skipper from Gilligan’s Island if I can find a group of people to do the other characters. I already have the stuff to dress. I’d also like to do a Sheriff Buford T. Justice cosplay someday, and finally catch that sumbitch Bandit. Leo Nocedo : What’s the most difficult cosplay you’ve ever done? (Craftsmanship, wearing of, ect) Troy Whigham : X-wing pilot. I built the helmet myself, which was initially more challenging than I imagined, then I had to modify the extraction straps to fit my short, fat body. It was my first serious costume and it took me a couple of years to finish it. Leo Nocedo : What’s the most difficult character makeup you’ve done? Troy Whigham : Never tried. Leo Nocedo : What, in your opinion, makes a cosplayer a “pro” cosplayer? Troy Whigham : People that can make money at it. I think being a pro cosplayer is a modern invention; people weren’t doing this at this volume twenty years ago and getting paid for it. Look at “GalaxyQuest” for a representation of what the scene was like. That said, I know cosplayers that aren’t pro, that could make money at it, but prefer to do it for fun because they find it rewarding in and of itself. Leo Nocedo : What is your favorite part of cosplaying? Troy Whigham : The reaction from people when I do it right. I don’t mean that I expect accolades, but when kids faces light up, or someone laughs because they’re having fun, or people just simply give a compliment, that’s the best feeling in the world. No matter what other problems are going on in my life outside the four walls of the con, getting that validation inside of it makes all the effort worthwhile. Leo Nocedo : Make up your own question! Troy Whigham : If you’re going to do something, do it to the best of your ability. When I walked into my first con in costume, I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a good quality costume. Quality attracts quality, and if you’re bringing your “A” game, you’ll get noticed by other “A” level cosplayers; they will come up to you and start chatting and pretty soon you’re in a good circle of people and having a great time. Case in point: A lot of Deadpool costumers thought Deadpool was all about being a clown and a jerk. No, no he’s not. The best Deadpool cosplayers know when to strike a funny pose for a picture, and when to be cool with other characters. Deadpool lampoons stereotypes. You have to know who the Deadpool character is; what his perspective on reality is. Otherwise, you’re just a guy in a spandex onesie ruining the con experience for everybody else. Don’t be that guy. Be that guy who brings the right props, plays with others well, and is open to suggestions on improvements and fresh ideas for the character. You’d be surprised at how many friends you can make that way. If you’re going to your first con and don’t want to drop a lot of money, you can go as a zombie hunter. Some jeans, a t-shirt, and a re-painted Nerf gun from a thrift store. Total cost: the $4 you spent on the gun and the $4 you spent repainting it with spraycan truck bed liner. Bloody it up if you want. Or don’t. You’re your own muse. You’re bound to meet Umbrella Corp, or The Walking Dead, or other random zombie lovers. Have fun with it. That’s what it’s all about.

#gallery-0-4 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-4 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Cosplayer of the week : Troy Whigham Before we get into the questions, I’d like to say that cosplaying draws some of the best people in the world.

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tripstations · 5 years ago

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Following Greta: joining the Swedes on their no-fly holidays | Travel

At Hamburg central station it felt like the whole of Sweden was taking the train to somewhere else in Europe. You could hear snatches of Swedish everywhere. When we queued up to buy water, both couples ahead of us were Swedes. An entire handball team from Gothenburg was going by rail to a tournament in Austria.

“Sweden is trend-oriented: if there’s a new trend, everyone will follow it,” said Anna Maria Hilborn, an art teacher I met when my five-year-old son started spinning around a signpost on the platform with hers.

Sweden’s flygskam, or flight shame, movement first came to notice in the summer of 2017 when the singer-songwriter Staffan Lindberg wrote an article co-signed by five of his famous friends, in which they announced their decision to give up flying. Among them were the popular ski commentator Björn Ferry, opera-singer Malena Ernman (the mother of climate activist Greta Thunberg), and Heidi Andersson, the eleven-times world champion arm-wrestler.

Concourse, Hamburg Hauptbahnhof. Photograph: imageBROKER/Alamy Stock Photo

However, it was last summer that flygskam really gained momentum. Passenger numbers at Sweden’s 10 busiest airports fell 8% from January to April this year, following a 3% fall in 2018, according to Swedavia, which operates them. The number of journeys on Sweden’s national rail network increased by 5% last year and 8% in the first quarter of this year, according to Swedish Railways. Meanwhile, sales of Interrail tickets to Swedes increased by 45% in 2018 – and are expected to rise again this year.

“The big thing, of course, was the very warm summer last year,” Hilborn told me once we were on the train to the Rhineland city of Duisberg, the German countryside rattling by outside. “I think it affected people because it usually isn’t that hot in Sweden. It had an impact on farmers: they had to slaughter some of their animals early. And people felt it, too, of course.”

Seeing the effects of climate change in the here and now made Hilborn decide that next time she took her annual trip to visit her brother in Innsbruck, Austria, she would go by train.

“My personal impact won’t change a lot,” she said. “But when a percentage of people start doing something it creates a new norm. So, just by being a part of that movement and sharing it, I’m doing something.”

After nearly eight years living in Malmö, I’m perhaps Swedish enough to start following national trends such as flygskam, which made the official list of new Swedish words for 2018. I signed up to the country’s Flygfritt 2019 (Flight Free 2019) campaign in February – even though, strictly speaking, I had already failed, as I’d flown to the UK at the start of January.

Swedish climate change activist Greta Thunberg speaks at Extinction Rebellion’s environmental protest camp, London, April 2019. Photograph: Tolga Akmen/AFP/Getty Images

Using the calculator on the International Railways Union’s EcoPassenger site, I realised that by taking the train, rather than flying, on my four annual visits back to the UK would cut my annual CO2 emissions by about 1.8 tonnes, if you adjust for the impact of emitting at height. That is close to half the total annual carbon emissions, excluding flights, of the average person living in Sweden. To me it seemed crazy to pass up that kind of reduction to save a few days and a few hundred pounds.

“Your poor children,” my stepmother said after I announced my plan to travel overland from Malmö to my parents’ home in Surrey. My wife, while supportive, had nightmare visions of me and the children stranded on a cold station platform for the night. Though the truth is that seven-year-old Eira and five-year-old Finn loved it. In each direction, they got more than 24 hours of nearly non-stop parental attention, unlimited screen time, and Lego sets and craft equipment bought by their Swedish mum.

There was the excitement of passing through five countries – Denmark, Germany, Belgium and France on the way out, plus the Netherlands on the way back – and the thrill of racing through the French countryside at 186 mph on Eurostar. At the good-value A&O hostel we stayed at in Hamburg, Eira was inexplicably reduced to hysterical laughter by the large selection of goodies you could sprinkle on top of your yoghurt at the breakfast buffet.

On the train to Duisberg, at 3½ hours the longest single leg of the journey, I also met Elin Persson and her husband Morgon, on their way to Málaga with their four children. Like Hilborn, Morgon is an artist: a glass-blower who transforms used wine and beer bottles into vases. Elin Persson conceded that many of the Swedes she had seen travelling fitted a particular demographic. And it is true that the success of the flygskam movement has generated a backlash, with politicians and columnists in Sweden attacking it as a form of one-upmanship: one where middle-class Swedes sneer at their working-class compatriots for taking charter flights to Thailand or the Canary Islands.

Duisburg harbour, Germany. Photograph: Getty Images

“Mostly, it is now middle-class, but hopefully it will spread,” said Susanna Elfors, co-founder of the Tågsemester (Train Holiday) Facebook group which over the last year has gained 90,000 members.

I’d been thrown together with the Perssons by a 20-minute signalling delay that meant we all risked the same domino-chain of missed connections.

“You are the group leader,” the conductor informed me with mock formality as he shared my route, which had slightly better connections, with other Brussels-bound passengers. In the end, we had just four minutes to rush down the underpass and up to the right platform in Duisberg – with Finn on my shoulders, my wheeled suitcase trundling behind and Eira gamely struggling to keep up.

We made it, but the experience underlines the risk of international train journeys in a system not yet designed for them. Instead of buying a ticket all the way to your final destination – as was the case before budget flights replaced international rail travel – a sequence of shorter journeys is now purchased. With the ticket I bought online from Loco2, we had reserved seats on specific Eurostar and German Intercity-Express (ICE) trains. If we missed a connection, we would have no right to take a later one.

In the days before I left Malmö, I’d regretted not making more of a holiday of it. Aside from an hour and a bit in Brussels, our only stop longer than 20 minutes was the hour and a half we had in Ösnabrück on the return leg. We did manage to entertain ourselves, however.

Although no one said anything, German travellers seemed less indulgent of small children than those back home in Sweden. But the comfortable table seats we had booked on the German ICE trains were perfect for drawing, playing Lego and making wool pom-poms. The short trips we had on standing-only overcrowded local trains in Germany and the Netherlands were more difficult.

Hook of Holland terminal, the Netherlands. Photograph: Alamy

We stayed away from the decent-looking ICE restaurant cars selling German food, such as currywurst and beef gulasch, but indulged ourselves whenever the trolley selling drinks and pretzel breads passed by (although coming from cash-free Sweden, I was astonished they didn’t take cards).

In Brussels, we visited an overpriced restaurant outside the station to try the national dish – some of the worst mussels I have ever eaten. I made up for the disappointment on the return leg, by gorging on deep-fried mussels from Hoekse Vishandel outside the Hook of Holland ferry terminal.

“Are there places like this all over the Netherlands?” I asked the owner. “There are,” he said. “But we’re the best.”

In Ösnabrück, a city in north-west Germany, we missed the medieval centre and renowned zoo but met an engineering student in Burger King who kept the children spellbound as he explained the workings of his self-built electric skateboard.

Osnabrück, Germany Photograph: Getty Images

On the 45-minute ferry from Germany to the Danish island of Lolland, the children threw themselves around in the wind so wildly on deck that they fell asleep as soon as we got onto the rail replacement bus to Copenhagen. Indeed, Finn was so exhausted that when, an hour later, he threw up half-digested spaghetti bolognese over his sister, he didn’t even wake up. By that time all we had left was a hop over the Öresund Straits, and a short cycle home to our apartment where, at well past midnight, the children were greeted by their relieved mother.

The trip took two more days than it would have if we’d flown, but they weren’t days wasted. They might even be the best I’ve spent with Eira and Finn all year.

Journey times from Malmo to London By train: from 18hrs 52minutes with four changes (source Loco2) – but factor in more time if you want a less tiring journey. For example Richard and family spent a night in Hamburg. By air: from 4hrs 25 minutes, with one stop (SAS).

Carbon emissions from Malmo to London By train: 53.9kg. By air: 269.8kg (source: ecopassenger.org)

• Tickets booked online at Loco2. Outbound journey: depart Malmö 3pm, travelling via Copenhagen to Hamburg (accommodation at the A&O Hostel); then to London St Pancras via Duisberg, Aachen (Eurostar from Brussels). Return journey: Stena Line night ferry from Harwich to Hook of Holland, and then to Malmö via Schiedam, The Hague, Hengelo, Osnabrück, Hamburg and Copenhagen. Trip cost: £710, for one adult and two children.

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amplesalty · 6 years ago

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Day 5 - Saving Christmas (2017)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.

FIVE SIDED RING!!!! No, wait...four. GOD DAMNIT!

No, sadly not a remake of the modern day Kirk Cameron classic. Why does Christmas need saving all the damn time? It needs to become empowered so it can save itself once in a while.

Anyway, with this and the Halloween movies, I tend to keep a wordpad document where I will note down any interesting sounding movies I come across so I might watch them in future years. Apparently I must have added this last year but I have no earthly idea where I picked it up from, probably that message board. It's always a bit weird going back through that list a year or two down the line with no context so I have no idea what these things are or how I found them in the first place. Like, spoiler for some future year, I have 3615 code Père Noël on the list but just looking on that makes me think I've copied some weird HTML code somehow.

The only note I've made on that entire list, outside of just film names, is on this noting 'Mike and Maria Bennett'. So clearly again I'm having to make my own way in the world of Christmas/wrestling mashups since WWE still isn't bothering. Still, Becky Lynch was just in that new Marine sequel so that might be neat. And Luke Harper was in one of their movies at the start of the year. I still can't believe Ted DiBiase Jr of all people was in The Marine 2. That guy always seemed so utterly devoid of charisma.

The Bennetts are just the tip of the iceberg though, as this credits roll shows. Tommy Dreamer, Matt Striker AND Gangrel?! Hell yes. Though, who casts Gangrel in a kids movie, honestly? I'm sure he has a...questionable filmography, shall we say. He directed porn, right? I'm assuming directed, I can't imagine someone casting him as a performer...

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As an aside, can we all take a moment to appreciate the wonderful wonderful power ballad that is Mike and Maria Kanellis' WWE theme?

Also, as part of the credits, we learn that we're in Norepole, Maine. This both makes me confused for half the movie when I'm unsure if people are saying North Pole or Norepole, and also worried about what supernatural events are going to go down. It's a possessed wrestling title and it's murdering everyone!

Let's try and get through the dull part of the movie which is pretty much the entire first hour. We have a bunch of kids that seem to be directly ripping off Ghosbusters, trying to track down a trap a ghost, whilst also dabbling in a little testing of psychic abilities. Though, I think this kid has a genuine interest in the subject. Venkman was probably just doing it for grant money, chicks or both.

Only, Douchebag McGee turns up with his hanger on to hassle our gang here. For as bad as this movie is, they at least foreshadow this one kids later betrayal by having him shut his camera off and not even take the footage to any of the teachers to rat on the bully. That or he's just following the code of the schoolyard.

Ooooh, he threw the kids science report in the bin. Real badass over here. Well, he does take it a bit too far by insulting the kids dead father. Again, just the tip of the iceberg though, we'll come back to this.

Meanwhile, we have a budget Rob Lowe over here who rocks up to a lady's salon for a hair cut. He has a cute little dog with him though so one suspects he's here for the women. It's certainly not for a haircut, $25 he pays and his hair looks literally the same for the rest of the movie.

He works for the big toy factory in town under 'Rick', played by Edward Asner. Man, that guy is old and he's still racking up credits left, right and centre. Surprise, he's actually Santa. But he feels too old and crotchety to be Santa. Where's the heart? Where's the love?!

As part of their supernatural fixation, the kids focus on a new task: to prove Santa is real. Well, it's partially for SCIENCE and partially because his little sister has become so jaded towards Christmas. After her Dad died, how could a terrible world such as this deserve something as lovely as Christmas? This must be the world's most miserable 8 year old.

Unfortunately, little Danny's belief that Santa is caught on film by soon to be former friend Jake, who gives it to the bully who plasters it all over...'Friendsbook'. I love when movies and TV shows have to come up with fake versions of social media. Friendsbook seems too sappy to ever get over. Defintely a step down from the less subtle 'Mybook' or 'Facespace'. Danny's friend pretty clearly says Facebook as well so I dunno if they had some rights issue or something that they had to sub in the visual stuff last minute? Billion dollar company and that's what your app looks like? State of it...

Back at the salon, Sammy's attempts to bang Danny's mom have now racked him up $50 in hair cut fees and he's still not had anything in the way of restyling. 24 hour bed head, that guy.

As part of the kids efforts to track down Santa, I can't believe this is a spoken like in this movie, Danny says he 'hacked the Norepole Mall database and got a list of mall Santa's from the past decade.' He also later claims that he has free reign over the toy company's security cameras but can only shutdown their security network for 9 minutes. Clearly having access to a laptop is all that it takes to be a 1337 haxor in Hollywood. One of those is now the promoter of the wrestling show in town, the XWA. If you guessed that the X stands for XTREME, ding ding ding! A winner is you!

The kids however are a little distracted by marking out over Matt Taven. Come on, he's not even good enough to get in the opening credits! Or a close up. The promoter basically tells them that he enjoyed putting smiles on everyone's faces as Santa so that's what lead him to the wrestling biz. I feel there's definitely a parallel to be drawn between Christmas and wrestling. They're both still real to me, damnit!

Sammy explains everything to Danny's mom, that being that he is actually working the real actual Santa Claus who needs a makeover. If only for the sake of plot convenience, she readily accepts this rather than running in the opposite direction. Apparently back in the day, his company and 'a very popular soda company' (he did the air quotes and everything) put Santa on the map but it's the 21st century now. As Sammy puts it, enough is enough and it's time for a change! Firstly, I knew it! You lied to me, Snopes dot com. Coca Cola did invent Santa! Secondly, it's alright Sammy, we know Santa is not a nugget. This is all well and good but I sense a problem with dressing Santa in jorts considering the time of year he has to work. Guy looks like a more urban Hugh Hefner.

If we give Santa a hip new makeover and have him turn up at the XWA Gingerbread Brawl, it could result in the most lkes, shares and retweets of all time! That's a pretty good name, it's no Seasons Beatings or Fabulous February Fight Fest but still, pretty good. And, as for the most retweets? I'm pretty sure you have to be begging for a lifetime supply of nugs to get that title.

We've now come to the best part of the movie, hands down. Danny and his sister are walking home from school. As an end of term assignment, she had to create something based around the one thing she could have for Christmas. So, she makes a memory box full of photos and mementos of her departed Father. That's odd, why did they take the time to have an establishing shot of a wood chipper? I sure this isn't ominous in the slightest.

The bully soon comes into frame. His latest plan is to steal all the evidence that Danny and co have been compiling on the whereabouts of Santa so that he can claim all the credit himself. He figures that box must have everything in it so promptly takes it. But rather than just run off with it, he takes the odd decision to kick it into the air....oh no.

Oh God! The whole thing unfolds in slow motion, a sorrowful song drowns out everything but the dull roar of wood chipper on cardboard action, as Danny's sister breaks down in tears and the bully is in tears of laughter. This is played like the death of Bambi's mother and Mufasa all rolled into one and my God is it beautiful. Danny on the other hand, he doesn't take kindly to this and promptly lays the Smacketh-down on the bully like he's Ralphie Parker on ol' Yellow Eyes.

Right, now that's out of the way, it's time for your main event! Maria Kanellis makes he showstopping, 15 second appearance to recite The Night Before Christmas to a packed locker room of all of 4 people.

Why is Tommy Dreamer on play-by-play?!

And why do your tickets say WXE despite the fact you're clearly the XWA?

I like how in a podunk town of 3,000 people, Matt Striker still has to play as the backstage interviewer. And rather than the Vampire Warrior that we are accustomed to, Gangrel now appears to be a viking called Tucker Von Magnus. Fantastic. You know how Matt Striker would always come up with those stupid names for people? Like Yoshi Tatsu was the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim? Let's brain storm one for Vampire Viking over here, let's make this a thing.

By the way, isn't it weird that WWE had to license out the name Gangrel from Vampire: The Masquerade? A very odd collision of worlds there.

You know that whole 'Card subject to change' thing? Yeaaaaaaaaah, about that. Turns out Max Miracle (Mike Bennett) had a little motorbike accident and now can't wrestle anymore. But don't worry, he'll defend his title at January Jam! Pre-order your tickets now! Didn't you learn anything from Bret Hart?!

Holy shit, nuclear heat for this. Tommy tries to to calm the crowd down but they are having none of it. As far as I'm concerned, all of this crap in the ring represents these fans out here!

"Uh-oh, and a flying soda to the eye now rendering Tommy Dreamer partially blind." "Wow, this....this truly is a black day for the XWA."

Well, either that or, knowing Tommy Dreamer, he’s probably just crying over something.

Nevermind that, Max Miracle's replacement is non other than Santa freakin' Claus! The bully isn't buying it though and promptly jumps the rail, grabs a mic and cuts a promo on the guy. I say jumps the rail, more like takes a step to the side around the rail. How do we know this is the real Santa?

Well, for one thing, the real Santa can fly. Tommy Dreamer can't believe his one good eye.

Also, the real Santa can magically teleport Max Miracle from his home to the middle of the ring, bad foot and all. Crowd goes banana for this, including one dad who even draws a skeptical look from his daughter. She's like 'Jeez, Dad. Calm down, it's only Michael Bennett.' They act like he's a mega babyface but the guy signed his own cast earlier! What a narcissist.

All it takes is for Santa to lay his healing hands on that cast though and all is well and Max can take on the challenge of the Viking and his evil manager. This is the part I'm calling bullshit on. I didn't sit through nearly an hour and a half of this garbage to sit through a Mike Bennett vs Gangrel match, I wanted Santa vs Gangrel!

Max goes over with, of all things, a suplex and then scoop slamming the manager on top of Gangrel for the pin. Not even a Brainbuster, just a bog standard suplex. What is this, the 80's? Minus 5 stars! Still, probably the only televised victory he’s had within the past year.

#Christmas 2018 #Saving Christmas

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easytravelpw-blog · 6 years ago

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Full text write on https://easy-travel.pw/festival-review-sziget-budapest/hotels/

Festival Review: Sziget, Budapest

I was excited to return to Óbuda Island in Budapest for the third year running to attend the Sziget (9-16 August 2017) for seven days of sunshine and spectacle.

As well as more than 10 music stages, Sziget promised a varied programme including theatre, dance, traditional Hungarian craft workshops and even an interactive games area focusing on helping people with disabilities.

Who goes to Sziget Festival?

Diversity is the heart and soul of Sziget Festival, with over 100 countries represented on the island. As well as Hungarians, who tend to purchase day tickets, the festival attracts hoards of ‘Szitizens’ from the Netherlands, France, Italy, Germany, the UK, and beyond. There were more than 1,000 Australians at Sziget this year: quite a journey to make for a festival!

Sziget Szitizens enjoying the festival (c) Andrew Moss

Accommodation

I opted to avoid camping at the festival and instead rented an apartment with a group of friends. This allowed me the opportunity to return home each night for a shower and a decent night’s sleep, and also meant I could catch the Sziget boat to the island each morning: a truly lovely way to start the festival each day.

The simplest way to rent an apartment in Budapest is through Airbnb, and if you book enough in advance you should be able to rent a lovely, air-conditioned apartment for peanuts. Our base was only a 10-minute walk from Sziget boat and housed 14 people, at the cost of £15 a night – bargain!

You can also book an inexpensive hostel in the ‘Pest’ side of the city. If you go down this route, make sure you check there is air conditioning in the bedrooms.

You can, of course, camp at the festival and there are plenty of shady spots to pitch your tent. There is also a VIP camping option, but if you’re willing to spend the extra cash I recommend you book an apartment or hostel in the city instead.

Food and Drink

During my previous trips to Sziget, the food was disappointing. There wasn’t that much variety and what was there was greasy and salty. This year there was a definite improvement, especially in the area near to the Hungarikum Village. I sampled some delicious Goulash Soup as well as a Russian dish called pelmeni: mixed pasta stuffed with beef and pork with sour cream and vinegar. The food options around the main stage were fairly uninspiring so I recommend branching out from the centre of the festival when you get peckish.

You can’t take in your own alcohol to Sziget. A beer or plastic cup of wine costs less than £3 while one of the festival’s signature cocktails is around £5.50. As with previous years, Sziget’s alcohol policy allows for a very jolly atmosphere without creating too many alcohol-related casualties.

Sziget Beer Drinkers (c) Andrew Moss

At Sziget you don’t use cash to buy food and drink. Instead, you pre-load money onto a Festipay card and this can be used to pay for everything at the festival. There are several booths dotted around Sziget where you can top-up, and you can protect your money by downloading the Sziget App and registering your card. If you lose it, you can cancel the card and reimburse the money on a new card. Very nifty.

What’s the music like at the Sziget Festival?

We arrived at the main stage on the first day mid-way through a fun and energetic performance by Bosnian group, Dubioza Kolektiv. Taking inspiration from reggae, ska, alternative rock and Bosnian folklore, the band whipped the crowd into a joyful frenzy. This is what makes Sziget so special: the opportunity to discover bands from across the globe who would otherwise never enter one’s consciousness.

The music line-up was, admittedly, a mixed bag. The seven headliners absorbed over half of the festival’s €20m budget, yet they weren’t the big hitters of rock and pop that I’d become accustomed to.

Sziget Revellers at the main stage (c) Andrew Moss

I really enjoyed P!nk’s fun and fiery performance on the first night, but confess I was less thrilled by the prospect of Kasabian, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and Major Lazer. Tamás Kádár, CEO of Sziget Cultural Management, admitted to us that the line-up was weaker than usual, in part because some of the acts are asking for 50-60 per cent more money than the previous year.

This has become a serious issue for festival organisers around the globe. Fortunately there were some excellent performances by lesser known artists on the main stage including a feisty set by The Kills and a beautifully sweet performance by English rose, Birdy. The closing act on the main stage, Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike, was also a surprising sensation.

British-American indie rock band The Kills (c) Andrew Moss

There was also plenty to see away from the main stage. My personal highlights included DJ Shadow and Crystal Fighters at the indoor OTP Bank Stage by A38. USA born DJ Shadow put on an exceptional show with the best backing video I have ever seen. Striking images of wildlife, landscapes and abstract shapes burst on the screen in perfect timing to the music. The bass was so intense it made my shoes vibrate and my nose tingle. Crystal Fighters put on a jubilant performance inspired by the Basque heritage of one of its members, Laura Stockley. This band really should have had a prime spot on the main stage and I think Sziget missed a trick here.

The World Music Stage hosted a brilliant set by Orkestra Mendoza, who made it totally impossible not to get up and dance. This performance was particularly memorable as the final song coincided with Sziget’s 25th birthday party. Sziget staff members ran around the festival presenting a random selection of Szitizens with birthday cakes and party hats. My friend, Hannah, was one of the lucky recipients and her pure joy at being presented with a cake was one of my happiest memories of the festival.

What else is going on?

My advice for Sziget is to make sure you don’t just stick to the main stage and really make time to explore every area of the festival. There is much to discover, from Sziget beach to the Luminarium: an 800m2 inflatable sculpture with a labyrinth of rooms to explore. There is also the travelling funfair, cardboardia tent, Sziget comedy tent and Magic Mirror which hosts a colourful array of cabaret, drag shows and talks by the LGBT community.

Walkabout performers The Herd of Mechanical Creatures (c) Andrew Moss

One of the most widely talked-about acts this year was Anima Ardens by Belgium Compagnie Thor, which features 11 male dancers who are totally in the nude. I joined the huge queue outside the Fidelio Theatre and Dance Tent and managed to get a seat at the back. While I applaud their grace and boldness, I am afraid this performance was too arty for me. The interpretive dance aspects went completely over my head!

There were some stellar circus performances this year at Cirque du Sziget. The organisers doubled the capacity of the indoor tent this year, which was a savvy move. The outstanding performance for me was Machine de Cirque, where five Canadian blokes performed a mix of comedic sketches and extraordinary feats of acrobatics using a large, wooden seesaw.

Machine de Cirque from Canada (c) Andrew Moss

Another highlight of the festival was the colour party, where festivalgoers throw bags of multi-coloured paint at each other. This year, it was postponed to the final day due to high winds on Saturday. My friends and I made our way into the centre of the action and managed to get hold of few bags of bright pink powder. Then followed an explosion of luminescent dust and we all threw our arms up in pure joy and asphyxiation (thanks to the clouds of powder).

Verdict

Sziget 2017 was for the most part, pretty fantastic. The festival had a carefree and jovial atmosphere and I was in an almost permanent state of euphoria. Yes, the main stage line-up was a little disappointing, but this didn’t really matter when there were so many other things to see and do.

Colour Party Revellers (c) Andrew Moss

TIP: If you are planning to visit Sziget in 2018 allow some time to explore Budapest. It’s a vibrant and beautiful city with a fascinating history. You can purchase a 13-day Sziget Citypass during the festival, which allows you to use almost all forms of public transport around the city, including the boat to the festival.

⇒ Top 10 things to see and do in Budapest

Fact File

How much: Festival tickets are reasonably priced, from around £230 for 7 days. Book early to avoid price increases.

Getting there: if you arrive by car, check the parking options listed on the Sziget website. Parking spots are limited and once you leave your car, you can only return one time unless you are willing to pay for another ticket.

There is a taxi station on the island and you can also catch a taxi to the festival entrance from the city. Sziget’s official taxi partner is Citi Taxi, and they can be reached on +36 12 111 111.

The easiest and cheapest ways to reach the island are by train and by boat. The Sziget boat runs every day between between Jászai Mari square and Sziget Festival Port. Alternatively catch the HÉV suburban rail no. H5 to the Filatorigát stop, leaving from Batthyány square or Margit Bridge every 10-15 minutes.

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latoyarubalcava3546 · 7 years ago

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The Number One Thing You Need to Do This Summer to Feel Alive

I remember riding the Ferris wheel on the Jersey Shore boardwalk, where my love affairs with carnivals started.

The best part of the ride for me is when it stops at the very top and I can look out, like a soaring eagle, over all the colors of the carnival below. From the vantage point of the top of the Ferris wheel, a carnival looks as if an airplane released parachutes of endless confetti down below. It's like God shook a container of rainbow sprinkles onto the earth in the spot where magic is about to happen. Experiencing that much color at once makes fills me with a giddiness that overflows into a happy summer.

Sometimes it seems like time stops at the top of the Ferris wheel. In the distance I can see moonlight over the unending ocean, and it's this quiet moment where I feel a rare sense of peace and weightless limitlessness. This feeling is why, as an adult, whenever I stumble across a local carnival or fair, I feel like I used to feel at the top of the Ferris Wheel as a kid: pangs of possibility that life is actually lighter than it often seems. Life outside of a carnival is a looming deadline, your landlord doing construction upstairs, going to the bank to check a declining balance. Life inside a carnival is life in a Candy Land board game or at a Party City balloon counter. Life at a carnival is the inside of a Crayola crayon box.

One day I was waiting at the bank and noticed a flyer featuring a Ferris wheel. I picked it up. It said Astoria Park Carnival: Free admission. I picked up more flyers from the stack. What was I planning to do? Distribute them to my fellow disgruntled neighbors waiting for a free ATM? I stuffed the flyers into my bag. The carnival comes to Astoria every year and in the six years I've lived here, I haven't attended a single one. Maybe I see an advertisement and forget; maybe no one is around to go with me, or maybe I just don't make the effort.

For weeks, my friend Hayley, a fellow writer, and I have been trying to get together. We considered attending a lecture on reproductive health, a reading on Middle East history, and a political-themed poetry slam. We had to cancel or rule out all of the above for adult reasons-conflicting schedules, forgotten obligations, and competing priorities. Luckily, it turns out Hayley loves carnivals too! Roller coaster emojis were exchanged and it was settled: Hayley, who follows a vegetarian diet, and I, who follow a gluten-free diet, would spend a Sunday afternoon at the Astoria Park carnival where we expected to go meatless and wheatless. Carnival food, like the ones listed on this list, aren't exactly known to be heart healthy. I told Hayley that my sister recently visited a local fair and came across a funnoli, which, (you guessed it) is a cross between funnel cake and a cannoli.

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It was 90 degrees on our carnival day, so I had a flicker of nervousness: What if we get there and it's sweaty kiddie rides and lame games? Upon arrival, I started to feel like this whole carnival idea was a mistake. The prize options looked garish: neon orangutans and giant stuffed bananas with Rastafarian dreadlocks. Then I spotted some real incentives: a tie-dyed teddy bear, a polka-dotted unicorn and a sprinkled donut pool float. Hayley had her eye on a goldfish. But we had to circle the carnival premises and remain clear-headed about where to direct our efforts. When it was time to financially commit to the afternoon, we agreed to choose one ride each in order to return to our games of choice without going broke. Here's how to save more money at amusement parks. At the ticket booth, we channeled the resourcefulness of our inner mom-with-a-fanny-pack-full-of-coupon books. At five tickets per ride, we got 20 tickets for $25, $12.50 each.

Our first ride, the Dream Catcher, hoisted us 30 feet in the air. We screamed. Screaming feels good. I forgot that. While screaming, I wasn't thinking about calling the cable company or how I need to start doing more squats. I was too gleefully terrified to do anything but enjoy the therapeutic powers of good fear: lowered stress, improved mood, and an emotional release powered by the swing of a pendulum and the power of taking a ride on a shaky mechanism operated by a straight-faced and frankly dangerously distracted operator.

The afternoon was dizzy. We put quarter after quarter into a coin pusher. We put ourselves in a human salad spinner also known as the Gravitron (some call it The Zipper). Then it was back to the games. Suddenly I had only three $1 bills left. The balloon game operator wanted $5. I told him three is all I had. Remember the rules of the fanny pack: always bargain. He leaned in. It's always a good sign when game operators lean in. He warned me that his boss was around the corner but he accepted my three dollars. I threw darts and popped enough balloons to take home a tiny stuffed elephant with Velcro on its arms in case I need to attach it to anything later.

Out of money and tickets, our final goal was getting Hayley's goldfish. To do it, we needed to get a ping-pong ball securely into a glass cup on a table lined with cups. Not a single one of our 30 some balls landed in a glass. We pulled the operator aside and asked for help. He suggested letting the balls bounce on the table for an extra boost into the cups. It was then I knew that carnivals are glorious ridiculous traps full of rigged Ponzi schemes and I will go to them always. Can we have another turn? I asked the operator, worried that I was embarrassing Hayley with my forwardness. I really want to win a goldfish, Hayley proclaimed. I know you do, the goldfish game operator answered. He leaned in and so did we. Things were looking up. I'll tell you what. You give me $5 more and I'll give both of you a goldfish. Ping-pong balls flew everywhere, none of them landed, and a few minutes later, we each had a clear plastic bag with a goldfish in our hand.

We decided our fish names had to be carnival-themed. I instantly settled on Ticket. Hayley, in honor of a Greek food stand, decided on Gyro. People tell me not to get too attached to Ticket. (Such naysayers! This article taught me how to keep my carnival goldfish alive). Ticket isn't just a fish to me (although he is a fantastic fish who is thriving in his new home, thank you for asking). Ticket goes along with my new life motto: Always go to carnivals.

Ready to feel alive this summer? Here's a handy carnival game guide.

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junker-town · 8 years ago

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Dino Babers is here to ‘strike fear into defensive coordinators’

If you’re writing a movie about the Syracuse head coach, you’re gonna want to make it a thriller.

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — “A., I like movies, but B., it’s a time for me to go out in public, when the lights turn down and no one can see who I am,” Syracuse Orange coach Dino Babers told SB Nation.

“And I can actually be like everybody else and just laugh and make a noise in a theater and be normal. Because as soon as the lights go back on, I’ve been a head football coach in smaller towns, and everybody knows who I am, and I’m back on again.”

He’s far ahead of his fellow football coaches when it comes to keeping up with pop culture, but movies are about more than that. Movies were his escape as a young man and a constant for the son of a Navy man whose family moved often. Now, trips to the “movie house” are an offseason indulgence.

Dino isn’t a nickname, either; he’s named after the Italian movie star Dino Verde. Not many head coaches see Oscar winners until years later, but Dino’s seen Moonlight. A former wide receivers coach, Babers noticed the in-cut route run by Get Out character Walter, the one that spawned the viral Get Out challenge.

Back when he was a kid, sequels weren’t the backbone of the movie industry that they are now. Babers’ career has twice been propelled by second acts. A 7-5 Eastern Illinois became a 12-2 FCS quarterfinal squad. His 8-6 Bowling Green Falcons went 10-2 the next year, before he left for Syracuse.

The opening of his Syracuse tenure was a 4-8 2016. He admits his offensive system lends itself to leaps in aptitude the second go-around, but it will not be easy in Part II. Our protagonist faces his toughest antagonists yet, with LSU, Miami, Florida State, Louisville, and Clemson on the schedule.

If you’re writing the Babers biopic, your title character is complex.

To play him, perhaps you’d call Denzel Washington (his choice) or Will Smith (whom his wife and daughters think it should be).

You’d have to find someone to channel both old-school and new-school sensibilities. There’s a record player in his office with vinyls under it and music from his home state of Hawaii playing softly. He says he’s selfish with his music, but his players get to choose everything that plays during practices.

Of course, there are two exceptions.

“The first song is ‘Smooth,’ Santana,” Babers said. “The last song: ‘I Feel Good,’ James Brown. Every black guy, white guy, pink guy, green guy will learn the words of those songs. Now, in between those two songs, they get to play whatever they want, as long as there’s not cuss words or N-bombs.”

Babers does not run his team like a former military brat and says he doesn’t care how long your hair is.

“I want [my team] to be loose,” he said. “I want them to be freewheeling, and I want there to be interaction between them and their coaches. Now that being said, there’s a discipline to this game, and that’s where all that stuff kicks in.

“But the discipline — go to a baking analogy — discipline is in the cake. It doesn’t have to be in the icing. All that baking you do — the cake, ‘Oh, what kinda icing you gonna put on there?’ — it doesn’t matter what you put on it if the cake’s no doggone good. You bake the cake.”

(Babers can bake, although he doesn’t eat chocolate.)

As you develop the screenplay, you’d have to channel the most theatrical moment of his career so far, the speech after last year’s 31-17 victory over Virginia Tech. Appropriately, it looks ripped from a sports movie.

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That moment was close to the vision he’d promised. In his introductory press conference, Babers asked those in attendance — even the media — to close their eyes and envision a team that could win in all three phases and bring a din to the Carrier Dome.

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“I think that defensively, that was probably the closest that it came,” Babers said in his office about the win. “I would say offensively, I’d probably go more to the Pittsburgh game [a 76-61 loss]. I think [the VT game] was a fabulous defensive game by us. We did some things on offense and we made some plays, but I really believe that game was a defensive win.”

You probably don’t associate Babers with defense.

Babers has been a product of many systems during a career that goes back to 1984, when he was a graduate assistant at his alma mater, Hawaii. But this system is an air raid variation that can be categorized as the veer and shoot.

“It absolutely strikes fear, in my opinion, into the defensive coordinators the night before the game,” he says.

The system was honed at Baylor, where Babers coached wide receivers from 2008 to 2011. It was borne out of necessity when former BU head coach Art Briles was a high school coach during the 1990s in Stephenville, Texas. Briles pushed for Babers to go to Eastern Illinois and told him to bet on himself.

“We’re not big phone guys,” Babers said of his contact with Briles. “But we text every blue moon. Recently. I’ll say that.“

The events and reporting most frequently associated with the sexual assault scandal that rocked Baylor and resulted in Briles’ 2015 firing occurred mostly after Babers left for Eastern Illinois in December 2011.

Babers was on staff while Tevin Elliot was a member of the Bears. Four months after Babers left, the defensive end was arrested on two counts of sexual assault and removed from the team. He was sentenced in 2014 to 20 years in prison. Baylor was later sued by five women who say Elliot raped them from 2009 to 2012, four of them testifying against him.

When asked about the scandal, Babers said:

“I can talk about from 2008 to 2011, and Tevin Elliot was there. Heard he did bad, heard he got kicked off the team. And I became a head coach. And that’s not, how do I say this? That’s not to cover me. It’s just what happened.

“I’m military. Boom, boom, next. There are certain things that you don’t get second chances for. I got four daughters. I’m down with that.”

If you made the Babers biopic, you’d have a ready-made heart-stopping moment.

The car crash nine years ago, on a recruiting trip for Baylor, should have killed him. A tire blew out, and a panicked Babers hit the brakes at 80 miles per hour. His car spun, and he ended up facing oncoming traffic on an interstate near Houston. Babers recalled in detail the face of the semi driver who swerved to miss him.

“I don’t use the word s-c-a-r-e-d anymore either, because I nearly died nine years ago. Since then, I don’t use that word,” Babers said.

He was content to stay at Eastern Illinois for 25 years like his predecessor, Bob Spoo, who gave Babers his first full-time job as a running backs coach in 1987. Both started their head coaching careers at Eastern at age 50.

But with experience playing DB in college and so much time as a WR coach, Babers brings a WR’s sensibility to teaching the system he took from Baylor. Despite his background, he’ll tell you the QB is still the most important part.

“When a quarterback throws a receiver a ball, a receiver should be able to throw that same ball back to that quarterback,” Babers said. “And that is what’s been missing. What that means is that you and I have played catch so much that you’re the pitcher and I’m the catcher. You throw me a ball, I throw you a ball, you throw me a ball, I throw you a ball. We take our mitts off, and you’d have to say, ‘Which one’s the catcher, and which one’s the pitcher?’ because we’ve exercised that skill so many times.”

He calls plays without a sheet, takes calculated risks on fourth downs, and recalls the little things, like the fact that his quarterback got hurt on play No. 14 of the Clemson game. I checked, and he’s right, if you don’t count punts as offensive plays, which many coaches don’t.

“Our quarterback has to be a thrower, not a runner,” Babers said. “It’s not a wishbone offense. It’s not Navy’s offense. We do want to run the football, but our quarterbacks need to be NFL quarterbacks. They need to be guys that, after they have a fantastic college career, they go to the pros and they have a pro career.”

Under Babers, EIU’s Jimmy Garoppolo threw for over 5,000 yards and 53 touchdowns as a senior against only nine interceptions. He would finish in the top three of FCS’ most meaningful statistical categories and lead the Panthers to FCS’ most prolific offense. Garoppolo now backs up Tom Brady and appears in major NFL trade rumors, with the assumption he could be a franchise QB.

“Now, all that being said, if they do have legs that can get them out of trouble, that’s an advantage. But that’s the No. 1 thing. The No. 1 thing: has to be able to touch the entire football field; 53 and a third wide, 120 yards long. They’ve got to be able touch it all.”

Since Babers’ relocation to New York, he’s been able to see Broadway shows for the first time.

He wanted to see Hamilton last offseason, but there was a problem: his whole family wanted to go too.

“They were so fricking expensive,” Babers said. “This was like in the last two weeks of the original cast before they were about to close down. I’m like, the heck? One I mighta saw, me, but they were all like, ‘We wanna go.’ We’re talkin’ about six big ones. I’m like, ‘oh heck no.’ Because I know it’s supposed to be good, but to me the best Broadway show is West Side Story, which is my favorite movie. So I’m like, I’m not gonna go see this Hamilton thing.”

Tickets for that performance were going anywhere from $5-$20,000 each on the resale market, but he did enjoy the cast’s parody of Garoppolo.

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Babers did see The Lion King and Jersey Boys with his family. In the latter, he saw the future of his program.

“The thing that cracked me up was the opening line of Jersey Boys. Now I’m sitting here, first and second Broadway show, never been to one live,” Babers said, “and in the Jersey Boys, the opening line says — they’re singing — but the first time the guy talks, he goes, ‘Hi, my name’s Tommy DeVito, and I put New Jersey on the map.’”

Babers was recruiting a young quarterback by the same name from the same state.

“And I’m sitting there going, ‘Are you sending me a message?’”

One "Jersey Boys" name sounded familiar,but I can't put my finger on it... #TheyPutJerseyOnTheMap #Broadway #AWEsome http://pic.twitter.com/rhqarrTQG3

— Dino Babers (@CoachBabersCuse) July 6, 2016

DeVito ended up signing with the Orange, an Elite 11 participant and the No. 15 pro-style QB in his class, per the 247Sports Composite. He’ll arrive in the summer.

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QB recruit Tommy DeVito believes Syracuse can return to greatness

Our partners with SB Nation College Football spoke to QB recruit Tommy DeVito, who is all-in with the Syracuse Orange. He explains why and what his future plans are in this video.

Posted by Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician on Thursday, July 7, 2016

For now, Eric Dungey leads the team through spring. Dungey ran Syracuse’s option system in 2015, then shifted to Babers’ system and improved his completion percentage while more than doubling his pass attempts.

Babers told his future QB to go see Jersey Boys. He’s not sure if that’s happened yet, but they can see it together later this offseason.

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asianbourdain · 8 years ago

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Beijing: All the Random Shit I Ate in Beijing 2016

4/24/16

Traditional Beijing Breakfast at some local spot

We arrived in Beijing early Sunday Morning and we got into a taxi as fast as we possibly could because we were starving. My girlfriend directed the driver to take us where the locals go for breakfast and we were off.

Upon walking into the place, two emotions immediately took over my body: 1. This place is real local 2. What the fuck are we supposed to do?

A complete sensory overload.

Individual stalls with lines in front of it like this:

But everyone is holding a ticket? Ah OK, you’re supposed to pay up front first, then take the tickets and get in line individually to collect your order.

Each window also has a specific set of condiments, so now it’s getting real serious.

After about 5 minutes of messing around and me ruining our breakfast this is what the result is. A bean gelatin of some sort, two kinds of fry bread, a tea egg, a dumpling, savory soy milk (that I ruined with some chili oil), a red bean-sesame-sticky rice napoleon, and this super popular pasty porridge called Miancha. It’s a wheaty porridge topped with a sesame syrup of sorts. Apparently you’re supposed to sip it around the rim until the syrup is gone, then get another ladle of syrup. We really fucked that up too. Regardless of the correctness of our process, the meal was interesting, eye-opening, and really really cheap. I really want to give this another shot and not suck at it.

Nan Luo Gu Xiang Zha Jiang Mian from this hole-in-the-wall shop

We also ordered some preserved egg soaking in black vinegar and topped with ginger. The dish to the left was another popular noodle style that’s a lot wetter, more pasta-like variant. The preserved egg in this style is always a hit. Both noodles dishes were special in their own sense. One was heavier and more complex with a stew-like meat sauce slopped in. The Zha Jiang Mian was not what I expected. I thought it would be something closer to a DDM, but this was fresher. A lot of snap and crisp from the julienned veggies. A must whilst in Beijing.

Grilled Lamb and Sausage from this Hawker Stand

I always love Uyghur-influenced grilled things on skewers. I just wish I had some beers.

Hot Pot at Hai Di Lao

Some cucumbers and tomatoes to diffuse the fire in between bites

Yin and yang. Fire and corn? Both broths were INSANELY flavorful. Dimensions, depth, and crazy development in both soups. Some serious stuff.

The crazy sauce bar

I also ordered a Harbin Beer, but they threw cucumbers in it?

The spread, pretty standard but everything was just on point.

We also added the infamous dancing noodle at the end. A ridiculous deal for 2 bucks. A guy comes to your table in all white and hand pulls a noodle while dancing to the music of your choice, absolutely sick. What a ridiculously great meal. Everything was on point. After this meal, I come to find out there’s one in the 626! It probably isn’t as good, but I must try.

4/25/16

This spread at a work lunch

The supplier wanted to put us to sleep at lunch because this spread was real serious. Steamed fish, Gai Lan, Green Onion Pancakes, Sweet Fried Pork (probably a dish ordered to appease us soft Americans), bamboo shoots, stir fried lamb in scallions, stir fried chicken in scallions, soup, house made soft tofu, pan fried green onion cakes, fried and steamed shrimp, and the weirdest thing of all: No rice!? How does a restaurant run like this? Proper execution on EVERY dish? Amazing. The food culture here is starting to grow on me...

“Beijing Barbecue” at this local spot

The concept is simple. The front of the restaurant is a full-fledged meat market. You pick out what you want, a host takes it down and it gets grilled and brought to your table

Scallops, oysters, grubs, and shrimp.

All the regular meats

The shroom station

The veg

The local craft beer!

The fucking hand-pulled noodle station, half chubs.

Mouthwatering Chicken

Absolutely killer. It’ll also light your mouth on fire if you’re not careful. Cold chicken, chilis, scallion whites, Szechuan Peppercorns, and more. It requires some elbow grease to dig out a piece of chicken, but when you finally find one and harvest the 2 threads of meat and/or skin, it’ll be totally worth it.

Beef Noodle

Not a typical dish ordered at this meal apparently, but I don’t care. This shit was good. The noodle texture was on point, the thickness was consistent, beef was still tender, and the soup had me going back for more after every spoonful. Great touch on the seasoning.

Baked Scallop with Noodles

Small apps of scallops stir-fried with some cellophane noodles and dropped back on the half-shell.

Ong Choy and Enoki Mushrooms

I think they ordered this because I requested some veg, but these light and dry stir-fried preparations were clutch.

Grilled Squid

1 huge cuttlefish chopped up, skewered, seasoned, and lightly scorched on the grill. A bit chewy, but still tasty.

Chicken Wings

Butterflied Fish, Lamb, Chicken, Chicken Gizzards, Chicken Hearts

A lot of classics, can’t-go-wrongs at the top of this picture. The fish was presented beautifully. Butterflied down the back, flattened out, then grilled. The seasoning was salty and spicy, great with beer.

4/27/16 Chaoyang This Sweet and Sour Szechuan Fish Thing from Some Big Company Banquet Dinner

Besides the fact that the species of the fish was a complete mystery to me, everything about this dish was perfection. The presentation was crazy. The prep must take forever for every one of these they need to pump out. Debone, skin, butterfly, and then crosshatch each fillet into bite-sized morsels before you bread, fry, and sauce. The fry was impossibly crispy, even after a healthy drenching of a thick pineapple-based sauce. What a great American Palate-friendly dish, yea that’s probably why I love it.

4/28/16

Gui Jie Fried Whole Squid at some Kiosk

These were found everywhere that was even remotely touristy and I resisted a few times already, but I had to do it this time. It came out really nice, but it was essentially the same profile as most other fried Chinese drinking snacks. A heavy dose of sweet potato flour, a hard fry, and then dusted with five-spice salt. Chilli powder is optional. The squid itself was still a bit chewy since it was so large, but this is very similar to the small squid tentacles found at any milk tea cafe.

Donkey Burger

The place only had a few words of English, but they all pointed to the words “Donkey Burger”. What was the actual protein stuffed inside this crispy bun? Shit I don’t know but it tasted real funky. Not sure if it was the seasoning or the protein itself but it was quite strange. Funk and gaminess that my tongue was just completely confused by. But was it good? Hell yea, the bun had a crunch that resembled a scallion pancake. The meat was tender and well seasoned through a stew. I just wish there was a nice pickle to cut it.

Fried Intestines from this kiosk

After some research, I found out the words on the stand said fried intestines, but this was by far the shadiest thing I’ve ever attempted to eat. Walking up to the stand, the guy pulled the pieces of meat(?) out of a pot from the hidden shadows, then threw them on a large flat wok heated by a small propane burner. He collected money, fried, collected orders, and served all by himself. The biggest attraction for me was the large group that gravitated towards this guy. After I put in my order, I realize he’s backed up at least 6 covers (more than his wok can produce in 1 batch). So I waited patiently. When It was finally my turn, I watched him throw them onto a plastic clamshell, then dress it with a garlic vinegar. I can’t say it was worth the wait, nor was it the best thing I’ve eaten on this trip but it was undeniably tasty. A bit heavy, a touch chewy, a little greasy, and a lot of crunchy. No way I would say no if it was next to an ice cold beer.

4/29/16

Lunch at a random mall cafe

Another Chinese Burger

The bun wasn’t as crispy and light on this one, but the filling tasted more like a protein that I'm familiar with. Something that doesn’t smell like it got scraped off the side of the road.

Zha Jiang Mian with handpulled noodles

Holy shit this was fantastic. This might have been my favorite thing all trip. Thick chewy noodles. Light stewy broth. Perfectly stewed pork. Fiery chili oil cut with some pickles and cucumbers. Beautiful balance of flavors and textures.

Crazy mess of a delicious soup

This soup had everything: handpulled noodles, tofu skin, cellophane noodles, cilantro, cabbage, pork, leafy tripe, chili oil, and a deep numbing broth brewed for hours. Great stuff.

Chili Dumplings

Oh man, this is the stuff. One of my favorite things ever. Huge boulders of ground pork wrapped in a blanket of chewy dumpling skin bathed in a hot lava of soy, scallions, dried and fresh chilis. I ate all but one of these suckers.

A mind-blowing meal from a random cafe at the mall? Either this was a jackpot or the food standards in Beijing are in the right place.

Sanlitung Jian Bing from this cart

Stumbling around Sanlitung drunk, I was looking for a clear spot to call my Uber to head home, but then I saw this aura radiating from a woman and a tiny food cart. A drunk’s oasis.

Holy fuck, it’s a Jian Bing cart! I threw up a prayer to the drunk gods and they answered with this mainland special.

First a layer of batter for the base. Then goes an egg spread evenly around the entire base. The filling began with green lettuce, cilantro, onions, scallions, pickles, seasonings, hoisin? and a crispy bread cracker thing. Wrapped and thrown in a bag

I have crossed over into a new realm of drunk eats. This is on a stage of its own. The complexity of flavors combined with the layers of different textures justifies any drunken tongue burn. There are a few guys trying to do this in the states, but nothing beats spontaneously running into this cart after a thorough inebriation caused by 12 beers. Severely underrated.

#Beijing #Zha Jiang Mian #Nan Luo Gu Xiang #Hot Pot #Hai Di Lao #Donkey Burger #Noodles #Jian Bing #ATRSIA

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