#just thinkin (again) abt how my stupid brain or heart or whichever wont let me enjoy dating apps bc of a) my dumb crush on a celeb and b) th
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#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#dating app diary#(only tangentially tho)#just thinkin (again) abt how my stupid brain or heart or whichever wont let me enjoy dating apps bc of a) my dumb crush on a celeb and b) th#*the fact that its through an app and w the intention of dating 🥲#the first thing is dumb as is n i dont need to get into tht bc i already have several times (iykyk) but the SECOND.......#its like. i need to meet someone organically n without the context of 'im tryna date u so OF COURSE im gonna act x way to get u interested'#ykwim?? like i needa see them as a Person an Individual before my brain'll let me develop feelings like tht#n SOMETIMES ill meet someone on an app n we'll click but like!!! on a platonic level!! n then its like 'oh. yesh#*'yeah idk abt a romantic relationship here'#n i feel like thats how SO MANY of my romantic endeavors go: i have a crush on someone im friendly w n they only see me as a 'good friend'#or even 'like a sister/sibling' so its like 🧍🏽♀️ aight#anyways ive been off my dating apps for a while n not actively looking for anything (bc my Crush) but im also like. at what point do i try#to move beyond/past that 🧍🏽♀️ when do i say 'aight... thats unlikely... gotta move on...' (bc ik ill move on if/when celebcrush dates#(someone. or at least if he goes public w that info ofc.) but idk im a little weirdo n my heart wont let me let tht go so easy yk?#hence me being off dating apps#(also tht One Encounter had me wanna take a step back anyways. if anyone remembers That.)#idkkkkkkkk
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