#just the other day i randomly woke up at 630 am and had an idea so i wrote it in my phone then went back to bed XDDD

[stanknotstark]

Astral Pt. 15.1 (Loki x Reader)

So like I thought of Loki eating a marshmallow for the first time and planned it out a little bit like a week or a week and a half ago and very recently before i could write anything I saw a tiktok with the same idea and it made me feel scared and happy at the same time 😂 anyways i got my packing done so i had time to write! It was easy since there was no plot! However I hope you guys realize that all the .1s are never planned....like i literally wake up that day, look at a blank post, and think hmm today i shall do this! LOL

It’s one day before you head out to track down Madonna when you finally break. 

Luckily it’s only Loki around to see it but still you’re a little embarrassed. 

“Why is the magic so hard to control!” You scream throwing a big ball of energy into the open space of the training room. When it hits the wall the entire room shakes a bit then it goes silent. Loki doesn’t say anything just watches you and how you’re going to react now. 

You stand there, haggardly breathing, your eyes closed tight, your hands fists at your side. As you rile yourself up more when you think of Madonna and Kang you don’t realize your magic is starting to flow around you in sparks and flares. 

Loki calls out your name but you don’t hear it. What you do notice is Loki’s hands cupping your face. When you open your eyes you see Loki looking down at you but then you see your magic connecting with his body in random intervals. Every time your magic connects with him it leaves the place searing red, hot, and charred. You look up and see Loki wince when the magic reaches his skin. 

You deflate, embarrassed and ashamed, and your magic that was uncontrolled disappears. You drop to your knees, breaking out of Loki’s grasp but Loki follows you down anyways. You sit on your knees, your face hidden in your hands as you try your best not to cry. Loki sits right in front of you on his knees too. He gives you a little time before he pries your hands from your face and makes you look at him. 

“You don’t have to be strong all the time, I want you to know it’s ok to cry.” Loki whispers to you, his eyes filled with nothing but affection. 

You let out a sob, gasp, feel the tears that had welled in your eyes drop down your cheeks. 

Loki pulls you into a hug and just sits there holding you as you let out your frustration all over his, now ruined, hoodie.

When you’ve let out everything you’ve been bottling you sniffle and pull from Loki’s hug. You quickly wipe at your eyes and nose and do nothing more than smear the unwanted liquids across your face. Then, you apologize. 

“Nonsense.” Is all Loki says before magicking a handkerchief for you. You take it with a small thanks and actually clean off your face. 

When you’re presentable Loki brings a hand up and caresses your jawline. “While it saddens me to see you cry, you’re very cute when you do.” 

You let out a wobbly laugh at this statement, bringing a hand up to cover Loki’s hand on your jaw. “Men, I swear.” You smile at Loki as he smiles at you. 

Loki drops his hand to his lap and gives you a questioning look. “Would you like to talk about what made you so...” Loki waves his hands around. 

You look at the ground with a frown. “I just...I’m really frustrated with my magic right now, and it doesn’t help that we visit Madonna....My mother, tomorrow.”

Loki hums but lets you gather your words. 

“I just...When Thor mentioned I might be adopted I had hoped he was right only so I could find my family and maybe they would actually want me, that I would belong somewhere in a family.” You sigh. “Then I found out my real mother is even worse than my fake mother and sent someone to kill me. She couldn’t even do the dirty work herself.” You say with a glare at the floor. 

Loki brings a hand up and tilts your chin up to look at him. He stares deep into your eyes with a frown. “Have you not found a new family that loves and adores you?” 

At this you frown but realize what he means and your face softens. “I didn’t even realize....” You softly say, a little guilty.

Loki gives a small smile. “While they are not blood, they have come to care for you better than any blood family will. It took me some time to realize this too. With Thor I resented him, pushed him out, but I’ve come to realize that while he may not be blood, he cares for me just as much.” 

You nod at Loki who pulls his hand from your face and stands, then holds a hand out to you to help you stand. When you’re standing next to him he pulls you into his side and makes his way to the door with you. 

“I’ve yet to try these so called marshmallows, I think now would be a perfect time.” 

You gasp and look at Loki excited, breakdown completely forgotten. 

“Oh my gosh, there’s so many new flavors, they originally started as vanilla but now you can find some with coconut shavings on them and you can find some in chocolate too!” 

Loki smiles down as you childishly babble on about marshmallows. 

By the time you both make it to the kitchen you and Loki are in a rousing discussion about whether the death penalty should be abolished. Considering the death penalty still applies in Asgard, Loki believes it shouldn’t be abolished. He says he believes it gives more incentive to not do something bad. You rebuke him and tell him that it didn’t stop him from what he did and that shuts Loki up fast. You smirk at having won this debate. 

Loki leans against the counter and waits patiently as you search all the freaking cabinets for the marshmallows. As you search you question if you’ve ever even seen this much food outside of a grocery store. 

Finally, you find a bag of the mega marshmallows and give a little whoop. You turn and throw the bag to Loki who catches it without issue and looks at the bag with something akin to disgust and curiosity. 

“And you think I’m going to like these?” Loki says slowly. 

You giggle. “Jus open it and try them!”

Loki follows your command and uses a dagger to open the bag prim and proper instead of tearing it like a normal mortal might. 

When he reaches a hand in and touches the marshmallows for the first time you get giddy. His face softens and his eyes are like a puppies. 

“They’re so soft...” He whispers. 

You smile at Loki who shakes himself and pulls one out. He places the bag on the counter and then holds the marshmallow in front of him, eye level. He inspects it for a second then brings it to his nose and sniffs it. He lets out a noise of approval and bites into the fluffy thing. 

You closely watch his face and recognize that he truly likes it but his face quickly changes to one of disgust as he chews on the marshmallow. 

“It’s disgusting.” He states.

You smirk as you quickly move to grab the bag behind him on the counter. “Fine, I’ll give them to Thor then.” You turn and start to make your way to the door but Loki grabs your wrist.

“No, don’t you dare!” Loki yells. 

You turn around and smirk at the god. 

“So you like them then?” You ask, shaking the bag of marshmallows out of his reach.

Loki keeps a hold on your wrist but finishes off the rest of the marshmallow he still holds before he says, “I may approve of them, a bit.” Loki says with a look of defiance. 

“Hmm not good enough.” You say giving a tug at Loki’s hold but not enough to break it. 

“Yes. Yes, I like them!” 

You now full on smile at the god and hand him the bag of marshmallows. The god hugs them to his chest like he’s protecting a baby and glares at you. 

“Tell Thor to buy himself another bag, these are mine.” Loki says snootily. 

You laugh but come up with an idea and make your way to the cabinets again. Loki quietly watches you while eating marshmallows. 

When you’ve found a box of graham crackers and some Hershey’s chocolate you give a sound of happiness. Coming back to Loki you manage to steal one of his marshmallows and stick it on a fork. You place the graham crackers and a piece of chocolate on the counter and then look at Loki while holding the marshmallow up. Loki gives you a questionable look as he chews. You light a small ball of fire in your free hand and put it under the marshmallow and Loki looks on with great curiosity as the marshmallow expands a bit and becomes a little charred, melting.

You place the marshmallow on the cracker and chocolate and make it into a smores. Then you hand it to Loki who takes it without hesitation and takes a big bite into it. 

As you look at Loki you feel the butterflies in your stomach act up. Loki stands there hugging a bag of marshmallows to his chest with his right arm. In his left hand is a messy smores dripping down his fingers. His mouth is covered with chocolate and melted marshmallow. You have half a mind to lick it off of him. 

“Good?” Is all you ask. 

Loki stops, looks at the smores, and glances to you. 

“Quite messy but...” You raise a brow as Loki inspects the smores in his hand. “Yes, good.” 

You nod satisfied and see Thor enter the kitchen. 

“Ah, I see you’ve discovered smores!” 

“This is just the food for you Thor, it’s messy, just how you like to eat everything.” Loki says without barbs, more teasing. 

Thor laughs, “Do not forget who left the table with squashed peas in his hair then refused to be bathed.” 

You pique up at the mention of a good story, you’re sure, but the brothers don’t elaborate. Loki just scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

“At any rate, you’re going to have to buy more marshmallows these are mine.”

Thor looks at you with a small smile. “Loki has never been fond of sharing.”

“I share just fine with people I like!” 

Thor purses his lips and squints then shakes his head a little. You laugh and look at Loki. 

“I mean, he has a point, I don’t think I’ve seen you share with anyone but me.” 

“That’s because I like you.” Loki says playfully indignant. At this he gives you his half eaten smores which you take and begin eating, as if trying to prove his point.

“Make sure to get messy, I’d like to lick the excess off your face, darling.”

You nearly choke on the bite you just took with a pitiful glance at Thor who just rolls his eyes and continues on into the kitchen. 

“My brother is insatiable.” Thor says from somewhere behind you. 

You swallow the bite you were choking on and slap Loki’s arm. Loki merely smiles down at you. You giggle a little while looking at Loki’s hoodie arm. He looks down and sees you’ve left smores on his arm when you slapped him. Before Loki can react Thor states, loudly, “No more food fights! Tony said the smell didn’t leave the room for hours even though the room was pristine!” 

You pout and Loki stops the pout with his index finger. Then he leans down and gives you a kiss. As he kisses you you can literally feel the sticky residues mixing. This causes you too pull away with a frown. 

“I can’t do this until we get clean, this is disgusting.” 

“Yes, it is.” Thor supplies from his spot at the oven. 

You laugh at Loki’s glare he sends Thor. 

When you glance behind you at Thor you see he’s making spaghetti. 

“When are you going to cook me something? That’s romantic.” You ask Loki before finishing the smores you have in your hand. 

“Goes both ways, sweetheart.” Loki says. 

You glare at Loki but realize it’s true and shrug. “Fair enough.” You say dropping the matter. 

“I’m going to take a shower, no kisses till your face is clean!” You yell as you walk out of the kitchen and leave Loki there with Thor. 

Pt. 15/Pt. 15.1/?

Tag list: @justfangirlthingies​ @emelieh99​ @high-functioning-lokipath​ @loveableasshole​ @mp0625​ 

[iisthisurltakenyetuniverse-blog]

not going to be using this for too much anymore, but eh

Not sure who is reading this, I'm trying to prevent an audience of people that do know me, or whatever. i don't really care right now. 

i feel like i have so much to say, but not enough time or energy to say it.  you see, I'm suffering from Depression. i can't get out of bed. I cant eat, and I cry all the time.  my fiancé is an alcoholic. we have a 3mo daughter. He is the sole reason I have depression. This post is going to be my closure. I will not come back to it once i OFFICIALLY leave him. Every night, he drinks and drinks, then he picks up the baby, screams for me, and tell me ‘I can't hold her. I'm too drunk’ 

this isn't the first time, and I know it won't be the last until I leave him for good. I hate him. i truly, honestly, deeply hate him. I haven't loved him since i hit the 3rd month of my pregnancy, when he beat me, and i won't ever love anybody again. 

He is definitely the root of my problems, and i know how bad that sounds, but its true. He has thrown my cell phone and my wallet off of our 8th floor balcony because I did not have weed for him, nor would he wake up for work on time. I will post photos as well.  When I went to retrieve my items (what was left of them anyway); my phone was completely gone. and with it, the evidence that would have saved me and bring me to a safer life. I don't want him. i can't have him in my life.  He has repeatedly thrown me around. His mother would take his side, stating ‘you're crazy.’ meanwhile, she forced me to live in an apartment that i cannot afford, and to have me on the lease (Im listed as occupant, so I legally have no rights over her, i just can't get in shit with the landlord or whatever. source: http://ontariolandlordandtenantlaw.blogspot.ca/2013/04/my-roommate-abandoned-me.html?m=1) I remember one day; i think it was july or august, i don't know right now. I came home from my job at a collections office, to him dead asleep and an empty vodka bottle on the living room table, and in the bathroom on the sink. (i don't know what a mickey is, but he had one 750ml bottle, and one 250mL.) He works at 700PM and i know he has to leave for 630. so I wake him up at 5:45 to 6. I get home on fridays at 5pm, so i don't exactly have much time to do anything for myself, and we were also well aware of the pregnancy and how far along i was (8 weeks or so. I know it wasn't 12 yet because I did not want to tell anybody besides him yet)  So, here I am. 93lbs of me trying to wake him up. he keeps shoving me away and telling me to fuck off. no, wake up and go to work. he wouldn't. so whatever. i tried, he can go in late like he usually does.  at 620, his phone rings. I dont know who it is, and I don't care. I was in the living room having my tea and reading articles on my phone when he rips the bedroom door apart, screams at me for not waking him up, and demanding I give him weed. right. now.  i DID NOT have any on me, nor was I supposed to. I was pregnant and I was trying to kick the habit. he started screaming, yelling, throwing everything around the room and apartment screaming that ‘I need my fix. you hid some. where is it?’ keep in mind, this was well past 630 i TOLD HIM repeatedly, i DO NOT have any. and i started to record evidence on my phone in the form of a voice recording (incase it goes to court.) He notices that it made a sound, ran to the corner I was in, picked up my phone (which had my ID and my debit card in the case.) threatened to throw it out the balcony if i was recording. i said no. its mine give it back.  So he proceeds to run to the balcony, and chuck it over. (my girlfriend happened to be downstairs at the time and picked it up for me. She recognized my case and gave it back when i ran to grab it. i HAVE included photos of the phone on the next post. it wouldn't let me here for some reason) Before I am able to run downstairs, he proceeds to lift me up, throw me on the ground, and sit on my neck until I promise to ‘stop being a stupid little bitch causing unnecessary drama.’ this whole time i was pinned, I was screaming for help. anybody. just somebody to hear me rasping my voice and losing consciousness from a 288lb male sitting on my neck. Knowing time was going to run out, I had to warn him. ‘if you do not get off of me i will bite you until you let go, and I will not stop until you do.’ he, did not take the chance to believe me, and proceeded to scream as i bit down. He did not let go of my head. He decided to place a call to my parents to let them know what i did. the conversation followed: (from what i could hear, remember, i have no phone anymore.) Crazy Male I reside with: your daughter bit me, and you need to pick her up and take her to a mental hospital. My father: Can you tell me why she bit you? I can't punish my daughter if I don't know why she would randomly bite you. she's not an animal.  CM: She bit me and I'm bleeding. come pick her up. Dad: Why did she bite you? Answer me. CM: She bit me! you need to come get her! anyway so my parents never found out, and still don't know what happened. I will probably show them this post one day when I’m comfortable with accepting this. I am writing this so I could finally have some closure from this relationship. he has thrown and broken countless things of mine, from makeup being whipped at a wall for it to explode, to my handbag being thrown out a window and the front door in the wind. not once, has he ever owned up to these, nor apologized. 

The next day, he was bruised in the spot where i bit him, and demanded that everybody knew ‘I was a crazy psychotic bitch.’ even my parents didn't believe him. They knew something was up. Anyway, I stayed in the apartment, actually, I'm writing this in the apartment with my daughter in her swing, and him smoking his life away. 

anyway, after that episode, he kicked me in the abdomen twice, he threw his phone at me, and told me ‘When I come back, i don't ever want to see you again.’ okay, great. same page. bonus.  So the mall closes at 9, its almost 8now. I had to sprint to the mall phone kiosk and ask them to charge me for another one. I was in tears and covered in dirt and whatever was on the floor. the man was quick to help me get set up and sent me on my way with ‘good luck’. I think he was sincere. he smiles when he sees me at the mall., but I'm sure anybody would if they showed up crying hysterically with shards of glass instead of a phone.  so that was it. for that story. I had a new iPhone and was able to contact my ‘seven cups of tea’ lady. She recommended I do what you readers are saying, leave him and call the police. but i just couldn't do it. I know how that sounds, but I couldn't. do it. 

my girlfriend, Lauren, (she plays a HUGE role in my safety and mental health, ill explain her too as this goes on) was always willing to get here and force me out. her boyfriend, Brian, just got a new SUV and they could handle me and my items in one trip. I just couldn't. leave. as bad as i wanted to. i couldn't.  So I always ended up lying to her, to make her not feel like she's bothering me. but i knew she cared. she never. ever stopped caring about me and my baby. To her, my daughter was the child she could not have yet, but she did everything she possibly could, organized people to talk to me, and help. i still said no. The next day at work, I showed up with a bruised face, and lied through my teeth. to my manager, my supervisor, HR, and my best friend. They didn't know until after anyway, the week after the episode, it started again. this time, I happened to still be in the office at work, as it was my late night, I finished at 730 and got home at 8 as my dad gave me a ride home twice a week. at around 6pm, he started calling my cell phone. I know he won't call my work unless is an emergency, so i ignored it. then he texted me. he asked me where the weed was. I told him I did not have any, again.  He asked me again, stating I have it hidden somewhere. I told him, no. (the truth) and not to bother me at work. I turned my phone off. I didn't need to be distracted at work. when i finished, and turned my phone on, i had texts from him that were extremely verbally abusive. and sent me a text saying ‘clean the mess up.’ I had no idea what he meant, and he would not answer my texts or my call.  I get home, and theres nothing out of the ordinary. theres a plate in the sink and his liquor bottles on the table, but nothing that I'm not used to.  So I go to the hallway, and on the bedroom door, it says ‘fuck you, idiot loser.’ so I cry and can't hold myself up, so I fall to the ground. i had NO idea what to expect. I opened the bedroom door, and all my clothes, all my makeup, even my metal laundry hamper, was warped. my clothes were ripped (my favourite articles,anyway), my laundry bin (it was three bag things that are held up by a metal pole frame) was completely taken apart and warped. metal everywhere,and all over the apartment.  he broke the only laundry basket we had, tore it into hard plastic shreds, and the bed was flipped over. I cleaned up what I could, turned my phone off,and just bawled my eyes out in the baby room. Im not sure when I fell asleep, but I was teary when I woke up for work the next day. 

on many other occasions, when I've tried to protect myself from his rage and anger, i would run to the nursery and lock the door behind me. We have rips in the wood from him trying to break it in and hurt me.  He has raped me numerous times, forcing me to take it ‘in the ass’ as I'm screaming for no and to get off of me.  Lauren passed away on October 10th, 2016. She was in a car accident with her boyfriend and sister.  I know she would not be proud of me still being here with him, but i now she's happy that I am raising my daughter to be a strong little girl. May she rest in complete peace, I love you. 

I have to get off this computer now, he's demanding i get off. I have a lot more to tell,I promise, I need to get this out of my mind and on paper so i can move on. 

I'm still with him, but these are my last days. His mother is threatening to evict me by not paying rent (i don't have any money, and i never made enough to pay half plus my bus passes and groceries and hydro. I've had to change phone companies 6+ times because they (his mother and him) take all my money and then cry that they don't have enough and want more. did i mention, he has been a no-show at work for the past 3 shifts? did i mention that while I was throwing up from the pregnancy, he screamed and told me to ‘shut the fuck up.’ when i was diagnosed with hyperemesis gavidarum? please help me. because i can't help myself.  and i really really want the help.