#just that i do truly need to watch what i eat cus there's no limit on my consumption

[lafortis]

hunger is generally a sign that you need more food, bud.

I broadly agree but am maintaining a mild caloric deficit rn (very carefully, as in carefully mild not obsessively), and for me personally I feel I need it, cus my previous mode of consumption was "eat literally everything I could", since I work at a banquet hall and the food is free and delicious. I'm just tryna get to a place I'm happy with, and mostly just be conscientious of what I'm eating, but initially that comes with hunger since I'm not literally going for a full three course meal every time I feel like it

[shireness-says]

Merry Christmas to All

Summary:  Christmas has become An Event in the Swan-Jones household. ~2.2K. Rated G. Also on AO3.

A/N: Here, have another wildly unseasonal piece, transferred from AO3 in honor of the Fandom Crescendo! Pretty much no plot - just a lot of fluffy family feels. At Christmas. What more could you want? Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

“Psst.”

The little whisper isn’t really a shock. Over the past couple years, Killian has grown very accustomed to the noise. In reality, he’s been only dozing for perhaps the past twenty minutes, enjoying a few more minutes in the sole company of his lovely wife before the chaos the day will undoubtedly bring. However, his morning visitor doesn’t need to know that he would have been up in the next half hour, regardless. Half the fun – for both of them – is pretending to still be asleep.

“Psst. Papa. Papa, wake up.”

Even after over four and a half years, the title still brings a smile to his face, and he can’t help but turn his head to see blue eyes and bouncing energy.

It had been a bit of a wait to be blessed with their own child, but Amelia Alice Jones is worth every moment. She’s a happy, cheerful child, curious about absolutely everything, with his eyes and hair in a red-brown shade Killian thought only existed in storybooks. In short, she’s perfect.

Emma’s still sleeping – it had been a bit of a long night in the Swan-Jones household – but thankfully, Amelia has the good common sense to whisper. Brilliant little lass. “Papa, you’ve got to get up, it’s Christmas!”

As if he could forget.

Christmas has been a bit of an event ever since he and Emma got married. Things had properly settled down in Storybrooke not long after their nuptials – the occasional disturbance at most, no more of this ‘villian of the week’ nonsense – and Christmas had been one of the first holidays their little family had cause to celebrate. Emma and Henry had gone all out to introduce him to the holiday, with peppermint everything and eggnog and weeks of Christmas movie marathons, a fire roaring in the fireplace and a beautifully decorated tree in the corner. Christmas morning, Henry and Emma had teamed up to jump on him, screeching about Christmas, so his wakeup call this morning is sedate in comparison. All the same, he treasures the memories of that first holiday.

Subsequent holidays had been somewhat tamer – always with a family lunch at the Nolan’s farmhouse, some years spending the morning with Henry, some years not. After Henry had embarked on his quest to find his own story, holidays were somewhat sadder, Emma (okay, Killian too) nostalgic for the afternoons curled up on the couch with Henry, watching the snow fall. Their ever-unsuccessful efforts to start their own family only added to the vague melancholy, especially as Emma’s parents continued to reproduce like rabbits – Emma now the proud older sister to four siblings. Thankfully, by the time Regina joined Henry, they were finally expecting a little one of their own, the excitement and preparations somewhat tempering any sorrow Emma might have felt about losing her friend and confidant. Regina and Emma may have had a rough start, but the two women not only reached an understanding, but developed a close friendship over the years.

Christmas may have always been special, but everything changes when Amelia arrives. She’s a mere seven months old that first Christmas, not nearly old enough to remember anything, but Killian and Emma act like a pair of fools, buying her far more toys than any infant more interested in the paper ever needs. Last year was the first Christmas they knew she might actually remember, and so they had gone all out all over again. Hopefully, Amelia will have lovely memories of making cookies and ice skating and opening presents with Mama and Papa that will last her for years.

Transported back to the present by an insistent tug on his sleeve, he flashes a grin at his daughter and swings his legs out of bed, careful not to wake Emma. Resting his stump on Amelia’s back, he motions for her to keep quiet as they make their way out into the hallway and shut the door again.

“Let’s let Mama sleep a bit longer, okay darling?”

She nods, very serious. Oh, his precious little lass.

“Shall we make her some breakfast for when she wakes up?”

Well, that gets her attention, as Amelia scampers for the stairs in an auburn blur of flying curls, making him chuckle.

He’ll meet her in the kitchen soon enough – he’s got another stop to make first.

———

Killian practically inches open the door to the small, green corner room before noticing its inhabitant is already awake, if still quiet.

After so much struggle to conceive Amelia, Killian and Emma had assumed their daughter would be the only child they’d raise from birth, the only sibling Henry would have. But four and a half years and a very careless Valentine’s Day later, he and Emma became parents again – this time to a little boy, their little Dash. Well, Dashiell. Dashiell Liam. A tiny, precious bundle now a full nine weeks old.

It’s been a little bit of an adjustment period with Dash, in the best of ways. Amelia had been a whirlwind since the day she was born – loud and determined to be the center of attention, and Gods help the man or woman who didn’t grant her their full and prompt attention. Dash, in contrast, is a quieter little lad – Amelia’s piercing wails traded for his less noisy whimpers, like he’s set on being polite or some such idea. Of course, with the full practice of a father to now two young children, Killian wakes to any noise from the baby monitor anyhow, as does Emma. He’d forgotten, truly, how tricky sleeping with a newborn is, now that Amelia (mostly) sleeps through the night, but now he’s up again every few hours because Dash is hungry or needs a change or just wants a little company.

Right now, though, Dash seems perfectly happy just to pedal his arms and legs in his seasonal, candy striped onesie, distracted by the colorful mobile above his bassinet. Soon enough, though, as Killian bends over the crib to scoop his little lad up, he’s treated to a genuine smile from Dash as he sees his Papa. The smiles only started last week – an early Christmas gift, Emma had told Killian – and Killian is still reveling in every toothless grin.

“Hello, laddie, are you ready for Christmas?”

Dash just continues to smile. He’ll take that as a yes.

“Well I think your big sister is downstairs, ready to make Mama a proper feast. Shall we go see her?”

He gets a happy sounding gurgle and grab for his nose in response. Another yes, surely.

“Alright, let’s go see sissy.”

Sure enough, Amelia has pulled out half the refrigerator to cook. Those frozen biscuits she likes so much, bacon, a nearly empty bag of hash browns (he thinks there’s another in the fridge – otherwise he may be dealing with a very disappointed pre-schooler), the box of frozen waffles, a can of cinnamon rolls… the eggs are still in the fridge, but Killian suspects that’s only because his daughter still couldn’t reach them, even with her little kitchen stool. He chuckles at her haul, before quickly moving in to limit her picks.

“I know you’re excited, little love, but we can’t eat all of this. Pick only a few things, please.”

She settles for hash browns, biscuits, and bacon, happily putting the rest back into the fridge as Killian settles Dash into the baby swing he’s only just grown into.

By the time Emma sleepily stumbles down the stairs, yawning all the while, breakfast is almost ready – the bacon already out of the microwave, the hash browns just flipped over, and the biscuits coming out of the oven in the next few minutes. She presses a quick kiss to his lips as Amelia barrels over, shrieking at the top of her lungs, “Merry Christmas, Mama!”

“Merry Christmas, Duckling!” Emma cheers back, before leaning over to whisper in his ear. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

He barely has a chance to kiss her again before she’s moving to the swing, where Dash has perked up again at hearing his mother’s voice. Killian is well aware that this may be their last relatively quiet moment of the day before chaos descends, but he almost doesn’t care. Christmas is always an event, but this year will be particularly special, since it’s the first Henry – and his family – will spend with them since his return from his time cursed in Washington.

Emma had been ecstatic at the return of her son – though how many of those tears were the result of hormones is anyone’s guess. Killian had been smacked for even suggesting it. Regardless, Henry is thrilled with his siblings, Emma is besotted with Lucy (“God, Killian, I’m way too young to be grandmother to a kid that old. Is this how my mother feels?”), and everyone even admits that it’s nice to have Regina back in town. Granted, it’s still a relief that the other him elected to stay behind in Hyperion Heights, endeavoring to bring order to a town only newly aware of their formerly cursed state. Killian isn’t sure he’s nearly awake enough these past days to have been able to keep track of conversation had there been two Killians running around.

Killian may be looking forward to a holiday with his stepson, but it’s Amelia who’s truly thrilled. She’s come up with all kinds of plans, seemingly determined to fit an entire year’s worth of activities into a single day. To his amusement, she’s detailing all her plans of what she and Henry and Ella and Lucy are going to do for what must be the tenth time to Emma. Thank the gods that Henry’s wife and daughter are just as good of sports and Henry is.

“…and then, after the snowball fight, we’ll have hot chocolate, and Grandma can help us make cookies, and maybe then you and Auntie Regina can make an ice rink! And then I wanna show Lucy Rudolph cus she’s never seen it, Henry says…” She’s barely taken a bite in her excitement, and while part of him wants to just sit and listen to her babble on, Killian is still very well aware of the absurd schedule his mother-in-law will undoubtedly demand they stick to religiously. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and while they may have opened all the gifts last night, he’s still got something up his sleeve.

“Melly, darling, if you hurry up and eat your breakfast, I think I might have seem something in your stocking…”

Emma and he had decided that first Christmas with Amelia that they were going to try not to play up the Santa Claus thing. Emma doesn’t have particularly fond memories of the practice, and with their luck, Santa would turn out to be real, and some kind of villain who’d turn up in the future to terrorize the town. No, better just to leave a few candies and small things in the stockings, and make a big deal out of all the family traditions instead.

Still, the promise of stocking gifts is enough to get Amelia gobbling down her breakfast and bouncing in her seat as she’s now forced to wait for her parents to finish. When they’re finally done, Killian is practically dragged into the living room by his small daughter, leaving a chuckling Emma to gather up Dash and meet them by the tree.

As Amelia tears into her stocking – just some candy from them and a couple of ornaments for the small tree in her room – Emma leans into his side with the baby, allowing him to drape his arm around her shoulders. “Thank you for letting me sleep,” she murmurs, and he smiles back at her.

“Of course, love, you deserved a little extra time.”

“All the same… thanks. I think we forgot how tiring the first few weeks are. Can that be my Christmas gift this year? An extra hour of sleep for the next few days? Can someone set that up? Oh! Maybe Mom and Dad will babysit!”

Truthfully, Killian could go for an afternoon to themselves as well, albeit perhaps with some extra activities. He’s a father twice over – he knows what the six-week checkup meant, even if they haven’t been able to act on it yet. And then sleep. Several hours of sleep. Probably not all night, since the Charmings have four kids under nine in the house and Snow’s been talking about another, but Gods above, even just an afternoon of uninterrupted sleep would be a dream come true.

He presses a kiss to her forehead and holds a little tighter before replying. “Aye, Swan, that would be lovely. Perhaps they’ll offer today when we go over.”

Across the room, Amelia is giddy with her haul. “Look, Papa, it’s a little pirate ship for my tree! Like the Jolly, Papa!”

Soon enough, they’ll have to leave, have to drive to the Nolan farmhouse before Snow blows some sort of Christmas stress induced gasket. But for now, he’s content to snuggle with his wife and son on the couch as his daughter tells them in great detail about each and every thing she’s found in her stocking.

Merry Christmas, one and all.

[soulmatesjjp]

70 Questions

Thank you @pinkhoodiemark for tagging me in this. I usually get so lazy to do challenges and this one was soooooo long but it’s kinda nice to reflect on some of these ☺️ also I’m pretty sure Emili has tagged me in at least one other challenge before and I wanna fulfill at least one thing she tags me in ✨

this is pretty long so if you really wanna get to know me you can read more under the cut

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? it’s 50/50 we have our good moments and our very bad moments but sadly, even tho I’m an adult now, things haven’t changed.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? my pets are pretty much the only ones I’m comfortable saying ‘i love you’ to. I say it to my cat Cloud the most.

3. do you regret anything?

Yes, lots of personal things. Lately I regret my major and not putting more effort in college.

4. are you insecure?

Like everyone I have insecurities but I try not to dwell on them or let them affect me cus I know that they’re insignificant and not worth it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think of them from time to time.

5. what’s your relationship status?

Very single, mostly because I’m not comfortable opening up to people and I’m still kinda struggling with my ‘identity’

6. how do you want to die? the most painless way possible? i don’t...really think about how i wanna die tbh

7. what did you last eat? some store bought chocolate cake I’ve been eating almost everyday 😬 I really need to stop, it’s not healthy

8. played any sports? no, never. i am very very unathletic. idk how i ever managed to run those 12 min miles in high school

9. do you bite your nails? not now but i did a lot as a little kid

10. when was your last physical fight? i’m not much of a fighter but most likely it was a fight with my sister or maybe my mom (don’t worry it wasn’t too rough) years ago

11. do you like someone?

define ‘like’

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

i don’t think so, i think maybe 36 hours would be my limit

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? at the moment no, though I usually don’t feel hate towards people

14. do you miss someone?

i miss the company of someones

15. have any pets?

i have two cats, Maxx (an old lady) and Cloud (my soon to be 3 year old bby) and my sister has a yorkie Oakley (a terrorizer who won’t leave me alone) but since she’s hardly ever home and I’m always taking care of him he’s practically mine

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? i feel like I probably sound like a robot throughout all this, sorry I can’t express emotion unless it’s in all caps

17. ever made out in the bathroom? nope 

18. are you scared of spiders? regular daddy long legs are fine but anything bigger than that get it away from me

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I want to say yes because there are things I really really regret that especially affect other ppl but I feel like what’s in the past is in the past and I probably shouldn’t mess with it

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? no comment

21. what are your plans for this weekend? no plans!! my life is so boring since a bunch of my friends joined the military and moved away and some of my college friends have moved on with their life and I hardly see them anymore 😭 (i still have friends they’re just as boring as me)

22. do you want to have kids? how many? not really, i kinda fear having a tiny human growing inside me and giving birth to it. i think if i ever were to have children I’d rather adopt but even that sounds like a big commitment I might never be ready for

23. do you have piercings? how many? my ears have been pierced since I was a baby and I haven’t worn earrings in over 10 years but the holes never filled in

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? I was always good at english cus I was good at reading and bullshitting essays

25. do you miss anyone from your past? man, ok there was this one guy/friend who I always clicked with and we were kinda on and off for years but never dated and I haven’t seen him in a few years and I’ve kinda moved on but I still think about him cus we live in the same town and he has a really common face so so many guys I see look like him

26. what are you craving right now? guidance? an epiphany? motivation?

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? maybe? I don’t know I would really say I broke their heart maybe not that severe...it wasn’t my fault ok I never lead anyone on

28. have you ever been cheated on? Nope.

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? nope.

30. what’s irritating you right now? the fact that I finally found an installation of photoshop that works but I can’t download it because apple sucks and won’t let me download apps unless it’s from the apple store/one of their developers!!!! 😤😤😤 I refuse to pay a monthly fee for photoshop that’s ridiculous I’m not made of money.

31. does somebody love you? 2 of my pets love me for sure

32. what is your favourite color? Blue

33. do you have trust issues? Probably I don’t fully trust people easily but I’m still friendly with them

34. who/what was your last dream about? I honestly don’t remember I wish I did

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? oh man I cried at work on Valentine’s Day cus we were unexpectedly crazy busy (you can’t even understand how busy) and it was just really stressful for me cus it was only me and another girl handling customer service and she got to leave early (she was a champ idk how she kept a smile on her face even when she left) and there was this especially rude lady I was on the phone with who just wouldn’t stop talking and pretty much blaming me so when the call ended I ducked down behind the counter and cried a little from all the stress (that lady was just the final straw) and I’m sure most if not all my co-workers saw

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I think so cus I don’t really hold grudges I’m too soft that way, but no one’s ever fucked up so bad they really needed a second chance with me

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? for me it’s easier to forgive cus like I said I can’t hold grudges for longer than a day.

38. is this year the best year of your life? definitely not I need to figure lots of things out and do some stuff to get my life on track

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? i’m pretty sure I kissed dumb boys when I was a little kid but after that I think I was 18

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

hell no

51. favourite food?

i love all kinds of food: tacos, tortas, french fries, birria, fishcake, bulgogi, bulgogi fries, actual good ramen. I can’t name just one fave

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? I used to think that saying was so stupid but lately the way I’ve seen some things happen I’m starting to believe a little in fate

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched Brooklyn nine nine

54. is cheating ever okay? NO NEVER, unless you’re cheating on some dumb high school quiz I mean it’s not really ok but I won’t judge you

55. are you mean? I think I can definitely be both nice and an asshole to the same people and I’m sorry...

56. how many people have you fist fought? my siblings when I was a kid so 2

57. do you believe in true love? i believe most of us might never get to experience it but there are a lucky few who get to feel it

58. favourite weather? california autumn/winter cus it’s cold but not really freezing

59. do you like the snow? no it’s cold and wet, no thanks

60. do you wanna get married? eh not really

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? asdfgh I don’t think I’d like any nickname like that

62. what makes you happy? good food, good company, cuddling with my pets, casually hanging out with my friends, and both got7 and monsta x especially their variety shows

63. would you change your name?

never, I like my name  

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

I can’t even remember the last person I kissed so idk

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Try to politely reject them and pretend it never happened so we can continue being friends. Maybe keep my distance from him to give him time to get over it but make sure he knows we’re still friends. And maybe not hang out with him one on one for a while.

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah, most of my friends are guys and I can be myself around them but I don’t tell them everything about me

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my brother

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I don’t remember but it must have been during one of the occasions I was drunk and in college and opened up to one of my friends and we probably got really personal.

69. do you believe in soulmates? JJP ARE SOULMATES!!! they don’t have to ever get together but you can’t learn about their history and tell me they’re not soulmates (at least platonically) but honestly I strongly believe a strong force like fate brought all of got7 from 4 different countries together. So many trainees get switched around from company to company and either never debut or it takes them 7+ years but with GOT7 they debuted under their first company and their average training period lasted around 3 years. BamBam almost didn’t debut with them because JYP thought he was too young until YG’s show did an episode at JYPE. Youngjae would have never debuted if he didn’t practice and practice and continue auditioning for JYP. I could go on and on but in the end I truly believe jjp are soulmates and got7 are soulmates.

70. is there anyone you would die for? um idk maybe my family and pets but don’t hold me to that

I feel like a lot of my mutuals aren’t really on tumblr any more :// so I’ll tag a few who are still active @katbeom @yubgam @husbandsjjp (I haven’t seen you around in a while either!!)