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melrodrigo · 7 months

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Tardy, part 11

Tara Carpenter x Fem Reader

Summary: It’s time for you to face Ghostface head on.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Pretty gnarly violence, Tara being protective and kinda batshit crazy, betrayals left and right

A/N: lol

Shit.

When you open your eyes and see nothing but a hot blinding light, you think you might've died and gone to heaven.

"God?" You whisper, blinking slowly.

It was in fact, not god, you find out once your eyes properly adjust.

You're stuck in a tiny compartment; so small you think you might suffocate. The walls are painted a shade of obsidian black that makes you feel like you're stuck in a black hole. Only one single flickering lightbulb grants you sight.

Your arms are sore; so sore, and it only intensifies when you try and pull them up from the weird position they're in.

Huh, I can't move my arms.

You tug at the rope-like fabric of material that's holding your hands together. It doesn't budge in the slightest. Panic rises like wildfire in you.

You breathe deep. Try to gather your wits and make sense of anything that is possibly going on.

"Get it together." You remind yourself.

You blink once.

Feeling a little more clear, you realize that you're strapped tight to a chair, back pressed uncomfortably close to the ridges.

Where am I?

There's no time to find the answer to that question since the wall is moving- oh it's a door-, and Ghostface appears right in front of you, smiling.

Well, you don't really know if he's smiling. But the way he's moving, all confident and cocky, makes you think you're not too far off.

It hits you all at once. Now that you're fully conscious, you can feel everything.

One inhale and your lungs feel like they're on fire. Breathing is hard.

You groan, the pain all too overwhelming for your brain to work properly. It would be embarrassing how loud you were if you cared in the least.

You can only seem to think of one thing.

"Where is she?" You ask, with all the confidence of someone in the position of interrogating Ghostface.

Tara. God, what did they do to Tara?

“Of course, your first words are about her." Ghostface spits, still using that goddamned voice modulator.

“Where is she?” You spit, trying your very best to look intimidating.

It's not very convincing when you're heaving and gasping like a fish out of water.

"Would you believe me if I said she was already dead?" Ghostface drawls, tracing their knife along your jawline, pressing just enough for you to feel it.

You scoff.

"Right...you'd kill one of your beloved 'main characters' before the finale." You say, sure you've read him to filth.

"But, this is the ending. Don't you see?" He continues to tease, unbothered by your last comment.

You huff, but you feel your heart picking up speed slightly.

What if...he was telling the truth?

A shrill scream sounds throughout the theater, and you feel your blood run cold as you recognize exactly who it is.

"Tara." You breathe, half terrified and half relieved she's still alive.

"Tara!" You yell, as loud as your lungs are willing to let you.

Tara doesn't reply. What you do get is a smack to the head and an elbow to the jaw.

"Be quiet." Ghostface hisses, and you can almost swear he sounds sort of scared.

"Be quiet or I'm going to get my ass whooped." He mumbles, and you pull back as far as you can, eyebrows raised.

You bite back the need to tell him you definitely don't care if he gets in trouble or not, not wanting to get slapped in the face a billion more times.

"Come on." He grumbles, gripping the back of the chair and lifting it up swiftly.

The feeling of your feet dangling off the chair reminds you of one of your favorite memories.

"Mint ice cream sucks," Tara tells you definitively.

You squint your eyebrows at her and bring up a hand to your heart like she's just stabbed you.

She's sitting with her ice cream in hand, a good distance away from you. You guys peer down at all the university students walking around, now the size of ants; trying to point out people you guys recognize.

It was your own little secret spot. Tara could never really go study outside uni, since her sister was always up her ass about traveling unknown spaces. You never asked her why, pure sister protectiveness, you guessed.

A couple of weeks into knowing Tara, she'd brought you up to this mini garden haven of hers, all shy and smiley.

She's sitting now and she's looking so pretty with her big brown eyes and freckles out for display. They shine bright today, sunshine illuminating her face and making everything just pop the slightest bit more.

You get a wicked idea, and before you can stop yourself, scoot yourself closer and place your arm around her.

Tara cocks an eyebrow at you, but before she can speak a word, you start tickling her sides.

"Stop!" Tara squeals. Her face turning a bright pink comically fast.

You're careful not to tickle her too hard, or else you think she might just slide off the ledge and fall right here.

You're close now, closer than you should be. Tension swims in the air. You lean down to whisper into her ear.

"That's what you get for saying mint sucks." You huff, smirking a little as she shudders from the feeling of your breath fanning her ear.

When you pull back and look into her eyes, you're surprised to see them wide and dilated. She has a weird expression her face, like she's fighting something in herself.

You lean in slowly, stuck in a trace with the way she's looking at you.

She grips your shirt and pulls you in further, your noses brushing. And then suddenly, like she's just snapped out of her daze, she sits up abruptly.

She laughs nervously, letting go of your shirt.

"I think Sam's calling me. I'll see you tomorrow. Same time?" She's saying, but she's not even giving you a second to answer before she's sprinting away.

Despite the sort of failed kiss, you chuckle a little. You feel the blush creep up to the tips of your ears.

The day your crush on Tara Carpenter officially started.

It's a bad time to start daydreaming, but you figure if you're going to die right now, it wouldn't be so bad to think of the love of your life while you go.

The sound of Tara's voice brings you back to life.

"YN!" She gasps, from somewhere behind you. You're still getting dragged, hair stuck to your forehead, eyes blurred.

You try your best to blink everything back to focus.

She's standing on the platform slightly below you, beside Sam, looking relieved. There's a brick in her hand.

You try and say her name but all that comes out is a painful groan. Everything feels heavy. Your shirt is painted red where your stomach wound is, and you figure you must've ripped the stitches.

There's another Ghostface beside you, the two of them bracketing you on either side.

Not that you would have the energy to up and escape anyway.

"Tara..." Sam warns, eyeing her sister like she knows what she's about to do.

Tara rushes forward, ignoring Sam's protest, trying to get to you. To hold you in her arms, to press her hands against your wound, to kiss it better; to do anything.

The Ghostface to your right swings their knife as soon as she comes into the vicinity, and slices the skin above Tara's collarbone easily. She gasps from the jab. Red liquid seeps out immediately.

You feel the Ghostface to your left tense, a mixture of a gasp and a yell stuck together.

"Anika wait-!" The Ghostface is saying, the name slipping out as easy as second nature.

Everybody stills.

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

The other Ghostface whirls around, shoulders tight.

Sam tugs Tara back quietly, looking between the two Ghostfaces. Your head is swimming.

"What did you say?" Ghostface- supposedly Anika, says.

"What the fuck." You manage to spit out, but it goes unheard, everyone being laser-focused on the scene unfolding right in front of them.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. It's just, I thought you were going to kill Tara. I couldn't let you do that." The other Ghostface reasons, albeit unconvincingly. He stumbles over his words, in a tone that's all too familiar to you.

"Ethan?" You hesitate, tears brimming in your eyes.

The Ghostface that's hovering above you drops down to your ear level, whispering softly.

"Well, aren't you just a smart little thing?" And promptly slides off that wretched Ghostface mask, and even though you knew, you have to gasp at who you see.

Anika.

Sweet sweet Anika.

"Just take it off. It's not like they don't already know." Anika tells Ethan, an order more than anything.

You tilt your head just enough to see Ethan take off his mask, grinning nervously.

"What the fuck?" You hear Tara say, but it sounds so far away.

"But, but how-" Sam starts, pointing at Ethan, her face as pale as a ghost.

He looks good, healthy. More alive than you've ever seen him. There's a glint in his eye you've never seen before.

"I'm alive. Surprise!" He grins, flashing the four of you a pearly white smile.

I must be dreaming.

You squeeze your eyes shut. He's still standing there when you open them again. Shit.

"But I watched you die, I felt the blood. You-you died in my arms. I saw the ambulance pick you up." You splutter, voice cracking unevenly.

"You know...some fake blood and a couple of acting classes can do wonders. You guys really are not good at picking up on hints." Anika sing songs, waving her dagger in the air.

"Seriously...we even had to send you a note." She continues, scrunching her nose in disgust.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you so hell-bent on destroying us?" Sam asks, fire in her eyes. She looks scary. Messing with Sam was one thing, but messing with her sister? You have a feeling they'll be dead in minutes.

Anika sighs dramatically, putting a hand up to her chin and feigning thought.

"Gosh. Where do I even start? Let's set the scene: it's 1996. There's been two mysterious murders in the small town of Woodsboro, leaving everyone in fright." She recounts, words slipping out of her mouth with ease like she's rehearsed them a million times.

Sam rolls her eyes, fed up with this godforsaken story that seems to follow her anywhere.

"Akio Kayoko however, lives happily, because finally his two bullies Billy and Stu aren't on his ass anymore. They have more important things to worry about."

Sam cuts in before Anika goes any further.

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is all because what, your dad couldn't handle a couple wedgies? Are you a little daddy's girl?" She says, fed up.

Anika shoots her an icy glare, but continues.

"You don't even know what you're talking about." Anika tells her, voice lowering to soft and almost sorrowful.

"Poor dad, he just had to go to that party. Do you know what happens to a person when they go through something traumatic? It changes them. He came out the only bystander that survived, but not without a scarred face and a scarred soul to show for it." She murmurs. She turns suddenly, a new pep in her mannerisms.

"Your father," she points at Sam accusingly, "and your father," she points her knife at you, "fucked my dad up royally. He got diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar disorder from it. And for what?" She seethes.

"Your guys' fathers are just racist assholes. You deserve everything that's coming to you, don't you even doubt it for a second!" She sneers, with so much venom and power that you can't help but agree.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, try to explain that you aren't your dad, but Anika beats you to it.

"Did you know he left me? I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was 6." She tells you, voice getting softer. Your heart tugs for her.

She straightens up, as if just realizing where she was, and her icy facade once again builds up.

"Anywho, motive enough for you Sam?" She tilts her head up, eyes bright.

Sam stands scarily still, but you can see the concern swimming in her eyes.

Ethan's standing wide-eyed like this is all new information to him.

"It really wasn't that hard getting you two to meet. All I had to do was invite Tara to that party and just give YN a little bump so you two would talk." Anika continues, and you furrow your eyebrows. Party? You met Tara at a party?

Your eyes dart to Tara and she's looking at you a little solemnly, and suddenly it hits you like a truck. Memories that have never been unlocked before replay in your mind now. The angel from that party.

That was Tara.

"After that, everything just fell into place. You guys are one pathetic predictable group of people." Ethan pipes up.

"The friendship, the night you got stabbed, it was all planned. I mean, why do you think I took you back to the apartment? For Anika to "stitch you up?" He asks excitedly, looking at Anika for approval to speak further. She gives him an annoyed nod.

"And guess what the best part is," He giggled midway, but gains his composure again. "Every time she came to fix you up, she actually poisoned the wound. Never too much that you would notice- but enough to guarantee your death today. It's infected." He cheers, like he hasn't just told you you're going to die.

"Jesus, you never told me how bad it was," Tara says, making your eyes dart back to hers, trying to catch her gaze to inadvertently say your sorry, but she doesn't meet your eyes.

"I didn't want you to worry." You sigh.

Ethan makes a noise of disgust. He looks at you with scrunched eyebrows, a little crinkle of his nose betraying his chill facade. His gaze shifts to Tara, and you can't help but notice his voice move just a pitch higher.

"Poor Tara. Caught in this sick twisted web between your sister and your girlfriend. You didn't even do anything wrong right, baby? Don't worry...nothing's going to happen to you. I've made sure of that." He tells her, and it hits you all at once.

"Baby? What are you talking about? " Tara asks, cocking her head to the side.

"I love you, Tara. I did all of this just for you. When the both of them are dead, you and I can get together. Finally." He says, between deep breaths.

You don't know how you never saw it before. Memories of the prior weeks flash in front of your eyes.

His heart eyes for your girlfriend every time the group would have a movie night and you two would cuddle, the weird lingering around the both of you whenever you'd go out.

You just figured he really liked your company.

"You're out of your mind you sick fuck. Tara would never date you, even if you were the last person on earth." Is what Sam says, and despite the consequences of what's sure to come, your heart sings.

Last person on earth.

Ethan stutters, like he never thought of the possibility that she would reject him. You see tears forming immediately, frown apparent. He's trying to keep it together- you can tell.

He leans back slightly, dejected. His eyes cloud with something you can only describe as hatred, and for a scary moment, you think he seriously might jump at Tara.

However, he doesn't get the time to act on his thoughts, because in less than a blink of an eye Anika's moving over and stabbing him in the neck.

"Agh!" He grunts. A trickle of blood runs down the side of his mouth, then it bursts. So, so much thick crimson liquid gurgles out.

Anika stands behind him, sliding her knife out his back, wiping the blood clean.

"Gosh, what a bore he was, right? True love this true love that. I couldn't listen to that shit any longer." She gags, leaning over to stick her tongue out at Ethan's lifeless face. She stabs him again in the jaw for good measure.

She looks back at the three of you, who are clearly aghast.

"Gotta make sure he's dead right?" She smiles, and it finally gets through to you that she's lost it. Whoever you thought you knew, that person never existed.

No one answers her as she stands up.

You turn stoney-faced as you look up at her. "So what's the plan Anika? How are you gonna get away with this?"

She turns around, rolling her eyes. Before you know it, she's advancing towards you, knife raised. She jabs lightly at your wound. Teases her knife against your skin. You really wish people would stop picking that specific part to hurt you.

"Do we really need to go over this again? Kill you guys blah blah blah, find Mindy and kill her, say that you and Sam went crazy like their fathers. Really, it's not hard to understand." Anika continues, shuffling her feet as she speaks like she's bored.

Time is ticking before she snaps and just decides to kill you, you know it. Not to mention the fact that you were actively dying.

"What do you really want from us? Just name your price now, and we'll- we'll get it. Just let her go." Tara splutters, almost begging.

Anika stomps her feet with the energy of a three year olds tantrum, "I want revenge! Have I not made that clear enough?" she basically yells.

Sam moves forward slowly, like a wildlife expert moving towards a wild beast.

"Look I'm sure we can come to an agreement about something-" She's saying, but Anika rolls her eyes once again and advances lazily towards you.

Nothing happens in slo-mo like the movies, you can barely register her face before she's plunging the dagger deep into the other side of your lower stomach. You can feel it pierce it's way through your whole body.

You hear a scream but it sounds a million miles away. You gag, moving your head to the side to try and puke, but nothing comes out. You try to groan in frustration but it makes your skin sting everywhere that you stop. You just stop for a moment.

Tara's fully sobbing now, you think. You can't really tell.

All hell breaks loose. Sam breaks out into a sprint at Anika, effectively knocking her down till both of them are tumbling on the floor.

You see flashes of black and gray and blood spurting from someone.

"Stay with me." You hear someone say, and try with everything in you to blink back everything into focus. It's Tara.

Her mascara is everywhere. Black stripes of tears and makeup streak down her pretty face, and you feel the urge even now to bring your hand up and wipe the tears away.

You try and tell her to stop crying but the words die in your mouth. What feels like fire engulfs your lungs.

"Stay with me. I'll be right back." She whispers, pressing a kiss to your chapped lips.

You search your mind desperately for a way out of this mess, a solution, but everything goes blank. Your ears ring, eyes rolling to the back of your head in pain.

With everything you have in you, you squeeze Tara's hand one last time, and tell her to take the knife currently lodged in you out.

Tara's eyes darken, the most cloudy you've ever seen them.

"No, no. I couldn't do that." She says, another round of tears falling down her cheeks. She shakes her head adamantly, but you shush her.

"Please. For me." You manage to get out, then with the utmost acceptance, you let yourself go.

Tara doesn't remember much of what happened after that. She remembers sobbing, she remembers someone screaming, but she can't be too sure if it's her or someone else. She remembers the feeling of your fingers loosening their grip on her hand, and she remembers seeing red.

With no where else to channel her emotions, and with your words engraved in her mind, she turns on Anika.

She hurries over to where she's still wrestling with Sam, expression tight, and grabs the first thing she can find in this shithole of a theater.

Your father's wooden box.

She remembers faintly telling Sam to fuck off, and smashing the box over Anika's head. Then picking it up and doing the same thing again. And again, and again. She remembers taking the heel of her shoes and smashing it to Anika's nose, breaking it in one clean hit.

She remembers going back to you, your white as paper skin, and yanking the knife out of you.

And the final thing she remembers is screaming at Anika while she buries the knife in and out of the girl’s body, everywhere, again and again.

#tardy #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday addams x reader #melrodrigo #jenna ortega #mine

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insuke69 · 1 year

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Miles!42 headcanons p2

Part 2 because 2 ppl asked and have sm thoughts of this boy HSJKS

Warnings: No warnings except possesive/jealous?? (I feel like hes a lil toxic, red flag sometimes but red is my fav color <3)

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-He's good with kids but would secretly try to teach a kid curse words

-Is almost always texting you when you two aren't physically together, he's had his phone taken in class so many times because of it.

-He apologizes with flowers, necklaces, Food, make-up making out occaisionally

-Listens to your music taste and definitely has recommended good songs

-He will NEVER tie his shoe laces, just for no reason whatsoever and if you tell him to tie them he'd ask you to do it.

-STALKS YOUR INSTAGRAM NON-STOP. when yall first got together he liked all your posts of the last month

-Would deadass beat anyone who trys grabbing you in any intimate way, almost killed a dude that slapped your ass in the street in public. (Mostly cause one, without consent is a no-no, 2 was disrespectful, 3 only he is allowed to touch your ass smh)

-Thinks you're hot when upset/when y'all argue, hate makeout seshes go hard

-ARGUE-FUCKING-ING. He will piss you off sometimes so he can watch you storm out and a few hours later text him to come over, scenario;

You two were arguing about a post, an instagram post Miles made. It was a picture of you but you didn't know he took it, in the image you were chomping on a big ass burger and had ketchup and some cheese on the corner of your mouth. To Miles it was adorable but to you it was embarrassing, you storm out to your house, pissed, the one moment you were dirty because of food Miles took a picture and POSTED it. You check the Picture again as you lay on your stomach on your bed over a pillow to lay comfortably, remembering the moment; Miles made a stupid joke as you took a bite which made you almost choke as you turned your head to cough, smudging the corner of your moth a bit. Damn, he was so fun.. Missing him already you decide to watch a movie, him never leaving your mind so you just text him once the 2 hour movie was finished.

"Come over pls"

"Be there in 20"

"ily"

-loves movies, If y'all go on a movie theater date he gets tickets in the back, hand over yours the whole time.

+ If the movie ends up sucking y'all just make out in the theater and making jokes about the lines, acting, etc.

-He hates dark chocolate with a passion, deadass HATES it for whatever reason (he claims its too bitter.)

-If you have a guy bsf Miles would really have to get to know the guy and need 24/4 notifications about you and the guy bsf. If you confront him about being jealous or something he'd say anything along the lines of "You don't know the mind of a guy, You may not want anything but he does." and 9/10 he was right.

-DEBATING WITH HIM SUCKS this man will immediately gaslight sm shit that'd make you question life itself. (yet half the time he is talking out of his ass.)

-He is atheist 100% (Fact over faith + lost most of his faith when his dad died :(.)

-He doesn't like white girls, more into latinas/black girlies. (Idc if you're white, its more likely he is more into girls he can semi-relate to in a way.)

___________________________________________________________

Low-key wanna make scenarios so jst reply what yall want :D

#across the spiderverse #spider man miles morales #miles morales headcanons #42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles earth 42 #earth 42 miles x you

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samstclair · 3 months

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Joel Miller's Survivor

Joel Miller X Reader

Anonymous Request

"Hey Sam! Hope you're still alive. You've been like ghost, and I'm getting worried about my request not being fulfilled, AND your health, of course or whatever! Yeah so can you get to it already? Joel X reader, simple. Can you make Y/N be like traveling with them or some shit? I don't know. But do your thing when you've crawled out of your hole!"

Word Count: long bro

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As you lied in your bed, rotting (you have not gotten up in the three hours you've been awake [so now it's almost 12 in the afternoon]), feeling like absolute dog shit for:

1. your empty tummy,

2. not having showered in a week despite you paying your water bills,

3. your internet running at the speed of a geriatric snail so no more fan-cam edits, ALSO despite paying your internet bills,

3. just feeling like an overall ball of grease and oil that could, if necessary, fill a car's gas tank,

4. not having gotten up in those three hours,

and 5., perhaps most importantly, the world ending :(

you gazed out your window into the morning (afternoon, actually), light that peered through. It was scenic really, little puffs of dust, some asbestos tinkled in, gliding softly in the air. It hit you - this is not fun or fresh. This sucks dick, actually.

You rose, stretching, a big big biiiiigggggg stretch, cracking every conceivable bone in your body, trying to avoid looking in the mirror that could potentially reveal your physically-troubled state. You didn't even have to look to know the condition your hair was in - actually let's not talk about the hair. You'll spiral. If we can't see it, it's not real :D

"Fleabag said it best. Hair IS everything," you thought to yourself, thinking about avoiding the mirror. "Oh my god I could SOOOOO binge Fleabag right now -"

But you knew that wasn't an available way to veg out. As mentioned before, your power, water, and internet were out. You supposed it came with the world ending and all.

"Grrrjsdjaksdfnbdsjdskjjfs," your tummy said. You cradled it like a mother holding her child.

"Mama needs to eat soon...", you thought wearily.

You rose and peered out the window - and it was the same old shit. Those cracked-out girlies were still on the prowl, being the biggest cockblocks you've ever encountered in your life for some good food.

"But girl, we gotta eat! We have to soon," your brain said. "You can't keep this shit up! REAL calories and shit actually do matter!"

"But bitch how? Those fat asses on the street are gonna try to toss up with you again!" the other side of your brain said.

"So what? You're gonna keep living off three-month old Halloween candy?? Those Twix's are tasting more like the processed chocolate that they are every DAY! Stop playing around and gaslighting yourself into thinking they're good, girl!" the other side argued back. "THINK about it. You bought those to sneak in to watching Dune in theaters. And not even the second Dune, the first. They're literally vintage."

"What's stomach gotta say?" the other side shot back, quite angrily.

"Grhjdkajdjsjdfoifdiosiojf," your stomach replied. You knew what that meant a little all too well - your stomach couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't even sentient enough to respond.

"FUCK!" you bursted aloud! So loud that the cracked-out girlies out on the street got startled and did a little jump!

You absolutely HATED being hungry. If this experience had taught you anything, it's the appreciation of a good ass fucking meal. You were, after all, a self-proclaimed 'fat ass bitch'. So how were you gonna live up to that now?

You began to reminisce about your favorite dishes, even though you knew it wasn't gonna be a good idea for your mental health.

Bandeja paisa...

Pickles...

McDonald's cheeseburger with Big Mac sauce...plz McDonald's worker, don't forget the sauce........

Publix sub...

Mango chunks with tajin...

Provolone cheese and salami...

Korean corndogs...

A fat ass burrito...

Little Caesars breadsticks...

Auntie Anne's organic cinnamon rolls...

Vodka pasta...

Coconut chickpea curry...

...a bowl of assorted fruit but none of that honeydew cantaloupe bullshit...

"FUCK!" you yelled again. They also jumped! again. "How the FUCK did I go from drinking tiki cocktails on the beach to the WALKING FUCKING DEAD?!?!?!?!??!!!!! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING RICK HERE PROVIDING FOR ME!!!"

You slammed yourself back on the bed, ready to cry - both from the acceptance that this was your new reality and slamming yourself a little too hard that you felt a spring bust up into your thoracic spine. You hated yourself for talking shit about that cantaloupe and honeydew. Yeah they're ass and should NOT have a place in a fruit bowl but that was real fucking food. Real SUSTENANCE!!! And what did you do? You fed it to the fucking seagulls on the beach and used it to pelt those fuck ass middle schoolers who wouldn't stop quoting Adin Ross, when you could have enjoyed it yourself. Had it been now, you would've Iron Clawed those birds and children for those two dookie ass fruits just for a taste of something REAL. Not moldy chocolate from a Costco bag that you snuck into Lynch's Dune. (Yeah girl, I'm not talking the Timothee one. I'm taking the Kyle MacLachlan one. I said they were vintage!)

How did we get here?

Well, we'll revisit this question later, cause right now you have come to one FINAL decision - food. You. Need. Food.

"Fuck it bro," you told yourself, tears welling in your eyes as you climbed out of your bed and made your way downstairs to the exit. "If there's no fine-ass cowboy police officer with a big ass nose to do it for me, I guess mama gotta do it herself."

You slipped on your old-reliable Crocs (the Lightening McQueen editions so you could go fast), then opened your back sliding glass door as to avoid the crackhead girlies on the street out front, the sun nearly blinding you solar-eclipse style. You felt like a hostage released from a hole after months of being, well, held hostage.

"Is this what Saddam felt like?," you thought.

A wave of complete euphoria went over you as you heard the birds chirp, the wind fly by, the smell of green grass with a little hint of deteriorating carcasses - it felt GOOD to be outside. Though you have had some bouts of homebody phases, you were never not missing the great outdoors. Besides the mosquitoes and the balls-hot sun, and the occasional dead bodies. But, you reminded yourself, we have to make the BEST of these types of situations.

You closed the glass door, quietly, cause those electric-chair looking victims had the most insane hearing, (making, admittedly, quite jealous since you're sure you lost a percentage of your own hearing prematurely after the introduction of AirPods.)

You then walked across your now overgrown garden, which under any other circumstances, could have passed off as a big whimsical fairy garden with the grass now being several feet tall, little ladybugs and shit nestled between. But now, shit made you feel like you were in a jungle back in 'Nam, circa 1970, pushing the foliage out of your face as you got across, bracing yourself for running into a spider web or a gnat smacking you in the face.

Once you saw the backyard gate, you opened it quietly and peered out onto the street - it was quiet, ODDLY quiet, with not one of those cockblockers in sight. You knew better, however, looks can be deceiving. We all thought those Polly Pocket outfits looked pretty good, but the gastrologist telling your parents that their elementary-school child has a rubber dress lodged in one of their intestines actually isn't pretty good.

You crept out, tiptoeing like a cartoon character or Drake sneaking past Travis Scott to whisper his verses on MELTDOWN, making sure to stay EXTRA vigilant of your surroundings. You needed to master the art of NOT disassociating, which basically meant undoing all your previous masterings of the craft. It was extremely difficult, but it was needed - slipping up LITERALLY means death here. On some for realizies shit. On some getting eaten out by and not in the good way shit. (That was disgusting I apologize - Sam)

As you crept down the street, passing down the backdrop to your average end-of-the-world surroundings with moldy houses and charred cars, you tried to remember the way to the Target. You were shit at directions and there was no Apple Maps to help you now. You just had to rely on your primal instincts of location - which, suffice to say, were usually not that good. But, when food's involved, you could track like a Neanderthal holding a spear hunting a fat ass mammoth with a posse of your fellow Neanderthal girls, you know, like, primal.

You turned the corner, sure of where you were going and worried about your luck thus far. No zombie in sight oh shit never mind there's one across the other side of the street.

It kept twitching in its tweaked state, continuously running into a fence since it was blind with that ugly ass toe fungus all up in its face.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit," you told yourself. Asshole clenching, toes squeezing downward, you calmed yourself down. It was the blind one so girl you're good! Just creep by quietly, ain't nothing to it!

You took in a deep breath - tap in tap in tap in girl! Just walk on past!

"Okay, okay," you told yourself. "Girl CHILL! Let's go okay, one, two, three - oh fuck I'm fucking shitting myself -"

But then, it hit you - you literally had no reason to be scared. You literally lived in New York. You took those subways, you knew how to handle characters like that.

Like a light switch normally does, you switched. You felt all that fear drain out of you, like the shit you took earlier - quick and easy (it was diarrhea, so, not really a good analogy metaphorically). You walked on down, even giving a friendly wave at the fungus girl. They're people too! You remembered to tell yourself, you CANNOT judge someone by their appearance! They're just going through it, I mean, after all, we've all been in that depressive episode/state before. Why hate when you can relate? Exactly! In all honesty, your hair right now probably isn't making you look well-adjusted. We all have our bad days <3 Just don't look at them too long and you're good!

As you passed by, it occurred to you - you have not been out in a MINUTE. All that hubbub and for what? You just had to wave and walk past. This brought a refreshing smile to your face, happy that you were grounded back to your reality.

"Pharrell was right. Look at the birds," you told yourself as you strolled along by, "look at the bees."

Though there were no birds or bees in sight, and the possible thought crossing your mind that you hallucinated the birds' chirps earlier, you thought it best to live in this pretend state. It helps being fake happy sometimes, after all! More and more that carbon dioxide leak in your house was sounding less like a theory and more like a fact!

You continued on, now remembering the area - Target was only a block or two away. Just in and out and oh shit there's another depressed tweaker right in front a couple feet away from you.

This time, it wasn't one of those fungus girls. It was the one who could see AND hear. Talk about double fucking whammy. And she clocked your ass, head swinging inhumanely fast to look you straight in the face.

"DAMN BITCH! YOU UGLY AS FUCK?!" you thought to yourself, unfortunately your instant, innate reaction.

"Hey, girl!" you said, friendly, trying to maintain your mindset from earlier. You waved and walked past, she seemed so taken aback from your friendliness that you left her stunted. She just stayed behind and watched. And on you walked on blissfully.

But you weren't walking for long when you heard the pitter patter of those steps RACING behind you. You whipped around. Again, you were shit at directions and feet and all, but you were PRETTY sure that you'd walked several feet farther away, so why was the ugly fungus-but-no-fungus girl HELLA close to you right now?

"What?"

The girl stopped, now confronted.

You waited for a response.

Apparently, so did she.

Y'all just stood there, silent.

......

................

...............................

..........................................

"Girl, I said what?"

Nothing.

You shrugged, rolling your eyes and turned back. But again, that pitter fucking patter.

You whipped around, quicker. She stopped her running, caught again.

"Bitch, chill. I know your ass is not chasing at me," you warned.

Nothing. Again.

You turned back around, walking a little faster. "Flaka drug ass bitch," you said under your breath.

Pitter.

Patter.

You whipped around again so fast you gave yourself whiplash and vertigo at the same time.

She stopped.

"Bitch," you said, annoyed.

"Ahfsjjdshhuweuifw," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry?" you asked, genuinely confused at her mumbling.

She had a dumbfounded face, despite not having the greatest ability to make expressions (half her face looked like those Barbie dolls Shane Dawson used to incinerate back on old YouTube). You inspected her closer. She definitely needed some Accutane treatment, cause apparently everyone ALL gave up skincare this year.

"Sadjksfjdksjc," she snarled again, "sdfhjdsf, sdfhuwjsjioisd?"

"Girl, I don't know," you replied, sassy. "I don't know what the fuck you're saying, to be honest."

"Sjdklasjfoijdjdisjfids," she mumbled.

"Girl, speak the fuck up!"

The zombie huffed. "SJDJDFSAFIDSD!!!!" She put her hands on her waist, annoyed too.

You felt bad. You genuinely had no idea what she was saying, and it didn't sound like it ended in anything you could just reply with a quick and safe, 'yeah' or 'thank you' to. You couldn't even fake laugh. Awkward. Awco fucking taco.

You two just stood there, face to face. A little standoff, perhaps?

This encounter reminded you of the first time you encountered one of these girlies. It was on your walk home after you left your White Lotus resort from your month long stay....

"Ghrskjdsksfs," the girlie said from behind. It made you jump.

"OH MY GOD!" you yelled, both out of fear of her popping out of nowhere and of course, her appearance. "Girl, I don't wanna be rude, but you look BUSTED as fuck!"

She didn't respond. You soon found out she took offense to that.

She began to follow and chase you all the way home and up to your doorstep. High key on some harassment shit. You had to barricade yourself in, cause girl was trying to hug you or something and you love being nice to strangers but didn't wanna contract bed bugs, so you pushed the bitch down the porch in time for you to lock that door. She fucked up your Ring camera too from banging on the door, so shit was personal.

You did NOT want to get physical with this girl now, but if push comes to shove, LITERALLY, then it'll have to do.

And that was your mindset from then on. Anyway, back to the Western standoff:

"Okay, girl, look just back the fuck up, okay?" you warned. "I'm being like - soooo serious right now."

You turned back around and continued down, a little hurriedly and checking behind yourself a little more often, but that girl got the memo. For a few more blocks, she was out of sight.

You hated being rude, but, that's what being a girl entails sometimes.

"Horror nights came a little early this year," you told yourself, shaking your head, "some people don't have any self-awareness at all. So sad."

Finally making it, you saw the big ass red target signaling it was a Target up above, with some extra cute greenery and mold growing inside of it. You liked the whole post-apocalyptic aesthetic, actually, but we keep that to ourselves. Other people's disadvantages are not cute to make an aesthetic out of, after all.

Inside, shit was ran SACKED. Others had gotten there before, the shelves wiped clean (figuratively, cause the shelves were filthy). It gave you STRONG COVID flashbacks. But, you were not here for toilet paper, you were here for FOOD, remember?

You went to the back, avoiding broken pieces of glass and other unidentifiable and possibly tetanus-infested objects, looking for the produce and dairy section. It smelled of dampness and poop. Not great.

"While I'm here, I wonder if they have some tampons, maybe? Actually, maybe they have some ZYN?" you wondered. After all, no one was readily available to supply you with an Elf Bar, your original being LONG dead. A girl still needed to tell her nicotine craving to chill out. You weighed your options:

Having reciting gums > not having ZYN

Hmm.

Yeah.

Options seemed to talk for themselves.

Anyway, you kept searching for any remnants of a SEALED package of food, but, unfortunately, there was none. If there were, it was moldy to the house boots down and def not edible to most people. You rummaged through and through, over and over - nothing.

You took a deep, shaky breath in, feeling those panicky tears coming in, your hunger more unbearable.

"Dude it's that, it's that I'm about to lose my fucking mind, bro," you mumbled manically to yourself as you continued to rummage like a raccoon. This made you sympathize with them, those girls live hard lives. If you were RJ, you would've stolen that bear's food too.

You picked through the remaining bags, inspecting the see-through plastic while holding it like it was an object from Chernobyl - at the very tip with the most minimal amount of skin to package contact possible. You held them up to the light and god forgive you, gave them a little sniff. When you made that mistake once, you assured maybe it was best not to do it again, the mildew-rotting scent so horridly offensive to your nasal passage that it nearly catapulted you into the ether.

You sat down, ready to welcome that panic attack breakdown, but soon shot yourself up after smacking your ass right into a cold septic puddle of rainwater (or so you hoped) dripping from the rotted ceiling. In just in your "I <3 ORLANDO" Spongebob-themed PJ shorts, you were never more sure that you just contracted yourself a yeast infection. And by the way you also caught a glimpse of your hair in the reflection of the puddle.

And this was it.

You broke.

Your hair looked like Beetlejuice.

You looked like Beetlejuice.

YOU LOOKED LIKE BEETLEJUICE?!?!?!?

"I'm losing my mind? I'm losing my mind. THIS IS SO FUCKED!" you exclaimed, oddly enough in the exact likeness of Shane Dawson's freakout in that one instagram live reacting to Tati Westbrook's YouTube video. (What's with Shane today?) "Oh my god? Oh my god?"

You were manic. This was it. This was it -

But wait - you forgot the canned food section?

A lone Chef Boyardee ravioli sat on the shelf, waiting, seemingly, just for you. She looked beautiful. Stunning. Heavenly.

You feverishly snatched the fuck out of that can, and in such power popped the lid off wide open, the colors of that red tomato sauce and surfacing ravioli packets swimming delightedly. You did it. You tapped into your inner Neanderthal, strength and all.

You downed that shit all in one go, feeling its room temperature-ness sink from your throat down to your intestines, down past that lodged Polly Pocket dress, into the acidic pit of your belly. You felt all your stomach cells jump collectively with such joy, imagining the cheering sounding just like what Horton heard on that speck.

You smiled so happily and genuine, with the exact likeness of Mark Weins.

You moaned, quite audibly. It was delectable.

You had to hit it, you NEEDED to hit it, just like Mark -

"Mmm, woooowwAAAGAHAHAH - "

"- SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHCCHCHCHHCHHC CRAASH BOOMMOMSMDF JSAFJSDSFHSJDHFJS - "

" - OH SHI -"

-You ragdolled onto the floor -

"- WHAT THE FU -"

-Fragments of cement bursted all around you -

"-BRO WHA-"

-You went blind-

And then, it was all silent.

Your moment of bliss completely evaporated, by a blue pick-up crashing into the Target, right into the produce and dairy section you were in seconds before, in another world...

Your ears rang, you were covered in dust, with the remaining red Chef Boyardee sauce all up on your face.

The entire building SHOOK with more pebbles and asbestos from the roof dropped onto the floor, along with the rattling of the glass windows.

The sound of insane gunfire soon followed.

You remained soldier-style onto the ground, like one taking it for the team by taking in all the impact of a land mind, belly to the ground. Though you couldn't see it what was happening, your soy face was NASTY.

"Bro whaaatttt????" you whispered. "All this for toilet paper????"

"TA-TATA-ATATATATATA," said the gunfire. "PPAPAPAATATATATTAAAA!!!!"

You crouched up, peering a little outside, to see a car on fire, along with more of that loud ass fucking gunfire and people ducking for cover. Shit was a real Call of Duty game. Shit was a real war zone. You were stupefied, stunned, SAT! Then, to the right -

"SCREEEECHCHCHHCHHCHCH BOOOF BOOOM PAPRATATATATA!!!!" More cars whipped around the corner outside, like for real Fast and Furious shit!

"Uh," you thought to yourself, no longer wanting to watch like a noisy pedestrian, "uhhhhhh, yeah this ain't for me. A girl like me is NOT supposed to be here! This ain't my business! War is for boys <3"

You quickly made a go for the exit, only to find it blocked by some grown ass man and child. They quickly clocked you, safe to say, both parties knowing that seeing another person this close right now is not a great sign.

The man pointed his gun to you as he stayed down with the girl, avoiding the incoming shots.

"Wait, THEY'RE the ones being shot at?" you realized, "nah bro I'm good."

"Oh, don't mind me!" you quickly said in your sweet, customer service voice, "I'm just gonna, gonna go ahead and, yeah," you inched closer to the back door and saw yourself out to the alleyway behind the place, managing to casually dodge every incoming bullet at you by a hair. After shutting that shit behind you, you stood straighter, dusted some of the dust off, and thought it best to go on back home and pretend that nothing happened, as always.

You actually ended up knocking out NASTY in the alleyway. Like, unbeknownst to you, multiple of those fungus girls walked by you thinking you were already dead.

You stirred, delirious and confused, like an old person snapping out of a moment's dementia. It was nearing sundown by now, with the sunset casting its glow on the desolate alley buildings.

You rubbed your slept-swollen face after you cranked yourself up with shaky ass arms, genuinely trying to remember the events that brought you here in the first place. You were like a shell-shocked vet.

"Bro...where the fuck....?" you looked around, trying to piece everything together - but you thought that might be too much work, so you opted to doing your own version of the Irish goodbye and leaving without addressing the previous events <3.

"I get those frat boys. Last night really WAS a movie," you thought as you walked out of the alley, looking left and right trying to remember how the fuck you were gonna take your ass back now - like NOW cause nighttime is not the place to be around these girlies. You played Minecraft. You knew the vibe. They seemed to be more rabid and unpredictable, which safe to say, is NOT your fave combo. You could so fuck up a bag of Combo's right now.

You dusted more dirt from your SpongeBob shorts, and tried to fix your botched hair, but was briefly and heavily distracted by a dust particle getting into your eye - causing such emergency and panic.

"Oh fuck oh fuck no get out get OUT!" you worried, trying to pry whatever foreign conspirator of a dust particle that was currently committing espionage in your eye socket, albeit looking quite disturbing doing so.

After prying that bitch out, you wiped your face and to your fucking dismay, spotted red stains all up on your hands. Your heart fell to the empty distilled pits of your stomach, to the pits of your gooch -

"IS THAT FUCKING BLOOD? OH MY GOD AM I FUCKING, LIKE, HURT?!" you freaked - you were quite literally wounded in battle. You took a sniff. "Oh, just tomato sauce. I'm so silly!"

You smiled to yourself happily, slowly remembering that ravioli - the one highlight of this mess. Your tummy rumbled.

"If only there was a cart full of foo - oh my god there's one right there," in front of you was a shopping cart that apparently spawned out of nowhere filled with goodies. Literally perfect!

You approached it, mesmerized by its contents - more canned ravioli, Dolly Parton's buttercream frosting, a tub of fresh watermelon, some bags of gummy worms, some bags of Wingstop wings (with fries and ranch!), tubs of water (of which you credited this random shopping cart being sent from some higher power because it wasn't Dasani or Zephryhill), Combo's and, perhaps most importantly, a jar of spear dill pickles.

You could've cried.

And you did.

But you stopped after like ten seconds because remember it's nighttime a girl needs to GO!

You took that shopping cart and began walking down the scene where that Fast and Furious ass scene went down, now lifeless of any activity but bullet-riddled crashed cars, piles of broken cement, dead bodies, and random spouts of smoke. You felt like just a girl, walking down an average street in New York, living a single, nepo-fueled and quaint life.

"If only I had my headphones," you thought, now saddened that your phone and sound-proof headphones had been long-dead. "I LITERALLY pay my fucking bills, like?"

You continued walking, just a girl with her shopping cart, when you spotted a clearing in some forest area, which seemed very familiar to you.

"Lowkey, I think this is a short-cut to my house?" you said to someone, apparently. (There's no one around you but that's never stopped you.)

You went down into the wood, like a girl with just her shopping cart going through a magical Studio-Ghibli-esque forest that sprouted between two demolished buildings into some portal into the spirit world. Though it was pretty difficult to push the lowkey-broken shopping cart on anything but flat flooring, causing you to have some bouts of intolerable anger so powerful it helped you yank the wheels stuck on uprooted roots, you thought, "hey, things could lowkey be worse? Like, let's just remember what Vanessa Hudgens said, 'Like, yeah, people are gonna die which is terrible but like...inevitable?' "

And people did die, BUT, you did have Wingstop fries, so.

And now, it wasn't just a whole shopping cart of goodies that you would return home with, but some granola?!

A pile of perfectly placed granola sat pretty on the ground in front of you, with some berries and yogurt bits scattered in - just fucking delicious and any vegan mommy's dreams.

"Oh my god," your mouth salivating, inhumanely - a Kubrick stare fell over your face as you eyed the fuck out of that horse feed.

"I could lowkey fuck UP some granola," your stomach said, the only decipherable thing she's said in a loooooooong time. Long time.

When you clocked out of your gaze, you walked on over, ready to scoop up the entire pile, relishing in the self-fulfillment and satisfaction you imagined was what those Neanderthals felt way back when. This little hunting and gathering thing we got going on here? Ain't that hard.

You stood over it, grabbing the pile that happened to be conveniently sitting on a plastic mat, attached with some strings that went places you didn't really give a fuck to know about. All that mattered, was that the stars were aligned for you tonight, the moon must've been in your favor. You didn't need a tarot reader to know that life, well, was good now. Life laugh love even through apocalypse <3

"Man, mama eaten GOOOOOOD tonight!" you bellowed, giggling, dancing slightly back and forth like the fat ass you are, "I wondered if the Neanderthals ever dabbled in a little grano - "

"Grhasjdhfsdsknfjs."

You froze.

Ain't. No. Fucking. Way.

You looked up slowly.

"Biiiiitccchhhhhh," you said, in disbelief.

"Grajsdhfsajdsk," she said, more sassier than ever.

"No - NO! This is MINE!" you warned the same fungus girl from earlier. She stood, several feet away, creepily standing in the dark now that the sun was pretty much set. Let's just say, HELLA liminal spaces-core. HELLA ominous with it.

She didn't reply. Instead, she began creeping closer to you, looking at you up and down like an old man checking out a girl walking by who HAPPENS to be in a tank top. You loved your LGBTQ+, but girl needed to be a little smoother in her approach!

"No. Back off NOW!" you shot back, now standing straighter. After some time out in this life, you learned it's best to approach these girls like you would a bear, if, ideally, you were able to keep yourself calm enough so much so you could think clearly - just stand straight and tall. Stand your GROUND stand your GRANOLA if you will.

"I'm warning you, girl. No means no. I found it first, fair and fucking square."

She kept coming, now closer than ever. She wasn't taking no for an answer. You almost gagged at her peeling face, icked the fuck out, but didn't wanna be THAT outwardly rude. She was looking you up and DOWN. (It admittedly boosted your ego up a little, like, were you lowkey hot right now?)

It was clear she wasn't backing down. Your bear tactic went down the toilet.

She began running.

Full.

Speed.

"Jesus, fine we can share, girl, okay?"

Let's just say, she meant business. Bitch was about to pimp-slap you across the face for that granola.

"Bro it's that I said we could shaAAAAAAAAAAA - "

But itt was too quick. Too sudden.

One moment you were about to post-up with the fungus tweaker and the next you were plummeted to the ground by an unseeable force, every ounce of wind pushed out from every crevice of your body, the granola popping into the air like confetti that became shrapnel against the fungus girl, lodging itself into her already fucked-up face.

You gasped for air, in complete shock, whatever force holding you down to the ground - you looked up to see what actual 200+ pound of muscle football fuck just tackled you. Is the granola like the football right now? Did you just touchdown or whatever right now?

It was him - the same guy from earlier.

You were too exasperated to speak, literally non-verbal. All he saw were your wide ass eyes, gaping open mouth begging for air like a fish out of water (fish don't breath air, little fun fact! :D) and Beetlejuice hairdo, some tomato sauce still crusted around your lips.

He suddenly lifted himself up, whipped out a bat from his side and beat that fungus girl to DEATH. Like, BEAT.

"Oh fffff - uckaaaa," you were able to muster, "there go my Chiro sessions -"

You rose up, struggling, feeling physically and spiritually like a stomped-on roach, watching this man absolutely go ballistic on the girl. She wasn't even identifiable anymore, just a big mess of red gross goo and shit.

The little girl from earlier stood closely, like you, just completely entranced with the very ugly and quite frankly inappropriate violence for a child like her to be witnessing. It was like the Reddit 50/50 challenge all over again. (P.S. so like if you look up what that challenge is DON'T press images like I absentmindedly just did literally right after typing that to see if it was still up - Sam <3).

After he was done wailing, he stood straight, caught his breath, bringing himself back to reality from that outburst. He wiped blood off his dome and looked to you, a face of both complete disappointment and disgust that only comes with a man 50 and up.

Your short-tempered, therapist-diagnosed anger flew over you - physically raging like a boy who got his house blown up by a creeper in Minecraft. Again, what did we say about nighttime???

"You. Fucking. DICK!!!!" you spat, your control now completely lost, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT FUCKING COSTS FOR A CHIRO SESSION?! DON'T YOU KNOW THEY DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE, APPARENTLY?!??! DO I LOOK LIKE TRAVIS KELCE?!?!? DO I LOOK LIKE A QUARTER POUNDER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO ROLE PLAY AS TAYLOR WHEN THE CHIEFS WON?! I AIN'T A FUCKING SWIFTIE LIKE THAT!!!!!!"

After your spewing, you took a deep breath. It felt pretty good, you even smiled.

His face fell.

"Are you fucking crazy?" he bellowed back, "Are you out of your mind?! What were you thinking?!"

"I was literally JUST sharing food. I had that handled. I was like, breaking - breaking bad. Like Jesus..?" you knew there was something wrong there. Now you felt embarrassed. "No, wait - that's bread. Whatever fuck it I FUCKED THAT UP! But I'm NOT meth head, I'm NOT LIKE HER!" you pointed at the now mass of flesh and fungi. Gross.

"I just saved your fucking life," he now came in close, towering over you and pointing, intimidating and furious. His southern drawl was in full action. (Uh oh you found this hot little does he know). "That granola back there was a fucking deer trap!"

"Well," you started, biting your tongue like a mom, "it seems you've trapped my 'deer' ol' hear -"

The girl stepped forward before you could finish that not well-timed flirt. "Wait, aren't you from the supermarket? Earlier?" she asks, now laughing, "That was crazy!"

"Ellie, don't." The man stepped back, guarding the girl from you. He was weary. "Who are you?"

"I'm me," you said, arms crossed, unplucked and overgrown eyebrows raised. "Who are you?"

"Joel....?" the girl named Ellie said, worriedly. He seemed to chill out a bit. He looked over to her with a face that read: Don't worry. I know this bimbo means no harm."

During that moment, you really took the scene in - and that scene? This man in front of you with the hick ass name Joel. Joel? Well,

"Why he kindaaaaaa," BOTH sides of your brain said. "No, no I can't. Not here and not again, like time and place," you thought to yourself, but unbeknownst to you you said aloud. Safe to say, they looked at you oddly.

But you couldn't control your thoughts or your emotions. They are, after all, your thoughts and emotions which are usually, like Vanessa said, inevitable?

He was tall, burly, and graying - with such a masculine aura it was insane. The strong, silent types, as your ex-boyfriend/ex-sugar daddy, Tony Soprano, would've adored. His whole rugged look - dirt on the face, unkept hair and facial hair, tired eyes, somewhat smelly...

Then it hit you.

Is this it?

Is this him?

Is this your RICK?????

You didn't realize it, but you were staring. Not in the Kubrick this-bitch-fucking-crazy way, but in the, this-bitch-out-of-it way. You shook yourself back to reality. If you were going to bag this man, you needed to act indifferent.

A moment went by, no one spoke.

"Well.... y'all gonna eat this?" you asked, motioning to all the scattered granola.

They didn't reply.

"Okay slay!" You bent down to start picking up all the pieces. You weren't, after all, gonna let all that go to waste like these bozos would.

You popped one in your mouth, chomping that stale piece. "Mmmm. Mhm. Yeah. Sprout's. Def."

You continued to pick them up, the man named Joel now scoffing in disbelief of the situation. You perked up and turned to the Ellie girl. "Hey girlie, you want?"

Ellie the girl happily grabbed some, chewing on it for what looked like the first time. You were confused, judging, but thought it best to not judge.

"Ggrjsdfjsakjdfska."

All three of you stood straight, frozen.

Another fungus bitch pulled up, arms out and perked up at the sight of y'all - his possible little buffet. He had on a Vineyard Vines t-shirt and a pair of Sperry's. In summation? Ugly. His face was also fucked up.

"Oh, my god," you said, over it, "what ever happened to finders fucking keepers? Y'all getting on my damn NERVES! Hold this girl," you passed the collected granola into Ellie's arms. Joel, getting prepped to probably curb stomp this once-private and probably racist schoolboy, soon stopped once he saw you step up to the ring.

As mentioned before, you never liked to resort to violence, but there comes a time...

You grabbed that zombie by the hair, and began to wail on it with one punch after another, grabbing it's man-bun ponytail and slamming its body onto the ground, continuing to obliterate it's my-daddy-has-a-boat ass, completely disassociating with anger.

Joel and Ellie watched in both horror and amazement at your abilities.

"You fucking bitch back the FUCK off bro!" you muttered. The last time you fought with this same manner and vigor was in the school bathrooms over a juul. Those cookie-monster PJ pants girls taught you well.

Once you landed him in an induced coma, you rose up, took in a deep breath and searched his Bermuda short's side pockets, feeling for the all familiar shape. And there she was.

You pulled it out - there she was in all her beauty.

"Speaking of!" you said, examining the blueberry fume. As mentioned, it was just like those bathroom fights. "Yes YES! I used to know a girl who FUCKED these up! I just KNEW he'd carry!"

Just then, the rich boy moved. You clocked it, and kicked it on its side. It rose and quickly ran off, frightened, as you continued to yell some more obscenities. You hit the fume - shit was still kicking.

You turned back. "Sorry guys, I'm just, I try to be patient with them, and I am, don't get me wrong. I know COVID has everyone acting, you know, off their shit but," you looked to the now deceased fungus tweaker. "Poor girl. She just wanted some granola bits."

Joel furrowed his brows, very confused. "Why would you be 'patient' with them? They're infected!"

"Hey! That's not a nice way to characterize victims of diseases - drugs are real, like don't you know about fenty? And I'm not even talking about Rihan -"

"They're runners! They're not human!"

You turned back to the limping 'runner', now confused too.

"Runners?" you asked, turning back.

Joel nodded. "Yeah. Infected. Undead."

"You mean, like, zombies?"

Joel took a minute, seemingly embarrassed that he hadn't thought of something so obvious as that sooner.

"You know," you shrugged, tired, blowing out an obnoxious cloud of smoke from the fume, a cloud, if you will, "they're just going through it."

Ellie looked to Joel, unsure of what to make of your comments.

It was now nighttime, and after massively failing to locate or find your way back home, Joel, out of pity that you were a bit of a bimbo, allowed you to stay with them for one night.

You all were camped (ew I know) in the middle of a forest, it was pitch black outside all except for the small fire in front of you all where Joel had baked beans cooking. Apparently, your perfect shopping cart with the goodies vaporized into the air, because it was nowhere in sight after the whole shabackle and hubbub. Joel suggested in a, what you swore was, passive-aggressive way, that you were so starved you began hallucinating it. You knew that was most probably the case but would've rather eat a fungus off one of those 'runners' or whatever's faces than admit that. And you would've, again, rather eat that toe fungus than mentioned your probable house's carbon dioxide leakage.

Anyway, back to the scene - Ellie is knocked out in her sleeping bag, leaving you and Joel to sit across from each other in a pretty awkward silence as you ate those gross ass beans. There were some moments you caught yourself about to complain about them and claim they tasted like 'dick', but thought it best not to. But, you needed to say something about this, you couldn't just hold it in.

"How's the beans?" Joel asked, quietly and moodily as usual.

"Tbh," you said, the first thing spoken in like an hour, "...I just want, like, sushi, man."

His face fell a bit.

"But this isn't bad! Trust me!" you quickly tried saving yourself, feeling very quite bad, "look, I've had beans in England. Some say the bean capital of the world, there's literally a dude from there named Mr. Bean. And this is so much better."

He was too confused to reply.

You felt a fly buzz by your ear - one of your number one hated sensories to be crossed - and smacked it. You HATED the outdoors too, as much as you hated these beans. It reminded you of when you had exited your home after months being inside and how quickly that 'touching-grass' shit got old.

But still, no complaining.

You glanced over at him, and you couldn't help but think - man this dude looks familiar. Very familiar. You weren't sure if it's just cause you haven't seen another person in some time, or in this case, another man in so long that your brain basically said: "man = every other man" and that's the reason you thought he looked 'familiar'. But, no, no - you'd SEEN this man before. Did you have a dream about him? No, that was Rick. Actually, now that you thought about it, he lowkey looked like some of your ex's?

"What's your name?" you asked, trying to break the awkward silence. You knew, but had forgotten.

He hesitated, his grumpy ass chewing on those beans. "Joel. Joel Miller."

"Oh my god, you're real?" And that was it - THAT'S why he looked familiar! "I literally wrote a fan fiction about you in class, and submitted that as my final! Everything really does come full circle when you think about it." You went back to eating your beans, waiting for him to respond, which he didn't really do a lot. You thought it best to move on.

"Well, Joel. Can I tell you something?"

He hesitated again, a little longer. "What?"

"So like, I've only been out here for like, a week? Or two? To be honest I don't remember. Could be a month, but like, what happened?"

"What do you mean what happened?" that southern drawl coming out more now that he was annoyed/mad that you'd even ask a question like that.

You shrugged and looked around. "Like, all this?" you said, obviously.

He let out a tired breath.

"Well, there were this fungu -"

Just as he was about to explain, you interrupted, unknowingly, going on more about your cluelessness.

" - Like, one minute I'm in a resort, you know, the White Lotus one, sipping marg's on the beach, for like a month? My ex-boyfriend slash sugar daddy at the time, AND I only say ex cause he hasn't gotten back to me since all this shit happened so I just assumed he broke it off with me but whatever, that's not the point, Tony - Tony's his name - paid for my stay. It was great, I was living pretty, you know, lavishly? VERY lavishly, actually. I was tanning, being massaged, going through a whole cleanse, you know? No phone, no internet. I had a bunch of books recommendations from TikTok, but to be honest I didn't really read them cause the words just don't process, you know? You just need to bring it with you to make people THINK you read, you know? Anyway, I'm there, and who do I see? Fucking Jared Leto! Yeah, that creepy ass bitch! He had his whole cult there, like they're weird Jonestown retreat or whatever, and I wanted to join cause it looked fun but I knew I probably couldn't be married to him, you know, how all those cult leaders are. Anyway whatever, it was great. I was having a great time, Big Ange was even there and she left me her green glasses and I've been meaning to give them back to her - "

"- Where'd you say you were staying at again?"

"White Lotus? In Jersey?"

"There's a beach resort in Jersey?"

"No, I know what you mean. It's where Tony was from, but it's a faux beach. The beach? It's faux. Stops the smell of rotting 'whacked' bodies, you know, cause that's not very resort like?"

He nodded, he understood.

"Yeah. Anyway," you said, annoyed he interrupted you, "I'm there, in my room, sleeping, and there's a knock at my door. I go and it's the lobby guy or whatever, he's like rushing me out telling me about how my stay is over cause there's a cold going around and I have to leave, like? I'm sorry, I paid - well Tony paid - for the whole month and a half? But what am I gonna do, you know? So I'm like fine fucking party poopers, and they kick me out, like a fucking cartoon, down the steps of the place and toss my luggage. At first I was mad, cause like, what's a little cold? And then I look outside where they kicked me out and the world is like, over? Everything ended? Over a fucking cold? Shit was like, demolished. And then they shut the door behind me leaving me to fend for myself, like I'm sorry? Do I look like Bear Grylls? Do I look like 'Survivor'? Like I got this shit handled? So whatever, I walked back home and let's just say: Culture. Shock. Insane. Like, whaaattttt? Covid was worse than I thought! Then I get home, my power's out, my water, everything. And shit was DIRTY! Like as if I'd been gone for twenty fucking years. I couldn't check Twitter or anything, it wasn't loading so I couldn't find out what the big deal was. Like, guys, can we talk about the political and economic state of the world right now? AND I had a blister on my toe from the walk! It sucked!"

(Told you we'd revisit! Now, we're revisited!)

Once you were finished with your impromptu story time, Joel intently listening, he went onto explain after the whole lore of the political and economic state of the world right now, how it wasn't even political or economic, just a virus. Shit was crazy. Fungus, coffee beans and spinach, Fire fly people, rations, explosions, the whole deal. You were tapped in, realizing you didn't space out cause he was just so fine to look out you genuinely cared about what he had to say. And he said it.

A sullenness came over him, and you hated to say - it was pretty hot. But time and place! It just occurred to you that he didn't seem like the type to open up, so him being vulnerable just made you think, wow, he's a human! And he's hot!

After he finished, there was a sad silence in the air.

"Man....covid really was worse than I thought," you replied.

"Now do you get it? They're not real people or 'girlies'. They're infected," he said. "Do you have any experience with them? Besides the one you beat on and scared away today?"

"What makes you think I don't have any experience?" you replied, with a little flirtatious-sass in your voice. You knew you didn't have experience.

"Cause no experienced person would have willingly beaten up an infected the way you did without fear of being scratched or bit. It was reckless and stupid what you did."

"Yeah but I fucked his ass up," you said, hyping yourself up in the process. "But lol you're kinda right. Nah, yeah the most experience I have with zombies is Black Ops. Those bitches give me the heeby JEEBIES!"

"You think this Tony is still alive?"

"I don't know, actually," you said. "We got into a pretty bad argument before I left, that's why I left, you know, to the resort, for some space and a break between each other. So I doubt he'd call me back now."

"What about?"

"He's like a big animal guy, you know? Whatever, his fucking horse died and I literally didn't know, no one told me. There was a candle lit at the vet when they were putting him down and I was like, as a joke, 'guys! It's lit right now!' and he was all like, 'what he fuck is wrong with you?'. He was annnnggrryyyyyyy. I didn't read the paper beside the candle saying to be quiet, that they were putting it down," you said, shrugging. "Really sad. She was a pretty horse, you know? Cunty."

Joel nodded. This was all a very serious affair for him. It bummed you out, everything was so serious and sad out here.

"So these zombies aren't girl's girls after all? They're like, anti-girlies?" you asked, mainly as a statement of fact you were coming to terms with rather than a question.

"I guess so," he said. "Whatever the fuck that means," he also said, not as audible. That explosion earlier left you more partially deaf.

He looked down and continued to fiddle and play with his beans with his fork, not taking much interest in his appetite anymore. There was a moment of silence between you guys, more comfortable than before. You both felt the bond of this shared experience bring you guys together a bit, in this very moment. He didn't feel much of a stranger anymore, and neither did you to him. You felt, truly, he was a man who lost something too...

The solemness on him, again you hated to admit, you found very attractive. EXTREMELY attractive, actually. The last time you saw a relatively attractive man was months ago at the resort, and he was, unfortunately, (but not unfortunately for the gays) a gay man. RIP ARMAND <3. So safe to say, you were rabidly horndogging. He was the type of man that has a LOT of shit going on, but doesn't talk about it, but DOES look like it.

But you knew how to handle this - it wasn't your first rodeo.

"So are you, like, single, orrr...?" you asked, sheepishly, acting like you are so not trying to get at him right now.

"Why do you ask?" he replied, somewhat guarded.

"Well cause you got a daughter and all, like is there a wife orrr - ?"

" - She's not my daughter."

"Damn. Okay. So you're like babysitting orrr?"

He thought for a moment. "Sure," he replied, cautiously.

"Man, you're just triggering my daddy issues!" you joked but it horrendously didn't land, "just kidding!" You giggled, casually and nervously. What happened to time and place?

TIME JUMP!!!!!

Remember how I said Joel just let you stay with them for one night? Well now it's been like six months and you're halfway across the country, in another truck! Yay!

Despite him giving clear signs that you two were to part, (not wanting to outright DIRECTLY say so cause he didn't wanna be rude), it was clear you weren't able to those read social cues that well. (Actually, you did, you read them quite well, but wanted to pretend not to because he was now your Rick and you lowkey mentally imprinted on him on some Twilight shit). He eventually gave up all hope, pitying you in a way. The only positive he saw was how you did all the talking with Ellie, since his ass is basically mute.

You became a sort of bigger sister/cool aunt for her, which you ate the fuck up. You had to fill her in on EVERYTHING: the Dramageddon lore, the Challengers summer experience, Ariana Grande/Spongebob fiasco, Kendrick v. Drake beef, Jojo's Karma's a Bitch and how she's the first self-proclaimed lesbian to ever exist, Colleen Ballinger's ukulele apology, finding out about the Queen's death and Twitter, the Montgomery riverfront fight, and more that aren't too important to mention. You thought it best to fill her in on shit a girl her age would fuck up, like what kid cares about the political and economic state of the world right now? Anyway you two got along very well, she made you giggle and you made her giggle, the perfect vibe! Joel lowkey admired you for, (and found it hot), the way you were with her. What could you say? All those years in early childhood back in high school meant something after all! Not just D grades and getting caught with a cart in your backpack!

Speaking of Joel, he definitely wouldn't show it, but like I said, he began to like you a bit. Actually, fuck that middle school shit and 'liking' - he began to FALL for you! On some romantic period piece shit! And who wouldn't? Besides those moldy Spongebob shorts, crusty yet fast Lightening McQueen Crocs and Beetlejuice hair, you were a natural beauty! Girl you were bad asf!!!!

Now in another pick-up, y'all were moving cross cuntry. You had your feet out the window, letting them get that breeze as you watched the Microsoft Windows default wallpaper-esque landscape pass on by. Ellie was in the back reading her nerd ass comic books, while Joel drove, of course, in silence. You were literally his passenger princess. If only you had a phone and AUX, cause your Spotify roadtrip playlist would so hit right now.

But again, what's in Ohio?

All you knew, was that they needed to get to Ohio. What's in Ohio? Who the fuck knows. Logan Paul? London? Yes, there's a London in Ohio, you knew that all to well when you accidentally booked a flight there instead of the actual London in England high off a Benadryl pill. But you wouldn't mention that to Joel.

You weren't sure what the fuck was up with Ohio, all he said was that they needed to get there. You thought it best not to question too much, afraid of losing that passenger princess spot.

(hey! it's Sam and my dumbass just realized that it's Utah they're going to, not Ohio. Apparently they wanna meet up with the Mormons, not Prime's own, Logan Paul. Whatever same hick ass states anyway I'm not gonna change it so proceed!)

"I wish I had my phone or AUX right now," you said, sadly. "I have this Spotify roadtrip playlist that would sooooo hit right now."

He gave you a side eye, his normal response.

"What song would you play?" Ellie asked.

"Hmm, let me think," you said, now thinking. "Probably like, Lana's cover of 'Take Me Home, Country Roads'? You know, cause we're like on country roads right now."

Joel gave you another side eye. You peeped. This was a perfect prying moment!

"Do you know that song?" you asked Joel. Y'all barely spoke anything personal (actually, YOU spoke at lengths, without being asked, about your personal stuff, but not vice versa. He was a great listener, though).

"Yeah. I know it," he said, quietly. You knew there was more.

Just as you were about to say something, he interrupted.

"But I don't know who that 'Lana' is."

"Oh, Joel, you'd fuck UP Lana! She's like the bridge between girlies and middle-aged men, not for the same reasons but a bridge nonetheless!"

You all then began to talk about music, but it usually involved just you and Ellie pairing up to bully, in a friendly way, Joel. It was fun to make fun of him, in a friendly way. You got so much enjoyment out of bugging these grown ass men, cause their egos were so fragile. You also just kind of found it hot that you could do that, with Joel as NO exception.

As mentioned before, he was very quiet. And you're a talker. See the problem? You were waiting for the right moment, when after all this buildup and trust would, well, buildup into trust, enough for him to open up to you. And when that day comes, it won't be just his mouth opening up!

You also got pretty good at learning how to defend yourself against the zombie girlies. Not that you didn't know before, but now, with Joel's help, you were able to take down multiple at once. You ate that shit up, feeling like one of those hot Resident Evil characters. Joel was even impressed, which made you pretend more like it was 'no biggie' as you'd usually say. What you didn't say, of course, was how your asshole clenched from fear every time you saw one and how you ached all over from fighting! But why would you?! Appearances are lowkey everything!!

The skyline of the city finally came into view. Fuck if you knew which city it was, you lost track. Your stomach rumbled. You cradled it as if you were "so I'm thirty-four weeks today", softly and longingly. You needed to eat. The rumble was loud, causing Joel to look over.

"You okay?"

"Does it sound like it? I'm hungry," you said. "Where's my fume?" You began to pat yourself down for that appetite suppressant, having an addict's moment of panic that you may have lost it. You didn't, she just thought she'd be funny and slip between the cracks of the chair and armrest. You pulled that bitch out and envisioned it was a Five Guy's cheeseburger as you inhaled that faux blueberry chemical.

"Guys, what's this?" Ellie asked, reaching over to the front, pointing to a roll of sushi illustrated in her comic. You didn't know Batman had time to eat sushi, but,

"Oh, FUCK!" you bellowed. "Sorry, Ellie. Excuse my French. I could so eat that right now."

You then caught a glimpse of a rather large scar on her forearm. Shit looked crazy.

"Uh, Ellie," you said. "I don't wanna like, overstep or be rude, I know it's none of my business."

Joel and Ellie suddenly tensed up. At this moment, they both knew the mistake Ellie had just made. You didn't, of course, which was why they were concerned.

Ellie backed up softly, quickly covering up her scar. Joel shifted in his seat.

"Uh, yeah? What is it?" Ellie asked wearily.

"That scar," you said.

Ellie gulped. Joel tightened his grip on the wheel.

"You should slap some scar cream on that. Like, Mederma? Ever heard of it?"

"Mederma?" Ellie asked.

Joel let out a relieved breath. He raked his hand through his hair, self-soothingly. They were good. Thank god for your lack of social cues.

"It's, uh, a scar cream," Joel answered lowly.

"It helps, trust. Once, I was on a city bike in Miami Beach, fell right onto the concrete and ate shit. It was bad, but once that scar closed, I lathered that cream on, and that's it. Now I don't even remember where the scar is. The doctor said it was from memory loss after smacking my head on the ground, but I really think it was the Mederma. So yeah. Get some if you can," you said.

"Uh huh. Okay," Ellie said. She wasn't really listening, instead trying to relax herself from you almost finding out about what was really in Ohio (Utah). And you wanna know something? It's not Logan Paul (Mormons).

"Anyway, yeah that food? It's sushi. It's sooooo good. So good," you said, reminiscing about those rolls. "So good. So so sooooo good."

"What's sushi?"

"Anything you want it to be, honestly. But usually fish," you said.

You took a moment.

"FUCK!" you yelled again, the anger of craving sushi so animalistic, "Sorry, sorry. I just, I just really want sushi. I wish you could try it Ellie, I think you'd like it. Joel, do you like sushi?"

"Never had it."

"What?"

"I've never had it."

"How have you never had sushi?"

"I just haven't."

"Well, you should."

"I can't."

"Why not? You allergic to fish?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Cause we're in a goddamn apocalypse," he replied, this time quite irritated.

"Well, if you do, let me know. I want a piece," you said, a little sassy, looking back out the window.

He then turned to give you a hard look. It was a mix of anger and confusion, the usual.

"You know," he started, trying to think of the words, "you're weir -"

" - JOEL WATCH OUT!!!!!!!"

Joel shot his head straight forward, to see a zombie standing in the middle of the road.

BAMBOOMSD AHSDFJKASJDFKSJSKLDJFAS

He swerved, causing you're not-wearing-seatbelt-ass to slam into the passenger car door, then rag doll as you held on for dear life on the grab handles above as you flipped over and over and over and over and over and over from the sheer power and magnitude of that swerve.

BOOM CRASH BOOFS FJADSJJDASKDSAADS CRASH BOOM POPSJDKFJASFAS

"OH SHI -"

You looked like Jay Leno in that one video where the car repeatedly flips over and over, with Joel holding his arm out trying to keep you down (didn't work).

BOOM CRASH POWEBSDAJFJSAKDA BOOF BAM POWBOOMSADJF

It just kept going.

CRASHBOOM JSDHSIFHJSA CRASH SJDFLSAFDKL FLIPSD FASKJDFSSDOAFLIP SADJFKSAJFD

Kept going.

BOOM CRASHDJSAKDFJSALDJ FAS

Yo lowkey when this gonna stop?

BOOM CRASH BOOFS FJADSJJDASKDSAADS CRASH BOOM POPSJDKFJASFASSDJFSKAKDADAS.....

SJKDFASKLJDFS boom pop.....crash...

It finally stopped!

You groaned awake, feeling FUCKED up your shit was ROCKED.

"Get up! GET UP!" Joel yelled, already having been out the car with Ellie.

"Oh my god okay chill I literally just flipped?"

"It's a trap! They're raiders!"

"What -"

"TA-TATA-ATATATATATPPAPAPAATATATATTAAAA!!!!"

You rolled your eyes bro not again.

All three of you took cover behind the now dilapidated truck as the raiders shot from the other side of the road.

You weren't even scared now, just over it like? Likeeee???????

Joel started shooting back, and so did you and though your aim was pretty shit you managed to take out some of them. You found that not looking and just shooting overhead and all over the place was the best tactic! Let the bullet find its own way <3

"Oh my god, Joel, I got an idea!" you said.

"What?!" he bellowed, very busy with the whole gunfire and all.

"We should make a bomb!"

"How?!"

"Mazel tov cocktail?"

"You mean molotov?!"

"Why are you correcting me? We have to think fast not be correcting each other get your priorities straight Joel oh my god?! Am I the only one taking this seriously?!?!?"

You dropped that gun on the floor and began to craft the bomb with such efficiency and grace, you felt like a little brainiac. You thought this may have been how the Unabomber felt like if he actually succeeded. (Thank god he didn't though lol right?? btw fbi I'm not a terrorist sympathizer!!! - Sam)

Let's just say - the pressure was on! As you were crafting the bomb, shots continue to fly by overhead, blowing comically large holes in Beetlejuice-esque hair. Joel kept rushing you, which you didn't appreciate like no shit I'm trying to go fast? Why would I not be trying to go fast dumbass?

Once you finished, you lit the cloth's end and turned to Joel and threw it at him, "THINK FAST JOEL!"

He, petrified, grabbed it in midair and looked at you with a look of complete awe. And it wasn't the good kind. More a look of horror, actually. Offended horror.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THROW IT AT ME?!?!?!"

"UH, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GOOD EYE-HAND COORDINATION?!?! YOU THROW IT!?!?!"

In disbelief, he threw the molotov on the other side of the car and took cover.

You all ducked, and you took out your Dollar Store sunnies to cover your eyes from, essentially, the war crime you've just committed.

Let's just say - Oppenheimer would've been jealous. It wasn't your first time making a molotov, but something was different in the air that day, because you pretty much made the equivalent of one atomic bomb in that little glass Jarritos bottle.

The light from the bomb was so bright, for a second's moment, everything seemed still and dead silent, muted almost, as the bright glare lit everything around you all - you all braced yourselves, readying for the sound - the boom.

And girl.

Did it boom.

"Boom," said the Jarritos bottle.

The bomb? Yeah, pretty big. The effectiveness? Yeah, pretty and literally groundbreaking. The sound? Yeah, deafening.

Shards of metal, glass, unidentifiable body parts, and other mumbo jumbo flew right past you all from behind the truck, as you all huddled together, still tense from the impact.

If it wasn't for the fact that, as previously mentioned, you were already lowkey deaf from AirPods, you'd definitely be a mute. The sound riveted through all y'all's ear drums, sprinkling in a little tinnitus behind.

You guys crept up to see the damage. You pretty much did more than enough, they all literally died. The coast was definitely clear and y'all were good to go!

You three then grabbed your bags and started to walk down the road into the city, all in a stunned silence. You weren't that stunned, really, (it wasn't your first time making bombs as you did notably do some freelance work for Escobar), but Ellie and Joel had the same look like that one pic of that thousand-yard-stare soldier.

Joel was also quite pissed off, he just had that grumpy ass face he always has, but more intense. You assumed it was cause of the whole shabackle, but couldn't understand why he didn't see a reason to smile right now like? We're literally walking alive! Yeah, walking instead of driving, but alive!

"Uh, what's with the long face girl?" you asked, trying to spread your happiness.

He didn't respond.

As you got closer to the city, your patience was running thinner. The big ass backpack you had on kept slipping cause one of the straps was fucked up, causing you to have to constantly shift it upwards. It was reallllyyyyy starting to tick you off. You felt like a middle schooler who hasn't learned it's cooler to just bring a folder and chewed up pencil to school. It was also heavy as fuck with a ton of random bullshit like Joel's Linda Ronstadt CD's and Ellie's nerd ass comic books. Look, you were all for physical media, but you were also all about setting the bag on fire and catapulting it Ancient Rome style for another raider's battle. You kept this to yourself until then, though, like mama's lil secret <3.

Now in the city, you guys took a shortcut through some random building. You weren't sure it was a smart shortcut, cause it's a random building, but you were too exhausted to really gaf and ask. Plus, Joel didn't seem in the mood. He never was.

You were all creeping through the abandoned, smelly, rotting, moldy hallways, finding out it used to be a dispensary, and thought you could find some, you know, good loot or whatever. So you mentioned to Joel and Ellie that'd you look around and split off. Joel knew you were going to look for any scraps of weed like a raccoon feign, (your blueberry vape died during the battle)

You turned a corner, into a room, then looked around carefully. The place seemed pretty empty, so your guard? Very down.

"Slippppppping I'm slippingggggg," said the bag.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God," you said through gritted teeth, feeling a rise of deep anger. You violently thrusted it back on your shoulder, sore from the weight as you turned a corner. "Fucking dumbass back pack -"

You then hit the wall, as you were too distracted and fixated on the bag.

"Oh fuck," you said, rubbing your head. You looked up.

"OH FUCK!"

It wasn't a wall, it was actually the fupa of a giant bloater. You stood, petrified, stunned - almost collapsing onto the ground from the fear that plummeted into you - you were Wendy Williams as the Statue of Liberty.

Then, it burped, just staring down at you.

"AY DIOS MIO!!!!"

Like a cartoon, you jumped in the air, turned the other way and hauled absolute ASS out of there.

"GUYS!!!! GUYS, WE GOT A FLOATER!!!!!!" you screamed, running and running, doing what you perhaps always seemed to do best.

It started to chase you, it's fee fi fo fum ass stomps echoing from behind. This was some temple run ass shit.

"Feee....Fi.....Fo.....Fummmm.....," the bloater's steps said.

You then felt that all too familiar feeling, down there. And not the good kind. You had to shit. That bloater? Yeah. Scared you so much it made your butthole say,

"I need to shit."

The anxiety of 1. a bloater, 2. your need to go shit, and 3. you not being able to locate neither Joel or Ellie, filled you with such dread. You really did now gaf.

"Feeeeee....Fiiiii.....Foooooo.....Fuuuuuummmm....."

"GUYS??!?! GUYS LIKE WHERE THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL?!?!? NO LIKE FOR REAL?!?!?!"

Every thought raced through your mind - did they die? Did they abandoned you? Or worse, did they stop somewhere to eat WITHOUT you????

"Feeeeeeeeeeee....Fiiiiiii.....Fooooooo.....Fuuuuuuuuuuummmm....."

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod," you rambled, holding one hand on your ass to keep the shit in and the other on that backpack strap.

"Slipping I'm slipping again!!!!" the bag said.

"OhmygodIHATETHISFUCKASSBACKPACK!!!!!" you screamed, then proceeded to grab it and yeet it full force at the bloater's fupa.

The power of your thrust was so monstrous it caused the bloater to fly mid-air backwards for several feet and land right through a glass window.

You didn't stop to check it out, now instead enjoying the free weight literally off your back and your faster paced running. Those Lightening McQueen Crocs were now in full force, in sports mode and ready to go. With every step, the sounds of tiny yet serious little engines squeaked out from below the heel.

You then spotted the pair, and to your relief they hadn't died, left you, or were eating. No, instead they were huddled in a corner, crouched down and holding their fingers to their mouth. It looked as though they were telling you to be quiet.

"Do you guys want me to be quiet?" you asked. At that moment, Joel's spirit died. He let his head fall in general disappointment.

Turns out, an entire group of clickers were in the room next door, overstimulated, triggered and ready to pounce, triggered from your maniacal distant screaming.

"Ohhh," you mouthed, nodding overtly your head in full understanding. You crept on over, now huddled with them.

"Where's your bag?" Ellie whispered.

"What bag?" you asked, then looking away as if disinterested. You thought the best way to explain the absence of the bag was to gaslight them into thinking there was no bag in the first place. "So what now?"

"Joel?" Ellie asked.

Joel thought for a moment. "We're going to walk across the room, quietly and slowly to the exit on the other side. No fighting, no shooting," he whispered.

"Okay lieutenant," you said, biting your tongue like a white mom. This was again your attempt at flirting but it didn't work. You really needed to better your timing.

You three began to creep down the hallway, and at first it was working great, up until two random stray clicker girls were hanging out at the exit doors.

You three stopped, Joel thought for a moment on how to handle this.

You couldn't stop. You still needed to shit, and you needed to shit now. You felt your asshole gaping for air, knowing that a fart was the last thing needed now. You held that shit in, but alas some things cannot be held in forever....

"Joel," you whispered in his ear, "I like, have to shit, bad. Like, emergency. Can we speed this up?"

He heard you and decided to ignore you.

He took out his gun, then turned to you both. "I'm gonna shoot, but then you two need to run through those doors. Don't stop and don't look back."

You two nodded.

He aimed, but at that moment, you had no control.

You couldn't hold her in anymore.

This was it.

You can't control nature's course.

You farted.

And he shoted.

But your fart was like a silencer? It worked? It was so subtle and swift, and its duration lasted long enough for two shots that the clickers took it as another one of their co-clickers farting.

The two fungi bitches dropped dead and nothing followed.

"Did you just fart?" Joel asked, breaking the silence.

"No, no - that was the bloater?" you turned behind, again using the gaslighting tactic. He looked behind, too, confused, and since you knew that bloater was probably busy reading comic books and listening to Linda Ronstadt some ways away, you thought it best to move on.

"So like we gonna go orrrr....?" you asked.

"We need to run," Joel said.

"Don't need to tell me twice!" you said before hightailing outta there, your Crocs doing wonders, and leaving them in the dust, (it was actually asbestos).

Running? Running was what you did best. It was so basic, so innate, there was really nothing to it. You always thought, had it not been for all these setbacks in your life, these side quests that just kept side questing you, you lowkey could've been a runner? Not the crackhead Flaka drug ones but, the other type of runner. But oh well c'est la vie.

You three made it out and ran for what seemed like miles and miles (it was across the street), before you stopped from the force of your imminent shit. Joel and Ellie ran past you, not waiting to save your ass, and climbed down some rubble. You tapped back in.

"Joel! JOEL!"

He turned to you, flustered and annoyed as the group of zombies echoed behind y'all like the sounds of minions.

"WHAT?!"

"I CAN'T CLIMB DOWN!"

"YES YOU CAN?!"

You looked down the rubble - you theoretically could, but didn't wanna make one wrong move and ledge your asshole open. Of course, though, you couldn't tell him that, boys aren't supposed to know that girls shit. So you hoped that maybe you acting as a girlie who needed a guy's unnecessary chivalry could so hit right now. He wasn't biting.

"WHAT?" he yelled, literally less than three feet below you.

It wasn't gonna work. The zombies incoherent ramblings grew louder and louder behind you. Looks like plan B - you needed to give him no choice.

He started to run back towards Ellie, before you stopped him.

"JOEL! CATCH MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Like a baby who's dropped into the pool for the first time to 'learn how to swim' without any sense of physical agency or control, like a manic person running with their hands up and mouth agape, like a true damsel in distress, you hauled yourself off of that three-foot ledge, aiming for Joel's heroic yet un-consenting arms, all in a slo-mo.

Joel literally had no choice but to catch you, so he did, and your fat ass made him fall backwards onto the ground where it really fucked up his 50 year old, seniors discount breakfast-ass back.

"Oh fuck," you said, like a wounded grandma.

Joel groaned. You two looked at one another in the face, quite close, cause you were literally on top of him? Like omg this is so rom-com! Enemies to lover's type! Except you were always his enemy and you always thought he'd be your lover <3

Time stood still as you looked into one another's eyes. It was as if the whole world had stopped, and it was only you two - you inspected every wrinkle, gray hair, blackhead - he was beautiful.

"Uh, guys! We need to go?!" Ellie shouted.

"Oh shit I forgot -" you said and bounced right up, remembering your shit, and back to leaving.

You three were back to running, since it was not only your favorite activity but a common pastime in apocalyptic worlds. You were up ahead, again fueled by your natural instincts needing to shit, its adrenaline pumping through your veins as if you were the Flaka fungi people. It caused you to momentarily ponder - is the real reason why all these zombies are irritable is because they need to shit but can't, so they've been backed up for YEARS? A shiver went down your neck at just the thought.

You turned a corner between buildings, before stopping again in your tracks. A whole fucking HERD OF THEM BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!

You were frozen, petrified, stunned, silenced. Your face couldn't help but go into its natural fight or flight state - the soy face. And a mega one at that.

Joel stopped, looked at you frightened.

"What? What is it?!" he asked desperately.

But there was no time. Cause guess what? There's now bandits!!!

Then THEY started to chase you. Fuck the clickers. Fuck an iClicker!

You couldn't help but giggle. You couldn't help but be amused. Why are a bunch of bandits chasing a girl in SpongeBob shorts? Like they think you got the goods like that?! What's a girl with Spongebob shorts got? A probable yeast infection?

You didn't realize it, but your giggles were actually audible. You sounded like Pops from Regular Show.

"I'm just a girl, like whaaaaaa?" you giggled and shouted, running still. "Like, leave me alone what the fuck?!?!? This is crazy omg!!!"

Even Joel was confused, running beside you, thinking, 'why is this bitch giggling?'

Even the bandits took notice and got weirded out. So weirded out they actually stopped chasing y'all. You were treating an ambush like a frolicking sesh in the garden.

You supposed it was your brain trying to protect you, seeing that you were in actual danger of being killed. Maybe you genuinely couldn't believe it? Who knows. (I'm not a psychologist I'm sam st. Clair)

You all finally made it to a supermarket, where you boarded yourselves up once you scoped the place out. It was nighttime now, hella dark out and you couldn't guess shit where y'all were at. You just relied that Joel knew, it was your default since he's the self-proclaimed Rick of this little posse y'all got.

Anyway, you three split off, maybe because you all were tired of all the socializing you guys did back there. You didn't mind being alone, it gave you the opportunity to fart without anyone around to sniff or judge, or both. Speaking of farting, you took your shit the moment you slammed your ass on the toilet in the back, where the manager's office was. Shit was monstrous and you were sure you might've contracted some of the fungi since you were so determined to sit down that you didn't notice spores all up on the seat. But oh well. Your ass did start to itch, but you relied on your body to figure it out.

You got so bored you decided to walk up and down the smelly aisles, then found a pack of untouched, one of a kind, rare finds, vintage ZooPals. You remembered that Joel was making dinner, so thought these would be perfect!

You grabbed them fast, then went to present them to him. He was not so impressed.

"Joel, check it," you said, acting as if you were Christian Bale in American Psycho showing off your business card.

"That's extra weight," he said, dismissively and went back to cooking the beans.

"Are you kidding me?! This is some fine China right here," you protested. "Your boomer ass might be having a dementia episode or something not remembering the sheer value of what it is to eat off a ZooPal's plate."

His demeanor got sadder. You feared you might've crossed the line with the dementia comment.

"No," he mumbled solemnly. "They remind me of my daughter."

Your face dropped.

"Yikes. Sorry about that luv," (when you felt awkward you opted to go British). You then walked away. Best avoid that <3

That night you guys ate the beans and left in the morning, since Joel said apparently a supermarket isn't the best place to hide. You weren't sure why - if they carried ZooPal's, who know what else they could be hiding?

You kept walking down the street until you found a car that looked recently used. Joel tried starting it with the cables and shit whatever they do in the movies when they jumpstart a car. Red wire blue wire green fish two fish one fish blue fish.

"Can I drive?" you asked. You weren't sure what got into you, you literally don't have a license. Not that traffic violations mattered in these parts, but because you couldn't even tell left from right.

He gave you a look. "Fine."

"That was easy," you said.

As he began fixing it up, Ellie pointed to an object on the dashboard.

"What's that?" she asked.

You looked.

Oh no.

Not on my car.

"No. Not on my fucking car."

You grabbed that octopus stuffed animal dashboard bullshit, swung and threw that shit so far that it broke a nearby high-rise apartment window and exploded. It was a bomb and you inadvertently just saved everyone's life.

"How'd you know that was a bomb?" Joel asked, incredulously.

You knew the answer was that you didn't know it was a bomb, it was cause you actually hated nothing more on this earth than those octopus dashboard plushies, because every bad driver in a BMW happens to have one, so you thought you should go with the flow.

"I told you. I worked for Escobar. I can smell a bomb," you said.

"Wow. That's a crazy nose you have. It's like your superpower," Ellie said, geeking out.

"If it really was a superpower, I'd been able to stop Oppenheimer," you said.

She didn't get it.

Joel looked up, again, confused why you would say that in the first place.

"Sorry, it's before your time," you said, moving on quickly.

The car started and you three hopped in, ready to drive y'alls asses OUT OF HERE! You were excited, feeling that this was gonna be like a little roadtrip movie.

It was only two miles since you guys have driven and you had to contain your giddiness. Joel definitely wasn't happy and Ellie was to herself in the back reading her nerd ass comics. You just looked crazy laughing to yourself. You were just looking forward to the roadtrip vibes, FINALLY you guys found an actual working car so no more walking no more dilapidated backs no more annoying backpacks and oh shit there's a spider.

"OH SHIT THERE'S A SPIDER!!!" you freaked, seeing it dance slowly from the roof, hanging onto its web and literally three inches away from your face. You began to move yourself away, moving the steering wheel with it and thus moving the whole car off the road.

"Okay, calm down I got it -" Joel said.

"No Joel it's that I can't dude no Joel get it GET IT!" you demanded, feeling like an entity just possessed you with how deep and demented your voice got from the fear.

"Just keep the damn car still I can't grab it!"

He really couldn't, the more you turned the car, the more the spider swayed into your face, causing you to turn the car more and causing Joel to have trouble actually getting it. He was getting frustrated.

"Joel, we're gonna crash!" Ellie cried, trying to hide behind the seat.

The screaming and shouting also wasn't helping the vibe at all.

"I can't dude no Joel it's that I can't BRO FUCK! GET THAT BITCH!" you kept crying, "I'M NOT JOKING BRO!"

"KEEP DAMN STILL -"

Y'all crashed.

The random light post just HAPPENED to be in the way. Thankfully you guys weren't hurt, you just fucked up the car bad. And Joel was pissed. When he's mad, he's quiet. And he was QUIET.

"Well that was short," Ellie said as you three just stood looking at the demolished car. "So what now?"

The 'what now' was actually that you guys found a safe house literally less than a mile away. God finally gave y'all a little break!

It was down the road, in a little suburb. It seemed to have belonged to others, since it was all boarded up and defensed up and the only sign of life left in the house was a infected fungi girl strapped to a chair in the bedroom, placed in front of a tv screen playing a VHS tape of Friends.

You thought it best to put it out of its misery, so you turned off the tv.

You patted her on the back, caring and lovingly as she snarled at you, "No one deserves to be forced to sit and watch Friends, not even in the apocalypse."

You closed the door, leaving her at peace and again, out of her her torture.

Time passed. Joel was about to start cooking beans and Ellie left to go take a much needed power nap in the guest bedroom. You offered Joel to rest and that you'd cook instead. Little did he know how much of an exclusive this was with you, bitch you didn't cook. But you felt pretty bad for the whole spider thing and thought, hey, what's a little cooking? What's a little meal prep?

Joel said his very weary 'thanks' and went to rest on the couch, while you went into the kitchen. He looked genuinely happy to see you take the responsibility. And you were genuinely happy in other places too at the idea of you cooking for him <3 and Ellie ofc. And yourself, who could forget your fat ass?

Time passed, maybe a little too long of a time to make beans, when you had finally finished. Though you were pretty sure all the garnishes left in the kitchen were expired and no, those are not flakes of oregano but flakes of mold, they actually came out pretty good. You prepped three beautiful plates, on the fine China (ZooPal's, Ellie got the duck plate, Joel the ladybug, and you the frog), and went to push the kitchen door to present your dish as if you were battling Bobby Flay on that one kitchen show with the other woman with white hair that looks like she'd be one of the emotions from Inside Out.

"Dinner's ready! -" you said cheerily, until you realized - it wasn't just Joel who would see your dish. Not Ellie. Not even Bobby Flay - it was the raiders. Again. They were all up in your living room, def crossing the maximum capacity. They just couldn't seem to get enough of you and you didn't want to come off as narcissistic but guessed your personality had to be addictive.

You all took a minute, assessing the situation. Actually, you ALL took that minute. You just stood there, plates filled with beans, and they stood there, guns filled with bullets, with Joel and Ellie on their knees with their wrists tied behind their backs.

The silence kept going.

You just stood there.

"Wait, so -," your bimbo ass said, very Trisha-esque, not even able to come to form a conclusion. You were just so confused. "Wait -"

And there it is again.

Someone tackled you. AGAIN.

Not only did your body go flying underneath the massive weight that just sumo slammed itself into you, but so did the beans. The beans? Yeah, they were airborne. The ZooPal plates? In flight.

The mass was actually a man who was attempting to zip tie your wrists now that he had you pinned down. However, he underestimated your irritability when you were hungry.

Mama's hungry.....and mama wants her beans.....and what mama wants...........mama GETS.........

You had just about had enough.

You threw him off with such strength that could only come with a girl's rage. A rage so deep, so visceral and seemingly uncontrollable, one that could set you back on all the self-help and patience exercises that you've practiced. No. That's it. She's gonna pop, and just like the shit from earlier - some things just cannot be held in forever.

You rose up, looking briefly over at the man who's back slammed against the window, where he then tumbled and tumbled to who knows what fate, but a fate just the same as that bloater earlier.

The raiders were too aghast at your abilities.

"I just, I can't," you started, panicky. "I can't hold it in anymore."

You almost started crying from the mania. You looked very unstable, cause you were.

You took a deep breath, but knew one thing - you've been holding this anger, this wrath in for so long, now it's time for her to be released.

One of the raiders caught on and began to back up. His buddies followed, scared, almost like watching a Jack in the box as a grown adult, but that childlike fear still imprinted in your innermost being.

"Hey listen, we'll just get out of -"

" - do you KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO FIND ANY FOOD OUT HERE WITH NO FUCKING MOLD ON IT?! YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO COOK ROOM TEMPERATURE FUCKING BEANS ON A DINGY LAPTOP RUNNING ON SIMS 3?! IT TAKES A LONG FUCKING TIME!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW HUNGRY I'VE BEEN?!?!?! I'M THREE DAYS LATE ON MY FUCKING PERIOD AND I'VE BEEN FEIGNING FOR SOME FUCKING BEANS!!!! BEANS, BITCH!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW DESPERATE I'VE GOTTA BE FOR FOOD TO WANT BEANS?!?! I'M CRAVING ROOM TEMPERATURE BEANS LIKE A SOLDIER IN THE CIVIL FUCKING WAR!!!!! - (you lost them) - DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS?!??! THAT'S LIKE, ONE OF THE BIG DEAL WARS!?!??! WHATEVER AND NOW MY BEANS ARE ON THE GROUND LIKE DO I LOOK LIKE TRAVIS KELCE?! DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH TO BE TACKLED ONTO THE FUCKING GROUND??!?!! DO I HAVE A SIGN ON ME THAT SAYS I'M A QUARTER BACK?!?! NO BITCH I WANT A QUARTER POUNDER!!!! AND NOW LOOK!!! 'UH, GUYS, WE HAVE COMPANY!!!!!'"

After your spew that gave you the same catharsis akin to rapping a Nicki Minaj verse word for word, they put their hands up in surrender and backed on out, suddenly becoming overly-friendly while you followed them out to the porch. You had the same aura as a a 'get off my property or I'll shoot' type.

"Sorry for disturbing you, ma'am."

"Have a nice day, Ms., sorry about that."

"Lovely house and beans."

"Have a good day."

"Bye bye now."

"THANK YOU, YES!! FUCKING LEAVE!!!! RED-COAT, QUARTERING ASS FUGLY ASS BITCHES!! OR Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS EITHER?!?! GO FIND A BOOK ON WARS THAT DON'T INVOLVE TOILET PAPER AND LEARN ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BEANS YOU FUCKING SKID MARKS!!!!"

"Great plates."

"I like what you did with your hair, ma'am. Very unique."

"AND STAY OUT!!!!!! THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND I WILL NOT BE HARASSED!!!!!!"

You turned back around into the house, overhearing one of their conversations as they got farther and farther (not only are you partially deaf, but you have super-hearing).

"I think that's the same girl from earlier, with the weird giggles from earlier?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. The Spongebob shorts, remember?"

"Oh, fuck. You're right."

You couldn't help but not smile hard. You like, lowkey did that? No violence or anything. MLK was lowkey right.

But that smile soon fell once you got back into the house, remembering what literally just happened. Seeing your hard work splattered all over the floor was like seeing your own world end. By then, Joel was already untied and had just finished Ellie's.

"That was INSANE!" Ellie said, excitedly. "Did you see their faces?! That was so sick!"

"Thanks, Ellie. I'm lowkey gonna cry now, so those words of positive affirmation do help."

"Wait, don't," Joel said, oddly caring.

"Of course I'm gonna cry! I'M FUCKING HUNGRY oh my god what's that?"

Joel had reached into his bag, pulling out three very familiar containers.

"I'd, uh, hope we could be eatin' this, too," he said sheepishly, as he revealed they were perfect condition, ready-to-eat, beautifully displayed fat rolls of sushi.

You at the very moment became a belieber in spontaneous combustion, because you'd never been so hot so quick, it was just too hot. Joel was too hot. Sushi was too hot too, and he got you sushi?! That's like double the hot! This is Hot Ones DA BOMB!!

"Oh my god, Joel - you didn't," you held your hands to your face, in such happiness and surprise. It looked as if Joel had just proposed to you and the ring was a singular spicy tuna roll.

Joel smiled softly, a rarity around these parts. You found that glimpse of another side of him so interesting, intriguing - attractive. You always knew he was hot, and knew you wouldn't say no to your bestowed Rick, but DAMN like Kendrick's 2017 hit-album he was fine as FUCK right now.

"Contain it girl, contain it," the voices told yourself.

"How'd you get this?!" you asked, taking it as he reached them out for you. You inspected them, you weren't sure if it was because you were hallucinating from the hunger, but they looked exactly like Studio Ghibli food, your fat ass was about to feast. You felt the salivation like those rabies victims outside.

"I'm a smuggler. It's my job," he said, which you swore was flirting-ly but unfortunately didn't have any of your girls around to tell this too and get their opinion :( so you decided to live with your delusion that it was!

You wanted to kiss him so bad for that, you could've cried. And you did.

You three sat around the campfire, eating, talking, laughing, all good vibes. Ellie had finally tried sushi for the first time and loved it, as you went on to explain the days of the Barbenheimer summer. (You thought she needed to dip her toes into Oppenheimer lore somehow already.)

"Hey, sorry you guys had to see me like that," you said, finishing your roll. "I just get like, really annoyed when people stop me from eating food when I'm hungry. Like, that's me time, you know? It's personal."

"What are you talking about?! That was so good! They were shitting their pants!" asked Ellie.

"Lol me," you spat. You hoped they didn't catch that.

"You - you really scared them off there," mustered Joel, impressed.

"Thanks," you said, taking whatever compliment that man could give to heart.

"If only we had you during our shootout, back at the Target," Joel said. "I thought you were a runner, first time I saw you."

"Why's that?"

"You had all that," he motioned to his face, "red stuff, all on your mouth and chin. Thought it was blood."

"Oh, that was Chef Boyardee! You know him?"

Did he know him.

Did he know him?

Girl he was a single father once of course he knew him.

And what else did he know?

He knew he was in love with you, in love with Y/N...

"I, uh, love -"

"- Joel loves Chef Boyardee. He got all excited when he found a can, once," Ellie said, interrupting him.

"Because that's what the Chef intended with his creation," you said, not really one hundred percent sure what that meant. And neither did Joel or Ellie. Anyway,

Time passed, you guys cleaned up and Ellie had gone to sleep.

You and Joel were sat on the swinging bench on the porch outside, passing your blueberry fume back and forth like a blunt (it actually wasn't dead, contrary to popular belief). He wasn't really a fan, but didn't want to tell you no.

You'd been out for some time, enjoying the warm (lowkey hot) breeze and of course, Joel's company. He was a man of few words, unfortunately, but it did make him hotter. Like, why so mysterious?

"So how'd you really get that sushi?" you asked, after some unimportant small talk.

"When we were at the supermarket," he said. "Wanted to surprise you."

"That's so hot," you said immediately.

"What?"

"It's so hot right now, that's what I meant," you spat and took your fume from him, taking in an unnecessarily giant hit.

"Well, wanna go back inside?"

"Nah."

"Okay?"

Another silence.

"You know, I wanted to uh, thank you, for being nice with Ellie and all," he said, "it's uh, it's nice."

"No probs. She's funny. Reminds me of a younger TikTok-obsessed cousin, you know? The kind you're excited to see on Christmas?"

"Yeah, yeah. I understand," he said. He didn't.

The silence continued. And you had to admit, it was getting awkward. Something needed to happen. And your pervert mind knew what would be perfect right now -

" - My daughter loved Chef Boyardee," Joel then said, really out of nowhere.

You turned to him. For a moment, you genuinely forgot he had a daughter. You didn't really like comforting people when you were horned up, but there was no escaping this. Who knows if he's ever said this before? Maybe you're the one - the special one - that gets to hear this exclusive tidbit. So you complied. Sometimes people needed a shoulder to lean on, so you decided right there and then, (and apparently Joel too), that you'd be that shoulder...

"That's crazy," you said. So little words, yet so much meaning.

"It is," he said, smoking the fume.

"My ex-sugar daddy, the guy that I told you about, do you remember?" you asked, he nodded his head. He did remember. "Well, yeah, he actually had a health scare once. Chef Boyardee, specifically the ravioli, was all he ate when he was separated from his wife. She used to cook all these real pasta dishes, so when he was living on his own he was pretty much incapable of cooking anything besides a bowl of cereal. He just ate Chef Boyardee ravioli all day and his cholesterol went up. It was crazy."

"Huh."

"Yeah. And it was kinda weird, you know, because he was Italian. I didn't think Italians accepted the Chef as one of their own."

"I guess he did."

"Yeah. I miss him."

Joel turned to you.

You realized your mistake. You DON'T bring up an ex on the first date hello?!?! HELLO (@ALL THE BOYS IN THE WORLD HELLO?!?!?!)

"I mean, I miss the old world, you know. Like, how you miss your daughter," you explained. "Association and all."

"I'm sorry if I'm a little, you know," he said, "If I don't come off very - personable. You've, uh, been a great help to us both. To me."

"Of course! It's okay. It's kinda hard to keep manners going when more than half of the population are demented cannibals and the other wanna rob you all the time."

You both smiled softly. You provided him the warmth he needed, the warmth that could always greet him at the end of the day, reminding him that there's always room for warmth. You are his sun, his warmth. You're his heating pad, the warmth of a heating pad.

"I don't, I don't say this much. Not at all, actually, not until you brought up the 'association' thing, but - you remind me of the old world," he said.

Your ass couldn't help but smile.

"Oh my god Joel that's like so sweet!" you said, before jumping on him to give him a big hug! He hugged tightly back, he then threw you back on the bench and you felt his member pressed against your leg. He then began kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fought for dominance but you let him win. He eventually started going down on you, taking your "I <3 ORLANDO" Spongebob-themed PJ shorts off, and started kissing your labia.

"This...this is a labia," he said, his southern drawl coming out in full force.

"Oh my god this is just like my fic!"

"What?"

"Nothing!"

You lifted your legs as he began to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He held your foot up and raised himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes were closed, ready to take the man from Austin, Texas in. This is it. No Flaka girls, no fungus-infested toilets, no Chef Boyardee-obsessed raiders, nothing - just you and Joel.

Hope you enjoyed!

xoxo,

~Sam St. Clair

P.S. - I'm not actually dead! I've been in hospital. So, almost. I've now learned that sanding your tires down to make them look cleaner and smoother and prettier is actually quite dangerous.

xoxo, again,

~Sam St. Clair

#fanfiction #imagine #fluff #x reader #xreader #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #tlou joel #tlou fanfiction #last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut

37 notes · View notes

karoochui · 9 months

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I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

#my asks #binary resurgence: round 2 au #binary resurgence

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thatonebirdwrites · 2 months

Text

This chapter is long. It covers Kara meeting Jack and Sam for the first time. Which means Sam enters the timeline much sooner than in Canon. So readers can chew on that. It also starts Sam's Tale. Meaning we're entering the horror sections. Then we'll dig deeper into what the Superfriends decide to do in the present time to aid our Trio in their healing journey.

I admit, my homelessness experiences played a role in how I wrote Sam's Tale. I did not sugarcoat it.

As always, I have done my best to portray these experiences thoughtfully and well. My end-notes include thoughts, research, and life experiences to help readers better understand DID, C-PTSD, panic, and other heavy topics.

EXCERPT:

Sam Arias makes perhaps the worst decision of her life at age fifteen. A charismatic boy literally sweeps her off her feet at a party, and she learns that sex with boys is not really her jam. It’s not bad. She definitely can be attracted to guys, but the sex is just not that great.

So when over a month later nausea sets in and she misses her period, she starts to panic. She can’t be seen buying a pregnancy test. Her mother is already on her ass for going to the party instead of studying. Perhaps a terrible plan, but she has no recourse. She goes to the store, stuffs the test into her pants, and buys a candy bar. Her first theft and hopefully her last.

The test is positive.

Sam sits in the stall at her high school and stares at the test. She blinks a few times. Closes her eyes and counts to twenty, but each time she looks, it’s definitely positive.

She’s fucked. Majorly fucked.

She rubs her face and wishes she could call Jack, but he’s in England and they’ve only ever written each other since the penpal program matched them. Sometimes she’ll make a mixtape for him, and he’ll send his own. Even though he gave her a number, international charges would have her mother yelling at her for wasting money.

So she calls the only other person she knows might help.

“Yo, Sam, what are you doing calling during school?” Lucy Lane’s voice ripples into her phone. “Isn’t there like rules or something—”

“Luce, I’m pregnant.” Sam puts her face in her hand. The test’s plastic feels cold against her forehead.

“Oh shit.”

Sam isn’t entirely sure what she expects from the friend she’d made at a theater camp. Sam preferred the calculus of the mapping out the set and its measurements to acting. Lucy quickly took her under her wing, and Sam learned she’d ran off with some girl to National City, broke up, and now builds theater sets. Sam isn’t sure if Lucy ever graduated high school or not. Talking of her past isn’t a thing Lucy does.

So okay, maybe she does expect Lucy to pull a ridiculous feat like sneak her off school grounds without anyone catching them.

Sam doesn’t question it. She’s learned better. When Lucy sets her mind on something, she makes it happen, no matter how ridiculous the steps she takes to get there.

The wind sweeps Sam’s curtain of brown hair back, while Lucy shouts ridiculous jokes over the roar of her truck and the loud rap music. Lucy pulls onto the highway entrance ramp, probably way above the speed limit. Sam has no idea where they’re going, but who cares? Her mother is going to kill her when she finds out Sam’s pregnant, so why not take a moment for herself?

Lucy pulls into the Sierra State Park and drives up a narrow road to the mountain peak’s parking lot. She pulls to a stop, cranks up the brake, and turns to Sam. “So, uh, you really are…?”

Sam hands her the test.

“Damn. Was the sex good at least?”

Sam shakes her head.

“Well fuck. That sucks. I’m sorry, girl. Look, there’s a few things we can do.” Lucy taps her driving wheel, nibbles on her lips, then nods. “I’m getting out the beer.” She throws open her door and dives into the bed of her trunk where her cooler always is.

Sam steps out and walks to the edge of the gravel lot. Benches form a train of seats that overlooks a massive cliff. To her left, a trail winds up a rocky expanse to the fairly flat peak. She can see National City in all its glory with the ocean beyond, sparkling in the noon sun.

“Beer or Sprite?”

“Beer but only one.” Sam needs to take the edge off her sizzling nerves.

Lucy hands her a beer and guides her to a bench. She takes a swig and sighs. “So, uh, you got two choices. Abortion or keep it.”

Sam sniffs the beer and wrinkles her nose. “Couldn’t get the good lager?”

“Hey!” Lucy pretends to look affronted. “Best stuff I could buy on my stupid theater salary. Just you wait until I sign up for the Airforce. I’ll come home with the best beer you’ll ever taste.”

Sam hates the idea of Lucy going off to the military, but her friend seems determined to follow in her father’s footsteps. Considering how good she is at hand-to-hand combat already, Sam could see her excelling there, but it hurts. She’s one of Sam’s closest friends. She takes a long swig of the beer and grimaces. “Probably bad for any baby,” she mutters.

“Look, you don’t got to keep it.”

“And what if I do?” Sam snaps.

Lucy holds up her hands, the beer in her left. “Hey, I’m not saying you can’t keep it. But you’re young.”

“And you’re not?”

“I’m two years your elder, thank you very much.” Lucy takes another swig and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. “Look, I’m just saying being a teenage mother is hard. You sure you wanna sign up for that?”

Sam wants to scream at her shitty luck more than anything else. “How much time do I have to decide?” she says instead.

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #Sam Arias #Jack Spheer #lucy lane #lois lane #superfriends #samantha arias #We're gonna dig into Sam's past which canon only gave us inconsistent glimpses #So let's goooo #Sam's Tale is the third set of tales in this fic #Lena's and Kara's Tales we've gone through but don't worry more of their tales will appear

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sirthisisa-wendys · 1 year

Note

Hi! I absolutely adore your works! Can I ask for one where you give benkei head at a place like a cinema or something 👉🏼👈🏼

Yes, yes, you can. Shit I got carried away describing all of this... MAY THE QUEEN OF KEIZO ARASHI SMUT RETURN TO HER THRONE

Nosebleed Seats: Keizo Arashi x Fem!Reader

wc: 1,5k

tw: nsfw with *plot*

masterlist

It had all started as a joke. But when you get into the empty theater, holding onto your boyfriend's hand for dear life, your anxiety spikes.

"Maybe we shouldn't..."

Keizo stops on the stairs to the back of the theater and eyes you curiously. His blue eyes sparkle with mischief, even though you're not sure of yourself anymore.

"You chickening out on me, princess?"

You clench your thighs at the sound of his husky voice. Sure, you might be chickening out, but what if someone did show up to the nine a.m. showing of "Scarface"?

"No one in their right mind would wake up that early and want to see this movie," Keizo had laughed, taking his phone from your hand and hitting the "purchase tickets" button.

"What if someone sees?" you hiss, hurrying past the empty rows as if people were there and listening. "Movie theatre employees walk around the place all the time."

"So you think some kid is going to bother to walk up all of these stairs just to make sure--"

"You never know!" Keizo laughs, moving toward the middle of the row.

"I'm sure we'll be fine. And if you really don't want to do this, we don't have to. Scarface is a decent film, in my opinion." You hesitate once more, watching your boyfriend settle into a seat comfortably and take a sip of his (your) drink. Keizo waves you over, titling his head at you as you stand on the end of the row.

"You want to leave?"

"No, I just..." You pause again. Keizo stands, holding the drink carefully. When he stands in front of you, you look away sheepishly, noting the fabric on the chairs in front of you were fraying and that the air had a familiar aroma of stale popcorn.

"If it's not an enthusiastic 'yes'," Keizo whisper, catching your chin between his forefinger and thumb.

"Then it's a 'no,'" you finish, exhaling gently.

"Let's go home, yeah?" When he says those words, a burst of courage floods through you.

"No." You statement catches your boyfriend off-guard. His eyes blink a few times before he echoes,

"No?"

"No. Let's stay." He stands there for a moment more, trying not to question your motives. But it comes out anyways.

"I'm not trying to convince you--"

"Middle seats," you urge him, pointing. "Right there is good." The unsure way with which Keizo eyes eyou does nothing to your resolve. You stand there, flat-footed, finger still pointing at the seats. "Go."

"Baby--"

"You want your dick sucked?" you say, albeit a little too loudly.

"Yes," Keizo hisses, grabbing your hand. "Fine, fine." You don't miss the smile that comes to his face as he turns around as if he were suddenly a kid in a candy shop. You both sit in the middle, directly below the projector that the trailers are playing on.

"Not until the movie starts," you murmur and Keizo nods, taking the Skittles you offered him from your hand and tossing them all back.

"Ew," you comment, but he shrugs, smirking.

"I don't separate my colors like you, baby," is all he adds to his chewing sounds.

It feels like forever until the lights go down and the movie screen flicks on, the old film giving you a sense of nostalgia. It's even longer - at least, it seems that way - until you feel brave enough to sneak your hand down your boyfriend's waistband. Keizo shifts a bit lower in his seat and exhales slowly, each breath straining from his throat as you palm his half-erect cock.

When you pull his length out of his sweatpants, the tip is already leaking pre-cum and shining in the flicker of the scenes on the screen. You lick your lips in preparation to taste it, to let the saltiness of it bloom on your tongue and awaken the lust already rousing from its long sleep.

But you choose to draw out your desires, stroking him and listening to his labored breathing. "You're doing me dirty..." he breathes, just as a character on-screen says,

"Well, you don't know shit 'bout chicks, Chico. When they see this, they know. They go crazy. They don't resist me."

Finally, you lean in and ghost your mouth over Keizo's cock. He almost jolts out of his seat, his hands keeping a firm grip on the armrests. "C'mon, baby," he pleads, but you only dart your tongue out to lick at the ample pre-cum waiting for you. "Not playing fair."

"No such thing," you whisper softly, each breath tickling his skin. It seems Keizo wants to leap up and take you, but he keeps himself under control just long enough for you to suck on his tip once, then let it pop free from your mouth.

You do it repeatedly, and by the time you're good and ready to cup his balls and go to town, Keizo is panting and sweating. He tries to focus on the movie to keep his mind from going insane, but you take him into your mouth slowly - inch by inch - letting your tongue relish in every ridge on the way down.

A hand knots in your hair, not pressing down but holding you there as a sign of pleasure. "Yes," Keizo hums, his body relaxing as you go down his shaft. "Just like that." You can barely make out what's happening on the screen while you suck Keizo's cock, saliva dripping past your lips and smearing all over his thick, veiny shaft. The taste of precum is like manna from heaven, but you choose to keep that pleasure to yourself - Keizo would have plenty of time to hear about how much you enjoyed this later.

"I'm close," he wheezes, and for once, you don't want to hear that. Not when this movie lasted almost three hours, and you're barely an hour in.

You opt to slow down, which seems to frustrate your partner more than excite him. His fingers tense in your hair, but that doesn't urge you to go any faster than you already are.

"Y/n," Keizo whimpers. "Please, baby. Let me finish down that throat."

"Not yet," you reply. You fist his cock and suck on his balls liberally. "I want this to last." The look in Keizo's eyes could kill a thousand men. But it doesn't work for you. "You've got me in here watching a three-hour movie. Might as well savor it, right?"

Keizo doesn't agree, but he groans, leaning even further in his seat. You resume your pattern of sucking him inch by inch, then going a little faster throughout the next twenty minutes. Over and over, Keizo's hands and feet betray his impending orgasm, and each time, you find the willpower to stop.

"...Every dog has his day."

The cock in your hands twitches violently, threatening to erupt with each stroke, each breath, each kiss. But you torture him anyway, smiling even though he can't see you in the darkness.

Finally, Keizo's arms are shaking from restraining himself for so long. His right leg is jumping, and there's very little stopping him from cumming except maybe focusing on the movie. But his thoughts are a blur. All he can think about is cumming. If someone walked in, he'd cum in your mouth anyway, keeping his gaze on the intruder as he did so. But no one comes to rescue him from the torment.

"Ready?" Your voice lifts above the din of the movie, the ra-ta-tat of the guns, the snorting noises, and so many other nuisances. Keizo nods quickly, blood rushing straight to his cock in an attempt to prepare for... whatever.

You don't even speak as you gag on his cock liberally, the sounds of the movie overshadowing your blessed dedication to his pleasure. "Oh shit," Keizo gasps, feeling his toes curl. You place a hand on his stomach, and suddenly, it's over for him.

Hot white flashes burst in front of his eyes, and you feel every single throb and twitch of his cock dumping a massive load of cum into your mouth. You swallow and swallow, but it doesn't seem like there's any end in sight until Keizo chokes out a pained grunt, squeezing his eyes shut and angling his hips a little higher.

Once he begins to go soft, you lick at him a few times, making sure you've cleaned up every single drop. Keizo's hand cups your chin and brings you up for a long, wet kiss to seal the events of the morning.

He tenderly tucks himself back into his pants and sighs, his eyes fluttering.

"Fucking hell," he breathes as you wipe your mouth. "This needs to be a monthly thing."

"Next time it's your turn," is all you say, standing up before the movie's even over.

"Where are you going?" Keizo wonders, standing up despite his confusion.

"I've already seen this movie," you admit brazenly. "Not really a second-time watch for me, though." Keizo's unsure of how to reply, but he follows you anyway, taking your hand in the dark movie theater and guiding you down the stairs, like any gentleman should.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #keizo arashi #keizo arashi x reader #keizo arashi smut

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 4 months

Text

Big-ass Netflix animation news drop yesterday, ahead of Annecy and the release of ULTRAMAN RISING... Netflix is on a lot of shit-lists for a variety of things, including their careless race towards making more animated features but expecting them to be cranked out like it's a factory process or something... But I will say, the feature line-up they revealed yesterday sounds like banger-central. Too bad most of them likely won't see a physical media release, though.

WALLACE & GROMIT feature #2, VENGEANCE MOST FOWL... Coming later this year, featuring Feathers McGraw from THE WRONG TROUSERS... The hype is real.

The last half of 2024 will also be when Netflix debuts Skydance Animation's SPELLBOUND, that long-gestating fantasy picture from SHREK director Vicky Jenson with new Alan Menken-Glen Slater songs... I guess LUCK nuked whatever partnership Skydance, John Lasseter's current studio, had with Apple, although their new show WONDLA is debuting on that platform.

Skydance looks to follow up SPELLBOUND with TANGLED director Nathan Greno's POOKOO, another fantasy tale with otherworldy critters. Only a matter of time when we find out RAY GUNN, Brad Bird's retrofuturistic sci-fi noir whose development history dates aaaaall the way back to the mid-'90s, comes out.

Also curiously, prior to these announcements, Disney Animation director Don Hall (WINNIE THE POOH, BIG HERO 6, RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON, and STRANGE WORLD) has joined the ranks at Skydance. Another director who worked under Lasseter at either WDAS or Pixar, now working for him again. I'm guessing he didn't particularly enjoy directing his last two features at WDAS under Jennifer Lee's stewardship, thus - much like Nathan Greno and Rich Moore - went back to his old pervy boss. Skydance Animation undeniably has a lot of top talent there, and directors of past animation blockbusters, but it really just sucks that it's run by Lasseter. And apparently he's running it just like he did with Pixar and WDAS, just as toxic. He micromanages projects once more and buckles directors under his mandates, like Alessandro Carloni, who was supposed to direct LUCK... But these guys are his favorites, so I presume they'll do fine over there.

Next year sees the release of IN YOUR DREAMS, from directors Alex Woo and Erik Benson. Two total opposite brothers who go to dreamland and try to convince the Sandman to save their parents' failing marriage, sounds promising. We already knew about THE TWITS, and also THE IMAGINARY, which debuts in a few weeks. Three imaginary friends movies in one year, coincidentally the year FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS turns 20... I refuse to process that. I was so big on FOSTER'S back in the day, when I was 12 years old. Speaking of TV cartoons and adaptations of those, THE PLANKTON MOVIE is also on the boards for 2025, continuing the Netflix SpongeBob movie series running alongside the theatrical ones.

I'm also very happy to see that Sony Animation's wild-sounding K-POP: DEMON HUNTERS, from directors Maggie Kang and Chris Appelhans, is underway and will be debuting sometime next year. Sony Animation also revealed a new HOTEL, I mean... MOTEL TRANSYLVANIA series, and are still at work on the GHOSTBUSTERS animated series as well. Since this was all for Netflix-only projects, not a peep on the GHOSTBUSTERS animated movie that's also on the rails. I wish DEMON HUNTERS was heading to theaters, though, that's such a bonkers-looking film that would work great like that. Much like their MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES, but that got re-routed because of COVID, so I get that.

Curiously, no word on THE SHRINKING OF TREEHORN, a book adaptation from director Ron Howard. First thought to be a 2023 release, Netflix picked up the picture in 2022 and didn't set a date... Maybe it's gone the way of EMBER and other canned Netflix animated movies? Or a new date will be inked eventually? If it's aiming for 2026, then that'll explain the absence.

I'll keep my eyes on these as they get closer, but my top picks are VENGEANCE MOST FOWL and K-POP: DEMON HUNTERS.

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harryleatherfit · 1 year

Text

Upper East Side || A.U || Frankie Morales

Chapter 11: Opening Night

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Word Count: 7.8K (i was gonna keep going but Warnings: mentions of fucking bad family, unprotected p in v (um), oral f receiving, mentions of sub space (when you squint at the end), spanking, hard fucking, tit sucking, some fluff, performance on stage, lmk if i’ve missed any

Authors Notes: let me know what you guys think! genuinely this is the longest thing i’ve written but i fear i’ll be hated for the next few chapters 😵‍💫 i love you guys ♾️

Chapter Playlist

Jungle Fever- The Chakachas

Somebody Like You- Bree Runway

Lust For Life- Lana Del Ray

🪩Main Master List🪩 Series Master List🪩

Opening night, electricity filled your body. You woke up with light peeking through your window, you stared at the dust particles floating around, you wish you could stay here forever. Both nights were sold out, your heart racing thinking you had to be on stage tonight. Performing in front of thousands excited you on second thought. You loved the crowd, the air, the excitement as you smiled. You had gotten leads at UNCSA, but nothing could compare to this. You didn’t know where you lay in the acting world at all, but you had to remember that no matter what you would be yourself on the inside.

You had gotten up before Laylah, Rose, and Hannah, making coffee and staring at the sun. You were hoping Frankie was up looking at the same sun. You did breath exercises, prepping your lungs for the amount of talking you had to do for the next few days. Setting your headspace was most important to you. You were scrolling on your phone and Frankies name popped up in the corner of the screen.

New Message:

Frankie: Can you come early to the theater? Somethin I wanna show you.

You: My call times at 3, want me to come at 12?

Frankie: 11.

You: Okayyy, need me to bring food?

Frankie: No, assistants already brought a shit load, I need to see you.

You: Packing my bags as we speak🥱

“Hey hotstuff,” Laylah walks out of your room, yawning, “Smells good. Ready for your big day?”

“Ready as I can ever be.” You shrug, embracing the heat of your coffee cup. The mornings were always so cold.

“Anything planned for the morning?”

“Well, he asked me to come in early, something to show me.” You whisper.

“Oh shit, damn ok,” They get excited, “Have fun gettin old man dick.”

“Laylah!” You laugh.

“Nah, I bet it’s good. Look at him.”

“Believe me I know.”

“Have you guys fucked yet?” They nudge.

“No, but I'm not even sad. So many times guys just want to immediately fuck and it’s such a massive turn off.” You explain, “He’s soft and gentle with me, never in a rush.”

“Yeah me and Bryce haven't done the deed yet. Have high hopes for him. And he also uses my correct pronouns so yay men!” They cheer.

“Well here’s to fucking men I guess.” You click your coffee in the air, “Is he treating you right?”

“We haven’t done much aside from hangout during rehearsals and stuff, so after we’ll actually have time to be with each other.”

“You should go with him after the show tonight, get dinner and walk around the city.” You suggest.

“I think that’s what I’ll do.” They hug you, “My beautiful astonishing Lady Macbeth, I’ll see you tonight.”

-----

You arrive at the theater, New York Streets bustling with people at this hour. Broadway never fails to have thousands of people in and out. Tonight was going to be a big one. Book of Mormon was on, but that show was always on broadway and Macbeth was only on for two nights.

You wondered how many stars were going to come, how many people you loved that would come to see your show. How many playbills you were going to get to sign.

Your interaction with Wes Anderson made you think about your spine, your eyebrow conjecture, the way you present yourself and your character on stage. Everything had to be different. Mattias had a pep talk with you before you left the theater, no matter what happens on this stage, we both know we have put our souls into this show.

It was true, there’s no need to stress about impressing people.

You set your bad down at the entrance, seats already blocked off, ushers clocking in their hours.

“Hey, up here.” Frankie calls up from the theater's booth, “It’s set up a little differently here, Broadway has way more money than our school could ever imagine,” You walk up the steps, “I know so much bigger than our little shabby room at the school.” You take in the scenery of the room.

“I bet you’ve worked here a lot though, right? I mean this is like your job, to do shows for the college, teach the building basics of theater, and fucking work Broadway shows.” How could he act like this wasn’t a big deal.

“Honey, my job is cool and all but doesn't mean I enjoy it. Long hours, having to meet people's demands, spicy celebrities, whiney actors.” He purrs.

“Hey! I’m not whiney, you’re the whiney one, arguing with everyone who pisses you off.”

You hug him, he’s sitting on a stool in front of the lighting board, “I wanted to be an actor actually, but never went through. I never had the courage to do bigger roles and my dad was always focused on my brother. So I just went into tech, it’s easier anyways.” He mumbles.

“Sometimes I wish I went into tech, being an actor is fucking hard,” You stare at him, “Why’d you quit acting? You could never be second to anyone.” You rub his face, hands lingering on his porno stash, his scruff felt like lightening under your fingers.

“When we were in our twenties, he’s a little bit older than I am, he was breaking through the stock market and everyone was shocked. I mean he broke through after 9/11 so he was everywhere.

My dad was disappointed that I wanted to do theater and acting and not anything business related. I was doing mini side jobs for Broadway and small film roles. I went to Spain for some time. Until I started doing this I was finally important to my family.” You back off from him, circling the room.

He hasn’t talked to you about his family too much, he said he’s an open book but you didn’t want to push him too much.

“Sad boring people want to go into the stock market. Margot Robbie was the only interesting thing about Wolf of Wall Street by the way,” You chide, “You're not a fucking disappointment, you’re motivated. You create worlds for people to see, you have so much passion. I wish I was you.”

He moves from his chair, standing up, he’s way taller than you

“Smart girl, go turn off the lights.”

“Frankie,” You stare at him, “We can’t, you know we can’t.” Even though you fucking want to.

“We’re not,” He laughs, “Just go turn them off, I want you to see this.”

You do as told, flipping the switch and returning to your sanctuary.

“Lay down and look up, cmon I’ll do it with you.” He instructs.

You find your way in the dark, glimmer from the ceiling illuminating the room. You lay down as you feel his body next to yours.

“See the ceiling? It’s stars, they painted stars in here for the actors to relax before shows. I’ve done shows here before and they always help me even before a long tech run.” He whispers, the ceiling reminds you of a galaxy, calming and beautiful. He moves to your neck, smelling your hair. You could bathe in his after shave, bask his cologne. He always smelled so expensive.

“Don’t get too comfortable pretty girl, someone could walk in.”

“Then don’t smell so fucking good.” You shove him away, laughing to your side. The pain in your lower abdomen could never subside when you were around him.

“I have something to give to you now, but would you wanna come over to my place later? We could get food, or walk around, or if you want to go back to your place after the show home then we can go there, orwecanjustleave-”

“Shhh,” You shove your finger to his lips, “I would love to go to your place tonight, please. We can finally be alone. Finally be with each other without anyone interrupting us.”

“Ok, ok.” He shakes his head like a giddy boy, “ Oh baby you’re gonna do amazing tonight.,” He kisses you quickly “Before I set up, I wanted to give you these.” He fumbles into his jeans pocket, pulling out two VIP Caroline Polachek tickets.

“No fucking way, you did not do this. Frankie, you did not spend this money.” You squeal.

“Stop, I didn’t spend any money gorgeous. I pulled some strings and magically got them.”

He hands them to you, they were metallic with black printing of the venue and time, with her name in this beautiful ceryllic, you couldn't imagine being in her presence. You’ve wanted to see her since the beginning of college, but you never had the money to go. Since her breakup from Chairlift, you fell in love with her artistry. She was meticulous about what she exposed to the world and you wanted to be like her.

“A little something for an opening night present, and the concert’s before your recital. A win-win.”He looks at you, “I know her new album came out and I know her producer, maybe you’ll get to meet her.” He winks. Get to meet your fucking idol? You were shocked but it was Frankie, of course he would do something like this.

“Don’t worry about tonight darlin,” He holds you, “This weekend is gonna be amazing.”

------

Is this the real life, is this just fantasy caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.

Bohemian Rhapsody was blaring throughout the dressing rooms, never able to run away from Freddie Mercury.

After your soiree with Frankie, you had gone to freshen up, prep your hair and skin. Ate a protein bar and met with Mattias. You blindly went over your scenes, and then he offered some cigarettes You shouldn’t have, but you did.

You fled out the back, door checking to see if anyone would see you. Not that it would matter but felt too familiar. You found a cozy spot, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket the team gave you and lit one up with him. You felt like you were a teenager in high school again, smoking before a show to ease the nerves.

Passing on local tradition.

“You’ve got any family coming tonight?” He opens his zippo lighter.

“Nah, just my friends, I don’t have family up here. You?”

“Mom and dad, they weren’t too happy I came to this school but it’s starting to grow on them” He taps his cigarette, “Anyone special coming tonight?”

“Something like that. It’s recently new with him and I, but he’ll be here.” You blow smoke,“You?”

“I just broke up with my boyfriend so probably not. We’ll see.”

“Ahh Mattias, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, just means I’ll be clubbing fucking extra tomorrow night at the afterparty, are you excited?”

“Fuck I forgot about that, I haven’t clubbed in years.”

“It’s at this hoity toity place in the Upper East Side, not The Box I promise but it’ll be fun as fuck. The directors are supposed to come, like the whole school is going to show up.”

The fucking Box. Frankie being there.

Flashbacks of Frankie fingerfucking you agasint the bathroom counter race through your mind, you couldn’t understand how bad you wanted him. The one person in your life that has changed your entire being.

You guys finish your cigarettes, small talk with him was so easy. Giggling about the shit you’ve seen in high school and college as theater majors. Mattias knew what the struggle was like, he knew the difference between stage anxiety and general anxiety. You guys were the perfect pair on stage.

“You go head on in Ms. Macbeth, get your shit done and I’ll see you soon sweet cheeks.”

-------

“So at 3 tomorrow the whole cast has an interview with The New Yorker.” Ms. Roylance announces, it’s an hour before show.

“And the main 2 have an interview with Vogue at 5.”

Vogue, what the shit.

Tech crew, all the actors and directors were in a circle, saying a couple final words before curtains would go up.

Across from you, Laylah and Bryce are holding hands and Frankie is talking to Mr Miller.

You were trying to calm your heart rate, you felt comfortable with everyone around you, but if you sit in a dark closet and rehearse for the last hour you would.

“I want us to hold hands, close our eyes and say one word we're feeling, and the last 30 minutes before show we can just roam in the back, hows that sound?” Roylace gages the group. Everyone agrees, clasping hands, shutting eyes and embracing each other's energy. It’s the best you can do.

“I’ll start, pleased.” She finishes.

“Happy.”

“Elated.”

“Horrified.”

“Worried.”

“Terrified.”

“Thrilled.” Bryce bellows.

“Overjoyed.” Laylah says.

“Light.”

“Captivated.” You immediately knew that was Frankie, his voice, the utmost bass in his voice. Shakes you alive. You open your eyes, looking at everyone around you, soaking up your last minutes with everyone before you break apart.

“Wondrous.”

“Flamboyant.”

“Flustered.”

“Scared.”

It’s your turn, you’ve had the whole circle to think about this, “Content.” Your eyes closed, the mid stage lights shining on you, the murmurs from the full crowd behind the red curtain, the smiles on all your faces, you’re ready.

“Happy.”

“Petrified.”

“Euphoric.”

The last words slip into the air, opening your eyes exasperated.

“Places in 40.” Frankie says.

Everyone separates, straggling across the stage, getting to their righteous spots but you stay. It only feels right and you know he will stay with you.

As soon as everyone is out of sight, he gets closer to you, but not daring to touch your hand. You watch him go to the middle of the curtain, he opens it slyly only to peek through to the crowd.

“Wanna come see?” He asks.

You walk downstage to him, setting in stone to his exact steps, letting one eye peek through the red fabrics and the whole crowd is lively, everyone is dressed so elegantly. The laughs, the people finding their seats. Ushers smiling. House lights dimmed sensually. This is what Broadway is about. Your jaw drops, but you wouldn’t let this dare scare your heart, you’re fucking ready for this.

“See, they are all here for you and Mattias, they are here to see the most wonderful production of the year and because of you, you bring the feisty energy they need.” He whispers into your ear. You shudder, almost tears of happiness, you had no stage fright anymore. “Now fucking blow there minds away baby.”

-------

The raven himself is hoarse, that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan, under my battlements. Come, you spirits, that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, and fill me from the crown to the toe top-full

Of direst cruelty. Make thick my blood, stop up th’ access and passage to remorse, that no compunctious visitings of nature, shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between, th’ effect and it. Come to my woman’s breasts

And take my milk for gall, you murd’ring ministers, wherever in your sightless substances, you wait on nature’s mischief. Come, thick night, and pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, that my keen knife see not the wound it makes, nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark

To cry “Hold, hold!”

Make me fucking human.

For more or less, there was no crowd in front of you. Just Mattias holding your hand. Rebirth. Refinery. Frankie watching you from the booth, admiring every step you take. Acting is simple, people pleasing is simple, it’s melodic from making up the emotions on the spot and zoning through the waves of the artistry. It’s for the people, acting is a service. You’re giving your heart out to the world.

You follow your footwork with Mattias, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, husband and wife. Forcing your husband to follow through with your plan, killing the king. So detrimental.

You rush to the wings, dipping your newest costume with blood. Lady Macbeth is a woman of thrill and duty, she would do anything for her husband, and you know how that feels. You soak yourself with the sticky substance, getting it all over your face, fingerprints of deadly sins.

Hands so poignant with red, your heart could be falling out and no one would notice. Cue.

My hands are of your color, but I shame, to wear a heart so white, I hear a knocking

At the south entry, retire we to our chamber, a little water clears us of this deed, how easy is it, then! Your constancy, hath left you unattended, hark, more knocking, get on your nightgown, lest occasion call us, and show us to be watchers, be not lost so poorly in your thoughts.

You move the rest of the act, sit down through act 4, nothing involving you and finally act 5.

You mess around your hair, flick blood on your lips and action.

Out, damned spot, out, I say! One. Two. Why then, ‘tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

Instantaneously you have flashbacks when you were a child. In your cold room alone, dad and mom are fighting. This always fucking happened. The yelling would make you cry, but you learned how to get over it, you accepted that was your life. But now you’re safe, now you’re with people who love you and want the best for you. Men could never have control over you, ever again.

Do you mark that?

The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne’er be clean? No more o’that, my lord, no more o’that. You mar all with this starting.

Go to, go to. You have known what you should not.

She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that. Heaven knows what she has know.

The moment you’ve been waiting for,

Here’s the smell of blood still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand-

You don’t hold back, you dig into the crevices of your voice box, finding every follicle in your body to scream. To scare this crowd. You aren’t a little girl. Lady Macbeth is a story to never be let down. You drop to the floor, shrieking your mind away, begging for air and life. Letting the blood on you trickle with slobber and tears.

The exhaustion mixed with the heat of your scream made your head spin, but the crowd was silent- you lay there hiccuping for a minute, letting the waves of grief pass by.

What a sigh there! The heart is sorely charged.

I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whale body.

Well, well, well.

Pray God it be, sir.

The disease is beyond my practice. Yet I have known those which have walked in their sleep, who have died holily in their beds.

You shiver, shaking over to the edge of the stage,

To bed, to bed. There’s knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come. Give me your hand. What’s done cannot be undone. To bed, to bed, to bed.

You exit, and the audience erupts in roars. They quickly sit back down, as there’s more dialogue with the doctor and gentlewoman, but not one moment did you hesitate to throw yourself into your monologue. It felt so powerful, unbelievably life changing.

The show finishes, sitting in the wing as your castmates finish the last monologue. Opening night was one for the books. You all line up for bows, tech right behind you, the curtain opens up and finally the moment you’ve wanted. Not the applause, but able to see Frankie in that chair, just staring at you. All you’ve wanted today is to be with him, but your performance was truly dedicated to him, he was the one that shocked your headspace, he’s the one that makes you want this all. You each take your singular bow, your feet wobbling, walking to the end, tearing up with this crowd, the graciousness you felt.

The standing ovation of the crowd was magnificent, every section clapping for minutes, no soul daring to leave their seats. New York, what a beautiful city. The strong whistles, the numerous claps, the chatter warmed your heart. Roses being sent your direction, hearts shown with hands.

Your crew was instructed to go back to your dressing rooms, clean up, hang your costumes and prepare everything the same for tomorrow, then you could go greet people if you wanted to.

Before you knew it, Mattias was dragging you out to the street, to see all the fans lining up on the street waiting to get their playbills signed.

You only wanted to find Frankie and Laylah, but you didn’t have one second to revive for yourself.

Mattias thrashes with your hand, opening the back door to the cold howling air, embraced by cheers,

“We love you guys.”

“I cried at your performance.”

“We’re coming tomorrow night”

“Lady Macbeth saved me.”

“I love you.”

Screams and shrieks were surrounding you, it’s not that you couldn’t believe it, but your heart was overpowered and overjoyed. So much in one sitting, your head turning in every which way, grabbing sharpies and scribbling your name as fast as possible.

One lady stands out, she’s quiet but vigilant, waiting for it to be her turn, and the closer you get you notice,

“Ms. Kim?” You could barely recognize her, it’s only been 4 months.

“My honey sugar, look at you!” She hugs you, tighter than a mothers hold, “Your teacher Mr.Miller gave me a shout and I booked my flight immediately, I couldn’t miss your Broadway performance.” She shakes her head.

“Ms. Kim, you didn’t have to do this, I could’ve sent you a picture, or a notecard, or a playbill.”

“Now that’s nonsense honey and you know that,” She swats your shoulder with her playbill copy, “Besides I know the whole team here, no need to worry I’m here for a week, so a coffee catch up is on your list after this weekend.”

The things that you could tell her.

“I miss you, I miss North Carolina.” You hug her again, breathing down her back, trying to not let people see your tears. She was there for you when you missed your mom, she was North Carolina in a summary, and you missed it so much.

“It’s okay sweetie, you were meant to leave that state it had nothing to offer, look at this,” She pointed at all the people, “This was your destiny.” She kisses you on the cheek, “I’ll text you for a coffee date, but go spend the night away.” She smiles.

“I love you!”

“I love you too honey.”

You leave her in the crowd, finding Mattias taking a picture with a group of girls. You tell him you’re gonna head back in to get your bag, to check your phone and possibly run into Laylah, find Frankie. Unlatching the door, the air rushing in your face, Laylah was already there with Bryce waiting for you.

“You did amazing! These flowers are for you,” They smother you, “The shock in the audience when you dropped to the floor, you stretched all of their hearts out.”

“Thank you.” You laugh, holding their hands, best friends working on Broadway together, your 16 year old selves would be thrashing down right now.

“My guys in the booth couldn’t believe they were at a college show, you and Mattias rocked it.” Bryce says.

“Thank you, that means the world. Seeing all the full seats was just fucking mind blowing and I’ll have to say that a million times to process.”

“We love you, were gonna get dinner now,” They wink, “See you tomorrow? Same time, same place?”

“Same time, same place.” You agree.

They grab your arm, pulling you close, “Get that dick tonight.”

You laugh so loud it refracts around you, we’ll see.

They leave you, content with the night. Smiling dumb because now finally you get to be with the man you’ve been itching to see.

You call him,

“Hey pretty girl, I was waiting to hear from you.”

“Sorry I was out signing playbills with Mattias. Working the night off.” You respond.

“Don’t be sorry, s’busy night for you. How d’you feel?”

“Good, Frankie, I feel amazing.” Seducing him over the phone, itching for him.

“That’s my star girl, shining so bright on that stage.” He smiles in the phone, you can feel it.

“Where are you right now?” You ask.

“In my car, just watching the sky.”

“And where would that be?”

“Behind the theater and the crowd, come find me princess.”

“Ok Playboy, I’ll see you in a second.”

You end the call, chucking your bag behind your back. You slowly walk to the door, finally entering a world you can’t step back out of. Reminiscing when you had no idea what the fuck you two were.

You sprawl out, no one would be here at this time of night. He’s smoking a cigarette, convertible top down. Collar open and his hat is off, puffed locks chasing every direction. He looks up to you.

“Frankie, an Ashton Martin Convertible?”

“Yeah.”

You stare at him, some fucking longer. “I don’t know, just an Ashton Martin roaming the streets, a really nice car I’ve only heard in books.”

“Would you feel better if you knew I saved a couple paychecks for this.” He raises his eyebrows.

“Sure.” So he had money, money. Double shit.

You get in and he stares at you, flickering between your lips and eyes. You could jump him now, but you had to wait. You liked the game.

“Food, bar, coffee, books, my house? What’s your wish tonight?” He holds your hand.

“Hmmm your house remember? Wouldn’t pass that up for a lifetime.” You remark.

He nods, setting the car in gear. You flicker your hands to his cigarette, he lets you take it and the drag of his menthol cigs felt smooth on your throat. Menthol and Frankie just make sense.

He’s playing Pink Floyd, blasting it through the dark streets of the city, and all you can do is smile stupidly. Your hair flying everywhere, hands perpetually finding the power of the wind, eyes closed.

You feel his hand sneak to your thigh, creeping to your body. Speaking to you through your mind. If his hand could do that now, what else would happen tonight? He moves further and further up your leg, eyes shooting open at him.

“What?” He turns to you, stopped at a light.

You grind your teeth, his hand was big enough to almost cover your whole thigh.

“You say something?” He smirks.

You wince as his hand lays on your skin, never moving but lingering so close where you crave his fingers.

A guitar ripple catches your attention from the speakers, he’s strumming to the beat on your thigh, and you can’t move.

“And we’re here darlin, what do you think?”

He parks in front of a modern brownstone, pillars glossing the entrance like a greek house. Bigger brownstone than usual. Everything about him makes sense, the expensive taste made sense, but this house was beautiful.

You take a breath, “It’s beautiful, Frankie. I couldn’t imagine anything different.” You’re scared to get out, but you itch to find what’s inside. He closes the top to the car, running around to open your door.

“Cmon pretty girl, don’t be shy.” He holds your hand out, he walks behind you up the stairs, punching in a code you looked away for.

“3570, didn’t need to look away baby, that codes yours.” He whispers to you, walking into his house.

Your first steps are met with roses, sprawled on the outskirts of the floor. His first floor, open for the world to see. Piles of roses, rose petals begging for your touch, he grabs your hips pulling you to him. “This is all for you.” You stand there with him, holding you. No man has ever gone this far to express something for you.

Grand piano deep into the room, kitchen with a marble island, champagne with two glasses full for you both, one staircase with golden spiraling leading to the top on the side. White columns and archways holding the house.

“And one person lives here?” You poke.

“Yes, but I quite enjoy it,” He lugs you closer to the kitchen to set your stuff down, “This is the house I dreamed of as a boy.”

“Well, it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like this.” You ponder around like a child lost at Disney.

The back archway was all glass, you could see a light on outside to his backyard. His dining table to the wall of glass, next to the greenery. He had a conversational pit as his couch, dark green leather with faux fur overthrows. His TV was massive, and next to it were beautiful oil paintings.

He had shelves as a wall, lined with books and vinyls. Years of purchasing and collecting.

You take a peak, letting your hands run across the dusty spines.

“The Chakachas, João Gilberto…hmm Gerry Rafferty” You laugh, “Your music taste…is sexy Francisco.” He’s watching your every move.

“What can I say, I’m a cultured man.” He smugs a smile. He’s behind you, raining his fingers around your waist, you take Jungle Fever out of its sleeve, placing it on his record player.

“Just to set the mood don’t you think?” You snicker, “Have you seen Boogie Nights? You do look like a young Burt Renolds, scary kinda.”

“I get that sometimes, you like that darlin? Like broad-“ Kiss, “Hairy men?”

You dance with him to the music, listening to the women's moans of the song. Letting the dim lights glisten around his living room.

Moaning in his ear, grinding against him. Melting into his body.

“I love it.” You purr, “He was so sexy, don’t you think? That playboy pose he did made everyone in the seventies go crazy. I’d let him fuck me on spot if I was alive back then-”

He laughs, “Hmp, you wanna get fucked?” His head turns to the side, mouth curving open, with his eyebrows falling inward.

Your mouth falls, drooling over his voice. You hold onto his hair, sheething his body into yours, “Fuck me tonight Frankie, fuck me hard.” You whisper.

A lion raptures through his physicality, lifting you up to the closest thing, the Grand Piano.

“Frankie, we can't do anything here, I’ll break it!”

“I don’t care princesa, I don’t care, I’ll eat you out for hours and it could break, I’ll pay for another one.” He growls, “I need to taste this pussy now.” He set you down, looking you in the eyes as a rabid beast. His eyes were blown black, glaring at you for more.

He pulls your shorts down leaving you in just your shirt, your bottom half bare in front of him. “Mmh, no panties,” He chuckles, “What brought you to do this miel?”

“I figured there's no point, you’d rip them off anyway.” You shrug, head slating on the lid of the piano. Goosebumps rising on your body, the cold of the instrument touching your ass, air meeting the gloss of your entrance.

“Perfect fucking pussy, perfect fucking body. My girls so fucking perfect.” He spreads kisses down to your stomach, leaning when he reaches your mound. You grimace, you haven’t shaved in a long time.

“It’s okay baby, see?” He presses his hand on top of your sex, “Hair doesn’t change a thing how I feel about you. Hair doesn’t change a thing about how I want to fuck your brains out, okay?.” He kisses on top of your bush, shivering when you feel the wet of his lips with his mustache, nose bracing your clit. “I’m the only one that gets to touch your pussy like this, understand?”

You shake your head yes, “Only you can touch me.”

“Look at me, look at me while I destory your fuckin pussy.” He pushes your legs closer to him, eye level with your pussy. You wouldn't believe you’ve gone hours without this, without his tongue. He adamantly drives into your cunt, moaning as he shoves his tongue inside you.

He moans, the usual vibrations of his mouth floating through your lower abdomen. Cells inside your pussy sensationally fucked up from his mouth.

The tip of his nose would rub against your clit, he always managed to do it, but this time he was moving his face. His nose was creating circles against your nub, tongue squeezing the life out of you.

“Frankie- ngh- baby- feels so good- keep going-” You plead. Instead of grabbing his hair, you wrapped your hands around the edges of the piano, keeping your body from contorting due to the immense pleasure.

Your request followed through, he kept circling, shaking his head between your thighs. He would never let up, swallowing everything your cunt had for him.

“Pussy on my tongue, so tight. Pussy walls are quiverin for me baby.” He groans, dancing his hands to your stomach, legs dangling over his shoulders.

“Hold onto my hands dirty girl, I know you’re strong, cum in mouth.”

He raffles inside you more, squeezing his hands so your body doesn’t escape from his touch. Your clit suddenly buzzes, repeatedly shaking. Your walls come crashing on his tongue, he doesn’t stop pushing into you.

You scream for help, violently shaking against his hold. You couldn’t control your voice, begging for more. You can’t do anything other than yell because the movement form his tongue

“I’m gonna cum Frankie, I’m gonna cum on your tongue-” You cry.

“Give it to me, drip into my mouth.” His sinister base flows through your pussy, the room spins and you shriek against the piano. He sucks you clean from your orgasm, releasing his hold from you.

“Breathe baby, breathe.” The fuzziness of the lights die down, and his face comes in contact again.

“Your tongue- is fucking magical.” You drunkenly smile, “But I want more tonight. Please.” He pulls you off the piano, leaving a sweat mark on the top. You plant your feet to the ground, he holds your body up.

He chuckles, “Tell me what you want mi amour, what is it that you want?” He taunts.

“Fuck you, you know what I want.” You seethe.

“Ok,” He nods his head, “If you think I know, then fuck yourself for me. Go down to the couch, take your shirt off, and fuck yourself with your fingers.”

He had your full attention and you feel small, you’ve never done anything like this in front of a man.

“Go on princess, I’ll be right here.”

You faintly walk to his couch, slipping past the steps. You sit down at the edge of the couch, taking your shirt and shifting your bra off your chest. You’re completely naked in front of him, nipples begging for his touch.

“Play with yourself for me, pretty girl.”

You snake your hands down to your entrance, fiddling with your slick. You touch your clit, but it feels nothing like his hands.

“Frankie please, I need your cock.” You whine.

“You should’ve just said that, now look at you, yeah?” He walks to the steps, sitting down, “I need to you to cum on your fingers before I fuck you, I wanna see it.”

You hum, discoing your fingers on your clit, you imagine his cock finally slipping inside of you. What you’ve wanted since you’ve laid eyes on him.

“Push those fingers inside, think of my cock dirty girl.” He growls, looking you up and down.

You plunge your fingers inside, moving your hips against your hand. Wishing to have his thick cock inside you.

“Frankie, I’ll be so good, please. I want you inside me. I want you holding me down, I wanna be filled with you.” You mumble, terrorizing your hand.

“Wanna be a good girl for me? Fuckin tie you down, fuck you until soak me.” You shovel your fingers inside your cunt faster, imagining yourself restrained against his bed. His cock pushing into you at an unforgivable speed. “You’d like that huh dirty fuckin girl. Not able to move while I fuck your cunt, fillin you up til you feel it in your stomach.”

You slant your eyes open,” I want you to tie me up one night Frankie, be your-fucking rope bunny. Want you to use my pussy.”

“I wanna do everything with you, dirty girl, so perfect.”

You feel yourself tightening around your hand, his words making you interclose on your hand.

You would never be able to make yourself cum this fast because of your fingers, but because of him, because of his coaxing words, your own orgasm felt stronger.

“I can it hear baby, I see you leakin, cum for me, let go. Then I’ll give you my cock for as long as you want. Shove those fingers in for me.” He purrs.

You fall back on his couch, wavering your body to your orgasm. You gave a final push, laying stagnant from your orgasm. You watch him stroll to you from his steps.

He’s hungry.

“So gorgeous, so wet for me.” He smirks, “Now what do you want, so perfect and plump for me.”

“I want your fucking cock, I need you inside me Frankie.” You tremble.

He licks his lips, sitting down on the couch, “Don’t wanna do anything you’re not comfortable with pretty girl,” He moves your hair behind your ears, “Is this how you want me? Let me get a condom.”

You push him down, you should use a condom but you couldn’t be less botherd, “You could’ve fucked me in that bathroom and I would’ve cared less Frankie, fucking on this couch will be more than heaven,” And it is, “Don’t worry about a condom, I need to feel you bare.” He goes to object, but you shove your fingers to close his mouth.

Your eyes linger on his cock, he’s already swelling, “I wanna do everything with you Frankie, you could never make me uncomfortable.”

You close in to the crook of his neck, kissing him everywhere, praising him for making you feel so good, “I need you to fuck my brains out, make it hurt Frankie.”

Without blinking, he lifts you to his lap, placing your naked pussy on him. He kisses you sloppily on the lips, holding you close so you don’t fall, he growls possessing more of you.

“My beautiful girl, I’ve been waitin for this to happen, been dreamin of you sitting on my cock. I’m so glad we’ve waited, it’s gonna feel so good baby.”

You rub against him, letting your liquid leak all over him.

“I’ve been so good Frankie, I’ve been trying so hard not to think about your cock, when you were down my throat all I wanted was to be full of you everywhere.” And now-” You shimmy his shirt off, kissing his collar bones, rushing to his belt.

He flings it off slamming it to the ground, you look past it as it impacts the floor, making a hard whipping sound.

“Bet you’d like that naughty girl, fucking whip until you’re red. Tie you up with my belt.” You squirm against him, humping his bulge.

Images of Frankie whipping your ass with his belt, slapping your pussy, makes your brain short circuit.

He pulls his pants down with his boxers, flinging his cock out. You don’t remember it being this big. He was uncut and at least 8 inches. How could he fit inside you? The sight already making your pussy leak.

You rush your hands to his head, dangling your legs on his lap, pussy out for the world to see. You pull his foreskin back letting his precum bead down to your fingers.

“Feel s’good baby, fingers feel so good wrapped around my cock.” He grimaces.

You pump his dick, letting him grow against you, he keeps getting bigger and bigger. His tip was so pink, you wanted to suck him off like a lollipop. You wanted his dick down your throat. Embellishing in every way he can fill you up.

You lick his precum off your fingers, and he shoves his thumb in your mouth, “Suck.” He demands.

You enclose, treating his thumb like his cock. Swirling, letting every part of your saliva coat it.

He parts from you, soon attaching it to your pussy to moisten you up. He was going to stretch you so wide.

“Tell me if it hurts baby, please, I don’t want you to hurt.” He requests.

“I don’t care if it hurts Frankie, I need you to push me open. I need your cock.”

You shift until your lips are hovering over the head of his dick, waiting for him to pump into you. The tension was so thick you could barely breathe.

He carnally anchors into you, his cock magnetizing inside your cunt, the moment he surges into you, holding onto his shoulders stronger, you both gasp from feeling each other for the first time.

“Holy fuck, princesa you’re so tight.” He braces.

You try to move up from him but he attaches his hands to your hips and pushes you up and down. The air is eccentric and you’re so grateful you get to be so close to him, clasping on to his figure as he fucks into you.

He nips at your collar bone, lazily kissing you. Your hair disheveled from your body shaking.

“I love your cock, I love your cock. Oh my god- FuFuFuFuck.” You chant in his ear. The simplicity of having sex made you feel safe, this was more than magical. He was almost fucking your heart. He was so deep inside you, your mound was connecting to his base.

You loved when he was so dominant with you, you loved when he was in control, you loved Frankie.

“Fuck me- as hard as- you can. Use- my pussy.” You yelp.

The more you felt your pussy lips gripping onto his cock, the more you seized. The connection was beyond powerful. He aggressively slips into you, his tip touching that perfect spongy wall that would make you lose all will power.

“God darlin, love watchin those eyes roll back. Didn’t know you’d get this cock drunk baby. You love my cock so much?” He rasps.

“Spank me, please, slap my ass and fucking mark me.” You whine.

He lifts his hand, slapping your ass. He grabs onto your love handles, pulling you onto his dick harder.

“You like that? When my handprints on your ass? You want more?” He grunts.

You shake your head, and he continues, the sting firing your pussy up. His animalistic movements make you worship his soul, he matched your sex energy and you couldn’t be more thankful. You relished this moment, so grateful for Frankie.

He lusted over your tits, he slowed to kiss them, suck your nipples to hardened peaks. Somehow your heart hammered, watching him take care of every need your body craved, made you pussy twitch with his cock inside you. Watching his mouth wrap about your tits intensified your lust for him.

“I want you to do something for me,” He releases, “I want you to spell my name.”

“How-”

“Move your hips, move your hips with my cock still inside, ride me.” He stirs.

He intertwined his hands with yours, you back up from his chest preparing. He doesn’t lose your eyes for one second.

“F” You shake, his dick is everywhere inside your walls.

“R” You whine, the contact so slow and vivid, you could almost hear the colors off the walls.

“Keep going, that's it, just use that dick.” He coaxes.

“A” The tip of the A making his cock arch into you deeper than you could have ever imagined, you yell, soliciting for neighbors to hear.

“N”

“K” The ache in your pussy crying to cum, but you weren’t done. You knew you had to finish.

“I”

“E” You whimper, not able to sit straight any longer.

“Such a good girl, knew you could do it. My good fucking girl.” He kisses you, “I know what that pussy wants, I know she needs to cum. Wanna cum pretty girl?”

“Mhm, please Frankie. I-I was so good. I wanna cum on your cock. I’ll do anything, I’ll be so so good.” You plead.

His cock was intoxicating your brain, oxytocin so high you couldn’t think about where you were, only that Frankie was all you cared about in your life right now.

He aggressively hurls into you again, pinning your hands behind your back as he holds them in place. You couldn’t do anything but take his cock, you had to accept that he was gonna fuck you til you saw stars.

“You can do it baby, pussy’s already leakin all over me and the floor. She’s clamping around me. I wanna see that pretty face when you cum.” He finalized.

“Fran-Frankie keep going, I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum,” You praise.

You couldn’t even process his words, half-lidded and half dazed, all you could focus on was your pussy devouring his cock. Him driving past you until you couldn’t hear. The power to force you knew your voice was giving out. You couldn’t touch him, but him holding your hands back made you grateful, your orgasm so powerful you felt as if you were gonna break his cock.

Your voice box cracks, you immediately fall against his chest, stagnant from movement with the only action you could do was breathe.

He lays there will you, wrestling his heart from fucking you so fast. You couldn’t open your heart, let alone walk.

He picks you up, he leaves his couch area and you sense he’s taking you upstairs. He saunters into a dark room, placing you on top of his duvet cover keeping the lights off. You couldn’t tell what his room looked like, but you felt like a vegetable. He came back to you, cleaning your entrance with a baby soft towel. He has to move your legs, you were unresponsive with the widest smile on your face, eyes slanted to only see that he was getting in bed with you.

He lifts the cover, tucking you in next to him. You snuggle against his chest, embracing your body heat, spooning into him. Your breathing falters, in sync with his.

He rubs his hands through your hair, making you fall asleep faster.

“I love you, mi amor.”

And that's the last thing you remember before sleeping off the best night of your life.

—

i love lady macbeth soooo much. looking into the meaning of her monologues are so powerful and she changed my thoughts on shakespeare 🔁🔁

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taglist: @pastelnap

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daz4i · 2 months

Text

context: currently in my theater group we are working on a project i really don't wanna take part in, to the point i'm in emotional distress over it, and it worsens my mental health bc i no longer feel like i have a reason to get up in the morning so i'm sinking back into (worse) depression

buuuuuuuut,

it'll be kind of a dick move. like me leaving would require changing the show quite a bit of it and put things out of balance. and we have a presentation of this show in less than a month

^i also already changed my shit so many times that i already feel bad abt this production and the amount of times i set it back a few steps for no reason

it'll require having a tough conversation with my supervisor and i might get ppl mad at me for bringing it up at all

that's a smaller thing but like. i'll still work with the same people on another production and the fomo would def hurt

^also probably some jealousy bc i DO like being on a stage i just. don't like this show

for more context: it's an original show aka we write everything in it. which is why it sucks bc none of us is a writer and it shows 🥲 i got permission to use translated and altered text for my bit but it still feels Off. also, there isn't like. a story. it's more of an anthology with a theme (a theme i also don't gel well with but eh i got permission not to touch it bc the director saw how distressed it made me 😭). and i simply Do Not Like That like i won't go watch a show like this and i don't wanna go play in one either then. esp when it's clearly amateur so we don't have quality or budget to back it up in any way

so yeah idk what to do. bc this requires me to feel like shit up until december. and the longer i wait the harder it'll be to take me out of the show either

🥲 this is a tough one which is kind of why i'm asking ppl who have no relation to it. ofc no pressure but if you have any insight I'd love to hear

#vent #technically #but also so i can find this poll later lol

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bi-lavelent · 3 months

Text

Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabray x Fem-reader part 11)

Warning: Angst, Fluff, Cussing, Smut, Bullying

“Okay so I will pick you up later.” I said as Santana walked out her bedroom door

“You know it’s weird seeing you in a uniform that you have to wear all the time. I miss the tight leather outfits.” Santana said

“Well we both don’t get to decide what we wear now so I guess we are officially equals.” I said

“Nice try I’m a cheerleader and popular.” Santana said

“Yeah well at this school Glee is the top of the food chain and then theater then sports then cheerleading.” I said

“Speaking of which we have a football game tonight…” Santana said

“at six thirty against Carmel High. I know and trust me that isn’t because the football team is good.” I said

“So you’re willing to skip the Eagles vs the Browns?” Santana asked

“To watch you perform I would skip the Super-bowl.” I said

“Santana we have to get going.” Mrs.Lopez yelled up the stairs

“Bye” Santana said

“Bye have a good day.” I said as she ran down the stairs

I also headed downstairs and jumped into my car. I started the 40 minute drive the Crawford County Day.

The first day at Crawford was amazing. It felt like I was walking around in a castle. The teachers actually knew what they were talking about. It was now the end of the day and The Crawford Country Girls had a meeting. I walked into the room it was nothing like McKinley’s choir room there was couch’s and snacks.

“Hello my name is Nicky. I’m a senior here what’s your name.” Nicky asked

“Oh hi my name is Y/N. I am a senior I transferred out of McKinley.” I said

“Oh my god did you hear about that scandal that happened there two weeks ago.” Nicky asked

“Yeah.” I said shit they had knew about it

“As a lesbian myself I am completely appalled by what happened there and how they got away with it. At least they finally got arrested. I did not watch the video I just heard about it. What was it like being there.” Nicky asked

“Well given that I was the lesbian. It sucked.” I said

“Oh my god you’re gay too.” She said slightly touching my arm

“Everyone let’s start the meeting.” The person sitting at the table said name tag Jess

“Okay as usual we are gonna have our seniors sing the main parts and thanks to Y/N joining us we will be able to have a bass this year. So if anybody has any suggestions of things we could sing. Also since we have a new person let’s say our name and then what you want to say.” The person next to Jess name tag Lucy

“Hello my name is Maria and I was thinking we could do a pop song.” Maria said

“Hi my name is Melody and it’s not like we don’t have country in our name. You know why that is we sing country songs.” Melody said

“What if we do both?” I asked

“What do you mean?” Jess asked

“Like Ke$has tik Tok and Cop Car by Sam hunt can someone sing with me.” I asked

“I will.” Nicky said

“You might wanna take your cameras out.” I said

Nicky

Y/N

Sorry the highlights is acting weird and keeps un highlighting things

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy (Hey, what up girl?) Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go) Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes Trying on all our clothes, clothes Boys blowing up our phones, phones Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs Pulling up to the parties Trying to get a little bit tipsy

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up Tonight, I'mma fight 'Til we see the sunlight Tick tock on the clock But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up Tonight, I'mma fight 'Til we see the the sunlight Tick tock, on the clock But the party don't stop, no

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Now, now, we go until they kick us out, out Or the police shut us down, down Police shut us down, down Po-po shut us

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up Tonight, I'mma fight 'Til we see the sunlight Tick tock on the clock But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up Tonight, I'mma fight 'Til we see the

blue lights were shinin' Bringing out the freedom in your eyes I was too busy watching you Going wild child To be worried about going to jail You were thinking that Running for it Would make a good story I was thinking you were crazy as hell You were so innocent But you were stealing my heart I fell in love in the back of a cop car

Man, they weren't playin' They sure put those cuffs on quick You tried to sweet talk 'em They didn't fall for it But I did You were on the left I was on the right I knew you didn't smoke When you asked him for a light And I laughed He got mad and slammed the door

I swear your daddy's gonna kill me But if I survive tonight I wouldn't change one thing Baby, yeah, I know it sounds crazy

But there was somethin' 'bout the way The blue lights were shinin' Bringing out the freedom in your eyes And I was too busy watching you Going wild child To be worried about going to jail You were thinking that Running for it Would make a good story I was thinking you were crazy as hell You were so innocent But you were stealing my heart I fell in love in the back of a cop car

Oh And you were like, oh Side by side And locked in tight They were taking their time But we didn't mind

We talked And we laughed We sat real close By the time they let us go I was already gone I was already gone, baby

'Cause there was somethin' 'bout the way The blue lights were shinin' Bringing out the freedom in your eyes And I was too busy watching you Going wild child To be worried about going to jail You were thinking that Running for it Would make a good story I was thinking you were crazy as hell But you were so innocent But you were stealing my heart I fell in love in the back of a cop car

Oh I fell in love in the back of a cop And you were like, oh And you were like, oh (And you were like) Oh

“Was that good?” I asked

“Good.” Nicky said

Everyone left the room except for me and Nicky

“We should hang out sometime it would be great to get to know you.” Nicky said coming closer to me

“Yeah that sounds great. I gotta go pick someone up.” I said

“Well here is my phone number.” She said putting her phone number into my phone

I ran off to my car and drove off headed towards McKinley. When I got a phone call from Santana.

“Hey were are you?” Santana asked

“Sorry I am running late. I will be there in about fifteen minutes or less. Sorry” I said

“No problem.” Santana said

I finished my drive to Santana so that I could drop her off at the game on time. I went over the speed limit a little bit. I pulled into McKinley’s parking lot.

“I’m so so sorry I’m late.” I said

“No problem we just don’t have time to go home so I will eat after the game.” Santana said as she hoped into the car.

“How is Crawford?” Santana asked

“It’s great actually, I really like it there. There glee club is amazing and so talented. It’s a legit castle it is so much fun.” I said

“Okay well that’s good. Did you miss anything.” Santana asked

“Yeah seeing a hot Latina in the hallways.” I said

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” She said kissing my cheek and grabbing my hand

We pulled up to the stadium.

“Okay well I am gonna go sit in the adult section. Have fun.” I said as I gave her. Her cheer bag in the back.

I went and parked the car and went through the entrance and payed the non-student fee. I went and found a seat away from the McKinley high students. There was no point in watching the game McKinley had a horrible football coach. So I went and got some food. I watched the Marching band and the color guard. Which were decent performances. Sadly I didn’t get to see Santana much as the cheerios were in front of the student section. But when the half time show happened I finally got to see what she loved to do. She had a smile on her face the entire time. At the end of the game McKinley lost 7-56. I stayed in the stands until Finn came over and joined.

“Hey buddy how’s it going?” I asked

“We just got our ass kicked.” Finn said

“Thats not your fault.” I said

“What do you mean it’s not our fault?” Mike asked coming and sitting next to Finn

“You have a horrible coach. It isn’t the team it’s the coach and the team a little bit. I bet I could get you guys to win a game.” I said

”you think.” Puck said coming and sitting on the other side of me

“How’s Crawford going?” Matt asked sitting next to me

”Good dude all the women are so hot and we did a pretty good mashup today. I actually got to sing in my deep voice. You guys are so going down at regionals.” I said

“Sure we are we have Rachel and Kurt.” Finn said

“Are there any adults still here?” I asked

”No just us and the Cheerios why?” Finn asked

“You guys want some beer?”I said reaching into my bag and grabbing a six pack

“No I am driving so I can’t drink.” Finn said

”hell yah.” Puck said

As Matt, Mike and Puck all grabbed a beer and my bottle opener got passed around. I finally opened mine and took a sip.

“So what’s new?” I asked

“I got my grades up so your sister would get off my ass.” Matt said

“I think I have feelings for Rachel.” Finn said

“You don’t say.” I said

“I feel like she’s trying to get into my pants.” Finn said

“Oh that’s nice I went crawling back to Santana and got back together with her cause Quinn still doesn't want me we fucked in the janitors closet during lunch.” Puck said

Inner thoughts

what they did what. I can’t say anything that will out her. Why didn’t she tell me. Am I not enough for her.

“Good job man. There’s this really really really…” I said

“Oh hey guys what’s going on here.” Quinn said

I didn’t look up to see if anyone else was there. But little did I know that not only was Quinn there but Hope and Brittnay and Santana.

“Finish what you were saying Y/N.” Puck said

“Oh there’s a really really really hot girl at Crawford. She’s a lesbian as well. She out of the closet the only thing that I have to worry about is that she just got out of a relationship and that she is also a senior so she’s going off to college soon. But besides that she’s hot.” I said

At the sound of that a jealousy built up in Santana. She ran down towards the car.

“Will we ever get to meet her?” Hope said

”Well she is in our Glee. There just one more issue I am still in love with someone from McKinley. I would rather keep the McKinley girl in my heart than let Nicky in.” I said

“Who is it?” Puck asked

Shit shit it was his on and off again girlfriend the same person that he had his dick inside earlier today

“Um it is one of the Softball girls.” I said

“Oh I didn’t know that you were dating a Softball player.” Hope said

“That’s cause her parents are extremely religious so she hasn’t come out and I have no clue if she ever will.” I said

“As someone who got kicked out of the house by religious parents. Don’t force her.” Quinn said slapping Finn upside the head

“Okay well I best get going one thing I did like better about McKinley is that they have less homework. I have to write an entire 10 chapter essay 15 pages each about myself and quoting the professor nothing superficial. So I gotta go soul searching.” I said as I grabbed my bag and headed off towards the car when I saw Santana standing against it with her arms crossed.

The car ride home was quiet like a deadly quiet when you can hear when someone blinks. That car ride could have survived the quiet place. You could hear every single piece of machinery working in the car. When we got home Santana got out and slammed her door shut and walked inside. I thought that she was just mad that the football team had lost. I mean if anything I was more upset she got back together with Puck are you fucking kidding me and she gave it up to him. I guess I wasn’t enough for her.

In Santanas room Santana ran upstairs and slammed her door shut she also locked it. She ran over to her bed threw herself on it and finally let the tears escape. How could she compete with that woman. She was out and proud lesbian who wanted her girlfriend. She had to do what Santana does best figure out who this girl is and get in with her. She had to make her girlfriend remember why she liked her even if that meant her being up all night and you not being able to walk

My room

I knew that she was dating Puck but she had said that she had stopped having sex with him and was only having sex with me. All of a sudden my door swung open to reveal Santana wearing

What was she doing. I wasn’t just going to be her second fuck of the day. She quickly shut the door so that her parents wouldn’t see.

“Nope.” I said

“Oh really and does that have anything to do with the really really sexy lesbian that is at your school.” Santana said

”No it has to do with Puckerman dick being inside of you earlier today. You said I kiss him I give him bjs and hjs but anything under the belt I won’t let him touch that all for you baby and then not only do I here that you got back together and couldn’t even shoot me a quick text. The he goes on and on about he fucked you frontside, backside. So sorry if I don’t want to have sex with you after he clearly already pleasured you. I’m not your human dildo I don’t treat you like one and yet you treat me like one. Yeah you say I love you and stuff but maybe yeah maybe do find Nicky hot because I would know that I’m the only one who gets to see her naked and I’m not competing with a football dude that is so good at sex that he knocked up Quinn Christian loving, Celibacy dedicated, Quinn. Okay so yeah maybe I think she’s hot but I would never do anything about it because I don’t cheat on the people I love. Maybe I wish dating someone who’s got it figured out who knows that she likes pussy and not Dick. But I can’t because I’m in love with you and I can’t stop being in love with you no matter what. You have no clue what it’s like dating someone who I had to see making out with someone else in the hall. That’s why I left McKinley okay yeah the whole video thing helped but every time I see you two together I picture him inside of you and I just want to shoot myself okay. Because stupid me had to go and fall in love with another straight person.” I said

“I’m not straight okay I don’t know what I am and yes me and Puck had sex because I am still questioning what I like. But I also know that that isn’t what this is about. It’s because you like two women at the school me and Quinn Fabray and he got both of us.” Santana said

“See he got both of us why didn’t you say he had both of you. Just answer this one question do you still love him?” I asked

“Hell no it’s you okay it’s women it’s what I have been taught against my entire life okay.” Santana said

”Then take that thing off we’re not having sex but we can at-least cuddle.” I said

“I promise I will never let him below the belt again if you don’t let Nicky anywhere near your body.” Santana said

“Deal know come over here cause you parents refuse to turn the heat on and it’s 20 degrees.” I said

I snuggled into Santana knowing that when I woke up in the morning she would be gone and back into her bedroom away from me.

The next morning I woke up and surprisingly Santana was still asleep next to me. I looked over at the clock we only had 15 minutes before we had to leave. I tapped her shoulder

“Five more minutes.” Santana said

“Sorry no can do we overslept and you have to leave in fifteen minutes.” I said

Santana scooted back and feeling my warm body at the same time as her father’s footsteps scared her awake.

I threw the sheet over her head as her dad opened the door.

“Hey Y/N it’s time to wake up.” Mr.Lopez said

“Hey do you mind if I wake Santana up. I just don’t ever get to see her with how often I’m at Crawford.” I said

“Yeah sure.” He said

He shut the door and Santana ran to her bedroom. I sat up and threw on my school uniform.

Crawford gave all the Glee members a half day so that we could practice. Which meant that I could run by McKinley. I got to McKinley and found the Glee club in the auditorium watching one of there competitions in sectionals.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Mr.Schue asked when I came and sat next to him

“Don’t worry I’m not gathering information on you guys. Oh god they’re good.” I said

“Yes they are I guess you can watch us until after sectionals.” Mr.Schue said

“Can I call you Will now that I am not your student.” I asked

“I guess that I can’t stop you I’m just a random adult.” Mr.Schue said

We both watched the performance.

“You will have to step up your performance of your gonna compete with them.” I said

“What you’re saying that you guys can dance that good.” Mr.Schue asked

“Not all of us but we use the assets we have.” I said

“Okay well we will work on our hairography and I will invite you to watch.” Mr.Schue said

“Sounds great.” I said

“What’s up are you picking me up?” Santana asked

“Nope actually your parents are I have to go start working on this book I have to write but I will see you tonight.” I said

Walking away and driving to Crawfords off campus library. I was able to get the first two chapters done but I couldn’t find anything else about me. I wrote about how I love football and when I was little I wanted to be on a football team. I wrote about what it was like when I came out to my family. But I couldn’t figure it out. When I was leaving I saw a flier for Girls Flag Football. I mean it wasn’t an actual football team but it sounded fun. Tryouts were next week. I went home and I pushed my homework to the side I didn’t even know what to write. I started practicing for the team. I would go home and throw the pig against the wall trying to catch it for hours on end. Then halfway through the week I started moving furniture to practice. It was Friday and I was getting ready to practice when I got a text from Mr.Schue saying that the Glee club was hairogrphying monday after school with the deaf kids school. Friday

“Hey what you doing?” Santana asked me

“I have to get this homework done I’m so sorry.” I said

“Okay well my parents aren’t home and I was hoping for a little bit of girl on girl stuff.” Santana said

“That sounds great but I really need to get this finished. So that I can have time for other stuff next week.” I said

“Come on since you’ve gone to Crawford I haven’t been able to have any sexy time with you. I show up in lingerie knocking on your door and instead of doing it we fight.” Santana said

“Look how about you have a sleepover at Brittnay’s and I will make it up to you soon I promise. Trust me I like your sweet lady kisses.” I said wrapping my arms around her and kissing her.

“Okay fine I will go to Brittnay’s but you better make it up to me.” Santana said leaving the room

Text messages Santana: How’s the homework going Y/N: Not good your lucky that you go to McKinley Santana: Can’t you just not do it. Y/N: No its makeup work for my last couple of months that I have missed otherwise I would have to retake it. Santana: Can’t you just retake it? Y/N: I would be graduating the year after you if I fail again. Santana: Oh so your taking Sophomore English Y/N: yes okay but I need to write a ten chapter book about who I am. How am I supposed to write about myself when I don’t even know who I am anymore. Santana: what do you mean Y/N: Last year I knew exactly who I was the loner kid who was usually either drunk or high. Had no interest in anyone or anything because I was too scared to let anyone in and know I am have let people break down my walls. I just wish I knew who I was. Santana: Well I can’t tell you who you are but I know that you can figure it out. Text me later if you need anything. Y/N: Are you up? Santana: yeah what are you doing? Y/N:I think I’m going to lose my mind over this essay Santana:Is that all you wanted to tell me? Y/N:No I think that I have mono you wouldn’t no anything about that would you. Santana: Yeah I think that I got it too Y/N:You know you most likely got it from puck and then gave it to me. Santana:Oh well maybe I got it from someone else Y/N:Oh well I guess you should come back home I can show you who you belong too Santana:oh yeah well maybe Ive got something of yours. Y/N:Well maybe you’ll have to come back home and give it to me. Santana:Do you want me to come back home so that we can hook up tonight? Y/N:Well I have been on top of my homework all week what if I want something on top of me. Santana:Have you taken a shower yet? Y/N:yeah do you have any idea we’re all my panties have gone? Santana:Maybe that’s what I have so does that mean your not wearing any? Y/N:What about your panties tell me about yours Santana:not wearing any. Y/N: we’ll maybe you’ll have to come home and will have to do some naughty stuff cause lord knows that you’re fucking smokin’ hot and sexy when my fingers are inside your soaking wet pussy. Santana:Do you think that I am too hot? Y/N:oh baby your so fucking hot and sexy that your zip code should be 666 Santana:oh you see that’s not the kind of person I pray too. Y/n:Who do you pray too? Santana:well you see there’s a reason I’m always on my knees in front of you I’m praying and you always give me what I’m asking. Y/N:well how about we test your theory out? Santana:When? Y/N:you promised Brittnay you’d have a sleepover so how about tonight? Santana:well I guess that I won’t be wearing any panties this whole weekend. Y/N:if you don’t I won’t. I might just stop wearing them completely. Santana:Good maybe I need you so bad that I need to ditch Brittnay. Y/N:Goodnight love you. Santana:Love you too.

I went to bed after practicing Friday night and Saturday I woke up and decided I really needed to finish my essay so I picked up my idea book and went to the library I was able to get a couple more things out and on the paper. When I got a phone call saying that Santana got her drivers license and so they were going out to Celebrate with her entire family and they wanted me to come. So I hopped in my car and headed back home. When I got there I took a quick shower and threw on some dressy casual clothes.

But underneath was a suprise for Santana.

“Okay I’m ready.” I said as I went downstairs

“Okay she will be home in like 5 minutes she is driving down the street.” Mrs.Lopez said

Soon enough the door opened and Santana was holding her keys.

“I’m so proud of you baby girl.” Mrs.Lopez said

“Thank mom.” Santana said hugging her

“Does this mean that you will be driving me to the mall now.” I said

“Oh come on you like driving us to the mall.” Santana said

“Okay fine congrats now just don’t get into any car accidents. Be safe please.” I said

“I agree be safe.” Mr.Lopez said

“Now let’s go back in your car and head off to your dinner.” Mrs.Lopez said

“You got me a car?” Santana said

“Yes.” Mr.Lopez said

We all got in the car and headed off to the party. Which had a ton of gifts for Santana. I found some people that I recognized and walked over to the other Cheerios with Santana.

“Oh my god thank you for coming.” Santana said

“Are you kidding me you’re our best friend how couldn’t we come?” Brittnay said

“Congrats now I won’t have to drive you around everywhere.” Quinn said

“That’s what I said but be careful she scolded me for saying it.” I said

“Well we are all so proud of you.” Hope said

“I’m gonna go say hi to my family so my parents don’t get mad but then I’ll come back over here.” Santana said

“So Quinn how’s the baby doing?” I asked

“My stomach is so itchy.” Quinn said

“Yeah see I wish I had found something to help with that.” I said

“Also if I lift my shirt it looks like an alien is growing inside of me. I used to have abs.” Quinn said

“Yeah well if you work hard after you have the baby you’ll have them back in a couple years.” I said

“Years?” Quinn asked

“Yeah sorry. Have you decided what you wanted to do with the kid yet?” I asked

“No I think that I might want to keep it.” Quinn said

“We miss you at McKinley.” Brittnay said

“Yeah we do.” Quinn said

“I just miss you last year me and you spent every waking second together cause you had no friends and neither did I and now we don’t go to the same school we’re living in different households.” Hope said

“Well I can’t fix yours Hope but I am gonna come see you guys Monday.” I said

“Gift time” The Dj announced

Most of the gifts were for the car as excepted. I just didn’t realize Puck was there he gave her two gifts since he was her boyfriend. He gave her windshield wiper fluid and a picture of them to hand up. After gifts she walked up to me over by the drinks.

“WHY Didn’t you get me a gift?” She asked as I lead her to the bathroom. It was single stall so I just locked the door when I went in.

“I did I got you a lot actually. I have bought you a Subwoofer and a new Radio which will be getting installed by me sometime next weekend that and I have bought tickets for your parents anniversary this week a month long cruise and 3 weeks in Mexico. So it’s just you and me at home and for tonight. Well I guess you’ll just have to wait to see what I am wearing underneath this.” I said walking out of the bathroom leaving her flustered.

The rest of the party went by fast. We were getting ready to leave we were just waiting for her parents to finish up their conversation with one of her uncles. We waited and then they finally arrived. We drove home and her parents got in a car and drove off to the airport.

Once they were gonna Santana pulled me inside. Shut the door leaving the lights off she tore my clothes off me and then we ran up the stairs.

“Damn where have you been hiding this?” She asked.

“Oh I bought it for you today. Why do you like it?” I asked

“I would like it better off of you.” She said

I slowly started to lean over her kissing her neck where she is the most sensitive. As she unclipped the Bra. I slowly started to turn so that she would be on top of me.

“Oh so I’m the one on top today!” Santana said seductively

“Well I need to know how good you are at being road if I'm gonna be driving with you soon.” I said

“No just no.” Santana said

“Yeah that was pretty bad.” I said

“Now shut your pretty mouth so that I can get to work of you screaming my name.” Santana said

I gladly obliged as she went down to my legs and pulled them apart. She put her mouth right over my clit and started sucking rubbing her tongue back and forth. I tried to close my legs and ride her face.

She stopped and shook her head no pushing my legs back down. I concede letting her take the lead. I moaned when her fingers made contact with my aching center.

As she slid two fingers in and started thrusting in and out with her thumb following the same motion as her tongue over clit.

Yes Santana I moaned as she hit the G spot. I could feel the waves building up in me. When she finally curled both of her fingers. I exploded all over fingers and face. She moved her face coming up to my face to suck on my boobs as I finished riding out her fingers.

She came up and lied next to me in my arms kissing me as we made out. After a while of needing oxygen we let go of each other’s lips. We just laid there in silence for a few moments.

“That was…” I said

“The first of many you sent my parents away for pretty much two months. You just got yourself into a heap of trouble.” Santana said

“If this is my punishment. I guess I will just have to be really really naughty.” I said

We laid there for a little longer. Cuddling each other.

“I really need to get my homework done.” I said

“Well you could do your homework or we can have a round two.” Santana said hoping back on top of me

We went all night long. We lost track of time we didn’t realize how long we had been going at it til we could see the sun seeping through the window. In Santanas bedroom. Two sounds were filling the air Santana screaming my name as she orgasmed on my fingers and the song the birds were singing outside.

We went and laid together for a couple minutes until her alarm went off.

“You know we could just skip school.” Santana said

“That sounds so nice. We could just skip school until your parents come back.” I said

“realistically how long will you let me lay in this bed?” Santana asked

“Until 11:00am. I will have to drop you off at school and go to my Glee practice and then I’m going to see yours.” I said

“Wait are you actually letting me stay home today.” Santana asked looking at me

”Yes. I just want to sleep in with my sexy Latina girlfriend. Who kept me up all night.” I said

“Yeah well I think it was my sexy (whatever you want to put replace the next word with) Italian girlfriend was the one who started it with her gift for me passing my driving test finally I mean I am 16 and 1/2 and can finally drive.” Santana said

“Yeah well was it better gift than the windshield wiper fluid Puck gave you.” I said

“Yes babe your gifts are better than Pucks is that all you care about?” Santana asked

“No I also care about if you liked it.” I said

“I loved it i always love it when I’m on top of you and you’re screaming my name and moaning it too.” Santana said

“Okay we’ll set your alarm and let’s go to bed.” I said

We finally slept. Her twin bed felt so big with how close we were to each other.

We woke up a few hours later and got dressed and headed out to the car and I drove Santana to school. Realizing that it would be easier if we went together.

I went to Crawford and entered the choir room. I was still struggling to walk and stand from the previous nights activities.

“I haven’t seen you at all today.” Nicky said

“Hey Nicky yeah no I stayed home.” I said

“Oh I hope that you’re not sick.” Nicky said

“Nope just in pain.” I said under my breath but she still heard due to how close I was standing to her.

“Migraine?” She asked

“Yeah I think I got it from the stress of being at a new school.” I said

“Well I could maybe help you with that why don’t you stay after the club ends so I could try and help if you know what I mean.” Nicky said

“I actually have plans with my friends.” I said

“Okay well maybe you could ditch them. It won’t take long just like fourteen minutes.” Nicky said

“I’m really good I don’t have it anymore a day of sleep helped.” I said knowing what she was getting at

We had the meeting which lasted until two o’clock. I had finished packing up by backpack but was in the corner putting my guitar away in its bag.

“You know my offer still stands I don’t live far from here.” Nicky said

“No I have plans with my friends.” I said adamantly

“What so special about these friends.” Nicky asked confidently strutting towards me

“There like my family.” I said as she stood right in front of me with the look in her eyes that Santana had when she looked at me.

(This is Nicky)

I pushed her away and walked away.

“Hey Y/L/N who got you waking like that?” Nicky said

“My hot sexy cheerleader girlfriend.” I said without thinking

“Is she gonna be there?” Nicky asked

“I mean it is her school.” I said

“Well tell her to not let her girlfriend out of her eyes because I could easily steal her.” Nicky said

“Nope shes already got me under lock and key. I belong to her.” I said as I walked out of the room and left the building.

I was sat in Glee club next in the corner so that I wouldn’t interfere with anything but so that I could still watch.

I kept my hand on my mouth as every time I saw Santana I just kept saying I am so gay. I mean there wasn’t even dancing they were moving their hair around. But I mean she was so hot her outfit everything. I watched in amazement wishing that it would never end. The deaf kids didn’t seem as impressed as me if at all.

The deaf kids song was really moving. Especially once the New directions stood up and started doing it with them. It reminded me of when I did silent night in sign language with my middle school choir.

Me and Santana left together after the performance. That night we had fun activities we had decided to take a break while Santana went downstairs to get our take out from breadsticks. When I got a phone call from Quinn.

“Y/N I have no clue what to do.” Quinn said crying and hyperventilating

“Quinn calm down where are you at.” I asked

“Pucks house I’m downstairs.” Quinn said crying

“I’m on my way okay. What’s the address ” I said jumping out of the bed and throwing some clothes on.

She gave me the address and I grabbed my keys and hopped in the car and drove to Pucks house. I ran up to the door and Knocked on the door.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Puck said opening the door

“Quinn wanted some mother advice something about her pregnancy.” I said not sure if he had done something to her

“Yeah she’s downstairs.” Puck said

I ran downstairs and saw her lying on the couch crying. I ran over and wrapped my arms around her.

“What happened?” I asked

“I thought that Puck was going to be a good father. I wanted to check so on Friday I had him babysit Mr.Schues Nephews with me.” Quinn said

“And what?” I asked

“He and Santana were sexting the entire time.” Quinn said showing me the pictures she had taken of his phone.

“What did you do?” I asked

“I told Mr.Schue’s ex wife that she could have the baby. She wants it so that Mr.Schue will take her back.” Quinn said

“Oh come here I got you okay but we aren’t giving the baby to her. Do you want your daughter to turn out as psychotic as her and her sister.” I said

“No.” Quinn said

“I can hook you up with my adoption agency or we can take it one step at a time.” I said

“Do you regret giving up your daughter?” Quinn asked

“Every single day. I would have been a great mother. But I also couldn’t have joined Glee and I would never have had time to watch Cheerio practice. So the life I have know wouldn’t exist.” I said

“I’m sorry I called you about this I know it probably hurts you. I know that you have crush on Santana and most of us Cheerios. You blush every time we talk to you.” Quinn said

“Yeah well there is a lot of hurt you have to go through when you’re a lesbian who usually falls for straight girls. Who are already in a relationship.” I said

“You’re telling me.” Quinn said quietly

“What did you say? Does Quinn Fabray have a girl crush.” I said

“What no?” Quinn said

“Coach Sylvester.” I said

“Gross” Quinn said

“Tina” I said

“No” Quinn said

“Okay fast round Brittnay.” I said

“No” Quinn said

“Too bad you too would be hot together.” I said

“Is that really who you ship in Glee club.” Quinn said

“No.” I said

“Then who do you ship?” Quinn asked

“Not saying.” I said

“Oh you have an ego so you’ll definitely ship someone with yourself. Do you ship a foursome with the unholy trinity.” Quinn asked

“Hey I’m not the one being Questioned here.” I said

“That wasn’t a no. You know what I understand that it is kinda hot. Too bad we’re all straight.” Quinn said

“You can’t say I’m straight and having a foursome with me, Brittnay and Santana is hot in the same sentence. It’s counter productive it’s like care Blanchett saying I’m married any time something gay happens.” I said

“Sure.” Quinn said

“Is your girl crush me?” I said smirking

“You wish.” Quinn said

“You know what I really do.” I said

“Okay well there’s only a couple left it isn’t Rachel is it.” I said

Quinn looked away

“O oh my god it is.” I said

“That just makes me sad.” I said

“Why?” Quinn asked

“Cause you could have a crush on anyone in glee and you choose her. You choose the straightest one. Also if you two do get together I’m not going to the wedding.” I said

“Do you hate her that much?” Quinn said

“Yes.” I said

“What has she done to you.” Quinn asked

“She foiled my plan for making you three fall madly in love with me also she gets everything she wants and she’s way to happy the only things that should be that happy are babies and dogs.” I said

“What was your plan?” Quinn asked

“Get you all to leave your boyfriend’s get Santana and Brittnay to finally get together.” I said

“Wait you know those two like each other I thought that I was the only one who saw it.” Quinn said

“I’m happy I’m not alone in seeing that. Anyway then I would beat someone up cause according to my sister you all found me hot when you guys were creeping on me and watched me beat the shit out of karofosky.” I said

“She told you about that? I mean it was hot only an idiot would think it wasn’t.” Quinn said

“Well what if I go beat Puck up. He deserves it.” I said

“That would not do anything.” Quinn said

“Dang it you know he has a very punchable face.” I said

“I think that you just jealous. That he got all of the wemon you like without trying.” Quinn said

“Wrong he had to get you drunk to get with you. I would never do that.” I said

“Shut up do you wanna watch a movie with me.” Quinn said

“Yes please.” I said picking up the blanket on the ground as we both laid down.

“Cream cheese covered pickle.” Quinn said overlong me one of her snacks

“Hell yeah.” I said grabbing one and biting into it.

“Puck thinks they’re gross.” Quinn said

“Well when I was pregnant I ate lemons that were covered in hot sauce.” I said

“That’s disgusting.” Quinn said

“You know what’s gross my craving for hot sauce was from before I was pregnant I used to drink bottles of hot sauce.” I said

“You must be loving living with a Latina family then. I know Santana’s family loves their spicy food.” Quinn said

“I know it’s my heaven.” I said as the movie started

After being four movies into the Harry Potter series Quinn fell asleep on me. I headed upstairs.

“Is she better?” Puck asked

“Yeah she is.” I said

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Puck said

“Look trust me I know it’s hard. But lose your playboy ways and that baby will be in your life. You’ll be a dad and a good one at that.” I said

“That’s easy for you too say you keep on flirting with both my girlfriends.” Puck said

“Puck when you have too girlfriends you have an issue you’re going to have to choose Santana or Quinn and you better choose before you lose both of them.” I said

“What to you.” Puck said

Yes to me I am already fucking Santana and I easily could have taken that flirting down stairs in another direction “No they are straight they will never like me and I have come to terms with that.” I said

“Thank you.” Puck said

“No problem.” I said

“Hey did you need anything?” Puck asked

“Yeah actually could I borrow your phone I will bring it to you tomorrow my phone just died and I need to text my sister cause I’m meeting up with her and Matt.” I said

“Yeah sure just don’t look at any of the text.” Puck said

“I mean unless you’re sending dick pics to my sister then we will be fine.” I said

“Your sister’s Matt’s I’m not fucking with that.” Puck said

I got in the car and drove back to Santanas house. I sat in the car for a little bit. Comparing there texts to ours they were practically the same. Except Santana had clearly excepted his offer to have sex. Whereas I was being a good person and told her to stay with Brittnay.

“Where have you been?” Santana asked as soon as I came in

“Just helping someone out.” I said putting my jacket down

“Well I have been worried sick.” Santana said

“Oh really cause I think you have been sexting Puck just like you were Friday.” I said throwing both of the phones showing the text on the counter. “Come on Santana you were sexting us at the same time how long do you think it will take until you’ll have to choose which one of us. What would have happened if I had told you to come over and didn’t tell you to stay at Britney’s who would you have chosen.” I said

“Why were you even at his house?” Santana asked

“Quinn called me crying cause the baby was feeling weird and she knew that I would probably know what it was. Then after we had dealt with her Braxton hicks she told me about her plan to keep the baby and to raise it with puck and that she had him babysit to see how he was with kids and how the entire time he was sexting you.” I said

“What are you saying?” Santana asked

“Maybe we need to take some time apart you need to figure out what you want. I am gonna be staying downstairs. We’re just gonna be friends. Cause I can’t keep letting you break my heart one day your telling me you love me the next day your having sex with Puck.” I said

#lesbain #queer #lesbian community #quinn fabray imagine #quinn fabray x reader #santana lopez #santana lopez imagine #glee #glee x reader

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