#just stop pretending you actually wanna do some shit and stab someone. we all know you aren't gonna.

[snekdood]

i cant help but cringe at people who are like. edgy "i want to stab people" creepy smiling anime girl with sharp teeth and a knife.png and listens to nine inch nails type ass people. i hate it bc thats what i was like as a fucking child but sometimes its full ass grown adults acting this way and its like 🥴 ok bud

[absgay]

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ “I still remember the moment we met, the touch that she planted, the garden she left. I guess the rain was just half that effect.” ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

words count: 1.7k

“No need to imagine, cause’ I know it’s true. They say all good girls go to heaven, but bad girls bring heaven to you.”

warnings: 18+ minors dni, angst, grammar, f*buddy!abby, college!abby, sexual tension, some jealousy, idk i’m not good at this, smut.

part one, part two, next part.

Fuck this, fuck them, fuck her. You didn’t want to see Abby Anderson ever again, you didn’t want to talk about her or think about her either. It started with a basic conversation between two young women in the bathroom, comments, intrusive questions, then came the facts and revelations, the ugly truth.

“Idiot— So stupid.” you murmured as you went down the stairs. You needed some time to digest it, some space. Unfortunately, the universe didn’t seem to be on your side today. “Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart!” Abby shouted as she stood in the hallway. Great timing, great, great, great. The blond’s enthusiasm died as you headed to your room without a word.

You weren’t surprised but frustrated as she followed you. Leave me alone, go away, fuck off. You looked down and sighed, you didn’t feel tough enough to confront her. “I don’t wanna talk to you, Abby.”

“Okay…” She responded with an uncertain tone. You felt small, naive and weak as an intense sadness stabbed your heart. “At least, tell me why or what happened to—” Abby’s gorgeous blue eyes widened as you kicked the door. “Hey— Stop.”

She seemed genuinely worried as you unlocked it, after the second try. She spinned you around by the wrist, asking questions, trying to understand what was going on with you.

“Did something happen or—”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you managed to say after a few seconds, even though you were overwhelmed by your own emotions as they all fought together. “I feel so dumb, Abby— I thought things were different between us, I thought I was different and—” Don’t cry, don’t cry, not now. “But it’s not, because you fucked Nancy at this stupid party and then came to the library, flirted with me and decided it’d be fun to fuck me as well. You know what— You’re no better than the others, you’re nothing more than an asshole who pretends to be nice and to have morals so she doesn’t have to face any consequences.” Outch.

Abby didn’t say anything at first, shocked and confused. It was a nightmare, it couldn’t be real, you weren’t actually mad at her, right? She swallowed hard, your words and tone held so much disappointment and hatred, it fuckin’ hurt.

“I— I’m gonna be late for practice.” She turned around, ready to leave but at the last minute, decided to take another look at you. “I don't know what she told you, what you heard or whatever but I pulled away as soon as Nancy kissed me.” Abby said. “You’re the reason I went there in the first place. I came and left with only one thing in mind, you.”

You almost called the blond’s name as she walked away, almost. You shouldn’t have said that, any of it. You stood in the hallway and listened as Abby slammed the door hard on her way out, heart heavy and thoughts racing.

“Do you remember how you two first met?” Your roommate asked. She was looking at you from across the room, seated at her desk. “God— You were so angry.” She laughed.

Yes, unfortunately. It started back in autumn. You were in bed, complaining, groaning and turning around endlessly as music blasted from someone else’s room, once again.

“Where are you going? Hey— Trust me, it’s not worth it.” Your roommate had said to you. “They’ll stop eventually.” You didn’t listen and headed to the stranger’s room with determination.

You knocked once, twice, thrice, the music stopped. You looked around the hallway as you waited, ready to argue with whoever lived here. But as the stranger opened the door, you stepped back, captivated by the attractive blond woman standing right in front of you.

“Oh— Hey.” she said. “Can I help you?”

She looked really, really, too good. “Yes.” But, you couldn’t let the woman’s appearance distract you though, attractive or not: she was still annoying. “Shut down the music and let us get some fuckin’ sleep.”

She smiled, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” You sighed at the blond’s flirtatious tone. “I’m Abby.”

“And I’m exhausted.” She huffed, chuckled even as you stood there, frustrated by her reaction. “I’m serious, shut it down.”

Abby leaned towards you with a smirk. “Sure— Anything for you.” Then, she stepped back and shut the door in your face.

Your mouth dropped. “What the—” She had turned the music back on. “Fine.”

From then on, you annoyed each other on a daily basis. On some random monday night, she’d decide to play with your nerves by blasting music until one in the morning. On tuesday, you’d tell everyone she has chlamydia. An immature game you both secretly enjoyed at the time.

One evening, as you were coming back from a friend’s party, you saw a woman leaving Abby’s room, once again.

“Neighbour.” Abby nodded at you. “Nice dress.”

“Dickhead.” She chuckled softly as you stood in front of her, arms crossed and thighs pressed together, the blond’s eyes lingering over your bare legs. “Well— You must be exhausted after your fifth dick appointment of the day.” It sounded bitter, which made you regret it instantly, your stomach twisted in jealousy and embarrassment.

She hummed, amused. “Yeah...” Abby stretched exaggeratedly, then flexed her biceps as you rolled your eyes. “But don’t worry about it, I can ruin my sleep schedule and add a sixth one for you.”

“How thoughtful. I’m gonna have to decline the offer though. You see, I’d rather get some sleep than chlamydia.”

Abby frowned. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why does everybody keep saying that? I don’t have chla—” You chuckled and looked away. “Oh, I see— You’re truly something else.” Abby said. “Now, there’s better ways to get my attention.”

“Right.” You snorted at the blond’s face. “My mission in life.”

Abby huffed and leaned towards you. “Okay— Listen to me, smart-ass. I’d fuck you so good, you’d see stars.” She hummed, looking down at your parted lips. “Yeah— I’m sure your pretty mouth would feel good on mine. You’d sound so sweet moaning and screaming my name, needy little brat.”

Your heart stopped, time stopped. You couldn’t think straight anymore. It was unexpected, bold and so hot. Flustered, you remained silent in shock as Abby looked at you attentively, trying to decode your features. The blond’s face was so close to yours, yet so far away.

“Admit it— You want me.”

“What, no— You want me.”

“I do.” Abby confessed. “And— I must be an actual masochist, because you’re a pain in the ass, sweetheart.”

You hummed, swallowed hard, your cheeks flushed, knees weak, panties soaked as she stared at you with such nasty, hungry eyes. Fuck, calm down.

To be honest, you didn’t want to deny the sexual tension between you two anymore. It was an unwanted attraction built on curiosity and frustration, heated conversations at midnight, arguments in class, flirty comments at lunch, short glanced at parties, unanswered questions as you both secretly wondered: What if? How would it feel? How would it be? Gentle, rough, passionate? So many possibilities, so many hidden feelings, so much desire.

Unfortunately, as much as you wanted to know, as much as your body ached for hers, you didn’t wanna be one of these women, the one who leaves the blond’s room in the early morning glow and hopes she’ll call them back soon, because she never does.

“I don’t wanna be your sixth dick appointment of the day.” You stepped back.

She sighed. “Well— Technically, it’s past midnight, which means you’d be the first one today.”

You chuckled and shook your head as she smiled. “Goodnight, Anderson.”

“Goodnight.”

You turned around to head back to your own room, emotionally wrecked by the blond’s last few words. Luckily, Abby didn’t want you to leave, wouldn’t let it happen, not so easily, not like that. You yelped as she grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a kiss, your eyes widening, your body collapsing against hers.

“Fuck— I’m sorry.” Abby breathed. “I should’ve asked you first. I didn’t mean to— I thought we were— I don’t know.” She sounded so nervous, it surprised you. “Say something.”

Shit. A one-night stand couldn’t hurt, right? You needed to feed your curiosity somehow. “This is a one time thing.” you murmured, the blond dragging you into the dark room instantly as you responded.

Abby moaned softly as you pushed her against the nearest wall, your body overwhelmed by lust, the heat rushing down to your stomach as you kissed the blond passionately for the first time. Abby’s hands moved down to your ass, rough palms and thick fingers disappearing underneath your dress with eagerness.

“Shit—” you breathed in shock, the blond’s hands ripping apart your panties as she groaned against your neck, like an animal. “No, no— These were brand new— I fuckin’ hate you.”

You moaned and pulled at Abby’s braid, eyes closed and head falling backwards as she kissed your shoulder, then bit it. “Oh, Yeah— Do you wanna fight about it?”

“I do.” you whispered back.

Abby sat against the headboard as you lay between her thighs, your back pressed against her bare chest. She moved one hand down to your stomach and smiled as you whined in anticipation, eyes glancing at the blond’s hand approaching your inner thigh. Abby’s fingers moved across your clit teasing it, her mouth dropping as she sensed how wet you were for her.

“Please.” you murmured, frustrated. “Please—”

Abby’s second hand covered your mouth as she touched you, fingering you hard and fast, your moans and whines muffled, your own hands gripping on the woman’s veiny arms.

“Look at me.” Abby murmured with a serious tone. “Oh, fuck— You’re so pretty, so good for me.” You whined at her words, looking up at Abby with bright eyes, your mascara ruined by the sweat and tears. “See— I knew you’d love it."

“Abby— Fuck.” you cried between short breathes as the blond’s hand went from your mouth to your throat. “I’m— I’m—” She added pressure, smirking.

“That’s it, that’s it— Fuck, sweetheart— Come for me.”

Yes. You remember the quiet hallway, the rain, the sunrise as you headed out quietly, the shy glances and smiles you both shared at the door. Abby’s hands catching your waist, the blond’s lips capturing yours as she held you tight one last time, before letting you go.

Yes, you remembered it all too well.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

next part.

[sanchoyo]

i started watching arc v! finally. after years of saying Im Gonna. its Happening. (i've tried to twice and cant recall what eps i got to in those attempts, because I literally dont remember anything at ALL LMAO) I'm like, 15 eps in and may I just say some Things. ep 1-15 thoughts below the Cut

-yuzu best girl immediately my god shes already been done dirty tho. she shouldve gotten to fight shingo! fuck emo yuya for stopping it and stepping in! (altho yaaaay xyz :3 my beloved) and also she loses the first duel we see her get to do? when her dad is literally the owner of a duel school?? and his school was at stake?? bc she was distracted thinking of Not Yuya? no. fuck off with that lol I'm picking her up and mentally rewriting all that. the girl she dueled against was super fun tho, I ship them tbh.

-yuya is finally the canonical clown ygo protag I needed. he dresses as a clown in ep 1! he has! a circus deck! thats so fun! hes a LOT more melancholic/prone to moodiness than I expected...the goggles as a mood indicator is fun. also seems to care VERY much what ppl think/need lots of applause and praise or he gets upset quickly which. like, wanting to put smiles on ppls faces with dueling is a sweet goal, but a lot of it feels self-serving, too, which is Inchresting for a protag...I LIKE it and want to see where it goes

-and the whole 'laugh when you want to cry' is, ngl, very Bad and Unhealthy and I cant imagine we're going anywhere good with that. (seriously, dont recall what ep, maybe 4 or 5, when the kids and yuzu were in danger he started LAUGHING trying to imrpove his own mood and i was like DUDE. UNNERVING STOP THAT.) let him feel his feelings guys. or this is going to go severely Bad I Think

-dont trust sora but also no shit? his intro is him being sus, basically outright saying 'ya where I come from everyone does fusion, nbd' yeah hes some kind of spy or SOMETHING for that academia that emo yuya was taking abt. and his deck is very cute but also has a dark side/creepy cute thing going on and this is ygo where Decks Indicate Personality, so. just kinda Waiting for him to Stab Backs. hes already kind of a little shit

-he 100% shouldve been dueling that guy gongenzaka had to duel! gongenzaka doesnt even GO here and ms Chairman said someone from this school had to duel her school students! if you want to fake being friends with yuya! you need to fucking put in some EFFORT!!! and at least pretend to give a shit dude, this is the school the guy you supposedly admire attends!!! it comes off as u not giving a fuck abt anything besides pendulum/yuya-related stuff which is gonna make yuya less inclined to wanna be ur friend bc u look like a brat! (I know the meta answer is that they wanted to give gongenzaka some screentime to convince me hes yuyas bff or w/e but. in my mind its been 10 or so eps by this point, yuzu is yuyas bff in my mind lol. )

-anyway that aside soras deck is SO cute. the BEARS!! ARE IN!!!! the 'acting younger/cuter than u are' shtick is already kind of annoying tho. I do like his chara design tho (at least his hair/face? Id redesign his outfit ngl if hes going for a cutecore/sweets theme why not go ALL in yk)

-gongenzaka's whole 'no spells/traps' and standing in one spot during an action duel is objectively really funny

-action duels in general are SO FUN!!! i want to ride my monsters too..i kno theyd be soft. pls.

-really wanted to see more masumi or her vs yuya!!! so sad reiji stepped in. pls let the girls DO MORE!!! i love that she used gem knights!! I love gem knights!!!

-didnt know reiji used d/d/d cards, immediately broke out into a cold sweat upon seeing them. those decks always destroy me in duel links in like 2 turns jkasfkjjn.

-its so funny theres entire classes just for synchro and xyz and most ppl in this world can just Do One of them Only. like everyone being SHOCKED reiji can do All of them LMAO.

-surprised at how much I like reiji actually from just what ive seen up to this point, I mean I Like the other ygo rivals and all but usually they have an Attitude...but hes very polite to yuya and him saying he respects yuya's dad is REFRESHING compared to everyone else calling his dad a coward (for?? seemingly going MISSING??) his fashion choices leave a lot to be desired tho. but otherwise him and yuzu are my favs so far I think...we'll see if this changes!

-I KNOW charas from other series get involved, dont know WHEN thatll be, but I am Excitedly Waiting. give me The King Jack. Give me Kaito. I dont know who all besides those two shows up Actually But Im WAITING AAAA.

[moxiemaemaple]

Dear Diary~ 003 'Uppies'

Uppies.

I'll never get them. For so long I would observe other couples and watch how they love on each other. Built this list of things I wanted, things I wish someone would do for me. Uppies is one. Stop saying I'm beautiful, I already know…Just pick me the fuck up like a princess!

Its so stupid. I cry every night everything. Uppies isn't the only thing but it comes up because its something now I'll never experience… Years I settled in my past city. I dated so many losers in my past and not a single one gave me uppies and it kinda rips me up inside. Its like a first kiss. It is like how one day I wanted to climb that mountain… I was so stupid to think one day someone would purpose to me up there. Just weaponized to cheat on me once…

Was I never anyones queen? Was I never good enough… Those intrusive thoughts murder my self worth. I was good enough for everything else. Not really. I got cheated on so many times that I can't help not think its something to do with me. Good enough to fuck I guess? Good enough to parade around for a little but not settle with. Not good enough to show the world 'this girl is mine' and give me some fucking uppies?!

It all doesn't matter anymore. I'll never get uppies. I might dress up like Barbie and pretend, doesn't disguise the trash I must be. Tossed away like I'm worthless. Again, and again. Whats wrong with people? Or me?

I'll never understand. I'm tired of putting in all the effort to try and love. Anytime I open my vitals an someone just stabs me. I hurt too much. I think about all the whores who fucked my former partners and what they had over me. A toxic thing to reflect on but when it happens nearly four times in a row you really begin to wonder. What did those bitches have over me?

I can cosplay anything. Proven I can learn skills on a weekend like some fucking genius! I have taught myself so many skills, building myself literally up like Barbie. Trying to become the most likable. Pickmeshia shit. I think about all I've done, all I know how to do, what I've done over and over for others but then time and time sees some brainlet just say hi and there goes my property. Keep them, trash.

You ever have so much self worth you just feel like everyone is below you now? Like getting cheated on is some method of humbling me cause they couldn't match my boss bitch energy? I don't see many going to weekly therapy trying to iron out jack shit. My mastery of hip winds in dance is something I've worked and practiced for hundred of hours, then some low grade wanna be stripper just bends over and that's 'h0t'. Low effort. I just think I could do better in my head.

I try and stop comparing though when I see what others have I can't help it. I'm outcasted consistently from everything. No matter how I present. In fact dressing up literally like a bimbo I feel has gained me MORE HATE. Being super nice to everyone and neutral makes you hated. Tell me the logic of that. I can't fucking win. What the fuck is wrong with people and this existence?

How do I stop being made into a fucking villain and finally I can be a queen?!

So we come back around. Why do they deserve to be given uppies and not once was I? I'm like a cat, I used up all nine lives in the last place. Love is bullshit. Pretty sure people are incapable of loving me. Bullshitters, all liars wanting ass. Or maybe love just doesn't actually exist, cause I'm trapped in fucking hell.

Dreaming of that knight who jumps any novel, any story to keep my love is just asking for too much. I wish while cosplaying Misa Misa from Death Note I could actually write some names into a book… Cause Kira turns out to always be a piece of shit. Makes no sense I put a hundred and get zero back everytime. I keep wishing there was someone just like me. There isn't. At least I'm starting to lose faith in soul mates being a real concept. Just fairy tales.

Fairy tales I dream about every night as I get uppies through a beautiful park. Loved and not dropped into a bin at the end.

[phoenixyfriend]

OKAY so on the topic of Star Wars takes wrt “character ends up in an A/B/O universe where they’re an omega, but they were previously a cis male in their canon”

@atagotiak and I had some Thoughts on discord

So, obviously, Anakin would make a good omega and he’s also incredibly murdery. Foregone conclusion that we're using him for this.

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse. He shows up JUST as the war is starting. Canon timeline is in the third year of the war (he’s 22), but whatever dumped him into omegaverse also tossed him back a few years. No de-aging, just a bit of mismatched timeline stuff.

He's... really good at war, and clearly a Jedi, so the Temple just kind of goes "WELL OKAY THEN, SURE, YOU'RE IN, EVERYONE PRETEND HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME." The Jedi, by and large, don't care about omegaverse dynamics beyond 'what do you need, medically, to be happy and healthy' and 'what do you need to be aware of so you can be prepared for biases you encounter in the field?’

None of the civilian natborns (mainly politicians) want to put him on the field because of those biases. Anakin, being Anakin, is VERY blatantly an omega in scent, has never been on suppressants (because it wasn't a thing he fucking NEEDED), is incredibly emotional as a person, loves kids, etc.

Like, nobody wants an omega fighting a war anyway, but THIS one is like PINNACLE omega, and those awful Jedi are making him FIGHT just because he's good at stab!

The Jedi: Actually, it's because he's got several years of war experience that we don't, and he's a good tactician that works well with the clones-- Coruscant: You MONSTERS The Jedi: Look, we gave him the option to not stab and he looked absolutely devastated. Anakin, several days earlier: You don’t want me? I’m not good enough??? Jedi: Also he can beat up at least half the temple.

He doesn't know a damn thing about dynamics, but he DOES know that sometimes he's so horny he wants to stab HARDER. The clones are largely disinterested in their generals' dynamics because between mostly-Mando* trainers and no-dynamic Kaminoans, they only really care if a person can shoot.

* Mandalore approves of Fighty Omegas. As far as (traditional) Mandalore is concerned, you want an omega that will kill the threats to your children as well as you do.

Anakin: You know more about being an omega than I do. Rex: ...I'm an alpha. Anakin: Yeah. Let that one sink in a bit.

We have two options for Obi-Wan!

Omegaverse local Obi-Wan (beta) has never met this man before, and is very unnerved that the immediate default reaction Anakin has to his presence is releasing Family pheromones as if Obi-Wan is his DAD and like. This strange, too-tall man from another dimension has got absolutely NO control over what he projects in the Force OR in his dynamic.

Obi-Wan was ALSO transplanted from canon to omegaverse, and is also an omega, for contrast reasons. He is nice and friendly and and likes poetry and that sort of thing... but also he has the highest dismemberment count in the movies. Also he doesn’t prioritize romance.

We went with the second one because it's hilarious.

Someone watching them spar: Wow, omegas from that universe are terrifying.

As previously mentioned, now with some tweaking to account for both: Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don't exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood. (It's mostly not theirs.)

Nobody realizes either one is an omega until they "naturalize" to this dimension and Anakin goes into heat... and doesn't realize it, actually, because his primary symptom is heightened protectiveness and aggression. Everyone else with the right nose realizes, because the man has no control over his pheromone production, but Anakin? No. He just stabs. He’s angry and horny and he will cut someone.

Ahsoka has no reaction to human pheromones but basically everyone smells Anakin's "my child!" reaction to her, so... Cool. Have a padawan, we guess.

Anakin ends up sparring a lot with Aayla and Ahsoka, because only humans and near humans have dynamics, so these two don't REACT to the pheromones situation.

(Palpatine is a Kindly Old Beta who tries to treat Anakin the way he EXPECTS Anakin wants to be treated, which is. Not. Accurate.)

(Anakin hates it.)

I'm just so in love with "An omega can't fight." "You wanna fuckin' bet?"

There are plenty of omega Jedi, by the way, it's just... most of them can keep it relatively low-key instead of Anakin's jet-engine broadcast. Some, if they're known to be omega, probably take advantage of being underestimated, like Obi-Wan probably (and especially a version of Obi-Wan that was always an omega, unlike this version). They have a very different way of presenting themselves than Anakin, who's not subtle about being an omega and also not subtle about being all aggressive and stabby.

At one point, Anakin has to protect some Very Traditional Individuals who get all "Stay back, Omega, it's not safe!" and he's just... so tired of this shit. “You are squishy civilians and I'm a trained Jedi Knight and accomplished GAR General who's killed more people in one sitting than there are in this entire palace. Sit the fuck down and let me do my job.”

It starts making the rounds that Anakin insisted on fighting in person, and the rumors shift from "how dare the Jedi force an omega to fight" and over into things that are deeply hurtful in-universe in the vein of "broken omega" and some people try to say it to his face but like...

He didn't grow up here.

He doesn't care.

Say that to one of his friends and he's going to rip out your spleen, probably, but say it to him and he's just staring at you flatly and asking if that's a negative on getting away from the encroaching battle droids, sir?

"You're rather unpleasant for an omega, aren't you?" [deeply offensive] "I literally could not give less of a fuck about your opinion. Move."

It's not that there aren't omegas that act like Anakin, either, it's just that most of them aren't, you know, Jedi who regularly interact with the upper crust, or capable of his level of destruction. Unbeknownst to Anakin, everyone clocks him as Outer Rim based on his behavior, well before his accent gives him away, and certainly before he mentions he's from Tatooine, because Core Omegas Don't Act Like That.

Someone they meet in a more diplomatic setting says something decently passive-aggressive about how at least Obi-Wan acts more like how an Omega should. Then a battle breaks out for some reason, and... well. Anakin and Obi-Wan cause such a scandal by keeping score of kills in a battle, don’t you know?

Turns out sending Anakin to fight Ventress is great because she keeps expecting him to react a certain way but NO he's here to STAB.

I like the idea that Obi-Wan's favorite opponent these days is Grievous because the cyborg doesn't have a nose, and thus gives zero fucks about dynamics or heats. Dooku is a rich old man who has opinions heavily influenced by Sith Juice Making Him More of a Dick, and the Dathomiri can smell dynamics even if they don't have them, and so they have biases about those things. Meanwhile, Grievous is just there to Kill, and Obi-Wan genuinely appreciates the lack of commentary on his dynamic.

Dooku’s probably an alpha, or a beta who's used the whole "we are more level-headed" thing as one of several angles to keep himself the public face and supreme commander of the CIS.

On to more fluffy things that have less to do with political biases.

There's a lot of "I'm upset that my loved ones don't know me," but also please understand the appeal of Obi-Wan marching up to Quinlan like "Yes, hello, I understand you've been read in on the full situation behind myself and my former padawan. I was close friends with your alternate universe self, which I feel is necessary disclosure before I propose the following: Would you like to join me for my upcoming heat, as I have minimal experience with the dynamics situation and even fewer people I actually trust, and I believe I can put my faith in you to treat it as casually as necessary while still having control and respect for my person."

(The Team is in a fairly safe place to process stuff, but having sudden unexpected changes to your biology has gotta be a little traumatizing, on top of ending up in a universe where none of your friends know you and people have a whole host of unfamiliar forms of sexism to point at you.)

Obi-Wan, who wasn't quite touch-averse but was much more easily overwhelmed by physical contact than Anakin (who craved it), suddenly finds his body switching gears and insisting on cuddles with Trusted Loved Ones, which is.... mostly Anakin, on account of nobody else really knowing him yet. Also Ahsoka, who is aware that she's something of a replacement for her alt-universe self, but Anakin explained it as "I love you so much no matter which dimension I'm in or what you're like, and I'd like to get to know you the way I got know her."

(It's rather eloquent for Anakin. He got Obi-Wan to help him draft up the script for when he pitched taking on omegaverse Ahsoka as a padawan.)

Anakin gets a more intensely sexual heat than 'usual' at one point for Reasons (IDK it could be as innocuous as 'we got better food than the usual rations and my body is reacting to the higher fat content with the belief that it's safer to have a baby now'), which nobody takes a whole lot of notice of because they're in a WAR, and also this is only his fourth one so it's not like he's got a lot to compare it to... except then the predominantly alpha clones can't stop themselves from reacting to the pheromones, mostly by wandering past his door and asking if he needs anything, offering up alpha-scented blankets and stuff for the nest to soothe the hormones, bringing snacks and electrolyte drinks, and like, Anakin is flattered, really, but fuck off please.

(He got a warning from medical a few hours before it hit that it would be different, so he actually does have alpha-scented fabrics to help him out. Apparently that's a thing you can just ask friends for, so he asked Rex if he had anything on hand that he could spare. He now has one of Rex’s recently-used sheets and a bodyglove in the nest.)

(Anakin has no idea how to feel about the nesting instinct, but at least it’s warm.)

Tia asked "Oh hey, who has the scared and horny reaction to his carnage?" and like.

Listen. I'm not saying I've been low-key imagining this as Rex being a very subby alpha who's really into Anakin's whole Thing but...

At one point Anakin gets injured in a way that requires painkillers and he ends up whining to the point of almost crying about the fact that nobody is cuddling him right now in medbay and Kix just gives up and comms Ahsoka to come hug her weird older brother.

And Then There Is Purring.

That’s a Thing Now.

Rex ends up in the pile somehow. He came over to check on Things and ended up yanked in by half-asleep, half-high Anakin, who has a grip like an octopus and no impulse control and is purring like a pod motor while NUZZLING HIM.

There’s a lot of blackmail photos featuring Rex’s very intense blush as he’s cuddled by his commander (giggling at him) and general (clinging like a tooka and rubbing himself all over).

Anakin is deeply offended that ANYONE thinks he'd want to get pregnant by just any old person, NO he needs to fall in LOVE there needs to be EMOTIONAL DRAMA and if Padme won't have him (apparently she's in a relationship and no he's not BITTER) then he'll find someone else to have a whirlwind romance with!

People think Anakin's a slut because he can't control his pheromone production (he has NO practice and for health reasons he can't go on suppressants) so he always smells open and ready for flirtations, which Obi-Wan also has to a somewhat lesser degree (he's older so his body just naturally produces less), and then someone tries to cross a boundary and grabs his ass and ANYWAY Anakin has to now fill out an incident report for breaking a civilian's arm.

Again.

[bastillewolf]

Kinda Sketchy (II)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Request: “Can you do a part two of kinda sketchy where they slowly fall in love?”

Notes: Sorry this took me so long, but I had zero inspiration as the request left a lot of questions hahaha. Still fun to write, I hope you like it!

Tag list closed.

Chapter II

You’d fallen into a routine for a while. You’d do groceries, he’d do the dishes. You switched cooking, though it was also fine if neither of you felt like it, which is when you’d just order takeout or eat leftovers. But what seemed like the normal thing for two roommates to do on a spoken terms of agreement, it actually appeared you did those things for each other because you wanted to. You’d find some left over dishes in his room which you’d clean, and the next morning you’d find the forgotten tea on your nightstand already back in the cupboard. If you fell asleep working, reading, or watching something on TV, you’d somehow always end up in your bed even though you couldn’t remember getting up to get there yourself.

It had grown into this wonderful friendship between two people who had found it convenient to live together. You knew he could just as well live on his own now, knowing how big his YouTube channel had gotten within the time you’d first seen it up until now- in only a few months, at that. You’d asked him about it, but he’d simply brushed it off, saying it was easier for him this way. He wasn’t sure if he would ever do a face reveal, and having you go outside so he didn’t have to was a great bonus to the shared rent and company. It had hurt you slightly to hear him talk about it so plainly when you had already realized you were starting to feel more for him than you were supposed to.

It had started gradually, to be honest. You hadn’t noticed it at first. You simply took for granted all the times he jokingly bumped his shoulder into yours, or when he hugged you tight when he saw you needed it, or when he even kissed you on the cheek while having a debate with you on what a ‘chef’s kiss’ meant when you’d cooked a – if you may say so yourself – sublime meal.

But now, you had to miss all of those things. It seemed, when you agreed to his basic explanation of how easy it was for him with you living here in order to hide your disappointment, he’d seen it as a sign to stop doing all of those things for granted.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, please. But it’s just easier. I’ve gotten recognized before in a drive-through and I don’t want to go through that ever again,” he said.

You shook your head, even though your heart was plummeting down a set of stairs. “No, I completely get it. We’re roommates and it’s what we agreed upon. That’s it.”

“That’s it,” he repeated.

And that was it. The cups of leftover tea on your nightstand had started to form a fort, and you suddenly found yourself waking up on the couch in the middle of the night, feeling cold and grouchy as you realized you had to walk back to your bed. If you did sleep there until morning, you’d wake up from the sound of the coffee machine with a mumbled ‘sorry’ from your roommate, but other than that, he never said anything about it.

You’d wondered if he was angry with you. You’d even made a peace offering by cleaning up the mess in his room. Even that he didn’t mention.

So, one night while you were waiting on him at the table to show up for dinner, he didn’t come. He wasn’t in the apartment, he hadn’t texted you, he hadn’t left a note. He was nowhere to be found. Of course, you’d think something happened to him. You called Sykkuno first, and luckily you’d chosen exactly the right person.

“Oh, yeah! We’re playing Mario Kart, and he’s staying over. I thought he’d told you?” he said.

“Eh, no, he didn’t,” you replied, rubbing your eyes. “It’s fine. You guys have fun.”

“Thanks! You should come next time too, if you’re not too busy. Corpse told me how much work keeps you up.”

“He did?” you ask, sounding as monotone as could be.

“Yeah, but I think it’s just because he doesn’t want you to meet us yet. We kinda make a crazy first impression on everyone, and I’m pretty sure he wants us to be on our best behaviour when you come over… He- He does talk about you, a lot.”

“He… what?”

“Rae started teasing him about it, but then he brushed it off saying he’d never cheat on me, which is kind of weird considering we aren’t-“

“What did he say about me?” For a moment you felt guilty cutting him off, but your curiosity and heart got the better of you and Thomas didn’t really seem to mind.

“Oh, you know, how you’ve been taking care of him more than he’s ever taken care of himself. I thought it was kind of sad, but he talked about it pretty fondly. Rae caught a hint of that and started asking very personal questions, like what’s going on between the two of you, and then he stopped. I think he just doesn’t want to throw things out there, you know? I think he- Oh, here he is now! Do you want to me to hand you over?”

“No. Thanks, Thomas.” You’d quickly ended the call, but it seemed to late when you’d still heard him ask with that raspy voice of his, “Who are you talking to?”.

So, you ended up eating your dinner alone. He didn’t come home until after midnight, when you were still sitting at the same table, this time with your laptop in front of you doing some last bits of work so you wouldn’t end up falling asleep on the couch again.

You didn’t even turn around when you heard him walk in. He seemed to even hesitate for a moment, judging by his footsteps, before he said ‘hey’. You muttered it back, pretending to be engrossed in your work.

He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, before leaning back against the counter, his face turned to you. “You know, maybe you should just work in bed. I highly doubt falling asleep with your face smashed against the keyboard is very comfortable.”

You suddenly stopped typing, leaned your elbows against the table and linked your fingers together, looking him dead in the eye. “Maybe I want to feel the pain in my back as a punishment knowing I fell asleep like this again.”

“Fair enough,” he sighed.

You let a silence linger just a bit longer, before you continued typing and said, “You could’ve told me where you were.”

He was probably staring at you, but you still pointedly ignored him. “I didn’t know that was in our arrangement.”

“Well, I didn’t know our arrangement was that unpersonal to you. Seems like all I am is someone who just gets your groceries for you.” It was a low blow. But you just needed to make him feel the stabbing, the way he stabbed you.

“Jesus, I told you not to take that personally. That’s not what I meant at all,” he said.

“I didn’t take it personally until you thought that conversation was enough to start ignoring me,” you lied.

“I think you know just as well as I do why I’m keeping my distance.”

You met his eyes. Nothing you could see in there, besides the frustration, gave you any answers. You couldn’t help it, you were glaring back at him just as hard even though all you could feel right now was confusion. He shook his head and sighed.

“Maybe it’s time this agreement ends.”

The thought had crossed both your minds, but he was the one who had said it out loud. And probably stung harder for you than it would have for him if you’d cut the cord. He left you sitting there, with tears now blurring your vision, slamming the door behind him for good measure.

***

He wasn’t home again. It gave you the perfect opportunity to quickly pack the rest of your shit up and leave, quietly. A cowardly move, perhaps, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to face him for this. You still hadn’t found a new place yet, since everything in Cali was way too fucking expensive and most ads looking for a roommate even sketchier than the one from Corpse you’d replied to. One of your friends had come to your aid, however, so you had at least a temporary place to say without having to suffer in this tension any longer.

You were just shoving the last of your books in a cardboard box when your phone rang. It was Thomas.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh… well, I was wondering if you could tell us that…” Sykkuno hesitantly asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh- give me the phone-“ “Hey!” there was an evident struggle, before Rae was suddenly talking to you, clearly having ripped the device from Thomas’ hands.

“Corpse is acting all weird! We know something happened between the two of you, but he doesn’t wanna talk about it! It’s like he’s gone back to his brooding old self and I’m worried! So you better start talking!”

“Unless it wasn’t your fault-“ you heard Thomas call out. He was quickly shushed by Rae.

“There’s nothing to say. He made it very clear that our living arrangement was just that; an arrangement, and he stopped talking to me. I confronted him about it, he started saying vague shit and asked me to move out.”

“Wait, what did he say?! I need specifics!” “Rae talks Corpse language, apparently,” you heard Toast mumble in the background.

“He said ‘I think you know just as well as I do why I’m keeping my distance’,” you imitated, your voice not nearly going as low as his.

“Wait, what?”

“I think he just figured out I have feelings for him. I understand how he wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“Oh my god, you’re both such idio-!“

The call ended before you could hear the rest of Rae’s frustration. You shrugged it off, understanding why she would be mad at you by upsetting Corpse. He was her friend first and foremost, after all.

You stuffed your clothes in garbage bags, tied them up and pushed all of it into the living room. You’d dusted, vacuumed, and taken the bedsheets off. While balling all of the laundry up in your arms, you heard the door open. You immediately froze.

Footsteps were coming closer. Maybe if you didn’t move he would think you weren’t here. You didn’t want to do this. You didn’t want to see that he didn’t care. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your hands were wringing the fabric of the bedsheets. God, you should’ve packed quicker. You shouldn’t have been so organized, you should’ve just shoved everything in a few boxes altogether and made a break for it. You should’ve.

He was at your door opening. The footsteps had stopped. You still had your back turned to him.

Just keep walking. Please, just keep walking, you pleaded, closing your eyes. Waiting for the final blow.

However, it didn’t seem to land. Not anywhere near you, at least.

You simply heard his breathing, which seemed more erratic than usual, but perhaps you were just imagining things. Please, just keep walking. Please, I can’t-

“Please don’t go,” he rasped.

Your brows furrowed. If anything, your eyes squeezed shut even tighter. He had to be joking with you.

But then he said your name, pleadingly. He stepped behind you, and you could feel his warm breath against your neck. “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to go.”

“I think you do,” you tried to convince him, as well as yourself.

His hands found his way around your waist and across your stomach until his chest was flush against your back. “No, I don’t.”

Your hands felt numb, so numb you barely noticed them dropping the bedsheets. He turned you around slowly, and you opened your eyes.

“I… heard what you said to Rae.”

“Oh.”

You watched as he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You didn’t stop him- of course you didn’t want him to. His lips pressed against yours gently, in a question, which you responded to. It was still laced with a certain hesitance, but not one strong enough to make either of you want to pull back. It was tingly, warm, and comfortable as the stress of the past few days came washing over you.

He smiled shyly as he pulled back. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew about how I felt.”

“I’m sorry too. I think we need to set up some things in our agreement about communication.”

“Please, no more fucking agreements. I think Rae would definitely kill us.” You both laughed.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

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[sup-hoes-its-me]

Adore You (Yamato x Reader)

A/N: hi guys. Yamato is your secret admirer and you are desperate to find out who's been leaving all these gifts at your doorstep. Civilian reader. Will be two parts, and since i just found out i have the coronavirus and cant leave the house, i’ll be putting out the second part very soon.

Ps i headcanon that yamato would be very shy and awkward with his crush. i also think that when he is nervous he definitely has really sweaty hands. idk thats just the vibe i get from him lol. please enjoy.

Word count: 4500

Y/N walked down the street after a long day of working in the bakery, kneading dough and icing cakes and sweets. It was a great job, and she really enjoyed the company of the two elderly owners. In her arms was another small picnic basket filled with sourdoughs and garlic loaves and cinnamon raisin buns. Those leftovers served as her breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days and it saved a lot of money on groceries.

Sometimes, she gifted the bread to friends and family though, like tonight.

As she walked the bustling streets, people walking home from work for the night, she noticed a couple of familiar faces sitting in the windows of a nearby restaurant. Feeling a little social, she walked into the restaurant and turned the corner, walking through the tables and past other booths full of people talking and drinking. It was busy tonight in Konoha, everyone getting ready for the weekend.

She came to a stop beside their table, and shifted so her basket rested in the slight curve of her hip. With her free hand she waved to the men, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Kakashi, Yamato,” she chirped, “I saw you guys in the window on my way home from work and thought I’d stop in to say hello.”

“Y/N. What a pleasant surprise.” Kakashi hummed, peering over his glass of golden liquid at his friend, who he could tell was struggling to figure out what to say or do. Yamato wasn’t normally nervous; he was very cool headed. How else would he become such an important Anbu member? But around Y/N, this woman with flour dusted in her hair and the smell of cinnamon and chocolate on her clothes, he crumbled. Just that smell alone could make Yamato lose his composure. And Kakashi knew that very well. “As a matter of fact, we were just talking about you.”

Yamato coughed on his drink, covering his mouth with his arm to keep from spitting up on the table. Even if they were just talking about her, it was completely uncalled for for Kakashi to stab him in the back like that. He turned to face the young woman who looked down at him with curiosity in her eyes.

“Really? What about?” she questioned, raising a brow.

He averted his eyes to the table again where his hand rested clutching at the glass. “We were just discussing the bakery,” he explained sheepishly, a hand going to rub the back of his neck. He felt the stress coming on, and sweat was beginning to gather on his palms. He felt ill, and more importantly, upset with the friend sitting directly across from him, smirking under that damn mask.

What an evil bastard.

“Mind if I join you guys? I could definitely use a drink.” She motioned to the seat next to Yamato, and he scooted closer to the wall to make room for her. She made sure her basket was sealed and secure before reaching over the table to Kakashi. “Can you sit this next to you? I don’t wanna take up the whole table.”

“No problem.”

She slid into the seat beside Yamato, and he realized just how small their table really was. The chair was clearly made for one person, or maybe two small people. They were just inches away. He could literally feel the heat of her thigh beside his. He was losing his mind, he was sure of it. There was absolutely no reason to act or think this way just because of a woman, a little baker from the village. No reason. It was inappropriate.

He took a deep breath and sipped on his drink. Everything was cool. Y/N L/N was cool.

“What kind of goods are you bringing home tonight?” Yamato asked calmly.

“Uh, lets see. A sourdough loaf and a garlic rosemary loaf. Also, I have about eight cinnamon buns in there,” she listed off the top of her head, “Why? You wanna take some home with you, because that’s fine. I’m not gonna eat all of it.”

“No, not this time.”

“You, Kakashi?”

“Yeah, I’ll take whatever.” It was a free meal for the next day? How could he say no to that?

The waitress came around, and Y/N ordered a tall glass of some sweet drink, something she knew wouldn’t taste like shit but would get her all warm and cozy quick, fruit juice covering up the taste of poison. “So, what were you guys talking about before I came around? I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“It’s good you came around, actually. We could use a woman’s opinion here.” Yamato glared at Kakashi, pleading with everything he had for the copy nin to just leave it alone. Kakashi was set in his goals though, and pushed forward with what he was saying. “It’s about Tenzo.”

An even brighter smile grew on her lips, one full of mischief and curiosity. “Oohoho? I see. What’s got you men stuck?” She loved to gossip, it was just something so interesting in her mundane life. Surely, it wasn’t as interesting to shinobi who almost die all the time and always have something to do, but for a village girl who goes home every night to read and eat bread, and then go to work where she just makes and sells said bread, a bit of juicy personal information really intrigued her.

“It’s honestly not a big deal-”

“Our boy here, he’s got a crush.”

Her eyes widened and suddenly, she felt the urge to down even more of her drink. He was interested in someone? She never expected that. He was always so quiet and calm, and kept to himself. He didn’t seem like the type to ever care about someone in that way. She sighed, taking a long sip on her drink, which tasted like peaches and oranges. At least it was sweet enough to help her curb the impending sadness.

Maybe she was stupid for it, but she cared for Yamato. He was such a sweet and kind man, so earnest and gentle. He was everything good about her mornings, when he would walk in and ask for the same hot cross bun to start his day. He would smile and compliment the cake decorating she was working on, and tell her about his missions and what he had to do for the day.

Perhaps Y/N had the tiniest of crushes on Yamato. It was something she would never reveal to anyone else, but it was true. She couldn’t deny herself that fact.

Kakashi stared at the woman, gauging her reaction to the statement. From the way she immediately went to sip away half of the drink in her glass, and the way her shoulders curled in on themselves, he could guess how she was feeling. He wasn’t usually a fan of meddling in other people’s business, but he was beginning to feel tired of Yamato complaining day in and day out about how he could never get the girl or express his feelings. He was afraid of rejection, as sad as that might be.

He was just there to give them a push in the right direction.

“I see.”

“What do you think he should do? What do the civilian girls like?”

This crush was just another civilian. It would be one thing if he fell in love with a kunoichi, someone she would never be able to compete with, but the thought of him choosing another normal woman over her, the envy practically oozed from her pores. What did this other girl have that Y/N didn’t?

Y/N ordered another drink when the waitress walked by. And then another after she drank the second one. Might as well get more down and drown out these jealous thoughts.

Meanwhile, she listed off things that random women normally like when men do for them, things she didn't really care about like chocolates and asking them out to dinner and giving them stuffed animals. Boring things. Things they all already knew. Kakashi agreed that the advice was kinda bland, and he could have come up with that easily.

Yamato eyed her down nervously as she practically chugged the rest of her drink. The woman wasn’t a big drinker, just a couple innocent cocktails here or there, never with the intention of getting drunk.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she told him smoothly. “Anyway, I’m not done telling you all about us village girls.”

The third drink came by and she sighed, taking another long sip. At least it tasted good, that made it easy to drink and drink and drink.

“Maybe you should slow down.”

“Maybe you should worry about yourself. I’m grown. I can handle myself, Yamato.” He felt a pang in his chest at her sharp words, ones that he’d never really heard directed toward him. She scolded Kakashi on the daily for being a pervert, but only kind words met Yamato’s ears previously. “Anyway, about this girl. Have you tried getting her anything as a gift? The things I listed before? Love notes? That sorta thing?”

He shook his head. “Well, no. I haven’t tried anything yet.”

“That’s the thing about you, Tenzo. You’re so modest. If you want the girl, you need to go in and get her. You need to show her what she means to you, since you can’t bring yourself to just outright tell her.”

“The whole bold displays of affection aren’t my thing.”

She hummed, her head lolling from side to side as she twirled the straw of her drink in between her fingers. “Maybe you should try some roundabout approach since you’re so scared of rejection. Send her anonymous letters and gifts, give her little clues that it’s you and see how she reacts.”

“Like a secret admirer?"

“Exactly! That’s sooo romantic. I wish some guy would do that shit for me.”

Kakashi raised a brow. “Oh, really?”

“Of course. I’m almost 27 and I’ve never had a long lasting relationship. I just want some guy to really, I don’t know, just love me. Love who I am, not hook up with me for my body or-or only pretend to like me for coupons on bread,” she complained, quite loudly as well. “Fuck those guys and their bread discounts...”

“Y/N-”

“I’d suggest you do something like that for your crush. Make her feel like you really care about her mind and soul.” Y/N clutched her hand over her heart and squeezed the front of her dress. “So many men nowadays act like horny teenagers, and us ladies are sick of it.”

She really did not need to go into such detail, and Yamato could tell she was drinking too much. Y/N would never say these things aloud if she were completely in her right mind. He felt rude just sitting there letting her rant on and on, exposing her own feelings to the table. But at the same time, he was grateful to know what she wanted in a lover. She never really let on what her romantic life was like, other than single for the most part.

That is what he and Kakashi were discussing before she came around. He was desperate to sweep her off her feet and woo her, to make revealing his feelings easier. Kakashi told him to just go to the bakery and tell her right then and there, but that was just too bold. He wasn’t going to go in without a plan, it was irrational.

“Yamato, I’m telling you, if this woman rejects you, she’s fucking stupid. You’re a catch. You and Kashi over there, both of you could get any woman you want, and that’s a fact.” the woman waved her hand to emphasize her point, only to knock the rest of her fourth drink over into her lap, sticky syrup soaking into her apron and through to her skirt. “Oh man.”

“I think it’s time for you to head home, little miss Y/N,” Kakashi chimed in, “This is exactly why we don’t bring you to bars, you know.”

“Shush. I am fine.”

Yamato sighed, motioning with his hands for her to move to the edge of the seat. He rolled his eyes at her words, knowing she was talking out the ass. “Yeah, yeah. Just get up, Y/N. I’m taking you home.”

Both men were surprised when she lifted her hand and pushed him away from her. Her glare was intense, anger behind those eyes. “No! Not you. I want Kakashi to walk me home.” The man was taken aback by the harshness in her tone. She was normally calm tempered, but her head was spinning and she was obviously growing moody.

“That’s fine by me. Yamato, you’ll pick up the bill for us and uh, clean this mess, right?” Kakashi smirked as he slid out from the booth and picked up her bag of baked goods. She followed suit, climbing out of her seat and grabbing onto the shinobi’s arm tightly. He really couldn’t care any less about her nonsense. It had been so long since they became friends, he’d seen her in every mood imaginable, and much drunker than this. He’s walked her home more than a few times in their past years.

“Curse you, cheap-ass.”

“Gotta go.”

With that, the white haired man walked out the restaurant with a woman in tow. They lived in the same direction, so he started down the street as she stumbled after him, tripping occasionally on pebbles. He felt bad for his friend, really. But the answer was clear as day now. Y/N cared for Yamato a lot more than she let on. It was just up to one of them to make a move. He couldn't do everything for them.

She tripped along beside him, letting her head fall against his shoulder a few times. Her eyes slid up to the man’s masked face, and he felt her hands begin to quiver a bit around his arm, just a tiny bit, but it was still there. Those little, very-telling, tremors.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked gently, knowing she would immediately spill whatever was stuck on her mind.

“Kashi, why does Tenzo want some other village girl?” she questioned, her cheeks puffing out and her eyes getting watery with tears. “Why doesn’t he want me? I want him so badly, it hurts right here.” she placed her free hand over her stomach and gagged. “I might throw up, it hurts so much.”

“Trust me, it’s gonna be okay,” he hushed, a tiny smile on his lips. He didn’t want to reveal too much to her, but it was just so amusing pulling the strings like this. Two of his friends, one a subordinate and the other a sneaky baker, falling for each other right in front of him. With all the work piling up, this was definitely a refreshing take.

“Also, you shouldn't throw up. It'll burn your throat, you know.”

She nodded, and just clutched onto her stomach as they made their way down the narrow alleyways toward her small apartment. He unlocked the door for her when she struggled to fit the key into the tiny hole that blurred together with everything else. He was a good friend, she thought, and made a mental note to thank him next time she saw him. Well, she tried to make a mental note, but when her body hit the mattress in the corner of her small studio, she found herself drifting away.

__________

God, her head hurt so badly she thought her skull was cracking open right then and there, as she lifted her head from her pillow. Light shined in through the window only to make things worse than before. She looked around the room and noticed that her coat was hung up properly on the hook and her shoes were sitting by the door. Her basket rested atop her counter.

Most importantly, on her nightstand sat a glass of water and a couple pills, ready for her to take the moment she woke up. Kakashi or Yamato must have walked her home and put her to bed. They were very nice men, she enjoyed having them as friends, she just worried she had made a drunken fool of herself last night in front of them. She rarely drank heavily, for that reason. She couldn’t even remember what happened, just that she met them at the restaurant and then the rest fell empty in her mind, little images blending together until she couldn’t decipher a thing that happened. She was more than ashamed.

How could she lose control of herself so casually, she wondered. She never even wanted to drink, much less enough to give her this searing headache. Something must have happened last night that influenced her decisions. Maybe she had a drinking contest with Kakashi like that one time before. If so, that was completely uncalled for on the man’s part. He knew her tolerance.

Nevertheless, she needed to get ready for work. A hangover wasn’t enough to heed the workings of the bakery.

She took the pills, and threw off her covers, walking over to her counter to take out one of the cinnamon rolls, taking a big bite to curb her hunger pains. After taking a moment to compose herself, she got ready for work. If she was late, she knew the owners would be forgiving, but she still felt bad regardless. She was going to walk in looking like a complete disaster.

As she headed out her door that morning, she stumbled on something sitting right at the foot of her doorstep on the welcome mat. Resting there, in a tiny little ceramic pot, stood a bonsai tree, trimmed and cared for perfectly. Her eyes scanned the area for who could have set it there, but met only empty space.

Hesitantly, she picked it up and brought it into her home. There was no note attached, nothing to signal who’d given it to her. Just a little tree that she would put on her window sill. It was strange, she had to admit that, to receive an anonymous gift at such an hour. She’d have to ask her friends about it later on to see if one of them had given it to her, for reasons she didn’t know.

But as the days went by, and those days turned into weeks, she continued to receive gifts every few days. More tiny trees in pots, sometimes flowers in little glass vases. None of them at first had anything attached until the most recent piece which when she picked it up to take into her home, a folded piece of paper sat beneath the vase. She made sure to pick it and put it in her apron to read on her break when she went to work. She didn’t have the time when she woke up only about 20 minutes before she was due at her job.

She was more than grateful for the little garden she was accumulating on her window sill, the beautiful flowers and trees somehow surviving despite her little knowledge of taking care of them. She stopped by a flower store in town to get some fertilizer just to keep them alive. It would be a shame if they died since someone was being so kind as to give them to her.

With her boring life, the flowers brought a smile to her face and a warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt before. Regardless of who was leaving the items there, she felt like she was important to someone. Some person was taking time out of their day to show they cared about her.

Truthfully, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wished it was Yamato leaving her gifts. She’d been attracted to the man for quite some time, ever since they met really. He was just so strong and brave, and awkward in a cute kind of way. He was truly the only man of her affections, and she could only dream she was the object of his as well.

It was more than unlikely though. He was a strong ninja of the leaf. The chances of someone that amazing wanting to be with someone as simple as the town baker were lower than she wanted to admit. He most likely had his eyes set on some gorgeous kunoichi like Shizune or Kurenai. Someone he could relate to, really.

It was embarrassing to even admit she had a crush on him. It made her feel so tiny and weak, knowing that she wasn’t his ideal.

So she pushed that thought from her mind. Yamato would never be interested in her, and he most certainly not the one leaving her little notes and plants.

What she did know was that this person was a shinobi. Maybe not Yamato, but they were definitely a shinobi. She set up a trap, at least one she thought a normal person would fall for. Right before her door, she set up a tiny trip wire made of floss at the perfect level for someone to pull loose when they walked up to leave a gift on her welcome mat. Her room was at the very end of the hallway, so there was no way anyone else except her secret admirer was the one to set off the trap. Any normal person without the high perception of a shinobi would set off the trap and she would be able to narrow down the results to a civilian.

Only, the morning after she set up the trip wire, when she opened her door, there sat another bouquet of flowers, as well as an untripped strip of floss.

This person had to be a shinobi. She concluded. It was the only explanation in her mind, desperate to find out who the mystery person was all this time.

As she walked the streets that afternoon after the store had closed, her eyes honed in on Yamato, who stood next to a vegetable stand picking up some groceries. Immediately, she turned on her heel and cornered him between the squash and the sweet potatoes.

“Yamato, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent. Do you mind?” she practically demanded, and his eyes widened. He did not expect such an abrupt conversation between them. He shifted awkwardly to rest his grocery bag in the crook of his elbow and lean on his left side, arms crossed over his chest.

He knew what she wanted to talk about. It was about those gifts that he had been giving her. It was just a matter of whether she had figured out it was him or not, that was the question. He was kinda hoping she didn’t know yet. He was not ready to face what came after the reveal, rejection or otherwise. He really hadn’t thought it that far out yet. How could he. Just thinking up love notes and what plants to give her next was more than enough to worry about.

But damn, when he looked down at her, hair dusted with flour from a days work, a smudge of cake batter still on her forearm, apron a complete mess, he wanted to cave and tell her everything. She was just so beautiful, so clumsily perfect he couldn’t help but lose his train of thought. He swore he’d never seen a woman more perfect than her, not even Naruto’s sexy jutsu could come close to this girl.

He found his ears heating up and no doubt turning red at the thoughts running through his mind, and he was quick to smother them down. He was not irrationally emotional. Hell, he was ANBU, he should be able to control his emotions down to a tee.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I have a secret admirer, and I know they are a shinobi.”

He felt himself growing nervous. How had she deduced that? “Ah, that’s definitely exciting for you. How do you know it’s a shinobi?”

“I know because I set up a tripwire last night and the person didn’t set it off, so I know they are coordinated enough to avoid it. This isn’t just some random village boy. This is someone skilled.”

“Y/N, he could have very well just avoided the trap with his natural gait, don’t you think?” he tried to reason with her, try to get her off his trail. Admittedly, he thought she was quite clever for setting up the trap. When he walked over it the night before, he swore it was just a spider web. He didn’t even consider the possibility of a trap in his way.

If only he could throw her off his scent. He needed more time. He couldn’t confess to her now. It was too abrupt, too sudden. He would probably die.

“No, I’m convinced it’s a shinobi.”

Shit. “Well, what are you going to do now?”

She thought for a short moment on what she was going to say, tapping her foot on the ground beside her. Her eyes widened and she smiled at the thought that ran through her mind. Of course, it was so obvious. “The gifts come sporadically, so I know that the shinobi can’t leave gifts when they are on missions. Next time there is a long break in gifts, I will just ask around to figure out who has been on a mission for a while. Bam, I’ve got my answer. It’s foolproof.”

She really had thought this through more than him. She was too good, and he felt himself panicking. He had a weeklong mission in 3 days, and if she asked anyone, they would tell her it was him. He felt moisture gather up at his brow, and he internally cursed his situation. He had to find some way out of this mess without her figuring out it was him.

“Yeah, that could definitely work. I hope it all works out for you, Y/N,” he lied through his teeth.

“I know. I’m just smart like that, aren’t I?”

“You sure are,” he muttered, but honestly, he just wanted to go off and find Kakashi. He needed to talk to him. His eyes slid away from Y/N and he sighed. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Don’t forget to stop by before your next mission to get some of our special food pills, okay? I just made a new batch and you can try them free of charge. Anything for a fella as handsome as yourself.” She laughed, shifting her weight to press a hand to her hip.

Jeez. There was no good reason for her looking so adorable. Calling him handsome as well? It was all too much for his heart to handle. Needless to say, he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t walk away right then. With that, he simply nodded before patting her shoulder. “Like I said, gotta go.”

“Oh, okay. See you around.”

“See you.”

He walked away quickly, heading in the direction of Kakashi’s apartment, knowing he just had to do something about the mess he was currently in, and ways to avoid the inevitable. His heart was racing so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack. How could he be swayed so easily by a pretty face. He had no idea, but he really wanted it to stop. For the sake of his sanity, he needed to learn to be calm around her.

He would tell her soon, get all this off his chest and share his true feelings. He just needed a bit more time.

[im-whatchamccallit]

Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request:  Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

[marvxlousqueen]

So Fucking Sore- Bucky x Loki x Reader

i have returned from the dead to deliver this smut for my friend’s birthday LMAOO anyways for this let’s just pretend tony killed thanos in endgame and brought back nat and gamora and nobody died haha yes anyways bucky is a simp in this tbh (and i’ve never written for loki so forgive me if it’s bad LMAOO)

anyways happy bday bestie (don’t wanna expose ur name on here lol) love u <3

word count: 3.5k

The Avengers compound was more full than it had ever been. Finally, every floor was filled, every guest room taken, some sleeping bags even rolled onto the floor. Tony hadn’t planned to host the entirety of the avengers force, some odd one thousand people. After defeating Thanos and fixing the time lines, Tony felt as though they deserved a break and a celebration. Although most people were still recovering and wouldn’t stay for long at the party, he figured laughter is the best medicine- that, and he always loved an occasion to show off his hosting skills. 

Tony’s invitation even extended to the staff at the compound, which is how (Y/n) found herself holding a rsvp letter, trying to decide which box to check off. 

“Yes [   ]  (+1)   No [    ]”

She fumbled with the letter, pen getting heavy in her hand. She was seated in her office, taking her lunch break in between helping some of the injured Wakandan soldiers. Being an on-site nurse, of course she had had encounters with the team, but nothing like this party would be. 

Would it be embarrassing if I didn’t have a plus one, she thought

She was interrupted by a knock at her door. “Come in,” she said without looking up. 

The door slowly opened and Bucky entered, small smile on his face. 

“Hey.. just figured I’d bring you some snacks. Figure you must be real busy in the infirmary.”

He set a plate of strawberries on the table with a bottle of water, metal arm extending towards her. (Y/n) could briefly see her reflection in the shine of the vibranium. She lost herself for a moment, examining his arm.

“(Y/n)?” 

“What- oh yeah! Super busy. Thanks, Buck,” she gave him a smile, cheeks burning.

They had always had some sort of chemistry, but she just couldn’t quite get a read on it enough to make a move. Ever since reconnecting with Steve, Bucky had gotten back into his old ways. Still a giant flirt, just maybe a little more shy than in the 40s. He loved to toss some pick up lines around whenever he wound up in the infirmary (which was a little too often), so (Y/n) couldn’t figure out if he really liked her or was flirty with everyone. 

“What’s that you got there?” He motioned to the rsvp letter on her desk, still unanswered.

“Oh, invitation to Tony’s party thing this weekend. Think he’s trying to get a head count for seats and food. Don’t think I’m going to go, though.”

Bucky pulled up a chair to her desk, “Why wouldn’t you go? You should be celebrating too, I mean- half of us wouldn’t be in this good of a condition without your healing hands.”

His lips pulled into a smirk as he saw her smile shyly. He loved how we could always make her melt at the slightest compliement.

“I think it might be a little embarrassing to show up without a plus one.. I don’t know, it’s probably stupid, but it seems like everyone has someone, you know?”

(Y/n) shrugged, not sure how else to explain her thoughts.

Bucky nodded, running a hand through his hair, “So- what, you’re waiting for someone to ask you?” 

“I- No, but it would be nice, I guess.”

Bucky felt his face heat up. Here’s my chance, he thought. A chance to get some real action because I’ve been out of it for too fucking long. 

(Y/n) looked up at him, waiting for a response. When nothing came, she pushed through her nerves. “You don’t have a date, do you?”

His eyes snapped up to hers, wide with worry. “I-uh-no. D-don’t need one. Just a party, you know? Kinda stupid to get a date for a party like this.”

“Oh- yeah, totally,” (Y/n) stumbled over her words, facing burning with embarrassment. Did he call me stupid? Well, I guess that answers my questions- he is definitely NOT into me. 

 Bucky almost slapped himself after seeing the way (Y/n)’s face dropped. THAT CAME OUT WRONG THAT CAME OUT WRONG THAT CAME OUT WRONG!! He meant to come off as relaxed and nonchalant like he used to be, but instead he sounded like a dick. 

Before he could get an apology out, another knock was heard from her office door. “C-come in!”

Steve opened the door, “Hey- oh hey buck,” Bucky awkwardly waved at him, still busy screaming at himself, “anyways, (Y/n)- Thor’s got friends on the way and apparently they got a little scuffed up on the way from Norway, so you think you can head in and check on em?” 

“Yes! Totally! Uh- bye Bucky, I-I’ll see you.” She jumped out of her seat and rushed off down the hall, happy to get away from this tension with Bucky.

Steve watched her speed off down the hall before turning back to his old friend. “So.. how’s that going?”

Bucky sighed, “It’s not going at all. I think I accidently called her dumb? I don’t know- I kinda blacked out for a minute there.”

Steve patted him on the shoulder, “You’ll be fine. You got plenty of time to fix anything and make your move when you’re ready, all right?”

He understood how his friend was having some difficulties. While he was far more stable then he used to be, Bucky still had his moments and was working through them. Steve couldn’t be prouder. 

“I guess you’re right. As long as no other guy tries to scoop her up.”

--

(Y/n) entered the infirmary, breathing hard from the speed walk she took to escape that awkwardness. Laying on two of the beds was a tall man with long black hair and some sort of creature with knives attached to it’s hands. 

“(Y/n)! My friends require your services!” Thor shouts, embracing her in a hug.

She laughs as he squeezes her tightly, “Of course! Now let me go so I can help-”

The man who was reclining on the first bed sat up, eyebrows raised. “You’re a healer?”

She looked towards him, noting his accent was similar to Thor’s, “Well- no. Not a healer, just a nurse, but I’ll do my best. With all this new tech it’ll be real easy to batch you up. What happened?”

Thor spoke up, “My dear friend here,” he motioned toward the creature with the blades for hands, “Miek- got into a argument with my dear brother and knives were thrown. Just minor stab wounds of course, but it would be nice for them to be healed before Stark’s feast.”

“Your brother?” She looked towards the man with black hair, who offered a smile. “You’re Loki?” 

“The trickster god indeed.”

Her face heated up, partially in fear and partially in awe. Before her was the man who constantly tried to rule Earth. “Are you-,” she turned to Thor, “is he allowed to be here?”

“Of course! He aided me in our fight against Thanos. He stands as an avenger now.” 

Loki rolled his eyes and began to spin a small knife he pulled from his boot.  (Y/n) nodded, still registering everything, “Well, uh , okay then. Where’s the stab wound?” 

Loki moved to lift his shirt. On his left side was a gash still dripping blood. (Y/n) took a deep breathe, forcing herself to focus on his wound and not the outline of his abs and the way sweat was dripping down.

“Oh- jesus christ, okay. Let me get some stuff.”

The creature on the other bed made a noise and (Y/n) realized he was injured too, a small blade sticking out of his leg. 

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” She ran to the other side to grab materials and begin patching them up. The process went like a blur. All she could feel was the way Loki’s body felt warm against hers, not like the cold she was expecting from his being a dark elf. His hand brushed against hers as he admired her handy work, eyes moving from her face to her form. Finally she was done and seated back in her office, yelling at herself for being so horny today for no goddamn reason. 

As she took a seat once again, she noticed the still blank rsvp card.

God-fucking-damn it

She still had a decision to make. As she went to check the “No [   ]” box, her door opened. Loki walked in and quickly made himself comfortable, sitting across from her. 

“I wish to thank you for the help.”

(Y/n) nodded, eyes wide, “Of course, yeah, anyth-”

“I also wish to invite you to Stark’s feast.”

She froze, mouth slightly open. I don’t even know this dude! And he’s killed a shit ton of people..

“Uh, well,” oh fuck it, “I would love that. Thanks.”

He smiled, “I’ll see you then, (Y/n).”

He left and closed the door behind him. She rushed to fill out the card and went to find Tony. Knowing him, he’d probably be down in his lab playing robots with Morgan. (Y/n) hopped in the elevator and headed towards the basement above the parking garage. It stopped around 3 floors down and the sign flashed “gym.” The doors opened and Bucky entered, sweaty from trying to workout and get rid of all these new feelings he’s having. He didn’t look up from his phone until the doors closed behind him. 

His eyes landed on hers, “O-oh hey! Hi.”

(Y/n) gave him a wave and looked down at her letter, rolling it up in her hands.

“You going to the party?”

“Yep.”

“That’s good! Really good! Because you really don’t need a date for stuff like this, we’re all friends, right?” Bucky was desperately trying to make up for what he had said earlier. 

“I have a date actually.”

His eyes widened, “What? Who?”

She turned and shrugged, “Just some guy I met, don’t think you would know him.”

A light went off in his head- she’s trying to make me jealous, isn’t she! She doesn’t have a date! She just wants me to make my move!

Bucky laughed and gave her a smirk, “You don’t have to lie to impress me, doll.”

She whipped around, “Excuse me? You don’t think I can get a date?”

His cheeks turned bright red, “W-what? No, you’re just trying to make me jealous.. right?”

Her jaw dropped, “You are so full of it.” 

The elevator dinged and (Y/n) exited into the basement, leaving Bucky’s head full of questions.

Did I just fuck up again, he thought. 

The next few days past fairly quickly. (Y/n) spent her time in the medical bay once again, dealing with minor injuries and organizing the first aid kits. The few highlights she did have was a quick lunch with Loki, which seemed very abnormal for him. He showed up in her office with, as he called it, “Midgardian Trash,” which was just a plate of different snack foods that Clint had recommended. They ate in a comfortable silence, sharing a few thoughts here and there, until he took his que to leave. (Y/n) walked him to the door and was surprised when he pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her face heat up.

“See you tomorrow, dear (Y/n).”

She stumbled out a response, making him laugh at her speechlessness. After work she rushed to prepare herself for Saturday night.

--

It was probably the biggest party upstate New York had ever seen. Completely catered, a professional band, everyone dressed up in their finest clothing. (Y/n) would’ve felt completely out of place if it wasn’t for Loki’s arm wrapped around her waist as they entered. He was dressed in a black suit with a dark green tie, constantly repping his main color. Time flew as they spun on the dance floor and drank a little too much, although alcohol didn’t seem to have much effect on him. Loki excused himself to the restroom as (Y/n) downed a glass of water to sober up. She felt someone sit next to her at the bar.

“Look, I’m not interested-”

“Are you crazy? Like- do you genuinely have a death wish?”

She looked beside her and was face to face with Bucky. It felt weird to see him so dressed up. She was used to the sweats and t-shirts, but she had to admit that he cleaned up nice. 

“What are you talking about?”

He glared at her, “Loki? Your date is LOKI. Steve filled me in, I know everything. He’s killed people, (Y/n)! A lot of them!”

“So have you.”

“I-” His voice faltered. “That’s different, you know it is. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

“Well don’t be. He’s actually a pretty good guy. And here he comes now.”

Loki appeared, tapping Bucky on the shoulder, “can I help you?”

“We were just talking.”

He laughed, “seems you would rather do much more than that.”

(Y/n)’s brows furrowed, ‘What does that mean?”

Bucky’s face turned red, “nothing! I guess I’ll leave you two alone now.” 

“Nonsense,” Loki pushed him back into the chair. “Tell the woman what you think of her. Perhaps it could work out for you, or for us both.”

“What!?”

(Y/n) was confused again, “What the fuck are you guys talking about?”

Loki looked her up and down, “don’t be a fool. He fancies you, as do I. I propose an agreement-”

“wait what,” she looked at Bucky, “you like me? Like- more than a friend?”

He looked down at the table, confused and frustrated about his feelings and about how this alien douchebag was making fun of him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke up.

“Listen asshole-”

Loki rolled his eyes, “do you wish to mount the lady or no?”

(Y/n) choked on her water, “what the fuck-”

Bucky’s eyes felt like they would fall out of his head, but he responded instinctively, “yes, god yes.”

Butterflies went off in (Y/n)’s stomach, eyes locked onto Bucky’s face.

“Great. So do I. So we shall share her then? Tonight? What do you think?” 

Loki turned to (Y/n), who was in shock.

“I-what?”

“Tonight, the two of us, yes? In your chambers, perhaps.”

“I-uh, okay.”

Bucky licked his lips, “Okay?”

“Yes, I mean-fuck, why not. You are both.. wow.”

Loki laughed, “Great, but truly shocking how blind you mortals are to each other.” 

The three of them sat in a weird tension at the bar while waiting for Tony to give his toast. After about 10 minutes of emotional rambling, Tony finally raised his glass to the Avengers. (Y/n) downed her drink and looked to the two men sitting beside her. Locking eyes, they shared a common thought and all excused themselves one by one. They found their way into (Y/n)’s bedroom, where she made herself at home by throwing off the heels she had been wearing all night. 

“So-uh-”

Bucky cut off her rambling with a hot, open mouthed kiss pressed to her lips. His hands trailed down her sides and grabbed her ass. He pulled away, breathing hard. “You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that.” 

He suddenly felt far more confident and began to strip off his suit, starting with the tie that had been choking him all night. Loki threw off his coat and pushed (Y/n) onto her bed. 

“I want you to kneel.” 

She stood up on her knees, face flushed, waiting for his next move. He slowly undid his pants and pulled out his cock. 

Well, yeah, he’s definitely packing

(Y/n) pressed a kiss to the tip before licking her way from the bottom back to the top. She took a deep breath and took him in her mouth as far as she could. Loki began to thrust, gripping her hair and pushing her forward, using her mouth as a fucktoy. (Y/n) opened her eyes to look up at him and noticed Bucky on the side, hand in his pants, eyes zeroed in on her mouth. She motioned for Bucky to strip, making him drop his pants and boxers, leaving him now completely exposed. His hand continued to pump his length, whimpers leaving his mouth. Loki noticed (Y/n)’s eye’s on Bucky and pulled away from her, leaving spit and precum dripping down her mouth.

“Take her.”

Bucky’s face flushed, embarrassed to be doing exactly what some other dude told him to. He walked towards the bed, cock standing proudly. 

“Is this okay?”

(Y/n) nodded yes, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him onto the bed with her. With Bucky underneath her, she lined up with his dick and sunk down onto it.

“Fuck! Jesus-fuck-”

(Y/n) couldn’t think for a moment, too distracted by how much he was stretching her. Bucky’s head was thrown up and his grip on her thighs tightened. He lifted his tips and bucked into her, making her gasp again.

Regaining her composure, (Y/n) began to roll her hips. As she rode him, Bucky sat up and his lips found their way to her neck, leaving marks up and down it. From the side of the bed, she could see Loki completely exposed now, hand running up and down his length as he watched them. He smirked as he caught her eye, making it more of a show. 

His hand moved faster before focusing on his tip. (Y/n)’s thoughts were broken from him as Bucky began to paw at her clit, rubbing it just the right way. Her hands went to his hair, pulling him close.

“God, so fucking-shit-so tight-”

Bucky’s voiced was strained, trying not to finish before her, but (Y/n) was making it difficult with how tight she was clamped around him. 

“Fuck-i’m so close, please!”

Bucky started thrusting up into her, “say my name-fuck”

“Bucky! Please!”

He rammed into her with a quick pace, hands groping her ass. (Y/n) a warmth growing in her, squeezing his dick even more. Finally, she reached her peak and exploded around him, dripping her juices down his dick. Bucky quickly flipped them over, putting one of her legs over his shoulder and started to pound into her. (Y/n) choked on her breath, completely overwhelmed from the overstimulation. Bucky’s thrusts began to stutter until he bucked one last time, going deep into her and exploding. He filled her up and slowly pulled out, seeing his cum dripping out of her.

“Holy shit.”

(Y/n) laughed, trying to catch her breath, “thanks, you too.”

“Quite the show, indeed.”

(Y/n) had almost forgot there was a whole other dude waiting to fuck her. Looking over, Loki’s cock was still standing tall, the tip burning red. 

He stood up and made his way to the bed, “On your hands and knees.”

His command made butterflies form in her stomach. (Y/n) turned over and got on her hands and knees. Loki entered her without warning, making her scream out in surprise. His hand came to her head, pushing her into the mattress. His pace picked up as he slammed into her.

“Jesus-fucking-god!”

Loki laughed through his heavy breathing, literally fucking her into the mattress.

“Let’s get something in that mouth, yes? Barnes-”

Bucky’s eyes moved from watching where Loki was connecting with (Y/n) to her mouth. “Sure-yeah, fuck yes.”

Bucky was thankful for his super soldier qualities because he was already up for round two. He got on the bed, dick facing (Y/n)’s mouth. She got back on her hands and kissed his tip before he pushed in. Bucky let (Y/n) control the pace although most times she was pushed on his dick by Loki’s hard thrusts. (Y/n) lost track of time as she getting literally fucking railed. Loki’s thrusts began to speed up and sweat was dripping down his godly body. 

(Y/n) felt the coil in her stomach tighten again, warmth spreading through out her, she was close, moaning around Bucky’s length. He pulled out of her mouth and began to jerk off, enjoying the show Loki and her were putting on. 

(Y/n) screamed as she reached her climax for the second time that night, eyes rolling to the back of her head, but Loki didn’t slow. He continued until one finally thrust, he pulled out and spilled onto her back, throwing his head back.

The noises (Y/n) was making made Bucky cum into his own hand before collapsing on the bed. 

(Y/n) dropped onto the bed, legs shaking. “Jesus- fuck.”

Bucky put a hand to her cheek, “you okay? We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

She shook her head, “No, just-fuck- I’m gonna be so fucking sore.”

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers

There are a lot of character deaths in TWDG... obviously. It a series about the literal dead walkin’ around and eating people, so as you’re playing, one of your favorite characters is bound to meet such a fate. To give this series credit, it does have quite a few well-executed deaths that, while I hate them, they have a purpose in the story that works. 

The best example of this is Lee’s death-- we all hate that Lee dies, but it’s well-done. It serves its purpose, it acted as both a shock and a slow-burn for the player, and left us all an emotional mess. 

However, we’re not talking about the “good” deaths today. No, we’re talking about the character deaths that are poorly executed, cheap, lazy, and just plain dumb... they’re the deaths that make me side-eye the writing team and wonder what the fuck happened there. 

By the way, it was reeeeeeal fun narrowing it down to only five deaths, because it seems like for every great death, there’s at least two bad ones.

5. Mariana and her death that ruined ANF’s potential story

I’ve talked at length about Mariana’s death and how much I hate it. Like, I get it TWDG... you love your sudden deaths and you’re so edgy for killing off a child character because you’ve never done that before... but maybe consider things a little further before pulling the trigger?

Yeah, killing off Mariana the way they did got a reaction outta people when it happened, and we got the burial scene if you stayed with Clementine... but you didn’t consider the future of this storyline? You pretend you did by name dropping Mari when it’s convenient, but then throw it out the window when it comes to characters like David or Gabe.

Listen, I know that ANF is a mess and what’s the point in telling the mess that it’s a mess? Well, I’m still annoyed at the writers for wasting the biggest opportunity for this game’s story, something that could’ve saved it from being a mess.

And I get it, you gotta make a death quota, so instead of killing Mariana off... why not kill Kate off instead? Oh no? We don’t get the stupid love triangle that no one actually enjoys or is engaged in?

Instead of this dumb story about Javi falling in love with his sister-in-law but oh no David’s back.... we could’ve had a story about Javi losing Kate and being left to care for two children by himself. Mariana and Gabe are all he has left, and he going to do whatever he can to keep them safe all while the three of them are mourning Kate.

Then David comes back, and he immediately takes these kids away from Javi.

There is no stupid storyline with Kate, but an actual conflict between two brothers who were never on the same page and two kids caught in the middle.

Plus, Mariana herself as a character really could’ve brought something to the table. She could’ve brought out a lot in David’s character since she seems to be more like Javi.

Her death is just... annoying. It’s frustrating when you know they could’ve told a better story with her alive, something ANF desperately needed.

My side-eye is one of disappointment and annoyance.

4.Luke and his easily preventable drowning

Ugh.... where to even begin? 

Luke really just gets butchered as a character throughout the second half of S2, and the writers end up demolishing the set up they placed at the beginning of the season for a Luke vs Kenny thing. 

Why? Well, Luke vs Kenny was the initial ending they were gonna go with, but because this season went through all kinds of bullshit, they scrapped that and replaced Luke with Jane... and it’s so dumb.

Hell, it kind of ruins a lot. Not only did it ruin Luke, a character that many players loved, but it forces the new character of Jane, who we only get two episodes to get to know, so they can fade Luke out. 

But that’s not all. 

His death is so... ugh. It’s stupid, okay? Stupid and easily preventable, but noooo... we gotta kill Luke off for reasons because all we know is that S1 killed off a lot of characters and we’re gonna do that again but worse because we failed to understand what made those deaths impactful in the first place. 

Lots of character death and despair = good game. 

Yep, uh-huh. Okay. 

So we all know that Luke’s leg is hurt, yeah? Great, so you’d think that the group that has an injured man and a new born baby would be extra cautious and go around the frozen lake. Yeah, Arvo says that it’s safe but let’s not take any chances. 

But no. We gotta go across like a group of dingdongs and whattya know-- the ice begins to crack beneath Luke’s feet. Now, even here, we coulda got him outta there safely... if Bonnie wasn’t a dingus. 

Think about it. If we shot the walkers who were coming towards Luke with all their weight, he could’ve slowly scooted away, even if he’s already fallen through. BUT NO. Bonnie either guilts Clementine into going towards him, adding more weight to the already fragile ice as Luke tells her to stop, or Bonnie will go over there herself... and she’s a full grown woman soooo her weight breaks the ice. 

Good job, you dipsticks. 

When you have to make your characters into morons in order to move the plot along and kill off characters....maybe do some rethinking, yeah? 

 3. Mitch and his shock-value death

This death is so dumb... so incredibly, dumb. Even now, I can’t help but give full side-eye to the writers every time one of them tries to justify this death. 

I’m sorry, but this death didn’t have the impact you wanted it to have. And because there’s always someone who says, “Mitch didn’t die for shock value, you just can’t tell the difference between a good and bad death” lemme tell you a thing. 

What was the point of killing of Mitch? Well, according to those who worked on TFS, it was to show that Lilly and the delta are serious. This is when shit gets real, and when Lilly is established as a bad bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. We should be scared of her now. 

Except no. 

This scene doesn’t tell me that Lilly is a bad bitch. It tells me that she has good reflexes, and going off her reaction after killing Mitch.... I’m not fucking scared of this dumbass. If anything, this scene says more about Mitch than it does Lilly. It says that Mitch is also a dumbass for running at her like he did. 

Y’know what would’ve been more impactful? If Mitch didn’t immediately get stabbed in the throat, but instead, actually got her on the ground and struggled with Lilly. Then, Lilly gets the upper hand and when you think she’s about to send Mitch to the cart, she fucking murders him in front of everyone to prove a point. 

There’s no remorse, it’s slow enough for Lilly to actually process what’s happening and show that she does know what she’s doing. That would scare me. That would show me that these people aren’t fucking around and they’re willing to kill some of them if that means getting the rest for their army. 

You still get your shock value death but it actually does something other than kill a character off. 

I’m really supposed to believe this is the same Lilly who can order to have Louis’ tongue cut off? 

But it doesn’t end there. No, no... there’s another part to Mitch’s death that annoys me, and it’s how insistent everyone was that his death is going to have a greater impact on the second half of the story. It had a purpose within the story, we did it for a reason.

...I mean, it has an impact on Willy and his arc for the second half. 

But that’s it. 

Oh... oh, what’s that? Oh, you were referring to those throwaway lines about Tenn? “He was screwing up again, just like when he got Mitch killed.”

OOOOOH.... I see, that’s what Mitch’s death was really amounting to... some lines dealing with whether or not AJ shot Tenn. Well, I guess I was wrong. Mitch’s death wasn’t just shock value. It really had a big purpose. In fact, Mitch’s death has the biggest impact on the series. Fuck Marlon and Brody’s deaths, and Lilly and James, and hell, fuck Tenn’s death, too. They’re meaningless compared to Mitch’s death. You did it, guys. You really did it. 

....Okay, I’m done. I’m just... salty, I fully admit. 

Being serious again, Mitch’s death is probably the worst in TFS as far as unpreventable deaths go and the real reason I side-eye the writers is because they tried to tell us it was going to have this huge impact in the future and it just... didn’t. 

2. Nick and his offscreen death.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck happened here? Why- what are you- how the hell did this happen??

I’m actually baffled. 

Someone wrote this. 

They set up at the end of ep3 that Nick is shot.... then ep4 comes and we find him like this. I just... did someone on the writing staff not wanna do their job that day? Someone was working on the story and at the last minute forgot Nick was a character, so they were like “Eh, he’s not important anyway, and it adds to the shittiness of everything so we’ll pretend this was 100% intentional.” 

Nick was one of your more interesting characters and you really thought killing him off like this was the way to go, huh? 

Like, his first death is shitty, but in the very least it kind of makes sense. 

But this? 

This is horrible. If I wrote this, I’d be embarrassed. 

I just... I’m so tired of S2 right now. 

This is at #2 because it’s just lazy, bad writing. At least with Luke, Mitch, and Mariana, we got to see their deaths and they had some, even if just a little, impact on the story afterward. 

But Nick? 

Nothin’.

Even Luke, who is the closest person to Nick, name drops him maybe twice? It’s just.... nothing. 

And yeah, you can come at me with the “oh well not every death has to have meaning!” 

This is a story, okay? This is a story crafted with characters who have arcs by people who wanted it to be a success, and usually that means having satisfying conclusions.... or, intentionally unsatisfying if that acts as a natural conclusion to their story or is a reoccurring theme. 

Nick’s death is just the writers falling flat on their faces and hoping no one would notice. 

1. Sarah and both of her shitty deaths. 

Ugh. UGH.

Okay. 

I’m not even side-eyeing anymore-- I’m fully glaring.

I don’t have to tell you how shitty both of Sarah’s deaths are. We all played S2, we all know that no matter what you do, Sarah dies in ep4. You can try to save her, she lives a little bit longer, and then falls to her death... and both deaths have her being devoured alive by walkers. 

Now, this is enough to annoy me. First off, I guess my choices don’t really matter. Sure, you can justify this as one of those “sometimes you can’t save someone, no matter how hard you try” ...and fine. Sure, if they had bothered to execute that point well, then great. 

But I disagree that the writers had that in mind when they were killing Sarah off. 

In fact, I know what what going on in their brains-- “God, can’t wait to kill Sarah off! Give us any reason to do it! She’s so damn annoying!”

The writers have openly admitted that a lot of the team were just waiting to kill Sarah off, waiting for any reason, so when the major part of the community who take everything at surface level because why think? kept complaining about Sarah, they jumped on the opportunity to kill her off.... but the deaths are dumb.

Listen, this isn’t like when the writers planned on killing Lee off. You can plan a death and even be excited about it because you’re excited about the story and execution of it all. You can be excited to see the heartbreaking end of this character’s story that you crafted because you know you put everything you had into it.

These deaths were lazy and the product of a team who didn’t care about the character. Sarah dies and no one cares. 

Sure, you leave her to die the first time and Jane does her thing about how you can’t save everyone, she talks about Jaime, and then Luke exposes himself as the fake Luke by agreeing that leaving Sarah behind was probably the right thing. Like what?

Now as much as I hate that first one, the second one is even worse. 

For some reason, Sarah is standing in the corner while they’re trying to fight off the walkers instead of being inside with Rebecca... y’know, where she would be if this was logical. 

Then the deck breaks and Sarah falls, trapped under a pile of wood. Jane, despite being the one who sees Sarah as a liability, goes down there to try and help her after Clementine begs her to. 

But because the writers don’t know what they’re doing, Jane gets hit by a random piece of wood and can’t get Sarah out in time, leaving her to be eaten alive by walkers. 

Then AJ is born and no one cares about Sarah ever again. 

I just.... 

Could’ve had an interesting story arc with a character who just lost her father in such a gruesome way, a character that already deals with anxiety and other problems that you never bothered to explain other than “she isn’t like Clementine” and you could’ve had her grow. 

But I guess that would’ve taken effort.... and screen time away from Kenny, and god forbid we ever do that. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Ava falling to her death in the most comedic way possible, made even more hilarious by David’s two seconds of mourning. -Omid.... because hope is dead. Do you get it? Hope? is dead? Because Omid means hope? Do you get it?? -Honestly you could put most of S2′s deaths on this list because oh my god. -Ben because I’m still a salty bitch.  -I also wanna add Louis and Violet’s deaths on the bridge mostly because they die, Clem is sad for two seconds, Tenn says sorry, and then no one cares. Yeah, yeah, they mourned off screen and I call that lazy bullshit. -Hell, throw Tenn’s death on here, too, for similar reasons-- no one but Louis/Violet and AJ seem to care. Even Clementine is like “whatever” after it happens. 

---

Y’know, picking this one seemed like a good idea at the time, but by now I’m just annoyed by all these dumb deaths. So, what are your thoughts? Are there any deaths that make you question the writers that didn’t end up on the list? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Lemme know, we can have a friendly discussion about it. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Favorite Louis Moments

[fakeloveaskblog]

Janus, have you and Remus hung out other then when you go to fake therapy? You should ask him out? Keep it open, maybe not outright ask him for a date but to hang out!

(Words: 2140)

Janus: "Oh you know me anon. I am so totally known for asking people to hang out. Yes me and Remus have been eeeverywhere together /s No we have never hung out.......But I suppose you have been very wise so far. So I shall try and go ut of my comfort zone and ask him he would like to spend time together"

They were in that same spot they always stood after the fake therapy. Where they were supposed to part ways. Remus had his phone out, checking the bus times. Janus knew he had to say something now or else yet another week would pass and he would never have the courage to ask.

"Do ehm is you- fuck-" Janus wanted to smash his head open on a rock. He was a idiotic mess who couldn't even say a simple sentence.

"What?" Remus looked at him with a smile. Jan swore he had specifically practiced that smile so it made him melt internally every single time.

"Do you maybe possibly have anything to do today?"

"Oh yeah all booked up with exorcising demons out of old ladies' houses. you know how it is!" He let out a short screechy laugh "Come on Snakey y'know I don't have a job or any plans on robbing banks right now. Of course I'm free!"

"Noted. Then I am totally not asking you to perhaps do something like going to the movies?"

Remus' eyes widened and he shone up into a huge toothy smile "YES!" He grabbed Janus' hand while flapping with his other hand "You gotta be psychic or something! I've been wanting to see this movie made by a director I'm hyperfixating on but I didn't wanna go alone and my sister is still out of town SO this is great!!"

He didn't waste another second. He dragged Janus with him as he began to very quickly walk while continuing to stim.

All Janus could do was stare at their hands. Their palms pressed against each other. His love's thumb brushing up and down his skin. He had never been happier over forgetting his gloves at home.

His cheeks stayed rosy red the entire walk. It was like walking on air. He didn't even realize Remus was still speaking until they got the cinema.

"-And that's why I thought it would have been better if the hamster had died!" He concluded.

".............Fascinating" Janus replied hoping it was a good answer.

"I know right!"

He looked down and realized they were still holding hands. His happy expression instantly dropped as he let go of Janus like he was made of fire.

"Oh fuck buckets! I should have asked if you were okay with like ehhh touch beforehand! Now you're gonna cut my head off!" Remus gasped out.

"Indeed, I do now hate you and I have already hired an assassin to kill you" Janus replied sarcasticly "It's okay, I promise"

Remus let out a breathe of relief in the most cartoon balloon leaking air way possible. "Neat!"

It was 3 pm on a Thursday so there weren't any people in line. Remus didn't even give his friend a chance to pay for his own ticket. He also got a big ass popcorn and a bag of eyeball candies.

He dumped the snacks into the arms of Janus as his eyes caught on a poster on the wall advertising another movie. He jumped up and down while pointing at it, like the excitement was too much to be contained in his body.

"It's my sister! She told me she would be in this one!" The poster didn't show the actresse's face since she had on a cloke to look dark and myserious (tm) "That's her I swear on the last human tooth I have!"

"I believe you. You could be her perfect stunt double"

Remus shoot his arms out "That's what I've been saying too!!! You really are a psychic! Being a stunt double is literally the dream job! I get to pretend to be killed in so many ways! I get to jump off of buildings!! Sadly she mostly does dramas and romances and all that boring stuff"

"Well I for one would love seeing you get stabbed on film" He held his hand over his heart as he said it.

"Omg snakey!! Thank you!! Means a lot!"

He had that wide smile on his lips again. Janus wished he was able to make him smile like that every day.

"Oh the movie is starting soon! Ahhhh exciting! Horror really is the best genre!"

Janus paled "Horror?"

"Yeah! I told you all about the movie on the way here remember? You're okay with horror right?"

"O-Of course! I have watched halloween alien on elm street like 5 times!" He lied.

Remus chuckled "Sure sounds like it"

They went into the screening room. Ads were running on the big screen. They were the only ones there. Remus found their seats right at the back in a corner. He sat down and triumphantly put his feet on the seat in front of him.

"Look at that snakey! We've got the whole room to ourselves! Only...."

His eyes suddenly stopped and shifted to stare out into air. His happy expression slowly disappeared leaving a hollow look on his face. He moved his legs up to his chest and sat completely still.

".....Only us......"

Janus slumped down in the seat next to his. Remus leaned away in his seat so he was further from his friend.

"Indeed. I could poison you and no one would be here to stop me. But I won't...yet" He hoped a joke would make his love lighten up again.

Remus forced a halfhearted smile "Sure that"

The movie started. Janus was already stress eating popcorn from fear by the time the first scene had ended. Which only made him even more stressed over making Remus think he was a fat gluttonous disgusting mess! Which he was! But he didn't want him to know that!!

Whenever he glanced over to Remus he looked just the same, As if the movie was fucking mamma mia or something.

He didn't want to seem unclassy and close his eyes like a 5 year old so he tried to comb his hair in front of his eyes instead. He couldn't stop his racing heartbeat or his unsteady hands though. He didn't do well to loud sounds. Or screaming voices.

He jumped in his chair at an extra gory scare. The popcorn landed all over his body. His cheeks went red enough to be mistaken for a ladybug.

Remus glanced over at him "You don't have to hide that you're scared y'know. The audience reaction is like half the fun"

"Me? Scared? I haven't felt scared since I buried a body in 1967! This is just how I show my appreciation for movies!" He blurted out the lie in a panic.

His love threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh. He couldn't stop as he buried his head in his hands. His shoulders moved in rhytm to his giggles. It seemed to calm his nerves a bit.

"Holy shit snakey that was such a horrible lie! You're such a dork! I say that with affection I promise"

Janus couldn't help but chuckle along "Dork actually means something really dirty. I know since I was practically married to my dictionary when I was youn-"

"WHALE PENIS! I know!! You're the first one who also knows!"

"I suppose that means we're soulmates now" Janus couldn't help but say it.

"Penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "Yes"

In the movie a man's torso was ripped from his body. Remus flapped his hands. Janus let out a quiet whimper.

"I could infodump a bit if that would make you less scared"

Janus leaned closer to respond but Remus instantly flinched back. He made sure to keep keeping his distance "I would love to hear"

He shone up into a smile. It wasn't quite as carefree and happy as the other ones but it was still his smile and Janus had caused it. It made him feel warm.

He started rambling about the director's other movies and how the themes tied in with this movie. About how the director had studied to be a doctor so he know enough about biology to make all of the gore extra realistic. About how the movie soundtrack's added to the scare even though they were often silly. All while stimming. Sometimes he went quiet to focus on the film while Janus curled in on himself and closed his eyes.

Honestly Janus could have heard him go on for hours but sadly the movie eventually ended. And they eventually got out of the cinema. And eventually the snacks the shared while sitting on a bench outside also ended. And the conversation died out.

It was only around 5 pm but the sky had already started to darken. The streetlamps were getting lit one by one, and a few people were standing in line for the next movie. Janus feared having to say goodbye.

Luckily he didn't have to as Remus quietly asked "Could you like follow me home? The apartement is only 15 minutes and a minor murder spree away"

"Of course!" He replied a bit too excitedly.

He made sure to not walk too close as to not make him flinch again. Remus started to subconsciously hymm on a song after some time of silence. Janus couldn't stop feeling over the moon at the fact that he was hanging out with someone! And he seemed to like him!! And he was in love with him no less!!!

"Snakey I think I gotta admit something kinda dorky-"

"Is it the murder in 1967? We've all been there"

"Actually it was in 1987. Okay but really.....The only friends I've ever really had has been my sister and my ex, and some online friends here and there I guess but we lost contact really quickly. What I mean is that I'm really rusty on this whole friend thing and I'm just glad that you don't get annoyed by my infodumping or stimming or....or the whole me!"

Janus' eyes widened and he slowly let up into a laugh "Oh! Oh I have been so worried for nothing then! I've never had any friends, at all! This was literally the first time I ever went to a movie with another person! We're the same!"

Remus giggled "We really are penis soulmates!"

"I am begging you to not let that become a thing"

"Too late! It already is! We're both friendless dorks you motherfucker!! Of course we're penis soulmates!"

Janus sighed "I am suddenly so glad we are close to your place so I can get away from you.....That was a lie"

Remus lightly punched his shoulder "Better be. Or else I'd have to kidnap you!"

He stopped in front of a series of building of obviously quite glamorous apartements. Janus was honestly starting to wonder if he had a sugar daddy and or sold drugs. Or else he had no idea how he could afford all of this.

They stopped right in front of the entrance. Remus crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Janus fiddled with his sleeves. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

Janus shuly glanced at his love's face. His birtmarks which he so wanted to press kisses to. His fluffy hair he would love to nuzzle into. His full lips which he thought about running his finger over every time he looked at them. He was beautiful. Just beautiful.

"Sooo....I guess I will either see you in hell or in fake therapy next week?" Remus asked.

"For sure"

He awkwardly opened the door "Well I will see you then then!" He did fingerguns "Bye penis soulmate!"

Janus rolled his eyes while waving "Bye.....phallus companion!"

The door closed and he was left in the silence. It took a few second and then

"YES! OH I did it! I survived! Aphrodite would be so proud of me!!"

Janus had to sit down. He was going to explode. He couldn't stop moving his hands around. He was going to pass out. He had never been happier. He deserved a whole soup bowl of ice cream.

He took off his beanie to drag his hand through his hair. He felt breathless from happiness as he stared up at the sky. He had never felt more in love.

He looked at where he imagined you would stand if you had a corporeal body.

"So I suppose your advice worked quite well. It did sound like he wanted to hang out again...So anon....or whatever voice that is in my head that asks me things......Do you have any suggestions on what we should do on our next hangout?"

[tooyoungngolden]

Prompts:

1 - “My heart feels so full with you,”

2 – “I’m so in love with you and it’s scaring me,”

3 – “There she is. I love your smile,”

4 – “I have never loved you as much as I do right now,”

3K words

——————

Y/N absolutely hated the fact that she was distancing herself from Harry. Hated the fact that she wasn’t around him as much as she used to be. Hated the fact that her feelings had stopped her seeing her best friend.

Y/N had first met Harry four years ago when one of their mutual friends decided that they’d be better suited as best friends to each other than to them. It hadn’t bothered her or Harry- an almost instantaneous bond was made and they were best friends.

Fast forward five years, and she knows pretty much every single thing there was to know about the Harry Styles. Every single little thing- the good things and the bad. How he always wastes tea – no matter who it’s from- how he always meditates first thing in the morning no matter what, and how he always washes his hair with conditioner twice whenever he showers. And all of the things that other people don’t know. How making music sometimes stresses him out so much he can’t sleep. How he sometimes doesn’t want to get out of bed because he doesn’t want to disappoint his loved ones. And how he smiles, his different smiles for different situations, for different people. All of the little things that nobody else but her knew.

She knows everything about him. And it makes her fall in love with him every day, over and over again, every day since she met him.

But now here she was. Locked inside her flat, wrapped in two blankets on her sofa watching the saddest movies she could find on her shitty Netflix account. Which was also shit, because her whole Netflix was full of movies that her and Harry were planning on watching together whenever her got breaks from the studio or just needed somewhere to go when he finished working.

It wasn’t the fact that they were movies that they were planning on watching together. It wasn’t. It was the fact that it was always Harry. Everything that she wanted to do- she wanted to do with him. They’d been best friends for years and she’d never let her feelings get in the way of her spending time with him.

But here she was. Sitting on her sofa, crying over some stupid line in some stupid movie that Harry would completely love. And she missed him. Like crazy.

Y/N knows that she’s always been pretty open about her feelings. She talks about them, let’s people know how she’s feeling. She wants people to know what’s on her mind and what going on with her- the person she spoke to most about that was Harry, and he did the exact same thing. They were each other’s person. The one person in the whole entire world that they could trust and turn to no matter what.

And right now Y/N didn’t have anyone. Harry wasn’t here, she hadn’t spoken to him all day and she missed him. And she loved him. And all of these things she kept to herself.

She’s so engrossed in watching the trashy movie and wiping at her eyes and nose that she doesn’t hear the lock on her front door clicking open. She doesn’t hear the door sticking and being shoved, she doesn’t here shoes being kicked off, or him shuffling down the hallway and into the living room. She definitely hears the small “oh sweetheart,” that his raspy voice lets out as he sees the state she’s in.

Her head snaps round to see that Harry was standing beside the couch, watching her dab at her eyes and wipe her nose. She fells her whole body tensing at the sight of her best friend. She knows why, she just doesn’t want him figuring it out.

“What are you doing here?” She sniffles, reaching up and wiping at her nose again.

“You’ve been ignoring me love,” he shrugs back, as if that was the perfect answer.

Y/N feels her body tense further at the term of endearment that Harry usually uses for her. She loves it, loves when the pet names just slip out. They usually make her feel soft and warm inside. Right now however, they’re making her panic.

“’ve not been feeling well,” was her response to him, she doesn’t want to give too much away. Doesn’t want to make him upset- lord knows she can’t stand when he’s upset.

“You should’ve called love, you know I would’ve helped you,”

“Your not meant to be home for another few days,” Y/N whispers back, she knew that she wanted to get over herself in the few days that it took Harry to wrap everything up and come home. She wanted to be back to her normal self before he even realised something was wrong with her.

Harry nods down at her, shuffling his way over to the sofa before he sits down beside her. He doesn’t touch, and for that Y/N’s slightly grateful.

“I got home a little early, you weren’t answering any of my calls or texts so I came here as soon as all my stuff was dropped home.”

It’s now Y/N’s turn to not back at Harry. She doesn’t know what to say to him, he’s seen her cry before- she knows he has. But he’s always been there when she starts, or he’s the first person she calls. She’s never ignored him to cry. She’s never done it before and he’s confused as to what’s going on with her.

“What’s wrong love?” Harry whispers, moving so that he’s sitting closer to her.

She shakes her head, tears creeping back into her eyes,

“Don’t call me that, please H,” she croaks

“Talk to me then, your scaring me lo-“ he cuts himself off, stopping the full name from slipping out.

Y/N reaches up to brush at her eyes again, trying to swipe the tears away before they even escape her eyes. She doesn’t know how to talk to Harry about this. Doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m not- not really sure what to say,” she stutters, moving her jeans back to to grip at the blankets that were still spread across her legs.

“Start with telling me what wrong, please,” Harry starts, moving so that his body was more angled towards where Y/N is sat at her end of the sofa.

“I, I- my feeling are just a little confused. That’s all, it’s nothing Harry. I promise,” she starts, rambling at little at what she was trying to get out. She doesn’t want to come out and say that she’s completely and utterly in love with her best friend. Harry doesn’t feel the same about her, that much she knows. She doesn’t want to get her heart broken.

“It’s not nothing is it love, your clearly upset about this person so talk to me about it. Tell me what’s happening inside that incredible head of yours,” Harry ignores the stab of jealousy that tugs at his heart of the mention of Y/N being in love with or having feelings for someone.

“I can’t, I don’t know how to talk about it,” she whispers, not even realising that Harry had called her love again.

“Can you tell me who it is then?” He questions, trying to prompt her into to telling him what’s wrong.

Y/N shakes her head, she doesn’t want Harry knowing this secret. Doesn’t want this getting out.

“Can’t,” she whispers, pulling the blankets a little tighter around her body.

“Why not love, you know you can always talk to me. I’ll never judge you for anything, you know that,” he murmurs to her, moving his hand over so that it rests her against hers where her own hands lays against the blanket.

“I know, I know I can H. Just can’t about this,” she sniffles.

Harry nods at her, he wants to know what’s wrong with his best friend, wants to know what exactly is making her so upset so he can try and fix it for her.

“You wanna just watch some movies? We don’t have to talk, okay? We can just watch something,” he murmurs back to her, trying to make her relax a little more.

Y/N nods again, moving back into the sofa so that Harry can sit more comfortably, she moves the blanket away from her legs so that Harry can shuffle under the warm fabric as well.

“Something funny yeah?” Harry questions, moving to take the remote out of her hands and scroll through a list of films.

“Maybe something, like. Romantic? Or happy? Something happy.” Y/N replies, wanting to watch something with a happy ending. Something that wasn’t going to make her cry, potentially.

Harry nods at her, “Okay love, something happy it is,” and continues scrolling through the films on her- basically their – list on Netflix.

Harry stops on a film that piques his interest, stopping and looking over at Y/N to see if she wants to watch the film as well. She doesn’t even bother looking at the description of what the films about, just nods her head at him and continues to sit there and stare. If Harry notices that she’s staring at him he doesn’t say or even mention it.

Harry clicks play on the movie and snuggles closer to Y/N so that she’s leaning on his body. She moves her head down, resting it on his shoulder and focuses on the opening credits of the film that Harry had picked for them to watch. It’s probably something that Harry’s already seen to be fair, and it’s probably something that they’ll watch again- when she’s more capable of actually looking and taking in what’s happening on the screen in front of her.

She spends about five minutes looking at the tv screen before she shuffles her body around, moving so that she was further away from Harry so that she could not so discreetly watch him watch the film. And that’s exactly what she does, she moves around, her body still mostly resting against Harry but her head is moved so that she can angle it perfect and watch Harry.

Harry doesn’t comment, he can feel her watching. Has always been able to tell when something was bugging her. Was always able notice when something was wrong and when she needed to talk. He wasn’t going to push, he was going to sit here, pretend to watch whatever movie he’d picked and wait for her to feel comfortable enough to talk. He always does.

It’s about 35 minutes into the film before Y/N even makes a sound, she whimpers, the sound snaking it’s way out before she can stop it. Tears sneaking there way back into her eyes. Harry snaps her head around to look at her, his own heart hurting at the look of pure sadness on her face.

“Oh love. What’s the matter,” he questions again, wanting her to talk to him this time.

Y/N chokes back another noise, shaking her head a little as small globs of tears fall down her cheeks.

“I’m so in love with you and it’s scaring me,” she whimpered, not meeting Harry’s eyes. She can feel his body tense slightly where they’re resting against each other. She knows that he wasn’t expecting those words to come out of her mouth.

Harry turns his body to look at her, “You- you love me?” He stutters, not fully comprehending the words that she just said.

Y/N knows that there absolutely now way that she can go back from what she just said, there’s no way that the words that are now out in the open can be taken back. There out there. And Harry definitely hears what she said- and it’s certainly not the way she usually expresses her love for him.

“I- I’m. Yes. Yeah I am,” she whispers, looking down at her hands that are gripping the blanket that’s resting in her legs, she doesn’t want to look at Harry. Doesn’t want to see his face and the rejection that she’s bound to get.

“Look at me,” he murmurs at her,

Y/N shakes her head, as more tears silently work the way down her cheeks.

“Look at me love, please.” He says slightly louder.

Harry can see that she’s clearly not going to move her head, knows that she’s not going to look at him after her confession. So he moves, moves so that he’s sitting closer to her, legs resting practically on top of her. He moves his hands, moves them so that he can gently grasp her chin and force her face to look at him.

“Say it again,” he whispers, gazing at her.

Shaking her head again, she try’s her hardest not to look Harry in the eyes. If she did, she would’ve seen that he’s looking at her with so much love his gorgeous green is almost fully taken over by black.

“Say it again, so I can say it back.” He whispers again.

Y/N snaps her eyes up to look at him. Meeting his eyes for the first time since she’d let those words slip out.

“I- what?”

Harry smiles down at her, soft dragging his thumb across her cheek. “Say it,”

“I-“ she stammered, not sure she actually heard the word right.

“I love you,” she whispers, moving her eyes back down slightly, still looking at his face, but no longer in his eyes.

Harry laughs, letting out a small little huff that moves the hairs that have fallen out of Y/N bun and are resting against her forehead. Y/N sees when his lips spread into a grin, can see that his dimple is beaming and that he’s not mad. He’s happy.

“I love you too,”

Y/N snaps her eyes back to his, her own filling with happy tears this time around. She stares as him as his mouth spills out more words that she’s not fully comprehending.

“I’ve loved you for so long. I love you and every single things about you, I love your hair, and the way you hate having it up except when it annoys you. I love how you get all fidgety when your bored and how you always have some form of book on your phone to read. I love how you never drink your teas and how that you always have to have three sugars in absolutely everything hot. And how you make the most silliest jokes that I can’t help but steal, I love every single face that you’ve ever made and how you always complain about my taste in movies even though you love them” he rambles, the last little bit registers with Y/N and she laughs, her smile working it’s way back onto her face.

“There she is, I love you smile,” Harry grins at her, this thumb still resting on her cheeks moves down to brush against the skin right by her lips.

Y/N can feel the blush that spreads across her face. Can feel the pink as it rushes to her face. She also knows that Harry can clearly tell that she’s blushing.

“I love you,” Harry repeats.

“I love absolutely every single thing about you. My heart feels so full with you,” he whispers down at her, still smiling.

Y/N feels her heart swell. She can feel herself fall in love with Harry all over again. Can feel every single happy emotion that she’s ever had for Harry come rushing to the surface of her chest. She’s so full of him.

“I know. I love you too,” she whispers back, her voice small and so full of love.

“I’ve never loved you as much as I do right now,” she states, her voice more confident the more she knows and understands that Harry loves her too. He actually loves her too.

“Yeah?” Harry questions, grinning down at her.

“You really love me?”

She nods, her own hands coming up to grip Harry’s wrists where they’re resting against her face. She rubs her thumb against the anchor tattoo that sits against his wrist. Feeling the heat of his skin against her own.

“I really really love you H,” she smiles.

“I really really love you too,” he grins back, bending his head down so that he can rest his forehead against hers. Sliding his hands down so that they now rest against the skin on her neck.

Harry stares at her, not saying anything. They both just sit there and look at each other. Absorbing in all of the love and feelings that they’ve both just confessed to each other. They’ve never been as happy as they were right now, with each other.

“Y/N…” Harry murmurs.

She hums, choosing to not saying anything, just continuing to look at Harry.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper, just loud enough for Y/N to hear.

Once again she chooses not to use her words, she shuffles around so that she’s now resting on her knees next to him on the sofa. Her head closer to his with how’s she seated she nods, wanting him to finally kiss her.

Harry bites his lip before he finally bends down and connect his lips to Y/N’s. It’s gentle. And sweet, and absolutely every single thing that she’s ever wanted in another person.

It doesn’t last long, neither of them experienced in kissing each other. Neither of them really knowing understanding how right and completely good it was going to feel. But it does. It feels so good that Y/N moves up to kiss him again. Moving her body so that her lips reconnect to Harry’s. Shuffling her body closer to his again so that she’s nearly siting on his lap.

They’ve never been happier. Lost and so so in love with each other that the world around them doesn’t exist anymore. It’s each other. Forever. Harry knows what’s wrong with her now. Knows that all she needed was him. And he’ll always know that now.

They’ve got each other. Completely and utterly in love with each other. They know that there never going to love another person as much as they love each other.

They couldn’t be happier, absolutely nothing else could make them happier than they are right now- with each other. Couldn’t be happier with how in love they are. They’re wrapped in each other. And nothing else matters. Nobody else matters but them.

———————

Another onee!! Wanted a little bit of yearning in this one! Don’t know how well I did so let me know loves!!

Feedback is always loved and appreciated! Tell me what’s up! Let me know what you want! I’m always open to a request! And I always, always, always need new things to write!!

Be nice and treat people with kindness!

Love Dari!🌻

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Stab Me In The Front

Part 1: America’s Asshole

Intro: It’s been a year since Katie was held hostage by Hydra, and whilst she’s still working through her feelings she has an idea about how she can make other people’s lives better as a result of her ordeal. Alongside this, she needs to take a trip to Boston to meet Harlan Thrombey-SIP’s latest author. Slightly nervous about taking a business trip alone after what happened last time, Steve offers to go with her.

What could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: Bad language. SMUT (NSWFW)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So, here we go. This was a request/idea from @icanfeelastormbrewing​ for an Avengers/Knives Out Cross Over where Katie and Steve come face to face with America’s Asshole! The tongues are sharp and the knives are out! This is set in 2015 so way before the KO storyline so therefore contains no spoilers!

Oh, @angrybirdcr​ I bloody love this edit and banner- the edit you have named the Ransom pre- Steve-Rogers-fucked-my-face-after-I-called-his-wife-a-hoe edit...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

October 2015

 “So, Mr Thrombey, that’s all confirmed.” Katie tapped at a key on her computer to lock the meeting in her calendar. “11 am, Next Thursday, the 15th ”

“I’ll send you through the zip code and location for your GPS.” Harlan responded “The house is just outside of Lincoln, not far from Pierce Park. It shouldn’t be too far for you if you’re staying at the Harbor.”

“Thank you.” Katie smiled as she spoke into her phone.“I look forward to meeting you on Thursday Sir.”

“Oh, less of the Sir, Harlan please. And the pleasure is all mine Miss Stark, I mean, Mrs Rogers, my apologies!” The man chuckled. “And thank you for accommodating my need to pull this meeting forward by a few days.”

“It’s not a problem.” She assured him. They exchanged pleasantries again and then she cut the call and leaned back in her chair, cracking her neck, before she double checked the travel arrangements. The hotel was booked, flight was sorted, hire care was confirmed. All that she needed to do was not forget the annotated manuscript or the cover ideas.

The door to her office opened and she looked up to see Tony leaning in the doorway, waving a Starbucks cup at her, along with one of their familiar brown paper bags, clearly bearing treats.

“I love you, bro!” She smiled at him as he wandered in, chuckling, placing the drink and paper bag down in front of her. She looked into the bag and gave a moan when she saw it was a rather large, gooey looking brownie, and gave a bigger moan when she sipped her drink and found it to be a Pumpkin Spiced Latte. “Perfect Elevenses!”

“Well thought you might need one, you’ve been locked in here since seven this morning…”

“You got FRIDAY spying on me?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“No.” He denied, but at the same time the AI affirmed her suspicions.

“He has indeed had me watch you, Mrs Rogers.” “Traitor.” Tony rolled his eyes and Katie chuckled

“Well I had all this Harlan Thrombey stuff to sort, Steve’s still in Copenhagen with Sam chasing the alleged latest sighing of Bucky.” She shrugged “Not much point in lying in when you’re wide awake is there?”

“True.” Tony nodded. “Are you going back to the Compound tonight?”

“I might just stay here again if that’s ok?”

“Kiddo, you own part of this Tower, it’s always gonna be your home too.” Tony shrugged, “You can stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks Tone.” she smiled. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt safer in the Tower whilst Steve was away, even thought it was ridiculous as the Compound was just as secure, being closer to her brother was a comfort.

“I haven’t forgotten what tomorrow is.” Tony looked at her.

Neither had she. It was a year to the day since Bucky had pulled her out of that shithole in Canada and rescued her from her ordeal at the hands of HYDRA. With a little sigh, Katie pulled off her glasses, a lasting consequence of her period of capture and torture. Ever since spending six weeks in that constantly lit cell she’d needed glasses for anything that required a long period of concentration on a computer screen or monitor if she wanted to avoid migraines. Bruce seemed to think it was something to do with the fact that her cell had been painfully bright all the time and that continued exposure to artificial light in such a way triggered a subconscious response. 

She ran a hand over her face and looked at her brother, swallowing down the sudden spike of emotion, and  swallowed.“I’ve been trying not to think about it.” she said gently.

“Which is why I booked you and Pepper into the Dominick for the afternoon.” Tony smiled at her, reaching over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Well, Pepper has, I’ve just given her the credit card. Apparently you’re in for a full deep tissue massage, facial and then Franco’s booked to do your hair, oh and don’t bother telling me you’re busy as I had your diary cleared and everything reschedule to next week” He sat back, watching as she opened her mouth before shutting it, shaking her head softly. “You leave in thirty minutes.”

“You spoil me.” She smiled softly. 

“Anything for my girls, plus I thought it might keep you busy whilst Spangles is otherwise engaged.”

“He was hoping to be back but when I spoke to him before he doesn’t know if he’s gonna be.” she shrugged. “It is what it is.” Tony smiled at her before he stood up “Yes, it is. And this afternoon is your pamper time so get your shit together and meet Pepper downstairs.”

“Yes sir.” she said, saluting him with a grin.  

****

As with anything Pepper or Tony booked, the spa was off the scale. Katie had been meaning to go for ages, and now, as she sat in the chair in Franco’s salon she was already searching available dates to go back. She laughed and joked with the stylist and Pepper, the pair of them enjoying yet another bottle of champagne as they had their hair done. A couple of hours later, at just gone seven, Pepper dragged her out over the road and into a ridiculously expensive wine bar.

“Feeling better?” Pepper asked as Katie took a huge gulp of her Sancerre.

Katie smiled. “Much, thank you.” “You know, I’m always here if you want to talk to someone other than Steve about stuff.” Pepper looked at her “And it won’t go any further.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t wanna talk about it.” Katie sighed “You know, Pep, I see all these women out there that went through…well, you know, and I read their testimonies and I just wonder how they’re so strong, like, how can they can just stand up and talk about it?” She trailed off, shaking her head “And me? I just wanna pretend it never happened. So much for being an Avenger huh?”

“Hey.” Pepper shook her head, looking at her sternly. “Stop that, right now.” “Well it’s true.” Katie shrugged. “I mean, I’m a public figure right? But all people know is I was missing for weeks, and it was put down to a mission gone awry. I just, well, I feel like I should be out there, trying to make a difference, helping people.”

“Kiddo, what you went through,” Pepper swallowed, “I can’t even begin to imagine. And how you’ve dealt with and processed it, well, frankly I don’t know how you’ve been so strong. There is no shame in wanting to simply move on and leave it in the past.”

“I know.” Katie sniffed a little. “Thank you. Having everyone around me makes me realise how lucky I actually am. I’ve got a huge support network. Not everyone who goes through…well, not everyone has that to fall back on.” Pepper pondered something before she looked at Katie, “You know, we haven’t picked our Partner Charity for the Stark Relief Fund next year. We could make it one that deals with Sexual violence. No need to go into details as to why.” Katie considered that for a moment, before she nodded. “That’s not a bad idea.” She clicked her deep purple manicured nails against her wine glass, thoughtfully. “It would make a difference, right?”

Pepper nodded. “Absolutely. Give it some thought, see how you feel.” “I will, thanks.” she smiled. 

****

Steve was exhausted but wasn’t willing to spend another moment away from his wife. So the moment the jet was down he headed straight for the garage, jumped on his bike and roared out of the compound heading down town towards Manhattan.

“Good Evening Captain Rogers.” FRIDAY greeted him as he pressed his palm to the access pad at the rear entrance from the underground car park “Mrs Rogers is in your apartment.”

“Thanks FRIDAY.” he said, as the elevator began to rise. It stopped a few floors up, and when the doors flew open he was greeted by Tony who was undoing his tie.

“Oh, you’re back.” He looked at Steve appraisingly.

“You’re up late.” Steve remarked in response.

“Just working on a few things.” Tony said vaguely. “How was the search for Tin Man?” “Well, it was him alright.” Steve ran a hand down his tired face. “Few more leads to work on. We could have stayed out there for a bit longer truth be told but, well, I wanted to be here tomorrow, you know.”

The two men shared a moment of understanding, both of them having experienced unsurmountable raw pain and anguish over the weeks Katie had been missing and it wasn’t something they were likely to forget any time soon. If ever.

“She know you’re home?” Tony looked at him again. Steve shook his head.

“Wanted to surprise her.”

Tony smiled softly. “She’s probably asleep.  Her and Pep have been in the Spa all afternoon and they’ve drunk a lot so…”

Steve gave a huff of a laugh. “Yeah she messaged me before saying you’d sent her there out for the afternoon. From the spelling mistakes in the text I figured there was a fair amount of alcohol that had been consumed.” He paused and smiled. “That was really thoughtful of you, Tony.” “Well it happens occasionally.” Tony sniffed as the elevator stopped at his floor. “Listen, Steve…” Steve turned to face him. “She’s not been herself the last few weeks.” Tony scratched at his beard and Steve took a deep breath.

“I know.” he said gently “I think she’s just, well, processing, if that’s the right word. We only got back from our honeymoon three weeks ago, and it kinda hit her when we got back just what time of year it was. Whilst we were away she didn’t have time to think about it.”

“Just, well, take care of her for me okay?” Tony looked at the Soldier and Steve nodded.

“Always Tony, you had my word on that when I told you I wanted to marry her, and I meant it.”

Tony nodded and clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a look of thanks before he left the elevator on the Part Floor level. It began to rise again and Steve let out a soft sigh. Tony was right, the last two weeks in particular Katie had been a little quiet, less vivacious, almost withdrawn even. At first he had put it down to post honeymoon blues, but Natasha had pointed out that this time twelve months ago she had been at the mercy of HYDRA, with those bastards brutalising her in ways that he couldn’t even bring himself to think about. For this reason, he’d been reticent to go on the latest mission but Katie had insisted, pointing out that they couldn’t not carry on with their lives and that she would be alright.

The fact she had basically moved back into the Tower for the three days he had been gone, however, made him think that she wasn’t quite as alright as she had told him.

The doors opened on their floor and he stepped out. It was mostly dark as he headed through to the bedroom where he found that the TV was playing on the wall, but Katie was fast asleep, one of the pillows clutched to her chest as a makeshift cuddle partner. With a soft smile he closed the door and headed over to the bed. Kicking off his boots he lay on his side, facing her, and brushed her soft hair back off her face before pressing a kiss to the bridge then tip of her nose and finally her lips.

She stirred, her face scrunching up in that adorable way it always did, before she blinked her eyes open. It took her a second to focus but when she did her lips curled upwards into a soft smile which became an ear to ear grin.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said softly, kissing her again, his hand cupping her face.

“You’re home.” She reached up to lay her hand over his. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”

“Wanted to surprise you.”

“Well it worked.”

“I missed you.” He whispered, his thumb caressing her cheekbone as he leaned in for another kiss.

“Missed you more.” She shot back, her lips brushing his and he chuckled.

“Doubt it. How was the Spa?”

“Oh it was amazing.” She gushed, her eyes shining. “I had this deep tissue massage and the guy hit spots on my back I didn’t even know I had. The facial was great, and my hair…”

“I like the colour.” He smiled, gently moving his hand so he twirled a piece around his finger. The ends were slightly lighter than usual, almost a dark honey blonde, and it extended a little up the strands before evening out.

“It’s called ballayage.” She smiled at him. “I just fancied a bit of a change.”

“Looks good on you. And I’m glad you had a nice time, you deserve it.”

“How was the mission? Worth it?”

“Yes and no.” Steve shrugged. “We have a few more leads we can chase up but…” he took a deep breath “I’m beginning to wonder what the point is. He clearly doesn’t wanna be found.”

“The point is he’s your friend, your brother.” Katie moved her hand to run her fingers over his jawline, the pads scratchings lightly against his five-oclock shadow. “Maybe he just needs a bit of time to find himself first, that doesn’t mean you have to give up on him. Besides, I need to give him back his jacket.”

“And I need to thank him. For getting my beautiful girl out and safe.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year tomorrow since he found me.” She said softly

“Is that what’s been bothering you?”

“Huh?”

“The last few weeks you’ve not been yourself.”

She licked her lips and nodded “Yeah, I just, well, I didn’t give it much thought when we were on our honeymoon, you know, but since coming back and ramping up the Thrombey Campaign it’s kinda hit home a little.” And suddenly Steve understood. SIP were publishing the man’s latest book, “The Colour of Revenge” which was all about a Detective on the trail of a killer who was hunting down and dispatching of six men who had been acquitted of a gang rape and murder.

“Shit.” He let out a groan at the fact he hadn’t made the connection. “Honey, I’m so stupid not to realise that.” “Hey.” She frowned, “Don’t…” She reached up and smoothed the lines that had appeared on his brow and he let out a sigh, gently reaching up to lace his fingers with hers, bringing her hand towards him and placing a soft kiss on her wrist. “It’s better now you’re home.” She assured him gently.

He smiled and gave her a gentle kiss again.

“Is that everything?” He pressed and she hesitated again.

“I’m scared.” She admitted eventually, looking at him.

“Scared of what?”

“Going away, on my own.” The tears welled in her eyes. “I hate that they made me like this, Steve.”

He let out a sigh, he hated that she was scared too. She didn’t deserve it. 

“Why don’t I come with you?” He asked, the idea suddenly forming in his mind.  Katie stilled for a moment and he continued. “Not to the actual meeting, but I can drop you off and pick you up, hang around, whatever you want me to do.”

She looked up at him smiling softly, not even trying to pretend she wasn’t relieved he had offered. “Would you?”

“Of course.” He nodded, wiping the tears off her face. “You only had to ask.” “I didn’t want to. I know how busy you are here and…” “That can wait.” He held her face in his hands as he drove his message home. “You’re the most important thing in my life and if me coming with you makes you feel better then…” He shrugged “Besides, I’ve always wanted to go to Boston.”

“I know we haven’t been back from our honeymoon long, but maybe we can make a little trip out of it if you like?” Her face was suddenly hopefully “Come back on the Saturday?”

“Sure.” Steve smiled at her. “Let’s do it.”

“Oh, Stevie you’re gonna love it.” she beamed, and he smiled at the way her face had gone from being furrowed with worry to alive with excitement. “Massachusetts is amazing in the fall and Boston is just stunning…” “Well I’ll make sure I bring my sketch book.” He smiled “Give me something to do whilst you’re in the meeting.” “Thank you.” She said softly. “I’ll book us somewhere nice to eat one night. Give us an excuse to wear something pretty.”

“Like you need an excuse.” He teased, and she nipped him harshly on the arm. He chuckled and then with a groan he unwillingly pushed himself up off the bed.

“I need a shower.” He said, almost apologetically. “I won’t be long.”

“You better not be.” She muttered and he smiled, dropping a kiss to her forehead before he headed into the bathroom.

True to his word, he wasn’t long. Five minutes, tops. But by the time he came back, the TV was off and Katie was fast asleep. Thinking back to what Tony had said, he found himself wondering if she had actually slept much at all whilst he was gone.

Steve dried himself off, stepped into a clean pair of boxers and then slid into the bed next to his wife, slipping his arms around her. Once her back was nestled snugly into his chest, he dropped a soft kiss to her neck and closed his eyes, happy to have her in his arms.

****

Steve woke the next morning to find his girl tangled around him. She’d shifted in the night, clearly, and now her face was pressed into his chest, right leg snaked between both of his, her right hand was slid under his arm, lightly gripping his shoulder whilst her left rested against her head, fingers in her hair. Smiling to himself he pulled her closer, relishing the feel of her against him. She murmured something incoherently as she gently moved, her cheek pressing into the hair on his chest, the hand around his shoulder slid down to the base of his back where her fingers simply rested, soft against his spine as she continued to sleep. 

And Steve was quite happy to let her nap for longer, using him as her own personal cuddly toy.

He dozed in and out of consciousness again, drifting off for another ten minutes or so, before he felt Katie stirring in his arms, and a soft kiss gently being pressed to his jaw line. He smiled at the contact and tightened his hold on her again, his eyes still closed.

“Morning, Beautiful.” He said softly, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Morning, Soldier.” She said, her cheek returning to his chest as she basked in the safety and warmth of his hold as his hand crept up the back of the stolen shirt she was wearing, his rough fingers ever so gentle against her skin as he trailed the pads up and down her spine.

“Sleep okay?” He asked, his eyes still not opening.

“Yeah.” She assured him, truthfully. It had been the best night sleep she’d had in days.

“Good. What do you fancy doing today?”

He felt her still and then she pulled back slightly, and at that he opened his eyes and blinked to see those gorgeous emeralds locked onto him.

“Are you not needed at the Compound?”

He shook his head “Kitten, I’ve not seen you for almost three days so I figured we deserved one together.”

She groaned “I have meetings this morning.” “That’s okay, I’ll meet you at lunch.” He said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She didn’t argue. She knew full well why he’d taken the time out, and frankly she adored him for it. Without saying a word she leaned up and captured his lips in a gentle kiss that quickly became heated, but was shattered by the piercing noise of Katie’s alarm.

She gave a groan, and made to move.

“Don’t you dare.” Steve mumbled against her mouth, his grip on her tightening.

“Stevie,” She sighed “I gotta…”

He reached over, his large body flattening her into the mattress making her giggle as he swiped across the screen of her StarkPhone silencing it.

“You ain’t gotta do shit.” He said, hovering over her on his elbows. “Except me.” He added as an afterthought.

“Oh so you’re gonna to explain to the board why I’m late?”

“Well, to be honest,” he said, dipping his head to trail hot kisses up the side of the next, “they probably won’t even notice you’re not there. I mean, are you really that important?”

“Fuck you.” She giggled back.

“Believe me, I’m tryin’” he quipped, his mouth nipping at her ear lobe. That made her giggle even more and she felt his lips curve into a smile against her skin.

“I love it when you do that.” He whispered gently, using his leg to part hers, leaving a large thigh pressed against her mound.

“What?”

“Laugh.” His mouth moved up her jaw line. “It makes me happy.”

“You’re such a sentimental sap.” She mumbled, as his lips claimed hers again, the heat between her legs intensifying as the kiss grew deeper, tongues lashing against one another. Steve pulled back for long enough to pull his shirt over her head before his lips returned to hers and Katie’s hand slid into his hair, one hand gently winding into the longer locks on top, her nails on the other dragging against the hairline on his neck. His hands moved, one gently cupping the side of her face, the other, gently skimming over her breast, her nipples already hardened. He gently teased one with the pad of his thumb and his mouth moved down to the other, his tongue and fingers working in tandem. She gave a little involuntary twitch against his thigh and once more his lips quirked up into a smirk.

“You want something, Baby girl?” He asked, peeking up at her and she nodded.

“Stevie, don’t make me beg, please.”

And when she asked so nicely like that, how could he ever refuse? He hooked his fingers into the sleep shorts she was wearing and worked them down, before flipping down the waist band of his boxers. Katie bent her legs as he shuffled upwards and worked into her, the pair of them letting out a groan each at the stretch as he buried himself to the hilt. Steve’s hands fell to either side of Katie’s face as he held himself up on his forearms, kissing her deeply as he flexed his hips forward, again and again, picking up a gentle rhythm.

It was soft, it was gentle, it was loving, everything she knew her soldier to be and it wasn’t long before he had her writhing and groaning loudly, his lips assaulting that spot on her neck.

“So good,” he groaned, his thrusts getting deeper. “Feel so good, Sweetheart.”

“Keep talking.” She keened, arching into him as her hands raked down his back.

“You were made for me, God I love you Mrs Rogers. So fucking much.” His words were punctuated by his heavy breaths as she gave a soft cry, her head falling backwards, eyes fluttering shut as she tightened around him, her legs shuddering slightly as she came.

“Atta girl.” He panted, his hips becoming faster as he thrust through her orgasm, chasing his own. It wasn’t long before he felt the ribbons in his belly unravel and he came with a cry of his own, his head buried in her neck, hips slowing, thrusts going deeper before he eventually stilled, a loud contented sigh escaping his mouth.

After a few moments of them simply basking in the afterglow, Katie’s hands trailing through Steve’s ruffled hair as his nose slid against hers, she gave a sigh and pushed on his shoulders gently.

“Soldier, I really do need to get up.”

He pouted a little causing her to chuckle before he rolled off her and she pushed herself out of bed, heading for the en-suite. Steve watched her go before he swung his legs from under the covers,, found his boxers, pulled them on and headed down to the kitchen to make them both some coffee. *****

The idea had sprung to Katie as she’d headed out for lunch. The local shop was donating a percentage of its earnings that month to a homeless charity, and it set her mind whirring.

“So you want to donate, all the profit we make, from what is going to likely be the biggest book SIP will ever publish, to charity?” Tony looked at her.

“In a nutshell, yeah.” She nodded. “We can split it across various charities, all those that help victims of sexual assault, abuse or crime…”

“Isn’t that what the Stark Relief Fund is for?” Saul, the SI Finance Director looked at her and she turned to face him.

“Yes, but it isn’t just about the money, it’s about raising awareness.” She pressed “A lot of people don’t know those charities existed. Hell, I didn’t know about half of them until a year ago. If we do this, think of the publicity and the press and…”

She trailed off, looking at Tony. He could see the excitement shining in her eyes. She had a point, and it wasn’t like SI needed the money. SIP was her company after all, and if she wanted to use it to do something good, help people, maybe even help herself…then that was fine by him.

He shrugged and looked round the table “SIP’s vision was never about making money.” Katie beamed at her brother as she realised he was backing her “It was always about helping those who needed a hand to get their work out there…I don’t see why in this case, where they author is already so well-known we can’t use that to help those who need it.”

There was a pause and she looked expectantly round the table. One by one the board members seemed to concede, all of them that is bar their Legal Manager, Dan Robertson who was frowning.

“You’re going to have to bring Mr Thrombey on board Mrs Rogers.” He looked at her. “We can’t just use his book as part of a campaign without his permission.” “I know.” She assured him. “I’ve already realised that. I’m meeting him on Thursday next week, I’ll have a full proposal and pitch ready.”

There were a few murmurs around the table before Tony spoke. “Is that it? Are we settled?”

Everyone looked at one another, nodding, and Katie leaned back in her chair, smiling.

But, she wasn’t smiling now. She had less than twenty-four hours before they set off for Boston and her pitch was only half way through completion.

“Sweetheart.” Steve’s hands slid over her shoulders where she sat on the chair in her office. She looked effortlessly elegant, even in sweats and an off the shoulder sweater, one toned leg stretched out in front of her, the other bent at the knee so her foot was resting on the seat of the chair, her left hand was curled around her shin, her right was tapping at her keyboard, the dark blue framed glasses perched on her nose. “It’s late.”

“I know but,” she sighed, “this means a lot to me Steve. I need it to be right.”

Steve knew better than to argue. Instead he leaned over and kissed the side of her neck. “What are you stuck with?”

“I dunno it just…it all seems so impersonal.” She removed her glasses and wrinkled her nose as he sat down in the arm chair in the corner of the room “Facts and figures on sexual assaults and stuff, we all know it happens, it’s about making people want to do something about it.”

“Are you ready to make it personal?” He asked gently, taking a deep breath. He hated thinking about what she had gone through, he truly did, and if he had half a chance he’d rip the bastards limb from limb. But if she was ready to confront what had happened to her, he had to be there to support and back her all of the way, regardless of his own feelings.

“I don’t know. I was talking to Pepper about this the other day. I should be able to, I should be someone other women can look up to, being an Avenger and all but…maybe I’m just not strong enough.” “You’re the strongest person I know.” Steve leaned forward and locked eyes with her.

“I don’t feel like it when it comes to this.”

“Honey,” he scratched at his head. “Without wanting to sound flippant, since January this year, you’ve been, okay, well maybe okay isn’t the word but you’ve gotten on with things. You’ve moved forward, we both did.”

“Because we were busy, and we had no choice…”

“Well maybe,” he shrugged. “But chasing down a sceptre, fighting Ultron, mobilising a new base, planning a wedding, running a business…it’s all time consuming, stressful stuff that if you really weren’t strong enough to deal with what happened, then it would have all gone to shit and probably tipped you over the edge into a nervous breakdown.”

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear as she considered what he was saying.

“Honestly…” he continued, his eyes boring into hers. “If you want my opinion I think the fact that it’s the year’s anniversary of what happened that’s playing on your mind a little. You need to stop, look back and how well you’ve done and stop beating yourself up about all the things you haven’t”

She smiled softly and looked down at her hands before she glanced back up at him “When did you get so wise?” He chuckled “Well I am ninety seven years old.”

She laughed “You don’t look a day over twenty five.”

Steve smiled and stood up. “I’m gonna make you a hot chocolate, and you’re gonna stop overthinking everything and come relax. We’re up early tomorrow. You can do the rest at the hotel tomorrow evening.” “No can do, we’re going out.” Katie grinned at him “I booked the Chef’s table at Menton.”

“The what?” Steve frowned.

“You never heard of a Chef’s table?” She looked at him, and he shook his head. “Oh my God I’ve let you down, so badly. Check this out.” she tapped on her computer, bringing up the website and showed him the photos “It’s a private table with a glass wall that gives you a direct view into the kitchen. Totally impossible to get a reservation unless you book like a year in advance. Or name drop.”

Steve groaned. “You seriously dropped the Captain America wants a table line?”

“No, I dropped the Captain America’s wife want a table line.” She smirked, closing down the browser page.

“Pain in my ass.” Steve grumbled, standing up. But as he left the office there was a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

One that his wife had seen.

*****

“So, was it worth a name drop?” Katie asked as they walked back into the Fireside Lounge located in their hotel.

“I’m happy to overlook the fact you acted like a total brat to make that reservation, yes.” Steve grinned as he went to remove her coat from her shoulders. He looked her up and down, the tight black jump suit she was in was driving him crazy.

She grinned, and then shivered slightly.

“Cold?” He asked, frowning.

“A little, don’t wanna sit in my coat though.”

“Do you want me to nip up to the room, grab your cardigan?”

“Would you?” She asked, even though she knew perfectly well he would.

“Course.” He dropped a kiss to her cheek “You get the drinks in, be right back.”

She headed over to the bar. The bartender, Will, was the same one who had been on before so he greeted her with a smile.

“Mrs Rogers. How was your meal?”

“Fantastic thank you.” She smiled. “Can I get two Bourbon’s please? I’ll leave it to your choice, I’ll be back in a second, just need to nip to the bathroom.”

She excused herself and once she’d finally had the pee she’d been dying for since they left the restaurant, she set about touching up her make-up, smiling to herself. She’d deliberately picked this jumpsuit as she knew it got Steve’s blood pumping. It was a simple, plain black one with a V-neck line, but it was tight. Teamed with a thin red patent leather belt, matching Jimmy-Choos and purse all set off by the bright red lipstick she was sporting, she knew she looked good. Not that Steve had much room to talk, she could happily perve on him in the dark pants he was wearing, teamed with a tweed blazer and that damned blue shirt, his collar left open. Frankly, he looked good enough to eat, which she was planning on doing later.

She headed back into the bar and spotted Steve perched on one of the stools, blinking as she saw he’d changed into a simple brown, long sleeved tee, but then again he always did like to get out of his dress shirts as soon as they got home usually, so she wasn’t that surprised.

“Hey, Handsome. You changed.” She slipped her arms round him from the back. He felt different, he was softer than Steve was. He smelt different, there was a really heavy woody scent to his aftershave whereas Steve’s preferred Hugo Boss was a lot lighter and she realised with horror that Steve hadn’t changed his outfit at all.

This wasn’t Steve.

When the man spun to face her, Katie had to do a double take as the likeness was indeed uncanny at first glance, but as she blinked and looked at him she noticed subtle differences. His eyes were cold and calculating, his jaw line wasn’t quite as sharp as Steve’s and the smirk he wore on his face was nothing like the cheeky one Steve would sport. It was almost a sneer which spread across his face, every feature laced with disdain.

“What the fuck?” The man glared at her as Katie stepped back, holding her hands up in apology.

“I’m sorry, genuine case of mistaken identity,” she said, taking him in. His shirt was the wrong colour too, only she hadn’t been able to see that from the back.

“Yeah well if you’re touting for business I already got some today so get lost.” The man drawled in his light, Boston accent. “Like I just said I thought you were…hang on…” Katie frowned as his words registered “You already got some?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” He looked her up and down, arching a brow.

“You think I’m a hooker?” Katie snorted.

“Pretty high end one though, I’ll give you that.” The man’s voice was now amused, as he nodded towards her chest.

“I’m not a hooker.” Katie shook her head, laughing in disbelief.

“Oh, sorry. Do you prefer the term escort?”

She rolled her eyes, flashing her left hand at him. “I’m married, this was a genuine mistake….”

She moved away from him to the side, nodding at Will who slid the check over for her to sign to charge the drinks to their room.

Ransom observed her for a moment, fighting the smirk that was threatening to break across his face. After another row with his stupid Libtard cousin and his mother who had been at his Grandfather’s house before, he’d come out with the sole intention of getting laid and then so drunk he could hardly remember his name. After a visit to one of his usual fuck pieces, he’d achieved the first part, now he was concentrating on the second. He’d been initially irritated by this woman’s interruption, but now she was getting sassy back, and he wasn’t about to let it drop. He could tell she had money,that much was clear to see. The way she talked, held herself, was dressed. Whilst she wasn’t a hooker as he had originally thought (although to be fair to her, she was pretty hot, he’d consider fucking her if the opportunity arose), she was probably living off some seventy odd year old rich banker husband. Huh, maybe she wanted a fuck after all…frustrated little trophy wife.  

“So, tell me. Does your husband know you’re here trying to tap me up?” He looked at her.

“You know, if I was trying to errr…tap you up, you wouldn’t be able to afford me” She shot back, signing her name on the cheque with a flourish.

“Try me.” Ransom smirked, making a show of looking her up and down. “How much for that ass?” “I’ll kick yours for free you self-entitled dick.” She glared at him before she slid the signed paper and pen back to the bartender.

Ransom gave a bark of a laugh “I’ll pass thanks.”

Katie snorted and glanced sideways at look at him, scarlet red lips pursed as she eyed him over her glass of bourbon. “Good decision, because I’ve dropped bigger men than you for fun.” “Sure you have, Dollface” Ransom quirked an eyebrow, elbow leaning on the bar, angling his body towards her. She kept hers facing forwards, arms resting on the bar top, her head shaking slightly.

“You have no fucking idea who I am do you?” Katie shook her head, not looking at the prick stood next to her.  She hated using that line, but, well, when the occasion arose to get one over on a weasely little shit like this, she wasn’t going to pass it up.

“Why should I?” He snorted “I don’t know all the little bitches in Boston.”

Katie felt her mouth drop open and she was about to retaliate when Steve gently appeared by her side, dropping her cardigan over her shoulders.

Ransom recognised him straight away. He’d had it quite often, been told he looked similar to Captain America. So this meant the woman he’d been baiting for the last five minutes was his wife, Katie Rogers, sister of Billionaire Tony Stark, the Avenger, Supernova.

He’d called Supernova a hooker.

Ransom looked into his glass of scotch, turning away back to the bar, snorting with laughter.

“Sorry baby, Sam called and…” Steve stopped, frowning at the look on Katie’s face. “You okay?”

“Fine.” She looked up at him, smiling and nodding towards a cosy sofa over at the other side of the bar. “You wanna go sit down over there?”

“Sure.” He nodded, picking up his glass of bourbon, he held out his free hand for her and she jumped down off the stool.

“I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure.” She snarked to the man next to her “But I don’t lie so…”

Steve frowned, wondering what had gone down whilst he’d been away. He glanced at his wife and then turned to look at the guy that was sat on the stool next to where Katie had been to see if he recognised him and did a double take. He recognised him alright, but only because he looked incredibly like him. Granted, there were a few subtle differences, but the resemblance was uncanny, to the point that at a first glance in the street, you could be fooled.

“Pal, you should keep that bitch on a leash.” Ransom spoke, his eyebrows raising and in front of him Steve stiffened.

“What did you just say?” He frowned, pulling himself up to full height.

“Seriously, man. You save the world from Nazi’s, get frozen for seventy years and then end up marrying that.” Ransom smirked, enjoying baiting the Captain “I’d ask ‘em to put you back under…”

Steve’s nostrils flared and he felt his neck getting warmer. “Don’t you dare talk about my wife like that.”

“Steve, leave it, come on.” Katie gently placed her palm on Steve’s chest. “The guy’s a complete ass hole. If brains were dynamite I doubt he’d have enough to blow his head off.”

“Well if we’re talking about blowing,” Ransom looked Katie up and down before locking onto her eyes. “You up for the job?

Katie let out a bark of a laugh, her hand still on Steve’s chest which was positively humming with anger as she turned to face Ransom, contempt etched across every single inch of her face.

“Go jerk yourself off and wipe it on a curtain like your father should have done with you.”

“I’d rather wipe it in your hair.” came the quip back.

And that was it. That was the point that Steve Rogers snapped.

There was a loud smash, the glass he was holding shattered in his grip as his fist contracted in pure anger. Katie barely had time to realise what had happened before he had stepped forward and grabbed Ransom by the front of his shirt, lifting him with ease, slamming him on the bar.

“Steve!” Katie pulled on his arm. “Baby, he really isn’t worth it, let go!”

“Captain Rogers!” Will behind the bar was desperately trying to talk him down as well “Please, don’t make me call security.”

Security! Steve wanted to snort. Like that would do any good.

“Soldier, come on.” Katie tried again, pleading to his reasonable side. “Look, we’ve had such a nice night. Don’t let him ruin it.”

Steve let out a deep breath, he wanted nothing more than to knock the asshole’s teeth down his throat, but he felt Katie’s touch on his arm and her pleading tone and he let go, shoving the man hard.

“I would tell you to apologise.” Steve snarled stepping back. His voice was steely, eyes carrying none of their usual warmth.“But I suspect it’s pointless”

“Yup.” Ransom nodded “Totally pointless.”

“Like your existence.” Katie mumbled, Ransom snorting in response. “Look, Drysdale, my manager’s told you before.” Will said, his voice laced with vexation as he shuffled from behind the bar to sweep up the glass that Steve had shattered. “Any more trouble and you’re gonna be banned.”

Ransom’s nostrils flashed angrily as he looked at the man “’I’m gonna be banned? Eat shit! He’s the one that just attacked me! He ripped my shirt!” he gestured down to where Steve had grabbed him, two tears either side of the buttons of his shirt “This is a Fendi!”

“Ransom, just shut up and apologise.” Will pressed again. “Or you’re gonna have to leave.”

“Fuck this, I was going anyway.” Ransom snarled, knocking back his drink. He stood up and pulled on a long, tan coloured camel coat before he glared at Steve then Katie “Really bad smell in here.”

Katie rolled her eyes, deciding to let him have that childish one without any fuss. But Steve didn’t.

“Close the door on your way out.”  He watched as the man stopped, took a deep breath before angrily flinging the door open, his coat flapping behind him. There was a moment’s pause before it slammed shut. 

“Sorry.” Steve turned, apologising to Will. 

“He’s a dirt bag and a cretin.” Will shrugged, as he waved the apology off. “No redeeming features whatsoever. Well, none that I’ve seen and trust me, I’ve seen him a hell of a lot.”

“Is your hand okay?” Katie asked Steve gently. She turned his right hand over to see that there were no cuts at all from the glass, which was good.

“Yeah, fine, don’t worry.” Steve looked at her, frowning. “Honey, what on Earth just happened?” He asked her softly, as she took a deep breath, blowing it out of her mouth.

“I went to the bathroom and when I came back, well, I thought he was you from behind so gave him a hug.” She shook her head “Soon as I touched him I realised I was very, very wrong. I tried to apologise and he called me a hooker.”

“A hooker?” Steve repeated, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so I told him even if I was he wouldn’t be able to afford me.”

At that Will, who had been busy pouring them both another drink, laughed as he slid two short tumblers of bourbon back over to them.  “He won’t have liked that at all.”

Steve nodded his thanks to the man as Katie looked at him. “How come?” She asked.

“Well, simply put, his family one way or another are loaded, and Ransom likes to be the flash bastard if you get what I mean.”

“What do his family do?” Katie asked, “I’ve never even heard of the Drysdales.”

“His mother and father run a real Estate Company.”  Will shrugged, “A local one round Massachusetts, but you’ll have heard of his grandfather, or if you haven’t you’ve been living under a rock for the last twenty years.” “Who?” she asked.

“Harlan Thrombey, the crime fiction author.” Will replied, and Katie felt the colour drain from her face. She turned to look at Steve whose eyes had also widened, and she gave a groan.

“Shit.”

**** Part 2

**Original Posting**

[violetwolfraven]

Hi uhh i request some ikeshot:D with “well ,   hello  sleeping  beauty .   you  fell  asleep  on  me ..” and “i’m  sorry  to  wake  you  up ,   but  i  really  need  someone  to  talk  to .” take your time btw. I know how hard it is to write when mental illness and school is constantly kicking your butt. Love you lots bro!!

Ily too Rai! Let’s do some soft canon era bois, taking place a little over a year after the strike. I haven’t written anything from Hotshot’s perspective yet, so I’ll try that for this!

Tw: non-graphic stab wound, teenagers mentioning sex the way teenagers do, implied period-typical homophobia.

...

Hotshot wasn’t the kind of idealistic kid to believe in magic, or fairytales. He knew ‘happily ever after’ didn’t exist in real life and pretending these things ever really happened was just setting yourself up for disappointment.

But looking at the boy dozing on his chest might make him think twice.

And that scared the hell out of him.

Ike had entered his life by mistake and stayed there out of spite, and Hotshot didn’t by any means want him gone, but it did scare him how much that Manhattan boy had changed things.

Before, he’d always had this anger burning at his insides, always ready to jump out and hurt someone. More than once, it had hurt someone. Hotshot had hurt a lot of people. Spot had even had to stop him from killing someone once, and even after the lecture on how killing was never worth it if you can avoid it, never, it hadn’t really sunk in how the other Brooklyn kids were prone to violence, too, but not as much as him.

He’d never known how to explain that if he didn’t hurt other people, the hurt inside him never stopped even for a second. Fights were the only kind of distraction that worked, and consciously Hotshot had known how that mentality wasn’t sustainable, but been too dependent on it to stop.

But Ike... that annoying little shit was a different kind of fight, in some ways. He was probably the only one besides Spot that wasn’t even a little scared of Hotshot, and never had been. He liked to start stupid little arguments for no reason and altogether give Hotshot grief, but he’d back off if a topic was too sensitive. Talking to him relieved pressure, somehow. Gave that burning feeling somewhere to escape, but without hurting anyone.

Hotshot ended up in fights a lot less lately. The Littles were less wary about sneaking up on him. In general, his relationships with his friends were... better might be the wrong word, because things weren’t bad before, but the others were definitely less careful around him now, no longer seeming afraid he’d soak them for something stupid.

The fact that all that was because of Ike, it was... a little daunting. There was something magic about that. There was something magic about him.

It had hit Hotshot like a steam engine to the chest months ago that he was pretty sure he was in love with this boy, but he felt it in moments like this. The kind of softness of just taking advantage of an empty Lodging House to just share warmth and be close to one another.

The kind of softness that Hotshot had never experienced before, because he’d never really experienced love before.

It scared him a little that he didn’t know what love felt like, but he’d been calling what he felt for Ike ‘love’ in his head because it felt like what the other kids said love was like on the rare occasion they talked about that stuff.

He and Ike had never talked about it, and...

And Hotshot felt a sudden jolt of panic at how they probably should, because of why they even were in the Lodging House alone together today.

It was because Brooklyn had (of course) gotten in a territory dispute, and they’d had a rumble over it last night, and even though the deal had been that neither side would use weapons, Hotshot had somehow gotten stabbed in the side. No one would fess up, so neither side was sure by who.

The wound wasn’t especially deep, but it had bled a lot. It was bad enough that Spot had made Joey watch all the Littles to make sure none of them came in and saw it. If he didn’t know any better, Hotshot could have sworn their fearless leader was actually, legitimately scared for him.

He was fine now, they were pretty sure. Or, fine enough that he wasn’t bleeding anymore and it only hurt a little if he didn’t move too much.

But according to Vince’s grim statement earlier, all the older kids had thought he was going to die that night.

Which was why Spot had sent someone over to get Ike, knowing Hotshot would listen and actually stay in bed if it was him asking.

They were in the king’s private room, though Hotshot wasn’t sure how Spot had known the privacy might be a safe bet. He and Ike definitely hung out a lot, kind of flirted, cuddled sometimes, and whenever the Manhattan boy slept over, he slept in Hotshot’s bed, but they’d never actually done anything. They’d never had a talk about what they were, let alone Hotshot having told Spot about whatever it was.

That was what was making him so anxious now; the thought that they’d never talked about it. It had taken him until now to process the fact that he’d almost died last night, and it was really freaking him out that that had almost happened before...

Well, before a lot of things. Hotshot was only 15. There was shit he wanted to do. But the one he was thinking about right now was how he really needed to ask Ike exactly what their relationship was.

He felt warm and looked peaceful, where he was curled up against Hotshot’s left side to avoid the stab wound in his right. His head on his chest, making sure he stayed down and didn’t try to go selling.

As much as it pained him to disturb the peace on Ike’s face, Hotshot shook him awake.

He stirred immediately, and that sleepy expression caused a bloom of warmth in Hotshot’s heart.

“What? What happened?”

“Well, hello, sleeping beauty,” he joked, unable to stop himself from smiling, “You fell asleep on me. Welcome back to the land of the conscious.”

“Right,” Ike propped himself up with his elbow, “We was talkin’ ‘bout... what were we talkin’ ‘bout again? How long was I out?”

“A while.”

“Shit. You weren’t too bored without me to talk to, were ya?”

“Nah, I was fine,” Hotshot assured him, “I can survive a couple hours without ya, believe it or not.”

Ike chuckled, “Coulda fooled me.”

His voice wasn’t quite light as his fingers brushed along the bandage over Hotshot’s stab wound.

Now or never. He needed to get up the courage to bring this up right now or he’d end up waiting God knew how long.

“I’m sorry to wake you up,” Hotshot blurted, “But I really need someone to talk to. I need to talk to you. You specifically.”

Ike looked slightly worried, but nodded, “Okay, what is it?”

Do it now. Just ask him. Stop stalling.

“What am I to you?” he asked cautiously, “Like, as in with you and me. What are we?”

Ike clearly hadn’t been expecting that question, because he froze up for a second before trying to fake nonchalance.

He shrugged, “What do you wanna be?”

This was the kind of fight Hotshot wasn’t good at. The kind where both of them were dancing around what they actually wanted to say, fighting only not to be hurt.

Screw it. He just needed to say it.

“Lovers?” he internally groaned at how uncertain it sounded, “Sweethearts. Dammit—whatever word ya wanna use, I... I like you a lot, Ike. I wanna be with you.”

“Yeah... it feels weird, callin’ it either of those things,” Ike admitted, “But I want... that, too. The whole bein’ together thing. You.”

He was blushing, and he looked like something out of a fairytale in the sunlight from the window above them.

He was definitely making Hotshot think twice about not believing in magic.

“Uh, good,” he stammered, realizing he should probably stop staring and say something, “Good to know we want the same thing. I just asked cause we ain’t ever talked ‘bout what we are before and I figured it was better to know. ‘Specially since I think Spot thinks we’re fucking.”

Ike laughed nervously, “I think Race thinks that, too. He gives me weird looks when we run into each other over here. But yeah, you’re right. It’s better to know.”

He laid back down, putting his head back on Hotshot’s chest.

Hotshot kind of hoped he couldn’t hear how it made his heart race.

“Finch says he got his name cause he shot a live finch out of his slingshot once. I don’t believe him.”

Hotshot laughed aloud, and tried not to wince too much at how his stab wound twinged.

“I heard ‘bout that. It’s actually true. Spot keeps tabs on all the newsies worth knowin’ ‘bout, and Finch is one of the few of you Manhattan boys that might actually be a threat in a fight.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lyin’.”

“Not about Spot knowin’ shit ‘bout everybody, but there’s no way Finch shot a fuckin’ bird out of his slingshot.”

“I’m tellin’ ya he did.”

“Did not.”

Hotshot grinned. This kind of petty, pointless argument to pass the time was part of why he was pretty sure he loved this boy.

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

[silver-embersss]

Broken Horns and Broken Hearts Chapter 9

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

“Tommy!”

“The fuck you want?!”

The drowsy teen rubbed his eyes as someone dragged him out of his rickety bed, into the ravine proper. He wasn’t wearing pyjamas, since he ran away with only the clothes on his back and an inventory full of junk, so he just slept in the same muddy clothes.

“Tommy, we have to prepare!”

“Prepare for wha- Oh. The festival. It’s like, the middle of the night though!”

Wilbur grinned at him, but the manic smile died when he didn’t smile back.

“Will-”

The Ex-President grabbed his shoulders in an iron grip.

“What, is the famous TommyInnit not gonna fight on our side tomorrow?”

He tried to pull away, but Wilbur didn’t let go.

“No, I know what it is.

“You’re scared.”

Tommy shook his head.

“No, Will-”

“TommyInnit you’re scared! I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice- you’re terrified! And you’re terrified of people seeing through you, to the coward you are!”

“Wilbur come on, I thought we talked about this-”

His voice trembled, and he let out a shaky breath.

Wilbur leaned down so that his face was level with Tommy’s, and the teen had to stare right into his maniacal expression.

“Why not be the bad guys Tommy? Let’s blow this shit to smithereens!”

“Wilbur, this isn’t the way-”

He’d tried, over and over again, to dissuade his brother, pull him back from the cliff from which he was poised to jump. It never worked.

The arsonist just turned away from him with a wild laugh.

“Coward.”

Techno just watched, pretending he couldn’t see the tears that ran down his little brother’s face as he prepared for war.

---------------------

[TW FOR BLOOD+GORE]

When he came back to himself, Tubbo couldn’t help but scream.

What have I done?!

Blood dripped down the handle of his axe, and he dropped it with a small cry. Fundy knelt in front of him, a large gash across his chest spraying blood. The fox looked up at him, terrified, breath hitching and half of his face bruising rapidly.

“F-Fundy, Oh god-”

His friend’s expression warred between fear and hatred as Tubbo stumbled back. Caught between trying to help Fundy or run away, the teen took another step back, slamming into someone behind him.

“Tubbo, what- Fundy!”

Niki pushed past him to tend to the shapeshifter. She stared fearfully at him, eyes darting between the blood on his hands and his horns, glinting in the moonlight. Tubbo tried to plead with them both.

God, what happened?!

“Niki, please-”

“You- I don’t- Tubbo, how could you?!”

Niki’s eyes filled with tears as she put herself protectively between him and Fundy.

Tubbo just stared, his own eyes stinging.

“I- I’m s-sorry…”

He whispered, throat hoarse.

What’s happening to me?!

With no options left, Tubbo turned and sprinted away, bloodstained shirt flapping behind him and tears whipped away by the wind.

-------------

Tubbo crashed through the undergrowth as he ran, tree trunks whizzing past him, dark shadows that loomed above his head like disapproving gods. Often, he stumbled, grazing his palms on the coarse dirt, but still the teen threw himself forward, sobs tearing themselves from his throat. The bloodied bandages he’d wrapped around the base of his horns were coming loose, and the end of one briefly touched his face before he brushed it away.

A bramble ripped through his thin dress shirt, scoring a gash across his arm. Another caught on one of his horns, leaving a thin scratch along the dark surface. The teen pushed through the thorns, not noticing the prickly vine curled around his ankle until it yanked him backward. Pain shot up his leg, and Tubbo faceplanted into the dewy grass with a raw sob. He curled up where he lay, ignoring the throbbing of his newly-sprained ankle, tears pooling on the earth beneath him.

“Schlatt?!”

Tubbo flinched at the sound of his best friend’s voice. He shifted, covering his face with his hands, but froze when he heard the sound of steel on leather.

“Don’t fuckin’ move! What the fuck are you doing here?!”

The teen bit his lip hard, knowing what was about to happen and beginning to tremble. Tommy was going to kill him, thinking he was Schlatt, and even after he saw his face he’d know he deserved it… What happened next was unexpected, though.

“Y-You’re hurt…?” His voice was strangely soft.

Tommy’s sword stayed leveled at his head, but the teen took a step closer, brow furrowing.

“Wait…”

Tubbo stopped breathing for a second.

So did Tommy.

“You’re not Schlatt!”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck- Every nerve in Tubbo’s body told him to run, cry, punch Tommy in the face and pretend this had never happened-

Too late.

Plus, he was tired of hiding.

He raised his tear-stained face from the ground, and sat up.

“T-Tommy…”

“TUBBO!”

To his surprise, instead of running him through like a kebab, Tommy dropped his sword and seized Tubbo in a tight hug, grinning like crazy. Then Tubbo saw the inevitable falling of that joyous smile as his friend remembered why he’d thought it was Schlatt in the first place. He began to explain, but Tommy cut him off.

“Tommy, I-”

“-We gotta get you inside, Big T! It’s fuckin’ freezing out here!”

The teen picked up his sword and sliced through the brambles wound around his ankle, before hoisting Tubbo’s uninjured arm around his shoulders to take the weight off of the sprain. It only took a minute to get to the small hillside where the entrance was concealed, but now they faced the challenge of getting Tubbo down the narrow, winding stairs to the ravine. Luckily, Techno was on guard, and he didn’t ask questions, just unceremoniously slinging the teen over his shoulder and carrying him down in silence.

Tommy whispered something to the piglin before grabbing bandages and binding Tubbo’s ankle, neither of them speaking the whole time. He almost died from the tension, but finally it was done, and Tommy flopped down on the stone floor next to his friend.

“So…”

He said eventually.

“What’s with the fuckin’ Schlatt cosplay then?”

Tubbo couldn’t help himself.

He burst out laughing, and after a moment Tommy joined him.

“Schlatt… c-cosplay?!”

He giggled, and Tommy elbowed him hard.

“Sh-Shut... up!”

Suddenly, they both sobered, meeting each other’s eyes. Tubbo was the first to look away.

“You don’t have to-”

Tommy started to reassure him, but Tubbo cut him off with a gesture. He looked down at his hands in his lap, fiddling with the torn fabric of his shirt.

“I… Schlatt, he…

“Schlatt’s my dad. He’s- I have his horns.”

A minute passed in silence, before Tommy enfolded his friend in a side hug. The teen froze in surprise.

“But… don’t you hate me?”

“What- What are you on about? Why would I hate you?”

“You don’t think I’m on his side?”

“Are you?”

Tommy smirked.

“No! I mean…”

He bit his lip, avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t know.”

He whispered.

His friend cocked his head to the side, confused.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Tubbo didn’t answer for a moment, trying to think of what to say. In the end, he just blurted it out without thinking.

“I- I keep being horrible to people and I don’t remember it and I feel like I’m copying Schlatt and I imprisoned Niki and I hurt Fundy, I- I- I stabbed him, and there was so much blood but I don’t even remember how I got there but he- he could b-be d-dead and and I- I-”

His words broke down into sobs and tears burst forth anew. Tommy didn’t let go of him, just stared up at the high ceiling of the ravine. Eventually, he spoke.

“I mean, he was a bit of an arsehole anyway. I could say I’m upset, but that would be lying.”

Shocked for the second time at Tommy’s reaction, Tubbo just stared open-mouthed at his friend.

“You-”

“Tubso, you really think I’m gonna stop being friends with you just because you fuckin’ stabbed someone?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Then you’re a fuckin’ dumbass, clearly.”

“hEy-”

Tommy burst out laughing at the voice crack, and said cackling was contagious. Once again, they both dissolved into hysteria, the laughter echoing off of the stone walls.

“D’you wanna stay here tonight?” Tommy asked, with a chuckle that turned into jaw-cracking yawn.

“Wilbur said we were supposed to be preparing for tomorrow - well, later today, technically - but I could kill for some shut-eye.”

The teen leant back against a double chest, and Tubbo copied him.

“Well, I’m not exactly sure I could go back anyway… Niki-”

“Hey, it’s cool! So, Techno made some stew the other day and I don’t know about you but I am starving, wanna see if there’s some left?”

Without waiting for an answer, Tommy hooked Tubbo’s arm around his shoulders again, hoisting him up. Tubbo took a moment to consider, then frowned. He actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen food other than the cookies he sometimes brought to Schlatt with his coffee.

It turned out that there was stew left, and after heating it up by a precarious system of balancing bowls over a campfire and gobbling it down in three seconds flat as teenagers are wont to do, the two dragged blankets and pillows out to the main area. It was warmer there due to the fires, and there was more space than Tommy’s alcove - enough room for them to spread out, anyway. Tubbo was the king of taking up more space that should be physically possible for someone of his size, whereas Tommy tended to almost shrink in his sleep, so most of the time it worked out.

Tubbo was about to doze off when he remembered about Tommy’s frequent nightmares. Ever since Eret’s betrayal he’d wake up drenched in sweat, having re-lived the moment in his sleep, needing to make sure that neither of them were dead. He shivered at the thought of Tommy down in this dark ravine all alone, with both of his brothers off somewhere else. For all the teen’s bluster, Tubbo knew he feared being alone more than anything, and it worried him - but he seemed fine, right?

Right.