#just stop pretending like i dont exist ykwim

[toziers]

had a bad dream and now im in a bad mood. hate how that accidental cranial self-sabotage works

[yonpote]

no that’s the thing you’re so right ab rpf because like it’s not that people don’t find it weird but it has also a) existed for SO long and b) is actually sometimes socially acceptable depending on who is doing it and about whom. like many old wives tales or stories based on kings of past were all written by people who were far removed from the subjects of their story they just wrote what they believed to be true or interesting ab those people - it wasn’t like hard hitting fact reporting. they’re “stories” for a reason yknow? and i totally get that in the modern age the fact that people can be confronted by rpf is what actually makes people so upset about it - because the degrees of separation are far lesser - but the act itself isn’t more or less strange than it ever was. it’s totally based on like how close the shipping is to the people being shipped. like the question is can their relationship actually be affected by it? even i went through this on a small scale when i was 11 and my best friend’s new guy friends started teasing him about how much time he always spent with me and saying we liked each other and it made us super uncomfortable to the point that we kinda stopped being friends! which sucked! or like when moms want their kids to end up together so they constantly talk about how they’re going to be sisters in law one day when their kids get together and put on that pressure. those circumstances are not okay bc it’s like crossing clear boundaries by trying to tell people directly what their relationship to each other should be. but when it’s like a niche little community that’s (hopefully) minding their business removed from the person they’re making rpf about it’s like entirely a non-issue in my opinion. like the very existence of rps and rpf are kinda natural human inclinations i think. okay rant over lmao sorry i rambled

youre absolutely right! like personally i can't really get into any other rpf because like, it HAS hurt online creators / modern celebs in and it would be foolish to act like it doesn't have that power ykwim? but bc dnp have stated that they're fine with it and have even embraced it on some level, and especially because we all have much better established boundaries (as in both dnp AND we as an audience have set boundaries wrt fan content), and because dnp are actually queer, i do feel a lot better about rpfing them lol. but that's not to say rpfers that don't have explicit consent from creators are evil like dont worry yall i still believe in "rpf is fine!" i think it really is about having the understanding that rpf is meant to be separate from the real people being written about. i mean if you really think about it, it's not like it was all fic writers themselves tweeting at dnp to read their smut. it was people who saw this insane crack fic about dnp having gory bloody sex involving a hamster, and being like "omg this shit is so weird and gross and horrible dan and phil have to see it and react to it." (but that fic is maybe a bad example because it was MEANT to be shocking and horrible and not like. an earnest exploration of a taboo sexual experience or some shit.)

like, rpf's modern reputation is BECAUSE the primary fics that have garnered any attention are the ones that are meant to be shocking and weird and freak people out. and there's exceptions to everything i say and i wasn't involved in 2012-2016 phandom culture so i'm sure there were plenty of people being like hey dnp read my relatively wholesome 20k fluff smut fic that makes references to that video that you want everyone to pretend doesnt exist, but just based on being friends with a lot of people who were involved in the phandom at that time, that definitely was not the case with every or even most fic authora or fanartists.

i mean, one of the reasons dnp became the tag and acronym people used was to separate the community from the phan tag because people knew that dnp were well aware of that tag. and now they know about dnp so it's kind of a moot point, but i think it's important to establish that, while we are better at respecting their boundaries nowadays, THEY also respect OUR boundaries. they don't go diving into tags intentionally unless they are making content about it, and even then it is an opt-in process where WE can send them stuff that we do want them to see! and that's an extremely important part of this audience-creator relationship that we do have this mutual respect of each other, and mutual understanding of bants toward each other (they can mock us for being giddy about them touching, but we can also be like "damn yall are really obsessed with touching each other thats crazy...." and there's, for the most part, an understanding that we're just teasing and being silly like it's cute that they touch and they like being close but we can joke about it)

[bumbleklee]

hi bea.. am i a horrible person if i keep accidentally using the wrong pronouns on my friend.. 😭 well this is because: at the start of our friendship, they would go bye she/her and they/them pronouns, but now, they would only go bye they/them.. im so used to calling them a her i forget that they actually go by they!! dont worry tho i always correct myself and apologize but i just feel so bad ykwim. how do i like stop 🙄, anyways thank u! u dont need to answer this but i would def appreciate it 😱 ily! ❤️

i don’t think you’re a bad person at all! things like that take adjustment and you’ve told me that you’re aware and are constantly correcting yourself too :) once you get the hang of it, it’ll be like second nature

the easiest way for me to adjust to pronoun or name changes is to refer to the person in my head as only their new changes. pretend like the old name/old pronouns don’t even exist anymore and only think about them with their news ones! you got this 👐