#just started 911 lone star not ready for tk to find out owens sick

[kurthorton-moving]

me getting emotional 5 seconds into a show and not being sure if its bc of the show or bc i have become attached to a mutual w a muse from the show and am already thinking ab their muses reaction to this

[braveclxrke]

911 Lone Star fic - 

TK struggles the cope with the aftermath of being shot; inner demons he thought he left behind in New York follow him to his new life.

Read all the chapters on Ao3 (chapter 1 below)

The pale light crept in from the window, filling the apartment with a warm glow. Carlos carefully rolled over in the bed, over the last weeks he’d gotten used to moving cautiously in the bed, not wanting to knock TK. However, as he moved, he couldn’t feel a body next to him, Carlos looks up to see that TK was nowhere in the room.

“TK?” Carlos called; his voice already filled with concern. Carlos threw the sheets off his bed, walking around the apartment “TK?” If Carlos were moving, he probably wouldn’t have heard it, a small faint voice.

“I’m fine” The voice was quiet, Carlos walked towards the bathroom, trying the door handle but finding it locked.

TK stood in the bathroom, his hands bracing the sink. TK had gotten out of the shower about five minutes ago and gotten dressed for work but was still stood facing the mirror, not being able to bring himself to leave the warm comfort of the bathroom. Today was his first day back at work, he’d been off for around ten days, his dad, the doctor and even Carlos had tried to convince him to take more time off, to heal more but TK wanted to get back, he needed to. “Everything alright?” Carlos called from outside. TK had been staying at Carlos most nights, wrapped up in the arms of the man he swore was just a one-night thing.

“I’m just getting ready. I’m fine” As TK spoke his chest felt tighten like someone had tried a rope around his lung pulling it tighter at every word. TK looked down at his watch. He sighed, a ragged cough following, TK clutched his chest and leaned over the sink, using his other hand to brace himself. TK squeezed his eyes shut, the pain radiating throughout his whole body. Eventually, he pushed himself up, looking into the mirror; TK looked tried, and he felt it. He hadn’t slept probably for days, every position in bed caused his chest to ache and burn, everything hurt; movement, drinking, eating. TK felt his stomach churn and felt goosebumps rise on his skin; maybe he was getting sick, coming down with the flu. TK sighed and headed towards the bathroom door and unclicked the lock, pausing for a moment before pushing open the door. The once warm, steamy air was suddenly cold, and clear. Carlos was stood in the middle of his room, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, today was his day off, the sight of the man-caused the frigid room to feel a little warmer.

“You okay?” It seemed that was all anyone asked TK now, and his answer had never changed since he left the hospital.

“I’m fine” TK pushed a smile on his face, trying to soothe Carlos worries. From the look on his face, it wasn’t working, Carlos walked over to him, his eyes scanning his body and face, TK tried to keep the smile, but he could already feel it falling. Carlos came to a stop in front of him, after a moment or two he reached his hand up, bringing it to TK’s collar fixing a crease in it.

“You know you don’t have to do back?” Carlos didn’t make eye contact with TK, focusing on his collar. “The 126 would understand- “

“The doctor said I’m fine to go back” TK interrupted him, shifting on his feet.

“She said you could take a few weeks to heal, its barley been two weeks” Carlos finished with the collar smoothing it out. Carlos kept his hands on TK’s shoulders. He looked up at TK; his large eyes focused just on him “I know you’re feeling restless, and you want to help but…” TK kept his eyes on Carlos as the man seemed to search for the right words. Carlos moved one of his hands to cup TK’s cheek, causing TK to lean into to comfort, closing his eyes for a second. “-You’ve got to take care of yourself tiger.”

TK looked at Carlos and felt his chest tighten for another reason, and for once, he didn’t quite mind it. TK reached his hand up and placed it on top of Carlos “I will” He quietly said, a small reassuring smile on his face, Carlos matched it. TK leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Carlo’s lips, wanting to stay in the moment for longer but willing himself to pull away. After the solar flare, TK had made a lot of decisions, one of them being admitting to himself that Carlos was more than just a fling. The pair still didn’t know much about each other, but TK was enjoying getting to know the man; his favourite meal, his friends, his hobbies. The horn roared from outside, and both men looked towards the door. “I’ll see you tonight” Carlos smiled. TK gave another swift kiss to Carlos before heading out the door.

TK pulled open the front door; his father was stood outside his car, waiting for TK. His body was tense, arms over his chest, his shoulders tight, TK knew when his father was stressed, he’d seen it when his parents got divorced, when TK had gone out on his first call, his first overdose and now. Owen had made it clear that he had wanted TK to take more time off, to heal more, but TK couldn’t take it anymore, he was agitated and needed to get back to work.

“Morning,” His dad said in a cheerful voice, uncrossing his arms.

“You know I could’ve driven myself,” TK said, walking passes his farther towards the car.

“Nice to see you too son” TK could hear the sarcasm in his dad’s voice, “We agreed that if you’re going to come back, we’re going to do it on my rules okay” This time no sarcasm in his voice. TK paused for a moment before pulling open the car door, he slowly bent down to get into the car, his chest protesting the whole time. TK tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn’t quite get a handle of it, “You okay?” Owen asked, TK went to say something, but he couldn’t get the words out, like the rope around his chest had tightened around the words causing to them to become lodged in his throat “Son” TK looked over at his dad, his face was screwed up in worry. TK took a moment, making small breaths slowly until the burning passed.

“I’m fine, I’m okay” he breathed, sounding like he’d just run to the car.

There was a pause, Owen pulled his lip into a thin line. “If you need more time to-“

TK held his hands up “-I said I’m fine!” He yelled, “Can we just go please?” he muttered, with that TK turned away from his father facing out the window. There was a pause, the car hadn’t started, for a moment TK thought his dad wouldn’t leave, but then the car engine broke the silence, the car pulling out of the drive.

“So, for the first week or so I don’t want you on fire calls, the stress will be too much for your lung, even with the mask and everything” This was the other condition to coming back, one TK was still struggling with. “Other calls, we will decide case by case.”

“You mean you?” TK snapped, still staring out of the window as the scenery went past.

“Yes me, I know you TK you’ll think you’re ready and push yourself too far” It was clear TK’s attitude was starting to grate on his dad, he just wanted to keep his son safe and currently his son was being a dick. “Everyone is excited to see you, it’s all the 126 has spoken about all week, buttercup has missed you the most, won’t get off your bed” TK wanted to be excited, want to be eager to see the team again. Still, it just wasn’t there, and his mind was preoccupied, it had been since he left the hospital. TK reached into his pocket and pulled his headphones out, plugging them into his phone, trying to drown his mind in the music.

After what felt like the longest ride to the station, the pair pulled up. TK looked out of the window, the large doors to the fire station were open. TK stayed seated in the car, he thought once he saw the station, he would be excited, that all the doubt and worry in his mind would have been flushed out but as he sat there staring at what was his second home, his family he could only feel dread.

“Hey kiddo, you doin’ alright?” It was then that TK noticed his dad had gotten out of the car, walked around to TK side and was now crouched next to him, the car door open. “-And before you say ‘you’re fine’ you’re my kid, I know when you’re not okay” TK finally looked over at his dad, he looked exhausted, not only was he dealing with cancer, but now he had to take care of his son; it was meant to be the other way around. TK and his dad had always been close, talked about pretty much anything, and everything and his dad had always understood.

TK once again pushed a smile onto his face, turning to face his dad “Uhh just-just a little nervous to get back to work that’s all.”

His father reached up and cupped his sons face. “And that’s okay” His dad gave him one of his signature smiles before standing up and turning to face the station. TK followed suit, his hands nervously hanging at his side. As they turned the corner into the station, the team were cleaning the truck, chatting amongst themselves. After a moment the group turned around, hearing TK and Owen walking in.

Judd was the first to walk towards him, a subtle smile on his face “Hey kid” He said, his voice more quiet than usual. Judd pulled TK into the careful hug like he was holding a fragile bird.

As they pulled away, Paul came forward, shaking his head.

“Good to have you back kid hasn’t been the same without” With that Paul also pulled TK into a hug, being even more careful than Jud, giving his shoulder a squeeze as they parted

Before TK could respond, Marjan reached up for a hug, a soft smile on her face. Behind her was Mateo. “So, does this make you the probie now” Mateo gave TK a broad smile.

TK gave a small laugh, it is all his chest could conjurer. “Afraid not  probie ” TK joked, pulling the kid into a hug. As TK pulled away, he heard several little footsteps coming into the room, and then a loud bark.

“Buttercup!” TK beamed, the large dog bound towards the boy, stopping at his feet while wagging his tail. It had only been about two weeks since he’d seen Buttercup, but damn, he missed that dog. TK quickly bent down and hugged the dog, petting his head while Buttercup rapidly licked his face.

“Think we know who TK’s missed the most” Judd joked. After petting Buttercup and tussling the dog’s hair, TK quickly got up again and was confronted with a sharp pain in his chest, causing him to stumble back slightly.

“TK?” His dad panicked, grabbing onto his arm, TK clasped his eyes shut tight, taking slow, steady breaths.

“Is-is he okay?” TK heard Mateo spoke, after a moment, TK opened his eyes to see all the excited faces turned to fear and worry.

“I’m fine, I’ m-I’m okay” TK tried to reassure them, but none of the worried faces changed “I just stood up too quick, Buttercup got me all excited” TK tried to joke, he saw some of the worries disappear, but it still lingered.

“Alright alright, time to get back to work” His dad called, the group gave TK a finale smile, a few shoulders squeezes and light pats on the back. TK headed towards the rooms, placing his stuff in his locker, changing into a comfortable work shirt and hanging his shirt on the hook before going back to the bedroom. The room was empty, everyone off doing work. TK slowly walked over to his bed, sitting down carefully. TK took a deep breath, squinting as his chest ached. TK’s head hung a little lower, his eyes feeling heavy.

TK sat on the edge of his bed, grey joggers with a top, TK bounced his foot up and down, he just wanted to get out of this place, having been confined to a bed for a week. “So, your X-rays have come back clear, it seems the lung isn’t deflating and is healing quite nicely, so I feel happy discharging you from the hospital” TK felt a rush of relief, finally. He felt his dad reach over and pat his shoulder, a smile on his as well. “However, it’s going to be around six weeks until your lung is 100% back to normal so I recommend taking it easy, especially with your job, but if you’re careful you could be back to work in 2 weeks if the work is light” TK nodded along to what she was saying. Still, if he was honest he wasn’t listening after he heard the words ‘he can go home’ TK was just thinking about leaving.

“Thank you, doctor; we appreciate it” TK turned to his dad who for the first time in a while had a genuine smile on his face, his eyes full of appreciation.  

“No problems” The doctor smiled back “So before you are discharged, you need to pick up some medicine, you need some pain relief.”

All the excitement TK had felt had deflated “Opioids?” his voice had lost all its confidence.

The doctor gave the pair a strange look. “Yeah, I’m going to prescribe you- “

“I can’t take opioids” TK stuttered, shaking his head.

The confusion the doctor had only increased “I wasn’t aware of any allergies- “

“I can’t take those drugs” TK continued, not giving the doctor any more information.

“Sir you have to understand your wound will heal, but due to the seriousness of it, it will be excruciating-“

“I’ll be fine okay” TK assured her, he had to be.

Owen stepped forward, giving the doctor a small smile. “Doc, could you give us a minute please” The doctor paused before giving a slight nod and leaving the room. “TK…”

TK looks down at the ground, shaking his head. “Dad I know what you’re going to say but…” Tk looked up at his dad, trying to make him understand “I’m not talking those pills okay I’ve already relapsed with all the morphine they’ve given me- “

Owen stepped forward, giving his son a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. “TK that isn’t a relapse, you were shot okay. You need pain med.”

“Yeah, so I’ll get something over the counter okay?” TK could tell his father wasn’t convinced, he just wanted his son to be okay, to be able to take his medication but TK knew the truth. TK knew what would happen if he took those pills home if he started retaking them. It was just a flesh wound, it would heal, TK could get over it, but taking those pills again “Dad I…I can’t”.

TK and his father had spent a long time arguing about the pills, eventually, once Owen had heard from the doctor that technically not taking the pills won’t affect his recovery, he agreed. TK reached up with one hand and ran his hand through his hair. Since they left the hospital, TK had had a constant headache, like there was a small unbroken voice in his head fighting to get to the top. The voice was saying the same thing over and over, but TK had managed to drown it out. With working out, with Carlos and now TK was hoping that work would do the same. TK had to drown the voice out; there was no other choice.