#just some thoughts for a snowy day 🍊🍊

[growup-thatbeautiful]

ignore the shitty quality lol. just- just look at him. to me, this is young Tan. the short curls not that don’t need to be slicked back quite yet, the lack of facial hair, the start of wearing that gold necklace and the ✨rings ✨. just enough of a puppy dog look to be able to get away with shit but also able to look dangerous as fuck.

this is the Tan you originally fall in love with, the boy man who you start your life with. before he has nice suits and real gold, before he moves into a nice apartment. when the lines on his face were less pronounced and the haunted look in his eyes was less constant.

this Tan comes home crying sometimes, this Tan calls Lemon almost every night to make sure he’s okay. he might even sleep with a gun under his pillow. he doesn’t know how to take care of himself yet, and the injuries that he gets go untreated for a lot longer than they should. those nice brass knuckles he has later? don’t exist. so, when he gets a little too angry and has to punch something, he faces the consequences with broken fingers, red knuckles, and blood dripping down his hand.

though, he absolutely still uses the same language, swears like a fucking sailer. he’s always done that. and, despite his innocent look, he’s seen shit at this point. he knows how to kill, how to survive, how to escape. most people, except you and Lemon, doubt him because he looks like a kid, but they’re always proven wrong. he’s a fighter. he’s scrappy. he doesn’t let shit stand in his way.

this is the Tan that, for years, you work with and pine after, only to finally realize that he’s felt the same way about you the whole time. in my head, he’s a little older looking than this when he proposed, then movie-accurate by the time Jovie is around 4-5 y/o (when bullet proof takes place)

(just because i haven’t done this: you know tan for two years before you start dating, then you’re together for four years when he proposed, married for two before you leave with Jovie, away for two, then back together for about one before you get remarried)

anyway, this is your very first Tan, the one who’s freshly out of the system and has a bone to pick with everyone. he doesn’t trust anyone except for Lemon and you sometimes. he’s a sweetheart sometimes when he wants to be and an asshole most of the time, too afraid to let people in or let any emotions show.

just. ugh. anyone have any more thoughts??

[stringsofstarlight]

11:11

        Let’s get this feeling good thing right on track, moving out of the mind into the heart and body,    The day is going to lead me to run around getting all the loose ends tied up before hitting the road.  Yeah, the weather thing is super hilarious, especially since all of Ms. Austen’s novels have this whole obligatory British way of ““weather talk” entering into every conversation.   It really is like we are living right in the middle of some kind of novel coming to life, waking  into each new day.        Clarifying what I mentioned about driving the passes with severe winter weather.   The first thing is to get out of the mountains as early as possible to the flatlands in the valley.   It takes about 4-5 hours, depending on how much one is motivated by the circumstances😉, to get to the lower safe altitudes.   In my experience, the big trucks keep the roads clear as long as the temps stay above 30 degrees during the day, even if it is blizzard like conditions.   The other passes on the way down are under the zone for expected snowy weather.   The car also has a super low center of gravity and lots of weight from battery packs that make it a good inclement weather vehicle.   Letting you know that I have checked and thought this out, honestly didn’t consider the storm because there is always a way south, one just needs to head out to the coast for the longer, yet way more scenic drive.        Oh, my darling,  your love is the strongest magnetic force, it pulls me closer and closer to your front porch light.   The beauty that comes from your eyes, a homing beacon to cross many lifetimes, even millions of miles, if need be.    I love you always and evermore.❤️‍🔥

✨🤟🏼💋👑💖🦋🍯💘🎄☮️🥃🍊🍭

Blessings and love to the family.💐

eternal love,

james 

The bitters for an old fashioned don’t have an emoji…😍