#just some stuff on my mind about misto that i wanted to share

[rainbowratsstuff]

Here’s my little Mistoffelees fic I talked about if anyone wants to read it. 

Kittens....

Tumblebrutus was shouting at the top of his voice as he chased Electra in, what Mistoffelees assumed and hoped, was tag. Etcetera was loudly jabbering on and on to Tugger about who knows what, and Jemima was yelling to Tumble and Electra as she raced to join in their game after having a bath from her mother.

Mistoffelees watched all of this from on top of the pipe, frowning ever so slightly, his ears lowering back and one paw on his tail, stroking the smooth black fur.

What was it about kittens? Why did so many couples want to get there?....and how could they stand all that noise all day long?

But it wasn’t that Misto hated kittens, not at all. It's just....kittens were best in small doses, at least for Mistoffelees.

He loved when they all excitedly sat around him to watch his magic or volunteered to be a part of it, like his famous seven kittens out of a hat trick. He wasn’t unkind to them (at least he really hoped) and nor were they to him. There was nothing wrong with any of them.

He just could not for the life of him see the appeal in raising kittens, being with them every day. He couldn’t stand to be around that loudness that mess, that energy, that constant need for attention. Every. Single. Day.

He turned his gaze toward Tugger, still entertaining Etcetera. He was pretty good with kittens; good at playing games with them and making them feel better....things Mistoffelees sometimes struggled with in his awkwardness.

Mistoffelees lightly ran his claws over his long tail.

Did Tugger want his own kittens? Did he want the two of them to raise them together?....did Tugger wish Mistoffelees wanted kittens like he did-

Jemima had slipped and fallen in her pursuit of Tumblebrutus and Electra, landing on something hard and rough by the sound of it. Munkustrap and Demeter were instantly at her side, Tugger with Etcetera not far behind.

 Mistoffelees sat up in alarm and worry, trying to see the hurt kitten between her parents. Was she okay? She must be with all these cats to help. But then she started crying.

The crying.

Mistoffelees ears pressed flat against his head, aided by his paws holding them down. That had to be one of the worst sounds ever evolved , and Mistoffelees just couldn't handle it. It made him want to dig his claws in and tear his ears right off.

 Pouncival was...different, and Mistoffelees knew what it was like to be the different one. But Pouncival never looked like he ever saw it that way, infact he seemed completely and totally delighted by practically everything.

 She was going to be fine, right? It was okay if he...stepped back?...they didn’t need him...hopefully.

He dropped down to the dusty floor and quickly slid into the pipe he had been previously sitting on top of. He curled himself into a ball, his tail wrapping around his legs, and rocked steadily.

The crying ended soon enough. Not a long one thankfully. Mistoffelees sighed in relief but didn’t re-emerge from the pipe. His paws loosened around his legs until he let go and brought them together at his fluffy chest to fiddle and fidget with. His rocking slowed to a much gentler rhythm.

He hummed under his breath to himself, closing his eyes. Maybe he could find Tugger later. His tail was always the best at times like this.

"What are you doing in the time-out pipe, have you been naughty?"

Mistoffelees jumped at the sudden interruption, almost banging his head on the top of the pipe. But it was only Pouncival, peering in curiously at him, eyes wide. 

Mistoffelees shook his head and slowly crawled out while Pouncival continued to question him.

"Were you looking for something? Were you doing magic? Were you hiding?"

Mistoffelees shook his head again "just needed somewhere a bit quieter. Why aren’t you playing with the others?" He asked as he started grooming his now relaxed ears.

"I was searching! I found beetles!" Pouncival exclaimed as though it was best secret ever.

Mistoffelees smiled softly, but needed a moment to think of what to say to that "are...are there a lot of them?" He finally asked and Pouncival beamed.

"I'll show you!" And he raced off.

Mistoffelees blinked, watching him run before starting to walk after him. He knew you weren’t allowed to say it, but Pouncival was his favourite kitten. Not because he was any easier to handle or didn’t cry or anything of the sort.

He liked him because he often saw some of himself in him. 

 He always wanted to join in any activity anyone was doing, had a habit of trying to eat anything just to see if he can, a fascination with ducks, and able to empathise with virtually anything (even bricks).

 “Here they are!” Pouncival was pattering at the ground with his paws in excitement as he waited for Mistoffelees to join him in the weeds and dirt.

 Mistoffelees carefully padded over and crouched down to see. There were three beetles crawling around “oh, I see”

 “There were five before” Pounce pouted before perking up “they must have gone back home!”

 Mistoffelees shrugged “maybe” he agreed and watched the remaining beetles crawl. Pouncival kept smiling at him in between his studying of the bugs.  

 “Have you been doing anything else besides beetle watching?” Misto asked after almost five solid minutes of quiet observation.

 “Lots!” Pounce said automatically, hopping up from his crouched position “I’ve been practicing” he announced proudly.

 “Practicing what?”

 “Dancing like you, I try to remember it”

 “Oh, yes, you like copying me” Mistoffelees remembered and smiled softly, his eyes still on the ground; the beetles had wandered away by now.

 Pouncival crouched down and tried to crawl infront of Mistos eyesight “I do! Can you show me more!?”

 Sometimes Pouncival forgot about boundaries, mostly because he didn’t exactly have any of his own. He was always ready for a hug from pretty much anyone.

 Mistoffelees leaned away to give himself room “uh sure, I guess I can show you something” he agreed.

 -

 Mistoffelees was no teacher. Sure, he knew how to dance, it was one of his favourite things to do (and maybe he also liked to show off a little). But teaching that when he always just sort of...did it? Was oddly hard to do.

 Luckily Pouncival was happy to simply follow and copy.

 Mistoffelees just ran through some of his favourite dances for Pounce, but slightly more for himself as he got lost in his own world.

 “I keep getting dizzy” whined Pounce, who was sitting on the floor. Mistoffelees jumped from the interruption and slowed down from his last pirouette.

 “Spot your head” Misto softly replied, rather absent mindedly too.

 “Huh spots?” Pouncival cocked his head and reached up to paw at his cheek, as though trying to feel spots.

 “No no, I mean...look forward as long as you can before turning” Misto tapped a paw to his chin as he tried to think of a better way to explain it “uh...like this” he pointed to his face before going into another pirouette.

 Pounce still didn’t quite get it, and this whole explaining thing was getting a bit draining for the tux after a while. Still, Mistoffelees found it nice.

 -

 No, Mistoffelees would definitely not have any kittens of his own. But if a kitten like Pouncival ever wanted to try dancing or learn some sign language, or even try out some beetle watching. Misto wouldn’t mind joining them.

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

My Tumblr Year In Review Thing, But There Were Technical Difficulties

So, I wanted to post the thing, but Tumblr just kept erroring, and it’s been like five hours now, so I just took a bunch of screenshots of what I wanted to post but couldn’t, so I can share it anyway...Now with commentary!

So, I clearly talk about Cats 1998 WAY more than any other version. There character tags mostly line up with who my favorite characters tend to be, minus Jemima. I’m a bit surprised by how many Skimble and Bomba posts there are, because I don’t think I talk about them that much. But Misto, Munk, Tugger, Jerrie, Pouncival, and Etcetera come up a lot around here and I generally have a lot to say about them.

As for The Long Tag, my grandpa was very sick and suffered from dementia. He passed away in September. I hadn’t seen him since 2016 and I’m not sure my brain has fully processed the fact that I won’t ever see him again. I didn’t post about it when it happened, because this is a Cats blog. 

Okay, let’s change the subject and move on to my top five posts AKA Mainly Stuff That I Didn’t Put Much Effort Into That Somehow Really Caught On

Okay, this one had actual effort put in. This was an early post, back when I was trying to rewatch 1998 a zillion times focusing on different characters. I stopped when I got bored of doing the same thing over and over. 

Out of all the rewatch posts, I get why this one was the most popular, since I was just sort of riffing the scene and having a great time.

Here’s how I described the scene and it sets the mood:

Since the post is really long, I took screenshots of only a few highlights:

There is no point to this highlight. I just had to include the Tail Spin again.

Because it wasn’t relevant to this scene, I forgot to mention that, while Teazer has the larger half of the brain cell in this scene, Jerrie has it when they’re doing crimes. He’s a criminal savant of sorts.

And now, a joke with some decent comedic timing:

RIP Pouncival

Explaining The Joke: In most productions, Alonzo plays the Rumpus Cat and it goes about as well as it does here, but you’d think Alonzo would be more reliable if you didn’t know that.

I found George kind of boring the first few times I watched the show, but he’s grown on me. This post was from before that happened, so I’m maybe a bit mean to George here.

Note: Cats CANNOT safely drink alcohol. I knew this when I made this post, but the joke was funnier if Munkustrap didn’t.

Okay, time for Number 4:

This was a short little meme post I wrote off the top of my head, but it’s another one that made sense to catch on. Here are some of my favorite descriptions:

The Ballad of Billy McCaw is really weird.

Of course, actors in the same production can give contradictory answers too, but wow has the show changed over time!

Okay, we’re getting to some shorter posts where I screenshoted the whole thing. Number 3:

I saw someone make a post basically identical to this at some point and I hope that post is more popular than this one, because it was there first.

Though it’s easy to make the Tuggoffelees joke of “Misto gets away with shit than no one else can”, having seen other productions where Misto doesn’t get this line, this is actually a difference in Tugger portrayals in original vs. revival choreography. In the original choreography, Tugger doesn’t seem to have a specific response to the comment and the actor just ad-libs it. Most actors play Tugger as being too confident to care that he’s being insulted. But, the Broadway Revival’s choreography plays up Tugger’s vanity, and has him fall into the typical trope of “guy who’s really full of himself is secretly insecure”. So, this Tugger can’t handle being insulted. I’ve seen clips of actors other than Tyler Hanes doing this with the revival choreography, so either it’s not ad-libbed, or every other actor who took the role after Hanes copied it because they thought it worked well.

This is another example of Blankenbuehler choreography completely changing Tugger’s character. I wouldn’t mind so much, but “vain but uncertain” is Alonzo’s thing and we don’t need two characters with the same potential arc. Tugger’s thing, so as not to be confused with Alonzo’s, is usually “seems like a jerk, but is really a nice guy/ seems like a himbo but is actually very smart/ seems irresponsible but is a really good leader when he’s needed”.

Number 2:

Tumblr, I was pandering to you. I realized that if I made a post that was just “these characters are LGBT” and literally nothing else, it’d get a bigger response than any longer headcanon or analysis. I actually feel a bit bad that this lazy post got as popular as it did. It’s not bad, but it was something I made purely to get a reaction and not because I had anything to actually say.

Lesbian Rumpleteazer! Most Teazers aren’t lesbians, because they have to fill in for Etcetera and be Tugger’s biggest fangirl, but Etcetera’s in 1998 and out of all the girls who are fans of Tugger, Teazer is the least blatantly horny during his number. Honestly, I didn’t know who to make the L in this LGBT meme. The queens who are the most easily shippable with other queens are all more easily read as bi. Bomba and Demeter could be read as a couple, but their past relationships with and attraction to Macavity is a plot point. Most productions don’t have any characters who read as lesbian, because all the queens go nuts around Tugger. The ones that don’t are Demeter (already explained), Jenny (who has an obvious crush on Bustopher), and Jelly (I don’t know maybe?).

So, the L was hard but the other 3 were all really obvious.

Gay Mistoffelees! In most of the situations where the tribe has gender roles, Misto is an exception to the rule. His aesthetic includes glitter and rainbows. He spends a lot of time trying to impress various toms while being one of the few toms who never really actively tries to flirt with any of the queens. Add in the fact that I’m pretty sure he’s been portrayed by more gay actors than straight ones and it’s incredibly obvious why he’s usually seen as the Gayest Little Cat.

Bisexual Rum Tum Tugger! He can’t pick one side of a door. Do you really think he could stick to sleeping with one sex without getting curious about “what’s on the other side”? Also, Tuggoffelees.

Transgender Mungojerrie! Misto is the more popular trans hc character, since he had those seven kittens, but Jerrie is my favorite trans headcanon. He’s a calico cat and male calicos are extremely rare. Male calicos are actually more intersex since their chromosomes are XXY. So Jerrie could be many different not-cis things, but my headcanon is that Jerrie was AFAB but Macavity magically gave him a male body. He’s a cat, so transitioning via hormones and/or surgery isn’t really possible, so he transitioned via magic.

Finally, My Number 1 Post of 2021:

Another one where I saw someone else’s post and basically did my own version of it. A former mutual (an anti), made a post describing Cats designs of different eras as:

1981: Human People

1982: Sewer Rats

1998: Teddy Bears

2016: Instagram Models

2019: *redacted*

So, I did the same damn thing with a visual aid, more commentary, and focusing on only one character. 1981 Misto looks human, 1982 Misto looks creepy, 1998 Misto is adorable, 2016 Misto is cool and polished, 2019 Misto is a bit of a mess.

I see a lot of posts that inspire my own posts, though I avoid directly copying. Depending on your definition, I’ve probably ripped a few people off.

I have seen screenshots where he looks a bit more feline than this, so I was sort of cheating.

This is actually one of the less “cryptid” pictures of this Misto.

The Broadway Revival didn’t really make good use of Misto at times, but the rainbow jacket is definitely a plus.

Explaining The Joke: Yes, I was a bit too harsh here. Misto’s is one of the better character designs in this movie, which is admittedly not saying much, but, outside of the broken CGI, he looks fine. The thing with him is that without his dance role, Misto just seems really watered down. He’s once of the nicer cats in the movie, but he’s more focused on Victoria than anyone else. He only fit the cryptid category by accident because of the CGI. He fits the Baby Misto personality very well, but they messed up his number which ruined the pay-off. His jacket is cool, but not as cool as the rainbow jacket. He doesn’t exactly fail at all these things, he’s just not as good at them as other versions are.

Outside of the lack of dance and overemphasis on Mistoria stuff, 2019 Misto isn’t completely out of character. He’s more genuinely shy, but there are moments of attention-seeking that feel very Baby Misto, such as after the list of types of cats in Jellicle Songs, he adds in “AND magical cats!”. That’s Misto. “Me! What about me and how awesome I am! I’m a special magic boy gdi!”

Even though the “terrible bore” line is now directly only at Victoria, the original meaning of the line (”Stop paying attention to him and go back to paying attention to me!”) is still there. As a side effect of making Victoria the protagonist, a lot of stuff that’s usually addressed to everyone ends up being addressed solely to her. Misto’s competitive nature and seeking the attention of everyone becomes mainly about Victoria, because she’s the main character. Any problems in Misto’s characterization are an extension of larger problems in the movie’s structure.

I hate on Cats 2019 a lot, I know. I think that by whatever objective standards art can be measured by, it’s a bad film and a bad adaptation of the source material. But, if you like it, ironically or not, fine. You can find happiness in a place where I can’t. Good on you. When it comes to the humans I criticize in this movie, I think most of cast did the best they could with what they had to work with. I still don’t like Blankenbuehler’s choreography and I think Tom Hooper lacks a basic understand of the appeal of musicals, but I don’t think their bad people. How could I know? I’ve never met them. The only actors I poorly of from this movie are Rebel Wilson and James Corden. They played themselves instead of their characters and I never got a sense that they actually cared about the show or the movie. But, the worst thing is that they blamed everything on the visual effects and threw those people, more people who did the best they could with out they had, under the bus.

So, here’s a long, 2021 Is Almost Over Let’s Recap The Year post. What you’ve learned is that I lie, cheat, steal, pander, and I’m generally kind of a dick, but at least you think I’m funny. Hopefully Tumblr will actually let me post it.

[mystery-vixen]

You: makes a post about asks

Me: WHO SUMMONED ME?!

Sorry, I got shipping brain, so it is ship stuff time, if you don't mind? Not really headcanonny but...

You asked me about a Misto and Mac date, but what about Misto and Mac's first date? (If you already answered it, you can write about any other date or stuff they like doing together)

And maybe Platugger as well? First date, or anything they like doing together?

Have a kiss! *disappears in a cloud of smoke* 💙💙

*Raises from the dead* MY SHIPSS

I have to add a readmore option because it’s hella long and I don’t want to do that to everyone’s dash—

A Mistocavity first date?

So, firstly, Macavity isn’t used to dates. He hasn’t been on one in years and when Mistoffelees suggests it he’s a little surprised.

They go in the dead of night. They’d been dating in secret for a while and didn’t want other cats seeing them together, so they had to be careful about when they held this. They went to a lovely garden a little while away from the junkyard —this would later become their spot.

Macavity actually planned it out very well! He set up a little setting for the two of them. He even lit some candles which Misto giggled a little about. They ate food that Misto had prepared earlier and brought with them and shared a bottle of wine.

When the moon came out from behind the clouds Mistoffelees pulled Macavity to his feet and dragged him into the light. They danced in the light. Gradually getting close to one another until they were chest to chest and they slowed. They kissed slowly with their hands caressing each other gently.

They ended their night laying in a bed of flowers and watching the night sky while they talked about anything. When Mistoffelees started to fall asleep they decided to head back. Macavity gave him one final, longing kiss before he left. Their hands lingered on each other before they separated and Misto spent the rest of that night sighing. He longed for a day when other cats wouldn’t shun their relationship and they could openly love each other and not in the dead of night where no one could see.. and Macavity wanted the same thing.

Platugger— (brain rot starts now)

They didn’t exactly start dating right away. They’d both been yearning for a while and jumping head first into things was just too much. Plato of course over thought everything and wanted it all to be perfect! He worried that if this didn’t go well then Tugger wouldn’t want to be with him afterwards.

They left midday to a more secluded place where they wouldn’t be bothered by the flocks of Tugger simps fans. It was a little awkward at first. They didn’t know how to act around each other, but they’d been friends for so long and never had this issue before!

It was Tugger who told Plato to relax. “Nothing’s going to change between us, okay?” He’d said and Plato calmed down somewhat. Once they’d settled it was a smooth afternoon. They laughed a lot. Played silly games together. They ate somewhere nice.

There were moments where their eyes lingered on each other or their hands briefly brushed by each other. Plato found himself looking at Tugger’s neck often and he tried to not make it as obvious. Tugger had a smile on his face for most of the day.

Their night ended late. Neither one of them wanted to separate, but had no choice. They returned to Tugger’s den and stood in front of it for a good ten minutes out of pure awkwardness. This is the part where couples kiss, right?

Well, they did. It was sweet at first. Plato kept his arms close to his chest and Tugger cautiously wrapped his arms around him. They were slow with every movement. They gave each other time to move away if they didn’t want it. Their kiss morphed. They broke apart only to be drawn back to each other. Plato grew bolder and brought his hands to Tugger’s chest —to his mane.

Tugger brought his hand to Plato’s cheek and pulled on his bottom lip with his thumb. They kissed harder, only breaking apart for the briefest of moments to breathe before diving back in for more. —But they had to stop. Tugger spoke into Plato’s mouth when they broke to breathe. “Do you want to come inside?” He asked and Plato.. ran.

Plato was mortified by the way he’d acted and Tugger kicked himself for pushing it too far too fast. They didn’t talk about it for a week.

[recklessrex]

45 - Herman and Munks (again it doesn't need to be canonically, but I need to see them having a conversation)

Okay. So. The other prompts I've done so far could all technically work in the continuity of my Cats headcanon, but they mostly serve as one-shots.

But this one ended up tying directly into the "Isle of Storms" arc in my overall timeline of Cats narrative headcanon fic thingy, and actually serves as a nice introduction to that setting. You don't need to know anything about the Isle of Storms before reading.

Beware: Long Fic

45 - “I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming.”

Munkustrap had never been to this part of the island before. The northeastern shore was so different from the coves and pretty little beaches to the west, and the marina and urban ruins with their expansive beach to the south. Even the east and southeast shores, dominated by short cliff faces and grassy hills, had the occasional short sandy beaches separating rock and ocean. Here, in this corner of the island, there was hardly any sand to speak of at all.

There was a beach of sorts, but it was made almost entirely of rocks. A field of smooth, fist-sized stones led all the way down the shore to disappear into the waves. Large, jagged boulders jutted out of the ground sporadically, sometimes in groups, sometimes alone. Clusters of even larger boulders bordered the rocky beach in several places, separating it from the green foothills forming the base of Wild Mountain. The ruins of a fishing village, and the shallow slopes it was built on, lay between two groups of these boulders, giving the Cats who sheltered there direct access to the waterline.

Munkustrap stood about a mile or so west of the village, at the top of one of those huge moss-covered boulders at the edge of the field of stones, gazing down on a site he never would have guessed was a part of the island he'd been forced to call home for the past several months. The rocky beach wasn't so surprising. The climate and geology was right for it, and it wasn't like they didn't have anything like it back home in England.

The penguins were rather a shock though.

There must have been at least fifty of them. A mass of knee-high, black and white, dapper little birds waddling around on the smooth rocks. He'd never seen anything like it in his life. He searched his memory, trying to come up with the species (ignoring the voice in his head, that sounded very much like Tugger, calling him a nerd).

Small, no crest, can survive outside of Antarctica…

That last one narrowed the field a bit. Munk was hardly a penguin expert, but he felt like few penguins were built for any climate other than frigid. The first thing that came to his mind was Galapagos, but he rejected it almost immediately. They were endemic Galapagos and while he wasn't sure exactly where in the world his island was, Galapagos it surely wasn't.

Related to Galapagos then, he thought, maybe…

He watched them, transfixed, trying to memorize their markings. There was a tribe that operated a meager library in the valley between the Ridgeback and the Watchtower. Maybe they might have a book on penguins…

Suddenly something else caught Munk's eye. A person, sitting on a low flat boulder on the beach, about twenty meters or so from the penguin gang.

Gang? thought Munk. That's not right. What's a group of penguins called? A flock? No I don't think so…

Shoving that thought aside for now, Munk focused his attention on the person sitting on the beach. They were definitely a Cat, he couldn't see their ears because of the hood protecting them from the slight drizzle, but he could see the tail, occasionally waving and thumping the rock in idle contentment. They were close enough for Munk to see the solid grey fur on their tail, and the very familiar faded pink rucksack laying next to them.

Herman, thought Munk.

He made his way down off his own tall mossy boulder, and approached his… friend? Ally? Business partner? He still wasn't sure where he stood with the clever young tom. But he was fairly sure Herman was on their side.

"Heyo, Herman!" he called as he approached, using the local term used to greet others from a distance. Herman turned, surprise etched on his face, relaxing when he saw who was calling him. He smiled and waved but didn't get up. He kept his eyes on the older tom as he approached, unconcerned with the giant group of wild animals just a short distance away.

"Looks like I managed to sneak up on you for once," joked Munk when he was close enough to speak at a normal volume. Herman smirked and turned back to the penguins.

"I dunno whatcher talkin' about," he said casually. Munk chuckled. The kit could play innocent if he wanted, but they were both well aware of the way he'd suddenly appear in Jellicle territory without anyone knowing how he'd gotten through the walls without damaging them, or past the guards without them noticing. Magic was a possibility, but Misto and the Twins insisted they sensed nothing in him.

"What are you doing this side of the island?" Munk inquired as he came to stand next to the solid grey young tom, who shrugged and looked up at him.

"Could ask the same of you," he replied. A non-answer, but a reasonable one.

"Just exploring. Getting my bearings," answered Munk. "Not been to this area yet, thought I'd give it a look." Herman hummed in agreement.

"That's cool."

"So what about you?"

"Oh ya know…" Herman shrugged casually, "...business. Had some stuff to drop off, pickin' up some stuff, you know how it is."

Munk did in fact know how it was. Herman was a major player in the island's barter system economy. Hundreds of tribes and individuals all over the island depended on him to get them access to resources they would have difficulty obtaining on their own. The Jellicles themselves had a standing deal: he finds them as many good usable nails, ropes, and other building fasteners as he can, and in return for each delivery he gets to pick out quality pieces of metal from the scrap laying around their territory.

"So how do ya like Stony Shore?" Herman asked.

"Is that what you call this region?"

"Hnm."

"Well it's certainly full of surprises." Munk gestured at the (...pack? …gaggle?) group of penguins. Closer now, he could see one or two fuzzy pint-sized chicks toddling between the adults.

"Oh yeah, they're neat, ain't they?" said Herman, looking up at the older tom with a big excited grin. Munk smiled back. He liked finding things the young tom couldn't (or didn't bother to) hide his interest in.

"I like to sit and watch 'em when I have a chance," Herman continued. "Finish up business up here, got nothing else going on for a bit, I come out here…" he gestured at the penguins "…chill with the tuxedo chickens."

Munk glanced down at Herman with a raised eyebrow. He knew education on the island was limited, especially for kits with no tribe or family, as Munk suspected Herman had grown up. But surely, surely he knew what a penguin was?

"Is, uh… is that what you call these?" Munk asked, trying to sound casual. Just act dumb, he thought to himself. He didn't want to embarrass his young companion.

Herman glanced up at him, looking somewhere between amused and concerned.

"Dude, you do know what a penguin is, don't you?" he asked.

Munk laughed.

"Of course!" he said, taking a seat next to Herman on his flat, damp boulder. "But is that what you call them?"

"Eh, sometimes" Herman shrugged. "It's my little nickname for 'em."

"Well it's certainly apt," chuckled Munk. Herman grinned at the comment, then they both fell silent. Together they watched the penguins milling about on the rocks, going about general penguin business, socializing, grooming, some sleeping, one adult chasing a wily chick that was outmaneuvering it by ducking between adults.

They didn't seem to mind the Cats' presence. A few wondered over to investigate the seated pair, but none got closer than a few meters. They would scope them out, then go right back to the (...swarm? …clan? …tribe, maybe?) group and move on with whatever penguiny business they had. It almost seemed to Munk like passers-by stopping to listen to a busker, then continuing on their way.

"They don't know you," Herman's voice rose over the various the squawks and honks of the penguins to break the silence between the two of them. "That's why they ain't coming over."

"Oh?" Munk replied. "They don't look bothered to me."

"They ain't, but they ain't gonna come right up either. Some of 'em, they come right up to me, check me out. Hang out, you know?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah these guys, like, know me."

"Cool."

"Ain't it?" Again Herman offered Munk that big excited grin, and Munk couldn't help but smile back. Herman acted casual and nonchalant, but Munk could tell he was always hiding, always so guarded all the time. It was nice to see him getting to be himself and share his excitement for once.

"Sure is," Munk affirmed, and turned his attention back to the penguins.

"None of them are eating," he mentioned, meaning it as a question.

"Yeah, naw, they got eggs," explained Herman. "Half the parents are out hunting or like fishing or whatever you'd call it. When they get back the other half will go out."

"Ah, yes, I see," Munk said. He did remember that about penguins now that Herman had said something, but he wanted to let the kit show off what he knew, so he pretended he was just now learning it.

"You can't really see the nests right now, 'less you're looking for 'em, cuz there's too many chickens in the way," Herman went on "But they got bunches of these little nests in the rocks with like a couple of eggs, like two or three, in each nest."

Munk narrowed his eyes and stared at the ground around the feet of the penguins. He did occasionally see an impression in the ground with some small lumps in it. He guessed those were the nests.

"Where did they come from?" he asked.

"The penguins?"

"No the rocks," Munk answered flatly, still scanning said rocks to see if he could spot more nests. Herman chuckled his appreciation for Munk's sarcasm.

"From the Zoo, just like a buncha other shit that lives in this island." Herman was referring to the ruins of a zoo tucked into the southwestern foothills of Wild Mountain. Munk was aware of the Zoo, and that many of its inhabitants had escaped following whatever catastrophe had happened to the island that caused it to become abandoned. In fact, that was how Wild Mountain got it's name. Munk had yet to find anyone who knew what the second tallest peak in the island used to be named, but everyone now knew it as Wild Mountain because so many of the escaped animals set up shop there. Lions, wolves, bears, all kinds of things that Munk didn't think was native lived on that Mountain. It was part of why this corner of the island was less popular than the rest.

"How did it happen?" Munk mused aloud, thinking about the ruins of the island's previous population.

"How did what happen?" asked Herman.

"The island," answered Munk. "The people. The ruins. What happened?"

He hadn't really intended it as a question to be answered, as he didn't really expect his companion to know. But he often wondered. Just exactly what had happened here?

"You really wanna know?" asked Herman.

Munk looked at him. Herman wasn't watching the penguins anymore. He was watching Munk. He still wore his casual expression, but the look in his eyes had changed. Munk knew that look. It was Herman's "serious business" look.

Herman knew.

"Yes," Munk answered seriously.

Herman looked back out at the penguins.

"Watcha offering?"

Munk raised both eyebrows in surprise. Out of everything he expected to become a transaction…

"For information?!" he exclaimed.

Herman raise one eyebrow back at him and said nothing.

"About the history of the island?" Munk said, though he knew the answer by now.

Herman's only answer was to raise his eyebrow higher and smirk.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming," Munk sighed as he sat back to think. What did he have to offer? He had nothing on him he was willing to part with, and these sorts of transactions are usually done on the spot. Though Herman knew the Jellicles were good customers and might except a "trade promise" of something back at the tribe's territory. Did they have anything Herman might want that would be worth giving up for the information he was offering?

"What'll you take for it?" he asked finally. He might as well get an idea of what Herman was looking for before trying to do a mental inventory of the tribe's resources.

"Oh ya know," Herman shrugged non-committally, "I wouldn't mind some company with my evening meal."

Oh.

"Oh," said Munk. "Um…"

This wasn't good. Trade aside, he just wasn't into Herman that way. But he didn't want to hurt the kit's feelings.

"Listen, Herman, uh… I'm not really uh... not really interested in you like that-"

"What? Ew, no!" Herman said quickly, then added, "No offense, but no. That's the last thing on my mind." Munk eyed him, unsure if he meant it or was just denying it because of rejection. Herman noticed Munk's expression.

"Trust me bro. It ain't you. I just ain't into it," he explained. "Like, at all. With anyone." He shrugged. "Not my thing."

Satisfied he was telling the truth (and more than a bit relieved) Munk asked, "So what did you mean?"

"Ah, ya know, I always eat all by myself. I see other folks, tribes and shit, they eat all together sometimes. Like your tribe. If I come by around mealtimes, I see like, you guys are hanging out together while you eat. It looks nice," Herman explained, putting on his best casual, carefree tone and body language. It didn't fool Munk. The kit was dying to have this. "Besides" he shrugged, "The was a pretty damn good pie the other day."

Munk couldn't help but laugh. The week before, the Jellicles had offered him a slice of a pie made from their newly harvested blueberries, just as a gesture of hospitality and gratitude. Herman had accepted it (as part of the day's trade), and the look on his face when he bit into it was priceless. He had absolutely loved that pie, and had come back with extra goods just to get another slice.

Herman looked at the older tom, a touch of worry and surprise crossing his studiously casual face when Munk started laughing.

"Come by the theater around six or seven tonight," Munk chuckled, waving away his laughter. "I can't promise there'll be pie, but if you stick around after you might get to watch a bit of rehearsal."

"Dinner and a show?" shouted Herman, slapping his knee and startling a few nearby penguins. "You got deal, bruh!"

They shook on it. Information for an invitation.

"Alright buckle up," began Herman "Like about 15 or so years ago, this place was all bald-bodies. Like some Dogs as like house Dogs or whatever, definitely some fourleggers, but like mostly bald-bodies. I've heard varying stuff on it, but only like five to twenty Cats on the whole island to like over 100,000 bald-bodies"

"Standard" commented Munk, who was used to "human society" being just that, dominantly human and largely absent of Cats. Though he was old enough to remember a time when "house Cats" were as common a thing as house Dogs. His own brother had been a house Cat, and he himself had worked in a university, not a house but a similar principle. But that's a different story.

"Right," said Herman, "so these bald-bodies they're doing their bald-body thing, living their bald-body lives. The Massacre happens, and whatever Cats were on the island all get killed off."

Munk shuddered slightly. Herman was probably too young to properly remember the Massacre, which was probably why he was able to speak so casually about it. But Munk had been eleven when it happened, and he remembered it agonizing detail…

"So now it's just bald-bodies and some house Dogs, right? And they go back to their bald-body lives. But then," Herman lowered his voice for dramatic effect, "about two or three years after the Massacre, someone, no one knows who, but someone, bombed the shit outta this place."

Munk had already guessed warfare had played a role from the state of some of the ruins, but he had expected to hear about the island's involvement in some war. Herman made it sound like it just came out of the blue.

"But why?" he asked.

"No one knows," said Herman with a shrug. "But there are theories."

"Such as..?"

"I'm not done yet, hang on. So they get the shit bombed out of 'em right? Big political hullabaloo. Buncha people pointing the finger at each other, no one really getting the blame."

Munk vaguely remembered hearing something like this in the news, but if Herman's timing was right this would have happened during his year of away-training, and news was neither easy to come by nor the peak of his interest, so it was no small wonder he couldn't remember much about it now.

"Disaster relief comes in, calls the place unfit for life, and evacuates all the survivors." He lowered his voice again "They never come back."

He certainly knows how to tell an interesting story, thought Munk.

"Story goes they all get like, rehomed or whatever, and more importantly," Herman raised a hand towards Munk and leaned in, making sure he had the older tom's attention. He needn't have bothered. "...they all got paid off. Right? So like, they get these huge checks to keep 'em quiet and so like, they wouldn't come back, right?"

Munk nodded.

"So like, the place is officially abandoned. The whole island sits empty for years. Well, 'cept the surviving Zoo animals and I guess the native animals and shit. But the point is, no people. For years. Then," Herman leaned in again. "about 7 years ago, the two existing 'isolation zones,' ya know, where the bald-bodies started sending Cats after the Massacre, they start getting full. Overcrowded. I know. I lived in one."

Munk narrowed his eyes but stored that bit of information away for later. Herman rarely offered information about his past, and never followed up any questions about it. If this tale could unravel even a little bit of the mystery that was Herman, well that would be a bonus.

"So like at first they start shipping a bunch of us from the older, more crowded place to the other place," Herman continued, oblivious to Munk's curiosity, "but that doesn't last long. Then they ship a whole bunch of us to this prison looking thing. I dunno if it was like an actual prison but it sure looked like one.

"It was actually kinda nice though, it felt more like an indoor city then what I would have thought a prison would feel like- but that's not the point." Herman shook himself out of his tangent and got back to his story.

"I spent two years there before it started getting kinda crowded too. And there were apparently human cities nearby that didn't like us being there. Then," Herman's tone went flat to show his annoyance "someone in Control or whatever was all of a sudden like 'oh we have this nice empty island far away from human society' and everyone conveniently forgets the 'unfit for life' part and a bunch of us get picked out to get shipped off and now here I am!" Herman opened his arms wide, gesturing to the ocean, the rocky beach, and the penguins. "Chilling with tuxedo chickens on an bombed-to-shit uninhabitable island I've inhabited for the past five years." His voice was colored with distaste that he didn't bother trying to hide. Telling the story had awoken an old bitterness in his young heart, one that had awoken in Munk as well, and was also leaving a bad taste in his mouth. They were silent a moment, then Munk asked,

"What are the theories?"

Herman shook his head. It wasn't a refusal, rather a judgement on the world.

"The main one is Control did it."

"Why?" asked Munk, though he suspected he already knew the answer.

"To make room," Herman answered with a bitter smirk. "How do ya like that? Murdered the shit out of over 100,000 people, like 95% of 'em their own kind, cause they knew there's more Cats in the world than would fit in their little 'zones.'" He laughed. There was no mirth in it. "They were planning ahead."

They sat in silence again for another moment, the only sounds coming from the waves, the light drizzle, and the gregarious penguins. A few penguins were starting to return from their fishing trip. They watched as the parents reunited, greeting each other before swapping places, caretakers waddling down to the waterline and returned-hunters taking over care of the nest. One returning parent had at least one already hatched chick, which was promptly fed as the Cats watched and stewed over the state of their existence. Eventually Herman sighed, leaned forward, and ran both hands through the fur on his head.

"It's all speculation you know," he said. "All shit I've heard, you know, around. No way to confirm anything."

"Around," repeated Munk. It was intended as an open question. He wasn't sure how all this information would be available to anyone on the island.

"I got my sources," the younger tom said, pulling a joint from a pocket of his pink rucksack and lighting it. "I ain't at liberty, you know how it is."

"Hnm," said Munk.

"You want a hit?" Herman offered. "First one's free."

"No thanks," said Munk, shaking his head and staring past the penguins to the ocean, "not really my thing."

"Suit yourself," Herman drawled, taking a hit.

"Hnm," said Munk.

They sat like that for some time, no one speaking, just thinking, and watching, until the rain stoped, the sun came out, and Herman's joint was half finished.

"Colony!" Munk shouted suddenly, snapping his fingers. Every penguin on the beach started, looked his way, and honked in annoyance.

"What?" asked Herman, as startled as the penguins.

"A group of penguins is called a colony!"

"...Okay…?"

---

Omg so there it is, the first official fic in my official Cats headcanon narrative fic thingy! I'm so excited! It's finally happening! Now I just have about 40 more years to write in order to actually lay out the timeline leading up to this point! yaaaaayyyy!!!?!

Btw the penguins are Humboldt penguins if you're curious.

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Saw My Mutuals Doing a Hunger Games

So, I also messed around with the Hunger Games Simulator. I called it Macavity’s Jellicle Choice. Macavity managed to defeat Old Deuteronomy and decided that the next cat to ascend to the Heaviside Layer as to survive a Hunger Games. 23 cats just die. The 24th gets reborn.

I am so terrible with the simulator that I didn’t even have images for the characters, so I didn’t take many screenshots. Instead, I took notes of what happened.

We’ll begin at the end:

This is the only screenshot you’re getting. All of the nicknames I used are very stupid.

Here are the notes I took as I played this thing:

Content Warning: It’s a Hunger Games. Violence and Death. Also featuring my dark sense of humor.

Bloodbath

Pouncival and Plato fought over a bag, but Pouncival was too small to win that fight and ran away.

Tantomile Inventory: Shield x1

Jellylorum managed to scare Tugger away from the Cornucopia. Nobody was surprised by this.

Victoria Inventory: Bombs x5

Bombalurina Inventory: Shield x1

Munkustrap has made the Cornucopia into his base.

Rumpleteazer, Asparagus, and Grizabella got into a fight. I assume it must’ve been some sort of Emotional Ballad Competition, because Grizabella was victorious.

Etcetera Inventory: Canteen x1

Mungojerrie is hiding in the Cornucopia. Munkustrap knows this and is allowing it.

Day 1:

After all that “excitement” (The Bloodbath wasn’t that bloody tbh), there’s still much to be done.

George and Coricopat got into a fight, but it was just practice and they’re fine. George won, btw.

Pouncival has already managed to hurt himself will foraging for food.

Jemima Inventory: Hatchet x1 (The baby has plenty of sponsors, I assume.)

Bombalurina caught some fish, but that’s not that exciting.

Grizabella murdered Alonzo with a trident. I’m starting to become concerned by how good she is at killing people.

Tantomile just fell in a lake and drowned. Quite the anticlimax.

Allience! Electra, Cassandra, and Mistoffelees are on the prowl!

Tumblebrutus managed to scare Tugger into running away. I think “run away” is Tugger’s strategy at this point.

Munkustrap Inventory: Nameless Fruit x3

Jellylorum Inventory: Spear x1 (She made it herself. All those years of teaching kids crafts have paid off.)

Victoria beat Mungojerrie in a fight, but let him go because this was either a practice round or the announcer for the family-friendly TV station that airs The Hunger Games just claimed they were “fighting” in the bushes.

Etcetera Inventory: Canteen x1, Food Item x1 (Thank you, sponsor! …Okay, it was me.)

Mass Funeral 1:

RIP Rumpleteazer. (Lean Lynx) Her ballad wasn’t angst enough.

RIP Asparagus. (No Fuss 2 Pronounce) He just wanted to play Growltiger.

RIP Alonzo. (True Himbo) That was kind of pathetic.

RIP Tantomile. (She Psych) Your death was so boring.

Night 1:

Serial Killer Grizabella got Electra.

Plato became Enemy Number 1 for some unknown reason and he was hunted down by Coricopat, Tumblebrutus, Tugger, Jenny, and Munkustrap.

Remember how Pouncival injured himself? He got pricked with tiny thorns and bled out a few hours later.

Etcetera just screamed for help AND IF SOMEONE DOESN’T HELP HER I SWEAR TO GOD-

Some strange archery accident involved Victoria, Skimble, and Cassandra occurred. Cassandra’s dead now.

Jellylorum isn’t dead, but she’s unconscious, so someone should really look into that.

Misto and Jemima are snuggling!

Bombalurina stabbed George and left him to die. A bit harsh.

Demeter and Mungojerrie have been spotted holding hands. These two Macavity survivors have turned to each other for emotional support.

Day 2:

Allience! Jerrie, Victoria, Coricopat, Misto, and Munkustrap are on the prowl!

Serial Killer Grizabella is stalking Jemima! Luckily, she hasn’t got a chance to kill her.

Skimble stabbed Tugger.

Etcetera has found her mom. Jellylorum has kept her safe for the day.

Demeter Inventory: First Aid Kit x1 (From a sponsor)

Jennyanydots Inventory: First Aid Kit x1 (From a sponsor, cleverly giving medical supplies to someone who might be able to help everyone. Hopefully, no more kittens will end up like Pouncival.)

Mass Funeral 2:

RIP Electra (Book and Bell): She didn’t expect Grizabella to go so insane so quickly.

RIP Plato (Not Too Big): He was played by the same actor as Macavity, so maybe the mob got mixed up.

RIP Pouncival (Can Do Handstand): He died from a boo-boo.

RIP Cassandra (Pharaohs’s Girl): I’m still not sure wtf just happened.

RIP George (Could Be Admetus): I almost completely forgot about him, but the audience will remember.

RIP Tugger (Tugs): Skimble took their rivalry too far.

So, that was a massacre…

Night 2:

Coricopat just randomly died from thirst. Remember that Tantomile drowned. One twin died from too little water, and the other from too much.

Victoria is having nightmares. Just thought you should know.

Jerrie, Skimble, Grizabella, and Demeter have set up camp together. After everything that’s happened, sharing a camp with Grizabella sounds like a terrible idea, but everyone’s under a lost of stress and not thinking clearly.

Misto has built a shelter and Jenny is allowed inside. Good choice of ally.

Jemima tried to sing herself to sleep. Poor baby…

Munk killed Jelly with a poison dart. It was quite brutal. I don’t think he meant it that way, but the game only ends after most of them are dead.

Bombalurina has begun to question her sanity. I think this question applies to nearly everyone.

Etcetera, after possibly witnessing Munk kill Jelly, appears to have snapped. She hacked Tumblebrutus to pieces with a weapon that I didn’t even know she had.

Day 3:

Stalking Jemima was a bad choice. Serial Killer Grizabella now as a sprained ankle.

Allience! Victoria, Jenny, Misto, and Jerrie are on the prowl!

Munk died from thirst, and possibly from guilt.

Bomba and Skimble are friends for today.

Etcetera Inventory: Food Item x1 (Sponsor. I had to do something)

Mass Funeral 3:

RIP Coricopat (He Psych): His death matched up with his twin’s.

RIP Jellylorum (Bitches Be Jelly): That was really fucked up.

RIP Tumblebrutus (Fliptastic): He was probably in the wrong place at the wrong time.

RIP Munkustrap (Fearless Leader): At the end of the day, he couldn’t kill his family.

Night 3:

Etcetera is gazing at the stars, looking for a Dead Parent-Shaped Constellation.

Victoria managed to defeat Serial Killer Grizabella, but she let her go.

Jerrie and Jemima are snuggling! I think he might’ve adopted her. Normally, that would be Skimble’s job, but…

Demeter found those poison darts Munk was using and killed Skimble with one of them.

Meanwhile, because everyone’s parents are dying tonight, Misto shot Jenny. I think he might’ve planned it. The Hunger Games brings out the worst in everybody, sooner or later.

Feast!

Smart Cats Who Stayed the Fuck Out of It: Mistoffelees and Demeter

Bomba just grabbed some food and ran for it, so she’s also pretty smart.

Etcetera’s nervous breakdown continues. She killed Victoria in an ambush, not caring who she was killing at this point.

Serial Killer Grizabella managed to behave when she ran into Jerrie and Jemima. They grabbed their stuff and left.

Day 4:

Misto is ready to die, but Jemima won’t kill him and Jerrie went out to hunt, so he’s not there to do it for her.

Grizabella died of dysentery. This isn’t even a joke.

EVENT: Tsunami (Later to be Dubbed “The Tsunami of Tears”)

Survivors: Mistoffelees, Mungojerrie, and Demeter

Little Etcetera got swept away. Bomba and Jemima both sort of crashed into each other, leaving them stunned for long enough to drown.

We just lost all of our kittens :,(

Mass Funeral 4:

RIP Jennyanydots (Mouse Mother): Misto betrayed her, but she probably didn’t mind.

RIP Skimbleshanks (Railway Cat): I’d like to propose a ban on poison darts.

RIP Victoria (Little White Cat): Another kitten in the wrong place at the wrong time.

RIP Grizabella (Cat Who Sings Memory): She died of dysentery.

RIP Etcetera (Little Tiger Cub): *wails*

RIP Bombalurina (Whittington’s Friend): She played very pragmatically, but lost from last-minute bad luck.

RIP Jemima (Sillababy): *wails louder*

Night 4:

After all the bullshit they’ve been through, the three survivors just decide to duel each other to the death now. Misto defeats Jerrie and Demeter. None of them were trying very hard.

Anyway, Mistoffelees won. I didn’t rig this so my favorite would win. I don’t know how one rigs a Hunger Games Simulator. I would’ve preferred to save a kitten.

If it isn’t obvious by now:

Mean Minx: Mungojerrie

Leading Lady: Demeter

Pied Piper’s Assistant: Mistoffelees

So, that’s what I did on this fine Tuesday morning.

Hunger Games Idea Inspired by: @fluffytuffles and @0zzysaurus​

I didn’t use the same template, but I wouldn’t have thought to do the thing if my mutuals didn’t start it.

As for the backstory I set up before hand, Mistoffelees magically kicked Macavity’s ass and rescued Old Deuteronomy. They figured out that it was all a magical nightmare Macavity had sent to torment the tribe. Misto’s magic allowed him to fight the nightmare for the longest. Demeter and Jerrie and also built up some Macavity resistance over time. Everyone who came close to winning had slightly higher Macavity resistance for one reason or another.

Anyway, they all woke up from the nightmare and everyone was actually fine.

The End