#just some random thoughts i had inbetween lectures today

[galadrielspeaks]

just thinking about thranduil and how he categorises his life and how the events of his life affects the way he rules his kingdom…. how so much of his development was defined by huge cataclysmic tragedies… thinking about how his youth is defined as before Doriath and his adulthood is defined as After Doriath… how when he became a prince he probably held on to his more idealistic beliefs only to be sternly reminded of the fickleness of life during war….. how the entire kingdom of the woodland realm probably has a Before Dagorlad and an After. how could you not after losing your king and the majority of your people? it is incredibly telling how these events of Thranduil’s past has affected his rule and everything about him down to his parenting. he understands he’s alone. that’s tragic. but he also understands his kingdom is alone. he’s a lonely king. there's no one higher than him, no one to seek advice from. he understands he is the final defender of a kingdom and he is fighting an inherited war, he has first hand witnessed the tragedies of this war and has been directly critically affected by it, he is just as much a victim of Sauron as his people. his nobility offers him zero protection, at any point he could lose everything, and yet he remains empathetic. he remains kind. he remains generous. he obviously sees the worth in fighting, he refuses to give up fully. he is (reasonably!) incredibly cautious which some call him an isolationist or consider him fickle for, during events like his refusal of gandalf’s invitation to the White Council but it becomes incredibly clear why he is like this when it’s put into context of his past. he has trusted allies before, he has seen what has happened. to join an organisation full of ring bearer’s as the sole leader of a nation with no ring to protect his people is almost an insult. they would not and do not understand what it takes to lead in that situation. Thranduil and all of his people are living in the after of the war of the last alliance. why would they join another? Thranduil has put his people first. He recognises that they themselves are the only ones who understand just how at risk they are. and yet with all of this in mind it should noted that he allies himself with men (who historically have experienced and understand the dangerous climate of their respective nations) and creates trade routes with them to provide for his people and also provides aid to them. and it is noted in the text that Legolas has been raised incredibly happily, and he is well-adjusted. throughout fighting a seemingly losing war thranduil found it implicitly important to raise his son with joy and hope. i like to believe he understands the importance of childhood whimsy and enchantment and worked to instill and maintain his child’s innocence. he raised his son as trauma-free as he could (saying this bc we do not know if his mother is dead or sailed or not but either way to be without the mother is traumatic but besides that Legolas appears to be generally mentally healthy). despite knowing first hand just how cruel and painful life is he did not feel the need to raise his child to be prepared and worried about very real threats. rather he raised his child happily, and simply worked to give his son the skills he needed to survive and to defend himself. usually military father's who have expreienced a great deal of trauma and haven't processed it correctly tend to succumb to the urge to raise their children to understand the cruelty of the world, and loathe their children for their innocence. i think that in thranduil not doing this with legolas, we can infer that he has taken time to healthily process his experiences. I believe that Thranduil is an incredibly important figure in the Lord of the Rings because he is truly an incredible example of someone who learns from their mistakes, learns from tradegy, who learns from life. i think that Thranduil never wanted to be a King, it is a responsibility that fell into his lap unwillingly and that is why he is a successful and well-loved ruler.

[badass-girl-101-blog]

Sneak peek from Don't Look Back, coming in January to Wattpad

I was sprawled on my bed reading one of my favorite books. I had the radio playing softly in the background, and my window was open, a slight breeze shuffling the papers on my desk.

Someone knocks on my door and i yell "come in" without looking up. "Jade! The next young man will be here in twenty minutes, while your sitting in shorts and a tank top reading one of your romance books! " my mother scolded.

I finally look up at her. "I'm not marrying him. Or any other guy you throw at me for that matter. I'm not interested in getting married. I'm eighteen for goodness sake." I say slipping a bookmark inbetween the pages and placing the book on the bed next to me.

"You must get married. You've come of age that you need to start a family. We must have heirs you know." She lectures. I roll my eyes. She says this everyday.

"Its not the old days. People don't get married at the age eighteen. The only time you get married at eighteen is when you and you're boyfriend have an accident and you end up being pregnant. Do I look pregnant?" I ask waving a hand down my really skinny body.

My parents are very..... controlling. They want stuff done their way. They are also the owners of the top business in the world, Diamond's Manufacturing.

They basically make everything stores sell. And they own a ton of well know companies, and they expect me to be perfect.I

At age two i was expected to sit quietly and play, age three I was writing and reading a little. Age four i was reading stuff like The American Girl Doll books. Age five i was playing three different instruments and had voice lessons, six i was horseback riding. Age seven i was helping my mom write her books -she writes books about parenting so people's kids are like me, and business books-By going through and fixing misspelled words, adding those missing commas and capitalizing the I's.

As I got older, I realized this wasn't how other kids were growing up. I was a stay at home kid. I had tutors come to the house, and teach me eight different languages, math and all the other necessary classes.

I think the first time i saw another kid that wasn't my parents' friends' kids was one day at the airport. I was twelve, and we were, of coarse, flying first-class but i saw a couple kids, running around, yelling and laughing, playing something that they had to yell "tag! You're it!" When you push someone else.

I thought it was a weird game. Why were these children running around yelling? Shouldn't they be sitting quietly, their legs crossed at the ankle and smiling politely? Running was a very naughty thing to do.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I haven't seen the outside world. I was in my own little bubble. Of course, I've traveled the world. I've seen Paris, Egypt, London, Basically everywhere.

I was thirteen when i started to ask about these things. Things that my parents weren't too happy about. "Can i go to a real school?" "Can i have a sleepover?" Stuff a normal teen should be doing, i was just learning about it.

It was a whole new world, and i was planning on discovering everything i could about it. I began buying millions of books. And they did answer some of my questions.

Though, are there really vampires? Mom says there aren't any, but she also said that running will make you break every bone in your body, so i don't trust her very much.

But they are very controlling. They have a list of "worthy" men, all of them my age, but in tight suits, don't expect you to speak unless you're spoken to, and speak without a word of slang. Very old-fashioned.

You should have heard the lecture i got from my parents when i said the word "dude." It was very amusing.

But they expect me to pick one guy - sorry young man-to marry, and have kids. Sorry, not happening.

"I sure hope not." My mother says glancing at me as she fixes a few figurines on one of my shelves. She thought they were hideous, the Pop! Figurines from different movies and books. She shakes her head in disgust at my room.

I've been trying to live a normal girls life. I had posters from movies i like, there were tons of shelves dedicated to books, my laptop wad on my desk, along with papers from school and random notes. I had my room in a light purple and grey scheme, lavender comforter, grey walls. A grey rug, and done pillows, with a light purple bean bag sitting in the corner.

She originally had it with white walls, and a few ballerinas, because she wanted me to dance. I wasn't graceful enough for it, and i quit. I prefer horseback riding. Mom doesn't know that i do all the work myself.

Kit Kat is a thoroughbred. Very energetic, which is good because we often go riding on the beach early in the morning or late at night.

"Why do i have to do this? Why can't you have another kid, one who does exactly what you tell him or her to? I'm not interested in getting married at the age eighteen." I complain and mom raises her eyebrow.

"Don't complain it's....." " Very un-ladylike. I know i know. " i groan, finishing her sentence.

Mom walks over to my closet, head high and moving gracefully. She begins sorting through my closet, pulling out a few things. "This..... This and this shall do." She says piling some on the bed. It was a long white skirt, with a brown belt with a flower buckle. There was also a light blue shirt.

Way to girly girl. "This isn't my style. I'm not girly like you." I say gesturing to her long pink dress and silver high heels. She glares at me. "You will wear this, and that's final." She says and walks back out. I study the clothes in front of me, then head back to my closet. Black leather jacket, black loopy choker and my ear cuff.

They basically killed me when they saw it, but it was a simple hoop on the side of my ear so it's not like i did anything really bad. Like get a tattoo. They sound cool, but all those needles pushed into my skin... I shudder. No thank you.

I get dressed, and add a pair of ankle high black boots. Now to sit and wait. I probably should put on some makeup, but I'm too lazy.

I flop back onto my bed and pick up my book again. I hear the doorbell ring and roll my eyes. Time to reject guy number twenty-seven.  I think and sit up. Two minutes later someone knocks on my door.

"Jade. Theres a man here to see you." A voice says through the door. I stand up and open the door, revealing Bethany, or Beth as she prefers to be called. Beth is one of our maids, and one of my friends.

"Do I have to go?" I whine and Beth chuckles. "I am afraid that you have to." She replies and glances at my outfit.

"Nice touch." She says approvingly. I smile a thanks. "What does he seem like?" I ask. "He's tall, skinny, nicely cut brown hair, and very.... Stiff." She says and I groan.

"I swear I'm going to run away." I mutter and Beth chuckles. "I'll come with you." she says and disappears down the hall.

I take a deep breath and glance at the stairs with hatred. I know they didn't do anything, but they lead me to torture.

I begin walking down the stairs and then walk into the parlor. He's sitting strait in his seat, no emotion showing on his face.

"Hello Mr...." I begin, then realize I don't know his name. "Miss Jade Diamond. I'm Henry Bentley." He says formally and stands up, bowing slightly.

I glance over him. He's way to stiff, it reminds me of my father. "So...." I say unsure what to talk about. "The weather is nice today, isn't it?" Of course I say something about the weather. These things are so awkward.

"Yes indeed. I see your mother's garden is coming along nicely." He says awkwardly. He keeps looking at my outfit. He's probably not sure what to make of it. I inwardly smirk.

"Yes, she's very proud of her garden. The gardener has done a good job." I respond.

----------

Henry had finally left, after a very awkward conversation. Mother and Father walked in, and they look horrified at my outfit. "What on earth are you wearing?" She screeches.

"What you gave me, plus a few of my own touches." I say rolling my eyes.

"I don't know why you have such stuff in your closet!" My father says.

"Anyways, what do you think of Mr. Bentley?" she asks. I shudder and shake my head. " no way in hell. " I respond and they once again, look horrified, this time at my speech.

"Young lady! You talk nicely, and don't use such horrid words!" Father yells.

" That's it, you're marrying Henry! " Mother states.

"What? No! You can't do that!" I yell and glare at them. " Oh yes we can. You will be married in two months. One week before thanksgiving. " they say firmly.

"I'm not getting married to him!" I yell and they give me an angry disappointed look. "don't yell, and he was the last suitable man. Now go to your room." Father growls and I turn around, stomping to my room. Childish -yes, but they hate me stomping. 'It's not lady like.'

I slam my door shut and flop on my bed. someone opens my door and slips in. "You okay?" Beth asks. I groan and shake my head.

" No, I have to get married to that jerk. " I grumble and she sighs. "Tell me about it."

I sit up and look at her. "Well when I walked into that stupid parlor he was sitting there looking like a freakin cruel king or something. Face with no emotions, and sitting up like a freaking pole.

Then we started talking about weather, then the business. Once he left, i got yelled at about my clothes, then told i had to marry that freak."

" Well then. I don't know what i should say. " Beth says looking at me sadly. I hop off my bed, and lay on the floor next to my bed and then pull out a big stack of boxes.

I set pine up, and begin throwing my clothes into it, not bothering to fold them. "I do, let's start packing."