#just so so much unnamed and indescribable emotion that i want to DRAW but people are SO fucking hard

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

bc it's like. and i was GOING to talk to you about the religion aspect of it because it is also partly a letter to God where i am like bro fuck me why is everything so hard; but also like. u know that already i could talk myself into the ground about that already so like yeah. i never posted this one bc it explicitly mentioned my age in a way that i Do Not have the heard to change and also i am emotionally fragile about it and it was probably one of the last songs i wrote before the one i made for tater last year... and it's SO SAD man. it started out as a poem about me hating summer now and the fact that i hated hating summer now because it used to be my favorite season, but then every single thing that made me love the season got taken away from me--the place i was in when i got to experience it, the people i got to be with, the friends and the family and the spending time with all of those people who were so important to me--and then it kind of slowly turned into me going why is everything that i am fucked up how do you even wait for me when i'm like this why must time pass and why does the hurt only get worse. and there's like no real point to me talking about this song i do not think i am going anywhere with this but it is SO IMPRESSIVE how badly i did not want to listen to it until like. over a year later. and now every time i listen to it it's wild because i always get to have the fun realization that this fits literally any breakdown i could have that would have me listening to sad music like goddamn it is it a versatile little fucker of a song.

but also it is interesting because there are parts in there that i've grown a little about and i can look back and be glad that i have moved on from it. it's like a little marker fr like one day when i'm like fifty i can look back on this song and be like haha fuck you life i won. so i'm kind of just. drifting along waiting for that i think

FJFJRJR ALL OF THIS IS SO REAL DUDE IM

bc literally same omfg DUUDE. *shakes you and then hugs you and then shakes you again*

[hinatasharem]

sweater thieves

For KenHina Week day 3

Kenma would do anything to make Hinata happy, even if that meant moving to Torono Town and leaving Tokyo. So, because Hinata loves Kenma more than anything, he suggests they spend Christmas in Tokyo - and of course he’s going to wear Kenma’s Nekoma hoodie. (It’s a perk.)

Read on AO3

For Shouyo, Kenma would do anything to make him happy. If that meant going out of his comfort zone, for Shouyo, he’d do anything. So, when Shouyo asked him to move in with him in Torono Town, he didn’t even think about it. He packed up and moved almost immediately.

The apartment they found was partially furnished, cheap on the rent and close to Karasuno where Shouyo had a part-time job coaching the team. Kenma found work at an Indie gaming company that was a short train ride away.

It’s winter, they’ve been living together for four months now, when Kenma comes home to find Shouyo asleep under the kotatsu, wearing Kenma’s softest sweater. He’s flushed, a pile of mandarin peels in front of him and the TV is tuned to a volleyball tournament. Kenma strips off his parka and joins Shouyo under the futon. He leans against his boyfriend, the fabric of his sweater soft against his cheek.

Shouyo stirs. “Kenma? Ah, you’re home. Welcome back,” he says, stifling his yawn behind his hand.

Kenma nuzzles the side of Shouyo’s head. “I’m back,” he murmurs. “You stole my sweater.”

He laughs, tilting his head to kiss Kenma. Shouyo tastes like the mandarins he’d eaten. Kenma wraps his arms around Shouyo and they fall to the floor with a thud. Shouyo’s giggling, tangling his fingers in Kenma’s snow-damp hair. Kenma feels the blush burning his cheeks and he buries his face against Shouyo’s neck.

Shouyo’s laughter is infectious, but there’s an ache in Kenma’s chest that’s he’s been repressing for a while now. He’d do anything to keep Shouyo happy… Right?

“Shouyo?” Kenma says against Shouyo’s neck. He tenses briefly, sliding his hands from Kenma’s hair to draw soothing circles on his back.

“We should go to Tokyo for Christmas,” Shouyo says, absently. Kenma tenses for a moment and props himself up on his elbows to get a better look at Shouyo. He’s still smiling, but his eyes have softened, reflecting the emotions flittering across Kenma’s face. Shouyo’s too perfect. Somehow, in six years Kenma has known Shouyo, he always knows what Kenma’s feeling. “I asked a lot of you to come to Torono and you left a lot back in Tokyo. We don’t visit enough – I’m sorry.”

Kenma brushes away the tears that leak from Shouyo’s eyes. “Thank you, Shouyo. You always know what to say.” He smiles. “I love you.”

Kenma’s favourite hundred-watt smile graces Shouyo’s lips and he pulls Kenma down to kiss him relentlessly. “Kenma!!!! I love you!!!!”

Taking the train back to Tokyo for a week is like a slap of nostalgia for Kenma. Back when Shouyo was high school, Kenma would often venture up to Torono to stay with him and the train ride is exactly like he remembered. Well, not quite. This time Shouyo is with him so he’s a lot less lonely and he isn’t missing his boyfriend like crazy.

Shouyo had snagged Kenma’s Nekoma hoodie before they left so of course Kenma dug through their closet to find Shouyo’s Karasuno one. Honestly at this point in their relationship, it really didn’t matter what belonged to who. Shouyo’s snoozing on Kenma’s shoulder, their gloved hands laced and resting on Kenma’s thigh. Kenma’s playing games on his phone.

He receives thirty snapchats from Kuroo after an hour on the train, detailing the crazy drive from Kuroo and Bokuto’s apartment to the train station. Bokuto cannot drive for shit and Kenma prays Kuroo will drive them back. (Seriously, he went 60 in a 20 zone, he is crazy.)

you know we won’t be there for another hour, right? He sends back.

OH SHIT

Kenma chuckles and Shouyo tilts his head to rest his chin on Kenma’s shoulder. Kenma glances at him (he’s adorable right now, by the way, wearing a white hat with a rainbow pompom and his nose is still red from the chill), kisses his nose and asks, “What?”

Shouyo scrunches his face. “What’s so funny? I want to know,” he says. He’s pouting.

Kenma laughs. “Bokuto almost drove into a pole and they got to the station an hour early.”

He tries to fight the smile off his face but it’s impossible. For the rest of the trip, they chat mindlessly (well after Shouyo kissed Kenma breathless) and just enjoy the overall peaceful atmosphere of the train.

Kenma almost feels weightless when they get off the train, somehow, but holding Shouyo’s hand anchors him. Bokuto waves to them over the swarm of people and Kenma weaves them through like a pro.

“Oya, are you two going to be apart at all this week?”

“No,” Kenma and Shouyo answer in unison. They share a small, secret smile.

Bokuto throws his arm around Shouyo. “You two live together and are still going to spend the week together?” He turns to Kuroo. “Bro, is that cute or gross?”

Shouyo makes an indignant, dismayed sound, largely ignored by their larger and older friends. Kuroo’s eyes twinkle. “Definitely cute, but grossly so.”

“Haha bro you are so right.” And with that, (mercifully) Kuroo drives them back to the apartment.

“Kenma, I love you and support you in everything you do, but I have never EVER seen you a shirt with that character on it,” Kuroo says five mornings into their trip when Kenma walks into the kitchen at around seven. His brows knot together in worry. “Is everything okay?”

Kenma pinches the shirt to look at it. It’s Shouyo’s pale blue t-shirt with that unnameable red and overly excited character. Shouyo was wearing it last night. Kenma lets go of the shirt, shrugging. “It’s just Shouyo’s shirt.” So he put on the wrong shirt this morning when he stumbled out of bed (or rather, the futon), oops, oh well.

Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “Is that so?” Bokuto glances over his shoulder from where he is furiously making pancakes. Kenma gives Kuroo a weird look, pours himself a coffee and makes Shouyo a green tea. Kuroo hides his smirk behind a gulp of coffee.

Just after Kenma is finished making Shouyo’s tea, he whirls into the kitchen, Kenma’s shirt loose around his neck. There’s bright red marks along his neck and collarbone which disappear below his collar. Kuroo chokes a little on his coffee, though he keeps his mouth shut.

He plops down next to Kenma, accepting his tea when Kenma offers it to him. “Ah, thank you, Kenma!” he chirps, leaning over to kiss Kenma’s cheek.

Kenma merely smiles. Bokuto turns around, holding two serving trays stacked higher than Bokuto of pancakes. There is no way. Although, he’s seen Shouyo plow through his fair share of food so between the four of them, the pancakes will all get eaten.

Bokuto’s eyes zero in on the marks Kenma left on Shouyo last night. “Holy shit did you guys fuck on our good futon last night?”

Kenma feigns ignorance and Shouyo’s blush says it all.

“Daaaaaaaamn Kenma!” Kuroo says, grinning. “Just, damn.”

Bokuto scoffs, “I can’t believe it. I can’t even get lucky under my own roof and these two just waltz in here, all happy and couple-y like it’s nobody’s business.” He groans, stuffing a full pancake into his mouth. “It’s not fair,” he complains, sinking against Kuroo’s shoulder.

Kuroo laughs (animal).

Later that afternoon, when Kuroo and Bokuto have long since left for work (after having Kenma and Shouyo swear on Kuroo’s sacred pet rock they wouldn’t sully the futon further), Shouyo is curled against Kenma’s bare chest, hugging him tight like a koala. Kenma sighs, rubbing small circles on the small of Shouyo’s back.

“Do you want to stay longer?” Shouyo murmurs, rolling slightly to smile at Kenma.

Kenma meets Shouyo’s eyes. He had missed Tokyo so much that he was prepared to spend Christmas there. He missed Kuroo (and Bokuto) and seeing his oldest friend after months is truly an indescribable feeling. But…

He shakes his head, kissing Shouyo softly. “No – I’m kinda missing home, anyways.” Shouyo’s smile blinds him.

He may have been born in Tokyo, but his home is back in Torono Town with Shouyo.