#just so much concentrated. vicious. salt in these lyrics

[deathlesssness]

to this day My Heart Is The Worst Kind of Weapon remains the most brutal FOB song ever.

[artificialqueens]

Favorite (Katlaska) Chapter 3 - Aliena

AN: Again, thank you so much for your lovely comments, they really mean a lot!

This fic really is all about the slow burn. I hope you don’t mind too much. This chapter contains mentions of Alaska x Jinkx, Alaska x Adore, Alaska x Willam x Courtney and Katya x Violet, but it’s really only mentions.

She gets used to it, spending time with Katya, to the point where she feels a little bit lost when she’s not. It’s not so bad when she’s at home, with familiar people and familiar places that provide a safety net. But every new hotel room in an unfamiliar city feels claustrophobic when she she doesn’t have the option of walking a few doors down to another room and welcome company. It’s easier to slip and fall when you don’t have anyone to hold on to. It’s a relief almost, that the whole All Stars circus is followed by a few BOTS shows and then the Christmas Queens tour. She knows it’s hardly healthy though, to shift her dependence from one thing to another. So she tries to make it back to her own room most nights, instead of falling asleep in Katya’s bed. It isn’t until one night, when she’s making her excuses , and Katya’s voice stops her, that she realizes that maybe Katya is just as dependent on her as she is on Katya. ”Could you stay?” Katya asks, just as Alaska is about to open the door. ”Just… Brenda is being really fucking vicious tonight,” she continues when Alaska turns around to look at her. ”I don’t like to ask, but…” she trails off and shrugs, looking embarrassed. ”Why?” Alaska asks in disbelief. She crosses the floor and sits down on the edge of the bed, not grabbing Katya’s hand, even though she kind of wants to. ”Why wouldn’t you ask?” Katya’s smile is slightly wobbly. ”I’m really terrified that you’ll get annoyed with me.” ”Oh god, Katya, I am so frequently annoyed with you,” Alaska says, and she must have managed to find the right tone of voice, because Katya bursts out in a laugh. ”But never because of something like this.” If they wake up with Alaska’s arm wrapped around Katya, wrinkles from Alaska’s t-shirt pressed into Katya’s cheek, neither of them mention it. But after that, she doesn’t even pretend to want to go back to her own room anymore. She’s rehearsing Read U Wrote U with Katya and Detox, and they’ve figured out that if they just do twenty seconds of synchronized choreography, it’ll make up for the rest of the number being improvised depending on mood, venue and audience. ”I have a question,” Katya says, once they’ve given up and are sitting on the floor, and raises her hand, as if in school. ”Yes, miss Zamolodchikova?” Alaska says, and Katya grins. ”Will Roxxy murder us in our sleep for mocking her verse like this?” Detox snorts. ”No, she won’t mind. We made fun of her part of Can I Get an Amen for two years, she was fine with it.” ”Where my people at? Where my people at?” Alaska sings off-tune, raising her arms. ”You are both horrible people,” Katya declares. Alaska looks at her pointedly. ”Well, you’re the one who kept wanting to send her home on All Stars, so if there’s anyone she has a reason to hate…” she says, and Katya sighs. ”Well, I couldn’t send Detox home,” she says plaintively, ”because she lent me her lipstick.” Alaska narrows her eyes as Detox cackles.   ”And I couldn’t send you home,” Katya says to Alaska, smiling sweetly, ”because you’re my favorite.” Detox gags and Katya looks imploringly at Alaska until Alaska cracks a smile. ”Lucky for Roxxy I’m the worst lipsyncer in Drag Race herstory,” Katya continues with a pitiful sigh. ”Not the worst,” Alaska allows. ”You were just up against the best.” She holds out her hand, and Detox slaps it. Manila and Phi Phi join them for lunch, which they have right there on the floor, because why the hell not. As she finishes eating, Katya almost absentmindedly stretches her leg over her head. Alaska hates her a little for it. ”With cooter-slam enabled hip joints stolen from the living body of Katya Zamolodchikova”, Manila says in a robotic voice, causing Katya to choke on her water. ”What? What?” she manages to get out between coughs. ”What was that?” ”You know, from Alaska’s song,” Manila says, taking the bottle of water from Katya’s hand to avoid her spilling it all over the floor. Katya turns sharply to Alaska. ”No it isn’t. I’ve listened to your songs.” ”It’s from Slaytina,” Phi Phi says when Alaska doesn’t answer. Katya frowns. ”No, I’ve definitely heard that one.” Alaska remains silent. She feels a strange kind of mix of pleasure and embarrassment hearing the others discuss her songs. As Manila is searching for the song on her phone, Katya leans over to Alaska. ”I really have listened to your albums, Barbara,” she says, batting her eyelashes. ”I know all the words to It Is What It Is.” ”No, we can no longer be friends,” Alaska says drily. ”My true friends know the words to all my songs.” As the music suddenly blares from Manila’s phone Alaska squirms. She’s not wild about listening to herself, at least not with other people around. ”Look, do we have to…” her voice is cut off by Katya putting her hand over Alaska’s mouth. ”Hush! I’m listening.” The temptation to lick Katya’s palm is so strong. But, well, it’s Katya. She doesn’t know where that hand has been. So she remains obediently silent as they listen, instead watching the frown lines appear on Katya’s forehead as she’s concentrating on the lyrics, only barely noticing Detox pouting her lips, and Phi Phi showing off her teeth when their names are mentioned. When Katya hears her own name, she starts laughing, and Alaska gives in to temptation, licking a broad stripe across Katya’s palm, tasting salt. ”Disgusting!” Katya declares as she pulls her hand away, wiping it on her shorts. ”And I have heard the song. But there is a slight possibility I maybe didn’t pay attention to the lyrics. Clearly, it was my loss.” Alaska nods benevolently. ”That said,” Katya continues, ”should I be concerned? That whole thing about stealing my hip joints from my living body raises some questions.” She stretches her legs out in front of her. ”Without these hip joints, I am nothing, mama.” Alaska raises herself to her knees and straddles Katya’s thighs. She knows it’s a bad decision the second she does it, because she didn’t count on the way Katya’s breath hitches, or the way her own body reacts to the proximity. But she still caresses Katya’s hips gently, leaning forward slightly. ”But I’d be so gentle,” she says softly, moving one hand up towards Katya’s chest. ”You wouldn’t feel a thing.” Katya’s eyes widen a fraction, and Alaska wants nothing more than to give in to temptation again, but she suddenly remembers that there are three other pairs of eyes in the room, so she leans backward and smiles brightly. ”Lunch break over!” (She replays the moment in her head so many times that after a while she’s not sure what actually happened and what her subconscious added in afterward. Could she actually feel Katya harden under her, or was she not close enough for that to be possible? Did she see Katya’s tongue dart out to lick her lips, or is that wishful thinking? Did Katya’s hand tremble slightly when Alaska took it to help her up from the floor? ”Yes, yes and yes,” Katya says when Alaska asks her in a weak moment, though she’s probably as unreliable a narrator as Alaska is. But then again, it hardly matters anymore.) Katya swears loudly in Russian. She’s sitting on the bed, legs bent, a wig stretched over her kneeand she is trying to untangle the knots in it. ”What the fuck did you do to that poor thing?” Alaska asks. ”Nothing out of the ordinary,” Katya says, pulling the comb through with so much force it makes Alaska wince. ”So you could have dragged it across the stage and dipped it in Red Bull and cigarette ash for all I know?” Katya looks stricken. ”Is that not part of everyone’s daily hair care?” she asks, her eyes wide. Alaska sits down cross legged in front of Katya. She grabs the comb from Katya’s hand and pulls Katya’s knee with the wig on closer to herself. ”Also, you know you’ll ruin the shape of it by having it on your knee like that.” Katya smirks. ”Yeah, but that’s the beauty of being me. I can get away with wigs looking like they’ve been flushed down the toilet. It’s all about choices. You chose the gorgeous alien princess, I went with the Russian bisexual transvestite whore.” She watches Alaska carefully combing through small portions of hair. ”That’ll take you ages, don’t even bother with it.” ”So impatient,” Alaska chides. ”Sharon is exactly the same. I used to do this for her all the time.” ”That’s what you get for sleeping with another queen,” Katya says. ”Double the maintenance.” Alaska looks at her for a moment. ”Have you ever done that, though?” ”Have I ever done what? You’re going to have to narrow that down quite a bit.” ”Slept with another queen. Actually, in the name of narrowing it down, another Ru girl.” Katya cocks her head to the side. ”Have you? Apart from Sharon of course?” ”I asked you first,” Alaska protests. ”Then it’s only fair that you should answer first too, isn’t it?” ”Fine.” She concentrates on a particularly nasty tangle in the wig while Katya waits patiently. ”There’s been a few.” Katya gasps in mock horror. ”A few? And here I thought you were the absolute paragon of virtue!” Alaska snorts. ”Right.” Katya pokes her in the thigh with one of her toes. ”So? Tell me who.” ”Nope,” Alaska says loftily. ”Wouldn’t want to ruin your image of me.” Katya pokes her harder. ”Please, Mother, I’ll be ever so nice if you tell me the sordid details of your sexual affairs.” ”You know, that voice is really creepy.” ”Everyone always tells me so, Mother,” she continues in the same voice and grins. ”That’s why I like it.” Alaska focuses on the wig, instead of looking at Katya. ”There was one time with Jinkxy. Which was lovely, and then it was extremely fucking awkward for quite some time.” ”Oh,” is all Katya says. ”We’re fine now though, I think we’re just pretending it never happened.” It just seems easier. She abandons the comb and starts working through the worst tangles with her fingers. ”Adore, a few times.” She hesitates before mentioning this, because it’s not a fond memory. ”That should just have been fun, which I guess it was, for a while, but it was actually shit, because she was really messed up at the time, and I didn’t realize until it was too late.” Too late for her, actually. Adore seemed to bounce back a lot faster than Alaska did. ”That’s not on you though, you know that,” Katya says gently, and Alaska forces herself to look up. ”I guess,” she says. ”Still feels like shit, though.” ”You don’t have to tell me this, if you don’t want to,” Katya says. ”No, it’s fine. No one knows though, so…” ”I won’t tell.” Alaska nods. She’s quiet for a while, trying not to remember sitting naked outside a bathroom door, listening to Adore hurling and crying inside, without being able to do anything about it. Katya starts braiding a section of hair on the other side of the wig, her fingers occasionally brushing against Alaska’s. It’s utterly unhelpful but she appreciates the gesture. ”And then there was Willam and Courtney.” Katya nods, and then her eyes widen. ”Wait, Willam and Courtney? At the same time?” ”Yes gawd,” Alaska says in her best Laganja impression, and can’t help to feel a bit smug when she sees the look on Katya’s face. ”You absolute whore!” Katya exclaims, with a delighted grin and slaps Alaska’s leg hard enough to make her flinch. ”Was it hot? I bet it was hot.” Above all it had been fun, which had surprised Alaska, but yeah it’d been pretty damn hot too. ”I don’t kiss and tell,” she says innocently and Katya narrows her eyes. ”If you don’t, I’ll ask Willam. She’ll definitely tell. Do you really want me to hear her version instead of yours?” She really doesn’t. ”It was hot,” she admits. ”I mean, it was in the middle of summer in Australia, so it was bound to be.” She’s not really sure how it happened. Somehow it just seemed like the thing you do in Australia. At least that was what Courtney said. ”Tease,” Katya says, but doesn’t press the issue. ”And that’s it!” Alaska says. ”That’s my little black book of Ru girls. Now, tell me yours.” ”It’s a very thin book,” Katya says, holding up her thumb and index finger with the tiniest of gap between them. ”One page, barely worth the publishing fee.” ”Seriously?” ”Unlike some people, I don’t shit where I eat.” Alaska wrinkles her nose in revulsion. ”I did not ask what you did in bed, just who you did it with.” ”You disgusting cunt,” Katya screeches, but breaks out laughing the second after. ”You know what I mean.” Alaska sticks her tongue out, giggling when Katya does the same in return. ”So,” she says. ”Who was it, who was the chosen one that made Katya Zamolodchikova break her principles and sleep with a mortal queen?” Katya leans back against the headboard, looking smug. ”Guess.” ”That’s not fair!” Alaska whines. ”I didn’t make you guess.” ”Wouldn’t have been much point in that, would it? I could have pretty much said any name, and I’d been right.” Her voice is teasing, and she’s poking Alaska in the thigh with her toes again. ”Come on, it’ll be fun.” Alaska studies Katya in silence for a minute. ”There is an obvious answer, of course,” she says finally. Katya nods. ”And if the obvious answer was true, I don’t think  you would have made me guess.” ”I always said you were smart.” ”So it’s not Tempest DuJour?” Katya screams with laughter. ”How did you know? We’ve been having an illicit affair since the first time I saw her in the work room. Ours is a forbidden but delicious love.” ”So,” Alaska says, once Katya calms down. ”Not Trixie?” ”Not Trixie,” Katya confirms. Alaska bites her lip, pondering her next choice, but she can’t let this go, not when it’s finally up for discussion. ”Why not?” Katya blinks. ”Why haven’t Trixie and I had sex?” ”Yes! You’re basically married already.” ”I suppose,” Katya says. ”We’ve made out, which was amazing. And I love her, so freaking much. We’ve even talked about it, which was very mature of us. It just wouldn’t work. She wants a husband and kids and that whole thing. I could never give her that.” She smiles quickly and picks up the wig that’s been forgotten, smoothing down a few stray strands of hair. ”Guess again.” It’s obvious she wants to steer the conversation in a another direction, but Alaska’ll let her. For now. ”Phi Phi,” she says. ”No.” Katya looks surprised. ”Why would you think that?” She honestly can’t believe Katya is this oblivious. ”She is so into you.” That had been clear from the minute they walked into the work room on All Stars. Katya scrunches up her face in a manner that is almost adorable, if Alaska was the type of person to find things adorable. ”Really?” ”How are you this blind? Yes!” ”Really?” Katya says again, looking intrigued. ”She’s very attractive.” Alaska shrugs. ”She’s only a few doors away, if you want to give it a try.” Katya ponders this, a little too seriously for Alaska’s liking. ”I’ll keep that in mind,” she says. ”Guess again.” ”Give me a clue.” ”It’s someone from my season,” Katya says. ”There are only a couple left to choose from.” Alaska goes over the queens from season seven in her head, and oh, of course. It’s obvious really. ”Violet Chachki,” she says, certain that she’s right. Violet talks a little bit too much about fucking Katya for it not to at least be based in reality. Katya just nods, almost looking a little embarrassed, and Alaska grins. ”Look at you,” she drawls. ”Blushing and everything.” Now it’s her turn to poke Katya with her toes. ”When did this happen?” ”First time was the night of the season finale,” Katya says, ignoring Alaska’s ”First time?” She smiles fondly. ”She was so fucking pissed at me for that stunt Ru pulled, when she called out my name.” ”I would have strangled you on the spot,” Alaska says. She remembers all too well how highly strung she had been at the season five finale. If Ru had called Detox’ name, she would not only have strangled Detox, but Ru Paul herself. ”I think she was tempted to,” Katya says. ”But she cursed at me for about five minutes, and then, she dragged med into the bathroom, and well…” She grins. ”But apparently we’re not going into details tonight.” ”Bitch,” Alaska mutters, but she’s not letting her off the hook this easily. ”But you said first time. How many times have there been?” ”I don’t know, a few? When we happen to be in the same place at the same time, and haven’t anything, or anyone, better to do.” Katya shrugs and starts braiding the wig again. ”Violet’s good at getting what she wants, and for some weird reason, every so often that seems to be me.” ”It’s not that weird,” Alaska can’t stop herself from saying, because it’s anything but. ”You can say a lot of things about Violet, but there’s a reason no one ever questions her taste.” She can feel herself blushing when Katya looks up at her sharply, but she has no idea where to go from here. So she grabs the wig from Katya and and picks up the comb again. ”Now let me tell you a thing or two about proper wig care.”