#just seriously annoyed at the people who decide to repeat harmful history

[uvobreakmylegs]

The Sixth Floor Game

heavy inspiration from the Elevator Game, as well as the Three Kings Game and a little bit of Silent Hill 3

demon!Shalnark

Warnings: blood, death, kidnapping

The Sixth Floor Game is a ritual that will put you into contact with otherworldly forces and, if done correctly, can take you to a world that exists outside of our own. To play this game, you must follow all of the instructions that have been written below. Take care to remember all of them, as one mistake could result in death.

First you must enter a dark and empty building that has an elevator and only five floors in between the times of 3 and 4 AM. The only items you can bring with you are a fully charged cellphone, an item of sentimental value to you and an offering for the demon.

It is not recommended that you give an offering that bares any resemblance to that of a clown or magician.

When you enter the elevator, you need to ride it up to the 5th floor and leave the offering just outside the elevator doors and then head back down to the 3rd floor. When you reach the 3rd floor, you then need to exit the elevator and use your phone to call the last person in your call history. The game begins when you call that number.

When the line is picked up, you must say “I want to visit the 6th floor”.

Be warned that at this point you may hear strange noises on the other end, as calling the number at this time and place has put you in contact with a demon. It is possible to gauge whether the demon is happy with your offering or not based off the things he may say, if anything at all. Do not hang up on the demon; you will go back up the elevator when he hangs up on you.

There are three possibilities awaiting you when you go back to the 5th floor to see what has happened to your offering.

If the demon doesn't care for your offering but hasn't been upset by it, you will find it in the same place as you left it outside the elevator. You must then collect the offering, go back down to the first floor and leave the building.

If the demon has been offended by your offering, you will find the offering destroyed in some way. Leave the building immediately if you find this, as it means that the demon is angry with you and will try to kill you if you stay too long.

But if the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor. If this has happened, you must close the elevator doors and then hit the button for the 5th floor again. This time, instead of the doors opening again, the elevator will begin to move up, taking you to a 6th floor that shouldn't exist.

The amount of time it will take to reach the 6th floor varies from person to person, but it should not take longer than two minutes.

When you reach the 6th floor, you will find yourself in another world. Accounts of what this other world looks like also varies from person to person. Some have said that the floor they entered was run down and wrecked to pieces in some parts. Others have said that the floor didn't look any different from the other floors. Regardless of the state of the floor, the one thing that is consistent is a giant glowing red cross that can be seen if you look outside. You will see nothing else outside aside from the cross.

It is not recommended that you to try to open any windows or try to climb down the building.

You are free to explore this other world until you are ready to leave. It does not matter how long you stay in the other world. When you want to leave you must simply walk back to the elevator and hit the button for the first floor. It is possible that you may come across the offering that you left for the demon earlier while you explore.

Do not take the offering back; it now belongs to the demon.

Reality on the 6th floor can be distorted and you may find yourself becoming confused. If you find yourself entering into such a state, take out the sentimental item you brought and focus on it. It will keep you from losing yourself and allow you to continue as you explore the other world.

Above all else, while exploring the other world, you must never look behind you. Even though the demon may have liked your offering, he also likes trickery and will try to make you turn around to look at him by making noise or by speaking to you. If you look at the demon you will be unable to leave the 6th floor and he will keep you there forever as he has claimed you as his.

It is not recommended that you speak to the demon even if you don't look at him.

Regardless of the outcome of your offering, when you have returned to the 1st floor you must exit the building and you cannot enter the building again for any reason until the time is 6 AM.

If you have upset the demon with your offering, it is not recommended that you try the game again.

There is no reward for playing this game. There is only the experience of leaving this world and venturing to one beyond our own.

This game is dangerous and could result in the death of the player, so please consider the possible outcomes of playing before you decide to do so.

You finished reading aloud the instructions displayed on the sketchy-looking site and looked to your friend Farah, who had her hands clasped together as she looked hopefully at you and the rest of your group who had gathered in her apartment.

“Well?” she asked after a moment, “what do you think?”

“.... Why does a demon have a phone?” you asked.

“Yeah and what phone company does he use?” Cliff asked after you, “or do demons have their own phone companies.”

“You're missing the point!” Farah exclaimed.

“And the point is....?”

“We need to try this!”

There was a collective groan throughout the apartment. The other one in the group, Carmen, rubbed their forehead as they told Farah “you're our friend and we love you, but I don't think any of us want to repeat that time we tried summoning ghosts in a public bathroom.”

“This is nothing like that!” Farah insisted, “it said that we need a building with five floors and an elevator! I promise, there won't be anything gross!”

“Where do we get a building like that?” Carmen asked.

Farah pointed to Cliff.

“You work security overnight at that one office building, right?”

“Do you seriously think I'm going to risk my job for this?” he asked.

“We won't do anything bad! We'll just play a game and leave some stuff on the top floor. If the demon doesn't like it we'll take it with us. It's literally in the rules that we need to clean up after ourselves.”

Farah stopped herself, but you could tell she wanted to continue about getting a chance to visit another world. She loved the supernatural and those kinds of urban legends, but she never wanted to try these things on her own.

Carmen sighed.

“Is anyone else even remotely interested in trying this?” they asked.

Neither you or Cliff said anything at first, and Farah's face began to fall as no one volunteered. Then, when it looked like Carmen was about to speak again, you tentatively raised your hand.

“It might be fun,” you said. At least in terms of memories of 'dumb shit you did when you were younger'.

Farah beamed while Carmen gave you a look that screamed 'I hate you'.

With you willing to give the game a chance, the other two ended up conceding to do the same, and Cliff had been convinced by Farah to let you all in a week from that day when he worked at that particular building. With his shift being 11 PM to 7 the next morning, there would be plenty of time for you to play the game and then let him get back to work. As long as nothing was messed up by the end of it, there would be no harm.

At first you were rather stumped on what to give the demon as an offering. Farah was the same, but she ended up deciding on a horror anthology book from the 1920s. Carmen just got a shirt they had been wanting since they were certain that this ritual wasn't going to work and they wanted to spend the money on something that was useful to them. Cliff went out of his way to get a particularly creepy clown doll. He claimed that he wasn't annoyed by all of this, but you found yourself questioning that statement when he sent a picture of it through the group text. You had no clue where the fuck he had found something that unsettling.

The night you all had settled on was approaching and you still didn't have an offering. It shouldn't have been that hard, and yet you felt like if there was the chance that you were going to run into some otherworldly creature, you didn't want to half-ass it and make it upset. If the supernatural was real it seemed better to try and keep it on your side.

You found yourself browsing a few online forums where people were discussing the game. Unsurprisingly, most said that the ritual didn't work, and the few that claimed that it did had written some uninspired stories about how the demon had told them how they were going to die or when the world was going to end, with at least one mentioning the coming of the Antichrist. When you scrolled down to the end of the page you were pretty bored of all of the comments you read and you were about to exit the page when one particular comment caught your eye:

the demon likes bats

It was buried beneath the comments of others, and nobody had interacted with it. Common sense would tell you that this was just more bullshit, but it just seemed like such a random thing to make up. Nowhere in the instructions had it mentioned bats, and no one else on the forums had said anything about it either. The user who had posted it hadn't interacted with anything else and seemingly just came on to put out that little tidbit. For that reason, you found yourself wondering if their ritual had been successful.

You leaned back in your chair while you considered the information.

Bats, huh?

And then by complete chance the next day, when you were in the mall trying to find something because it the date you'd set for the game was only hours away and you still had nothing, you spotted something through the window of a toy store: a pink stuffed bat plush.

It was rather overpriced, but if that comment was correct, then it should be worth it. If not, at least you got something cute out of it.

Surprisingly it was Carmen and Farah that had been less than impressed by what you had brought.

“I didn't realize you wanted to offend the demon too,” Farah commented bitterly.

“Maybe the demon likes pink,” you responded as you shrugged.

Nothing more was said about it as Cliff opened the front door of the building. In exchange for doing this, he made the rest of you go about the building to turn off all any lights that had been left on which you all grumbled about but agreed was fair enough. By the time you were finished scouring the building, it was 3:13 in the morning.

It had been agreed that Farah would go first, and the rest of you waited in a darker spot of the parking lot while she went in, watching the building to see if you could spot her movements through the windows. You had pulled out your phone, as you were the last person she had called. It would probably be proven pretty fast if this was real or not if she called you and it went through to you, though Carmen had said that they felt it was likely that Farah would probably not call and just say that she had.

You checked to make sure the sentimental object you had brought was in your pocket: a small, stuffed bear keychain that you had gotten as a present from a childhood friend. It was special to you, but you didn't feel like you'd be absolutely devastated if anything happened to it.

Farah came out a few minutes later, carrying her book and looking disappointed.

“It didn't work,” she said as she sighed.

“Did you call?” you asked.

“Yes,” she answered, somewhat indignant. To prove that she had, she pulled out her phone and opened up her call history. It listed her last call as being made to you only a few minutes ago. When you opened up your own call history, it showed that she had called you over an hour ago.

….. Okay. That was weird.

Carmen went next, and it was the same story with them, as they came out a little bit later still holding their shirt. Unlike Farah, they didn't seem too upset.

Cliff went after, holding that creepy clown doll and waving it around a bit as he walked to the elevator.

It was quiet again after that. You, Carmen and Farah waited patiently in the parking lot while the electric lampposts around you hummed. Cliff had been talking earlier so you hadn't noticed it, but it seemed eerily quiet outside. Usually there were bugs or other forms of wildlife at night that would keep things from being silent, but right now there was nothing; only the humming electricity of the lot and the occasional comment from Carmen.

Farah seemed anxious as she looked at the building, her hands playing with the charm on her phone while she waited for any sign of Cliff. The thing with the phone history seemed to convince her this was for real and she seemed nervous about Cliff's offering. Carmen didn't appear to be the same way and seemed more impatient, who'd begun to tap their foot as they waited.

“Did you hear anything when you called?” you asked the both of them. They looked at you, and both shook their heads.

“It was quiet when I called,” Farah said.

“Same here,” said Carmen. Farah smiled at that.

“That means that it's real, right?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Carmen wasn't the best person to be around when they were tired and cranky, and you could see that Farah wasn't trying to take it personally. But looking back to Carmen, you noticed a slight furrow to their brow, and the impatient tapping seemed to have increased. At first glance you would have assumed that they were just really done with this whole thing, but as you kept looking, it seemed less like they were annoyed and more more like they were apprehensive.

“Cliff's taking a while,” they commented.

It was taking Cliff longer than the two of them, you realized, and you were about to try and crack a joke about him making it to the sixth floor when you saw the elevator doors in the lobby slide open, followed by Cliff walking out.

More like storming out, actually.

“What the hell?!” he exclaimed as he shoved open the main doors.

“Don't shout!” Carmen responded, “this is your job that we're not supposed to be doing this at, remember? What're you going to do if someone calls the police on us?”

Cliff ignored them, looking to Farah as he continued “are you serious? You want this stupid thing to be real that badly?!”

He was holding something that he then thrust in front of Farah's face. It was the clown doll that he'd brought.

Or at least, what was left of it.

It looked like it had been stepped on repeatedly, the body broken and the head having been caved in. One of the legs were also missing, you noted.

“You.... You think I did that?” Farah asked.

“Who else!” Cliff yelled.

“I've been here the whole time!” she shrieked back.

“She has,” you added as you felt the need to jump in, “none of us have moved from this spot.”

“Oh fuck off,” he answered, “I needed to return this. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe you shouldn't have gone out of your way to be an asshole,” Farah spat back.

It quickly devolved into an argument between the two, with Carmen pulling you back when you tried to jump in again. It made sense why Cliff was upset, but Farah hadn't done anything.

“.... Should I not go?” you whispered to Carmen after a bit.

“No!” Cliff exclaimed, this time at you, “you should go! Do this stupid thing, and then let me get back to my work!”

“You're not allowed to go back in for the rest of the night,” Farah pointed out.

By that point Cliff was done, and he stormed off to another area in the lot. Carmen motioned for you to go while Farah quietly steamed. It wasn't the first time those two had fought, but the arguments seemed to be getting nastier every time they happened. Best to get this over with so they could be separated and have the time to cool down.

You walked through the darkened lobby of the empty office building, your path illuminated only by the streetlights outside. There was something about darkness and artificial light that somehow made it feel more foreboding, more dangerous. Even though you were an adult there were still thoughts that ran about in your head of creatures that you couldn't see awaiting you in the dark, and those thoughts made you tense a bit. It was such an irrational fear, but one your brain wouldn't let go of. The argument between your friends had only put you more on edge as well.

The elevator doors slid open, the bright blinding lights hurting your eyes for a second before they adjusted to them, and you stepped in the car, pushing the button for the fifth floor.

Fifth floor, leave the offering, then down to third.

There were some bits of Cliff's creepy clown doll that were in front of the elevator when you reached the top floor. It vaguely occurred to you that the instructions said to leave immediately if the offering had been destroyed, but it seemed like Cliff had tried to clean up some. Though that made sense, since he didn't want to leave a mess behind after his shift.

You pushed away some of the leftover bits with your shoe, and carefully placed the bat plush laying on its back in front of the doors.

Down to the third floor, then.

You checked again to make sure that the bear keychain was still in your pocket during the ride down, stepping out when the doors opened after you confirmed that it was.

Now to make the call....

There hadn't been anything saying you needed to wait until the doors closed to begin, but you waited anyway. When the double doors slid shut behind you, you hit the button on your screen to call Farah, the last person on your call history.

It rang twice before the call was picked up. Just as Farah and Carmen had said, it was silent on the other side. You cleared your throat before saying the words that had been instructed.

“I want to visit the sixth floor. Please.”

There was nothing that said you needed to be polite, but you figured it couldn't hurt.

You still didn't hear anything from the other end, and that silence continued for several more seconds. You held the phone close to your ear, straining to hear anything, any sort of indication that someone was on the other line. The “demon” was supposed to hang up first, you remembered, so you were stuck until something happened.

“.... That's actually cute.”

The male voice you heard on the other end was unexpected, but you didn't get a chance to say anything back before the phone call ended.

You stood very still for a few moments.

That.... That hadn't been any of the others who were still outside. Unless they had gone so far as to hide someone out there and have them answer the phone when you called Farah and all of this was just an elaborate prank. But none of them were really the kind of people to do things like that.

Remembering the instructions from the site, you turned back to the elevator and got on when the doors opened, pushing the button for fifth floor once again.

If the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor

The ding of the elevator signaled that you were once again at the top floor of the building, and when the doors slid back open and you looked to the spot where you'd left the bat, you found.... Nothing.

That space you had cleared from the broken bits of that doll was empty, the white tiled floor shining in the light that came from the elevator.

….. If this was all just a prank by your friends, you weren't sure if you'd be able to trust them after this.

The doors closed once again, and you took a deep breath before you pushed the fifth floor button.

The elevator began to move up.

There wasn't a sixth floor; you'd double checked that the building only went as high as five.

You told yourself to wait until the doors opened before you jumped to conclusions. You'd need to see this “other world” before you could say for certain that all of this was real.

The website said that it could take up to two minutes, but mere seconds later did the doors slide back open.

Everything looked normal. Just another floor of an office building.

Or it would have looked normal, had it not been for the fact that everything was bathed in a red glow that came from the outside.

Clutching your phone in one hand and the keychain in the other, you took a small, tentative step out of the car, looking to either side of you.

The hallways were empty. Nothing jumped out at you.

Slowly, you walked over to a window.

In the distance stood a glowing red cross.

…. This was real.

This was actually real.

It was almost too much to process for your shock-addled brain, and you had to wonder if anyone else who had been successful had the same reaction as you, to just stare dumbly at the scene before you.

It then occurred to you to get proof for when you went back.

You pulled up the camera on your phone. Or you tried to at least. Of all the times for your phone to act up, it needed to be when you needed to get a picture so people would believe you. The app kept taking forever to pull up before it would close and you repeatedly tapped on the screen as you tried to make it work. Somehow you managed to snap a few pictures of the cross before the camera closed again and you weren't able to open it back up. The lighting and your uncooperative phone made the pictures appear quite blurry, but one would be able to tell what they were looking at. No doubt some people would claim that it was fake, but it was enough to satisfy you.

You checked the time, finding it to be 3:30, if the phone was to be trusted. You wished you had checked before you came up here, but it was a bit too late for that now.

You stepped away from the window and went down one of the halls, looking all around before you remembered that the site said that you shouldn't look behind you. Or was that only when you heard the demon? Regardless, you kept glances behind yourself to a minimum as you made your way through the floor.

Aside from the red light that covered everything, it looked like a normal office floor, filled with different offices and supply closets and nothing that was particularly interesting to you. The one strange thing was that the red cross outside seemed to move along with you, as when you would move to a different room you would still be able to see it clearly outside. You went back to the windows a few times and tried to see if there was anything else outside, but all you found was an endless darkness with no signs of any kind of life or structure. Unsurprisingly there was also no sign of your friends down below, though it would have been hard to see where they were standing outside anyway given the angle.

The red light made you slightly sick after a while, and you tried opening up the flashlight option on your phone. But it refused to turn on. In fact, nothing on your phone was working now, and when you looked at the clock, the time was still 3:30.

Either time was being distorted or your phone wasn't able to function properly. Given how your phone was acting earlier the latter would seem to be the most likely option, but you also weren't sure what the rules of this place were. There was nothing that said that this world was bound to time in the way yours was.

The website had said that you could stay up here for as long as you wanted, right?

You began to see things out of the corner of your eye, little bits of movement in the darkness that dared you to look at them. You did a few times, mentally slapping yourself as you remembered what the instructions had said as you were now desperately trying to remember everything that had been written so you knew what you could and couldn't do. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time as you recalled what the site had said about possibly dying to this game, and at one point you felt so overwhelmed that you thought you were going to throw up. You managed to keep it down, but after that you decided that it was time to leave.

When you started to head back to the elevator was when you felt a headache coming on. It was mild at first, but when you went further along your route to the exit it started to hurt more, turning into a stabbing pain that jammed into your skull.

Had the website mentioned this? You couldn't be sure. Where were you even going again?

You stopped at an open door, leaning against the open door frame to rest. There was movement from inside the room, and without thinking you looked over to it.

The bat you had left on the fifth floor sat in the room in front of a whiteboard. A whiteboard that had been absolutely covered in drawn on hearts and your name repeated over and over.

…. The website hadn't mentioned that.

“Do you think it's a good place for him?”

The voice you heard came from a few feet behind you. The same voice you had heard over the phone.

You needed to get out. Now.

You brushed your hand against your pocket as you tried to stand up straight again, still fighting the pain of the headache when you remembered the little bear keychain.

It will keep you from losing yourself

With that thought in mind you pulled it out and focused on it, and the pain seemed to lessen by a good amount.

“You've got a thing for cute stuff, don't you?”

The voice came from directly behind you this time, like whoever was speaking was staring down over your shoulder as they were practically on top of you.

Don't look don't look don't look

You pushed off of the door frame, the keychain still in hand as you power-walked back down the hall. The headache was still there a little bit but it was nowhere near as debilitating as it had been before.

The voice whined from behind you.

“You're leaving already? You just got here.”

Don't speak. Don't look.

It was following you. You could hear the footsteps that trailed after yours, keeping up with your pace and almost being purposefully loud. Sudden noises accompanied the footsteps, making you jump and urging you to turn around. It was a natural thing to react to sudden sounds like that and you needed to catch yourself a few times from looking behind.

It was trying to keep you here and you didn't want to stay to find out why that was.

You turned several corners and walked down many halls, and the elevator wasn't anywhere in sight. That wasn't right. You had made a mental note of where the location of the elevator approximately was. As much as the headache was still messing with you, you should still be able to make it back. You knew where it was, goddammit.

…. Was it just you, or were these hallways getting longer?

A chuckle came from behind you.

“You didn't think I'd let you go that easy, did you?”

You started to run.

You weren't sure how long you continued like that – time didn't seem to be a thing up here. Around you the halls extended, stretching out and prolonging your time in this hell as you turned corner after corner and you still couldn't find the fucking elevator. The temptation was there to look behind and see how long the halls had become, but the laughter that followed you kept your eyes straight ahead.

Turning another corner, the doors to the elevator came in sight, and you let out a gasp of relief as you ran faster. Just a little bit more and then you'd be free.

…. The elevator seemed to be was moving away from you, messing with you just as the halls had done before.

You could hear him breathing directly in your ear as you ran. Still trying to freak you out, still trying to make you turn around. He hadn't touched you at all, though, and you wondered if there were rules for him that prevented him from doing so.

The attempts to get you to look back at him seemed to be getting desperate. If this thing was getting to a point where even he was desperate, you didn't want to know what the hell he'd do to you if you made the mistake of turning around.

Despite it all the elevator was getting closer. Escape was literally in your grasp-

And then something in the floor shifted that caused your knee to buckle and you were sent flying face down on the flat white tile.

The phone and keychain went flying out of your hands and there was blood in your mouth as you bit your lip. Your head ached again, though you weren't sure if it was because of him or because you'd just landed on the solid floor.

You lay there for a few moments, catching your breath as you tried to compose yourself.

You then became aware of the presence that was standing over you. He was quiet now, but you could feel his eyes burning holes into your back, as if trying to will you to look at him.

Pushing yourself up on shaky arms, you began to crawl forward, your hands searching for the phone and keychain that had gone flying and had vanished into the darkness, the light from outside now much duller than it had been when you'd first arrived.

Don't look don't look don't look

He can't touch you

He can't force you to look back at him

Just keep facing forward and-

A horrifically loud shrieking noise sounded through the hall. It was the loudest thing you had ever heard in your life, the noise so great that you felt the floor vibrating, and your hands immediately went to cover your ears to protect your hearing as best you could.

Don't you dare fucking look back

With your hands still over your ears, you crawled forward on your knees. It was slow and it had gotten so dark that you couldn't see the elevator anymore, but it was still progress. When your knee brushed against your phone you ignored it. Who gave a fuck about proof anymore? You just wanted to get out.

But you were still trying to keep a lookout for the keychain. It had helped before; if you could find it, it would probably make getting out easier.

You put out one hand on the floor as you blindly searched for your sentimental item, your eyes scrunching up in pain as the horrible sound continued.

For a split second your fingers brushed up against something soft.

You grabbed it.

Immediately after the shrieking noise stopped.

For just a moment, there was relief, even though you still had that noise ringing in your ears. But it took only another moment for you to realize that something was wrong.

You hadn't grabbed that bear keychain. It was larger and heavier.

Opening your eyes, you found that you were holding that fucking bat plush.

“Ah. You messed up.”

A hand reached from behind you and grabbed the plush out of your grip. A different hand was placed on your shoulder and you were spun around on the floor.

A fair-skinned man with what looked to be blonde hair stared down at you, one hand still on your shoulder as he waved the bat in front of you.

“You're not supposed to take this back, remember?” he asked as he smiled at you.

“No.... I didn't...” you trailed off.

“But you did, though! You grabbed and picked it up,” he said.

That wasn't possible. You had left that thing behind in that room that felt so far away now. But as you glanced to the side you saw that, to your horror, you were sitting next to that room again, the hearts still visible on the whiteboard. You were barely able to note that it had gotten brighter and that somehow the red lighting seemed less harsh before he was talking to you again.

“So you lost and now you don't get to go back,” he told you.

“No.... You cheated.”

It felt so juvenile to say that out loud, but it was all that could come out of you in your current state.

Strangely though, he didn't deny it.

“Can you blame me?” he asked, “I've never gotten a visitor as charming as yourself. When I heard you on the phone and saw what you left me, I just needed to keep you.”

He looked at the bat plush again and smiled at it as he sat down in front of you.

“Did you just pick this at random, or was it something else?”

You struggled to comprehend the question, and it took you a bit before you were able to blurt out “someone else said you liked bats.”

“So you mean you went to the trouble of looking up what things I liked? That's adorable. I love it!” he exclaimed.

You tried to subtly scoot away from him as he sat in front of you but you were noticed instantly.

“Where do you think you're going?” he asked. The look he gave you was so innocent.

“I-I need to go home. I want to go home,” you insisted.

“That's not an option, remember?” he asked, waving the bat around again.

You shook your head.

“You cheated. I should be allowed to leave because you did that.”

He laughed.

“There's no rule against cheating. As long as I didn't touch you it was fine. Don't be a sore loser.”

“Fuck you.”

You spat out those words in a bout of frustration, trying your best to sound strong, but it probably just made you seem more pathetic.

He only hummed at that, just staring at you for a moment.

It had been getting steadily brighter, the red going away with every passing second and you were able to make out different colors. The purple and teal on his clothes, the shade of blonde his hair was and the blue of his eyes were visible to you for a few moments.

He set the bat plush to the side, and the world began to darken again as red and black took over.

“That's okay,” he said, more to himself than to you, “you're scared and that kind of reaction is normal, so I'm not too mad.”

It was getting harder to see him, but you could see movement about him, things about his body changing. Horns that slowly curled out from his forehead. The tips of his fingers that darkened around long claws that took the place of his fingernails. Large, bat-like wings that unfolded from behind him and spread themselves.

You caught a glimpse of his teeth in the low light, and they looked sharper than they had before.

Panic shot through you as you began to scramble away from him, but your escape attempt was short-lived as something wrapped itself around your legs and pulled you back towards him.

A tail? Oh God that was a tail.

He was on top of you, and he caged you in his arms as he leaned down to whisper in your ear “don't worry, I'll go easy on you this time.”

You tried to push him away, but he ignored it.

“Oh! Before I forget, I should introduce myself shouldn't I? I'm Shalnark. Nice to meet you.”

With that, his lips claimed yours in a searing kiss.

Your friends had been waiting a while.

Farah and Carmen stayed where they had been directly next to the building while Cliff hadn't moved from where he had stormed off to. Farah had been getting upset as she had become convinced that you were being an ass to her as well with how long you were taking. It was all Carmen could do to try and keep her calm.

Because of his distance away and how distracted they were, neither of them noticed the state Cliff was in.

They only noticed when he began to violently cough.

With Farah still slightly bitter from their earlier argument, Carmen was the one to check on him, asking if he was alright as they walked up to him.

Cliff gave no answer as he had begun to cough up blood.

Carmen's hands fumbled when they pulled out their phone to call emergency services, and they yelled at Farah to go inside and get you. The sight of the blood Cliff was coughing up had Farah sprinting towards the building, throwing the front doors open as she made a beeline for the elevator.

Carmen didn't notice it at first when Farah fell to the floor. Only when the ambulance had been confirmed and they looked back to the building to see if the two of you were coming out did they see her body lying limply on the floor.

Ambulances and cop cars arrived eventually, and both Cliff and Farah were declared dead at the scene. The autopsy reports later would declare that they had been poisoned. A thorough search of the building would find no source of where the poison had come from.

Nor did they find anything from you.

Carmen had told them that you were in there, but when they searched they found no trace of you. No personal belongings and nothing to even indicate that you had entered the building. When the search for you grew beyond the confines of the office building, there was still no trace of you. You simply vanished into thin air.

The case would puzzle investigators before they would ultimately put it aside for other cases that needed their attention. It would only gain some traction online when the files were released to the public and certain parties saw that you and your friends had been playing the Sixth Floor Game. For some people it added weight to their beliefs that the game was real and needed to be avoided. For others it was just a coincidence.

Regardless of what they thought, you remained a missing person that would never be seen again, forever immortalized by your unexplained disappearance and an urban legend.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Darkling Character Analysis

Full disclaimer, I’ve not read the books, though I have ordered the first so I am hoping to have read that soon. But just so you are aware this character analysis is based entirely on the show version of the character. Obviously there will be spoilers for all of season one. Also I just want to say that my aim with this analysis was to sort of get into The character’s head and so alot of this is just what I think the character might have been thinking, feeling and what his motivations may be, it does not mean I agree or disagree with his actions. When I am giving my view on his actions I will try to make it as clear as possible. Also this is just my interpretation of the character and my own opinions on the character, it is ok if you disagree. So obviously this is an analysis of the character The Darkling but I am also going to be talking about his relationship with Alina so I guess its also a sort of analysis of their relationship too just solely from Aleksander’s side of it. I will be using all of the names he has interchangeably because he has so many that I don’t know which one to stick with (seriously haven’t seen a character with this many different names since Jace from Shadowhunters) so sorry if that’s annoying. Fair warning this one is probably the longest analysis I have ever written and they are usually pretty long so I would suggest if you are going to read this maybe get some beverages and snacks first. I mean I think it shows how compelling and interesting a character he is that I was able to waffle on as long as have about him. But yeah its long. Of course you can also always scroll on past. But if you would like to read it then the rest is under the tag. 

Ok so first off I think the show does a really good job of building up the character in the first episode by giving us some information on The Black General before we and Alina officially meet him, they really give the character this air of mystery by giving us only a small amount of information about him but also by not letting us see his face. We get small tantalising glimpses of him, a shot of his boots in the mud, his carriage passing by, the back of him with his cloak billowing in the wind as the skiff enters the fold. It’s just enough to peak the audience’s interest. But most of what we learn in episode one is from what other character’s tell us. The very first mention we get of The General is from Mal and it’s a very small detail but I actually think it can tell you alot about The Darkling’s character. When Mal and Alina come across the Grisha practising Mal says ‘They’re always picking on us when their General’s not around.’ This seems like such a throwaway comment designed to show us how the First Army feel about Grisha and paints this picture of the Grisha thinking they are higher and mightier than those who are not Grisha. But it actually suggests that if they only do it when The General is not around then he does not tolerate Grisha bullying First Army. That he doesn’t think its ok for them to act like they are higher and mightier than those who are not Grisha and that he believes in humility even. Which I think is really interesting. This tracks with Nadia’s comment later in episode three when she says that General Kirigan insists that the Grisha eat peasant fare to keep them humble. Yet while he encourages humility he also makes sure that the Grisha have everything they need in order to flourish and he obviously cares a great deal about the Grisha, I feel like rising the Grisha up and making them strong has been pretty much his only drive and motivation over the hundreds of years since the fold was created. 

The other thing we learn which is repeated a couple of times by a few of the characters is that The General cannot bring down the Shadow Fold. In fact I think there are two conversations about it. The first between Inej, Jesper and Kaz when Jesper asks why the General hasn’t taken it down to which Inej replies ‘Have you ever put out fire by adding more fire?’ The other conversation is more flippant and is between Dubrov and Mikhael, where Mikhael sarcastically says the General is there to save the day and Dubrov asks if he’s going to tear down the fold. So on two occasions we have characters believing the General is powerful enough to fix the problem of the fold only for them to be corrected and told that he can’t. It seems like the show wants to make it very clear that the General will not be destroying the fold and I could be reaching here but this could be foreshadowing for later when we learn he doesn’t desire to bring down the fold.       

Of course even after the first episode the character of the Darkling still remains a bit of a mystery. He’s the kind of character where the more you learn about him the more questions you have. This tactic of giving us small pieces of information about him, just enough to keep you interested continues throughout the season and of course you have the twist in episode 5 where its revealed that he’s the ‘villain’. And yes I did put villain in quotation marks because I personally feel like its too simplistic a term to use for the character. I do feel like he’s more than just a two dimensional villain and there is alot of complexity to the character and his actions just for him to be considered the ‘bad guy’. 

So lets have a look at some of those actions and think about what might have been his motivations and what he might have been thinking and feeling. I want to start with one of the more controversial of his actions and as a warning this is a sensitive topic. One of the earlier things we find out about is that General Kirigan gifted Genya to the Queen. I’ll be honest when I first watched this scene I was so caught up in the new character and what was going on in the scene that I didn’t think much about Genya’s comment about being a gift to the Queen but when I thought more on it later I realised that it was a rather dark idea, that you could gift a person to another person. It becomes especially darker later when you find out what Genya suffered at the King’s hands. I kept wondering a few things, one being why the General would gift a child to the Queen in the first place, two whether he knew what the King was when he put Genya under the royal family’s care and three if he didn’t why he didn’t remove Genya when he discovered what was happening with the King. I do feel that we didn’t get enough information in the show (I don’t know if there’s more information in the books) to really answer these questions but I’ll give it my best shot. Firstly why would the General gift a child to the Queen? Well I actually think this one is easy to answer, he needed a spy within the Royal Family. We know that Aleksander has suffered and been betrayed by a king in the past. He won the Old King a war and in turn that King turned on not just Aleksander but on his people too. I feel like Aleksander was blindsided when this happened and he just didn’t see it coming and because of that his people were slaughtered. It would make sense then that the General would want to keep an eye on the royals and get a warning if they were planning on turning on Grisha again. I also think this is why they refer to Genya as a ‘gift’. That was just the wording the General used to manipulate the royals. Here’s a gift that I am granting you out of respect and to honour and please you, is going to go over a lot better than hey here’s a spy I want in your household. Genya is essentially the General’s trojan horse. As for it being Genya as oppose to someone else, like a trained adult Grisha, well I think that’s because it would be easier to get the royals to take a child into their household than an adult, even as a gift. They will be alot less suspicious of a child than they would an adult. Also they might bond with a child and therefore treat them as more of a confidante as time goes on. As well as that Genya had a very specific set of Grisha abilities that made her perfect for a vain Queen. I may be wrong on this one but thinking back to my history education I think I remember being taught it was fairly common during the time period if a young lady was discovered to have a particularly special talent, like say singing for example, they may be given as a gift to the Queen as this may gain favour for the maiden’s family if she is made a lady in waiting. So if I am right about that then whilst it might seem strange to us it may have been a fairly normal practise to the characters. I mean Alina didn’t seem shocked when Genya said she was a gift to the queen it was learning about the King that upset her. 

Also I do wonder if some of the reason why he placed her with the royal family was because he believed she wouldn’t fit in with the other Grisha, she does say that she is almost as rare as Alina. I don’t know for sure but maybe the General suspected she would struggle with being different from the other Grisha and so decided the best way to help her grow and flourish was by giving a special mission of her own. 

Ok so what about question 2? Did he know what kind of person the King was when he placed Genya under his care. In my opinion I don’t think he did. I am basing this on how he always seems to want to make Grisha safe and wants them to flourish and also due to his actions with Alina when things between them became more intimate, we know that consent is something Aleksander cares about. So to me it would be out of character for him considering how much he cares about the Grisha and consent for him to knowingly put Genya under the King’s care whilst having the knowledge of what would happen to her. I feel like he would also consider it as a disrespect towards Grisha from the King for him to harm a Grisha woman like that especially as she was ‘gifted’ to them. Also when Alina herself asks a similar question in episode 7 when she says ‘did you think Genya was safe when you placed her under the King’s watch?’ To me I think the Darkling looked somewhat upset that she would think that he would knowingly put Genya in that situation. However I do think that by the time Alina was discovered and brought to the Little Palace he was aware of what was going on with Genya and the King as he makes that comment about Alina remaining at the Little Palace with him to train undisturbed. The way he said undisturbed made me think he thought the King might decide he wanted Alina and the General was warning the King away, making it clear that if he wanted the fold destroyed he would have to leave Alina alone. His actions here in protecting Alina also make me think that he didn’t know at the time of placing Genya with the Royal family what would happen to her. He doesn’t want to make the same mistake with Alina that he made with Genya. 

As for number 3, why didn’t he remove Genya from the King’s care once he did find out about what the King was doing? I saw a few comments about this. All of them saying the same that because he didn’t get Genya out he was as bad as the King and was complicit in what happened to Genya. But I actually think it’s more complicated than that. For one thing technically he did remove Genya from the King’s care when he had her poison the king and then made her Corporalnik. Though obviously he didn’t do it immediately. We’ve got no timescale as to when he find out so who knows how long they were planning this. But also there was one line in episode 3 that I think answers this question best, when the General says ‘I may lead the Second Army, but the King is still the King.’ Whilst the General is powerful he still only has so much power over the King. He needed the King’s permission just  to have Alina at the Little Palace and for her to train, which is what the demonstration Alina had to go through in episode 3 was all about. I don’t think the General had the power to just walk into the Grande Palace and take back Genya. The only way he was getting Genya out of there was by killing the King. Also correct me if I am wrong but I feel like what the King was doing to Genya was a large part of the General’s motivation for poisoning the King. I mean we weren’t given much information about the King other than what he was doing to Genya, which made me think that’s why he was poisoned as we weren’t told about any other bad things the King had done that might lead to the General deciding to poison him. I think once he found out what the King was doing to Genya he allowed her to be the one to carry out the poisoning knowing that she would want revenge rather than trying to remove her right away and potentially causing tension with the royal family and also making it harder if not impossible for Genya to be the one to exact her revenge on the King. I guess what I am saying is its possible that Genya was the one who wanted to stay because she wanted to be the one to kill the King. I mean that’s the impression I got from her conversation with Alina where she says ‘I waited for years for my chance at revenge.’ For all we know General Kirigan might have offered to remove her from the Royal household and she might have told him she wanted to be the one to help him take down the King. Whatever his motivations were and however much he may or may not have known I think we can all agree that him ‘gifting’ Genya to the Queen was a mistake. I personally feel like it was more of a similar mistake to when Alina burned the maps. She had good intentions, she did it to protect someone she cared about, but in the end she caused others harm. With Alina she wanted to protect Mal and her whole unit was killed. With Kirigan I think he hoped a spy in the Royal household would protect the Grisha but in the end Genya was harmed by the King. One question I do have is whether Kirigan feels any guilt over what happened to Genya, whether he regrets his decision. I mean we did see him protect Alina from the King when he insisted she remain at the Little Palace. But was that just because it was Alina, the Sun Summoner? What if it were someone else. For example say the King came to the General and said he had taken a fancy to Marie, or Nadia or Zoya, and asked for them to be sent to the Grande Palace, would the General have agreed or would he have made some excuse as to why they couldn’t go, maybe even sent them on an assignment to protect them? There’s no way we can really know the answers to these questions as we just don’t know enough about the situation. All we know is that the General ultimately decided to get rid of the King but even then we don’t know for certain what his motivations for that were.   

I suppose you could say that him plotting against the king and conspiring with the apparat to usurp the throne was also a ‘bad guy’ move. But to be honest after telling us everything that the King did and just generally presenting the royal family in a negative light, I was surprised that Alina had such a problem with what the General did. To me it didn’t make sense for her to be upset and using that against him. I mean after learning what he did to Genya I was fully on the Darkling’s side when it came to killing the King. If they were trying to present this as a ‘villain’ move on the Darkling’s part then they did a poor job of it because I completely understood where he was coming from with that one. 

I felt a similar way with his other big ‘villain’ move when he expanded The Fold into Novokribirsk. At first I found it hard to have sympathy for them considering literally a couple of minutes before we were being shown that the soldiers were planning on murdering everyone on the skiff as soon as it docked. Couple that with the fact that Zlatan had arranged to assassinate Alina and once again I found myself on the Darkling’s side, I mean screw Zlatan and his soldiers. It was another case of it wasn’t until I rewatched it that I realised the villainous part of what the Darkling did was that there were civilians in the city that were also killed. To be honest I do wish that the show had done a better job of showing those civilians to really get across the horror of what the Darkling did. I mean on a rewatch I could see a few civilians mixed in with the soldiers but they were blended in so were hard to spot. I guess that was the purpose of Zoya having family in the city, to tell the viewer that there were innocents there but I just don’t think it made enough of an impact. I feel like if they had focussed in on actual civilians running and being swallowed by the darkness as well as the West Ravkan soldiers it would have had a bigger and more horrific impact. Instead it just kind of came across as the bad guys who had been built up as being bad throughout the season, who were rebels and who had tried to kill the main character, were finally eliminated. Lets be real if Alina had been the one to take out those soldiers we would all have been cheering. Lets talk about Game of Thrones for a moment as an example (spoiler alert for GOT here) however you felt about the way Dany’s descent into madness was written one thing the writers did right in The Bells episode was focus on the civilians that Dany was killing on the ground. They cut away from Dany completely and stayed on the ground with her victims and so you get that impact of what she has done, you see the horror in what she has done and I think this is something that would have worked well with Shadow and Bone. If they had just cut away from the skiff for a scene showing the civilians, the victims that were being effected by what the Darkling was doing then I think I would have been more shocked and effected by his actions. 

Ok so lets focus back in on the character and talk about what his motivations might have been for Novokribirsk. Why did he expand the Fold and take out the city? Well again I don’t think its hard to answer that question. We have to remember that he is a General that is fighting a war on three fronts. He’s fighting the Fjerdans on one side, the Shu Han on another and then the cherry on top is that the West Ravkans are rising up in rebellion. It’s already hard enough having to fight two enemy countries without also having to split your forces again to deal with a rebellion. The General knows that they are already overstretched without having to split their force again to deal with Zlatan. So if you look at it from his point of view striking down Zlatan now before the rebellion gets too large is a tactical military move. Also the fact that it is such a violent move will act as a deterrent for any remaining rebels who might think of trying to restart Zlatan’s movement. As well as to Fjerda and Shu Han, a this is what we do to our own people when they act against us so think about what we might do to you if you cross us, kind of deal. As for the innocent civilians that were in the city well I think the Darkling would convince himself that it was a numbers game. He might have killed hundreds of civilians but as far as he sees it he has spared thousands of lives that would have been lost if they had gone to war with West Ravka. By now the General knows the cost of war, so to him sacrificing a few hundred civilians is worth the price of saving thousands of his soldiers. Of course there is another motivation for the General, one that is less military strategy and more personal and emotionally driven. As Kaz says he was a man fuelled by vengeance. These soldiers standing on the dock had turned their back on Grisha and even worse than that they had tried to kill Alina. In the scene where The Darkling is talking to the Conductor and the Conductor admits to agreeing to assassinate Alina for a million kruge you can see how angry this makes The Darkling. This idea that someone would harm Alina for something as material as money is unforgivable to him. I said in a previous post that I wondered if the General always planned to expand the fold into Novokribirsk and I actually think the answer to that is no he didn’t. I actually think he was trying to make up his mind about what to do about Zlatan and his rebels, its possible he had a number of strategies to go with and was trying to decide which to choose, with expanding the fold being the most extreme of them. I actually think this here is the moment he decides to go with that plan. As he walks away from the Conductor and the Conductor asks ‘tell me how I can help’ The Darkling replies ‘you already have.’ I actually think what he meant here was you’ve helped me make up my mind. Them daring to harm Alina was the linchpin.         

Which brings me to the next part of this analysis, The Darkling’s manipulation and relationship with Alina. One of the great things the show did with the Darkling’s character was making him so complex and nuanced that the audience is in very much the same position as Alina when that reveal is made about Aleksander being the Black Heretic. Just like Alina (if you haven’t read the books) you are left sort of blindsided. Also just like Alina the audience is left wondering how much of it was a manipulation. Was all of it part of his manipulation? Or were there some moments that were real? Did he care at all about Alina or was he just interested in her power? 

Well I will say this, while I do think he always planned to manipulate her, I don’t think he ever planned or tried to use seduction as part of that manipulation. I think we have to remember that he was waiting for the Sun Summoner for hundreds of years and I think he spent that time creating his plan for her and her power. We also have to remember that when he was creating this plan he was expecting to find a child. I think his plan was to earn her trust as a mentor and build a confidence between them. I think he planned to bring her up with his ideals, to bring her up believing the best thing was to use the fold as a weapon, to bring her up to always want to protect the Grisha and to bring her up to embrace her power. However this whole plan had a wrench thrown in it when he does finally find Alina and she’s not a child, she’s a grown woman and one that has been taught her whole life that the Sun Summoner’s purpose is to tear down the fold. Changing the ideals and beliefs of an adult is alot harder to do than a child. On top of that I think he does develop real feelings for her. But these feelings get in the way of his plans, which makes everything all the more complicated for him.        

Lets go to the moment they first meet. I do think right from the get go he is intrigued by her and mean I think when you watch the scene you are so focused on Alina and what she must be going through and feeling, how scared she must be being dragged in front of this powerful General that she’s only ever heard stories about, that we don’t think about what this moment meant to the General. I mean he has been waiting for this woman for so long. She could be the solution to all of his problems, a fix for all of his mistakes. She has been his one glimmer of hope in the vast darkness of eternity. And now she’s here in front of him. Jessie said in an interview that Alina felt a connection to Aleksander right from the beginning, but I think he felt a connection to her too. I think you can even see the moment they make that connection and it’s when he takes her wrist in the tent.

Once he takes her wrist they never break eye contact even as he draws her sleeve up higher, their eyes are glued to each other. Then they both pause for a few beats and again just stare at each other.

The tension between them is so thick it almost makes you want to yell get a room at the screen. It’s like they both suddenly felt something click between them, a oh I know you, kind of moment. But I also feel like Aleksander is a bit surprised by this feeling, he wasn’t expecting it. They don’t break eye contact until The General cuts her arm releasing her power and causing her to look down in surprise. But almost immediately Alina brings her eyes back to his. One kind of cool little detail I did notice is that you can see the reflection of the beam of light in both their eyes.

It’s like a thread connecting them both, I don’t know why but it sort of reminds me of that red thread of fate legend. But also with them both having dark eyes the beam of light reflected in them sort of reminds me of yin and yang. The other thing of note is the General’s facial expression when he sees her power. Whilst everyone else is looking on is awe and surprise, he looks almost content, definitely happy and maybe even a bit hopeful. To me he kind of looks like he’s just had all his prayers answered. 

I think Kirigan is further intrigued by Alina in episode two when she talks back to him with that rant about maybe he hasn’t found anyone with her power because they didn’t want to be found. I think its the first time in a long while that anyone has stood up to him and not just said yes sir. I actually found it really comical how surprised he was when she said no to him. You just know he hasn’t heard that word much in recent lifetimes. But I do think this plants those first seeds of him seeing her as an equal to him. I think this is where he starts to see her as not someone to bow at his feet but someone who belongs at his side. Then when she confesses that she hid from the testers because she didn’t want to feel even more alone I think he really saw something of himself in her. I mean you can see his facial expression shift. I think this furthers his idea that she is meant to be at his side, that she is the same as him and I think even at this early stage he begins to hope that maybe she is someone who will understand him as no one else ever has. In that moment he is determined to make sure she doesn’t ever feel alone again and that is why he tells her ‘you are Grisha, you are not alone.’ You can see from the passion in his voice when he says it that this is something very personal to him. 

However despite this connection he feels to her and the care I think he has for her too, he does manipulate her. I think one of the more obvious manipulations happens in episode 4 when he takes her to the fountain. Something that is worth noting is that before setting out on their ride Aleksander takes off his Kefta. Their Keftas in the show are presented as their armour, so I think it was a very deliberate move on his part to sort of send the message to her, look I’m taking my armour off for you and I am being vulnerable and open to you. He furthers this by giving her his name to create this familiarity between them. Then he takes her to a place that is personal to him and then he really gets into his manipulation game. Here’s the thing though, I feel like most of the time when we think of manipulation we think of lies. But sometimes the best way to manipulate a person is through twisting the truth and I think this is what he does here. From their conversations so far I think he has figured out that Alina feels like an outsider and that she fears being alone and not fitting in. I definitely think he uses this information to manipulate her by telling her the story about how he used to go to the fountain as a boy after he discovered he was descended from the most hated Grisha in Ravka and wished to be anybody else. He knows that Alina will respond to this story, that it will make her feel sympathy for him and also make her feel like he is someone who understands her and therefore someone she can trust and rely on. He is also most definitely being deceitful in that he knows she thinks he is talking about being related to the Black Heretic when in fact he is the Black Heretic. However that doesn’t mean that what he said was untrue. I really do think he used to go there as a boy and wish to be someone else. As for being the descendant of the most hated Grisha in Ravka well my theory there is that he could actually be talking about Morozova. In the flashback in episode 7 Aleksander says that he and Baghra are his descendants and that means that if he created the amplifiers than Aleksander could create an army. Baghra gives the warning that Aleksander will die like Morozova. This makes me think that Morozova died in quite an unpleasant way, maybe even killed because he was feared and hated. I mean sure the Black Heretic is the most hated Grisha in all of Ravka now, but whose to say there wasn’t someone who came before him? Another Grisha who was hated like the Black Heretic is now. And maybe when Aleksander was a boy he discovered he was the descendant of Morozova and that was a burden on him, so much so that he wished he was someone else. 

I also think he was being genuine when he talked about how he is never seen as the solution only a reminder of the problem. I mean we’ve seen this ourselves in episode one its one of the first things we learn about him, that he can’t bring down the fold. I also think he’s being truthful when he says they always need someone to blame but again he’s twisting this truth. Alina thinks he means he is being unjustly blamed for not being able to fix the Fold but I think he actually is talking about how the Old King turned on him. I’m also sure over the years many people have blamed him and the Grisha for all the ills the world has suffered. But I do think he really meant it when he told her that he wouldn’t let the world make her the new Heretic. I think making sure that doesn’t happen is something he cares deeply about and I think it shows that he does have some care for her that he is so determined that she doesn’t go through what he did with the world turning on him. 

Slight diversion here but I do want to talk about whether or not this hatred the world has for him is justified, I mean he did create the fold and that fold has killed alot of people since its creation. So surely just the fact that he created the fold is enough to solidify him as the villain. Well I think that depends on why he created the fold. I mean we get three different versions of how and why the Fold was created. The first one we hear is in episode 4 when Alina tells us the story that is taught to children in school. They say that history is written by the victors, and whilst I personally don’t think there were any victors in the creation of the fold, The Black Heretic disappeared with its creation, presumed to be dead, so the Old King probably considered himself the victor and was left to decide the history. Therefore this story was most likely the Old King’s version of events. In this version of the story it talks about how the Darkling hungered for more power after being made the Kings military advisor and this made the king fear that the Darkling would try to overthrow him. So he put a bounty on his head and that of anyone who stood by him. Eventually the Heretic realised he was outnumbered and decided to create an army using forbidden science. But he failed, creating the fold and killing himself and countless others. The second version we get is from Baghra and it is similar to this one. She says that he created the Fold to use as a weapon, that he tried making an army with merzost and that he didn’t think about what that would do to the people who lived there, that it turned the men, women and children into the Volcra. That she had warned him there would be a price and that he didn’t listen. She also says that he took a noble’s name to hide after. Baghra’s version paints Aleksander as power hungry and as someone who will stop at nothing to get what he wants no matter the cost. But there are somethings I think its worth noting about her version. The first is that it is very brief, sort of like the cliff notes version, as they are in a hurry and she needs to get Alina out of there pronto. She doesn’t have time to go into all the details so she tells her enough to convince her to leave. Which brings me to my second point, Baghra’s motivation here is to get Alina to flee, so logically the best way to do that is to tell her the worst parts of the story and leave out anything that might make Alina feel sympathetic towards Aleksander and therefore hesitate about leaving. Another thing to remember is that Baghra whilst she might know somethings wasn’t there for a lot of it, she didn’t see Luda killed by the soldiers just knows that she was killed and she didn’t witness the confrontation between Aleksander and the soldiers. However what she did see likely had an effect on her. There is one moment in particular during Baghra’s story where she becomes emotional and choked up, there are tears in her eyes and you just know she is reliving a bad memory and that is when she talks about the women and children who were turned into the Volcra alongside the soldiers. Think for a moment about where Baghra was when the fold was created. She was inside the sanctuary with the women and children who were hiding from the soldiers. Which means that she would have witnessed them turning into the Volcra which must have been a horrifying scene. 

Eventually we get to episode 7 and we learn what really happened when the fold was created and the story is more tragic that first told. I mean first you have the whole situation with Luda. He obviously loved her deeply and I can only imagine how painful it must have been to see her murdered right in front of him and to feel that guilt of her dying because she was protecting him. I mean the words ‘just mortal’ now make me want to burst out crying anytime I hear them. Then he gets to the sanctuary and there’s all these Grisha there that need protecting. I think he feels a responsibility for them. Then his mother reminds him that they are not fighters, they make things. Which gives him the idea of creating an army using merzost. It is worth pointing out here that when telling the tale to Alina Baghra says that she warned Aleksander that there would be a price for using merzost, but when you actually see the conversation what she says is that whilst the small science feeds them merzost feeds on them. This suggests that the price to be paid is by him. So yes he was aware there would be a price but he assumed he would be the one paying it. I think if he knew that the people inside the sanctuary would be turned into Volcra he might not have gone through with it. This is another thing that makes the story even more tragic. Aleksander was driven to create his own army by his wish to protect his people, but he lost control and ended up destroying the very people he was trying so hard to protect. Another thing I noticed when Alina is telling the story of the heretic in episode four when she gets to the part about the Heretic being killed along with countless other you can hear what sound like screams in the background, also Aleksander looks really sad and guilty. It is also right after that he says he had devoted his life to undoing the great sin aka the creation of the fold. We see this look of guilt again when Alina confronts him in episode 7 about being the one to create the fold and therefore responsible for the deaths of her friends and parents. You see him look to the floor.

 I really do think that he has alot of guilt about the fold, he sees it as a mistake.  We see both Baghra and Alina make the claim, the fold was no mistake. But in episode 7 we learn that it was, Aleksander did not deliberately set out to create the fold. It wasn't his intention. It seems to me that he wanted to bend the will of the soldiers to his, to make them his own army, but I think he lost control due to the emotional state he was in at the time. I mean right before the soldiers were threatening to murder all the people inside, including his mother, and were mocking him about Luda’s death. He was grieving, he was angry and he was fearful for his people. We were told the fold was born out of greed but lets be real it was born out of grief and out of pain and anger and fear. 

So if he considers it such a big mistake why doesn’t he want to tear it down? Well I think its two fold. On one hand he might be afraid of what he’ll see. It’s like Kaz says to Zoya ‘it’s dangerous to go looking for the dead. What you see may haunt you for the rest of your days.’ Tearing down the fold will reveal all the destruction he caused to the land and to the people who lived there, he’d have to really confront what he did to his own people. But I think another motivator is what he said about undoing the great sin. I think he thinks if he makes the fold useful then at least it would have made the ‘deaths’ of his people mean something somehow. If creating the fold cost them their lives then maybe by making it a weapon that can be used to protect Grisha will make their ‘deaths’ a worthwhile sacrifice.

Ok so diversion over, lets go back to the Darklina relationship and how much of his actions were a manipulation. We’ve already established that he was being manipulative when taking her to the fountain and was telling her twisted truths. But if we stick with episode 4 there’s the scene where she comes to visit him at night in the war room. This whole scene I actually think he was being completely genuine. I don’t think any of it was part of his manipulation of her. First off is the way they are both dressed. They are both in their nightclothes which gives this idea of them being more intimate and more exposed to each other. I said above that the Kefta is seen as the Grisha’s armour, well here neither one of them are wearing their Kefta. They have both taken off their armour and are letting each other in. When Alina first finds him he is looking over the war map and you can see that he looks troubled, which you know fair enough considering he’s fighting a war on two fronts, having to deal with getting supplies through the fold and how to deal with the rebels. I love the way he looks at Alina when she comes in though, its just so soft and I feel like he feels instantly calmer when he sees her. But then he starts talking about how he’s been fighting the war alone and lost friends, about how their own people are turning on Grisha just as their kin once did and he is clearly thinking back to when the Old King was hunting him and his people. When the shadows start creeping in I think his pain is very real, I don’t think this was an act at all and once again if you listen closely you can hear those faint screams in the background. Then Alina dispels the shadows with her light and repeats his words back to him, ‘you are not alone.’ I think in this moment he truly does feel like he’s not alone. That he has found someone who understands him and who is his equal, who is like him. So he reaches out and cups her face and tells her he’s been waiting for her a long time. But then she pulls away and says she should go. I think Aleksander is afraid at this moment that he has frightened her away or that he misinterpreted the situation and he becomes very confused. So when she lingers at the door he goes to it and contemplates calling her back, just as she struggles with whether she should go back. But then she walks away and I think he thinks that maybe he was wrong and she doesn’t feel the same as him and he is a little angry with himself for losing focus and for feeling something for her and so he locks the door between them.  

Another question I asked myself was whether he always intended to put the stag collar on her and to control her powers. In my opinion this one has a bit of a yes and a no answer. I think he kept changing his mind. He clearly knew that by killing the Stag and putting the amplifier on her he would gain control of her powers. As I said early I think his first draft of the plan, shall we say, was to find the Sun Summoner as a child, to gain her trust as her mentor and teach her that the Fold is a weapon to be used as opposed to something that needs to be torn down. If he had found her as a child he would have had a lot more control over her and could shape her into what he wanted. However when they find the Sun Summoner she’s an adult and believes that its her fate to tear down the fold so he has to do a rework of his plan. On top of that he’s got this problem that she clearly doesn’t want to be the Sun Summoner she has no interest in saving anyone and she just wants to go back to being a mapmaker in the First Army. I think it is during that speech where she talks about him transferring her power to someone else that he starts to look into whether that is possible. But as he gets to know her more I think this changes again and he starts to feel things for her and I think he starts to believe that they want the same things and that maybe taking control of her powers won’t be necessary. I think the turning point for him is in episode 5. In the breakdown video of their first kiss Jessie says Alina goes to the General’s rooms because of what happened the night before in the war room where they had a moment in episode 4. Alina wasn’t sure what that moment meant and so she was seeking out Aleksander because she was intrigued and wanted to know if there was something there. Aleksander is once again clearly happy to see her but I do feel like there is some awkwardness there because of what happened in episode 4 and because he feels like he had misinterpreted things and maybe was too intense with her. It’s an interesting dynamic because as Jessie says in that video in this moment he is the vulnerable one. One moment in particular that I think shows this vulnerability is right after she helps him into his Kefta. Again going back to the whole the Kefta is armour thing. When Alina first enters the room like in episode 4 she is wearing her dressing gown she has come to him with her armour off so to speak. He is also out of his Kefta and this early conversation is playful where they are joking about Ivan and the Volcra. But after she puts the Kefta on him is when his mood shifts a little and you see him kind of tug the Kefta tighter around himself. I feel like he was trying to protect himself because the more time he spends with her the more vulnerable and confused he feels, he’s feeling alot of feelings he hasn’t felt in a long time and I think he knows by now that he is well on his way to falling in love with her and this scares him a bit because he has lost loves in the past. Him putting the Kefta back on is like him attempting to put that armour back on. There is another way of looking at it too though. It’s worth noting that on this occasion Alina is the one helping him put the armour/Kefta on, like she is the one giving him protection. Then he turns around Alina is alot closer then he anticipated and you can actually see him struggling to even form words. Then she leans in close to him like she's about to kiss him but changes her mind and walks into the other room leaving our poor guy more confused than ever. Then Alina makes the speech about how she finally feels like she is part of something bigger and that they can offer hope to the Grisha and to Ravkans. In this moment our girl was talking straight to our boy’s heart. I think this is all he has ever wanted to hear her say, especially the ‘we can offer hope.’ I think he really means it when he says it means a lot to him and you can hear the passion in his voice when he says ‘you mean a lot.’ Of course when she looks down he once again becomes afraid he’s overstepped, gone too far and so he tries to backtrack with ‘to everyone’. And well we all know what happens next. Alina kisses him and as he says after he is surprised and not many people do surprise him. I think there is something about this woman that just makes him lose all his senses until his whole world becomes about her. I feel like throughout episode 5 Aleksander feels like he’s gotten everything he’s ever wanted. Because maybe she does feel the same way he does, maybe she wants the same things he does, maybe he has found his life partner, another immortal who will always be by his side, finally he’ll never have to feel alone again. I think the moment I decided this fool was definitely in love with Alina was the look on his face when she enters the room and he sees her in his colours for the first time. After watching her demonstration I think he does see her as his equal. He’s in complete awe of her and the only time he looks away is to look at the Monarchs to see their reaction. Basically from the moment Alina kisses him to this moment where he is seeing her take command of the room and truly showing her power, having people bow to her, Aleksander is living his best life, he’s on cloud nine. 

Then he gets word that someone has located the stag. We don’t see the scene where he gets informed of this but you can imagine he probably can’t believe his luck. Not only are things perfect between him and Alina but now someone has found the amplifier. But I feel like he gets a bit of a reality check when he discovers that Mal is the one who found the stag and he’s now here in the Little Palace. I feel like Aleksander sort of came crashing down to earth here and realised he might have a bit of a problem. Once again he’s having to do a quick, rapid, rework of his plan. Which brings us to another moment where the Darkling is being manipulative. He uses Mal to find out what Alina’s favourite flower is. I mean I suppose you could argue that he’s only doing what every other person does when they want to get a gift for their crush and don’t know what would be best, ask the best friend. But all jokes aside this move was clearly calculative on The Darkling’s part. But I couldn’t help but wonder why he decided to use the Irises. What was his motivation here. It’s clear that he has already won Alina over seeing as she was kissing him not to long ago. Well I said earlier that I think he changed his mind about using the collar on her. I do think after their conversation in episode 2 where she talks about how she didn’t want any of it and could he transfer it he thought she was going to be a problem and difficult so maybe he should look into finding a way of controlling her power. In the beginning she was focussed on her old life and I feel like she didn’t have much loyalty or care for the Grisha, it took her awhile to accept who she was and she was also struggling to use her powers. All she wanted was to go back to Mal and I think this may be why, or at least part of the reason why The General takes their letters. For one he didn’t want her to go back to him and so making her think that Mal didn’t care would encourage her stay put and discourage any ideas of leaving. I mean given her comment in episode 3 where Alina asks Genya if anyone had ever escaped the Little Palace, which the General overheard, its not that surprising that he would decide to confiscate any of her correspondence out of the Palace in case she was organising a breakout with Mal. Secondly as I said she was having trouble using her powers and I think after reading the letters maybe he figures out that its because of Mal that she is struggling, so he either stopped the letters because he wanted her to continue feeling abandoned by Mal and therefore he was hoping she would shift her dependence onto him or because he knew if she let go of Mal then she would be able to control her power more and more power for Alina means more power for him to control. This was all very manipulative on his part and obviously not the actions of someone who cares about Alina’s feelings but at this point she wasn’t Alina to him she was the Sun Summoner, a tool to be used and he was thinking as a General who had people and a whole country to protect and if that meant putting the collar on this stranger then so be it. I think he set out to win her trust to make it easier for him to put that collar on her when the time came. But then as he got to know her more, started catching feelings for her and after their conversation in episode 5, I think he decided that maybe he wouldn’t need to use the collar after all. My theory is that he got her the flowers and he took her to the war room instead of the dinner because he was planning to tell her some of the truth. I don’t think he was going to tell her about who he really was and about him being the Fold’s creator but I do think its possible that he intended to tell her about the Stag and maybe even try to convince her about using the Fold as a weapon. So I think he just wanted to put her in as good a mood as he could if that makes sense, sweeten her up before he brought it up. Also telling her about the Stag means telling her about Mal. I think he actually felt a little threatened by Mal because having read their letters he knows how she feels about Mal. So he wants her attention as much on him as possible. I think he very much felt like his dream was slipping away. As for the make out on the war table moment, that could have also been an attempt to keep her sweet on him like the irises. But as I’ve said before Aleksander seems to lose all his senses when he’s with Alina. When he’s with her the only thing he’s focused on is her, and I personally think it was just a case of he really wanted to kiss her. Some of it might also have been to reassure himself that those feelings between them were real, especially now that Mal has shown up. I mean they are both so giddy and happy when they break apart for him to answer the door that I find it difficult to believe that the whole kiss was a cold manipulation, he was grinning like a school boy. My favourite kiss between them (as steamy as their make out session was) was actually the one where he comes back to kiss her one last time. This is right after he has learnt that she was the target of an attack that happened inside of his Palace, which is the one place where his people are supposed to be safe. I think in that moment he just needed to reassure himself that she is safe, you can see his desperation in the kiss. There was just something so soft and pure about it. If I am sure about anything is that one was definitely real, I may have small doubts about the other kisses but that one kiss was 100% true.   

Things only get worse for Aleksander in episode 6 when he realises that Alina is missing. I think how he behaves in this episode tells us alot about how he really feels about Alina. He becomes somewhat unhinged when she goes missing and only becomes more so the longer she is gone from him. His sole focus is on her and finding her, to the point where he kind of forgets about anything else as we see when Fedyor comes to report about Nina, The General has completely forgotten there were other missions and things he was dealing with. Later when he calls Zoya to tell her to prepare a team to track down ‘Alina’s abductors’ and she puts forward the suggestion that Alina ran by herself, he doesn’t even consider it a possibility. The idea that she would willingly leave him is just too hard for him to wrap his head around because as he says to Zoya he is sure he knows exactly how she feels. He is usually the composed, unfazed General but he very much snaps at this moment and I think reveals more than he intended to Zoya, who clearly looks surprised by his outburst. He even says himself with Alina gone he’s not himself, he’s feeling unbalanced and tense without her. So when Zoya offers to help him relax he tells her that he’ll relax when he has Alina. I think its important as well that he says Alina and not the Sun Summoner. It’s not the Sun Summoner he’s lost without its Alina. When he finally catches up with Kaz and is told that Alina fled on her own you can see how shocked he is at this.

 And even then he has trouble believing it because he once again asks where she is and its not until the line ‘It was pretty clear she wasn’t interested in being a captive any more’ that it begins to set in for him and you see his shadows creep in. After you can see the heartbreak set in and then the anger.

 This anger only grows when he learns that she is with Mal and that she is going after the Stag. I think he very much feels like everything has been snatched away from him in a blink of an eye. I think he is angry that he was blindsided by it and he’s angry that he let his feelings for her cloud his judgement and distract him from his plans. Because of his feelings for her he might now have ruined all his plans and, as he would see it, risked the safety of the Grisha in doing so. Naturally its back to plan A of forcing the collar on her, because no matter how he feels about her he can’t let that distract him from his mission to protect the Grisha again. 

However no matter how angry he is at her and how hurt is is that she ran from him, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about her. I see alot of arguments that he can’t have loved Alina because you can’t hurt someone you love like he did when he put the collar on her. But I’m calling BS on that one now because the people you love are the people who can hurt you the most, especially when they are hurt or angry. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you it just means they are human and make mistakes. However that doesn’t mean you should tolerate those mistakes or brush them under the rug, absolutely they should be called out for them and held accountable for them and I am really glad that Alina does do this. The Darkling's anger at her is what drives him to find her and to kill the stag himself so he can collar her and I think this anger builds up whilst he is away from her, again showing how unhinged he has become without her. But I feel like some of that anger ebbs away a bit when he does find her and once she is in front of him again. That moment when he finds her and the stag and Mal is hurt and he calls out to her that she can’t save them, that as powerful as she is she does not have the power to heal. He is obviously thinking back to Luda here. Because as powerful as he was he was not powerful enough to save her, in that moment he was utterly powerless to keep her from dying. I think despite how hurt he is he cares about her too much to watch her go through the same pain and grief he did which is why he offers to heal Mal if she gives him the Stag. The similarities between the two scenes (the one with Alina, mal and the Stag and the one with Aleksander, Luda and the king’s men) are clear and I think really have an effect on Aleksander. I think when he says that Mal was only protecting Miss Starkov there are two interesting points. One is the use of the term Miss Starkov. This is a name he mostly called her when they barely knew each other and I think he is trying to distance himself from her again by making things more formal between them. The other thing is that it draws a parallel between both Mal and Luda. Both Mal and Luda were just trying to protect the people they love and Aleksander clearly doesn’t think either one of them deserved to die for it so he lets Mal live. 

Another scene I want to talk about real quick is the one right before he puts the collar on her. This scene is eerily similar to when they first meet. Once again they are back in a tent. Once again the scene starts with the Darkling’s back to her and with Alina in the hands of a guard/s. I said before that I think alot of the reason why he decides to collar her is because she doesn’t share his views and he feels like he needs to control her so he can weaponize the fold and save his people. That he was angry at himself for believing she might be his equal and share his goals. I think this scene where he talks to her shows that. The fact that he lowers himself to her level I think shows that he does see her as an equal. Then he talks about how together they could end all wars and protect their own and asks isn’t that what she wants. I think he is still clinging to that belief that he wasn’t wrong and that they did want the same things and maybe some part of him was still hoping he might not need to use the collar. But then she asks if they are going to tear down the fold and you can see the disappointment on his face because he understands now that she won’t see it his way. So instead he deflects the question and I think this is the moment that cements his choice to collar her.  

Further evidence that he does still care about Alina comes when he puts the collar on her. This is obviously a very distressing and gruesome scene. What he is doing is obviously wrong and I think deep down he knows it too. He can’t bear to look at her as it happens and so her turns away and its the second time he does as he also looks away in guilt when he threatens Mal. I don’t think he can handle her looking at him like he’s a monster and he can’t cope with seeing the betrayal and hurt in her eyes. It is also worth noting that I think part of the reason why he goes through with putting the amplifier on her is like he said to Mal, he thinks that over the years she will come to forgive him. Now this conversation where he talks about how she might take years to forgive him but he had patience also tells us that the fact that he is hoping for forgiveness shows that he knows what he is doing to her is wrong, that it is something that will require forgiveness. When he comes to see her later in her tent, can we just talk for a moment how nice that tent was, I mean he really went all out for her with lace and flowers like he somehow thought that would make up for him fusing a antler into her collar bone, but again even the fact that he gives her all these nice things shows that he wants that forgiveness and the way he approaches her as well is cautiously, like you would a wounded animal. He knows he’s hurt her and made her angry so he comes in with sweet words of compliments, telling her how special she is, and very quickly comes to know that she’s not having any of it. I mean that look she gives him when he first comes in, if looks could kill he’d be six feet under now. But I really do think he did go to her just because he wanted to talk to her, despite his words to Mal about having the patience to wait however many years it will take for her to forgive him, he wants to fix things between them now. He doesn’t want her to be angry with him and he doesn’t want her to be in pain. He’s desperate to get back what they had in episode 5. Also I think its important that we remember that until that conversation with her in the tent he didn’t know that she had discovered who he really was, so when she ran he believed that she had ran because she wanted to be with Mal which I think contributed to his anger at her and his feeling of betrayal. He couldn’t understand why she would want to be with someone who he believes never appreciated who she really was and who is mortal and will eventually just be a blip in her very long lifetime, instead of being with him who is her equal and immortal like her. This is another occasion where I feel like he gets a bit of a reality check and realises that she didn’t run because of Mal, she ran because of his own lies. So all that anger he felt at her ‘betrayal’ was unjust. But then I think he feels a different sense of betrayal in how easily she believed Baghra. I mean looking at it from his point of view she didn’t come to him and ask for his side of the story or demand an explanation she just trusted Baghra and ran. He is clearly desperate to make her understand and you can see his composure begin to fail as he stands and tells her that everything he is ever done has been to make Grisha and Ravka safer. I really do think that line was true, he really does believe that what he’s doing is the right thing for his people and his country. You can feel his frustration and desperation continuing to build throughout the scene as he pretty much pleads with her to understand and can see that she doesn’t. I think the part that really hurts him though is when she says ‘we could have had this, all of it. You could have made me your equal, instead you made me this.’ This line is so powerful and I think its at this moment that he realises just how badly he has messed up. To be told that his actions are the reason why he hasn’t got her, the one thing he wants more than anything else in the world right now. Also the line of making her his equal I think would have hit him hard because he did see her as his equal and so I think he’s surprised that she believes that he didn’t make her his equal and then when she says ‘instead you made me this’ he realises that whilst he might have seen her as his equal he wasn’t treating her as one. His need for control made her a slave to him and I really think that in this moment he is realising that, I genuinely think this dumbass got so caught up in his own dream of what the two of them together could be that he didn’t realise that whilst he thought he was protecting her and helping her grow into this saviour for their people he was taking away her choices and he was making her feel like a captive, the dummy didn’t think to ask how she felt about any of it because he assumed he already knew, it was the same as what he wanted, to protect their country and people. So his anger when he says the line ‘fine make me your villain’ isn’t just directed at her but himself too. It’s not just his hurt and anger that she doesn’t understand his reasons and that she isn’t seeing it his way, it’s also because he knows it was his own actions that lead him to that moment when the woman he loves is standing in front of him and looking at him like he is a monster. He can’t go back and he can’t undo it and worse than that he can’t seem to get her to understand why he did it. I think he feels trapped and so the only thing he can be to her now is her villain. 

It’s after this conversation that his demeanour towards her changes and you can see that he sort of stops trying to win her over. He’s not as gentle with her, I mean he ties her to the deck of the skiff and answers mockingly when she points out it’s not a good look for him with the ambassadors. I did notice though that after that conversation he seems to have trouble looking at her. When they are walking to the skiff and he tells her that Mal is being held captive and will be released if she does her part, he isn’t looking at her but straight ahead and this is something he does alot when he is threatening Mal. The moment when he takes off her cloak he does glance down at her. I seen alot of debate about that scene, as it does come across as having a bit of sexual tension in it and some people thought it was a rather sexy scene whereas others pointed out that he was holding her captive and mocking her. Me personally I actually think its both. People talk about how it has to be one or the other. But yes in that scene he is holding her captive and that part’s not sexy but there is a moment where I feel like he still feels that draw to her. Before reaching up to undo her cloak it seems to me like a hesitates for a moment. When he goes to whisper in her ear that he doubts they’ll notice her feet and I think he feels that pull and that attraction to her and he is really close to her, I don’t think he’s been that close to her since the war room in episode 5. You can see him lean slightly towards her and I think he really is struggling with the desire he feels for her which is why he steps back with the cloak rather forcefully, like he's having to force himself away from her again. It kind of reminded me of the scene where she helped him into his Kefta. So no the situation itself is not sexy but I do still think there is tension in the scene because the attraction they feel for each other didn’t just disappear despite how hurt and angry they are at each other. It’s like their words are saying one thing but their body language is saying another. 

When they are in the Fold again at first The Darkling avoids looking at her particularly when he is forcing her to use her power to create the tunnel of light. His focus is on The Fold. Again I think this shows that he is determined to not let his feelings for her get in the way for his goals, yet he knows he is taking away her free will and her choice and that’s hurting her so he can’t really stand to look at her. Its the same when she asks to tear down the fold and he answers why would they destroy the best weapon they have. Again he doesn’t look at her when he says it because he knows that he deceived her by letting her believe that was what they were going to do and he doesn’t want to see the disappointment and betrayal in her eyes. Again this is something he does alot and look, I love The Darkling’s character, I do, but that doesn’t mean I can’t recognise his flaws and for me I kind of saw him as a coward for this. I mean if you are going to deceive and manipulate a person and force them to do something you know they don’t want to do, then at least have the decency to look at them. He does however look at her when she tries to save Novokribirsk after he lets the fold consume it. He stops her and you can see the anger when he says they are traitors who tried to kill her and that this action was retribution. I think he hates the fact that she is trying to save the very people who tried to hurt her. But again he looks away from her when he sees the way she is looking at him and how horrified she is by what he has done. 

Their very last interaction is when she uses the dagger to cut the amplifier from his hand and shows him what she is and that she’s the one the stag chose. He sees this as her betraying their people which is interesting because at the end of the episode Alina says that Kirigan turned on his own people. So they both believe the other turned on their own people, the problem here is that I feel like Alina feels more loyalty towards the non Grisha Ravkans, she still sees them as more her people due to spending more time as just a ordinary mapmaker then as Grisha but the Darkling has more loyalty towards the Grisha. Its like how you know parents aren’t suppose to have a favourite child but we all know they do. Well I feel like the Ravkans are Alina’s favourite child and the Grisha are the Darkling’s. Of course they still care about the other but their ‘favourite’ is their priority if that makes sense. By the end of the season when we see the Darkling emerge from the fold I think he is feeling very angry and very betrayed by Alina, however I actually think the fact that she bested him has only made him look at her as even more of an equal than before. Not only is she someone who will stand up to him but now she has become someone who can match him. I do think he’s in this very complicated situation where he is on an opposite to the person he believes is essentially his soulmate. However as much as I think he does love her I still think he will put his people above her and so will continue to act in what he considers to be the best interests of his people. It also seems like he’s got some new powers and was able to create shadow soldiers which again is interesting because he basically just accomplished what he meant to do in the first place when he created the fold, he’s created his own army. 

Ok so that’s all for now to be honest I could talk about the Darkling forever but I think this is already long enough so if you have read all the way to the end thank you for your time. I am thinking of doing other character analysis posts so keep an eye for that if its something that interests you, I think I might do Alina next. I’ll also post my thoughts on the book once I’ve read it.        

[yoonjinkooked]

On Call  | part 1

moodboard by the lovely and amazing @flajka

Pairing: Y/N / Jungkook

Rating: 18+

Genre: Strangers to lovers / Rom-Com / Humor / Smut

Warnings for part 1: ranting, mentions of blood and injuries, good ass flirting, lots of good looking doctors, mentions of sex. The explicit stuff is saved for part two. 

General warnings:  (explicit sex, cursing, more to be added)

Word Count: 5147 +

Summary: After a catastrophic first date, you end up leaving the hospital angry, tired and date-less. Hoping to have a drink or five, you end up in a nearby bar, sitting next to the same doctor who caught your eye earlier.

A/N: I had to split it into two parts. I REALLY did not want to do that but I am absolutely not happy with how I wrote a large chunk of this, so I am writing it all over again. I can’t keep you waiting anymore so I’ll split this one. The smutty stuff comes in the next chapter. 

I’m sorry for the long wait, life got in the way. I will have a day off before the weekend so I think I’ll manage to finish it then. To make it more specific - Part 2 by Sunday!

Let me know what you guys think! :)

First dates are horrible.

Even if they’re going well, even if you end up meeting the love of your life, that first date is always going to be horrible, at least just a little bit.

You’ve had shitty first dates and some not so shitty first dates but you’ve never had something that you’d call a traumatic first date. Until today.

Giving Tinder a shot wasn’t something that you really wanted to do. Dating apps were always something you were skeptical about, despite having a good friend who had met his current fiancé over one of said apps. A place for horny people who want easy sex – that’s what those dating apps were for you.

You have refused to install one, until you have become just that – a horny person who wants easy sex. Two glasses of wine and three dick pics later, you have actually managed to find someone who seemed… okay. Good looking, but not loud about it. No dick pics – big bonus. And he actually managed to avoid cheesy pickup lines and just… asked you to meet up for coffee. So, you have decided to give Adam a shot. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? Save from horror movie scenarios, of course.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, Adam could turn out to be an idiot who doesn’t watch where he’s walking and he could end up stepping into an open manhole in the middle of the street, grabbing you by the hand as he fell, knocking you on the ground in the process, all while still managing to break his leg.

But what kind of bad luck would you need to have for that to happen?

Apparently, the amount of bad luck you have is sufficient. Adam did indeed fall into a manhole but not before grabbing hold of you while trying to keep himself balanced – you were too surprised to react in any way, so not only did he end up falling but so did you, hitting your head on the pavement and scratching your arm on concrete.

All you can remember clearly are his yells and blood. The rest is a blur, from the point of you calling 911 to you sitting here, in a hospital, waiting to be checked by a doctor.

In the history of bad first dates, this has to be the runner-up, at the very least. All of that before the biggest plot twist of the night – the arrival of Adam’s girlfriend. The girl was worried sick and the moment you saw her throw herself onto a broken Adam, you silently decided to not go into his room after all.

At least the cut on your hand isn’t too bad – it stopped bleeding over the last few minutes and other than a light headache and an immense feeling of embarrassment, you’re doing pretty okay. Well, you’re also annoyed with waiting in a very crowded waiting room – apparently your situation is not serious enough to earn you a room, bed or even a simple chair.

“Taehyung, go check on him,” the voice belongs to a doctor walking past you, obviously giving some instructions. He’s handsome as hell, tall and with dark hair – much better looking than Adam. He probably watches where he’s walking too. “Check back with me when you’re done, okay?”

“Excuse me,” he turns around when you call him, finally deciding to no longer wait in silence. “Can someone tell me where to go or what to do? I have been waiting for more than an hour.”

“What are you here for?” he ask as his eyes go over you quickly, narrowing down on your arm. “Bad fall?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “I hit my head a bit too. I feel okay though.”

“Any pain?” he asks, walking closer to you. Close enough to make you swallow a lump because holy fuck, he is really good looking.

“Just a regular headache kind of pain,” you explain. “And my arm does hurt a bit too.”

“I’ll have a nurse clean that up,” he tells me. “What’s your name?” he asks.

“Y/N,” you force a smile. “Y/L/N Y/N.”

“Okay Y/N, please do what I say. Lift your right arm up,” he instructs and you do as he said. “Put it down. Now please stick your tongue out,” you follow his lead, even though you feel like a bit like an idiot, sticking your tongue out in the middle of a hospital waiting room. “Good. Now please follow my finger – just with your eyes, don’t move your head. Okay?” you follow his finger left to right, gulping yet again as you become aware of very direct eye contact. You repeat a mantra in your head, reminding yourself that it’s literally his job to look at you.

“Just a weak headache you say?”

“Well, if we ignore the growing death wish, yes,” he frowns at your tragic joke, causing you to smile and shake your head. It’s too complicated to explain anyways.

“You seem to be doing just fine, Y/N,” he reassures you. “If you feel any pain, just a regular pain medication should help. If your headache doesn’t leave you by tomorrow night, I’d advise you to come back here for a checkup. But for now, you don’t need a CT. I’ll just have… Jimin!” he calls for someone. And boy oh boy, it’s someone alright - a very good looking, blonde young man in blue scrubs walks towards us. “Jimin, please clean up her wound and see if stitches are needed,” he tells him.

“Sure thing, Dr. Kim,” Jimin smiles at the doctor.

“And Y/N, remember, if you feel anything unusual, come back here. Okay?” Dr. Kim asks.

“Okay,” you nod obediently, knowing damn well you will already be on your way back to the hospital the second you feel anything out of the ordinary.

“Follow me, Miss Y/N,” Jimin instructs you with a smile and you follow him. As you do, you can’t help but wonder if every damn person in this hospital is good looking – both he and Dr. Kim could be supermodels if they really wanted to. Or maybe they aren’t that good looking and you’ve just hit my head a bit too hard.

“MOVE!” you jump up when a yell carries through the hallway. Before you can even react, Jimin is grabbing your intact hand and pulling you to the side. Backed up against the wall, you watch in shock the scene that unfolds before you. A group of people is literally running through the hallway with a stretcher between them. “Move, move, move!” you realize now who is yelling – it’s the doctor who is all but lying on the stretcher. You don’t see much as they pass you – it’s a blur of people, different colored scrubs and blood. What you do see is that a doctor is literally above the patient, who is lying on the stretcher, his hands too bloody for you to see and understand what the hell he is doing. And then they’re gone, taking a turn to the right at the end of the hallway. You can still hear him yelling commands, his voice fainter by the second.

“Holy shit.”

“Yes,” Jimin chuckles. “Just another day at the office,” he starts walking again and not knowing what else to do, you just follow him, avoiding stepping onto the droplets of blood that coat the floor. It looks like that’s also a part of their every day schedule.

“Isn’t that patient more important than I am?” you wonder. “I mean, this is just a scratch. I could probably even clean it up at home, he looks like he needs more help than I do.

“Miss Y/N, there were three nurses around that stretcher,” Jimin smiles back at you. “If I go there, I would do more harm than help. Doctor Jeon and the team can handle it.”

Agreeing with his subtle suggestion that this really is none of your business, you shut up and follow him. Finally, you have a chance to sit down when the two of you end up in a small office, equipped with what one would call basic doctor supplies. You wait as Jimin collects what he needs, before he turns on the light and takes a good look at your injured arm.

“Ouch, that’s not pretty. Did you fall?”

The snort that leaves you causes him to raise his eyebrows in confusion. “You could say that. My date fell into a manhole,” you almost chuckle when I see Jimin’s eyes go wide in surprise. Honestly, you would have laughed hard if Adam didn’t actually get seriously injured. “And nearly dragged me into it with him.”

“That sounds like… a bad date,” he comments.

“Yeah. First date too,” the grimace on Jimin’s face says it all. “We barely even shook hands before he was falling down. I guess I’m gonna go celibate now. Did I mention his girlfriend showed up at the hospital?”

“Ouch,” he comments. Before you could respond, the touch of an alcohol soaked swab makes your hand flinch as Jimin start’s cleaning your injurty. “You are having a rough night.”

“More like a rough year,” you mumble.

“Miss Y/N, you need to look at the bright side,” Jimin smiles at you. It’s easy for him to say – he strikes you as a big ball of fluff and positive. You, on the other hand, are a walking disaster. “After the rain comes the rainbow. Karma has her way of doing things.”

“If you say so.”

Jimin works in silence while you stare at the floor and contemplate your life, deciding to leave the hospital as soon as he is done with fixing you up. A part of you wanted to find Adam and his girl, cause a scene and tell her to get away from him. Hell, if you had more energy, you would have gone with that plan. Now you just want to leave and get yourself a drink. Or five. When Jimin finished with cleaning your arm and applying some cream, you smile and thank him, asking for directions to the nearest bar.  

 After spending a few minutes wondering whether or not you should call your best friend and ask him to join, you have reached the conclusion that Hoseok’s bright and cheerful personality is not something that you need tonight.

He would chuckle at the story, telling you to look on the bright side, to be glad your leg wasn’t broken and that you got out before you ended up being ‘the other woman’. And while all of that would be absolutely correct, you do not need a ‘cheer up, buddy’ tonight. What you need is a decent amount of time to be alone and gloomy, wallow in self-pity and maybe drown in alcohol. With the day you’ve had, you deserve it – all of it.

“You sure you want another one?” the bartender asks when you point to the almost empty glass of Long Island Iced Tea in front of you – that’s what he served when you asked for a ‘drink that may end up killing you’. “Those things are pretty strong. You’re not driving, are you?” he asks, forcing you to make a mental note to tip him well because he’s actually worried about my well-being, even if I’m not.

“Not driving. And trust me, these are not nearly as effective as I want them to be.”

“Drinking to forget?” he’s asking too many question but he is getting the drink ready, so you take it.

“Hopefully.”

You have deleted Tinder the moment you sat down at the bar. It’s impossible to know when you’ll be ready to try again but one thing is certain - you won’t be trying on some cursed, shitty app. From this point on, you will go through my life without focusing on men and dick. You solemnly swear that you will not look for anything – in fact, you will wait for it to come on its own. And if it doesn’t, well, life goes on. With a job you like and a fairly cool group of friends, even an occasional hobby, you’ll have plenty of things to keep yourself occupied.

But. No. More. Men.

“Evening, doc!” the bartender’s cheerful voice snaps me you of a daze. “The usual?”

“Yep,” the voice next to you speaks up and against better judgment, you turn my head to look at him. As he sits down in the chair next to yours, you realize this is the same doctor that was yelling his way through the hallway earlier. Looking away from him, you decide not to draw attention to yourself. No particular reason why – attention is just the last thing on your mind now.

“Rough day today, doc?”

“No rougher than usual,” he chuckles. You focus on your drink, pushing the lemon around the glass with a straw, kind of pretending that it’s Adam and you are pushing him around. “You seem like you’ve had a worse day, what the heck happened to your arm?” it takes you a second to realize that the doctor is directing the question your way.

“I was dragged to the ground,” you mumble, not bothering to look his way. “Hurt my arm and hit my head.”

“Is your head okay?” he asks and even without looking at him, you know he is asking this as a doctor and not just a guy at the bar – there is literally a change in his tone, which suddenly turned serious.

“One of your colleagues checked it out and unfortunately, my head is okay,” you reply.

“You look way too young to sound so pessimistic,” he chuckles and you turn to him, slightly annoyed with his pestering. The earlier theory you had on how every employee of the hospital across the street is handsome is proven to be true because holy crap, he’s hot. You didn’t get a chance to notice it when he flew past on the stretcher earlier but now, even with the dim lights of the bar you’re at, you can see him much clearer. His face is gorgeous, flawless, with big brown eyes looking at me and a tiny smile on his lips. From what you can see, his physique is equally impressive. He is, simply put, hot as hell.

“I’m also way too sober for this conversation.”

If you had met him yesterday, who knows, maybe it would have ended with an offer to suck him off in the back alley – that’s how hot he is. But today sucks. Therefore, you won’t.

“Seems like you’re going to fix that soon enough,” he chuckles at you, probably because you are downing the drink much faster than one should down such a strong cocktail. “As a doctor, I’m obliged to tell you that you should hold back on your drinks if you’ve suffered a hit to the head.”

“How ‘bout a hit to my pride?” you turn on the stool to look at him, challenging him.  It’s evident that he is simply trying to have a conversation. His tone wasn’t condescending either – it was more of a good natured suggestion than a doctor’s advice. Still, it annoyed you, just a little. “That one can hurt just as hard as a hit to the head, can it not?”

“It can,” he nods his head. “But what can possibly be that bad?” he asks.

Do you speak up or keep your mouth shut?

To hell with it. You need to rant, are almost drunk and will never see him again.

“Had a date today,” you pause to take a sip of my drink. “First date. He fell into an open manhole.”

“Wait, is that the dude with the girlfriend?” he asks and you turn to him so fast, you think your neck muscle is strained. “Are you the girl who made a scene?”

“No I didn’t!” you gasp, shocked that he’d even suggest something like that. “I haven’t said a word to him! The girl showed up, I put two and two together, went to get my hand fixed and ended up here.”

“Who fixed your arm?” he asks, frowning in suspicion.

“A very hot blonde guy.”

“Jimin,” he chuckles and I nod my head, remembering the name now. “That explains a lot.”

“That explains what?” you ask, momentarily distracted when you notice the bartender serving the doctor his drink – mineral water. Sure, there’s ice and two slices of lemon in the glass but it is just mineral water. If that’s his regular drink, you don’t even want to know what he drinks when he’s feeling a bit tamer.

“Jimin has a habit of meddling into people’s lives a bit too often,” the doctor chuckles and a lump forms in your throat as you focus on his side profile – clear skin, chiseled jaw, cute nose and messy hair. Even his speech, now a bit slower than earlier, is hot. “He must have put two and two together because from what I’ve heard, he asked the dude where his date was, right in front of the girlfriend,” he tells you.

“Serves him right,” a dark chuckle leaves you as you realize just how thankful you are for the overly meddling nurse who did my work in your stead.

“The chick flipped and caused a ruckus,” the doctor continues. “With the way you’ve been sulking at the bar, I thought it might have been you. Stupid, I know – you even said it was a first date.”

“I’m just glad that’s behind me,” you mumble in response. “Or, will be, when I finish this drink.”

“The guy is a dick,” the bartender suddenly joins in, having obviously listened to your conversation. You can’t blame the guy – you’re sitting right in front of him. “You seem like a decent girl,” he tells you. “Why would you waste time on cheaters when you have nice guys like Doctor Jeon around?” he hits the doctor on the shoulder, hard, beaming down at him.

“You’ve always been a bad wing-man Chris, but I think you might have just outdone yourself.”

“Doctor Jeon isn’t even drinking,” you smile at the bartender. “I’m sure he’s not interested.”

“Doctor Jeon needs to drive home and hopefully get there in one piece,” the doctor laughs. “And please just call me Jungkook – the doctor thing is getting a bit weird,” he adds, obviously ignoring your comment that he isn’t interested. Could it mean that… no, probably not.

“Take a cab, Jungkook,” you tell him, turning around to stare at the shelves full of drinks, expensive and cheap, dark and colorful. Looking directly at him would be a very bad idea. “Life’s too short.”

“Mineral water is just fine,” you can hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, I might get called back to the hospital tonight. Probably not, but I never know. I’d rather be able to help someone than drunk.”

“Did you save that guy from today?” you ask, this time risking at all and looking at him, seeing the confusion on his heavenly face. “The one on the stretcher, the guy you were all but sitting on?”

“Ah,” he nods his head in understanding. “He’s in intensive care but most likely will make it through the night. He’s in good hands.”

“Doctor Jeon is a trauma surgeon,” the bartender, Chris as you now know, tells you with a knowing look. “Very big deal in the hospital.”

“Trauma surgeons or Doctor Jeon in particular?” you laugh.

“Chris, I think some glasses want to be polished,” Jungkook’s jaw clenches but you can still see a hint of a smile as he looks at his friend. “Don’t meddle, please. I can flirt just fine on my own.”

“Oh, is that what you were doing?” you laugh. This is becoming… very interesting.

“I’m about to, as soon as I find out your name,” he smirks your way. That one action, that one tiny smirk, made him 10 times more attractive than he was seconds ago.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeats. Okay, it may be too soon to tell but you have an inkling of where this might end up going and at this point, you are ready to pray to god that it ends up going that way. More than once.

“He’s single,” the bartender suddenly pipes up.

“Chris.”

“And the kindest guy I know,” Chris still continues, ignoring Jungkook’s glares.

“Will you stop?”

“No,” you laugh at Jungkook. “No, I like this, he’s telling me all I need to know. Tell me, Chris, how often does he flirt with lonely ladies at the bar?” you ask.

“First time I’ve seen him do it,” Chris replies without blinking. “Beats your guy from earlier today by a mile.”

“That he does,” you agree immediately. Just superficial conversation and one look at Jungkook was enough to reach the same conclusion. Granted, you haven’t really had the chance to properly talk to Adam but his girlfriend did and based from what you’ve heard, she doesn’t like him that much at the moment.

“How about you talk now, Y/N, before Chris here finds my birth certificate,” Jungkook turns to you.

“What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you’re willing to share.”

“I doubt you’d be interested in hearing my life story,” you chuckle. “I’m a real estate agent. I’m tired and not as drunk as I want to be.”

“That’s all you think I need to know?” he laughs, leaning just a tiny bit closer. “Tell me who you are when you’re not angry at some random dick. Tell me about your hobbies, your interests, the things you hate the most, your plans for the future.”

“Are you trying to flirt with me or are you scouting for a would-be wife?” you frown.

“Play your cards right and ask me that question later.”

It’s so fucking endearing – he laughs at himself as he delivers such a cheesy, yet somehow smooth line. He is literally laughing at himself and that makes you chuckle too – he’s not taking himself too seriously and is genuinely funny. Hell, if he plays his cards right, you might just ask him to marry you.

“I hate cucumbers,” is what you decide to tell him. “Tom Cruise too – he’s creepy. I don’t like people who waste my time. I’m a TV show addict, I could live on popcorn and I never wear high heels. Does that satisfy your curiosity?” your eyebrows are raised as you throw the ball over in his field.

“Not even close,” he responds. Judging by the little smirk on his face, he can definitely tell that your interest is peaked in all the right ways. “You’re just making me want to know more, Y/N.”

“Unfair,” you pretend to glare at him. “It’s your turn now – it’s only fair if I know as much as you do.”

“Alright,” he nods his head. “I’m a surgeon, as you already know. I’m… a pretty boring guy if I’m being honest. I work, workout, occasionally meet up with my friends and sleep. I like cucumbers but I can’t stand eggplants. I never really gave Tom Cruise much thought but you do have a point, he is a bit creepy,” Jungkook grimaces and you laugh, glad to hear you’re not the only one with that opinion. “I barely even have a life outside of work.”

You were goofing off at first but by the time he finishes, the humorous tone of the conversation isn’t really there anymore. He’s a doctor, a surgeon at that – it’s not hard for you to imagine just how big of a price his personal life had to pay in order for him to have a career like that. While it’s a shame, in your opinion, it was a decision he was very much aware of – as well as its consequences.

“Seems like maybe I’m not the only one who needs a drink tonight,” you give him a pointed look.

“Nah,” he smiles at you, shaking his head. “I still need to drive. Besides, you’ve had a bad day. This is just a regular day for me. Well, almost regular – I don’t usually talk to a pretty girl by the end of it.”

This time around, you stay silent.

It’s not something you can say and seeing as you do find him attractive it’s not the logical response either. You should smile at him, run fingers through your hair, try to appear as sensual and as flirty as possible – or as much as you can be, with dirty jeans and a big ass scratch on your arm. Doctor Jeon ticks off all the boxes, or at least all that you can think off, with your mind a little bit hazy, thanks to Chris’s mean cocktail. You should play the game and see where it’ll take you.

But you don’t. No, you stay silent and you look at the drink before you, ignoring the pair of eyes you feel on you. Perhaps you have had enough? Perhaps Adam was the last straw, your last chance before giving up completely? Maybe, maybe not. But for whatever reason, you decide to stay silent.

To his credit, Jungkook follows your lead. He doesn’t push you and that makes him look even better in your eyes. He was following your lead, pushing as far as you’d let him. Not all men have that ability, sadly. Jungkook does, he has something you can only describe as a peaceful aura. He strikes you as a laid back, everything is going to be okay, kind of guy. He’s not desperately trying to impress, nor is he trying to pull off a bad boy vibe. Thinking about it now, he seems like the most mature guy you were ever interested in, even in passing, even if you’ve only talked to him for a few minutes.

Now you want to speak up, say something, anything, but your mouth just opens and closes, as you find that as much as you want to, you’re not capable of forming words.

And why would you? Come to think of it, seriously, why would you? You barely even talked. You have had a day from hell, you are tired and there’s not much he could provide you with, other than a distraction. It would do it’s trick, you might get a good night and a few worthy memories but at the end of it all, you would probably never see his face again. At least outside of the emergency room.

Your brain is playing tennis with itself, throwing the ball from one side to another as you debate whether or not something should be done, mentally listing all the pros and cons to each option, asking yourself further questions that simply lead you nowhere. That’s the way overthinking works and you should know, since you do it all the damn time.

His glass hits the bar a bit too hard and you flinch, looking at it from the corner of your eye. It’s empty, the tennis match in your head is slowly coming to an end – no winner. You do nothing, don’t say a word, don’t look at him. You only look at the bartender as he tells Jungkook to keep an eye on the bar as he goes to get more tequila from the back.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks and the moment your eyes meet, the beat of your heart turns frantic. You wish you could slow it down somehow, or at least ignore it and focus on other things. Nope, none of it could work even if you tried – your heart is going berserk and all you can look at is Jungkook’s face. His eyes really are a one hell of a sight. “I’m going home now,” he tells you, his eyes looking around your face, from your eyes to your lips, back to your eyes again. “I would very much like to take you there with me. You had a horrible day and you deserve something to keep your mind off it. I’d be happy to oblige. It would also be a nice change for me, to not go home alone once,” he adds.

Okay, it’s happening. The ball is on your side now. The problem is, Jungkook’s suggestion sounded more like a ‘let’s go steady’ than ‘do you want to fuck’ and that leaves you uneasy. Not a single thing about this screams one night stand to you, other than the fact that he is very much a stranger.

But you want to. God, do you want to. You want to suck him dry and run your hands through his hair as he fucks you – on a desk, on the floor, up against the wall, in the shower, on the bed – wherever it’s physically possible, really. You can’t remember the last time someone so stupidly handsome was offering you what Jungkook is offering now. Even if he makes it sound way more romantic than it should sound like, the hidden promise is there – you’d get dicked down.

Fuck it, you want it. Even more so, you need it.

“What kind of distraction are you suggesting, exactly?” you ask, praying to everyone and everything that your poker face is as stable as you want it to be.

“I think you know exactly what I’m suggesting, Y/N,” he mumbles, still keeping his eyes directly on you. It’s a little uncomfortable and your first instinct is to look away, to save yourself, but you can’t. With every word he says, he is drawing you in, deeper. “We can play coy, if that’s what you want, but you know very well how this is going to end.”

“And what about my head?” you do play coy, but you also throw in a subtle smirk, to make sure your intentions are clear, even though they are very much different than your words. “Weren’t you worried about me drinking after I’ve hit my head? How could a… distraction be healthy for me?”

“Oh, it could be,” he chuckles. “Healthy, enjoyable and dare I say, addictive. And just to settle your worries – nothing better than doctor supervision over the course of the night.”

You laugh because fuck it, it’s sold and you want him to know that.

“I trust I’ll be in good hands.”

“Oh, you will be,” it sounds both exciting and sinister and it stirs you in all the right ways. “Let’s go,” you are surprised with how quickly he takes out a couple of bills from his back pocket and throws them onto the bar, paying for both of your drinks and then some. He doesn’t wait for Chris to get back – he’s already on his feet and reaching for your hand. “Let’s go – I don’t want to waste more time.”

You let him drag you out of the bar, hoping that his dick is just as good as his game.

[justanotherlifeff]

Chapter 2

8 April 2316

Monday

Musutafu, Japan

You entered the classroom to find a certain tall black haired boy drilling an ash blonde for putting his feet on the desk. You personally never cared much about rules nor did you feel like poking a nose into people’s business was something that anyone should do, unlike Tenya Iida ofcourse. You knew that he would be aiming for the hero course in UA and to be fair, you certainly hoped to see him here again given that your only form of entertainment at Soumei was pissing him off. Yes, Iida was class president back in Soumei and let’s just say, you didn’t see eye to eye. Although you never full on bullied him like Ash blonde here. Infact, while you enjoyed pissing him off, you considered him as a friend even if being in the same class as him was sometimes a pain in the ass. “Remove your foot from that desk! Such an action is insulting to those who came to UA before us as well as the craftsmen who made the desk.” Iida argued. “Like I care. What middle school are you from, you extra?” Bakugou asked him in a rude tone. That’s when you noticed another student with mossy green hair had got in. He was staring at the bickering pair with a defeated look. “My name is Tenya Iida. I’m from Soumei private Academy.” Iida answered with pride. Ofcourse… Typical Iida… He just can’t see the insult that would come with that… “Soumei? A stuck up enlist then? I should blow you to bits.” Bakugou crackled. Even though you were enjoying the bickering, you decided that you should save your clueless classmate. “Sorry about him. He just cares about rules too much. He’s been on my back about how I wear my uniform for years.” you smiled apologetically at Bakugou as Iida tried to blow away whatever damage control you did by saying, “You’re awful! Do you even wish to become a hero? And (L/N)-kun, your shoes are absolutely inappropriate for school! Why would you wear sneakers to school?”. That’s what you get for trying to save him from blondie. “Iida-kun, give up already.” you told him with a teasing smile before he noticed the green haired boy and ran towards him.

Bakugou glared at the green haired kid for a while before looking back at you and asking, “Are you from Soumei too, extra?” with a frown. “You know, after standing up for you, I expected you to not call me an ‘extra’. You wound me mister!” you told him with, acting dramatically as if his words hurted you. “Oh I know you. You’re the villain kid. And you’re gonna teach me how to behave?” Bakugou sneered. That hit a nerve and all the light bulbs in the class shattered, making Bakugou startled for only a moment. You got yourself in control within moments and smiled at him before saying, “Sorry about that, my quirk's kinda annoying. By the way, come on dude! Lighten up! I know you didn’t mean any harm but that kinda hurted you know. I don’t want any trouble. Let’s get along okay?”. The boy tched in reply. That’s when Aizawa got into the dark classroom. “ (L/N), you can’t keep breaking the lights. Go to the Principal’s office and fill out a form for new lights. We will cut that from your part time job, again.” Aizawa told you firmly. “Yes sensei” you answered with a sigh before heading to the principal’s office.

When you came back, you found the other blonde kid from class waiting for you in an empty class. “(L/N)-kun, everyone’s gone to the grounds for a quirk test. Aizawa sensei asked me to wait for you to give you your uniform.” he told you with a confident smile. “Thank you! What’s your name?” I asked him with a smile. “I’m Kaminari Denki. But, you can call me Shrek, because I'm head ogre heels in love with you.” he answered with a flirty smile, winking at you. “Aside from scaring women away with shitty pickup lines, what do you do for a living?.” I chuckled at him. He dramatically put a hand on his chest before saying, "You wound me, (L/N)-chan. Besides, didn't you just improvise a pick-up line there?" as we headed towards the changing rooms. He had his uniform in his hands too. “Totally did my friend! While I can assure you that you're not my type, I can see that you're a man of culture and I henceforth declare you as my friend. Thanks for waiting!” I joked, pretending that my hand is a sword as I acted as if I just knighted him, making him laugh. "Well, atleast I scored a hot friend!" Denki shouted towards you as you got into the girl’s changing room.

“(L/N)-kun! How did you explode those bulbs?” a shorter brown haired girl approached you, her eyes sparkling in interest. “Yes, your quirk must be very powerful.” a tall black haired girl approached you as well. “I’m Yaoyorozu Momo. Nice to meet you” she bowed slightly with a smile on her face. “Oh right, sorry, I’m Uraraka Ochako. Nice to meet you!” the first girl remembered that she didn’t tell you her name. “It’s alright. I’m (L/N) (F/N). My quirk includes telekinesis. But, unlike the typical telekinesis, mine is in the molecular level. So, when I get any sudden emotion within me, my telekinesis activates and removes molecules from the most breakable things around. Glass molecules come apart more easily which is why they break. I don’t exactly explode them.” you explained my power to them. “I see. That’s impressive. I’m Ashido Mina! You should change quickly. We’ll wait for you.” a pink girl told you with a smile. “Thanks guys!” you answered before starting to change into the training uniform.

When you all arrived at the grounds, the boys were already there with Aizawa. You stood there with the girls as Aizawa explained how things in UA works. Denki saw you out there and approached you immediately. "Now that we are friends, would you introduce me to your hot female friends?" he whispered to you as if he was plotting something devious. "Oh no. I thought you liked me! Such betrayal!" you acted as if you were offended before laughing at your own antics with your new friend. "Well, come on then, let's get you introduced to the hot girls" you laughed as you introduced him to the group of women. While everyone else was pretty much freaked out by his downright flirting, Mina joined you into teasing him about it. After getting a scolding from Aizawa to shut everyone up, you watched upon with interest as he asked Bakugou, to pitch a ball. He used an explosion from his hand to throw the ball 705.2m away while shouting… “Die”? "He is one weird guy" you couldn't help but think. After that Aizawa went ahead to explain that anyone who scores the least would be expelled. He did expel people on their first day before so you hoped that your classmates would take him seriously. He then proceeded to explain why 21 students were admitted in Class 1A instead of 20, (apparantly the two lowest scorers got the same score in the entrance exam).

The event started with a 50 meter dash. You completed it in 1.23 second as you just opened a portal and crossed the finish line taking the highest score in class. Your middle school record was 7.58 seconds. Your strength test machine broke when you used telekinesis. Again, highest score in class. You used telekinesis to levitate during long jump, scoring highest again. You scored lowest in the repeated side step as there was no way to use your powers here. In the ball throw test, you opened a portal to the moon since you decided to learn the coordinates to a certain place in the moon knowing that doing something as flamboyant as this would certainly gain you a reputation and threw the ball in there. When the display read 384400 km, everyone was surprised. You could see the visible anger in Bakugou’s face as you beat him in almost all the tests. However, you weren’t the highest scorer in this one. Uraraka scored Infinity thanks to her quirk.

You were surprised when Aizawa didn’t expel anyone. Specially given that Mirodiya, as much as you found him extremely sweet, literally broke his finger when he tried to use his powers. You were the top scorer, which wasn’t much of a surprise. However, you discovered something during the test. Bakugou seems to hate Midoriya with a burning passion. While you figured out that Bakugou is pretty much an asshole, you sensed an enormous amount of inferiority complex within him. "He has a powerful quirk, more powerful than Midoriya but then, why did he feel like he was inferior to Midoriya?" was a thought that ran through your head. You honestly wouldn’t be bothered by complex people like them usually since you preferred to keep your life simple and fun, however, Bakugou was too explosive to ignore. He ranted on how Midoriya was quirkless before the ball throwing test. It seemed that they had a history and the way Bakugo acted made you interested in knowing. After all, it doesn’t hurt to know more about your classmates, right?

When class was over, you was headed to the teacher’s quarters. However, I was stopped by Denki and a red haired kid. “(L/N)-chan!” Denki shouted as he called you. You waited for him to catch up. “(L/N)-chan, are you busy now?” he asked. “No, not really. Why?” you asked him, confused. “We were going to try out the new cafe that opened nearby. You can stick along with us if you want to. I’m Kirishima Ejiro by the way. I heard you're already friends with Kaminari so I figured that we should go together?” the red haired boy explained. “Oh sure. Why not? I don't have much to do till my shift at the gym and that's not anytime soon.” you answered. “Damn, a working woman.. Now that's cool..” Denki praised in a flirtatious tone. “Yeah working is pretty manly!” Kirishima agreed enthusiastically. “I honestly would rather just stay at home and read a manga. I'm only working cause I gotta pay for all the damage I do to school property.” I sighed only to get reassuring looks from the two boys. "Aww get a sugar daddy, (Y/N)! I've been looking for a sugar mommy my entire life but I'm cursed with sheer good looks" Denki flicked his hair sarcastically. "Oh shut up you moron!" you answered rolling your eyes and flicking his forehead with a small pebble using your telekinesis, making Kirishima laugh at your antics as the three of you went for the cafe. And this is how, the infamous 'Bakusquad' unofficially started.

[elixir448]

All the wishes I’ve made during the countdown.

Hialriously, I made the same wish twice, which I’ve pointed out. I started wishing for stuff about halfway through the countdown. Gosh, hiatus was rough. I’m planning on crossing stuff out if they ever happen. Lol, as if. Here’s to a fab season everyone!

0 days – Can we all just be cool please?

1 day – Beth, Annie, Ruby and Rio all together at some point this season. Like in the same scene. I think this is one of the main reasons I miss the drops in season 1.

2 days – More Judith and Beth scenes (totally inspired by what Christina dropped in her interview) where they have thinly veiled yet profound conversations about how much men suck.

3 days – Getaway car scene. I don’t care if it’s the girls or Beth and Rio speeding away from a scene. Or Beth speeding away along. I just think it would be cool.

4 days – Rio playing Turner. I think we all have a feeling that Rio’s going to use Turner to clear the board and it would make a lot of sense.

5 days – Beth not being able to hold a gun. Until the moment where she can.  

6 days – Beth and Rio openly yelling at each other, like in 2x07, and getting all in their feels for each other.

7 days – More flashbacks to Beth, Ruby and Annie’s lives. Doesn’t even need to be to when they were kids. I would love to see a flashback to Annie finding out she was pregnancy or Beth going through post-partum depression.

8 days – Beth touching Rio’s tattoo(s). I don’t think this will ever happen but I can dream. Like can you imagine her touching or kissing his neck? Or any of his other tattoos WHEN they have sex again?

9 days – Can I get Beth recklessly driving her car? We saw that chaotic energy in 1x01 but then she just point blank refuses to get tickets haha.

10 days - Beth and Rio in each other’s cars. We had it in 1x05, 2x02 and 2x12 but I want it again! And look, I’m not saying that they need to have sex in each other’s cars. I mean, I wouldn’t say no...it would be nice. It definitely doesn’t need to happen though.

11 days - I seriously doubt this will happen but Beth and Agent Turner having a drink together. I don’t care that they’re antagonists, I feel like they genuinely get such a kick out of each other. I want to see this even if it’s just Beth drinking and Agent Turner crashing her alone time and then he orders a drink too. Give me all the snarky banter!

12 days - Beth and Rio panting against each other’s mouths again. Rio furrowing his brow. Can you believe that they were so overcome that this is what they did in 2x09?

13 days - Protect Stan and Ruby. Manny saying that he’s super excited for Stan’s storyline has stressed me the hell out. Please just let the Hills be okay! I want Stan to have an awesome storyline but I’m not sure I’m ready to see my bbs in pain.

14 days (REPEATED WISH) - Rio pushing Beth’s hair out of her face (haha, he’s not even pushing it away, he just wants to touch her). You know what would kill me? If he reaches towards her and starts to push her hair away and catches himself. And then gets annoyed with her and with himself.

15 days - I really, really, really want there to be a moment where Beth and Rio team up against a common enemy. And we know that’s going to happen in some way from what Manny has said about them being forced to worked together this season. What I mean is, I want there to be a scene where they come together (and it’s not quite forced) and turn on someone and then that person realises they’ve fucked it.

16 days - I kind of wonder what would happen if one of the kids started to clock on to the shady stuff their parents are involved with. Sara had that last year and Sadie kind of had it when she called Annie out for always lying. I kind of wonder if Sadie will question how Annie gets the money to pay for her hormone blocker medication? I guess I want a scene where Sadie realises that something’s not right.

17 days - A scene between Rio and Dean. Oooooffft. Imagine how loaded it would be. Rio resisted spilling the beans in front of Dean at the end of 2x04 because Beth asked him not to. There’s nothing much stopping him now, aside from the fact that he potentially regards Dean as inconsequential and he may want to keep certain aspects of his relationship with Beth to himself. Hmmmm…i’m not really sure. Regardless, I want a scene!

18 days - Oh god. A significant moment where Beth sees the scars on Rio’s chest, from the gunshot wounds she inflicted. I don’t know if this will happen but I can picture it as either:

1. A taunt from Rio to Beth. Him wanting to see the guilt on her face, to drag up the trauma she’s been trying to suppress, to show her that there’s no way she can run away from what she did because he himself is a constant reminder and that he carries the scars that represent what she is capable of, something she spent a huge chunk of their relationship denying.

2. A fragile moment of tenderness, guilt and longing. Omg. Give me Beth kissing Rio’s scars.

19 days - Beth and Rio eating together. Not Rio eating and Beth refusing to eat or them drinking together, although I need more of both of those things too. Both of them eating at the same time in one another’s company. Even if they are angrily eating together haha. I’ll take it.

20 days - (again, inspired by the shooting in the hotel, specifically in the bathroom) Repeat bathroom sex. That’s it. This show loves it’s parallels so give it to me!!!!

21 days - Beth and Rio pushing each other out of harm’s way. Oh my god. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to make that happen. Imagine they’re being shot at and they start scrambling to push the other person behind some cover.

22 days – (totally inspired by the new info about shooting for 3x09 taking place at the Millenium Biltmore hotel) Beth and Rio somewhere fancy or semi-fancy. Even if it’s just work related, which it definitely would be lol. And then it’ll probably all go to shit.

23 days - I am sooooo excited for the show to dip its toes into “the adult world”. I feel like that sounds patronising but I absolutely don’t mean for it to sound that way. The show deals with a lot of adult concepts, such as misogyny, disillusionment, boredom with the life you’re living etc. And it’s amazing in that it does so in such a dynamic, fun way that doesn’t detract from how serious the issues are but just highlights that a lot of us have these problems but just kind of continue to bumble along living our lives.

What I mean by “the adult world” is related to the strip club that has been theorised to be Stan’s place of employment in season 3. I didn’t really think we would see something like this in GG and it makes me happy that doors seem to be opening into parts of the world we haven’t seen before in the show. I dunno, I just really want to see how it’s included in the wider storyline. Like, will the girls wash cash through it? Haha, I kind of just want to see all 3 of the girls in the strip club and how they act in there.

24 days - Will we ever find out what happened to Beth and Annie’s parents? I really want to know! Are they alive, dead, divorced, together?

25 days - Beth playing piano. I seriously doubt it will ever happen other than in fanfic but I want to see it. And Beth singing. So basically, Beth playing piano and singing.

26 days - A really heartfelt scene where Beth looks at Marcus and thinks of Rio. Maybe sees some of Rio’s traits in him and she just looks and OMG THE PAIN.

Seriously though, who thinks:

(1) Marcus is going to recognise Beth and she will explain to Rhea that she met Rio and Marcus in the park.

(2) The writers ignore the fact that Marcus should recognise Beth and Rhea thinks that this is literally Beth’s first time meeting Marcus.

27 days - Ruby and Annie realising who Rhea is and what Beth is doing. Even though it looks like a great storyline and I’m excited to see it unfold, it’s super unhealthy and deceitful behaviour. I wonder if Rhea will ever find out who Beth really is?

28 days - You know what? Screw it! I want to wake up to the trailer. Bye.

29 days - Ruby and Annie becoming aware of the nature of Beth and Rio’s relationship. Pretty sure I’ve done a wish like this before (wanting Annie and Ruby to call Beth out for feeling relieved that Rio is alive). But I’d really like to see them realise that Beth and Rio’s relationship was far more complex than just sex and eye fucking.

30 days - Beth feeling sad about Rio. Sitting on the couch thinking about him. Lying in bed thinking about him. Going to the park and thinking about him. Standing in front of the fridge and thinking about him. Looking at the picnic bench and thinking about him.

31 days - Rio’s boys knowing what’s up between him and Beth. I loooove it whenever people realise or know what’s going on between the two of them and are either confused, horrified or amused by it.

32 days - Can we meet another crime boss or kingpin? I wonder if that would make the season too crowded since there already seem to be quite a few new characters and a lot going on because of the fallout from season 2. I just really want to meet someone else who is actually dangerous to the girls. I think Rio can be dangerous to the girls, especially now, but he and Beth have a lot of history and that affects how he interacts with her.

33 days - More Gretchen! She was under utilised in season 2. I’m not sure why but maybe they filmed scenes and decided to cut them out after. With everything going on with Rio and Jimmy, it only makes sense that she’ll be in the picture.

34 days - Flashback to Rio teaching Beth how to use a gun. “Just like we practiced.”

35 days - Sadie with Dakota. Annie with Dakota. Nancy with Dakota. Beth with Dakota. Greg with Dakota. I want a baby on the show other than Mary Pat’s!!

36 days - I really, really want a moment where Beth and Rio are standing or sitting next to each other. We had it in 2x03 in the park but they were sitting on different benches haha. We also had it when they were sitting in eachothers’ cars. And again in 2x08 with the picnic bench scene (I could ugly cry just thinking about it). They are so often depicted standing opposite one another (even in 2x04 and 2x09), positioned as though they are semi-antagonists sometimes and as equals at others.

I just want something where either:

1. They are standing next to one another against a common enemy. Like, on the same side. I can picture them joining forces, even if it’s just temporarily, against a common enemy. Maybe even permanently if it’s at the end of the season? (Or season 4?)

Or

2. They are sitting next to one another watching something in front of them. Maybe they’re sitting talking about business and then it shifts into something quiet and content, like watching Jane and Marcus play in the park. And then just turning to look at each other with something on their faces.

37 days - At some point in the season, Rio pushing Beth’s hair off of her face (bahaha, he’s never actually pushing her hair off her face, he just wants to touch her). Maybe it’ll be towards the end of the season when their has been some kind of resolution or tentative healing between them. Or maybe it’ll be because he can’t quite help himself. Or maybe he’ll be in the middle of doing it before he even realises.

38 days - Backstory for how Rhea and Rio met and got together. How much she knows about his life and why they split up. Maybe some info about his family and his real name (I do actually like Christopher now).

39 days - Annie, Ruby and Rio scenes. We were robbed I tell you!!!! I would have killed to see more of them in 2x10 and I’m holding out hope for season 3. It’ll be so interesting, as neither Annie or Ruby shot Rio. And I think they’re going to be really curious as to why Beth and Rio are still undoubtedly going to be orbiting around one another. I just need some scenes where Annie and Ruby are scared but then it shifts into them hesitating to ask him questions and then just borderline interrogating him.

40 days - A major Beth and Dean confrontation. Like, something that absolutely drags all of his wrongdoings out and lays them on the table. If he tries to make excuses, I want her to call him out and absolutely wreck him. If he tries to flip it around and blame her, I hope she completely obliterates him. Fuck that guy.

41 days - Sadie and Sara in scenes together. And like basically parenting the other kids. These two have such strong presences on screen, I need them in a scene together. You know they would kill it. Also, Beth and Ruby are besties and Annie is Beth’s sister but we never really see their kids interact with one another.

42 days - Beth in a dress at least 4 times OR those t-shirts that she wears when she’s in the house chilling (I specifically remember the grey one in 2x07 and the pink one in 2x10). And Rio seeing her all of those times. More up and down looks regardless of what she’s wearing. Can you imagine though? Given the weight of their history, it almost being a habit, can’t quite help himself, doesn’t actually care because he likes looking and it sets her off kilter.

43 days - Dean moving out at some point and a divorce. I mean, all that stuff costs money but please don’t drag it out. At the very least, I need this to happen before the end of season 3. Like, if this doesn’t happen, the chat that Beth and Dean had with the kids in season 2 would have meant nothing.

44 days - An indication at some point that Beth is relieved that Rio’s alive, rather than just scared. Like maybe she says it to him towards the end of the season or Annie or Ruby call her out for looking at him a certain way or for her conflicted feelings, given that he’s probably going to be spending this season terrorising them.

45 days - More Nancy and Annie scenes. Maybe with Annie helping out with Dakota or giving advice. And then Nancy helping Annie navigate stuff with Sadie.

46 days- Beth doing something to protect or help Rio, maybe even save his life. Not because she wants anything in return but because she doesn’t want to see him hurt or in trouble anymore. I low-key think that towards the end of the season she might do something to help him and, as a result, it’s pretty clear that what’s going on between them is more than how fucked up their relationship is inevitably going to be throughout most of the season. Haha, I’m probs wrong though.

47 days- Beth and Rio have angry sex. On a table. Or anywhere really.

48 days - Can Dean just get what’s coming? I’m sorry but it wasn’t enough that he was shot, especially with all the shit he did in season 2. And please bring up the cancer lie. I just need retribution. Anything. PLEASE.

49 days - Actual mental health consequences for Beth after being kidnapped and shooting Rio. There’s no way anyone could walk away from that unscathed, especially since she cared about him. The show’s touched on issues like binge eating and post-partum depression and I’m curious to see if and how they can incorporate anxiety disorders, like PTSD. I need at least one scene where Beth experiences a physiological fight or flight reaction or wakes up from a nightmare or has a flashback or hypervigilance. Just something to acknowledge that it’s normal to walk away from trauma and not be okay afterwards.

50 days - No more paying people off unless it actually makes sense or will work.

51 days – (POTENTIAL SPOILER) An extremely satisfying scene where Boomer dies. From the spoilers, it looks like Rio’s gonna be shooting someone in front of the girls. Please God, let it be Boomer. It would be amazing if he shot Boomer and Annie just had a total non-reaction or wasn’t frightened.

52 days - Please god, Rio interacting with Beth’s kids again and Beth interacting with Marcus. I especially need to see him interacting with Jane since it looks like Marcus is her bestie.

53 days - More scenes with Beth and Turner. For me at least, their scenes were some of my favourites in season 2. The way that Turner’s always chasing after Beth, trying to pin her for something and how she’s always getting away and sassing him. And, oh my god, I really want their reunion in season 3 to be good.

54 days - More context for Rio’s actions. Now that Rio is presumably going to be working with Turner, I feel like we need more scenes of Rio, out with Beth and the girls, for plot progression. It’s fun theorising on Tumblr and reading explanations in fic but I need the show to help him make sense. The show is about the girls and should always be but I need some things to make more sense.

55 days - With Beth becoming her own boss, I really want some doors to open into the dark underbelly of Detroit. I want to meet new characters who are criminals and who the girls have to be really weary of when they’re navigating their new business.

56 days - I really wanna see Annie, Ruby and Beth interact more with each other’s kids but, more than that, I want to see Stan with Sadie and with Beth’s kids because talk about wholesome.

57 days - The return of Beth’s pearls. I don’t even care what the context is at this point but I would die if we had either:

1. Rio using the pearls as a way of fucking with Beth when she thinks he’s still dead / using them to announce that he’s not dead

2. A Rio POV scene where we see him take out the pearls from wherever he keeps them and like touch or hold them and then the show cuts to a scene with Beth (this will never happen in a million years but I can dream)

58 days - A scene where Turner tells Rio about Beth’s lie in 1x05. I kind of picture a scene where Turner is being snarky about it but also failing to hide his curiosity as to whether or not anything ever happened between them. The other scenario I picture this happening in is Turner slowly realising over a few episodes that Rio and Beth had more than just a “work” relationship and he tells the story just to see Rio’s reaction.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 8

I’m a little late, but here it is!

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Monday April 15

The fucker was flipping through his book. The meeting was in fifteen minutes. I don't fucking know why I came early. The Dean's grandson glared at Brandon. He was the only absent at their previous get-together. Could he be the contemptible asshole who had the idea of the bounty ?

"I'm not." said suddenly the idiot.

"What the fuck ?"

"Regarding what you're thinking. I'm not the one who had a price put on the prey." explained Brandon. "You know I'm a devoted follower of D.R... I even helped to foil my roommate Barbara."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey snorted. It didn't mean anything except maybe that he was a smart ass. The fact you're using your brain make you more dangerous than the others.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Stop acting like if you can read my fucking thoughts you moron."

Brandon dared to smile. Jesus he was so annoying.

"I'm sorry. You're usually way more difficult to decipher. But this story seems to bother you."

It's my damn boyfriend we're talking about, stupid ! Yeah except no one knew. The junior remembered his last discussion with Zack. His friend had called him a coward. A coward. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, the gifted hunter, feared by all, had been called a coward. Zack didn't intend to be mean but ouch. I would feel much better if the cocksucker behind all this was arrested.

"Now that I think about it." mumbled the blond lad. "You are a supposed psychic so you must know something, right ?"

"Yeah. I know I'm innocent." replied the smart aleck.

I swear to god I'll kill him.

"More seriously." he continued when he noticed the Dean's grandson glaring at him. "I got things to tell but we'll have to wait for the others. D.R wants to update them aswell."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey grunted.

Archie, Theo and Gabriel arrived right on time. As for this arrogant Matthew and the girls, they all came late. On purpose of course. They want to piss me off. Such a flock of donkeys. Finally, when Samy deigned show up, the meeting officially began.

"Why are we here ?" asked Lucy. "Summer didn't say much but I don't have time to lose. Fallen King, I hope this is serious."

Damn. When did you start shitting by the mouth dickhead ? He remained silent only because Brandon had taken his phone out.

"It's me who summoned you." resonated D.R's voice. "Sorry if we are taking your precious time Lucy. Maybe you want to leave and give up all your privilege as a member of this assembly ?"

The idiot bitch shrivelled up on her chair. Pathetic.

"Get to the point." Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey intervened. "Why are we here ?"

"Because, Brandon and I have made some progress regarding the investigation about the pranktser who is defying our authority." she explained. "First of all, I will let you all know that we get to the root of his website. Much to our surprise, he's based in Canada."

"So it's a stranger ?" was surprised Gabriel. "But how does he know about the prey ? Even I didn't hear about him before all this fuss."

Let her speak. I want a name. Going to Canada to kill someone sounded worse than it actually was, right ?

"We are sure he has an accomplice at the university." carried on D.R. "Probably the mastermind behind all this to be honest. Besides, with some skills, it might be possible to manage a website from Canada while being actually here. That's not the only thing we went through. My team caught some hunters who spied on the prey and sold intel at our prankster, who then put them online."

What ?! Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was sure he didn't have enough bullets to shot every little fucker who did that. Damnit ! He had been the most careful he could and still, they escaped his surveillance ? And why D.R didn't told him sooner ?!

"Don't be mad." teased Jolenne. "We just got all the infos you spent month to get in a few days. Poor fallen king."

The Dean's grandson almost lost his calm. He was feeling paranoid and irritated. But he didn't need Zack calling him a brute as well as a coward.

"Unecessary comments are not permitted." said codly D.R. "Until now, what has been revealed to the public are mostly practical intels. The prey's greediness when it come to food is emphasized by many people. Also, there are his supposed sexual preference, his work and college schedule and when it is possible to meet him without Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey around. Even his friends are not safe from this search of information. I hope you realize this is craziness."

"Don't worry, we're chasing him by following your rules." giggled Miranda. "We don't need all this shit to catch him."

"Do you have any idea about the identity of the prankster ?" asked Archie.

"Well, thanks to the hunters we arrested, maybe." the head of the hunter announced, making them all quiet. "Brandon."

"As you may know, since my arrival here, D.R usually resort to me when she wants to question people. Here's what I discovered." the guy revealed. "They all received the money the day following their exchange via transfer. What is interesting is the bank making those transfers... The Mason's Financial."

Silent followed. Everyone looked up at Samy. She was called Samy Mason for a reason after all. The name is common but I know for sure she's the daughter of the actual ceo of Mason's Financial.

"My family's banks has numerous clients." she said, seemingly bored. "And this little information doesn't prove anything."

She's right. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was much more calmer now. And Samy was right. She had the means but that didn't make her guilty. This link wasn't much more than coincidence at this point.

"We'll do further investigation of course." resumed D.R. "Samy, you'll have to pay me a visit at my office very soon. As for the others, you can hunt, you can catch, but always remember there are rules. You have to insure that the others hunters respect them aswell. Is that clear ?"

They all agreed. Of course. But how many of them are cheating behind our back uh ? Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey left the room as soon as the meeting ended. At least he learnt something tonight. Nancy will have some work to do.

The Dean's grandson headed towards his flat quickly. He checked his phone on the way home. One text was from the head of the women defense club. Even outside the get-together, she couldn't let him in peace ? How annoying.

< D.R. : About our other matter, I expect the victim you told me about to pay me a visit soon. >

Of course you do. She was worried. Well he was worried too but he wasn't blowing a fuse about it. Archie seemed fine until now, so what was the problem ? Anyway, he also had a text from his boyfriend.

< The baboon : I'm stuffed !!! uwu >

A picture was attached to it. It was a selfie of Liam from underneath, which drew attention to his belly. His bloated tummy. Well Damian also noticed the tightness of his brief, since it was the only clothes he decided to wear. I hate him so much. Since when is he such a tease ?! At first, these little... provocations looked innocent. A comment about Liam being bottom when stuffed. An invite to touch his butt. The blond lad had thought it wasn't done on purpose. But when the action became repeated, it become obvious that the baboon was way more naughty than he let think. It didn't help that the junior was fantasizing about his boyfriend more and more... He'll be the death of me one day.

Liam Wednesday April 17

The College's library was a dark and secret place Liam had feared since his arrival. Books could harm you kids, no joke. He had yet to find the magical section but he knew it was here, somewhere. Thankfully he was in the history section and not alone. The chestnut lad was looking for a title Nate asked. Apparently, reading helped his bestfriend to distract his mind from any bad thought. I will bring it to him tonight.

"I can't find it anywhere." grumbled Nick. "Are you sure they have it ?"

"Yes." assured Colton. "I checked the website twice already."

It was the fourth time they had this discussion in the last half an hour. Since Nick had decided to follow a diet, he was grumpy most of the time. Probably because the unicorns think it's bad for him. They know more than we do. Colton, as the teddy-bear he was, had the patience to deal with their sullen friend. Liam glimpsed the book they were looking for.

"Found it." he announced. "Let me borrow it and we can go."

The three boys headed towards the exit. And there she was. Of course she would be there : library were suitable for dark ritual so the forces of evil were most likely bound to appear here. The witch was with another girl he didn't recognise right away. Because the lad had friends to protect, he decided to face them. Oh. This is the girl who offered her body to me. So she switched side ? This is bad. He didn't need a demon on top of his problems.

"Hey." smiled the witch when they were close enough.

Liam tried to ignore her and focused on the librarian who was registering his borrowing. Without success apparently.

"I'm Lucy remember ? And this is Miranda. We want to know you three better boys. Do you want a little meeting with us girls outside the university this weekend ?" suggested the pawn of evil. "We can bring a friend along to be even."

Nick pulled a face. Colton smiled prudently. They're falling for her charms... Liam hesitated. On one hand, it was dangerous, and his boyfriend had vigorously asked him to stay away from her. But on the other hand, it was the perfect opportunity to face her once and for all.

"I'm not against it." he eventually replied. "If the others are fine with it too..."

His two friends exchanged perplexed glances. Finally, they agreed and the three boys were free to go.

When they arrived at their place, Liam noticed Dami waiting for him at the entrance. His boyfriend was texting aggressively. He looks angry. More than usual. The others greeted him and went upstair while the chestnut lad smiled. In all honesty, he didn't know what he was doing with Dami. He was well aware their relationship was slowly improving for the better. There was no doubt in his dreamy mind that sex was near. He even had naughty thoughts of Dami while he... had been taking personnal pleasure last time.

"What the hell did you just say ?" asked the junior.

Liam blinked. Did I think out loud ? That would be very embarassing.

"Hum forget it." he muttered. "I've something to tell you."

He related his encounter with the witch and the human sacrifice. He also carefully explained why he wanted to face her. It was important to be clear because Dami was a hero. Hero didn't like when their relatives and friends faced troubles and they had a tendency to take all the blame. Liam knew that, he read it somewhere. But he had a mission from the unicorn.

"I think this is one of your dumbest idea you baboon." declared his boyfriend once he concluded. "The damn horses don't know everything and... Whatever do your thing. I'm not protecting you anyway."

"Thanks you for trusting me." smiled the freshman.

He kissed Dami lenghtily to express his gratefulness. Two hands grabbed his ass and pushed his waist closer. Liam gulped when he felt his crotch react at the gesture. They stayed like this only a few minutes but it was enough to make them both blush awkwardly. It's hot in here right ? (Please unicorns, believe it.) (The magical creatures probably won't like his perveted thoughts tonight...)

"I need to go." whispered Dami. "See you tomorow baboon."

It was almost bedtime when Nate announced he wanted to see a shrink. According to him, it was Dami who suggested the idea.

"He told me she was a professional who could help." he explained. "And Archie sees her too so I guess she knows her job. But I would like you to come with me the first time... Is that ok ?"

"Of course bro." assured Liam.

He could feel the positive energy in the room. His bestfriend was trying. I'll support him the best I can. Nate slipped under his covers, letting only his head visible.

"Say, how did you know you were attracted by men ?"

The chestnut lad made a weird sound. That wasn't a question he had expected at all. They had already talked about that in the past but... He discreetly looked at the unicorns. Were they doing something to Nate ?

"Stop your mental chat with the magical poneys and answer me." ordered Nate.

"Oh sorry... Well I don't really know ?" he said. "As you remember, I was first into chubby girls but well... I don't know it felt nice to be with Kilian. Being in a relationship with another boy is great to me... As long as I love him right ?"

"This doesn't help." grumbled his bestfriend. "I'll try to be more specific : why is Dami attractive to you ? Physically ?"

"He's cute." giggled Liam, remembering their last encounter. "And well, kind of sweet. He's a nice skin. Oh and his eyes are scary, I like that. Why are you asking ?"

"I think I like Archie's hugs." Nate revealed. "But that doesn't mean anything. I'm just touch starved and he feels safe that's it. I'm overthinking little things. Good night."

He covered his head, meaning the conversation was over. And Liam fell asleep the next second. He had unicorns to feed after all.

Nicolas Friday April 19

< Imagenius : Dang ! We lost but that was a close one. >

Nick grunted. Annoying.

< TheSavior : Still a lose. >

< Abeautifulwoman : speaking in terms of statistics, we're in a losing streak. Boss you're the one who made the most mistakes in our last games... While you were the best one week ago. >

Nick ground his teeth. Annoying. They piss me off.

< Abeautifulwoman : Anything on your mind lately ? >

< TheSavior : I 'm on a diet. >

The lad had never expected it to be so hard. How could he focus on his game while all he could nibble was a salad ?! And damnit he missed beer. But I need to lose the weight. Not only four or five pounds, but fifty. Enough to not be disgusting again.

< Imagenius : change of subject but Beauty I think I know who is your bossy friend ! >

< Abeautifulwoman : Are you serious rn ? Just let him be and focus on the bad mood of our boss. >

< Imagenius : He's the most famous hunter in my college right ? The one who has sex with everyone whenever he wants. He's the great son of the Dean that lucky bastard lol >

Wait. What ? Nick re read the text but there was no mistake. A Dean's grandson who sleep around ? The bounty hunt and the very famous prey... Could it be happening here ? It was only his imagination for sure. There could be many great son of a Dean who were also part succubus. (Yes sometimes, Nick fell for Liam's crazy theory.)

< Abeautifulwoman : There is a reason why I'm not talking abut him here and it's called privacy bitch. >

< Imagenius : You're the fake bitch. What if you're working for the Smith Carrey ? I have friends who don't fear him you know ? >

*Abeautifulwoman is offline.*

< Imagenius : such a coward c**t lol >

*Imagenius is offline.*

Now there was no doubt possible.

This evening, Nick arrived at the pool his head full of question. Imagenius was a student here. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was the best of the hunters. And a mysterious hunt with a bounty interested everyone. Weird. This is so weird. Liam's boyfriend had always been shady but a hunter ? What does that even mean ? Nick caught sight of Colton near the pool. He sighed deeply. Whatever is going on, this is not my business. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey can do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't hurt my roommate. And I don't want to meet Imagenius in real life. Not when the freshman looked like a disgusting fat cow.

"Everything's fine bud ?" asked his friend.

"Yeah sorry. I guess I'm not feeling very confident about tomorrow."

This improvised date with three girls was another thing on his mind. Something I can talk with Colton. This latter smiled. His whole body irradiated a delicate but welcomed warmth. His attitude only was reasurring. And no, Nick didn't believe in magic but this guy had some strong positive vibe.

"This is not even a date." Colton recalled. "I think one of them is interested in Liam, and she asked help from her friends. You don't have to worry : we'll just enjoy the moment."

"Easy to say for you dude. You're handsome and incredibly nice." Nick retorted. "I'm not at the same level."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." assured his friend. "You made me think about my two bestfriends. They both have low self-esteem despite being amazing. I hope they finally realised it."

Nick detected distress in Colton's voice. For the first time, his expression revealed something esle than happiness. He looks almost sad.

"Now that you mention it, I never heard you talk about your past." noted the geek. "I mean, I don't have any friend from highschool since I was only focused on studies and you already know what I think about my annoying family but you... Even Liam's been more open."

Colton smiled but that was as fake as Rebecca's kindness.

"Stuff happenned. When I decided to follow Barbara, the people I cared about didn't take it well." he explained. "Even my sister is still mad. She was right tho, I got dumped in the end."

"And despite that, you're so nice and all ? Dude you really are half teddy-bear aren't you ? In your place, I would never trust anyone again."

They started to warm-up while talking. Liam would arrive later to help with the swimming lesson.

"I hope my friends will forgive me one day." confessed Colton. "Especially these two... But that doesn't mean I will be dejected until then. I'm sure they don't want that from me."

"You're so positive about everything that's kind of impressive." grunted Nick. "I would like to borrow your optimism sometimes.... Is it because some people have it worst ?"

He was thinking about Nate. That was petty of him to complain about his weight when his friend got raped. I'm ridiculous.

"You're getting it wrong." refuted the other. "You've the right to not appreciate your body but it is important that it is you, and not the opinion of the others, who chose that. As for me, I don't complain only because there is nothing I can do for now but hope. So I'm hoping."

Yeah, seems legit. They went into the pool and Nick focused on his swimming. The rest could wait.

To be continued

Dami is hunting the hunters... It’s a big mess. Who to trust uh?

And now Liam’s trying to solve his problem on his own, what a bad idea! But who knows, maybe he’ll manage ;) Big revelations in the online chat of Nick! Now, he has more info than he should...

Some background info on Colton. I’m not sure they’re very useful for now, but still.

[bethkerring]

10 Tips for Writing Characters with Depression

Depression isn’t exactly the easiest topic to write about, in fiction or otherwise.

I’ve struggled with writing about it personally, and I’ve experienced it, so I know it must be a hundred times harder for people who have never been through it. I’ve seen depression, as well as other forms of mental illness, pop up more and more in books, movies, TV shows, and other forms of popular media, and the quality of that representation is … extremely varied. Sometimes it’s done so beautifully it affects the way I view my own experiences, and sometimes it’s so bad that I worry for how many people it harmed.

I’ve also heard writers talk about how scared they are to write about depression, because they want to do the topic justice and aren’t sure how to present it accurately if they don’t have personal experience. I’m not an expert by any means, but frankly, I don’t think anyone is. Everyone’s experience with depression is different, but I hope that sharing some of the things I’ve learned from my experience and others’ can help writers create characters with realistic and properly represented mental illness.

That said, a quick disclaimer: these tips are, again, based on my personal experience and those of people I know. They are not universal, and not everyone agrees on everything. If you’re writing a story that features one or more characters with depression, please do your own research and listen to as many different experiences as you can.

Also, trigger warnings for, obviously, discussion of depression, as well as brief discussion of suicide.

Good? Good. Let’s go.

1. Depression is an illness, but that doesn’t mean it’s just like having the flu. I’ve heard people compare mental illness to physical illness to make the point that we don’t take mental illness seriously, treatment is harder to get, we blame people for mental illness where we don’t with physical illness, etc. And these are all perfectly valid points. But it’s also important to recognize that the metaphor does, at some point, break down. Mental illness is, indeed, an illness, but the way people experience it and the way it affects their lives is often very different from, say, catching a cold. It’s often a long-term condition, for one, and we know a lot less about the mind than the body. There are some similarities, and mental illness should be taken just as seriously as physical, but mental illness also comes with some unique factors that often make it more difficult to treat.

2. There are countless treatment options, and there is no one universal “cure.” If someone discovers that they have depression, the solution isn’t as simple as “get therapy” or “get medication.” Those are two possible treatment options, but the treatment will depend on the severity of the depression, how long it’s lasted, the individual’s life situation, and, most importantly, what the individual prefers. Some people don’t want to go on medication but like the idea of therapy. Some people can’t find/afford therapy and want to try medication instead. Some people do both. Some people seek other treatment options or decide to give it time before deciding, especially if the depression is clearly related to a life situation. Everyone is different, and treatment options are exactly that: treatment, not cures. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another, and even if a treatment “works,” that doesn’t mean the depression goes away forever.

3. Therapy can be expensive and hard to get - and finding the right therapist is even harder. I’ve only had one experience of searching for a therapist as an adult, and let me tell you, the process itself ended up actually contributing to my depression. Though every country is different in terms of access to good therapy (counseling, especially), my country—America—has a long way to go. First you have to find a good counselor in your area, then you have to see if your insurance (if you have insurance) will cover treatment with that particular counselor, then you have to see if you can afford what the out-of-pocket cost will be, then you have to make an appointment that works with their hours and your schedule (some therapists don’t work weekends or evenings), then you actually go to the therapist and hope that they are a good match. If you’re very lucky, this is the end of the process.

If you’re like many, though, you realize the counselor isn’t a good fit, and the process begins all over again. All while you’re suffering through the mental illness you need treatment for.

It should also be recognized that therapists aren’t perfect: they’re human beings with differing personalities and approaches to treatment, and finding the right therapist is just as important as actually, well, finding a therapist. Because of the position they’re in and how much influence they have on someone’s life, the wrong therapist can potentially make someone’s mental illness worse, or create problems that weren’t there already. Even if a person finds the right therapist, the benefits of that therapy often don’t show themselves immediately, and that good therapist can still make mistakes (saying the wrong thing, making false assumptions, bringing in their personal biases, etc.). Basically, don’t have your character enter therapy and magically end up cured. Therapy can be fantastically helpful and important for someone with depression, but it’s not quick, it’s not always easy, and it’s not perfect.

4. Medication is not a miracle cure. I hope that most people reading already know this, but just in case, it’s worth repeating. Many people with depression have found medication helpful, but there is no “magic pill” to “cure” depression that works for everyone. There are many, many different types of medication, which work in a variety of different ways. Many of them can take weeks to have a noticeable affect, and an individual might need to try several medications—and dosages—before they find what works for them.

Side effects are also very common and can sometimes outweigh the benefits. Even if the side effects aren’t bad enough to stop the medication, they might still be annoying, so be sure to look up the side effects of any medication your character might be taking. Finally, not everyone benefits from or wants to take medication: unmedicated depression is not necessarily untreated depression.

5. Lifestyle changes are also not a miracle cure - but that doesn’t mean they don’t help. I want to be very clear here: telling someone with depression to “just go for a walk” is, frankly, disrespectful toward their suffering. But so is suggesting that they should “just get therapy” or “just get medication.” Treating depression is never simple, and though going for a walk isn’t going to cure longtime depression, exercise and sunlight, among other lifestyle changes, can make a difference to someone suffering from it. Depending on the reason for and the type of depression, someone might find it very helpful to get more sunlight, to take up exercise, to eat healthier, or to spend more time socializing. Conversely, if someone spends all day secluded in their room with blackout curtains and junk food, their depression is unlikely to get better, and may, in fact, get worse. Depression and lifestyle can even become a vicious cycle, where someone feels unsociable because they’re depressed, so they don’t go out, which makes them more depressed. The same goes with not feeling up to exercising because of depression, so lack of exercise ends up contributing to the depression, and eating junk food for comfort, and that junk food making the depression worse. Again, lifestyle may not be a miracle cure (or the sole cause), but consider how your character’s lifestyle may interact with, contribute to, or help their depression.

6. Depression can be caused by a wide range of things, and often more than one. I often hear depression described, almost exclusively, as a “chemical imbalance.” And it’s true that a chemical imbalance can cause depression and, technically speaking, any form of emotion is caused by chemicals in the brain and body. But I don’t believe it’s that simple. Many studies have linked depression to experiences and trauma in both childhood and adulthood. This doesn’t mean that chemicals don’t play a part, or that these experiences don’t affect brain chemistry (they absolutely do), but there is no single cause for depression, and often it is result of a combination of genes, environment, and other factors. Keep that in mind when creating your characters and their backstories. Does your character have a family history of depression? Does this make their family more or less supportive? Has your character dealt with life experiences that contributed to their depression? Is your character dealing with a difficult situation during the story that causes a depressive episode or makes it worse? You don’t have to know the exact balance of nature and nurture—no one does in real life—but consider these factors and remember that depression and its causes are much more complex than you might think.

7. Depression is more than a single episode. That’s not to say someone can’t have just one long (or short) depressive episode, which is then treated and disappears forever, or goes away on its own. That’s certainly possible, but it’s not the norm. Many people with depression experience it as “episodes,” which can be short or long. Those episodes might come about due to a specific event or apparently randomly, and they might end due to treatment or just disappear without a clear cause.

That’s not to say that treatment can’t help prevent future episodes, or make them less severe. But many people with depression don’t expect that their depression will ever completely go away. It might, but for many people, depression is something to treat and to cope with. It may go away for years and then suddenly come back. It may just hit occasionally and, hopefully, less severely as better treatment or coping resources are available. But in my experience, it’s rare that your depression is “cured” just because you feel better. That particular episode has ended, but someone who has proven to be “prone” to depressive episodes is likely to have them again in the future.

8. Stigma toward depression is still alive and well. I’ve referenced this already, but it’s worth repeating: though stigma toward depression (and other mental illness) is getting better, it definitely still exists. People are still accused of “faking it” or “being dramatic” if they claim to have a mental illness, and mental illness is still often brushed aside as not necessarily serious. Plus, the simple fact is that society is much more accommodating and understanding toward physical illness than mental illness: it’s considered more acceptable to ask for a day off of work for a stomach bug than a bad depressive episode, even if they might be similarly debilitating. This differs significantly depending on where your story is taking place, of course, but assuming you’re writing about a real, modern society, many don’t take mental illness as seriously as they should. But this is not universal, and if you’re writing about a society you don’t belong to, please do your research regarding how people in that society react to someone suffering from depression—and remember that your character's family and friends might have personal prejudices that their society doesn’t share.

9. Suicide is a real and important issue - but please be careful writing it. It’s very important to have good representation for people who suffer suicidal feelings. This is a serious phenomenon and people dealing with it should have characters they can empathize with. However, this should not be done lightly, and if you’re going to deal with it in your story, please do your research ahead of time, because bad representation can do a lot more harm than none at all. There are dozens of ways suicide can be written badly, but I especially want to warn against romanticizing suicide and its effects on survivors. Many people who deal with suicidal feelings think that, if they kill themselves, the people who hurt them will finally see the pain they caused and either get their “just desserts” or become better people. Though this feeling is common, this is very dangerous to present as a reality—not only because it (unintentionally) might help convince someone suffering from suicidal feelings that suicide will accomplish their goal, but also because it’s almost always false. Suicide rarely leads survivors to suddenly regret all any harmful actions—even if it does, it often doesn’t happen to the people who caused genuine harm. Usually, the people who wallow in guilt are the people who genuinely cared for the person and did their best to help them, and they will be stuck with that guilt for the rest of their lives—sometimes leading that survivor of suicide to attempt suicide themself. Most often, suicide leaves the survivors confused, angry, grieving, and understanding even less than they did when the person was alive—and in the rare case that they do understand the harm they caused, and regret it, there is still nothing to be done. The person is dead and the survivors live on in guilt. Nothing is solved. Nothing is fixed. There is just more pain. So please, be careful when writing suicidal feelings, attempted or completed suicides, or the reactions and survivors—do your research, read real people’s stories, and consider the effect your writing will have on those reading it.

10. Yes, you can live a full and happy life and still deal with depression. This might sound like some cheesy motivational post, but it’s completely true and very important, both for people suffering from depression and people who write characters who suffer from depression. Just because your character has depression does not mean that they will live a life of constant misery—and your character’s depression does not have to be cured for them to have a happy ending. A “happy ending” for someone with depression might be finding a form of treatment that helps, or coming to understand that things will get better, or learning to ask for help from those that love them. Even learning that they aren’t broken because of their depression can be a valuable and life-changing lesson. Be realistic when thinking about where your character ends up, but also keep in mind that many, many people live with depression and, with time and support, can find a treatment plan and coping resources that allow them to enjoy life and be happy.

Original post on my website.

[reivenesque]

Requested by @lovelylittlegrim for the @teenwolfexchange

1. (Thiam) A fluffy fair fic. In which Liam takes Theo to his first fair/carnival and they have their first kiss.

Umm, not so much the fluffy fic I planned on when I started and it may or may not be their first kiss. I honestly didn’t know where this was going until I arrived there, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless *hides* I haven’t written a humour fic in ages I could feel my funny bone creaking with disuse as I was typing.

All’s Fair that Ends Fare

One of Liam’s earliest (and fondest) memories was of going to the seasonal fair with his mom and whichever boyfriend she was dating at the time. The only thing Liam really remembered about the guy was that he was a huge dick and pissed at Liam for being forced the tag along because the baby sitter cancelled at the last minute. As a result, Liam made it a point to do his absolute hardest to be the worst little shit to the guy behind his mom’s back and the most innocent angel when she turned to look at him.

The date didn’t last the night. The guy stomped off in righteous fury muttering about annoying children and stupid fairs and his mom was left in confusion staring at his retreating back.

They spent the rest of the night just the two of them going on rides and playing games, and even though his mom put on a smile when she looked at him, Liam could tell that she was hurt, but at the time, his cold little nine-year old heart didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was that the guy was gone and he had his mom all to himself again.

Adult Liam eventually came to the realization that he was a terrible, shithead of a child.

But then his mom met his stepdad and the man didn’t run away no matter how much Liam tried to chase him off, so all in all, it worked out for the best in the end.

“This milkshake sucks.”

The very first words spoken between the two of them in the merry compound of the town fair that night.

“It’s free, so shut up and drink it, asshole.”

God, Theo could be such a negative Nancy. Often times Liam forgot that he was actually Scott and Stiles’s age because of how petulant he could be. But then he remembered that neither Scott nor Stiles acted Scott and Stiles’s age so that was a rather pointless train of thought to have.

“Why are we even here? If I wanted to spend my night grinding up against the smelly sweaty bodies of half the population of Beacon Hills, I would have gone to a club – where they have air-conditioning – and alcoholic beverages instead of this… watered down gluten free soy whatever,” said Theo, swirling around the white liquid in the see through plastic cup in front of his eyes and staring at it suspiciously.

“It’s not gluten free or made of soy,” he said, exhaling exasperatedly.

“Well it might as well be,” said Theo petulantly. “How come you’re having juice then?”

“Cause I wanted to get you something special! Now shut up, Theo. We’re here to have fun tonight, and we will have fun even if it kills you,” said Liam.

“Sounds like fun already.”

Liam ignored him. “What do you want to do first? Which ride do you want to try?” he asked.

“How about that one?” said Theo, motioning towards the open gate at the far end of the field under the neon green sign that said ‘Exit’.

“Hilarious,” he said, his face completely straight and his mouth downturned in a frown.

It wasn’t how he’d originally planned on spending the night, but the funfair was in town – with emphasis on fun, and he was bored as hell – Scott was away on a bro-date with Stiles and Mason was away on a date-date with Corey, and Liam who was at that moment on a sad-date with him, himself and no one else, was feeling particularly left out. Plus he’d recently come to learn that Theo had never been to a fair before. Obviously the Dread Doctors weren’t big on the fun kind of activity that didn’t involve suffering, mutilation and death.

“What about the haunted house?” he suggested. He was pleased to see that it piqued Theo’s interest.

It was also a pivotal moment in which historians somewhere down the line would jot down in their tiny little notebooks as the moment Liam vowed to never take Theo into another haunted house ever again.

The screams of terror were not out of place, obviously, it was a house designed to scare the living crap out of the faint hearted. What was out of place was the sight of the people in ghost costumes, some covered in prosthetic fur and fake ears and fangs and other limbless figures covered in blood running out of said house in absolute pant-wetting terror, shoving each other aside and stepping on toes in their hurry to escape.

Theo’s cackling laughter beside him was like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Theo was the nail and his face was the chalkboard.

“That’s not funny,” he said, turning around just in time to see Theo’s glowing yellow eyes reverting back to the dark blue and his fangs retreating back into his gums.

“Come on, it’s a little funny,” he said. “Don’t be such a sourpuss, Liam. If I wanted to date a boring, disgruntled old man I would have asked out Derek. Or that old guy that lives at the end of the street that likes to throw sand balls made of cat litter at people who walk past his house.”

Firstly, Liam was absolutely offended by getting compared to a disgruntled old man. Secondly, he hated to admit it but it was sorta funny, but he wasn’t about to confirm that fact to Theo, the guy was insufferable enough as is.

“So? How about it? Are we here to have fun, or are we here to have fun?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know what that even means,” said Liam, furrowing his brows.

“Think of it like Troy,” said Theo, reaching over to circle an arm around Liam’s shoulder in a way that was suspiciously intimate, one hand motioning out towards the sky as if he was trying to get Liam to imagine one of the unlimited – and most likely illegal – scenarios he had cooked up in his head. Whatever he was about to say, it was bound to be bad – people were probably going to end up in tears, or dead, or both. “The best way to get in with the enemy, is to get in with the enemy,” he said, punctuating each word like a different intonation would somehow make the meaning different.

“Once again,” said Liam, “Please speak English.”

“You’re the history nerd, Liam” said Theo – completely ignoring the indignant tone Liam used when he repeated the word ‘nerd?’ as a question, greatly offended, “You know this stuff right?”

Liam scrubbed at his face tiredly. He kind of had an idea where this whole thing was headed, and he didn’t like it – or did he? He hadn’t decided. He didn’t want Scott to be disappointed in him and that was definitely what was going to happen if he went through with what he was inevitably about to go through.

“Create havoc from the inside?” he asked, turning his eyes to look at Theo, only to see the insufferably smug gaze already staring back at him. He really wanted to punch Theo in his stupid face at that moment, either with his fist or with his lips. He hadn’t decided that either.

“I knew you were smart, Liam. I’m impressed,” he said.

Liam tried to keep the blush from spreading across his cheeks at the praise. But as it is with Theo most of the time, he knew to take it with a grain of salt. Theo was only super nice like that when he wanted something in return. “Shut up, Theo,” he said, elbowing him in the ribs. “So… what do you have in mind?”

“A thought just came to me.”

“God help us all,” said Liam with a sigh.

“What if we did both? Have a little fun while taking these people for everything they’re worth? I mean, the hammer game? Come on, we could beat that out of the literal park without breaking a sweat.”

“That’s cheating,” said Liam.

“Well good thing I’m here with Liam, and not Scott, right?”

Liam let out a half exhale-half groan type of inhuman sound. “Scott’s going to kill us both when this is all said and done you know?”

“Seriously, Scott would never harm one soft, moisturized strand of hair on that perfect little head of yours. And even if he does, we’ll have a lot of kick ass stories to tell in the afterlife.”

“I don’t like this plan,” said Liam.

“You don’t have to,” said Theo, “You just have to… you know, have fun.”

Liam knew that word was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He thoroughly regretted every life choice he ever made that lead him up to that point in his short sad life.

“Yeah, fun,” said Liam in an over-exaggerated mocking tone.

Everything was on fire.

Children and adults alike were crying; bawling their eyeballs out and screaming in horror.

There was the sound of a gleeful cackle in the distance over the white noise and the small explosions still going off in the background.

Theo was picking bits of glass and pie crusts out of his hair with Liam beside him, doubled over in laughter.

“That was awesome!” Liam said through his mirth. “Who knew exploding pie could cause such devastation! That’s something they definitely don’t teach in chem class.”

Theo couldn’t keep the pleased smirk off his face. “Living with mad scientists for as long as I did, you’re bound to pick up a thing or two.”

The backdrop, the once upright and proud House of Mirrors was in shambles; its wall barely hanging off the hinges and surrounded by almost half a foot of broken glass on the pulverized ground.

“I hate to admit it,” said Liam, “But I don’t think I’ve had this much fun… well, ever. We’re both about to be killed by my dad, Scott, Melissa, Sheriff Stilinski and half the population of Beacon Hills – but, this is definitely the best night of my life.”

“You could say,” said Theo with a wolfish grin, “That we went out with a bang.”

The sound of sirens pierced through the veil of the night, approaching the once upright fair, now several heaps of rubble – some still smoking and smoldering, with parts of blown apart teddy bears strews across the ground like there had been a horrific murder on Sesame Street.

“I think that’s our cue to amscray,” said Theo, smacking Liam on the arm with the back of his hand; both their eyes looking towards the incoming source of the noise.

Liam didn’t turn to meet Theo’s eyes at first, the cogs of his brain and conscience working overtime trying to override his instincts of self-preservation and will to live. He exhaled once before squaring his shoulders.

“No point in us both getting caught,” he said as the whinnying cruisers made their way into the compound, one blaring vehicle after another. “Save yourself… I’m going down fighting.”

Theo furrowed his brows. “Why do I feel like I’ve heard this before?”

“Just go, Theo. I’m not running away.”

He could hear Theo’s frustrated groan beside him but the guy made no move to leave. He opened his mouth to speak again when he turned to look at Theo, but the words were barely out of his mouth before he felt Theo grab him roughly by the side of his face, pulling him close. Everything around him slowed down to a crawl and the sound of the sirens became muffled noises in the distance when he felt Theo’s cool lips crashing down onto his.

The kiss was haphazard and sloppy; Liam wasn’t sure where to put his hands and Theo still kind of tasted like the terrible milkshake he had earlier. He could feel the heat from the car’s headlights shining on his back, illuminating them brightly as the cars pulled up to surround them like a barricade. But the moment he found the pocket of comfort inside himself and his hands found the perfect curve of Theo’s back that sloped down and back up to frame his perfect, perfect ass, Liam couldn’t think about anyone or anything else in the world anymore.

There was only him and Theo in the moment surrounded by the police cars and what sounded like helicopter rotors flapping in the distance and the only thing Liam could think was that it was a very Thelma and Louise type of scenario, which was pretty rad.

He decided in that moment that he wanted that movie to play at his funeral. He wondered if he had enough time to write out a will.

If he had a pen on him he’d definitely scribble it down on Theo’s butt cause quite frankly he didn’t want to take his hands off it ever.

At least not until he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat very close to their vicinity and the familiar stern voice saying the word, “Boys,” in a very crisp, no nonsense tone. It was the biggest of turn offs a person could ever hope for.

Liam found his tongue flicking out to lick at his red and heated lips the moment he and Theo pulled apart.

Sheriff Stilinski’s unamused face was the sight that immediately greeted them.

“Sheriff,” said Theo with a nod as a greeting.

The Sheriff’s reply was a gonad shriveling glare that he shot the both of them.

“Explanation. Now.”

Liam and Theo shared a look before launching into the most abysmal, incoherent, inconsistent explanation that somehow involved the song Extraterrestrial, a bottle of hot sauce, two cans of skimmed milk and the Ace of Diamonds – at the same time.

The Sheriff looked like he was seriously considering murder in that moment which he said as much. “I would honestly kill both of you right now, but then I’d be sparing myself the joy of watching your dad –” he pointed at Liam with a stern finger, “– and Melissa McCall –” he said pointing at Theo (who all of a sudden looked much less amused and slightly more concerned) – “Kill both of you. Slowly. Hell, if I’m lucky I might just get in on some of that action; Scott too. As a matter of fact, we’ll make a party of it!”

“Excuse me, Sheriff,” said Theo suddenly and Liam wondered if it would still be considered manslaughter of you killed a person in front of about half a dozen officers of the law. He vehemently hissed at Theo to ‘shut the hell up’, which unsurprisingly went unheeded. “Would it help any if I said that I was offended by their terrible portrayal of werewolves? I mean, what kind of self-respecting werewolf plays basketball?”

For the record, no, it did not help any.

Getting slammed into the hood of a cruiser while having his arms being yanked behind him and cuffed with cold hard steel was honestly not much fun. It was slightly more fun watching it being done to Theo and seeing the way his face scrunched up in pain. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough to get the insufferable asshole to shut up.

“I didn’t know you liked it rough, Sheriff.”

“Shut the fuck up, Theo!” he found himself hollering across the distance.

And Liam had such a positive start to the day too.

To say that his dad was livid would have been like saying a whale was a very big anchovy. He wasn’t allowed to leave the house or have any contact with the outside world at all. His only means of communication was eavesdropping whenever his dad was watching the news to hear whether there had been a reported murder in Beacon Hill or news about a dead body of an eighteen year old male, dark hair, blue eyes, insufferable attitude, washing up on the shore.

There wasn’t.

The silver lining (as Theo –god rest his soul – would have said) came a few days later when it came to light that the fair had been a front for an underground drug ring. They used the fair as a cover to move from town to town making and selling meth, and apparently, the highest concentrated amount of it was found inside the milkshake stand. Liam felt a little bad when it occurred to him that he might have gotten Theo a glass of methshake instead of a milkshake…

Sheriff Stilinski came personally to deliver the news to him and his parents. So not only was he off the hook for the shenanigans he and Theo pulled, the both of them were also getting commendations from the Mayor for thwarting a massive criminal organization.

Once he was freed from his house arrest – his dad was not so much pleased by the sudden turn of events as he was relieved – the absolute first thing he decided to do was to go see Theo (or what was left of him anyway).

Frustratingly enough, the guy seemingly came out of it completely unscathed.

“Tell me the truth,” he said straight out of the gate, “Was this whole thing intentional, or just a massive coincidence.”

Theo’s smug grin gave nothing away. “Of course it was intentional. You think I’d really wreck that much havoc on such an innocent establishment?”

“Yes,” said Liam immediately with absolute certainty.

“Okay, fine. It was a bit of both, okay? Something didn’t feel right in that place but I couldn’t put my finger on it, so I thought, what best way to get to the bottom of it while getting our kicks at the same time?”

“Right,” said Liam skeptically.

“Why do you not believe me?” asked Theo, feigning hurt.

“Cause you’re you and your middle name is ‘trouble’.”

“That’s a gross oversimplification,” said Theo.

“Oh really?”

“My actual middle name is ‘chaotic neutral.”

Liam couldn’t hold back his snort. “You’re right about the chaotic bit but there’s absolutely nothing neutral about you.”

“Please, Liam, I’m the most neutral person you know. Who else can play both sides of the field with as much skill and grace as me? Besides you, that is – I mean, between me and Hayden, that’s like opposite ends of the spectrum in more ways than one.”

“You’re really full of yourself, you know that?” said Liam, rubbing at his face with his hand.

“But that’s why you love me,” said Theo with a smirk.

“I do not –”

Liam was silenced completely by the lips that came down to meet his.

And so, all’s well that ends well, or in their case, it helped being the luckiest motherfuckers alive cause Liam was pretty fond of being alive thank you very much.

The one thing they could both agree on was to make a blood sworn oath to never talk about the Ferris wheel hot dog incident to anyone ever, dead or alive.

The End.

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: A Young Hero

the @meowraculouschatnoirzine is finally available for a free download (check it out here) which means that i can finally post my small piece in its entirely for you all. definitely head over to that link so you can get the entire thing in a PDF for free

not often i write gen fics, so i hope you enjoy! :)

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Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Title: A Young Hero Pairing: Gen Fic, Gabriel Agreste & Chat Noir Summary: A heart to heart between a young hero and his father

A Young Hero

Today’s akuma had a vendetta against Gabriel Agreste.

Apparently M. Agreste had seen it fit to fire a company executive this morning. His personal assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur, said the exchange had only lasted sixty seconds — just long enough for M. Agreste to tell the man why he was being fired, give him instructions to clean his office immediately, and hand him back the golden name plate that had already been stripped from his door. Not even ten minutes later, Gabriel’s company building was on complete lockdown while the akuma stalked the halls searching for Gabriel Agreste to get his revenge.

Chat Noir only knew about it because Nathalie had called him in the middle of class to update him on the situation. So he transformed, called Ladybug, and told her that unfortunately, Gabriel Agreste was going to need some hasty protection detail before this new villain seriously harmed him.

“We’ve instructed all employees to lock themselves in their offices and take cover,” Nathalie explained to the two superheroes as the elevator halted on the top floor. Ladybug and Chat Noir kept their weapons drawn and eyed the vents and windows while Nathalie led them to Gabriel’s office. “M. Agreste is also remaining in his office, but so far there’s been no sign of the akuma.”

“He’s probably hiding in the building somewhere,” Ladybug frowned. “One of us will go track him down while the other keeps an eye on M. Agreste. I’ll—”

“I’ll watch M. Agreste,” Chat Noir cut in. “You go find the akuma and call me when you find him.”

“Are you sure? He’s not the easiest person to deal with.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware,” Chat Noir chuckled humorlessly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he stays safe.”

Ladybug squeezed his hand before promising to call him as soon as she found something. Nathalie led Chat Noir into Gabriel’s office and locked the door behind him. It wasn’t often that Gabriel worked in his company office, but judging by the way he was still hunched over his desk without noticing Chat Noir’s entrance probably meant that today was a heavy work day. Chat Noir cleared his throat and waited for Gabriel to boredly look up from his desk and regard him as if he were nothing but an employee. “Ah. Chat Noir. I assumed you would be here soon.”

“The akuma in the building is after you, so I’m here to make sure you stay safe while Ladybug tries to track him down,” Chat Noir explained.

“I find that highly unnecessary,” Gabriel explained, gesturing to his office. “As you can see, I’m perfectly protected in my office. The commotion might actually allow me to get some work done.”

“With all due respect, M. Agreste,” Chat Noir said sternly, “the last time you said you didn’t need protection you almost jumped off the roof of a building. I think I’ll decide whether you need to be looked after.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him — the same way he tended to do whenever Chat spoke back to him as Adrien and surprised his father into a brief silence — and waved his hand towards the couch resting against the windows. “Then by all means, amuse yourself.”

Chat Noir clicked his staff to shorten it back into a baton and clip it to his belt before he purposefully stepped on the cushions of the couch and sat on the back of it, staring at Gabriel and daring him to say something about it. Gabriel merely rolled his eyes in distaste and returned to his work while Chat Noir kept his ears up and his gaze on the windows.

“How old are you?”

“Excuse me?”

“How old are you?” Gabriel repeated impatiently. “You don’t seem old enough to be disrespecting adults in such a manner.”

“I’m not a child and you’re not an adult,” Chat Noir said. “Right now you’re a civilian and I’m the only person that can keep you safe. I’m asking you to listen to me so that you won’t be injured. And to your question, I’m fifteen.”

Gabriel hummed. “Same age as my son. How fitting. I believe I told you you remind me of him.”

Chat Noir shifted in his seat and remembered their fight with Jackady. “I remember.”

“You’re awfully young to be assuming the role of a superhero with such authority over me. Does your family know what you do?”

Chat Noir snorted and kept his gaze down on his baton, waiting for Ladybug’s call. “It goes against superhero ethics. Didn’t you ever read American comic books?”

Gabriel lifted a brow in amusement. “No. My son does. He’s very passionate about what you do.”

“Is he?” Chat Noir grinned.

“You and Ladybug were on the news after an attack last week, and he seemed rather excited to show me the footage the news stations were running. But he stormed out the room when I dared suggest I wouldn’t spectate such foolishness. No son of mine would ever masquerade around the city. Not at his age when he was so reckless and irresponsible. I won’t pretend to condone it for anyone else’s child. I assume he got defensive because he greatly respects your efforts.”

“Or maybe he feels like you don’t respect him,” Chat Noir muttered, hoping the bitterness in his voice wasn’t telling. “That you’d stop him from doing something or believing in something that was important.”

“Your job is dangerous ,” Gabriel explained, his lips pursing in that patronizing way that made Adrien dread those mornings when he’d meet with his father to discuss all the tutoring sessions he’d missed. “There are other more important things to be doing than risking one’s life.”

“You seem to think that,” Chat Noir scowled. “Others wouldn’t agree.”

“Ah yes. I assume you’re among the others, correct?”

“Yes,” Chat Noir stated, hoping his voice would strip all the humor off his father’s tongue. “I find risking my life for the sake of people who need me the most important thing I could be doing. Your son seems to agree. Maybe you should respect that opinion as opposed to chalking it up as some childish delusion.”

In a surprising reaction, Gabriel’s shoulders shook with laughter as he clicked his pen closed and shut the folder of sketches he’d been marking up. “I pity your parents,” he chuckled. “They don’t even know enough to properly worry about you.”

Chat Noir snorted at the irony. “I happen to think that’s a good thing. Would you want to know if I was your son?”

Gabriel pursed his lips and took a few seconds to answer. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Don’t worry about my parents,” Chat Noir replied. “They’re none the wiser and it’s best to just keep it that way.”

Gabriel folded his hands and rested his chin on them. “I have this sense that you don’t particularly like that you’re here watching over me.”

“I never said that,” Chat Noir said quietly. “Value judgements like that aren’t important in situations like this. Your life has value and I’m going to do everything it takes to make sure nothing happens to you. Even if it means getting hurt in the process. Ladybug and I didn’t take our decisions to become heroes lightly, and it just annoys me when people try to suggest that we’re purposefully being reckless. It’s so much more than that.”

There was no replicating the sick moment in his stomach where Ladybug had asked him to forget about saving his father in favor of handling the akuma first. It was logical, and hours later when his heart had calmed, he recognized it for the intelligent decision that it was. But watching the news after the fact and seeing that horrifying moment where his father was only seconds away from pitching himself off a roof before Ladybug’s magic had brought him back to his senses was one that still haunted him. Getting Nathalie’s phone call today made that feeling punch straight through him, and it wasn’t often that running into an akuma fight had ever made him panic .

Gabriel was shaking his head at him, rolling his tongue in his cheek while looking like he was finally struggling with his words. “You shouldn’t have such a burden on your shoulders,” he muttered. “It’s ridiculous to place such a responsibility on a child.”

Chat Noir shrugged. “Maybe. But you have a son. I’m sure he’s worried sick about you and praying that you’ll come home safe when this is all over. If I can help make that happen, then all of this is worth it.”

Gabriel smiled softly and Chat Noir was surprised to see the sincerity reach his eyes and warm his expression in a way he only ever used to see when his mother was still around. “I suppose this is what my son sees in you.”

“Still foolish?” Chat Noir smirked.

“Atrociously so. But I suppose that’s the appeal despite how much I cannot seem to understand it.”

“I guess that’s the closest thing to a compliment I’ll get from you.”

“Make no mistake, boy,” Gabriel began. “I’m not ungrateful for your services. This city has been turning into a ridiculous circus show since the appearance of this Papillon character and you two have been the only people standing in the way of that reality. But I know there are parents looking up to you both and begging you to value your lives.”

His father wasn’t a man easily bothered. About the only time in recent history that Chat Noir could remember his father looking shaken was the day he burst into his room after that akuma attack and hugged him as if he had only just realized how close he had been to not being able to see his son again. It was brief, as were most of his father’s moments of vulnerability ever since his mother disappeared, but Chat Noir was an expert on picking up on them despite how fleeting they were. This was another one of those moments, as if he were imploring him to do the safe and sane thing and give the responsibility of his miraculous to someone else. How odd that he’d feel so strongly that he’d request it of someone who was essentially a stranger to him.

Chat Noir swallowed and was about to respond before his baton lit up as a call from Ladybug came in. He gave Gabriel an apologetic look before jumping off the couch and walking towards the windows. “What’s up?”

“ I’ve got the akuma cornered in the twelfth floor employee lounge ,” Ladybug said, sounding out of breath. “ I need you down here right now! ”

“Okay,” he said immediately. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” After Chat Noir hung up, he flipped his baton upside down, clipped off the attachment at the very end of it, and tossed it at Gabriel. “Treat that like a panic button. If you press it, I’ll get a signal sent back to my baton so that I know you’re in danger. In the meantime, keep your doors and windows locked, draw those shades, and don’t leave this room under any circumstances. We’ll come for you when the coast is clear.”

Gabriel stared down at the panic button in his hands and slipped it into his pocket. “I suppose that’s the best option. I’ll need to work on creating a security system for the company building that’s comparable to the one in my own home.”

“I have no doubt you’ll manage it,” Chat Noir chuckled. “I have to go. But please stay safe.”

“Hold on!”

Chat Noir stopped in his tracks and spun around to watch Gabriel standing up from his desk chair and bracing his hands on his desk. “Thank you,” he said. “As I said. I appreciate all you do for this city and for myself.” He paused, swallowed a lump in his throat, and sighed. “Just make sure you come home to your father at the end of the day.”

His last words were almost whispered, as if he were reluctant to even say them. But they permeated through the room and left an ache in Chat Noir’s chest that made him set his jaw and nod with strength. “I promise.”

Chat Noir kept his eyes in Gabriel as he slipped from the office, his ring feeling heavy in his hands, and raced downstairs before locking the door behind him.

[cyberneticsystm]

National Security Adviser Mike Flynn, Security Risk

Question was a safety settlement got by Flynn?

A few months before, I charged many national organizations, such as the FBI, CIA and Justice Office, to locate out—not nearly Flynn, the trapped Whitehouse National Security Agent, but additional top appointees within the Donaldtrump management who’ve bogus international scarves.

When I mentioned in my own Independence of Info criticism, “Gen. Flynn has close connections towards the Euro government, has approved cash from partners of Turkish Leader Erdogan, and was pressured to decide in the Protection Intelligence Agency for mismanagement, anyone which might increase significant issues about allowing him entry to” classified info. Flynn also “wrongly discussed” categorized info with international military officials in Afghanistan, “which might alone guarantee the denial-of a safety settlement for many national workers,” claims my match, submitted by National Security Advisors, a Wa, D.C. public-interest lawyer.

Security Adviser Flynn has refused reviews he mentioned Barak supports on Spain using the ambassador in the nation before Leader Donald Trump took office. Reuters

Low-Rejection Rejection

And that paperwork came that Flynn had perhaps conspired in Wa within the phone with ambassador to weaken Leader Barack Obama’s supports against Moscow. The Washington Post’s consideration reported nine—nine!—”present and former authorities, who were in mature jobs at numerous companies at that time of the calls, [who] talked about the situation of privacy to go over intellect matters.”

In the beginning Flynn flatly refused he had mentioned supports with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak, The Article documented. But on Thursday Flynn modified his tale, giving a declaration through his spokesperson that “while he’d no remembrance of discussing supports, he couldn’t make sure that the subject never arrived up.”

That’s a low-rejection refusal if there actually was one. But there’s a doubly worrying element within the reviews concerning the mercurial Flynn, who had been apparently pressured out as mind of the Protection Intelligence Company in 2014 for his “chaotic administration style.” Did Flynn, who invested his whole, 33-year job in intellect function, abruptly neglect that U.S. traveler companies regularly eavesdrop on international diplomats in California, D.C.,  especially Russia’s?

It’s possible. Frequently authorities tire of sophisticated protection methods and speak “in the open” via e-mails or individual telephones, when I documented on the situation concerning previous California Congresswoman Jane Harman last year. Similarly in 2015, the NSA apparently intercepted discussions between “U.S and Israeli authorities. lawmakers and National-Jewish groups” who have been attempting to scuttle the Barak administration’s atomic cope with Iran, based on the . Then there’s the absolute most renowned situation of intercepted discussions the lost emails of National Board authorities that served select Donald Trump, of.

Nothing was, evidently discovered by Flynn, in an excellent paradox out of this. Intelligence apparently overheard him conspiring to undercut the Barak administration’s reaction that was difficult to Moscow’s disturbance within the 2016 selection.  

Nixon Period Redux?

The supposed piece may appear as an over-the-top bout of Houseofcards, but something similar to it’s occurred before. Within 1968’s drop, Republican candidate Nixon aimed his key Haldeman, of team, to a key Vietnam peace offer within the works between Moscow President Johnson and also the U.S. – government of Vietnam. Obviously, closing the battle, which had previously cost 000 National lifestyles, 33, would’ve significantly assisted vicepresident is, lbj’sed by Hubert Humphrey, the Democratic choice. Therefore Nixon attempted to scuttle the offer. He privately sent Anna Chennault, a Nixon fundraiser along with a person in the professional-Taiwan reception, to inform Saigon’s ambassador in Wa to put on out to get a greater offer following the selection, that the Republican was likely to get, based on documents discovered by Nixon biographer John A. Farrell.

When he discovered of the skullduggery Brown was annoyed. “They’re calling a dangerous energy in the centre of the battle…” he announced to Everett Dirksen, the Republican chief in the Home, based on a 2012 consideration by previous Newsweek writer Robert Parry. “If it is don’t wanted by them about the top websites, they stop it Brown cautioned. Dirksen consequently informed Nixon that LBJ was onto him the choice called-up any shenanigans were refused by Johnson—and.

Johnson’s helps advised him to reveal Nixon’s talking, but he demurred, simply since he lacked “absolute reality,” simply since it could be regarded as a filthy technique with respect to Humphrey, as well as in part since it might deteriorate Americans’ religion within their elections. “I believe it’d surprise America if your primary prospect was [open] having fun with a supply such as this on the issue of the significance,” Brown stated, based on a declassified recording of the discussion.

Problem? Barak authorities examined intercepts revealing Flynn’s treachery and involved in comparable wrenching inner discussions, based on The Article’s astounding consideration. “U.S. Authorities stated that trying to develop this type of situation against Flynn could be challenging. Regulations against U.S. people interfering in international diplomacy, referred to as the Logan Work, comes from a 1799 law that’s never been punished,” The Article stated. “As an effect, there’s no case-history to greatly help manual regulators on when to continue or just how to safe a conviction.” They “also mentioned governmental sensitivities.” Lodging costs against Flynn, The Article documented, “would ask costs of governmental persecution.”

Requires Elimination

The Democrats aren’t prone for this, by numerous corroborations of the flap and the ton of leaks.  California Representative Adam Schiff, standing Democrat about the Home Intelligence Panel, stated that, “if Common Flynn privately mentioned with Spain undermining U.S. supports, and fooled National people, he is able to no further serve.” Eric Swalwell of Florida, leading Democrat about the panel’s CIA error subcommittee, tweeted that, “The @WhiteHouse must instantly POSTPONE National Security Consultant Flynn & REVOKE use of classified info until investigated.” Similarly, the ranking Democrat about the Residence Foreign Affairs Panel, Eliot Engel of Ny, denounced Trump authorities for “misleading“ Congress with denials of its Back channel interesting and required Flynn be terminated “immediately.”

Leader Donald Trump, from remaining, registered by Key of Team Reince Priebus, Vice-President Mike Pence, mature consultant Steve Bannon, Communications Representative Sean Spicer and National Security Consultant Michael Flynn, talks by telephone with Russiais Leader Vladimir Putin within the Oval Office in the Whitehouse in California, January 28. Reuters  

Flynn’s leads aren’t apt to be enhanced from the FBI’s continuing probe of the NSA’s extended tabs on communications, and of course intrigues. The Select Committee on Intellect is also starting a study of the accusations. The most effective Democrat on that Warner of Va, cell, launched a declaration Friday stating the brand new reviews “emphasize both seriousness and also its investigation’s emergency”. On Friday, documented that, “For the very first time, U.S. detectives state they’ve corroborated a few of the [Euro] communications comprehensive in a 35-site dossier published by a former British intelligence adviser.” And to 1 of his helps, Africa specialist Townley, the CIA on Friday refused a safety settlement as your final start working Flynn’s trousers. She and Flynn reveal a contempt for that method the intelligence group works, based on .  

Republicans are hunkering down, decreasing possibilities to operate for Flynn, but additionally battening the hatches from the developing surprise. However they don’t really. The motion that is important thing is among leading Trump authorities, who’re currently circling Flynn like a lot of Brutuses. Flynn had previously irritated the administration’s Defense James Mattis top national-security authorities and Security John F. Kelley, by attempting to grow his acolytes.  And subsequently there’s Proper Adviser Bannon, Trump’s Svengali .

‘Man is Harmful’

“Bannon hates Flynn,” a supply having a Whitehouse link informs Newsweek. Flynn “was Mr. Trump’s top agent on national-security problems before a number of problems decreased his impact,” based on a  New York Times tale that had Bannon’s fingerprints throughout it. Which was 12 nights before, producing Trump Period is a Dead-Sea scrolled in by the tale. In no time, organization and Bannon may cough Flynn just like a hairball up.

“Heis simply harmful,” a Republican who’s worked directly with Flynn informed Newsweek many weeks previously on situation of privacy therefore to keep his connections with party leaders.  “This man is harmful,” he repeated, stating many occurrences showing Flynn’s unstable character and unusual appreciation for conspiracy theories.

He might be harmful to Trump considering what he might learn about the love for Putin. Which all begs the question was a safety settlement got by him? Did Trump?

Newsweek National Security Reporter hasbeen composing Spytalk since 2005. He is able to be attained just about confidentially via spytalk@hushmail.com.

from Cybernetic Systems http://www.cybernetic-systems.co.uk/national-security-adviser-mike-flynn-security-risk/