#just saw a “no airbags we die like men”

[kingofsmalldeath]

bumper stickers are so bizarre and appealing to me

for the longest time i didn't even think they really existed outside of movies and tv shows. the part of me that would like to have some silly stuff written on my car is quickly overpowered by the part of me that drives a classic and will do nothing to change how it looks, and yet the call of the abyss remains.

[notyetneedcoffee]

No Secrets, Part 5

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (???)

Warnings: None in this section

Sam stepped up to your front door carrying a tray with two lattes and a bag of pastries. ‘This is going to suck.’

“Morning sunshine.” You opened the door.

“Thought since you missed out on coffee yesterday, I’d bring you some this morning.” He held out the cups. “How’s your face?”

“Thanks.” You took a sip. “I’m fine. I’ve gotten worse sparring in the gym.”

‘Yeah, but that doesn’t scare the hell out of Bucky.’ Sam dug into the bag. “Cheese danish?”

“No thanks.” You pulled your bare feet under you. “So, Steve told you he ah...”

“Confessed his undying love?” Sam dropped on to the sofa next to you. “Yeah, but he hasn’t talked to Bucky. I don’t know why.”

“Peggy.” You provided. “Steve’s carrying around a sort of guilt. He gave his whole heart to Peggy and loving someone is like betraying that, somehow.”

“And Barnes is the only one around who knew her.” Sam was a lot more observant than people gave him credit for. “So is Steve afraid of being judged or he scared to admit that Bucky’s got it bad for you, too?”

You wondered that yourself. In fact, you’d sat up most of the night thinking about Steve and Bucky. This condition afforded you a great deal more information than you ever could have imagined. But with a man like Steve, or a man like Bucky for that matter, you were thankful.

Sam misunderstood your silence. “If it’s obvious to me, it’s got to be like flashing neon signs to you. What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” Sam sputtered. ‘Are you fucking kidding? That’s so wrong! They’ll kill each other.’

“Sam,” You put down your coffee and took his hand. “Damn, you are such a good friend. Answer something for me. Has Bucky ever come on to me? Ever overtly hit on me?”

“I mean, he’s joked. We all have. But, no, not his style.”

You nodded.  “I was given some sage advice when this happened. I was told to not judge people by what they thought, but by what they chose to do.”

“Alright, if you say so. You let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?” Sam sat forward. ‘Just keep me clear of the blood bath.’

Steve Rogers couldn’t seem to rest on the flight home. Despite being physically tired, his mind wouldn’t settle down. He wanted to call ahead to say he was on his way home, but it was nearly three in the morning in New York. Instead, he pulled out his laptop and tackled some of the more mundane work of running the Avengers.  

He read through reports and approve paperwork for a couple hours when he opened the report requiring payout for a car accident. Multiple vehicles were damaged, minor injuries and the attorney recommended a reasonable settlement as the agent in question was completely at fault.  

His eyes locked on your name.  

His fingers tightened around the stylus. It took him a moment to take a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Flipping through the report, he found Sam’s write up. “...stated she sensed the thoughts of the driver behind her attacking his wife. This distracted her, causing the accident. Sergeant Barnes and I were off duty in the area and heard the accident. I recognized the car and we went to investigate. Considering her current condition, the situation was overwhelming to her and we felt it pertinent to remove her from the situation. She had no significant injuries from the accident. I left those impacted by the accident with the contact information for the Compound before leaving the scene.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. He forced himself to breath. You were alright. Sam and Buck were there and took care of you.  

Why the hell had you been driving in town?

Checking on the landing time, Steve approved the expense and read through everyone’s statements again. There was less than an hour left before landing. He wondered if it would be alright to wake you, if he called as soon as he made it to his quarters.

The message alert on his phone dinged.

‘Find me when you land, punk.’

After landing, Steve ventured into the common kitchen in search of Bucky. He found his pal slumped over a cup of coffee and the newspaper. "You save any of that for me, jerk."

Bucky pointed at the pot. “Sure did.” He sat back in his chair. “How’d it go?”

“As expected.” Steve poured himself a cup and sat across from Bucky. “Less eventful than your run for teriyaki.”

“I have no idea what the hell she was thinking.” Bucky huffed. “Said she just wanted to go through the coffee shop. I think she’s got cabin fever really bad. But Stevie, you should have seen how shaken she was.”

Steve took a sip of his black coffee, scowling. “How bad was she hurt?”

“Bruise above her left brow. Little bit of burn from the airbag.” Bucky got up and refilled his cup. “Jesus, when I came through that crowd and saw her slumped in the driver’s seat...” He blew out a strong breath. “It’s bad enough when we’re heading into a situation on alert, ready to fight. It’s something completely different when it’s a surprise like that.”

Steve stared as Bucky continued, leaning against the counter.

“I think I freaked out some of the locals. She said she wanted out and I ripped the door clean off the car. I’m glad Sam was thinking, ‘cause I just scooped her up and carried her to the truck. I wasn’t about to let her down or stop to deal with anyone else.”

He sat down, realizing for the first time the intensity of Steve’s stare. “What?”

Steve’s back went stiff. He frowned, before diverting his eyes back to his coffee. “Buck, do you love Y/N?”  

“What?” Bucky leaned back with a half laugh. “Of course.”

Steve stood so fast the chair hit the wall behind him. He was gone before Bucky could say anything.  

“What the fuck?” Bucky put down his coffee, righted Steve’s chair and followed his friend down the hall. The early morning made it easier to track him without asking for the AI’s help. He was headed for the roof, at least that’s what Bucky guessed.  

He stepped out into the early morning air to find Steve standing near the edge, shoulders slumped and a hand pressed into his chest like he used to do as a kid when he had an asthma attack. “Stevie?” Bucky walked up slowly, knowing he didn’t have to raise his voice. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Steve forced himself to take a deep breath, but didn’t turn around. “Does she love you? Has she said that she loves you?”

“Steve.” Bucky came a little closer, but still left some distance. “Talk to me.”

“I told her I love her. Let her know how much, how hard...”  

“Oh.” Bucky felt his gut flip over. He knew the gravity of Steve’s confession, knew how hard it was for Steve to let himself love, really love, someone again.  

“And you just say ‘of course’ you love her, too.” Steve growled out. “Of all the people in world, Buck, why her?”

“Wait.”

“Of course, you two are always joking and laughing. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I’m so fucking stupid...”

“You sure are, punk.” Bucky actually smacked him on the back of the head.  

“Fuck off.” Steve’s arm swung out and clipped Bucky, but he caught Steve’s arm.

“Shut up and listen, will ya!”

Steve just glared.

“I didn’t know you felt that way about her.” Bucky growled back. “After Peg, well, I know how bad that hurt you.” He watched his best friend’s face crumble. He voice softened, “When did you tell her?”

“Before I left on this last mission.”

“In person?”

“Yes.”

Bucky nodded, considering. “So, she was aware of what you weren’t saying, too.”

“Yes.” Steve’s voice tightened.

“Wow.” Bucky dropped down on one of the iron benches. “What, ah, what’d she say?”

Steve’s hands buried deep into his pockets and he turned his back on his oldest friend. “I asked her not to say anything. We talked, and I told her anything she wanted to know, but I didn’t want her answer if it was a shock.”  

“You know she loves you.” Bucky said to his friend’s back.

Steve just barked a mirthless laugh. “Do I? Because my best pal loves her too. Maybe she loves you.”

“Stevie,” Bucky rubbed his forehead. “I would never stand in the way of you being happy, ever.”

“If I asked her now,” Steve frowned. “Would she be able to say she doesn’t know you want her too?”

“Fuck.” Bucky stood up and stalked over to Steve. “Honestly? No. If she’s been in my head, then she knows how beautiful I think she is, how much I want to take care of her, how good she feels. But damn, Steve, that’s in my head. Only. In. My. Head. She’s my friend, our friend. I’ve never behaved in any way that would cross that line. If she’s your girl, I never will.”

“You said you love her.” Steve’s desperately tried to hold on to his anger, but couldn’t.

“I do. I won’t apologize for it. She’s one of my few friends.”

“But you’re attracted to her, too.”

“So are most of the men who know her, hell, most the men who see her.” Bucky shook his head. “Don’t ever use that argument with her, because you know full well women’s panties have been dropping for you since the forties. It doesn’t mean they love you or that you love them.” Steve’s ears went pink. “So, when did you figure out that she wiggled her way past that giant wall of yours?”

Steve ran his hands through his hair, frustration and jetlag leaving him exhausted. “A while ago. Scared the shit out of me. I should have talk to you about it.”

Bucky threw an arm over Steve’s shoulders, “Still can.”

“Won’t that be weird?”  

“My best pal is love with the best gal I know.” Bucky laughed. “That I can deal with. I know you’d rather die than break her heart. Now if you told me Sam was in love with her, I’d have to break his legs.”

TAGS:

@asiaaisa77​ / @babygurl8840​ / @badassbaker​ / @bangtan-serendipity​ / @beautifullungs​ / @buchanansebba​ / @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ / @dsakita​ / @geeksareunique​ / @imma-new-soul​ / @jennmurawski13​ / @jesseswartzwelder​ / @kiki5283​ / @lbouvet​ / @michelehansel​ / @mindtravelsx​ / @morganhoran1671 / @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ / @notyourtypicalrose​ / @nova3312​​ / @patzammit​ / @rainbowkisses31​ / @readermia​ / @rynabarnesrogers​ / @sammghgecko​ / @scarlettsoldier​ / @sebbysstangirl​ / @sexyvixen7​ / @sllooney​ / @thegetawaywriter​ / @theneuropsychwriter​ / @the-omni-princess​ / @the-reading-octopus​ / @thorfanficwriter​ / @unadulteratedwizardlove / @vanillabunn21​ / @vxidnik​​ / @what-is-your-plan-today​ / @wildmoonflower​ / @wwe-fanfiction-queen​ / @sassy89sworld​ / @bitchwhytho​ / @carinacassiopeiae​ / @jessyballet​ / @killcomet​ / @steve-rogers-is-a-saint​ / @phoenixwench​  

[holylulusworld]

Lead on – Part 8 - Strike One to Ten

Request: I had this idea of reader going to Stanford and liking Sam and he kinda leads her on knowingly but goes for Jessica and then years later Sam and Dean meet her like killing a vampire nest by herself with a samurai sword made with vampire blood and she looks so badass with an awesome tomb raider kinda get up and then she’s Crowley’s daughter with an angel and lucifer’s granddaughter so half angel/half demon

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, Jody Mills, unnamed demons

Warnings: angst, half angel-half demon reader, pissed Crowley, arguments, possessive Sam, light smut, fluff, unprotected sex

A/N: I used the spell Rowena used in the show but changed the effect it has. 😉

Lead on Masterlist

“Daddy, daddy…daddy…” You chuckle circling your father, your Katana in your hand. He tried to attack Jody to make you obey, but this time the Winchesters and you were way faster, due to the fact you used your wings instead of Dean’s beloved car.

“Dude, never again…” Dean groans. “You are flying way to fast…”

“I’m an excellent flyer!” You retort pointing a finger at Dean who is holding his stomach, shaking his head furiously. “No, you’re not. Castiel was way more…careful…”

“You want careful, Deano? The man wearing the Mark of Cain and driving a death trap without airbag is lecturing me about safety…” Grinning you blow Dean a kiss before you slide your sword over your fathers’ cheek, cutting deep into his flesh.

“Can we get back to business, daughter? I want you to come back or I’ll kill all your friends.” Crowley warns unimpressed by your sword or Sam’s boring looks.

“Daddy, you don’t get it. I want to stay at the bunker. I want to be a hunter, that’s what I’m good at and I want to be with Sam.” You mutter wielding your sword in front of your father’s face.

“That’s impossible! The daughter of the king of hell can’t be a hunter, Y/N. Follow my orders!” Crowley is glaring at Sam, ready to attack the tall hunter but you push him away, snapping your fingers to keep your father in place.

“I have to show you my powers in that case.” The demons holding Jody and one of the girls in a tight grip start smirking as Crowley nods, but you snap your fingers once again and they turn into dust.

“No! Not again. Do you always have to kill my best men?” Your father groans. He’s not amused at all, fighting against the invisible restraints holding him.

“Daddy, I don’t want to kill you, but you have to stop going after my friends. I’m happy and I don’t want to come to hell. Let me shine, let me be the way I am for once. Sam makes me feel good…happy. I want to be close to him.” You whisper releasing your father. “Please don’t force me to kill you, dad. I’m still mad at you but in the end, you are my father. For once, act like one…”

“Y/N…” Crowley’s eyes dart between you and Sam who is moving in front of you, ready to defend you against anyone, even against the king of hell.

“She’s my only daughter, Winchester. If anything happens to her if you hurt her again both of you will die. I’ll drag you down to hell and make your life … well hell.” Crowley states and you squeal pecking his cheek.

“Awesome, daddy. Now go back home and maybe I’ll visit you soon.” Your lips curved into a dirty grin you jump into Sam’s arms, biting his neck playfully. “I guess this means I can have you anytime, Samuel…”

“Sam…it’s Sam…” The tall hunter groans and you chuckle into his neck, biting his neck harder to the point of pain. “Brat, stop biting me.”

“Make me, Samuel…” Dean shakes his head, scrunching up his nose as you start grinding against Sam once again. “Or you could just spank my cute ass and give it to me good.”

“Hmm…later. Do you want to let Crowley get away with his threats or shall I end him?” Sam whispers into your ear and your core aches. “You would kill for me, Sam?”

“I would to anything for you, Y/N. Your decision…” His hazel eyes search your face as you kiss the corner of his mouth, humming against his skin. “Let him go. This is daddy’s last chance; he won’t get another.”

“You heard your daughter, leave and stop acting like the selfish bastard you are. For once, act like a father and stop forcing your daughter into something she doesn’t want to do.”

After your father disappeared you give Sam a cracked smile, knowing Crowley will never change, not for you. “Let’s get rid of this ugly Mark now, Sam. I want Dean to be free of the little devil.”

“I got a little devil too, but I like her,” Sam smirks waiting for your reaction but you just look at him for a while. You didn’t recognize it so far, but Sam became a man. The boyish young guy is gone and got replaced by a man with scars and wounds that never healed. “Something wrong, Y/N?”

“No, just checked your ugly face. Not bad for an old man…” You tease gently cupping his cheek with one hand, stroking the skin with your thumb. “I’m sorry for what gramps did to you, Sam.”

“Don’t go all soft on me now, my little brat.” Sam smiles letting you capture his lips in a soft kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck as you press your body against Sam. “Not bad either. We should get going, Sam…”

“Yeah���little devil needs to go to bed earlier tonight,” Sam whispers between kisses. 

Nipping along his jawline you feel his heart beating faster and his mind cloud with images of you naked underneath him as he makes love to you, not just rails into you.

“You little sap, Samuel. Maybe I have to rethink my decision to keep you as my sex slave.” You chuckle.

“You’re mine, brat.”

“You kept on telling so…let’s see if you can keep up with me, Winchester…”

----

“This might hurt a little.” You tease preparing the spell to free Dean of the Mark. “This spell will send the Mark to its origin. It was created to keep the ‘Darkness’ at bay. Means God’s dark little twin.”

“Wait…uh…god has a sister?” Dean cocks a brow as you nod thoughtfully.

“Yeah. It was only them back then. Before anything else existed. The big shiny guy created the world, humans and all. His sister got jealous, wanted to destroy his new ‘toys’. He locked her away with Luci’s help. Gramps got the burden to carry the Mark and it changed him.” Dean nods lost in thoughts.

“You mean Lucifer became evil due to the Mark of Cain?” Sam asks glancing at his big brother. Remembering how he acted as a demon.

“Got no clue if gramps was an asshole all the time, but the Mark of Cain didn’t help, I guess. Now let’s do this and later I want to ride you hard, Samuel…”

“That’s not a spell from the Book of Damned.” Sam’s eyes meet yours and you sigh, nodding.

“If we use the spell from that book we might free ‘the Darkness’, ‘k. We don’t want risk this shit to happen so we ‘give’ the Mark back to Luci…” Smirking you grab Dean’s shirt locking eyes with the tall hunter. “No more playing with dangerous things, big boy.”

“Promised.”

“Good, now I need the ingredients I prepared over there and your blood, Sam.” You explain and Sam cocks a brow. “Why?”

“Don’t act all shy now. I saw your cock, ass and everything in between, give me your blood.” Rolling your eyes, you cut Sam’s finger when he’s not looking.

He’s cursing, giving you a hard look. “Tell me about the blood and this spell, now!” Sam orders and you lick your lips. “Fuck, I love your dominant voice, Sam. Now let me finish this and we can fuck…”

“Guys, not right now.” Dean groans but you ignore his outburst, simply mixing the ingredients.

“Y/N…?”

“Fine, I have to sacrifice a part of the person I love, satisfied, Winchester. I could’ve cut your hair or something, but I thought blood is way more effective…sexier.” Muttering you check the spell once again, ignoring the smile all over Sam’s face.

“Love…huh?”

“Don’t annoy me right now. I have to concentrate to get this right…” You hate the smile on his face or the way he leans closer to place a soft kiss to your hair. “Winchester, last warning…”

“Go ahead, princess.” Sam whispers and your core aches. “Not now…”

----

Ab manu Dei! 

Ab manu hominis! 

Ab cruore cordis mei ad fusuro in aeternum! 

Tolle maledictionem tuam, ab hoc viro! 

Ending the spell Rowena translated you watch the Mark glowing before it disappears. A smile crosses Dean’s face feeling the darkness fade.

“I feel…like myself again.” He says hugging you tightly only to earn himself a glare from Sam. He doesn’t like seeing his brother touching you a bit.

“Dude. Calm your Alpha instinct down. Hell, you make me all wet when you act like a caveman, Samuel. Go to your room and get naked. I’ll conquer your cock in a minute or three hours.” You chuckle and Sam relaxes, not stopping to watch his brother, tho.

----

Your eyes darken seeing candles lit all over Sam’s room. Smooth music is playing and rose petals lie on the bed.

“Dude, did you watch too many rom-com movies?” Grinning you start stripping your clothes off. “Going to fuck you so hard, Sammy.”

“I want this to be special, not just fucking, Y/N. I want to feel you and want you to feel me…” Sam says, and you roll your eyes but your heart flutters.

“Strike one to ten for being a love-sick puppy. Now let’s see how I can cure you from being all cutie pie. Want to devour your sexy body right now.” Lower lip trapped between your teeth you crawl toward Sam, dragging the blanket off his naked body. “Hmm…hard for me as always…knew you can’t get enough of me…”

----

 “She made it?” Castiel asks. “Without side-effects?”

 “So far…none. Y/N mentioned the Mark will return to its origin. I hope nothing happens, Cas. Luck was barely on our side over the last years.”

----

Sam’s body is draped over yours like a warm blanket. He’s a completely different lover tonight. There’s no rush, no roughness only the feeling of Sam holding you tightly and the slow strokes of his cock.

You wanted to flip him over and ride him hard but his eyes, his goddamn hazel eyes kept you from doing so. Now you wrap your legs around him, grabbing his biceps to meet his agonizedly slow thrusts.

“I love you, Y/N.” Sam moans into your neck, leisurely rocking into you. You remain silent for a moment, just letting his words sink in. “Y/N?”

“For fuck's sake, I love you too, asshole now shut up and let me enjoy this rom-com sickness.” You curse moving your hands to his back to press his firm chest closer to your breast, causing Sam to shudder on top of you.

His lips nip at your neck, sucking another mark into your skin as he feels your walls tighten around him. “You like it, all the rom-com sickness…” Sam whispers and you paw at his back, cursing his name when he fills you with his spending’s.

----

“Will you stay with me and show me your deep love?” Sam chuckles as you snuggle into his chest. 

“Dude don’t think I will not slap your ass. Now shut up and let me sleep, asshole…”

“Brat…”

“Pervert…”

“I love you ...”

“Same...”

SPN Forever Tags

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If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry.

Sam/Jared Forever Tags

@moosekateer13

Lead on Tags

@tiffnguyen853 , @colsons-crue, @xcastielbabyangelface

[kusholofer]

So let him die

Photo by  Christopher Rusev on Unsplash

Short Story | General fiction

by kush o lofer

“She looks posh”.

“And her bag looks heavy”, she showed her devious smile, stooped on the front seat of the car.

“Then what are you waiting for”.

“What, I am not going. Why I have to do this all the time”, she contended.

“Because we mostly rob women”.

“Then what about a few days back, in San Bernardino”, she implied.

“He was just a lad” he scoffed. “Alright, you want me to do it, I will do it. You grab the wheel then”.

“What” she exclaimed. 

“Grab the wheel”, he asserted.

“You… pig” she snarled.

“Huh, then go snatch that bag before we lose her” he showed his smug.

“Then move, jerk”.

He drove the car and stopped a few meters behind the woman.

She stepped out of the car. She was big for an average woman and her sleeveless denim revealed her big biceps. She stretched her stiff body and looked around. There were only a handful of people on the road and no one in the reach.

“Hey, Jill”, he called her.

She leaned over the window, looked at him.

“You are not going for the kill. Just do it, already”, he yelled.

She spat on his face.

He chortled.

Jill dogged toward the woman while he waited in the car. She grabbed the bag and with a flick tried to snatch it. The woman’s grip was more firm than she had anticipated.  The woman turned promptly and yelled at her.

He can hear her even from the car. ‘Fuck’, he grunts, and looked around. “No response, wonderful” he murmured.

She punched the woman so hard that she staggered and fell, but still held onto her bag. Jill kicked on her hand that loosened the bag from her clutch.

‘Bitch’ she spat and looked around. There was no help for her. A man was watching her, but it seems that he was intimidated by Jill’s stature. She waved to him and crunched beside the woman.

He was still grunting, “Why is she not moving her ass”. He pressed the accelerator and stopped right next to her.

She turned to him “look at these stones” she smirks.

“Just hop in”, he grunted, she complied. Like a rash driver, he took a few twists and turns.

“Drive straight, jerk. I don’t want to die.”

He pressed the full-throttle and they whizzed out of sight.

                                                         ~  *  ~

That night in a hotel room.

“She was worthless, fucking hag”.

“At least, she gave you a tough fight. You were not able to snatch even from an old woman”, he laughed beating his belly.

“Shut up” she shouted. “I would have poked her”, she grabbed a knife from the bed and twisted it in her wrist like stabbing someone.

“Like you used to do with the dogs”, he sneers. “You really like to torture” he scorned.

She giggles. “Look at the stones”, she said, enticed by the jewelry she snatched from the woman. “They must be really expensive”.

“Huh, like she was”, he mocked.

“They look real”, she defied. “Can I have one”, her tone changed into a plea.

“Don’t talk rubbish”, he didn’t even look at her. “Put everything in the bag. We will leave early the next morning”, he swept the spread with his hands.

She pushed everything toward him, except a ring, “I am taking it” she asserted. She stood, “I will be back in some time”.

“Don’t do anything fishy”, he yelled. 

She shuts the door behind her.

“Bitch” he mutters.

                                                          ~  *  ~

Next morning

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Look at the map, where this road leads us”, he chortled.

“You idiot, you don’t even know where we are going”.

She grabs her phone, “do you wanna kill us, drive properly, I am warning you”.

“There is not even a single vehicle on the road. And anyway we never even get a scratch’.

“That’s what I am more afraid of”, she sneered.

‘Haah! Not even a scratch.’ he yelled outside his window.

“Hey, hey, watch out there is a car,” she said cautiously.

He looked at her with a smirk, “let scare those kids, a little”.

He steers to the left lane and drives head on to the car coming from the opposite direction.

“What the fuck are you doing, move it your lane you pig”, she yelled. 

“Just having fun, bitch”. He crackled and turned the steering to the right. The car before them did the same. “Motherfucker what are they doing”.

In her shake, she grabbed the wheel and steered it to the right and their right is off-road. Their car jumped off the road, which was a few feet higher than the surrounding. He pressed the brakes. The car landed with such a force that she smashed her head in the windshield. He smashed his head in the steering and fell to obscurity. All happen before the airbags could save them. The car rolled over a couple of times down the slope.

                                                         ~  *  ~

The other car stopped a few meters ahead.

Two men stepped out of the car and crossed the road to the left.

“What was that idiot thinking”, the older of the two said.

“Challenging us obviously”. They step down to the off-road. “I don’t think they would have survived”, he said, displeased by the idea.

“Yea, it seems like”, he said looking at the car.

They cautiously descended the rough slope toward the car which was upside down. “Look at it, it would be a miracle if they are alive”.

They saw blood on the cracked windshield. “We better be off. No one has seen us”, the older one suggested

“This was not our fault”.

“Yes, this is not that’s why I am saying and anyway they are dead”, he implied.

The younger one crunched to look through the window. “There is a woman”, he turned his head, he felt queasy.

“Fuck”.

“Are there any kids”, he asked the older one. 

“I am not looking at it. C’mon, we are leaving”, he walked away, a few steps and lit a cigarette.

The younger one looked at the back seat.

“Are their kids”, now the older one asked.

“No just junk”

“Now come on…”

They heard groaning and coughing. 

The older one kneeled from the distance, he looked at the man who was in a vague state. He pushed to stand, “come on billy leave. This is too much to handle”.

“Why, what happened he is alive. We should help”.

“I know, but look at all the blood. We don’t know we can save him”.

“So, we let him die”.

He groaned louder like he was saying something.

“Fucking dick”, the older one growled. He walked up the slope toward the road. He scratched his beard, and spit. He turned to billy,  ‘look, do you want to get involved with the police, the hospital, and whatnot. Boy, look at your skin. Who knows what the police will gonna do to us, hold us accountable”.

Bill said nothing, understanding his partner’s concern.

“Anyway, this is not our fault. He is suffering his own doing”.

The man cried in pain and coughed.

“I am leaving, not a moment more and before anyone spots us”. 

“And he, what…”

“He is living his last breath, in agony”, he with long strides walked to his car.

Bill waited there in dilemma.

“Bill, I am leaving, you are coming or not”, he shouted from the car.

The man opened the door of his car and he was hanging in the seat belt upside down, ‘he….l...lp’, he uttered and coughed a lot of blood.

Bill flight to his car in fright, no turning back.

[movedvalkyriesryde]

Friend or Foe - Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

Summary: A dead body comes up on the Avengers radar that threatens to leak some unpleasant   moments and people from Bucky’s time as the Winter Soldier to his friends that he thought he’d never face again.

Warning (overall): violence, depression, anxiety, PTSD, mind control, drugs, suicidal thoughts, major angst and this bitch got a death wish

Word Count: 2,147

A/N: Here it is fam, a lot of dialogue but i kind of dig it, little more inner-monologue stuff next time. Lmk what you think and what you think will happen next!

Masterlist

Prologue - One - Two - Three -

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“None of our other victims had defensive wounds?” Sam and Clint stood in the morgue of their third precinct. They stood over the body of a John Doe that had been brought to their attention because he had the same hallucinogenic in his system that they were looking for. 

“Yea but this is our guy, he’s in our system look” Clint showed the screen to Sam, it showed a surveillance picture of the victim but little information otherwise, just that he was an associate of Court. 

Clint and Sam stood there and listened to the technician explain their findings. They listened to her explain the defensive wounds, the broken syringe glass they’d found in his neck, the blood they’d found on his collar that wasn’t his own. Their eyes widened when the technician explained the possibility that the suspect could have some of the drug in their system. Sam scrambled for his phone and stepped to the side while Clint questioned how sure she was of this possibility.

She said “90%” when Bucky picked up the phone.

“You’re on speaker Sam, we’re coming up to her location now,” Sam bit his lip and shifted in the corner of the morgue.

“Yea he’s here we found him.”

“FUCK” he heard a smack and flinched as he imagined Bucky’s frustration. He’d much rather be with them than here, here Sam felt like he couldn’t do anything for anyone, he felt helpless. Jeffords was already dead.

“She must be going back into hiding,” Steve said. Sam shook his head as if it would clear his thoughts and he watched Clint reading the report the technician had handed over.

“There’s uh, there’s something else,” he rubbed his eyes, why did he always get dragged into this shit, “there’s a high possibility that she has the hallucinogenic in her system right now. She could be delusional and we think she might be injured.”

“Fuck okay thanks mate,” there was a pause until Bucky spoke again, “we found her car, she’s definitely at least injured. Will call you if we find her.” Bucky hung up before Sam could say anything else, before he could offer his assistance to help.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A blue Toyota starlet was pressed up against a tree with its nose compressed in, airbag deployed and drivers door open wide. There were spots of blood on the airbag and trickling down the seat and onto the ground, it left a trail every few meters deeper into the woods and the two men followed silently. They split apart as they moved through the trees with hand guns at the ready just in case. They were silent as they moved, avoiding every crunchy leaf and stepping carefully over every root.

She was loud in her steps, they were frantic and uncoordinated. She knew she was bleeding, from several places but she didn’t care, it wasn’t important. The only thing on her mind was getting out alive. She couldn’t let them find her, if they found her she failed, if she failed, she was dead. She refused to die at their hands. Every other step she fell, the adrenaline seemed to be the only thing keeping her body moving as she gripped the pistol in her hand. 

Bucky moved slowly around the trees, he heard her before he saw her, heard her grunting and moaning as her knee hit the ground and then she stood again. He put the gun back into his holster and stepped around another tree so he stood behind her. Her movements halted immediately when she heard a twig snap. Bucky darted back behind the tree as she spun around, gun held out in front of her. 

He took a deep breath before he stepped out in front of her. Her eyes widened when she saw him, he stood in front of her, his hands up in surrender he took a step closer, he could feel the end of the barrel against his chest, the irony not lost on him that he had been here before. 

“Soldier?” she choked out adjusting her grip, he brought his hand up, his movements slow as to not scare her, and he held her hands with his right. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and she pressed the gun into his chest slightly. 

“Friend or foe?” Bucky licked his lower lip and sucked in a breath as he tried to blink back the water in his eyes. He heard movement in the background, Steve hid among the trees waiting for the right opportunity. 

“You’ve never asked me that before,” her voice was just above a whisper and it shook as she spoke. Of course they would send him after her. 

“Friend or foe?” he asked again quietly and squeezed her hand. 

“I don’t know soldier, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t know where to go.” Tears started to fall down her cheeks and she stammered over her words, she couldn’t look at him so her eyes were glued to the gun pressed into the centre of his chest, “I can’t die at their hands. I need to get away.”

“Now you ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me” Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat, he shifted his weight and she panicked slightly, her grip tightening and her breathing getting heavy.

“Friend or foe?”

“Friend,” carefully Bucky pulled the gun out of her hands with his left and placed it in the back of his jeans, he kept his hand wrapped around hers and held them to his chest. 

“We have to go soldier,” she pulled away from him quickly, her head whipping around before she was pulling him deeper into the woods. “We need to get out before they find us!” She kept pulling his hand and he trailed behind her for a couple steps before she lost her footing and fell to the ground with a groan and a thump. She held her head in her hand and tried to stand but a wave of dizziness kept her on the ground. Bucky quickly knelt next to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her slightly into his chest as she continued to groan in pain. 

“It’s okay, I got you,” he whispered into her ear as she leaned into his chest mumbling ‘gotta leave’ over and over again. “‘M gonna get you out of here, it’s okay we’ll get to safety,” Bucky pressed his face into her hair and squeezed her lightly, he gulped the sob that threatened to escape him and looked up to Steve walking towards them carefully. Bucky nodded his head at his friend who pulled out a pack from his pocket and injected a needle into the back of her shoulder causing her to fall unconscious into Bucky’s arms. 

He took a deep breath and lifted her, they walked back through the woods and into the car. Bucky leaned his head against the back of his chair and squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath before looking out the window as Steve drove them back to the compound, their capture handcuffed in the backseat. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sam stepped into the observing room with a tray of food in his hands. Steve stood tall and stoic in front of the glass with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed while Nat leaned against the table and Bucky sat at the back of the room leaning his elbows on his knees.

“How long as she been awake?” he asked handing Steve the tray who walked back out of the room with it. 

“Two hours” Nat answered. They fell back into silence as Steve stepped into the room on the other side of the glass and placed the tray next to her on the bed. 

“I’m Steve Rogers,” he said pulling the chair out from the desk and sat down. “And you are?”

“Nice to meet you Steve Rogers, I’m uh,” she paused, her eyes moving from the giant mirror to the man sitting before her, “I’m Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“You don’t seem sure of that.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve given someone my real name,” Y/N looked at the tray of food and then back at Steve and raised her eyebrows.

“It’s yours, you must be hungry,” he leaned back into the chair and crossed his arms while she picked at the sandwich. The three on the other side of the mirror were still silent as they looked on at the interaction. 

“Do you know why you’re here?” Steve watched her movements carefully, he watched her place the piece of bread back on the plate and turn back towards him.

“Well I’ve just recently tortured four men, there’s also a large list of other’s lives that I destroyed or killed. I’m guessing this has something to do with that.” Steve sat up straighter, he didn’t think she would bite back so much, or confess so quickly? “Or it could have been the note I left the soldier, did he get my message?” Her voice wasn’t as sharp as she asked about the soldier.

Bucky and Sam looked at each other briefly asking the same question which Natasha answered for them quietly. “The drug often causes short term memory loss, they don’t remember the hallucination most of the time. She has no idea how she got here.”

“He did,” Steve nodded, picking his next words carefully. “That’s how we found you actually.”

“He always finds me,” there was a slight smile on her face as she thought about the times the soldier had always found her. The hotel in France, the cabin in Wales, the cabinet in the lab. 

“It’s a shame it put an end to your vigilante activities huh?” Y/N laughed at Steve and shook her head.

“Vigilante? Are you serious? Slightly hypocritical coming from you now isn’t it?” She continued to laugh and look around the room mumbling under her breath, “fucking vigilante.”

“How is it hypocritical? That’s what you were doing, seeking your own justice,” Steve’s voice was sharp, she’d hit a nerve, he wasn’t some wannabe hero he was one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

“I know all about you Captain America,” Y/N sat forward on the bed, “you’ve been a vigilante you’re entire life. Always sticking up for the little guy, fighting the bullies so they got what they deserved and that’s before you even became Captain America. You’re entire Avengers team is filled with vigilantes, Tony Stark, the man who turned his back on those he worked with because he didn’t agree with what they were doing with his company. You even have Spider-Man, he is literally described as the ‘friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man’. And here you are giving me shit for bringing to justice the men that you and your team refused to!” She stood from the bed and pointed her finger accusingly at Steve who remained calm in his seat, his face neutral as she raised her voice at him.

“How do you know that we weren’t in the process of getting them?” Her face was red with anger and she clenched her fists at her sides.

“BECAUSE FOR WHAT THEY DID THEY DESERVED TO BE PUT AWAY A LONG TIME AGO!!” 

“THEN WHY KILL THEM?!” Steve jumped from his seat and shot back at her. She took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at him.

“I didn’t just kill them! I made them live through their worst fucking nightmares, I made them experience EVERY bit of pain that I did! They got what they deserved and you and the rest of your team know that!” Every word cut into Steve like a knife, she was right, they got what they deserved. But they should have gotten it through spending the rest of their life behind bars like every other Hydra agent they found nowadays. “So arrest me, put me on death row for all I care. It’s what I deserve for everything I’ve done, but I do not regret the last four people I killed because they are the reason I did those terrible things. Go ahead Captain, put me on death row.”

Sam and Bucky leaned back in their chairs simultaneously. Bucky rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair while Same breathed out a ‘wow’. Neither could believe what they’d just heard. This girl had a death wish.

“She wanted to get caught,” Natasha said. “She wants to pay for everything she’s done.” She turned and looked at the men behind her, they both nodded slightly, still in shock at the outburst they’d witnessed. 

“It’s not my decision what happens to you,”  Steve walked around to the door and stood in the open doorway, “that’s up to Fury and he doesn’t often give you the option you want most of the time.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Prologue - One - Two - Three -

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Requests are open!

Friend or FoeTaglist (OPEN) (crossed out means I couldn’t tag you, check your visibility settings or maybe Tumblr just hates us):

@forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @occasionalwritingsofmia @avengemepercy @henderwhore4life @stormi-ames @turquoisekokiri @bethany-z @mcuwillbethedeathofme @kneel-begyourpardon @bells3333 @chubby-dumplin

Permanent Taglist (OPEN): @starvinggaywriter @witch-of-letters

Bucky Barnes Taglist (OPEN): @bxrnsfeyson

[valkyriesryde]

Friend or Foe - Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

Summary: A dead body comes up on the Avengers radar that threatens to leak some unpleasant   moments and people from Bucky’s time as the Winter Soldier to his friends that he thought he’d never face again.

Warning (overall): violence, depression, anxiety, PTSD, mind control, drugs, suicidal thoughts, major angst and this bitch got a death wish

Word Count: 2,147

A/N: Here it is fam, a lot of dialogue but i kind of dig it, little more inner-monologue stuff next time. Lmk what you think and what you think will happen next!

Masterlist

Series Masterlist - Previous - Next

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“None of our other victims had defensive wounds?” Sam and Clint stood in the morgue of their third precinct. They stood over the body of a John Doe that had been brought to their attention because he had the same hallucinogenic in his system that they were looking for.

“Yea but this is our guy, he’s in our system look” Clint showed the screen to Sam, it showed a surveillance picture of the victim but little information otherwise, just that he was an associate of Court.

Clint and Sam stood there and listened to the technician explain their findings. They listened to her explain the defensive wounds, the broken syringe glass they’d found in his neck, the blood they’d found on his collar that wasn’t his own. Their eyes widened when the technician explained the possibility that the suspect could have some of the drug in their system. Sam scrambled for his phone and stepped to the side while Clint questioned how sure she was of this possibility.

She said “90%” when Bucky picked up the phone.

“You’re on speaker Sam, we’re coming up to her location now,” Sam bit his lip and shifted in the corner of the morgue.

“Yea he’s here we found him.”

“FUCK” he heard a smack and flinched as he imagined Bucky’s frustration. He’d much rather be with them than here, here Sam felt like he couldn’t do anything for anyone, he felt helpless. Jeffords was already dead.

“She must be going back into hiding,” Steve said. Sam shook his head as if it would clear his thoughts and he watched Clint reading the report the technician had handed over.

“There’s uh, there’s something else,” he rubbed his eyes, why did he always get dragged into this shit, “there’s a high possibility that she has the hallucinogenic in her system right now. She could be delusional and we think she might be injured.”

“Fuck okay thanks mate,” there was a pause until Bucky spoke again, “we found her car, she’s definitely at least injured. Will call you if we find her.” Bucky hung up before Sam could say anything else, before he could offer his assistance to help.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A blue Toyota starlet was pressed up against a tree with its nose compressed in, airbag deployed and drivers door open wide. There were spots of blood on the airbag and trickling down the seat and onto the ground, it left a trail every few meters deeper into the woods and the two men followed silently. They split apart as they moved through the trees with hand guns at the ready just in case. They were silent as they moved, avoiding every crunchy leaf and stepping carefully over every root.

She was loud in her steps, they were frantic and uncoordinated. She knew she was bleeding, from several places but she didn’t care, it wasn’t important. The only thing on her mind was getting out alive. She couldn’t let them find her, if they found her she failed, if she failed, she was dead. She refused to die at their hands. Every other step she fell, the adrenaline seemed to be the only thing keeping her body moving as she gripped the pistol in her hand.

Bucky moved slowly around the trees, he heard her before he saw her, heard her grunting and moaning as her knee hit the ground and then she stood again. He put the gun back into his holster and stepped around another tree so he stood behind her. Her movements halted immediately when she heard a twig snap. Bucky darted back behind the tree as she spun around, gun held out in front of her.

He took a deep breath before he stepped out in front of her. Her eyes widened when she saw him, he stood in front of her, his hands up in surrender he took a step closer, he could feel the end of the barrel against his chest, the irony not lost on him that he had been here before.

“Soldier?” she choked out adjusting her grip, he brought his hand up, his movements slow as to not scare her, and he held her hands with his right. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and she pressed the gun into his chest slightly.

“Friend or foe?” Bucky licked his lower lip and sucked in a breath as he tried to blink back the water in his eyes. He heard movement in the background, Steve hid among the trees waiting for the right opportunity.

“You’ve never asked me that before,” her voice was just above a whisper and it shook as she spoke. Of course they would send him after her.

“Friend or foe?” he asked again quietly and squeezed her hand.

“I don’t know soldier, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t know where to go.” Tears started to fall down her cheeks and she stammered over her words, she couldn’t look at him so her eyes were glued to the gun pressed into the centre of his chest, “I can’t die at their hands. I need to get away.”

“Now you ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me” Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat, he shifted his weight and she panicked slightly, her grip tightening and her breathing getting heavy.

“Friend or foe?”

“Friend,” carefully Bucky pulled the gun out of her hands with his left and placed it in the back of his jeans, he kept his hand wrapped around hers and held them to his chest.

“We have to go soldier,” she pulled away from him quickly, her head whipping around before she was pulling him deeper into the woods. “We need to get out before they find us!” She kept pulling his hand and he trailed behind her for a couple steps before she lost her footing and fell to the ground with a groan and a thump. She held her head in her hand and tried to stand but a wave of dizziness kept her on the ground. Bucky quickly knelt next to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her slightly into his chest as she continued to groan in pain.

“It’s okay, I got you,” he whispered into her ear as she leaned into his chest mumbling ‘gotta leave’ over and over again. “‘M gonna get you out of here, it’s okay we’ll get to safety,” Bucky pressed his face into her hair and squeezed her lightly, he gulped the sob that threatened to escape him and looked up to Steve walking towards them carefully. Bucky nodded his head at his friend who pulled out a pack from his pocket and injected a needle into the back of her shoulder causing her to fall unconscious into Bucky’s arms.

He took a deep breath and lifted her, they walked back through the woods and into the car. Bucky leaned his head against the back of his chair and squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath before looking out the window as Steve drove them back to the compound, their capture handcuffed in the backseat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sam stepped into the observing room with a tray of food in his hands. Steve stood tall and stoic in front of the glass with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed while Nat leaned against the table and Bucky sat at the back of the room leaning his elbows on his knees.

“How long as she been awake?” he asked handing Steve the tray who walked back out of the room with it.

“Two hours” Nat answered. They fell back into silence as Steve stepped into the room on the other side of the glass and placed the tray next to her on the bed.

“I’m Steve Rogers,” he said pulling the chair out from the desk and sat down. “And you are?”

“Nice to meet you Steve Rogers, I’m uh,” she paused, her eyes moving from the giant mirror to the man sitting before her, “I’m Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“You don’t seem sure of that.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve given someone my real name,” Y/N looked at the tray of food and then back at Steve and raised her eyebrows.

“It’s yours, you must be hungry,” he leaned back into the chair and crossed his arms while she picked at the sandwich. The three on the other side of the mirror were still silent as they looked on at the interaction.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Steve watched her movements carefully, he watched her place the piece of bread back on the plate and turn back towards him.

“Well I’ve just recently tortured four men, there’s also a large list of other’s lives that I destroyed or killed. I’m guessing this has something to do with that.” Steve sat up straighter, he didn’t think she would bite back so much, or confess so quickly? “Or it could have been the note I left the soldier, did he get my message?” Her voice wasn’t as sharp as she asked about the soldier.

Bucky and Sam looked at each other briefly asking the same question which Natasha answered for them quietly. “The drug often causes short term memory loss, they don’t remember the hallucination most of the time. She has no idea how she got here.”

“He did,” Steve nodded, picking his next words carefully. “That’s how we found you actually.”

“He always finds me,” there was a slight smile on her face as she thought about the times the soldier had always found her. The hotel in France, the cabin in Wales, the cabinet in the lab.

“It’s a shame it put an end to your vigilante activities huh?” Y/N laughed at Steve and shook her head.

“Vigilante? Are you serious? Slightly hypocritical coming from you now isn’t it?” She continued to laugh and look around the room mumbling under her breath, “fucking vigilante.”

“How is it hypocritical? That’s what you were doing, seeking your own justice,” Steve’s voice was sharp, she’d hit a nerve, he wasn’t some wannabe hero he was one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

“I know all about you Captain America,” Y/N sat forward on the bed, “you’ve been a vigilante you’re entire life. Always sticking up for the little guy, fighting the bullies so they got what they deserved and that’s before you even became Captain America. You’re entire Avengers team is filled with vigilantes, Tony Stark, the man who turned his back on those he worked with because he didn’t agree with what they were doing with his company. You even have Spider-Man, he is literally described as the ‘friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man’. And here you are giving me shit for bringing to justice the men that you and your team refused to!” She stood from the bed and pointed her finger accusingly at Steve who remained calm in his seat, his face neutral as she raised her voice at him.

“How do you know that we weren’t in the process of getting them?” Her face was red with anger and she clenched her fists at her sides.

“BECAUSE FOR WHAT THEY DID THEY DESERVED TO BE PUT AWAY A LONG TIME AGO!!”

“THEN WHY KILL THEM?!” Steve jumped from his seat and shot back at her. She took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at him.

“I didn’t just kill them! I made them live through their worst fucking nightmares, I made them experience EVERY bit of pain that I did! They got what they deserved and you and the rest of your team know that!” Every word cut into Steve like a knife, she was right, they got what they deserved. But they should have gotten it through spending the rest of their life behind bars like every other Hydra agent they found nowadays. “So arrest me, put me on death row for all I care. It’s what I deserve for everything I’ve done, but I do not regret the last four people I killed because they are the reason I did those terrible things. Go ahead Captain, put me on death row.”

Sam and Bucky leaned back in their chairs simultaneously. Bucky rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair while Same breathed out a ‘wow’. Neither could believe what they’d just heard. This girl had a death wish.

“She wanted to get caught,” Natasha said. “She wants to pay for everything she’s done.” She turned and looked at the men behind her, they both nodded slightly, still in shock at the outburst they’d witnessed.

“It’s not my decision what happens to you,”  Steve walked around to the door and stood in the open doorway, “that’s up to Fury and he doesn’t often give you the option you want most of the time.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previous - Next

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Requests are open!

[kpoprunsmylifenow]

I Wanna Make You Mine Chapter 2:

Dongwon had been looking into this new group, A.C.E. You’d found out that they’d been hitting almost everyone. They’d been taking shipments that was mostly drugs and weapons. Heejun and Zelo had been sent to spy on them for a little while, and hadn’t gotten much from it. There were a couple of people who they both had seen them before, and they figured they were the ones who were A.C.E’s insiders. Since the attack, you and Yongguk hadn’t been anywhere by yourselves. Jihun made sure to be near you at all times since then, fearing that they’ll target you next. Yongguk had made sure to go get Hicham as soon as possible, he got him 2 days after. He’d been pretty beat up, he’d said a little about it to Heejun and Zelo, but nothing really to you or Yongguk.

“Y/N.” You heard Jihun say as he knocked on your open door. “There’s been another shipment stolen.” You huffed and grabbed your jacket.

“Let’s fuckin’ go.” You told one of your lower guys to go get the rest of the guys. When you got to the cars, everyone was already there. Seoham was handing you your 2 pistols, when you got comfortable inside. You gave them the rundown of what you know, and Jihun added in what he knew. You made sure to tell Jongup about what happened, and what you were doing before you got out of the vehicle.

Walking into the warehouse, you huffed. There were bodies everywhere. Some of them weren’t yours, so you made sure that they were all searched before you began to walk around to see if you could find any clues. There were a couple of your higher guys that you could tell had been searched. You knew that they didn’t have anything on them, knowing that they’d get slaughtered by you if they gave up any information, accident or not. You didn’t get much from there, but you could tell that they had a lot of lowers. 

On the way back to your house, you realized that someone was following you. Jihun looked over at you, and you nodded. You all knew what was going to happen, you weren’t about to give them the location of your own home. You called Jongup.

“What’s up?” He asked as you heard him rolling around in his chair.

“I need to make this quick. We’re being followed. I’m just informing you now. I’m pretty sure it’s them, so when Jihun get’s to you, make sure you track me down so I know where to hit them after I murder their dumbass leaders.” You saw them speeding up. “Guys.” You said quietly. “Brace yourselves.” And then you got hit. Jihun tried to keep you on the road, but he could only do so much. The airbags deployed when you started to roll. You must’ve blacked out, because when you came too you heard someone talking outside.

“Did you really have to make them flip?” You heard them groan out. “Now it’s gonna be hard to get her door off.”

“Well, how do you expect me to get her?” The other person asked. “You know the bosses what her alive. They were already trying to get info out of that B.A.P. guy, but he wouldn’t give them anything. So they’re gonna try something worse with her.” And then your door was being torn open. When you opened your eyes, you saw a guy with short black hair and silver hair looking at you. “Well, I really fucked them up.” The smaller one laughed as the dark haired one started to drag you out. What little of your body didn’t hurt, you tried to move away from him, but you didn’t move far enough away.

“Well while you get her out, I’ll have the others tie everyone else up and I’ll check on her injuries before we leave.” You blacked out again, and when you woke up again, it was to the silver haired boy leaning over you. You punched him and tried to get up, but you hurt a lot. Groaning as you tried to get to your feet, you were grabbed and held against a chest, which only made your side hurt more.

“Where are you going?” You heard him laughed a little. “We were trying to be considerate, but since you want to be difficult.” He sighed and brought you over to a blacked out car. “Come on guys. If you’re done with those idiots then lets go.” Someone was bringing the silver haired boy to the car, his lip busted from where you hit him. And then there was a bag being placed over your head.

---

When you woke again, you were tied to a chair. Thankfully your injuries had been taken care of while you were passed out. Groaning, you looked around to see what you could find out about this place. There was one door, and it was a usual torture room. There was one working light that sat a little ways behind you, a door that was to your left, and a wall of weapons that sat in front of you with a dim light over them.

Fuck.

You decided to get some sleep while you could, it was going to be a while before you could sleep peacefully.

---

The first thing you heard when you woke up was to voices by the weapons wall. You wish you had your own pistols in their respective holsters, but they’d taken them and left them at the crash. God you hope that Jihun and the guys were alright. You’d grown close to them while you were growing up, so you’d feel guilty if they got killed now.

“She’s been passed out for a while.” You heard a new voice say, it wasn’t any of the guys from the crash.

“Maybe she got a concussion from the crash. Keonhee sent me a picture of the car, it was pretty bad.” Another new voice said as they stepped near you and grabbed your head. Your head still hurt, but you tried not to tense up when they touched you. “We’ll wait a few more hours and if she’s not awake by then we’ll go get up some of her henchmen.” And with that they left.

You opened your eyes to see that your chair had been moved back. You groaned, realizing that they’d changed your bandages, which means you’d had an opportunity to try an escape. But you’d wasted it trying to get some sleep. You decided that you’d stay awake this time, not wanting them to go after any of the boys.

When they finally came in, you were inspecting under your nails, since you heard them coming down the hall towards your room.

“Ah, she’s finally awake.” You heard as 2 men walked into the room.

“Yeah. That’s what happens when you crash my car.” You sassed.

“Oh, Donghun she’s gonna give you a run for your money with her sass.” The one with grey hair said. Donghun rolled his eyes and made his way towards you.

“How are you feeling princess?” He asked with a sickly sweet smile. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not a princess.” You sighed. “I’m the queen, so let’s stop playing games and you tell me what you really want.” You would’ve crossed your arms and legs if they hadn’t been tied.

“Oh,” The other one awed. “She’s feisty. Sehyoon will like her.”

“What we want is your empire.” Donghun said as he walked back over to the rack of weapons. “You, or whoever is running your group, has made quite the name for themselves.” You rolled your eyes. You knew that you’d kept your role in the group hidden, mainly because of your father, and you never clarified after he died. So no one really knew about who was running the group. 

“Then why did you kidnap me if you don’t know who’s running the group?” You knew you were trying to get under their skin.

“Well you obviously are important. You were with a whole group of henchmen when you went to check the shipment we stole.” You rolled your eyes and looked bored.

“Or I couldn’t matter and you’re wasting your time.” They eyed you a minute before Donghun pulled the other closer to talk. You couldn’t really hear them, but you did find out that the other’s name was Byeongkwan. And you heard that their leaders name was Jun. You made sure to tell Yongguk when you got out.

“You know,” Byeongkwan said as he walked closer to you. “You must be high up if your talking with B.A.P.” He grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “But we don’t know. Well, for right now.” He smiled sinisterly and let go of you while Donghun came closer to you.

“Let’s get started.” And the torture began.

---

You honestly didn’t know how long you’d been here in the basement. 5 guys had come to visit you, and you were surprised you hadn’t passed out from blood loss yet. But you had been getting patched up so you wouldn’t die. They hadn’t gotten any of the information they wanted, but the sass you’d been giving them wasn’t making them any happier. They’d been going harder on you, you guess because they knew that your guys were gonna be coming to find you soon.

You woke up to a loud bang. You hoped it was Jihun and the guys. But it wasn’t. When you saw a couple guys come into the room you were being held in and stop.

“Uh.” The one with blonde hair say. “Ace what are we gonna do with her?”

“Well obviously you’re gonna release me!” You yelled as you struggled to make it to the wall with all the weapons on it. Ace grabbed the back of your chair.

“Do you know how long you’ve been here?” He asked cutting the ropes that held you to the chair. You groaned as the feeling came back into your limbs.

“I don’t know.” You said as you tried to stand up, but the tall guy that was by the door came and helped you up. “I need to find Jihun.” You grabbed 2 pistols off the wall and made sure there was ammo in it. “As long as you can keep me upright, then I can help get us out of here.”

As you were trying to get through the hallways, you caught a glimpse of their leader. You took off after him, pushing your body to the limit. You caught up to him, and tackled him to the ground.

“Bitch!” Jun said he tried to land a punch on you. You kicked him in the stomach, making him clutch his stomach.

“You should really learn to not fuck with people.” You laughed as he spit at you. “Especially the leaders.” And then you shot him.

Walking back to where Ace and the blonde guy where, you had weapons drawn on you.

“You all can calm down. I’m leaving.” You said as you walked towards the door. You felt someone grab you.

“No you’re not.” They chuckled. You almost broke his arms when you flipped him over you, working your body more than you should. Making sure to draw your weapon on him.

“I said I’m leaving. I need to go make sure they didn’t kill the rest of my men.” You groaned as you stepped to leave, but your knees gave out. The two boys that helped you out grabbed you before you could hit the ground.

“Hey, you should really take it easy.” A shorter blonde man said as he crouched beside you. You shook your head. “Well can you tell me what happened to you?”

“I was kidnapped and tortured to try and give info on my group.” You groaned out as you tried to get on your feet. “I need to make sure Jihun and the guys are okay.” And then you passed out.

[spawnofloki2-blog]

Story

    Okay so I wrote this to go along with a Role play me and my friend do. I'm probably going to go back and fix it but this is the first draft. So basically the main character's (Phoenix) best friend commited suicide (Storm) and this is the aftermath of that.

Her tears stained her now pale skin. They had become a shallow white over the days from her starving and withholding sleep from herself. She tiredly continued to wrap the rope around the loop, making a sloppy noose. But she couldn’t bring herself to hang it up, she didn’t want to go out like he did, no this was going to be special she told herself.

    She made her bed, smoothing down all the wrinkles. A bag of bitter almonds lay on her desk, begging to be opened. “Two to six almonds contain enough cyanide to kill a person.” She quietly whispered to herself, or so she thought. What she wasn’t aware of was a being glancing at her from the shadows. She had known the man when she was younger she called him Mr. Shadow Man, but now that she was older she had stopped believing in her so called “imaginary” friend.

    Phoenix was about to grab a handful of her last meal when there was a knock on her door. She was scared of the person entering her room and seeing her trying to kill herself. Luckily they didn’t turn the door knob.

    “Hey kiddo?” The oddly quiet voice of her father called through the door.

    She shuddered and tears streamed down her face, she evened her voice to not give her father a reason to worry about her. “Yeah?”

    “The Fernandez’s and Redfox’s are here, just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to see them.” He held back a cry. He had been helplessly watching his little girl suffer with the pain of her friend leaving her. He had known the pain of Igneel leaving but he knew that he was alive.

    “Okay, tell them that I say hi.” She softly spoke.

    Natsu nodded lightly, “It’ll be okay Phoenix.” he eagerly waited for her answer.

    “I know dad.” Natsu walked away and went to visit with his guests.

    Phoenix instantly took a handful of almonds and ate them all at once. She wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t wake up again. If Storm could quit why couldn’t she? The room began to spin and she had to grip onto the edge of her desk. Her hand wandered for a cup, a cup she ended up knocking over.

    “Hello? Phoenix?” It was Seevo.

    Thump. Thump.

    “C’mon pyro, we want to help.” This one was Coal.

    Thump. Thump.

    “Just let us in already.” Erikson.

    Thump. Thump. Thump-

    Her body fell to the ground, suddenly exhausted. The three men heard this and opened the door, their own hearts racing. Coal knelt by her and sat her limp body up, hoping she had just fell asleep. The son of Gajeel walked around the room, something made him question what had happened. It wasn’t until he saw the bag of almonds that he knew what had happened.

    “Fucking idiot!” he growled. Seevo looked over at him, a look of fear and uncertainty. As Erikson displayed the bag to the others the only sound was the hollow groans coming from Phoenix.

    Within a moment they were on their feet thundering down the steps. They ran past their parents and Coal grabbed his keys off the coat rack. Coal tossed the keys to the Redfox as he slid over the black car. Coal took the back seat and kept holding on to his dying sister. The key was thrust into the ignition and the purple haired boy had just enough time to climb into the old car before they sped out of the driveway.

    Like something out of an action movie the car flew over bumps and sped down the road. Seevo had decided to call his mother, Erza, and explain what had happened. All of the adults scrambled to their vehicles and drove to the hospital.

    "C'mon sis, don't you dare leave me too." The blonde quietly whispered as he rubbed her head.

    Erikson hit the wheel in frustration, "First Storm, now the Pinky, who is gonna die next?" he roared. "Me?! Seevo?! Oh I know, it'll be your mom Coal!"

    "Why would you say that?" Coal squealed, warm tears fell from his eyes.

    "Would you two please stop yelling? We need to get to the- ERIKSON STOP THE-"

    While the blackhaired dragon slayer was talking to his comrade he had failed to notice the light in front of him had turned red. A big white van had rammed into the side of the car and they all jostled from nothing restraining them to their seats.

    The airbag saved the two boys up front, but the same couldn't be said for the other two. Coal was slammed against the side of the door, giving him a concussion. Phoenix's slow heart rate continued to fade, the poison absorbing into her blood.

    The boys quickly got out of the car and ran to the hospital. They burst through the emergency door of the quiet hospital. Nurses stopped and looked at three teenage boys that had entered.

    "Please help! She poisoned herself!" Coal wheezed. The nurses hurried over and set her in one of the hospital rooms. The boys were ushered out of the room, even though none of them wanted to wait helplessly in the waiting room.

    The nurses hurried to get her vitals which were dangerously low. The doctor had ran in with the tool that would be used to save her life. They were pumping the cyanide out of her system when the monitor flatlined. Her head lolled back as she shuddered her final breath.

    It was at this time that the parents had arrived at the hospital, hugging their children. The Dragneels had managed to get to the hall. Doctors wheeled a new machine into the young girl's room, one that had two paddles hooked with wires. 

    Even though the environment around them was bustling with noise and fear, it was muted to the Dragneel family. People in the hall had to hold back the two men and Lucy fell to the ground sobbing. Natsu and Coal tried to break through the wall of people, but they had no prevail.

    Clear!

    It was dark and warm, fire creeping up the brimstone walls. She had heard of places much similar to this in the horror novels she read.

    Clear!

    She kept turning around, trying to find a way out. She saw a dark figure of a man, "What's going on? Where am I?!" She desperately asked the figure.

    After trying for what seemed like hours, Coal, Natsu, and Lucy made it to her room. They all stopped, not wanting to believe the sight in front of them.

    The figure disappeared. "No! Wait!" She ran over to the spot in which it had once stood. Warm tears ran down her cheeks, she wished she had never eaten those almonds. She felt a cold hand grasp her shoulder.

    The doctors looked at one another then logged the time, the time of death. The pink haired father pushed aside the nurses and knelt by his daughter's lifeless corpse. He grabbed her hand and sobbed. He never wanted to see his little girl leave him again, not after all that had happened to him and their family.

    She turned around and saw an extremely tall man. He had pale skin with quite a few scars and tattoos. His arm and leg had been replaced with ice replicas, and his eyes were as cold as ice. She tried to scream but couldn't make any noise, she was too terrified. The man had a scar that ran over his eye with a line underneath it, identical to… Storm's.

    The medical professionals in the room made the mistake of trying to escort them out. Coal had yelled at them, screamed at them practically. They left for the family to grieve, closing the door behind them. 

    "Please, don't do this. You can't do this!" Lucy sobbed as she clung onto her husband.

    Phoenix screamed as the man got closer to her, confusion clouded his eyes. She backed up and began to run, but it seemed she couldn't escape the place she was in. "Please! I want to go home!" She yelled.

    The family slowly got up, knowing that they could do nothing more. She was gone, and nothing was going to change that, they all thought. The parents left, hugging each other and sobbing over their lost child, but Coal however lingered in the doorway.

     He looked down, his hair fell in front of his red puffy eyes. He wasn't sure how he was going to survive now, knowing that his sister was gone. He turned and took a step out, but stopped when he heard something.

    He thought he heard his little sister say something, but his ears had to be playing a trick on him, right? He turned around to prove to himself that it was nothing but a figment of his imagination, but was startled by the heart monitor's abrupt beep.

    His own heart rate increased as he saw the monitor's line spike slowly. No, that's impossible. He told himself. She's dead! But the beeping became steadier, picking up on a heartbeat.

    Outside the room the rest of the party had became aware of the passing of the thirteen year old Dragneel daughter. They solemnly traveled to the room to say goodbye one last time but were greeted with her teenage brother right next to her crying.

    "She's alive!" He cried, tears streaming down his face.

[b0blegum]

Why Am I Here? [six]

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Patient!Shin Hoseok x Psychiatrist!Reader

Rating: R

Genre: Psychiathriller (and a lot of smutty romance too)

CHAPTER: PROLOGUE | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN | EIGHT | NINE | TEN

Status: ON GOING

TRAILER

!! I AM ALSO POSTING THIS ON WATTPAD JIC I GOT NO ACCESS TO TUMBLR ANYMORE !! (i live in a country where tumblr is blocked)

Summary

He was once an excellent doctor. An excellent psychiatrist. Everyone loved him. He was nice, kind, always care for each other, he even got the look. We can say… he was the whole package. But his glorious days ended in just one night. The night he woke up as a patient in the asylum where he worked, with no memory of why he is there or what he has done.

"In two hundreds metres, turn right."

A man in white shirt with the sleeves rolled up neatly until his elbows did what the GPS said. He brushed his hair back before turning the steering wheel right.

He was humming to the sound from the radio when his phone started to vibrate. With his eyes still locked on the dimmed road, he took his phone with one hand and slid the screen right to got the call.

"Hello?" He greeted. The voice over the phone sounded very friendly and with laughs at the background, we knew too well, it was from his friend, or colleague. "Yes, i'll be there in... five." He smiled before he said few more things and hung up the phone and about to put his phone back to the compartment when it slipped over his hand and fell to near the pedal.

He tried to reach for his phone with one hand still gripping firm onto the steering wheel, but he did bent down a little, but his hand reached nothing. He smacked his tongue from the annoyance as his hand roamed around, looking for the thin thing.

"Where are you, my frie--" He pulled his head back to see the road after a millisecond looking down to look for his phone when a really bright light beamed at his direction, blinding his eyes, along with the loud sound of horn. "No, no, no!"

He turned his wheel fully to the right, about to avoided the giant truck that was about to crashed against his car, but he was too late. Both the truck and him were speeding too high.

The sound of the vehicles crashing caught no one's attention since they're driving in an empty road. The truck got his car crushed. The windows shattered and the hood swung open as the machines underneath got destroyed.

He was stuck on his chair with his seatbelt still on and the airbag inflated, hitting his head before his head was thrown, crashing against the window when the car almost flipped over. Blood started dripping down the big cut on his head, wetting his hair and staining his white shirt.

As if he was meant to be left there to die, no one were coming to help him, but not until an hour later, when a shiny black SUV drove passed and stopped few metres away from where his deformed car was.

Three men came out of the SUV, rushing to the deformed car and tried to get him out and dragged him to lay him down on the side of the road.

"He lost too many blood, hurry. Get him on." Said the one who had an earpiece on. The other two obeyed him, dragging him again and put him at the trunk of their car.

"Fuck, we're dead if he's dead." Said another guy.

"Drive as fast as you can, we can't lost him!" Said another who just checked the guy's pulse.

They were driving to the remote area where there was only one abandoned building surrounded by wild shrubs and stopped once they reached the building.

"Quick, quick! You don't want to be a dead meat, do you?" Said the one who had earpiece on. The other did as he told, carried the bleeding guy into the abandon building and shouted for a help to stitch his cut to avoid him from loosing more blood.

"Ugh..." He grunted, holding back all the pains that slowly eating him at once. His head was heavy and he felt cold. His body started to shivered lightly. He was about to hugged himself from the cold when he realised his hand was tied and so did his feet.

He opened his eyes slowly, something was crumbling at the edge of his eyes, probably the dried blood. He grunted again as his head fell back slowly.

"Turned out this asshole is not dead." Said someone with a heavy, intimidating voice.

A guy with a tattoo of a triangle and a cross inside walked painfully slow to where the guy was and bowed down to his level once he was closed enough. He grabbed the messy wet hair roughly to made his face straight looking at him. "We meet again, Shin Hoseok."

You knew something is happening. You know someone is hiding something— no, a few of someone are hiding something.

The lights of the institution were dimming. It is midnight, the time when some of the lights were turned off, including some lights at the corridor area of the office. You looked out from between the curtains hanged, seeing two men wearing guard uniform. The face looked familiar. They were the one who you caught dragging Hoseok few days ago. Carefully, you got up from your seat and decided to follow where they were going.

They stopped at Mrs. Lincoln's office for awhile, made you have to hide behind the wall for a few seconds.

"Is he sleeping?" You recognized it as Mrs. Lincoln's voice. "Tell Hyunwoo to wake him up." She said, before you heard a heel tapping sound as she and the guards walked together.

You squinted your eyes, trying to connect all the pictures in your brain. Mrs. Lincoln, Hyunwoo, Hoseok and the midnight treatment.

You had to hide behind the wall once again once they stopped right in front of Hoseok's room. Hyunwoo came out from the room just to gave Mrs. Lincoln a nod and let the woman in. Now with all the guards were standing by and the door closed, you could do nothing other than waiting.

It took a lot of patience and pushing down your curiosity to successfully keep yourself hidden behind the wall everytime you heard shouting and grunting and some words you couldn't recognize from the inside of Hoseok's room. You thought for yourself. This wasn't the right treatment. Never have you learn someone's treating someone by forcing and hearing those horrendous shouts made you believe that something wrong is definitely happening.

Hyunwoo put in the password of the lock after hearing two knocks from the inside. You tried to remember carefully the numbers he put in, just in case you had to get in... illegally. Hyunwoo got in with all the guards and few seconds later you saw Mrs. Lincoln coming out as she fixed her messy t-shirt and rubbed pressed the skin against her arm.

"He bit me. Give him more than usual." She scoffed before leaving, walking to your direction. "Who do you think you are Hoseok. You filthy animal." She added as she walked right passed you.

"What is going on. God..." You whispered after she was few metres away from you and right then, you heard the door of Hoseok's room closed. The three men already out of the room, with two of them had each of Hoseok's arm hanged around their shoulders.

Exactly the same as the other day, they didn't really carry Hoseok. They dragged him, but this time, the poor boy did not refused. He took this as if he really wanted to be dragged along. He was barefoot and his gown was messy, the bow wasn't tied properly. His hair was messier than before and there was a cut on his neck. A tiny cut, but you can see blood dripping from it.

You mouthed his name as you shook your head, waiting until he was dragged passed you and you cannot wait to see where they were taking him into.

"Quick." Hyunwoo shouted, scaring the poor guy. You can tell by the flinch he did.

He was dragged passed you and exactly then, he got his face on your direction. His eyes widened and his lips ajar. He was too shocked seeing you there, hiding, probably witnessing all of this nasty stuff done to him.

He mouthed something, something like go away, but you're not really sure, since his mouth didn't really open wide.

The guard who realised Hoseok was putting on some weight to the floor, pulled him up and kicked his stomach before grabbing his hair. "Are you trying to rebel again, Mr. Shin?" Hyunwoo asked. No sound was coming out from his mouth, but he definitely was saying a no. "Then don't do anything that made me think you are." Hyunwoo let go of his rough grip to let the boy's head fell forward.

You gritted your teeth and your heart beats faster seeing all these things. You had your fist clenched so hard that you could see your veins popped out and forms of crescents were seen on your palm, due to the pressure from your nails.

They were taking Hoseok away, passed another bar gate with a password.

"I see you are seeing something tonight, Ms. (y/f/n)." You heard someone scoffing. Startled, you almost jumped on your place. "What did you see? Is it entertaining?" He walked closer as his head lifted up a bit with a smirk on his face.

"M— Minhyuk?" You called his name.

With his eyes locked and gazed deeply into yours as if he was putting a spell on you, he cornered you to the wall with one hand caged you, while his other hidden inside his white coat.

"Tell me what did you see? No— How much did you see, Ms. (y/f/n)?"

"I— I... didn't see any—"

"You're a terrible liar, you know?" His free hand lifted your chin up to get your face on the same level as his. Minhyuk's golden blonde hair can look cute on him when he smile, but at the same time, it looks cold and threatening when he smirked with one of his brow lifted up like now. "Did your mom tell you to mind other people's business?" His eyes locked on your lips as his finger traced down your face.  He bit his lower lip at a slow pace, before he had his eyes on you.

You heard a mumbling sound from afar. Someone— no, a few people were coming this way, you can shout for help. This is your only chance to run, but as if he had third eye, Minhyuk can read your move. Right about you were about to shout for help, he pressed his lips against yours. He pressed it hard enough to hold you still in shock. He began to bit your lip and acted as if he did that out of love when three nurses walked passed and stopped for a second.

Minhyuk broke the forced kiss and stare at them from the side of his lazily threatening eyes. "What? You three want to join our good time?" He asked as he scoffed, sending those three to walk again and probably were talking about him kissing you inside the institution— at the place where you both work.

"Now, where were we— uh..." He looked up. "Oh," he looked at you again. "I don't know how much you see, or how much you have figured out." He started off. "But i want to tell you one thing," he brushed your hair, gently. "Don't get too deep."

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[thequeeryclass]

“Fake (v/n/adj) – not genuine, counterfeit”

“Girl, you ghetto as fuck.” she laughed. I had told her I scrub the stains from dirty pants when I forget to wash them for work. I told her I don’t have the energy to remember every time. She tells me that it’s ghetto. Her cheeks were round and proud when she says it. Her laugh carries over centuries and oceans back to a land she don’t know. Her teeth are big and bright. Her voice is power. It surrounds me, pulls me close. She sees me. Not more or less. Just me. She tells me I am her. I tell her I grew up that way. She said I’m of her kind, but my mother’s womb is white. She knows that I understand. I understand that I don’t know. I pretend that I can. Ghetto.

 The colored women hidden in the kitchen accepted me in fashion I had been raised to run from. One parents had worked against with every fiber of their ability. Family was never whole because twelve hour shifts at the plant don’t sleep. Non-smoking rooms at the motel with cigarette burns in the sheets. Skip breakfast because Mama’s already left for work. Giving up makes the little you get look like more. If we throw out the couch, we can put the Christmas tree there. Sweets are cheaper than celery. Soda is better than what comes from the faucet. New means used. Used means it was free. I belong to those women in the kitchen. Poor.   

                                                                                                                                 The leaves are the first thing you notice. When your friend in the seventh grade gives you her “magic picture boxes” and you realize that you never knew that you never knew what it was like to see the world. Color, edges, leaves. No one ever tells you normal people can see each individual leaf on a tree. That’s not how they draw them. Green puffy clouds painted over quick, swift strokes of grass. No one tells you there’s a secret you don’t know about the world. And that is that it’s made up of hard lines and different shades and individual pieces. Your world is not their world. You are not allowed into their world. Contacts are a good disguise. Eyes are not all shaped the same. Glasses are cheaper anyway. Glasses are like a big yellow vest that says you don’t belong. They tell everyone you are a spy in their land of edges and individuals. They scream and yell and they reach out to take away your windows into their world. They don’t want to share. They won’t share. You do not belong. Outside.

 I hear his voice in her screams. I hear my pain in her eyes. It’s her not me. It’s me not him. His anger that lashed out. His highs and his lows clashing together and the pressure formed a twister that took out the town hall during Gustav. His temper floods the wards and bleeds out into schools of dead pets because bullets got bored. Dreams and lifetimes float by on a slick of black oil down into the gulf because they were never anything more than garbage anyway. The rain never stops pouring as mamas drop their babies off bridges because it’s easier than his voice that keeps going when the doors are locked. His voice hits the doors and halls and bounces and shakes till the walls come down like levees because he just needs to relieve the pressure. Apologies won’t erase water marks on walls but I paint over anyway because this is my home too. Six feet underwater, I forgive again. Rotting.

 She whispers that it is all my fault. It’s my fault she’s unhappy. It’s my fault that she’s still alive. She says I have to do better. She says she’d kill herself if I ever left. I can’t go. I can’t stay. I can’t be me. I can’t be her. I can’t be her exes and I can’t be her future. I try anyway. I give her a ring because she doesn’t believe that I love her. She wears it until she loses it. I should be ashamed for not noticing it’s gone. All I notice anymore is how the insides of my eyelids dance when I lay in bed holding her. Rainbows perform a waltz while she scrolls through her phone at three in the morning. Flashes of light tiptoe around the questions on my tests. Red circles during History. Green triangles at lunch. Blue worms wiggle across her face. She wants to sleep with other people. Purple butterflies fade away She never wants to lose me. Blind.

 I saw the headlights before it happened. Didn’t know what they meant. Didn’t realize how close they were. She was next to me. Driving. For a nanosecond of eternity, a halo of light caught the strands of blonde hair on her head. “You’re a tease” she said. “You get me all riled up and then don’t wanna go all the way. It’s not fair.” She was right. I liked kissing. I didn’t like sex. She liked sex. She liked sex more than she liked any of us, past or present. After the first hit, I remember walking myself through the following seconds. I told myself I had been in a car accident. My seatbelt caught me. Second collision is inevitable. Brace for impact. The last thing I saw was my hands go up to defend myself. “I just don’t feel like you love me if you won’t have sex with me.” Those were my words she was taking and recycling as her own. Except, I didn’t want sex. What I had asked for was intimacy. Physical touch. She had pulled away. Said that she didn’t like to be touched. I asked her how we were supposed to have sex without touching. She stopped talking to me for three days. I don’t remember the second hit as much as the first. When the car hit us, I remember the way the frame of the car shuddered. I remember seeing us headed towards the streetlight. I remember closing my eyes. I remember the airbags never caught me. My seatbelt did. At forty miles an hour. Caught me to a dead stop when the hood wrapped around the pole like it was parting the sea. I remember she left me. Jumped right out the car in a panic. “I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship right now. I’ll always love you. I can’t be with you right now.” Can you get out? The voice was loud, and concerned, Ma’am, can you get out of the vehicle? Get out. Get out. Get out. When I pried the door open, the world was cold and blurry and I was terrified that I had a head injury. I was terrified until I realized my glasses had come off in the crash. I took them off the carpeted floor and laid out on the sidewalk, listening as the sirens drew closer. I would not die here. Alone.

 I remember many insignificant things across the dimensions of time and space. I do not remember when I first slept a full night in my own bed again. I do not remember when I stopped needing to check the locks on my doors twelve times a night. I do not remember when I was first able to convince myself that there was no one there on the other side of my closed eyelids in the dark. I do remember hearing the door open in the dark. Whispered drunken giggles of her and him floated around the room. I remember her climbing into her own bed. I remember the feeling of that hand, confidently grasping my leg just above the knee, separated only by my comforter. It’s something I could never forget. I remember I was wearing men’s cartoon pajama pants and an old t-shirt from Sedona, Arizona. I remember pulling away, sure that it was a mistake. I remember the hand gripped tighter, holding it in place. I remember it was strong. Stronger than me. I remember sitting up, and telling the hand to go away. I don’t remember what it muttered. It had a shaved head and broad shoulders. Even in the wild panic of the dark, I never forgot that. I remember the second hand joined the first. Locked me in place. I remember telling it to go away or else. It spoke. It refused. I remember reaching out desperately. Pushing. It didn’t move. Both hands pushed. Hard. It stumbled. The hands left, swaying in open air. They found the floor. They stayed there. I remember watching until sunlight broke through the window. I remember being unable to move because I wasn’t strong enough. I remember grabbing my clothes and running and changing in a public bathroom because I was afraid of the one in my dorm. The one where he was. I remember it in my dreams. I remember it on my pillow. In the dark. I remember it, and I let him go. Damaged.

 Reading is slow. It’s time consuming. Soul consuming. Reading is an existence. I have the patience for it. I don’t have the time. I could write five chapters in the time I read one. I do not. But I could. Reading is traveling. Across time and space and life itself. It’s addicting. I miss it. People suck their teeth. It’s such a good book. I trust it is. The movies are good. The books are probably better. They grew up reading it. I grew up reading everything else. All the worthless stories. Ones that didn’t get a seven part movie deal. Ones no one read. Because they weren’t important. Harry Potter is important. It’s a lifestyle. Harry Potter is queer culture. Reading is hard for me. Words and letters jump around like toddlers on a playground. Sometimes they make sense. Sometimes, if you think about it from the toddler’s point of view, it makes sense. Sometimes it’s incomprehensible and I have to step away for a while. Focus bounces like a rubber ball. It goes and it comes back. One page is five thousand irrelevant thought trains. Fifty pages is a day gone. I don’t have so many days as I have collections of fifty pages. Reading is lonely. Reading out loud is not so much. No one wants to listen to someone read. Not an entire book. Not when there are books that they could read themselves. Reading is hard. For a mind that is never calm. Never quiet. Reading is a silent classroom. Sometimes, you want to scream to let the loud out. Reading isn’t exertion. It’s consumption. They don’t understand why I won’t borrow the books. They don’t understand. Isolated.

How can he be safety? How can he feel like home? How could I be so proud of being a lesbian and then let this happen? How can I be gay and hetero without being bi or pan? How can I allow myself to believe that this means anything? How can I possibly know what love is? How can love be anything more than the abuse I have always deserved? How can I deserve abuse if I did nothing to deserve it? How can he love me back? How can he say that he does and then date her? How can I fix myself for him? How can I even consider changing who I am for him? How can everyone see it but him? How can I love a man as a woman and still be queer? How can I betray my people, my community this way? How do I know I love him for more than kindness? How can one person feel like the whole world? Confused. ow How

 Drink every time you feel like you don’t belong. When you’re standing at a party, surrounded by the beautiful people. Thin, lithe, straight. Certain in their own bodies pressed up against each other. Take a shot every time someone tells you that you don’t belong. When they shake their heads no before you even finish the question. Picking apart the molecules of difference and blowing them up on a screen for the world to see. Shaming you for insecurity afterward.  Sip when you thought you did belong, but you find out you were wrong. You find out that your differences are what you all had in common, but you’re too different. They are different, normal. You are different, atypical. It’s got to be your fault. No one else is like that. You must be defective. If you are outed by someone else, finish your drink. At dinner with her parents. At the diner with your family. By “accident” on social media. Drink until none of it matters. Imposter.

 “Keep you in the dark, You know they all pretend” – Foo Fighters in “The Pretender”. Ghetto. Poor. Outside. Rotting. Blind. Alone. Damaged. Isolated. Confused. Imposter. To not belong. To be a summation of all that you are. To know that you belong where nobody else belongs. The warmth in June when the fireflies begin to flicker. The second star in the night sky. The cold darkness of the ocean. The red clay of the Grand Canyon.  Faded road markers and twisted trees. The first leaf to fall in autumn. To exist. To not belong. To be ostracized. To fade into the background. To burn holes into the earth like the sun. To redefine perfection. To fall from grace and make your own. To sink into the sunlight laid across the grass and grow old with someone in an afternoon. To live just to breathe and to just keep breathing. To be ghetto, poor, outside, rotten, disabled, blind, alone, broken, isolated. To not understand. To realize that the only imposters are your own doubts and the ones that gave those doubts to you. To be everything you are. To be.

  Queer.

[rogue-snorunt]

Why I made a ko-fi

I got an anon who said that if I'm going to ask the public for money, than I need to explain why and it better be good. Which. Subtlety kind of rude but I get it. I'd want to know the story too and while I did give the explanation already in my first post about it, because I broke my own link with my incredible stupidity, I took it down.

reposted the link to my Kofi that hopefully works now but did leave out the explanation because I feel bad involving others in my problems and I don't want people to hear em and feel guilted into anything.

So here it is: the full obnoxiously long saga of the series of unfortunate events that had led me to making the Kofi from start to finish describing my 2017-2018 life presently.

It all started back in January of last year..

The cafe in which I work.. Worked? Work.. closes every January for cleaning for anywhere between 2wks and a month and in the time they encourage us to apply early and collect unemployment. This would be my first and last ever time doing this.

Why close? Mainly because my bakery is an old fashion French bakery where our lawyer city boy rich owner went to France and liked some countrymans brick oven so much he dropped I think it was a million or so to not only buy the oven, but to actually bring said oven to America brick by fucking brick.

And to clean this wood fed oven the size of a living room, you need AT LEAST 2-3 wks to let it cool down enough for some poor scrawny guy to climb in through the tiny wood stuffing hole and excerise all that soot. Plus deep cleaning a detached two story bakery; the kitchen and cafe itself..

Anyway back to the plot:

So on Jan 1st,2017 I applied and by Jan 14th2017, the place temp closed for cleaning.

I had saved 900$ for this because I'd be okay for the month.. $200/month for rent; $50 for phone, $35 for gas, $130 for groceries for me (who has strict diet of lactose and gluten free diet because I WILL die if I eat gluten because my organs swell; attack themselves and try and shut down. Rip™ my diet gets fucking hella expensive. Bread alone is &4-$5 bucks) $300 monthly student loan etc..

Well: not a week in our gas heater said fuck you. So to help repair, there went -$400 bucks. A WEEK IN. Than my grandmas car died, -$250 a week later. Fuck me gently.

Than the fateful blizzard night of Jan 31st 2017 that would be the catalyst of unfortunate bullshit leading today.. at 4:35 on my friend was bringing me home after a fun weekend, as I do not have a car, and he wanted to make sure I got home safe before the super storm hit. The cafe was reopening Feb 10th.

I was later informed that at around 4:56, my friend hit black ice and we °360 hard into a tree. I only remember seeing it about to happen and worrying about my glasses about to break, then nothing. Then looking at my blurry hand and even with my one good but still kind of blind eye, I saw that it was black; blue and I couldn't move it. Then I guess I said "well shit" and went to sleep.

I had broken not only my glasses trying to protect them, the fucking irony.. but my metacarpals; my nose, inhaled the chemical death from the airbag and recieved mild chemic Burns to face and throat. My smol rib cage was punched by the airbag so hard it got bullied out of place and was now compressing my lungs and a severe concussion.

My friend luckily being a 6' ft some man was set far away from air bag and being the impact was more my side, had only bad bruising to the limbs but okay. His truck now an accordion.

The doctor only looked at my hand and ignored my concussion, as I had an in the ambulance and was apparently making stupid nonsense jokes. So they assumed I was fine I guess.

I had to call in to my job and sadly tell them the news I would not be able to work for maybe a few months.

A month later while home and coming down the stairs, I suddenly could not breathe and got light-headed. Not good when you on stairs. I ended up refuckin up my metas and now add broken tail bone to the list.

My return to work just went from hopeful 3-4 months to 6. I was not financially equipped for this

But wait rogue! The unemployment!

Ah yes. The fucking thing that would fuck me harder then the airbag and stairs combined.. You see:

I had asked everyone I knew that had ever collected unemployment before what to do and even the girl who did the disability thing: for I was unable to work; disability would not kick in until at least a month. I got bills men, life don't stop cause bad shit you know?

Everyone told me, collect unemployment until Disability kicked in. Then stop. Okay.. these 6 people would know best right? Dingdong: unfortunate event #3 so far:

By the time disability kicked in I had collected $700 caps. Nice! Right? Well my honest naive ass thought how you cancelled unemployment was to tell em to cease and why. So I did.I explained what happened. This proved to be the biggest mistake of my pathetic life and installed the lesson of "don't be honest with big brother." They said "oh no you got injured? Well guess what fucko. You now have to pay back the $700, or else and guess what, we adding an bonus fuck you of $200 ."

Hahahahahaha-what?

I'm not able to work; disability only gave$100 some and I got friends and family I am in debt to for helping during these shenanigans.

Then unfortunate events #4-#9 took place. my aunt died.

I had to be hospitalized for pancreatitis; kidney stones and infections a few times, sometimes for all em at once.

Then my dog prostate cancer became apparent and despite the medicine and surgery every thing that could hell, he had to leave us for the rainbow bridge.

Than my grandma's car died again.

Then my stepmother died.

Grandma had to get surgery for her knees and began to complain of occasional blindness and migraines.

Went back to work early because you guys do what you gotta do man, only it's 7 months later and in a couple more, the fucking Cafe is going to close again.

By the time it did, I had been using every paycheck to catch up on bills; pay back the my friends and family lent, paying the late bills from my dog and car repairs, back owed payment and feedback to the student loan. and just as I had started seeing the light at the tunnel.. we closed and I wasn't prepared.

Unemployment have nothing but the middle finger.

It'll be fine.. I can handle a month. It'll suck but-

ITS NOW MAY AND THEY AIN'T OPEN.

During the time I was laid off this year I spent my time as follows:

Joined Tumblr and began to meme to counter that bi-polar depression and made some friends, looking at you @m-is-for-mungo 😘💞💞

A man grabbed my hand that didn't heal right and squeezed it so hard he fucked the bone. Had to go back to p.t. Hand once again fucking useless and I had posted about this way back, if you dig in my archive, you'll find the posts.

Applied for a state job at our prison with my friend whose already there, as kitchen worker

Got the surgery that I could no longer put off as it was too fix the anatomical problem contributing factor to my organs rioting like they do, but thankfully since it was considered life threatening, my insurance covered it.

Finally deal with death of my dog; and my family. Then my dad having a stroke and other family stuff.

Got that pesky rogue ribcage displacement taken care of

Fell down the fucking stairs again.

Adopted a special needs cat.

Became once again a financial burden and the moment I could, filled the still laid off time by trying to help my friend at their restaurant as much as possible.

Got the "we want you asap BUT thanks to state Bullshit like budget stuff.. We have to wait for the actual state to say yes" call from the prison call.

My uncle was discovered to cancer but by the time it was found, he had a week left. Then he died.

Got my shit broken by the scorned ex of our roommate

And then got the fucking letter from unemployment mildly threatening me to pay up.

But you said you didn't have a car in January 31st but then you do now??

After the car event, my friend told me to seek comp because I did get fucked up and being a baker who broke their hands, shit ain't good.. I did not want to because it was my friend, it wasn't their fault and if I had had my own car or just during go there in the first place this wouldn't have happened. Reluctantly after much badgering, I did.I did not get anything however until a year and half half later. and yeah, I’ll tell you how much seeing how Im being brutally honest: $10,000.

I immediately bought a $4000 car so I would never again be a burden and every single car I’ve ever owned have been $100+ garbage death traps I got from shady people and for once in my fucking life I wanted a car that wouldnt break down or try to kill me a week later; helped my grandma buy a car that wouldn't fail her, bought her a new fridge because hers died and paid some of her bills she got behind on. My friend had fallen behind on their bills as well and I owe everything I am and still being alive to these people.

You bet my stupid ass, I used almost every dime to help them. And id fucking do it again because: homies help homies.. And when your Nana whose been both mom; dad and nana to you and is the reason you weren't place in foster care needs you.. You fucking help her no matter what.I did have enough to pay the student loan for last month and this month. I got a new track phone because mine broke, bought a pair of shoes because I've only ever had my loafers and the soles fell off finally and I brought groceries. I have enough to pay rent and I am now tapped out.

My only debt is this $900 fuck you from the government and my $15000k student loan.

And now y'all caught up on the fucking disaster that is my life.

I'm sorry for this sobstory of me crying about my problems but i.. I really do not like asking for help.i hate asking for help. I hate that I have to ask for money because I've been in desperate shitty situations my whole damn life and managed to somehow scrape by but for the first time, I'm in a situation that I can't fix alone. And I fucking hate it and that I have to admit it. but I need help .

This is why I made the Kofi

A kofi that is absolutely only for and will only be used, to pay that $900. I promise you that even if I become homeless, I am going to pay that goddamn bill before anything else. Because I helped everyone with their debt and they are all good now, we all squared and now it's my turn to be okay glib-dimit

[bluesmemethings]

various starters

❛  you’re a weapon and weapons don’t weep.  ❜

❛  hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice.  ❜

❛  never trust a survivor until you learn what they did to stay alive.  ❜

❛  death is the only god that comes when you call.  ❜

❛  I am teeth. I am royal. you are nothing to me.  ❜

❛  the sun will rise and we will try again.  ❜

❛  we’re just kids. we aren’t supposed to be heroes.  ❜

❛  I like my women like I like my Absinthe: bitter and intoxicating.  ❜

❛  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ❜

❛  she wasn’t looking for a knight. she was looking for a sword.  ❜

❛  don’t dehumanize bad people, because it’s their humanity which makes what they’ve done so terrifying.  ❜

❛  she isn’t just pretty. she is otherworldly and vaguely threatening.  ❜

❛  magic is not good or evil. is a knife evil? only if the wielder is.  ❜

❛  I don’t want your crown. see, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down.  ❜

❛  they broke my wings. they forgot I have claws.  ❜

❛  all that blood was never beautiful, it was just red.  ❜

❛  what do you do when there’s no hero in the story? simple. you kill the monster and crown yourself.  ❜

❛  how terrible it is, to love something that death can touch.  ❜

❛  you may not be interested in war, but it is interested in you.  ❜

❛  I feel divinity in my bones like aching. like fire.  ❜

❛  you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. now.  ❜

❛  you are losing my interest and that is very dangerous.  ❜

❛  she will burn your kingdoms down, herself with it, if it means your ruin.  ❜

❛  it’s okay to be scared. it means your about to do something brave.  ❜

❛  she looks like divine absolution.  ❜

❛  I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find and impossible to forget.  ❜

❛  be careful with words. they can be forgive, but never forgotten.  ❜

❛  you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself.  ❜

❛  I’m tired of fighting. for once, I want to be fought for.  ❜

❛  never run back to what broke you.  ❜

❛  I was quite, but not blind.  ❜

❛  your gut knows what’s up. trust that bitch.  ❜

❛  we all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.  ❜

❛  do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.  ❜

❛  I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a donut.  ❜

❛  you can miss something but not want it back.  ❜

❛  you can’t save people, you can only love them.  ❜

❛  I came, I saw, I made it awkward.  ❜

❛  we buy shite we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.  ❜

❛  you’re always one decision away from a different life.  ❜

❛  my brain has too many tabs open.  ❜

❛  I’m not saying I hate you, just that you’re like the Monday of people.  ❜

❛  there’s no ‘we’ in fries.  ❜

❛  apology accepted, trust denied.  ❜

❛  death and I have been scandalously intimate for some time now.  ❜

❛  life happens. coffee helps.  ❜

❛  I am mine before I am ever anyone else’s.  ❜

❛  I rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.  ❜

❛  very early in my life it was already too late.  ❜

❛  is that a threat or are you flirting with me.  ❜

❛  was the use of force necessary in completing your objectives?  ❜

❛  I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand.  ❜

❛  I do bad things, and I do them very well.  ❜

❛  you drink too much, you cuss too much and you have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted.  ❜

❛  they will kill you, but first they will have to catch you.  ❜

❛  drugs might kill you but they’ll never break your heart.  ❜

❛  good girls are just bad girls that haven’t been caught.  ❜

❛  a pretty face doesn’t guarantee a pretty heart.  ❜

❛  no airbag, we die like men.  ❜

❛  true evil is, above all, seductive.  ❜

❛  it takes more courage to suffer than to die.  ❜

❛  you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time. but the wolf? he only needs enough luck to catch you once.  ❜

❛  justice is vengeance in prettier packaging.  ❜

[ecchima]

Unexpected Meeting on Peace Avenue -Chap 1

Summary: After a bank robbery gone wrong, Jesse left the Deadlock gang and ran as far away as he could, using what little money he had. With no real destination in mind, he arrived at San Francisco, a city he knows nothing about. With only two dollars and ten cents, he just hopes he’ll manage to survive and that neither the police nor the Deadlock gang will catch him.

Meanwhile, Hanzo arrived at San Francisco at the end of August with the order to lose his strong Japanese accent while studying at the University. He’s barely gotten out and honestly doesn’t want to… Until he gets a crush on a lonely cowboy.

Words: 3,8k Rating: T Warning: brief sexual assault during the bank robbery AO3

Chapter 1: When San Fracisco becomes misty

It’s the beginning of the afternoon when Jesse finally finds a good spot to sit on in the heavily populated avenue. A little corner, just his size, where he would be protected from the cold wind and the shop owners’ view while still being visible to the crowd and not too far away from an alleyway he could use to escape if trouble decided to come his way again.

As soon as his butt touches the ground however, he wishes he hadn’t thrown away his jacket just so he could sit on it and spare his ass from the biting cold of the asphalt. Trying not to think about the cold or why exactly he had to throw his jacket away, Jesse sets his hat down in front of him and throws his last two dollars and ten cents inside. He wishes he had a pen to write on a cardboard piece but he guesses that if he had a choice, he’d rather get himself a blanket with that money. Maybe he’d steal a pen somewhere later… And food. Had it been in other circumstances, he would already have stolen all that, and more. He would have found an empty apartment and broken in before calling his family to come and help him.

Jesse scoffs. His family. He couldn’t keep calling them that. He’s better off without them, especially after what happened. He sighs and closes his eyes. Deadlock had been his family for a long time though, ever since he ran off from his dad.

He remembers how it all started as if it happened only yesterday. He’d been running from the cops that day, looking frantically for a safe place to hide. It took him a while but he had found one, only he wasn’t the only one hiding there. Deadlock members, at least ten of them, were all around him. He remembers how big they all seemed to him, how he thought he would die here and there. But instead of attacking him, they asked him what he was doing here, why he was hiding and then, finally, if he had a place to come back to.

They had accepted him in, given him shelter, just like that. They were just a small biker gang at the time, Jimmy was still the one in command and for once, things were ok. It didn’t last long though, the gang grew bigger and greedier. Rodriguez always wanted more while Jimmy wanted to keep things simple and comfortable enough for “his family”. They fought, Rodriguez killed Jimmy and things started to change. The gang still called itself a family but it sure didn’t feel like it anymore. It was a crime organization, dealing all sorts of things in the shadows, stealing more valuable goods, killing people on occasions.

Jesse only stayed because he had nowhere else to go…

Until the bank robbery, two days ago.

Jesse and five other guys had been chosen by Rodriguez himself to accompany him to the bank. It wasn’t their first bank robbery and it wouldn’t be the last, but this time they had chosen a bigger establishment. Everything went rather well in the beginning. There were twenty hostages at most, and no one managed to call the police. Rodriguez immediately went down in the vaults with his best men, briefly telling Jesse and Gary, a new recruit, to keep an eye on the hostages while the other three kept watch of the streets and entrances.

But the problem with Gary is, it’s that he gets bored.

That’s when things started to turn sour.

“I’m so boooooored, why do we have to be two watching those rich scums? It’s not like they’re going to try and do something stupid.” Gary whined, pointing his gun under the jaw of a young woman, making her look up at him. “Are you sweetie?”

“We’re not supposed to interact with the hostages, Gary.” Jesse interjected, incapable to keep his mouth shut, as always. “Lower yer gun.”

“I don’t take orders from you, McCree.” Gary spat, yanking the women’s hair, making her whimper with fear. “What’s your name, sweetie? I bet it’s as pretty as your eyes.”

The woman took a sharp breath and closed her eyes, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Are you deaf, sweetie?” Gary asked, sinking his gun further under her jaw. When she shook her head, he yanked her hair harder. “Then tell me your name.”

“T-Tina…” she cried.

“See, it wasn’t that hard, Tina.” Gary said, letting go of her hair and patting her head. “Say, you’ve got quite the airbags down there, enough to fill the hands of an honest man,” he added, caressing one of her breasts. “How big are they, uh?”

“Leave her alone, Gary.” Jesse spat, his hand on his gun.

The other ignored him, leaning closer to Tina’s ear to murmur something to her. Probably something lewd seeing how she squirmed to try and put distance between them. Gary chuckled, grasping her boob with more force.

“Come on, Jess, let the kid have his fun!” One of the lookouts exclaimed.

“Show us the goods, Gary!” Another hooted.

Jesse almost missed it when Gary licked her ear before pulling away, almost. He was already fuming back then, and even if Gary had stopped here and there, he would probably have left Deadlock after that. He may be a criminal but there were things Jesse McCree couldn't live with and witnessing his “family” commit and encourage sexual harassment was one of those things.

He knew he would die if he ever pointed his gun on either one of those guys so he tried to keep it in as long as he could, repeating just one more mission in his head, a silent mantra to keep him going... Until Gary tore Tina’s dress open to show her breasts, then started to lick one of her nipples as his hand slowly went up her tights…

Without even thinking, Jesse aimed his peacekeeper at Gary’s head and immediately, three other guns aimed back at him. Everything fell silent except for Tina’s sobs.

“Put your gun down, niño. You two can settle your little different at home.”

Jesse looked at Tina then, really looked at her. Was his life worth more than some rich girl’s dignity? He mentally scoffed, when has his life been worth anything anyway?

“Well, would you look at the time,” Jesse said as he closed an eye and started to feel the heat envelop him.

“What about it?” Gary asked, perplex. He hadn’t been with them long enough to know what was about to happen but Jesse swore he saw the other three guys take a step back.

“It’s hiiiigh noon.” He smirked, pulling the trigger so fast he didn’t even hear the four detonations, only one big BANG before they all fell on the ground, each with a bullet right between their eyes. He exhaled, the heat was gone, leaving him cold like death.

Jesse fell to his knees, exhausted and breathing heavily. His right eye, the one he used to shoot, started to burn and Jesse knew he wouldn’t be able to see with it for the next few days. Despite how cold he felt, Jesse took his jacket off and stood up.

“Tina, right?” He said, looking down at the girl. She tried to put distance between them but nodded quickly. “Can you walk?” She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded again. Jesse sighed, “I ain’t goin’ to attack you,” he murmured, securing the jacket around her shoulders. “Just promise you’ll burn this thing for me, a’ight?”

He stood up a bit too fast and felt the world spinning. He could hear the guy Rodriguez took into the vault with him shouting, asking what happened. He winced. They were running out of time.

“Anyone here knows where the security lever is?”

“It’s over there, behind the health advert!” A man pointed.

Jesse raised his eyebrows at him. “Smart place. A’ight, y’all should probably run now!” He yelled, activating the system.

Thick steel panels started descending over the doors as a shrill noise resounded in the vast hall of the bank. Jesse heard the guy he left behind swearing loudly as he sprinted out of the bank and on the road with the hostages. The doors closed soon after the last person left and Jesse let out a breath of relief. He was still alive. The hostages were still alive.

He let his gaze wander into the crowd until he could spot that awful leather jacket, emblazoned with the Deadlock symbol. The man who had given him the position of the security lever had his arm around Tina and Jesse realized how similar they looked. Must have been her dad. It was good to know she wouldn’t be alone after everything she went through and he wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to visit her bank ever again.

Police sirens pull Jesse out of his thoughts and back into the present. He was still a criminal, he had killed four men down there and he had no doubt they would put him in jail. Or worse, execute him. This state wasn’t against death sentences last he checked and he really didn’t want to stick around to find out if he was right.

Adopting a slow and easy-going pace, Jesse did his best to look like he was just some innocent kid about to take a bus to go home. Except he wasn’t going home, he was running as far away from it as possible.

First, he took a bus to the city’s biggest bus station. From there, he took the first bus he could catch, not even checking whether it was going north, south, east or west. The destination didn’t matter, as long as it was far away from Santa Fe… Several buses and a quick nap later, Jesse arrived at San Francisco.

Jesse shivers, a cold breeze taking him back to the present. He’d still rather die frozen to death in the windy streets of San Francisco than wear anything emblazoned with the Deadlock symbol again. He chuckles, remembering the day Jimmy gave it to him and how much he had loved the thing. In the end, the item that gave him a home took everything he had managed to get over the years.

“What is so funny?”

Jesse jumps a bit at the voice, not expecting someone to talk to him.

“Nothin’, sir. I just realized I'd rather die here alone than stay warm with the people I used to call family.” He drawls, looking up at the man in front of him. Asian, not much older than Jesse but clearly richer. The kind of guy who has enough money to buy a new car instead of changing a tire, just because it’s cleaner and easier.

The man huffs and smiles, “I am not unfamiliar with the feeling.”

Jesse expects to see him walk away, maybe put a couple of bucks in his hat in compassion; but the man stands there, as if lost in his own thoughts.

“Soooooooooo, what brings you on,” Jesse pauses and squints at the sign at the next intersection to read the name of the avenue before facing the man again; “Peace Avenue today if you don’t mind me asking?”

“One of my… Acquaintances keeps insisting I go out more. I was hoping I could find a small restaurant and have dinner somewhere quiet.”

At the mention of food, Jesse’s stomach awakes, growling loudly and making him blush in embarrassment. He tries to laugh it off, patting his belly.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Looks like lil’ Timmy is getting impatient here.”

“Perhaps you could join me then.”

“Uh?”

“For dinner…” The man clarifies and Jesse swears he sees him blush.

He thinks about it for a moment, on one hand he could get a free meal in a warm place but on the other hand, he doesn’t know this man. Maybe this is a trap, maybe the man works for the cops or worse, for Deadlock. But then Jesse looks at him in the eyes and…

“I’d sure love to, if it’s no trouble.” Fuck.

“I would not have asked you if that was not the case.”

Jesse quickly gets back on his feet to avoid looking at those dark brown eyes any longer. How could he look so earnest and innocent at his age? If this is a trap, he’s definitely screwed.

He grabs his hat and counts the few dollars he has before putting it back on his head. “I saw a burger place on my way here, looked like some sorta cozy pub. Unless you’d prefer to pick something else yourself.”

“A burger sounds good, is it far from here?”

Jesse takes a few seconds to think, trying to remember the way. “Should be just a few blocks down this street so not too far, no.”

“Perfect, I let you lead us then.”

It only takes them around twenty minutes of awkwardly walking in silence to reach the restaurant but it’s all worth it once they get inside. There are a few customers, seated in couches along the windows and quietly enjoying their meal; a bartender behind a bar lined with high stools, playing a game on his phone and a waitress walking towards them.

“Dinner for two people?” She asks, hastily fixing her apron.

Jesse is about to point out how stupid that question is –they are clearly only two- but the man is faster.

“Yes, a table in a corner if possible.”

“Sure, follow me please.”

Once they’re seated, the waitress brings them two menu and some water before leaving again. Jesse looks at the prices first, then reads the descriptions, making sure not to pick something too expensive yet still filling. He catches the other staring at him as he puts his menu down and raises an eyebrow. He swears the man blushes again before hiding his face behind his menu.

“Uh… Is there somethin’ on my face or…?”

“No, you simply looked quite serious about choosing your meal. It is… Intriguing.”

“You never check the prices and compositions when you order?”

“Why would I check the prices?” The man seems confused, which makes Jesse laugh. Rich people really live in a different world.

“I’m pretty sure most people check the prices before they buy or order something.”

“Do they not just order what they want to eat?”

“What if they can’t afford it?” The man still looks confused so Jesse goes on. “Let’s say they earned 50 bucks that day and they don’t have money aside. They want to eat a main course at,” he opens the menu and points at an expensive burger, “25$ but then they realize they’re still hungry because this burger here isn’t filling, it just has foie gras in it. Who puts foie gras in a burger?” he asks, squinting suspiciously at the composition. “Anyway, they’re still hungry so they get a dessert, let’s say this one, at 12$. Surely after such a meal, they’re gonna feel heavy and want to order tea or coffee, that’s an extra 2$ to 3$.”

“I fail to see your point, this does not exceed 50$.”

“You’re right, they still have 11$ but then they have to pay the bus or a cab to go home, maybe buy stuff for breakfast on the way and they can’t do all that with just 11$.”

“I see…” The man closes his menu and looks out through the window before continuing. “I apologize if I sound foolish, I was not raised to see the world under this angle.”

Jesse studies his face then, trying to read his expression. He looks… Almost sad.

“One of the guys once told me that rich people live in a different world than the rest of us, with different rules and different issues but rules and issues nonetheless. Now I imagine that if no one told you the rules, it might be hard to understand the game.” Jesse smiles sheepishly, he’s never been really good at comforting but he just can’t stay quiet neither.

The man chuckles –and damn, he has a pretty smile. “That was pretty good, do you mind if I write it down?”

Jesse blinks, surprised. “Errrr, no? Go ahead.”

“Thank you. One of my classmates is from Nepal, he’s fascinated about humanity and the way we interact with things, including our pairs. I think he would quite like what you just said.” He explains, typing on his phone.

“He sounds like an interestin’ folk to be around,” Jesse offers, slightly uncomfortable.

“He is.”

“You said he’s your classmate? You’re here to study aboard?”

“What makes you so sure that I am not from here?”

Jesse absentmindedly scratches his cheek, “the accent kinda gives you away, du-sir.”

“Please, call me Hanzo. You are right though, Timmy; my father insisted I come study here for this reason.”

“Uuuuh… My name’s not Timmy.”

Hanzo frowns. “But earlier, you said…”

“Oh, oh no no no no!! I just,” Jesse blushes violently and looks away, he’s so embarrassed he wishes he could just disappear. “I just call my belly that, ‘t is not my real name.”

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress asks, making them both jump with her sudden apparition. Jesse’s so happy for the change of subject, he thinks he could kiss her.

“Yes, I’ll take the double buffalo chedar burger please!” He blurts out, pointing at the burger on the menu in front of him.

“I will take the same.” Hanzo says, calmly handing out his own menu.

“How do you want the steaks? Rare or medium rare?”

“Rare,” They say in perfect sync before looking at each other in surprise while the waitress nods and trots back to the kitchen. An awkward silence settles between them before Hanzo decides to break it.

“So… If Timmy is the name of your stomach, may I ask what the rest of your person is called?” There is a sly grin on Hanzo’s face, a bit hesitant at first but more determined when Jesse returns the smile.

“Well, people call me of sort of names,” he says, leaning on the table. Hanzo chuckles but plays along, leaning closer as well. “Deadeye, cabrón, handsome,” he winks; “but my friends call me Jesse.”

“Only your friends? Should I call you Deadeye then?” Hanzo teases, leaning back a bit.

“Only my friends and foolish rich strangers paying me a burger.” Jesse can’t help but grin, he’s starting to like Hanzo a lot more than he thought he would.

The waitress comes back with their orders then and Jesse has to use all of his self-control to eat slowly and not inhale his burger in one go. He takes small bites, savoring the mix of meat and cheddar when he notices Hanzo suspiciously eying his own meal. Amused, he pauses to watch as his companion takes extra care to cut his burger in equal parts with fluid, graceful motions.

“Why are you laughing?” Hanzo asks when he notices Jesse is struggling to contain his laughter.

“I’ve never seen anyone bein’ so serious about cutting his burger right!” He exclaims, laughing a bit harder now that Hanzo is looking at him with his big, surprised eyes.

“Oh, I see.” He answers soflty, looking at Jesse’s messy plate full of sauce and bits of garniture everywhere. He chuckles, “It is like you said earlier; we have different rules.”

“And yet, you still invited me to share a meal.”

“I am not sure why I asked you to join me but I do not regret it.” Hanzo says, looking at Jesse in the eyes, “You are good company.”

“Well thank you kindly, Hanzo. You are not bad yourself,” Jesse grins. “And this modest burger is absolutely divine!” He adds, putting a slightly bigger piece in his mouth for emphasis, making Hanzo laugh.

They finish eating in companionable silence, simply enjoying their meal as well as each other’s presence. It’s almost troubling how easy it is to chat with Hanzo although Jesse still fears someone might recognize him. But for now, he’s happy to forget about the cops, about Deadlock and about the cold night in the street that awaits him.

“Have you been living in San Francisco for a long time?” Hanzo asks after the waitress came to gather their plates and told them to go pay at the bar. “You seem to know the city well.”

“Nah, I arrived this mornin’. I’ve only been to Pier 39 so far.”

Hanzo frowns and pushes a strand of hair away from his face. “Did you try to take a boat there?”

“No, I went to see the sea lions!” Jesse laughs, standing up and putting his hat back on his head. “They’re mighty cute.”

“Ah yes, I have heard some of my classmates talk about it but never found the time to go there myself.”

“You should definitely go! I saw they even have an aquarium nearby with otters in it!! Otters! Can you believe it?” Jesse says excitedly, he’s always loved animals.

Hanzo chuckles and hands his credit card over to pay. “Perhaps you could show me then. It sounds rather exciting.”

“Sure! I quite like the spot I found on Peace Avenue, you can come see me here whenever you want. The pier’s not too far from here.” Jesse smiles, holding the door for his companion.

As soon as they’re outside however, the cold hits him hard and Jesse starts shivering, his teeth clacking violently. Damn, he doesn’t even know where he’s going to spend the night. He didn’t see any subway signs and doubts there is any with all these hills. He briefly contemplates breaking into a car to get some sleep but quickly dismisses the idea. It would be too risky to break the law so soon after the bank robbery.

Hanzo coughs, interrupting his train of thoughts and making him look up. His companion has shrugged off his long expensive coat and is holding out to him. Jesse hesitantly takes it and feels the soft fabric between his fingers.

“Why are you giving me your coat? Ain’t you gonna need it?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“I will be fine, I have enough coats to dress a small army.” Hanzo shrugs, “In addition, the color suits you better.”

Jesse looks down at the brown fabric, and back up at Hanzo. He didn’t pay much mind earlier but he has to agree with the man: this shade of brown just doesn’t work with the other’s long dark hair and chocolate eyes. Slowly, carefully, he puts it on and closes the buttons. It’s a bit too big for him, just like everything he ever tries on. He really needs to start exercising if he wants to stop looking like a twig. However, the coat is warmer than it looks and Jesse sighs as the warmth engulfs him.

“Thank you, Hanzo.”

“It is nothing, I am looking forward to visit the pier with you.” He says as he gets into a cab he had called after paying for their meal. “Have a good night.”

Jesse watches as his companion closes the door and the cab starts moving again, soon disappearing at a corner.

[talldrink-o-h2o]

Lifestyle: Buying a New Car

I grew up in Michigan, which you can read about extensively in this post. Everyone in Michigan either was employed by the auto industry (working for the Big 3 – GM, Chrysler, or Ford, as the case was in the ‘90s) or had family who worked in the auto industry. To this day, I know I’m in Michigan because of the lack of foreign cars on the road. I remember people would make racial slurs to my mom for the three years she owned a Toyota Camry, because it was more acceptable to say a racist comment than to drive a foreign car.

As a side note, I went to school in East Lansing from 2004 to 2008. This was when it was becoming mainstream to pay an obscene amount for drip coffee, a trend which continues to this day. East Lansing was home to a startup coffee chain called Beaners. I shit you not. Beaners experienced massive growth in Michigan and started to look to national expansion. They tried to enter into the Texas market. Allegedly the Texas powers-that-be said you can’t have a coffee shop that is named Beaners in Texas. Turns out that this is a racial slur for the migrant workers. Calling a shop this would alienate a good portion of the population. The company has since changed its name to Biggby (pronounced “Big B”) and claim the change had nothing to do with how offensive the name was. Which shows why people in Michigan thought it was okay to tell my mom she drove a rice racer because her car was Japanese.

But I digress. My aunt and grandfather both had worked for GM and my mother’s childhood best friend’s husband was a co-owner of a car dealership (did you follow that?). A person who retires from GM is granted a discount for him/her and their family for life. Because of this, it was insane for our family not to drive GM cars.*

When I turned sixteen, Katrina had conveniently totaled the little Mazda MX3 my dad had bought for her from a woman he worked with. The woman had kept it in mint condition, barely putting miles on it, and my dad got it for a song. One missed stop sign and the car was kaput. Because Katrina was a senior in high school and would be going to Michigan State the next year where she wouldn’t be allowed to have a car, my parents thought it’d be prudent to get us a car we could share for a year and then I could have it to myself my senior year. That’s how we got a year-old silver Pontiac Grand Am. And aside from feigning heartburn at the injustice of it all,** that car would take us all the way through college and follow me to my first year in Minnesota.

The first spring I lived in Minnesota, I had agreed to give my car to my sister, who had finished her MBA and was moving out to Virginia for her first job. This meant I needed a new car. Up until this point, the most I had ever spent on any single purchase was a $200 purse. I came out of undergrad with $20,000 of student loan debt and dumbly chose to live in a brand new apartment in the coolest neighborhood that literally cost more than one of my paychecks. I had no money to put down on a car and the idea of buying anything, let alone taking on yet another loan, made me sick to my stomach. I stayed up many nights talked to Steve about it, whom I had just started dating, and whom has always been much more frugal than me. For instance, he lived with his dad for a few years after undergrad so stockpiled an amount of cash. His favorite activity on the weekend is to determine just how much we’ll be able to save in the coming year and at what age we can retire. He offered to co-sign the loan for me, something I’d obviously need, being “cash poor” as the lady at the bank would later describe me to my dad. On principle, I couldn’t have a man I just started dating as my co-signer (I couldn’t think to the next week, why would I be beholden to this dude for five years?) so I had my dad sign.

The car I chose? A year-old silver Pontiac G6 with 22,000 miles on it. This is the car that replaced the Grand Am, because even though I no longer lived in Michigan, why would I ever buy anything other than American? Also the idea of doing research and going from dealership to dealership seemed daunting and not the same pastime activity in Minnesota as it was in Michigan. Don’t worry, this wasn’t an exact replica of the car I had just driven to my sister. This car was a very practical two-door, my statement to the world that I wasn’t planning to get married or have kids cause they couldn’t fit anyway. I chose it because I thought the trunk was cute. “I like its butt,” I told the salesman.

Fast forward to November 2018. I still have the G6. In the 9.5 years I’ve had the car, I’ve put a whopping 45,000 miles on it, meaning I never drive the thing. The furthest distances she traveled were two trips to Michigan, three trips to Milwaukee, and one time to Chicago. Only recently did I start driving her with any regularity, which is because I finally got access to Target’s restricted parking lot (you can reminisce about my first month parking there here). On an average day, my driving is 3-5 miles round trip. It’s less than two miles total to get to and from work, and if I throw in a class at OrangeTheory, I top out at five miles total.

Do you remember what it’s like to drive around in a 2009 model? There’s no back-up camera. There’s no keyless engine start. There’s no input for a phone to connect and certainly no Bluetooth. The dashboard is digital but not a touchscreen. It’s basically the Stone Age.

But back to money. A lot of people will say that they don’t buy cars because they don’t invest in depreciating assets. Which like, fuck off. If you’re leasing your BMW 5Series every three years that means you’re paying $500+ per month every month with no end. You’re pissing away money that could be used on literally anything else.

I always said I’d keep my car until it was ten years old or hit 100,000 miles, whichever came first, which, based on my habits, is clearly going to be the former versus the latter. Also, though, I really don’t like having a car payment so my intention was to drag this baby out as long as I could and start doing some initial research this spring.

But, like any long-term relationship, my car required some TLC recently. I was driving her when the “Service Tire Monitor” light came on. At the time, it was winter in Minnesota and air pressure in tires is a real thing, so being able monitor the pressure is something, but this seemed more like a nice-to-have, versus a need-to-have. So I put it off. I should also note that the only other time this light came on, I was driving down the road (not the highway, thank God) and the car just completely shut down in the middle of traffic. It was able to turn back on but it did it again a second time. As I learned while running, the symptom is not usually the cause and the car’s computer had to be reset – nothing to do with the tire monitor at all. One might think that story would have led me to quicker action this time around, but it did not.

On a November weekend, I went to a suburb for new running shoes (as discussed here). I was forced to take the scenic route home, because the road to the highway was blocked by some random festival. I had to go through a neighboring suburb where I could catch the highway. As I got close to the highway, literally every light on my dashboard – Check ABS, Check Airbag, Traction Control Off – started flashing.

I was nervous, but not overly concerned, and called Steve, who was watching Purdue football. “All the lights on my dashboard are on and flashing,” I started in.

“Uh huh,” he said, distracted, over the sounds of football in the background.

“Well, I just wanted you to know that if I die, this is why.”

“Okay – I’m going to go back to watching the game,” he hung up, unconcerned.

I figured that since things were going nuts and I clearly needed to reset my car’s computer, I might as well call Firestone. I explained what was going on with my car and asked if they’d have any availability today.

“No. Actually the earliest we can get you in is Monday,” the Firestone man informed me.

“Can I just drop it off today? She’s no good to me – actually,” I cut myself off. “My car is shutting down now. I need to call someone who can help me. Bye.”

My car completely died in a busy intersection. I tried to turn my car to the side street but only managed to be at a sight angle causing a backup in traffic. I tried turning the car on and off many times over, but nothing was happening. Now, I was panicked. I put my hazards on and started sweating. I called Steve, unclear what to do in this situation.

“Now don’t get mad, but, did you try turning it off and on?” Helpful.

“Yes. Duh. Many times. It won’t go back on. I have my hazards on but people keep honking. What do I do?” I was starting to freak, picturing that my death would not be because my car blew up on me, but rather because the cars behind me would not notice and crash into me.

“Uh…well…umm…” I could hear his brain working but also thought that maybe something was happening in the game.

“I’m going to call someone who can help me. Bye,” and I very aggressively hung up the phone on my husband.

I was able to get a tow truck and three really kind men who were walking by pushed my car out of the intersection and into a parking spot. One even started yelling at the people who were honking as he helped. Like the completely sane, rational, strong, independent woman I am, after the men saw I was safe and went back about their day, I started crying.

To move the story along, my tow truck friend Kyle delivered my G6 to the Firestone I had called previously. I called to alert them and miraculously they now had time to fix my car that day. Steve came and got me – I apparently told him the wrong intersection so not only did he have to leave the game, he was sent to the wrong place, so he scolded me for that upon arrival. I apologized but also reminded him that I was a little distracted.

All in, my car needed a new alternator, battery, spark plugs, and fuel flush. It cost me $1000. Everyone told me that was high and Steve had been able to get them to drop off a whopping $50, but as I asked everyone who offered their armchair quarterback advice, what leverage did I have?

The following Tuesday morning, I was driving my car to OrangeTheory when the Service Tire Monitor light came on, again. This time, I was no fool. I called the Firestone guys on my way back home post-class and they told me to bring it in. The man on the phone let me know that checking tire pressure is complimentary.

Great, sir, but when the air pressure needs to be checked, a light comes on that says, “Check Air Pressure,” not “Service Tire Monitor.” I had to explain this twice, but they ignored me and sent me out to the garage to have a mechanic check the air pressure, because what do I know? I’m just the girl who cries when people are kind to strangers and who overpays for auto repair.

Turns out my air pressure was just fine, but, wouldn’t you know it? One of the tire monitors was out. Don’t worry, that was another $250.

All in all, I decided that I at least needed to get my money’s worth and drive my car through the spring, which will be its ten-year anniversary. Then I will begin the hunt for a new car.

On my list? Unfortunately, Pontiac has since been discontinued by General Motors. An Audi Q5, Jaguar E-Pace, and Infiniti QX50. For the first time, I’m going foreign. And I will be looking to lease, not only because that car payment is so much cheaper, but also because, when the Service Tire Monitor light comes on, someone else will pay the $1250.

 *This obviously didn’t stop my mom from not only owning the aforementioned Camry, but also a Ford van (not a mini-van because apparently owning a mini-van is worse than owning one of those huge vans with the sliding doors that pedophiles drive around in).

**Really my brothers should be the ones complaining. Keith, the eldest, had to buy the Beretta he drove with money he collected from the paper route. He would later inherit my mom’s Ford van, which turns out is the exact wrong thing to give a high schooler unless you want to promote kids getting drunk in the spacious back area. My other brother, Kent, drove a Dodge Diplomat which was more or less a land yacht. It had this big, cushy leather seats that could fit two people each and, unfortunately, the heater only worked sporadically – a problem in Michigan winters – and when it did work, it’d make a really loud noise. He’d proceed to hit the dashboard hard with his fist until the sound stopped. I think a barely used Grand Am to share with my sister was luxury.

[redformed-blog]

❛ no airbag, we die like men. ❜

various sentence starters | accepting | @pinkmotored

        He knew she was joking. Right? Otherwise Jason had a real reason to be worried. Not for him of course, he was pretty sure he could survive a car ramming into him at full speed, but for the girl beside him DRIVING. 

        He looked over to make sure she was wearing a seatbelt but of COURSE she wasn’t. He himself was a crazy driver so he wasn’t too irritated, but he couldn’t help but feel a certain responsibility for her safety. After all, he DID ask her to give him a ride home from school since his truck was in the shop and he saw her drive to school on the same route he took.

        As the two practically swerved around a curve Jason swore under his breath. Was she TRYING to kill herself? He managed to let out a small laugh at her comment, raising his eyebrows.

        “Do you always drive home this crazy?” Jason drove like this before, but it was when he was driving away from COPS, not home from school. “Or is it just for me?”

[btsburgh]

Chapter 3

As the four of them crushed themselves into lil deb, they all pulled their doors shut, everyone yelling and hootin' and hollerin' because there was such a rush. Jordan took no time in throwing her little blue hyundai into reverse and careening down the driveway, almost taking out four cats and three cars parked too far out on the curb for comfort.

"Shit we need some jams." Jordan said, fumbling with her phone as the car slowly began to read the information through her lightning cord connecting it to the console.

However, when she looked up, the line to get onto the interstate was at a dead stop and she had to slam on the brakes, sending her phone flying into god-knows-what-nook-or-cranny of her car.

Fortunately, she managed to press play before it did.

Unfortunately, the first thing that came on was Stayin' Alive by the BeeGees.

"I love this song." Jordan said, "Fine by me."

"Me too." Namjoon agreed.

From somewhere in the universe, they felt the waves of Kate's disapproval in their bones.

"That's the least of our problems." Tawni said, looking out the window, "It looks like there's a hold up."

"What's the problem?" Jordan asked, stretching her neck to try and see what's in the distance.

They assumed it was probably a spot of construction. However, as perusual in Pittsburgh, it wasn't just construction, but also an accident. A three car pile up where ten to twenty people were screaming jagoff at one another repeatedly until they passed out from lack of oxygen. Further down the road was more construction. So much in fact that multiple construction zones had come together to form a Mega-Construction Zone™ which was blocking the path. And to make matters worse, two construction vehicles inside the Mega-Construction Zone™ had crashed, causing further backups.

"There's no way we're going to make it." Jungkook sighed, pinching his nose, "Jimin will never let me live this down."

"There's a flight leaving a little bit later. If we switch the booking now we can still make it to the concert, we just might miss soundcheck." Namjoon offered.

"No." Jordan said coldly.

Everybody looked to her as Jordan's long pale arm extended out, reaching towards the sunglasses sitting in the cupholders between her and Namjoon. All eyes were on her as she picked up the round grandma sunglasses and brought them to her face, unfolding them and pushing them over her eyes.

"Lil Deb." Jordan said softly, "Roll out."

She threw Lil Deb into low gear and peeled out from behind the line of cars. She ran down the ramp, just an inch away from the guard rail, and passing tons of people.

"We can't get up there, it's a dead stop." Namjoon exclaimed.

Jordan smirked, "Where we're going ... there are no dead stops."

Suddenly, she turned, crashing through the guard rail and leaping off onto the shoulder just beyond it.

Everybody in car was shook, but they didn't start actually screaming until Jordan pulled off to the side and into the woods. Lil Deb rolled effortlessly over the grass, rolling over the valleys without so much as a hesitation.

"Jordan! Tree!" Namjoon yelled, pointing.

Jordan shifted gears, no expression changing on her face as she yanked the steering wheel and swerved past it. They dodged in between trees, Jordan's laser focus only egged on by the screaming that was coming from the two people in the back of the car. It was sweet music to her ears.

Just then Stayin Alive began for the second time.

"Fuck!" Namjoon yelled, "You must have set it to repeat."

Jordan's face remained emotionless, "Perfect."

Just then a clearing showed up ahead, but it was obviously the edge of a cliff with only a couple of fallen trees around it, making everyone briefly wonder if Jordan had done this before. The minute Tawni and Jungkook realized what was about to happen they grabbed onto each other, their screams becoming even louder.

Jordan turned onto one of the fallen trees and used it as a ramp to shoot Lil Deb off the edge of the cliff. The screaming in the car got at least three decibals louder as it became airborne.

Lil Deb took flight, arching into the open air as Stayin' Alive played from the speakers, only muffled by the screams of terror from everybody in the car except for Jordan.

"We're doing to die and I don't even have McCree's golden gun!" Jungkook cried out.

"We're going to die and I never apologized for breaking Hobi's door!" Namjoon yelled.

"We're going to die and I haven't slept today!" Tawni sobbed.

Jordan didn't say anything but reached over and cranked the third run through of Stayin' Alive up three more cranks.

As they finally were pointed down, heading back towards earth, Jordan yanked at the wheel, turning them to the side as the somehow effortlessly touched down in a clearing of dirt. Jordan didn't think twice about it as she continued through the oddly industrial area.

Once everyone else in the car opened their eyes up, they saw that they were safe.

"We're safe." Namjoon stated in an obvious fashion, "I don't know how but we're safe."

"Thank God." Jungkook breathed out.

Tawni and Jungkook then realized they had been clutching each other very tightly and awkwardly released one another, shuffling to their respective sides of the back seats and putting on the seatbelts that I guess they took off idk I'm not very good at remembering what everybody has and hasn't done okay I'm sorry.

"Hold on, guys." Tawni rolled down the window, looking out at the dust clouds that were rising in the distance, "We have a big problem."

"What?" Jordan asked.

"I think we're in the ... Mega-Construction Zone™" She said.

Everyone gasped.

Just then a group of construction vehicles pulled up beside them blaring a loud speaker from atop them, "You are in the Mega-Construction Zone™ with an unauthorized vehicle. Pull over now."

"I can't get anymore points on my license." Jordan stated before slamming the gas.

"Not again." Jungkook was quickly cut off by the inertia thrusting him back into the seat.

There was one of those giant like hollowed out cylinders up ahead. Idk what they're called I guess like ... idek but you know what they are you see them in construction zones all teh time btu idk what they're made for and they're like white or gray and look like rock that's been shaped. I dunno but anyways there's one up ahead.

Jordan drove directly into it, followed by a couple of the smaller construction vehicles.

"They just won't quit." Jordan huffed, "But you know where they can't get us?"

"When we're dead?" Namjoon whined.

"Close." Jordan spun the wheel suddenly, "On the ceiling."

As she turned, Lil Deb began to climb the walls of the cylinder, still speeding ahead as Jordan lowered her foot even further onto the gas. Until all of a sudden, everybody felt themselves lifting off the streets, because they were in fact ... on the ceiling.

"God if you're up there ..." Tawni yelled.

Then all of sudden they were out of the cylinder, careening through the air once more, but upside down. Everybody was floating, just barely held in place by their seatbelts. Somehow, they managed to clear the airspace of The Mega-Construction Zone™ and zoomed over the fence and ... directly into a building.

The airbags deployed, but somehow everyone was alive because let's be real who am I gonna kill? Namjoon? Don't @ me okay

The car landed on the hood, Jungkook's head only a couple of inches from where they ceiling had been dented in from the landing and saving his skull from being crushed. Everyone else seemed to be fine albeit breathing very heavily and just thankful enough to be alive.

Somehow, Stayin' Alive was still playing in the broken and shattered glassy remains of Jordan's car.

They were all too shocked to speak when somebody bent over and looked into their car.

"Okay but you're in the lines of the parking spot." Bria said.

Jordan sighed, "Bria! What are you doing at the Robinson Sheetz?"

"I hang out here usually." Bria shrugged, "Do you guys need some help? Who are the nice looking Korean men?"

Jordan shrugged towards the ground because she was still hanging upside down, "It's a long story, but basically we're fucked because we need to get to the airport in like fifteen minutes so these guys can make a plane."

"Oh, that's easy." Bria shrugged up to the sky because she was right side up just squatting on the ground, "I know a guy."