#just putting this here because the scene before the miasma when she and taylor were talking always makes me so sad

[mothofmay]

Sundancer is such a heartbreaking character. She's a genuinely nice person working to improve her life and escape her controlling mother and then she's plunged into hell with her friends and is forced to watch as her best friend is changed into a crude mockery of her former self. And then she's finally got a way out, the terrifying bug girl and her team secured her a way home, and her realization when given the opportunity to go home fucking wrecks me honestly.

She's just so fundamentally changed by her time on Bet, and she knows this. She'll never be the Marissa she was again because now she has blood on her hands, and before she goes home she needs to kill one last person. So she burns her best friend, her lifeline, maybe even her crush, even as Echidna begs and screams and promises wrath upon the world and calls her by the nickname Noelle always did. She takes a life on purpose this time, because even leaving Earth Bet demands she falls a bit more and compromises her morals one final time.

This is the part of the scene that really fucks with me though. She's fucking tearing into her costume, removing every part of the cape persona she hates so much and throwing it to the ground to melt, because she so desperately wants to detach herself from Earth Bet and cape society and her powers that aren't good for anything except destruction and hurting others. But it's not enough. She can remove every single part of her costume, try to pretend her time on Bet never happened, never use her power again, but she'll never actually be able to escape. This passage brings attention to the subtler part of her power, the self-protection that makes everything in about a 6 foot radius around herself a normal temperature (probably room temperature). The pavement cools and hardens in her wake, because even if she's not using her power she's stuck with it and it'll always have that normal temperature field active. Every single time she tries to take a bath and the water cools to be lukewarm instantly, or she goes out in the winter time and someone asks why it's warm around her, or her ice cream melts, or her meal is the same temperature as everything she'll eat for the rest of her life, she'll be reminded of her powers and what she did. The cold will never bite at her skin, she'll never feel the warmth of someone else's touch, she'll just find so many little things in her life from then on refusing to let her pretend she's normal and fine and that she didn't kill her best friend and that she's over Earth Bet. Her powers will never go away, and they'll never let her forget that even if she vows to never use her sun. I love Mars, she's forced to do horrible things for reasons entirely out of her control, and she'll never escape that. Whether she wants to be or not, she's a cape now and forever.