#just living the niqabi life

[eastern-obesity]

What's it like living in a country with 38% female obesity? I've always been fascinated that America at 41% seems fatter, but it's also much larger than most countries... It must be amazing living in a smaller country with such prevalence of women being fat, overfed and waddling. How often do you see a very obese niqabi, for example, on the street when going for groceries?

Well, firstly, one has to understand how exceptionally lazy Saudis are as a society. It is extremely common to have a live in maid, if you don't, you very well rent one's services for a time occasionally instead. Every app that comes out to make life more 'convenient' catches on like wildfire, including food delivery and doing your laundry. Before widening out was understood as part of marriage and motherhood, now the consequences of modern life has young women spoiled before they even go off to University and living off of fast food once they get there, there is less expectation, and less pressure to have a middle that isn't a soft belly.

With that considered, I'm surprised we aren't fatter. But to answer your question, at the market? Perhaps not as commonly as you envision, but restaurants low quality and high? Shopping malls and cafes where one goes to enjoy themselves? Theme parks and festivals? What can I say, Saudi women take up a lot of space, spacing out to combat crowding is important just to avoid being squished against all too common shelf like behinds. And having so much flab rubbing together has returned us to being sweaty messes despite our abundant life line of air conditioners.

[writerfarzanatutul]

Interview of a real Niqabi ( Is Niqab an oppression?)

From the bustling streets of Bangladesh emerges Afraha, a woman whose life weaves together resilience, self-discovery, and unwavering faith. Her story is one of unexpected turns and profound realizations, taking us on a journey beneath the veil to uncover the depths of her transformation.Afraha, like any ordinary girl, with once-harbored dreams of becoming an influencer, initially held no particular connection to the enigmatic world of niqabs or abayas. However, a twist of fate led her to an unexpected decision – to embrace the very symbol that is often misconstrued as oppression. 

Interviewer: Assalamu alaikum, Afraha. To begin, could you kindly introduce yourself to our readers?

Afraha:

Wa alaikum assalam! Certainly! I'm a young woman who just turned 21. Currently, I'm pursuing my studies at North South University in the Department of Microbiology and Biochemistry. Interestingly, during my college days at Milestone College, I never envisioned myself wearing a hijab, let alone an abaya and niqab! But as they say, look at me now, alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!

Interviewer: What inspired you to wear the niqab?

- Afraha: 

Of course, the reward in Akhirah was a significant motivator. Seeing other women around me wearing niqab made me think, If they can do it, so can I.

Note:

Assalamu alaykum [Peace be with you],

I'm reaching out to connect with Muslimah who have recently chosen to embrace Niqab or have embarked on a personal journey to strengthen their faith.

I'm working on a project to share inspiring stories of women who have transformed their lives for the sake of Allah (SWT) [Subhanahu wa ta'ala - Exalted is He]. These stories can serve as a source of encouragement and inspiration for others on their own faith journeys.

If you've recently adopted Niqab or have a story about strengthening your faith, I'd be honored to interview you. Our conversation could be featured in [mention the platform where you'll share the stories, e.g., a website, podcast, etc.].

Together, by sharing these experiences, we can uplift and inspire the Ummah [Muslim community], InshaAllah [God willing].

Please feel free to send me a private message if you're interested in participating.

JazakAllahu Khairan [May Allah reward you with goodness],

Farzana Tutul )

[nthflower]

When I was a kid I used to insert myself in literally every media I watch read consume. Like I created an oc in my mind and make them fit somewhere in there without breaking original story. Or myself like wish I was a superhero type. Normal things we all did I think.

But also as a kid I was extremely religious. Like the moment I knew myself I was religious and I was so sincere about it.

I believed in Allah and loved Allah with my whole heart and memorise every prophets story in Qur'an, and also memorize Suras as summertime hobbies and God I loved fasting and Being hijabi when I was a little more older was my own voluntary choice and I loved it so much too. It was never hard for me or it was never for my parents or society I genuinely believed voluntarily and I loved it.

And now when I was inserting myself to this stories there was like one rare thing that make me sad about me being religious. And it was that I don't fit in. I want to so much think myself as a mutant for example but cmon how I could fit in there. Like I need to pray but superheroing have no time praying or tight clothes are haram or how the other characters see me weird and hate me probably etc.

Theennnn I am seeing Faiza Hussain I think. She was the first Muslim character I saw I'm comics and I was like so so happy obsessed. I read her but I don't remember them now but I loved her. Like she was kinda modern type of Muslim but I thought she was still yeah good.

Theeeeen I saw Dust a niqabi girl (I was not niqabi but so many people in my family were so it's something familiar and close to me). And she was praying. And she was readin Qur'an. And she was giving attention to Islamic rules. And she was doing fine mostly. Surge was yeah bad at first but I also loved it too because it was realistic. Or Rockslide helping her to hide herself when she have her hair open etc. Like it was good things it was bad thing but close to real.

And I loved it I literally protected myself into her. If she can then I can too without giving what I believe can still live the life I want be part of things I want.

Anyways I don't know why I did write this actually I think it was about Muslim characters and me and also me wanting characters that written realistically instead of idilistic wonderful lives with full of acceptance. Like yeah write a trans hijabi girl I was one for a while but it's more complex you can't just make them like your average character but just wear hijab it's more more complex then that. It doesn't feel like something to care about as representation. But you know this is probably extremely personal preference.

And last thing I am not Muslim anymore like for years ago I left it. I don't believe even supernatural now. But still I am very culturally Muslim even when I am not realising it. And people I love is Muslim. I have trauma but I don't have problems with positive sides of religion or people finding happiness on it.

So yeah it makes me happy good Muslim representation and also because of this I want ex-muslim religious trauma suffering characters without being Islamaphobic. But also without being extremely woobified. Like not a perfect wonderful minority. Because Muslims not even minority in most of places and so so so flawed people but also not Devils with objectively bad religion. Your average Muslim is literally same as your average Christian. In fact same as your average Buddhist or Jewish too. I knew it because I met this people and we are literally same when it's not about our religions. Yeah flawed human characters.

I usually have no problems here oversharing and putting cringe nonsense etc. but this feels embarrassing I think because it is too personal?? I just wanted to write something about Muslim characters in comics. Anyways I want diverse and realistic many dimensional religious people not only Muslims but other religions too.

[magnoliamyrrh]

yes my opinion on this only holds so much weight because no, i have not lived under a purdah system, neither under sharia. theres been plenty of good books written on it though. some women are completely against it, some women like it, some want to reform it etc; and throughout history and different islamic (and hindu and probably other) societies its been implemented differently

but ive always held that the segregation itself isnt the issue. on one hand we can say taken to an exteme yes it is part of patriatchy and it is opressive (extreme examples such as what the taliban is doing, not allowing women to engage in public life at all and public life becoming the domain of men) and a way to control female sexuality for the sake of the patrilinial line. on the other hand. i dont necessary think at all it has to be inherently opressive or sexist. in fact there are matriarchal, indigenous societies which are sex segregated - mostly on the basis of the matrilinial line living together; these are societies in which the women chose segregation, while they are in power

the purdah allows women a space of all women, in which they can be without the bother of their opressors and any man who is sexually attracted to them - which i do believe is necessary for the healing of the female psyche. it allows, in some enstatements, for the women of the community to have spaces together, where they can be safe from the immediate threath (and annoyance) of men - while they work, they cook, they clean, they sowe, they chat and hang out and relax. for niqabis and hijabis, it allows a space where one does not have to be covered, or concerned about rules in regards to the other sex. the lack of more women-only spaces in the west actually makes being a hijabi, but particularly a niqabi, harder. the hijab and niqab are themselves part of the purdah as well; and personally, yes, ive always enjoyed the ability to be in public without having the shape of my body, or my beauty and attractivess, being seen (even tho men sexualize everything no matter what you do); and i have always appreciated that usually when you veil, men understand to keep their hands to themselves and some distance

and most of us know, how the energy chages in a room, when youre all women and suddenly a man walks in. it shifts, there is a tensness however subtle which enters, and suddenly, the conversation is never as open and raw and honest as it was before the dude walked in

lets take masjids for example - i actually dont like that some of the more progressive masjids have done away with the segregation. ive actually always enjoyed that when i go i can be with all sisters, and i have exactly 0 desire for men to be behind my ass when i am praying and bowing down and etc. exactly z e r o i am not at all comfortable with that. ive enjoyed that for eid i have mostly sat and mingled with sisters

my issue then, is moreso the masjids which do not have space for women at all, or in which women are always behind the men - which is unnecessary, because we could just be side by side. my issue then, is its implementation

if society is to be partially segregated, than it needs to be so in a way which is egalitarian. and as i said earlier, i wish it was. i wish there were more womens girls and schools, gardens, stores, events, restaurants, jobs whatever. but. i do think purdah systems can be kept and refotmed and actually be to the benefit of women -- and i have not particularly found integrated modern society to be any more ~progressive and better for women bc, again, in actuality what it means is that there is v little space to just. be without men and not have to deal with any of it, from the minor sexism to the psychological toll of sexual harassment and harder sexism

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

Choosing Sides: Life as an LGBT Muslim in America

Written By: Salamatullah Eldritch

In 2017, in the Twin Cities, the Twin Cities Pride Parade fell on the same day as Eid al-Fitr. Eid al-Fitr is the celebration and feast at the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting in Islam. It was something at first, I loved because two massive parts of my identity were being celebrated on the same day. My fellow LGBT hijabi and niqabi friends were elated as well that Eid fell during pride month.

The joy lasted for me until I realized I actually had to choose. I had to choose whether to attend the Pride event, or whether to celebrate Eid. I had to choose whether I wanted to surround myself with the Muslim community, or the LGBT community. 

When faced with two coinciding events, many people might choose to go to both, spend part of the time at one, then the rest as the other. Such a thought didn’t even cross my mind, Eid al-Fitr and Twin Cities Pride felt like polar opposites in my head. It wasn’t as though I could show up to a mosque in body glitter and decked out in rainbow flags, that’s the part that is easiest for people to understand. What they don’t understand as well is that I felt I similarly couldn’t show up to pride in a full niqab.

I felt I couldn’t show my pride if I was observing hijab, and I felt I couldn’t observe hijab if I was showing pride.

Eid 2017 became the perfect embodiment of how I felt being an LGBT Muslim American. Attending pride and being surrounded by white gay culture and not Muslims,  I didn’t feel safe being Muslim. But at the same time, I didn’t feel like I could come out as LGBT to the Muslim community without alienating the only place I could feel safe as a Muslim. If I wanted to feel safe I would have to cut away parts of my identity and break myself down into bite-sized pieces so I didn’t choke others. The price of safety was I would have to water down who I was so I was suited for everyone’s palate. 

It's not as if just being a Muslim makes things easier. Sometimes, though, I wonder what people judge more: being LGBT or being Muslim. When I was younger, I would have said people thought being LGBT was worse. Nowadays, I think without question the answer is my faith.

After two decades of enduring questions about my race, about where I’m really from, if I was born in America, I have come to accept that that’s the price of living here, that people would never see me as “American”. Even before I started wearing a niqab—or even just a headscarf—I was made painfully aware that I did not fit in. That even if I was born here, I wasn't welcome in this country. The United States doesn’t have an official religion, but I’m constantly reminded that Islam is not an accepted religion.

I’m reminded when people stare and make faces at me in public, I’m reminded when I miss another prayer because there’s never a safe place to pray in public, I’m reminded when I go shopping and see how many frozen meals have some sort of pork in them, and when I have to weigh whether it would be better to buy non-halal meat or go vegetarian. I’m reminded when there’s never a mosque nearby—though I haven’t felt safe attending one after a pipe bomb was thrown into a mosque back in the Twin Cities. I’m reminded when I get sent graphic threats online and get called slurs. I’m reminded when people call the police purely because I look “suspicious” and “threatening”. I’m reminded when I don’t feel safe walking alone, and when I brace for confrontation every time I see someone approach me. 

Being LGBT in America has grown to be more accepted, but that’s not to say there aren’t still struggles. Gay marriage was only made legal nationwide in only 2015. Trans people continue to face violence and discriminatory legislation. People still get harassed and face oppression, but in my lifetime I’ve seen a big difference in how LGBT Americans are treated. But I’ve also seen how most of the LGBT Americans that have gotten better reception are the white ones. I’ve seen the heteronormative ideal that slowly has been remade and repacked into a homonormative ideal. 

Gays of color, Muslim gays, Trans people of color, we grow up being told our existence is too much. Too political. Too controversial. Our stories aren't told, our existence is carefully forgotten because we’re too complicated, because we don’t serve the White American narrative, because LGBT and Muslim are seen as opposite ends of a binary. Gender and sexuality can be a spectrum, but not LGBT and Muslim. 

And if I'm forced to see it as a binary, which side should I pick? Many have advised me to unveil and pick the LGBT community, to liberate myself, but there's always that caveat--that I should leave my faith behind. I wonder how many believe forcing me to unveil is freeing me from oppression, how many see themselves as a savior to a poor repressed LGBT Muslim.

The LGBT community might accept me for being LGBT, but whether they accept me for being Muslim and not fitting into a Neat, White, Gay label, is never assured. Because White Gays can have the same hateful, nationalist views as straight white people. Because the idea that brown communities and Muslim communities are homophobic justifies the racism and islamophobia. The safe spaces for LGBT people hardly ever feel safe for me, because to many white LGBT people, I make it unsafe, I am not welcome because I make them uncomfortable. My white LGBT peers will make a joke about being gay or trans and people laugh, if I echo the same sentiment they are silent or tell me how insensitive I am when “my people” kill gays. How many times have I simply existed in public as a gay, trans, person, and had white people tell me how I would be stoned to death by my own people.

When people see me, too often do they see an evil violent homophobic villain, they exclude me from their space for their own “safety”. They think I believe in homophobia and transphobia based on my dress and belief in Allah(SWT). Many believe I deserve to face homophobia and transphobia alone, as some cosmic revenge for my faith. Even if I wanted to pick this side, to leave my faith, I could not, knowing how conditional their support is, knowing the racism, xenophobia, and islamaphobia too many people in the community stood behind.

This is the time where I should explain the other side, about how I feel equally unsafe being LGBT in the Muslim Community. But I don’t, not nearly at the same level. This isn’t to say I never face hardship from fellow Muslims, especially online. I’ve received terrible and horrific messages and hate, I’ve recieved concerned people sending me Quranic verses and telling me how to fight against “homosexual & crossdressing urges”, I’ve seen fellow Muslims make homophobic and transphobic jokes. And my struggle is not just receiving that sort of sentiment, but knowing that white people will use it as ammo for their islamaphobia. When I’m attacked by fellow Muslims, too many white people don’t want to bandage my wounds, but to parade around my wounds as proof that Muslims deserve to be hated, attacked, and eradicated. Too many white people, especially white gays, will see our pain, suffering, and even death, and see only a pawn to be played in an argument against Islam. 

Perhaps I’m optimisic and religious, or perhaps I’m foolish, but when I see my fellow Muslims being homophobic or transphobic I don’t see it as reflecting the Ummah. For one, I don’t believe an individual is completely representative of a group, but I also know that homophobia and transphobia are not isolated to Muslims, or to any one group. I don’t feel Muslims are any more hateful than any other group.

In the Muslim community, my main fear is alienating the one place I can be Muslim in peace. Because I don’t have a community anywhere else. Because I can’t be myself in the LGBT community. Because as of 2017 over 50% of Muslim Americans don’t think homosexuality is wrong. Because there’s a gay Imam in our country. Because people can’t tell I’m LGBT by looking at me, but I can’t—and don’t want—to hide the fact I’m Muslim. It's easier to cut away the LGBT parts of me than it is to cut away my faith.

I don't want to cut away parts of who I am, though. I want to be whole, even if that means I'm alone. Even if it means I feel isolated.

But at the end of the day, I'm not isolated, I'm not alone. I know plenty of LGBT Muslims, there are so many of us and so many allies. I can surround myself with people that respect me for who I am.

I enjoy being a niqabi. I enjoy being Muslim.

I take pride if my identity, and I don't need to cut away my faith to do so. Because I have to believe I'm not haram, I have to believe I'm not alone, I have to believe I was made this way. Because each time I stay whole and show everyone how much I love myself for being Muslim and LGBT, maybe I can normalize the existence of LGBT Muslim Americans if only a bit. Maybe I can make younger LGBT Muslims feel like they're not alone. And maybe, just maybe, I can make people see that LGBT and Muslim is not a binary, and that you can be both.

[deathvsthemaiden]

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II You Absolutely Deserve Him, Bestie 🥺🤲🏽 (heartfelt + sincere)

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

[themusingmuslim]

Posting this to show some appreciation for our niqabi sisters. I've known many in real life. I've always been inspired by their preference for privacy when in public (yeah, they don't wear it indoors). I've also been moved by their unwillingness to force themselves to live up to societal pressures of 'dolling up' that girls often face. The niqabis I've known have been well-raised, loving, kind, intelligent, cheerful individuals just like any other random person. They've been my collage colleagues, my classmates, my teachers and my neighbors. My grandma also used to wear one on occasion, so the dress always reminds me of her.

Today, women of all ages choose to wear the niqab for the sake of comfort, privacy and modesty. Salute to those who wear it out of their own choice and free will, as most do.

[modestybae]

When I first started attending the halaqa which Allah made the reason for my change, I was a mess.

In terms of dunya, I had a great a life. Popularity, friends, the right attention from men, different places to hang out at every day. Even though life was technically good, there was something missing. The puzzle wasn't complete just yet.

One day, 2 months prior to my graduation, a friend called me, "my mom invited a mu'alima over and you should come. We can hang out before the halaqa, it'll be fun."

And that's why I went. I wanted to chill with my friends. When the mu'alima came and sat in the middle, I couldn't stop looking at her. She was a niqabi, something I didn't really like or understood the point of it back then, even when my mom and other relatives in my family were niqabis. And here I was sitting in my كاسيات عاريات clothes, and she looked at me and smiled.

The moment she started talking, I was in a trance. She started talking about tawbah and akherah, the grave and its horrors. Things i already heard from family, but it felt like it's the first time to hear it. And right then, I felt my heart flutter, something was responding to the words I'm hearing. And that scared the living lights out of me. I needed to put an end to this. I needed to have a reason to not come here again. I needed it to be justified and so reasonable that I wouldn't feel guilty.

So after she was done, I went to her, she smiled and I began listing all the things I do wrong, all the sins I fall into. I expected her to glare, and yell at me, I expected her to call me words and make me hate her and make me hate this place. She did the opposite. She smiled, and she talked about tawbah again, she told me that it's alright and it doesn't have to be all at once, she said that Rome wasn't built in a day, and change takes time.

That day when I was riding back home, I was so conflicted. I didn't want to go again, but I didn't have enough reason not to.

After I started attending regularly, I started letting go of the people and things that were part of my life. And although my life was technically less than it was, I never felt more satisfied. The puzzle was complete.

It's crazy scary how change can happen so suddenly. Because just like Allah willed that I see the truth, He can will to make me go back to my old self. I pray that He keeps me firm and steadfast upon His religion.

[neo-somaliana]

I really miss my niqaab but like how I miss msn chat or life before social media. A nostalgia that isn't regretful. Commemorative. It's a part of me that I know I've outgrown but I still love it. That's how I understand when people have amicable divorces. Sometimes it only lasts for a season, to birth a certain part of you or get you through a certain phase.

I started wearing it when I was 16. August 2006. And l wore it like a second skin. I never wore it out of a religious duty if that makes sense. It was the answer to a ducaa I made. I was asking Allaah to preserve me and make me firm in the deen because I had started practicing the beginning of that year and I felt my deen was very precarious and unstable and I didn't want to lose it. The next evening I see this niqabi auntie who was in the neighbourhood (we were living in Kenya at this point) and I gravitated towards her niqab without knowing why. I asked to try it on and went to check myself in the mirror, with everyone flocking me to see how I looked. And I don't know what happened, but something intuitively clicked in me. Like I just knew. I felt at home. I felt like the void that made me unstable was no longer. I never understood what happened and I didn't attempt to dissect it. I started wearing it that night and for over 8 years after that. I often refer to it as my exoskeleton. It kept me in place until I was mature and strong enough to peer into the abyss.

Anyway, I can't explain it in a way that would make sense. Just wanted to shout it out, just cus.

[dinahawary-auc]

Week 1 / 1st Class – Reflections (How do we look or not look at things?)

New beginnings bring fresh thoughts. Before attending the first class of “Beyond The Frame” course, I have attentively watched the course promo video and drew a personal vision of possible learning outcomes. In the first class, we took a round in which each student would reflect on what he or she expects from the course and what was his or her comprehension of the promo video. Obviously, each had his own personal vision.

I am aware that each person has his own interpretation of things, but when it came to visuals I thought messages might be clearer. However, our class discussions proved me wrong. Visuals are thought to be just representations of things that had happened at the time of producing these visuals. Every component in the visual is no more the same one. Also, the viewer’s personal experience, knowledge, taste, background and character determine the final perception of a visual or any other piece of Art. I recalled one time I met the former prominent Egyptian writer and novelist, Ibrahim Aslan, and I asked him about what he meant in a certain short story of famous short stories collection that he wrote. The writer smiled and told me: “What you understood is what I meant”. Visuals – like other forms of arts - once disseminated they are no longer solely owned by their producer but they are also identified through the recipients.  

Another surprising concept discussed during class, is Active Looking. Watching the experimental video of the invisible moon-walking bear was quite interesting. It is surprising how focusing on an activity of counting the passes made us all not see an obvious big bear walking among the crowd of ball players. In fact, it was shocking! This brought a question to my mind; how many things do we really miss while we think we are viewing?

I started by thinking of the term “active” describing our action of looking. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, active is being engaged in an action or an activity. A person might assume that he is always engaged in what he is doing especially while doing a very dominant action like looking at something, but I tried to think of the different situations that would result in an non engaged looking. It could be the focus on a certain thing that make us miss another during watching a video, like the invisible moon-walking bear. Or it could be multitasking, think of the many times you were watching an interesting movie or a show during which you answer a phone call, check your Instagram feed or reply to an instant what’s app message. Could it be – again – our personal perception that make us notice some elements and neglect some. What about an emotional distraction; such as, boredom or overthinking.

I came to admit that it might be impossible to claim that we perform complete actions of looking. It makes me wonder about all the things we might miss while looking; the invisibles. Whether in Arts productions or real-life situations, it is always full of invisibles, invisible living and nonliving things. They exist around us, but they are missed intentionally or unintentionally even if they are the most important element of a scene or an art. Recipients will just not see them.

I have a heart for invisibles. In every street, scene, movie, song or painting, I look for invisibles. Whether they are humans, tiny pets or street animals, little details: this small photo in a frame hung on a wall in the house featured in a movie, this sneaky smell I notice when I passed by the unknown shop in El Korba of Heliopolis area, this strange niqabi lady with the clear azure eyes only obvious from her face selling newspapers at the roundabout and insists on replying to your monetary tip with a clear French “Merci” rather than a normal Egyptian “Shukran”. All of these they form bits and pieces of how I live my life. It breaks me to realize that maybe I choose to see these invisibles and make them viewable to me while I simply neglect others and make them invisibles.  This is how my personal perception is tricking me.

[belezaartistica]

I want to start this post of by saying Eid Mubarak to all my people out there celebrating Eid Al Adha. I hope you had fun and enjoy this last day of the 3 days we have of it. 🎉 😄 🎁 🥰 It’s good to be happy and be able to live in those good moments. It is also true that we all have moments that aren’t so happy and positive Some of us may be having an Eid that may bring about sadness, because we aren’t able to celebrate we the ones we’ve lost. Some of us may be spending Eid alone. Some of us may be even dealing with trying to survive Covid-19 or other sickness or illness and ailment. And for anyone out there who feels sad or down on Eid I just want to let you know that my heart and my Dua goes out to you ❤️ It’s ok to feel what you feel and just remember this... Everything is temporary in this life nothing last forever and Alhamdulillah, that also goes for sadness and bad situations. Never give up hope that you will see a brighter day because you will InshaAllah 🤲🏽❤️🤗 I love you and hope that all of your situations improve soon! Ameen!! 🤲🏽 ❤️ 🤲🏽 ❤️ #eid2020 #eid #muslims #hijabi #niqabi #muslimah #keepyourheadup #makedua #peace #blessings #happiness #health #wealth #yougotthis #noworries #love #hugs #worthy #henna #hennagua #hengua #jagua #Hennajagua #jaguahenna #eidhenna (at Lookout Mountain) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDZXpDZBXmR/?igshid=4et32k3yl1z4

[writerfarzanatutul]

Interview of a real Niqabi ( Is Niqab an oppression?) part 7

Interviewer: What are some common misconceptions about niqabi women that you would like to dispel?

-Afraha: The misconception that niqabi women are dead serious! 🤣 It's funny how people perceive us. I wish I knew how to change that perception, but in reality, we're just like anyone else—full of life, laughter, and joy. The niqab is just a part of our identity, not a reflection of our sense of humor!

Assalamu alaykum [Peace be with you],

I'm reaching out to connect with Muslimah who have recently chosen to embrace Niqab or have embarked on a personal journey to strengthen their faith.

I'm working on a project to share inspiring stories of women who have transformed their lives for the sake of Allah (SWT) [Subhanahu wa ta'ala - Exalted is He]. These stories can serve as a source of encouragement and inspiration for others on their own faith journeys.

If you've recently adopted Niqab or have a story about strengthening your faith, I'd be honored to interview you. Our conversation could be featured in [mention the platform where you'll share the stories, e.g., a website, podcast, etc.].

Together, by sharing these experiences, we can uplift and inspire the Ummah [Muslim community], InshaAllah [God willing].

Please feel free to send me a private message if you're interested in participating. or,if you want you can answer these questions in comment section:

1.Assalamu alaikum. To begin, could you kindly introduce yourself to our readers? 2.What inspired you to wear the niqab? 3.When you didn't use to wear it, what was your perception regarding it? 4.Did you think of the niqab as an oppression? 5.What did you think about your religion? How was your relationship with Allah ﷻ? What did you think about our beloved Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam? 6.Why did you embrace this veil? 7.Why did you start taking your religion seriously? Was it a person, an incident, or a narrative? 8.Wearing the niqab does come with its challenges. For instance, eating in public with a niqab can be a bit problematic. Do you also face this problem? 9.How do you eat in public with the niqab on? 10.What was your family and friends' reaction? 11.What are some common misconceptions about niqabi women that you would like to dispel? 12.What was your lifestyle before embracing the niqab? 13.What was your personality back then? 14.How was your family background? 15. How do you handle situations when everyone criticizes you for wearing a niqab? 16.Have you ever received any mistreatment from people who already wear niqabs when you didn't used to wear them? 17.How was your life before you embraced the niqab? 18.Life after you embraced the niqab? 19.Do you regret your decision? 20.What role has education played in shaping your understanding of Islam and your decision to wear the niqab? 21.How has your understanding of modesty and femininity evolved since wearing the niqab? 22.Did you experience any stereotypes or misconceptions about niqab-wearing women, and how did you respond to them? 23.can you share your favorite verse from the Quran and tell us why it holds a special place in your heart? 24.What do you like about our beloved Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam (صلى الله عليه وسلم)? 25.What advice would you give to your younger self, knowing what you know now about faith, identity, and personal expression? 26.What advice do you have for individuals considering wearing the niqab or facing societal judgment for their choice? 27.Message to all those who want to change but are afraid. 28. Message to humanity. 29.Any advice you'd like to share with young Muslim women? 30.Lastly, I would like to ask "Are you oppressed?" 31.Anything else you'd like to add or share?

JazakAllahu Khairan [May Allah reward you with goodness],

Farzana Tutul )

[zihaaaa]

I had the craziest interaction and I can’t get it out of my mind. 

The other day, I walked into the prayer room with the intention of praying Dhuhr, and gave salam to a girl who was already in the room. I wouldn’t really call us friends per say, but I guess we were acquaintances, had a class together two years back, and occasionally ran into one another. 

I mean, this is probably weird idk, but I myself consider everyone my friend in a sense lol, like I try to meet and treat strangers and acquaintances and friends with the same heart and soul. I’ve just always been this way! And sometimes, it has worked in my favor, other times it has not, but it is a part of my personality, just another one of my quirks I guess :)

Anyways, back to the story, so she stops me even before I can take my shoes off and says she’s been meaning to talk to me. I had always gotten a sense of wariness and dislike from her, like she wanted to tolerate me, but just couldn’t get herself to do so. I never put too much thought into it, and did my best not to let it bother me or impact my own views and treatment towards her. And man, what a mercy from Allah this was. What a complete and utter mercy from Allah this is. Because the words that she next spoke shook me to my core.

She shared with me that for much of her life, she harbored a deep dislike, a hatred, for Muslims, despite being a Muslim herself. And then, that hatred began to be directed mostly towards Muslims who were visibly practicing and identifiable, and not hijabis, but niqabis. And then that hatred was directed towards me. Then she shared her honest to God judgements and I can’t get myself to write them because there were a lot and they actually really, really hurt tbh lol. But I kept quiet, let her finish, and again, I am so glad Allah gave me the foresight to do so. 

Because after stating all the judgements, all the reasons why she harbored hatred for niqabis, and why she had specifically began directing that hatred and anger towards me for the last two years, she apologized. 

She said she realized that maybe the problem wasn’t with me, but that the problem was with her, and her inability to accept that she is not the ultimate decider of what is right and what is wrong. That what she deems to be acceptable and normal, may not be what another deems to be acceptable and normal. She said she would not have come to this conclusion had she not met me. She said my bubbly attitude towards her, despite everything, made her question everything. She couldn’t understand why, after getting to know me, and having me open myself up to her despite her obvious reservations, she viewed me as something evil and worthy of hatred. 

She said I’m one of the kindest and sweetest people she has ever met, and that she feels guilty for it all. She began to cry, and she asked me to forgive her. Mind you, I was bawling at this point too lol. She asked me if we could start over, and if we could be friends. She said she would like that very much. That she was no longer embarrassed to be seen with me in public, and that even if she was, she wanted to get over it. Because this was not a reason to not be friends with someone. 

I told her, heck yeah, we’re friends, and we lived happily ever after! 

LOL but for real, all this shows the true strength of this individual. Because she humbled herself, and she did not have to. She shared dark parts of herself with me, things that were not at all easy to share with me, I’m sure. She apologized to me. She placed her dignity wide open before me, and she did not have to do any of this. I hold no negativity within me towards her, truly. She is my sister in Islam, and my friend, and I am so grateful Allah made for us a way, to reconcile in this life, to break away from negativity of all sorts. :’)

Truly, Allah is the changer of hearts, and Allah is the reconciler of hearts.

I know there are Muslims who abhor the niqab, trust me lol, been there, seen this, heard that. I don’t wear the niqab for any reason other than in obedience to my Creator. So who cares what people think? Even still, it’s instances like these that make everything worth it. It’s instances like these that give me hope. Its instances like these that humble me, that show me that I am nothing without my Rabb, and that He is my protector in every way, that my reputation and worth lies solely and completely with Him. I will never be ashamed of my obedience to Him, and I will never let anyone else shame me for my obedience to Him. 

I wondered how differently this all could have turned out had Allah not utilized me in a beautiful way. Had Allah not given me the patience and the ability to be friendly and kind towards her all this time, for years, despite knowing this person did necessarily value me. 

The little things matter so much y’all. Our daily interactions, our patience, our character, our dealings with one another. They are so powerful. They are the true harbingers of change, of healing, and of goodness at every level. And it may be a gradual change, a gradual healing, but that is still yet amazing and incredible and necessary.

There is nothing more I can say except,

subhanAllah, alhamdulillah, la ilaha illAllah, Allahu akbar. <3

[dirtanddustt]

What inspired you to wear it?

It wasn’t an instance or two but a series of events. My mums been wearing it ever since i can remember so it wasn’t something new for me, and my parents they have never blatantly expressed their desires for me to start wearing it  but I knew they really wanted me to, at some point in my life. All these years I’ve never really given it much thought - but around January time i began to get super close to these two niqabi’s at my college. They were the only ones that wore it at sixthform and i’d see them walking about fully covered head to toe in black during the intense heat and never even hear a breath of complaint from them. I always thought to myself, how beautiful and graceful they looked, how strong their iman must be…subahan’allah it moved my heart. I felt such an awe and respect for them. I adored them and aspired to be just like that. But worldly desires held me prisoner for a while, and shaitan kept convincing me otherwise. I just didn’t think i had the courage in me to wear niqab in an environment where people could approach me anytime and openly discriminate/ mistreat me just because I chose to cover my face, or the judgemental stares and discomfort that came along with wearing it…

But after speaking to these niqabi sisters about my concerns and hearing about their own experiences, I found that it wasn’t as bad as I made it seem in my head. Aside from the stares, people were generally pretty calm about it. Alhamdulillah the town I live in happens to be very diverse - spotting a niqabi sister walking the streets isn’t that rare. So i did a bit more research, had a few pep talks with the fam and some close friends, tried wearing it out a few times to see whether i felt comfortable in it or not, and eventually came to the decision to start wearing it full time once I finished college. For me, it was a huge battle within my mind but I’m glad I took the courage to take that step. Wearing the niqab, it really distances you from dunya – you stop concerning yourself with worldly things that you thought were so important and it brings you closer to your Lord. When you change yourself for Allah, eventually your soul and heart turns to Him too. I feel like the niqab has given me a new insight towards myself. It’s raising my thinking and perceptions, and it’s helping me focus on my relationship with Allah alone. I don’t spend hours before the mirror anymore, when I step out I don’t care about impressing the people around me. Life is now all about impressing the kings of kings, and beautifying a soul that is going to meet its Creator rather than beautifying a face that is going to be a food for worms.

So yeah…I better stop myself here otherwise i’ll ramble on and write a book 😅

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

The Chantry Explosion, Supporting Anders, and Islamaphobia

I’ve seen a couple mentions of the above topics together the past few days, and since I got a request to talk about it, I thought I would share my thoughts. As a quick point for those unfamiliar with me or my Dragon Age posts, I am a Muslim, specifically I am a niqabi living in America, so while I cant speak for all Muslims, I can at least give a perspective as a Muslim fan of Dragon Age. I was going to wait until I had my laptop replaced, but I managed to borrow a temporary replacement so I thought I’d get my thoughts out now.

The Chantry explosion in DA2 has caused a lot of debate and arguments, I think some of the first Dragon Age posts I ever saw were essay long posts dissecting the Chantry Explosion, Anders’s reasoning, and whether the OP supported Anders. This post isn’t about discussing the details and whether Anders was right, though I am very much pro-mage and anti-templar. Instead, this is about the way some Anders support can make Muslim fans uncomfortable.

As a Muslim, for me, the core of that has always been this: even fictional, the bombing of a place of worship can hit very close to home. 

When I first played through DA2, my initial feelings about the Chantry explosion were not positive. I’m a relatively new-ish DA fan, and when I played the finale of DA2, it was while trying to distract myself after hearing about the Christchurch Mosque Shootings. Not just that, but a couple years back, a mosque in my home city was bombed. My life was at a point where even family members and friends who weren’t Muslim expressed concern about my safety if I were to go to a mosque. I was right alongside them, and to this day I still am afraid to attend prayer at a mosque even though my faith is so important to me.

So while the Chantry is a fictional church, if anything closer to a Catholic/Christian place of worship, and in the story of the game is incredibly corrupt, the destruction of a place of worship is still upsetting. 

I’m not saying people cannot support Anders (I largely but critically support Anders) or that supporting Anders is inherently islamaphobia, but making light of the explosion with jokes can rub some Muslim fans the wrong way. When having debateds about Anders’s action, be respectful of Muslim fans who might be uncomfortable or who condemn about the Chantry explosion. It should also go without saying, but don’t make islamaphobic comments towards Muslim fans, even if you disagree with them or dislike them.

Even though there isn’t a direct correlation between the Chantry and mosques, be considerate of the fact that for some fans, a place of worship being destroyed or bombed is not just something that happens in the game. As much as I hate the Chantry with a passion, seeing any place of worship destroyed in a game is upsetting--I don’t think such terrible things should be gamified. 

[dina-elhawary-beyond-the-frame]

Week 1 / 1st Class – Reflections (How do we look or not look at things?)

New beginnings bring fresh thoughts. Before attending the first class of “Beyond The Frame” course, I have attentively watched the course promo video and drew a personal vision of possible learning outcomes. In the first class, we took a round in which each student would reflect on what he or she expects from the course and what was his or her comprehension of the promo video. Obviously, each had his own personal vision.

I am aware that each person has his own interpretation of things, but when it came to visuals I thought messages might be clearer. However, our class discussions proved me wrong. Visuals are thought to be just representations of things that had happened at the time of producing these visuals. Every component in the visual is no more the same one. Also, the viewer’s personal experience, knowledge, taste, background and character determine the final perception of a visual or any other piece of Art. I recalled one time I met the former prominent Egyptian writer and novelist, Ibrahim Aslan, and I asked him about what he meant in a certain short story of famous short stories collection that he wrote. The writer smiled and told me: “What you understood is what I meant”. Visuals – like other forms of arts - once disseminated they are no longer solely owned by their producer but they are also identified through the recipients.  

Another surprising concept discussed during class, is Active Looking. Watching the experimental video of the invisible moon-walking bear was quite interesting. It is surprising how focusing on an activity of counting the passes made us all not see an obvious big bear walking among the crowd of ball players. In fact, it was shocking! This brought a question to my mind; how many things do we really miss while we think we are viewing?

I started by thinking of the term “active” describing our action of looking. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, active is being engaged in an action or an activity. A person might assume that he is always engaged in what he is doing especially while doing a very dominant action like looking at something, but I tried to think of the different situations that would result in an non engaged looking. It could be the focus on a certain thing that make us miss another during watching a video, like the invisible moon-walking bear. Or it could be multitasking, think of the many times you were watching an interesting movie or a show during which you answer a phone call, check your Instagram feed or reply to an instant what’s app message. Could it be – again – our personal perception that make us notice some elements and neglect some. What about an emotional distraction; such as, boredom or overthinking.

I came to admit that it might be impossible to claim that we perform complete actions of looking. It makes me wonder about all the things we might miss while looking; the invisibles. Whether in Arts productions or real-life situations, it is always full of invisibles, invisible living and nonliving things. They exist around us, but they are missed intentionally or unintentionally even if they are the most important element of a scene or an art. Recipients will just not see them.

I have a heart for invisibles. In every street, scene, movie, song or painting, I look for invisibles. Whether they are humans, tiny pets or street animals, little details: this small photo in a frame hung on a wall in the house featured in a movie, this sneaky smell I notice when I passed by the unknown shop in El Korba of Heliopolis area, this strange niqabi lady with the clear azure eyes only obvious from her face selling newspapers at the roundabout and insists on replying to your monetary tip with a clear French “Merci” rather than a normal Egyptian “Shukran”. All of these they form bits and pieces of how I live my life. It breaks me to realize that maybe I choose to see these invisibles and make them viewable to me while I simply neglect others and make them invisibles.  This is how my personal perception is tricking me.