#just like you're alienated from your labor because you never see the results of the profit you generate

[cellobotomy]

one of the most inconsequential irritations of renting is the “landlord special”ing that you have to learn to live with. like. i COULD fix the paint drips that are fuckin everywhere (on the walls. on the doorknobs. on the wooden railings). i COULD make the yard nice and get rid of all the invasive plants there. but. it’s not my house. i don’t get to keep it. they’re going to raise the rent beyond what i can afford (by the end of the year. they told us this). i am alienated from the very walls i live within.

[britishboystm]

For Sure- Matt Edition

Warnings: End of smut, swearing, angst, bad parents, pregnancy, labor, fluff

A/N: Okay this is cute. Based on the song ‘For Sure’

•••

August 3rd, 1987

“Yes, yes, yes, right there! FUUUCK!” You cry out before your legs clench on top of Matt and you collapse down beside him onto your bed.

“Holy shit.” You breath out as the two of you lay sprawled out naked, breathing heavily and staring up at your white ceiling. Did it seem a little cliche that the two little best friends that lived in the same neighbourhood all their lives started dating when college began? Maybe, but you guys loved each other so it didn’t matter

“Holy shit indeed.” He chuckles trying to catch his breath. The back of his hand swipes across his forehead to get rid of any sweat.

You see, Matt had come knocking on your door earlier in the evening. He had just gotten off of work and was looking for some comfort from his loving girlfriend after a fight he had with his dad.

“Hey, you okay?” You ask as you open the door to see your boyfriend standing there, shoulders slumped forward and on the brink of tears.

“Can I come in?” He asks.

“Of course.” You say concerned, pulling him into the small home. Your parents were sitting in front of the tv watching some program you’ve never seen before.

“Matt’s here.” You call out. Your dad responds with a grunt of recognition and your mom turns her head.

“Hi Matt. How are you, love?”

“Fine thanks.” He wasn’t fine. You sigh and grab his hand to bring him up to your bedroom.

“So is everything okay?” You say while closing the door. He was already on your bed crying into your pillow.

“Matt baby what happened?” You coo, climbing on top of him and placing tiny kisses all over his tears stained cheeks.

“My dad. He just went in on me today. I tried to explain to him that I needed the weekend off to do a gig in Manchester. He said I couldn’t because of work.”

“Okay?” You didn’t really see why this would be enough to cry over. There was probably more to the story though. Matt didn’t cry over just anything.

“He told me I didn’t have talent and that I should focus on having a real job. Then he said I was going to end up like my mum, no goals and no future. I can’t believe he talked about her like that.” You were honestly shocked. He never really talked about his mom. She left when he was little and so he resented her. It was a sore subject for him.

“I’m so sorry my love. Do you want to talk about it?” He shakes his head.

“Can you just hold me?” He sounded so run down and defeated, it truly broke you inside.

“Of course.” He sniffles like a small child and starts to remove his shoes and gets under the covers. You give him a sympathetic look and get in with him. He moves the blanket so you can shimmy up against his chest and his steady breathing almost puts you to sleep.

“I love you.” He muffles in your hair.

“I love you too Matt.” He then lifts your chin to look at him in the eyes and he leans in to capture your lips in his. The kiss was innocent enough until it wasn’t.

And well, you know the rest.

You both took some time to regain normal breathing once you were done. His hand sneaks across the bed to grab yours in his and he gives you a thankful look. With a squeeze of your interlaced fingers he leans in and kisses your forehead.

“You’re too good to me.” You smile widely and place yourself against his chest.

“Stop.” You blush.

“It’s true. You and my music are the only positive things in my life right now.” You look up at him and place a kiss on his lips.

“Go to Manchester. If your dad asks I’ll cover for you.” He quickly sits up and looks at you with shock.

“Are you serious.” You nod and giggle.

“You would do that for me?”

“Of course I would. I’ve got your back Matt. Go play your music and get us out of here once you sign a record deal.” You laugh. He then jumps on top of you and peppers you with kisses.

“I love you, I love you, I love you. Hey Y/N? Have I ever told you that I love you?” You roll your eyes and smirk before pushing him off of you.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Now get out of my house and pack your shit. You have a long drive ahead of ya.” He beams and goes in for another kiss before you push him off once more. He shoots up out of bed and starts to walk out of the room but you yell after him.

“Hey, you forgetting something?” He frowns in confusion then looks down, noticing he isn’t wearing anything. All out on display for you. It was a nice sight sure but you didn’t want to distract him by pulling him back into bed. It didn’t hurt to look though.

“Oh right my clothes.” You giggle as you watch him quickly collect them and struggle to get into his pants, hopping around your room. His excitement radiated which got your stomach bubbling with happiness as well. You loved to see him happy and content so this was nice for you.

“Bye love.” He walks over to your side of bed and places a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Bye rockstar.” You whisper as he runs out the room leaving you naked and disheveled. In a good way though.

August 5th 1987

It was now Sunday and it would be safe to say that this would be a Sunday you would never forget.

You were currently sitting on the closed toilet seat in your bathroom as your best friend Lizzy sat on the bathtub edge.

“Is it time yet?” She asks, shifting forward to try to get a better look at the object in your hand.

“Lizzy, stop I can’t see if you're in the way.” You say nervously, your leg shaking and your thumb in your mouth, biting away at the nail.

All of a sudden the timer sitting on the sink goes off and you jump slightly. Your stomach churns and you grip the stick a little harder before flipping it over.

Your breath catches in your throat and tears brim your eyes.

“Well?” Lizzy asks, clearly impatient. Without saying anything you hand over the stick and put your head in your hands, sobbing.

“Jesus Christ.” She mutters after looking at the result.

August 6th 1987

“Matt I’m pregnant.” You say. No, that was too abrupt.

“Matthew, I’m having your kid.” No, that sounds awkward.

“You knocked me up and now you got to pay child support.” That’s just uncalled for.

“I am with child.” Who says that? You honestly didn’t know how you were going to break the news to him.

You paced around your room waiting for your boyfriends return. It was now Monday and his time in Manchester was finally over. Usually you would be ecstatic and ready to greet him with open arms.

This time it didn’t feel like that. This time around, you felt this awful weight on your shoulders and this dull ache in your stomach that wouldn’t go away. And it wasn’t just the baby.

How were you going to explain to him that he got you pregnant and basically every dream he ever had would now be crushed by a little crying, shiting alien. Oh you were going to be an amazing mom, you thought sarcastically.

Sure you had a job at the college radio station and Matt had the clothes stand (probably not for long though). But none of this was the plan.

You were taken out of your thoughts as one of Matt’s band members' car screeched down the road, synth blasting through the speakers. The car abruptly stopped in front of Matt’s and he jumped out, then pulled out his keyboard and bag, completely oblivious to the bombshell you were going to drop on him. He laughs at a joke and you can’t help but admire his smile before he waves his friends off and enters his home.

You assumed he was going to come right out to see you but he didn’t. You frowned and waited a couple minutes but nothing. You thought about going over to his but you were honestly so nervous you just layed on your bed and stared at the ceiling.

About ten minutes later, a loud banging could be heard from downstairs, you waited a second until the door just opened and the figure ran up the stairs.

“Y/N?” It was Matt. Your heart was racing as he entered your bedroom, fuming. Uh oh, you thought. He knew.

His nostrils are flaring and his hands are clenched.

“Fuck him!” He yells. Nevermind

“I come home, super happy. Gig went great by the way. But why would that matter when the first thing I hear when I come home is my dad screaming at me? I am so sick and tired of being pushed around by him. He doesn’t respect me and I don’t want to live under the same roof if he,”

“Matt.”

“Just because I don’t want to live out his dream doesn’t mean he can treat me like that. Honesty you and me should just leave. Get in my car and never come back. London sounds nice doesn’t it. That’s where I can hand off my demos. It will be perfect. Just the two of us.”

Not exactly, you thought.

“Matt.” You then say louder

“And another thing. He barely does anything when he isn’t working. He has the audacity to say I don’t have goals when he lays around all day while I’m-“

“Matt!” You yell finally.

“What?” He seems a little agitated at the fact that you weren’t listening.

“I’m pregnant.” You just had to say it. His face drops then almost becomes angry.

“Seriously Y/N, I don’t have the time for this. I’m already super pissed with my dad. I don’t need you joking around and pulling my leg about something like that.” That response does you in. Of course he thinks it’s a joke. Even though you have been living with the reality of it for the last 24 hours. All of the pent up stress finally leaves your body and you break down.

“I wasn’t joking.” You whisper out through your cries. His face drops again.

“Oh.” Now he didn’t know what to say. It was quite for a while, just your sobs as he stood there completely flabbergasted. He never thought about having kids. Didn’t even occur to him.

“You're not joking?” He finally says.

“NO!” You yell chucking a pillow at his face. How could he not get it through his thick skull. Seeing you in distress makes his heart hurt so he sits down beside you on the bed. He didn’t really know what to do so he just pats your back weirdly.

Then almost out of natural instinct he moves his hand to slide onto your belly.

“That’s our baby?” He asks quietly. Almost like he couldn’t believe. You look up with red, glossy eyes and sniffle.

“Yeah.” He could see how hopeless you were. He couldn’t leave you alone.

“I love you.” He says. You close your eyes, absorbing the words you always loved to hear. He was still your Matt.

“And this baby.” He says after which shocks you.

“Matt you don’t have t-“

“Shh.” He put a finger to your lips.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” You smile weakly and lean in for a deep and loving kiss.

“Matt I need to tell my parents.” He sighs and leans his forehead on yours.

“Your dad is going to kill me.”

“Well you should have thought of that before you ca-“

“Yeah okay I get it.” He rolls his eyes and grabs your hand to go out back where your parents were enjoying glasses of lemonade.

“Mum? Dad?” You said while standing, Matt right beside you.

“What is it dear?” Your mom asks, moving her sunglasses down her face. She always thought she was posher then she really was.

“Matt and I are having a baby.” And with that, the glass in her mother's hand dropped to the ground, spilling all over to the grass, leaving a feast for the ants.

Her father just looks at her in disgust and gets up and walks past them. Not even acknowledging what was happening. He was in denial.

“Oh that won’t do.” Her mother says.

“It isn’t really your choice now is it mum?” You say.

“Oh but it is. Because when the women at the book club ask about the family I will not tell them about my whore of a daughter.

This stung. A lot. You never got much support from your parents so you were almost numb to their shitty parenting.

“Okay well, um nice chat. We’ll be off then. Good luck with everything.”

“You’ll be back.” She says leaning back into her chair. No care in the world.

“Without a baby and your deadbeat boyfriend.” She continues.

Matt’s fists clench and you have to hold him back from him blowing up. Once he calms down you turn and start walking back in the house, Matt trailing behind you.

“What was that?” He says shocked. You crack a smile and grab your boyfriend's cheeks.

“We are free Matt.” You whisper. He scrunches his brows.

“What do you mean?” You pass him and run up the steps.

“I’ll call my aunt Helen in London. Go pack everything essential and meet me out front.”

He stands there for a second, surprised at your burst of energy but follows your instructions, leaving out the front door.

You worked on your room for a good twenty minutes and finished up the call with Aunt Helen before rushing downstairs with your bag.

“Where do you think you're going?” Your father says from the living room.

“Away. Thanks for everything or lack thereof. Hope all goes well.” You say bitterly.

“You're not leaving.” He says sternly, getting up and slamming the door as you open it. He towers over you and you stare him down like a little ferocious chihuahua.

“I loved you, and still do. It saddens me you couldn’t be a proper dad. I hope you learn from your mistakes and get your act together.” And with that you opened the door once more and closed it behind you, leaving your stunned dad.

Matt sat in the car patiently, then giving you a wide smile when you threw your stuff in the back and hopped in beside him.

“I love you.” You say.

“I love you too.” He grabs your hand before backing out of the parking lot and towards your new future.

April 7th 1988

“Matt get down here!” Your aunt yelled. She had been helping you and Matt out in your new apartment as you prepared for the baby. But there wasn’t much prep left to do since your water had just broken.

Loud footsteps could be heard coming down the steps to reveal your shirtless boyfriend with headphones around his neck.

“What, what happened.” He says frantically grabbing a crewneck sweatshirt and covering himself.

“My water broke.” You say calmly, not understanding why everyone was panicking.

“Oh god. Um Helen why don't you grab the bag. Y/N my love let's get you into the car yeah?” He tries to put his hand on your lower back but you swat it away.

“I’m fine. Stop grabbing me.” He sighs and lets you waddle down the apartment stairs, clearly struggling but too stubborn to ask for help.

Everything was fine until the end of the car ride. That was when the contractions kicked in.

All in all the process was awful. You asked for an epidural the second it was offered and you were chewing on ice to distract from yourself from the pain. Matt was an absolute travesty of a human . He was constantly putting his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. Throughout the pregnancy he had become a homebody. He didn’t seem like a party animal anymore. Just a man who loved his music and his girlfriend who would occasionally hang out with his old friends from Luton and new ones in London. He had proved to you during these past nine months that he was ready, even if he didn’t think he was. Watching him pace almost eased the gut wrenching pain. He was a dad.

When the actual birth happened, you weren't the nicest. Swearing at everyone and gripping onto Matt blaming him for everything and how he caused all this. It did hurt him but he knew you weren’t coherent. You couldn’t control your feelings.

But once your child was born though everything seemed to be right in the world. You were barely conscious but enough to ask for your baby.

“Congratulations, Ms L/N. It’s a girl.” Matt was a blubbering mess when he saw his little girl be passed to you. She was so small and it almost scared him just how much he loved her already. He never thought someone could match you in his ranks. He was wrong. The small baby cried and cried. The nurses came around to give you their best wishes and your aunt finally came in to check up on you. After all that was done, Matt and you were left alone with your perfect creation.

“She looks like you.” You say as you look down at the sleeping baby, her hand curled around your finger.

“You think?” He asks, cuddling in more on the hospital bed.

“Hmhm.” You say.

“Look what we did.” He chuckles to himself, in awe of everything happening. He then raises his hand and you roll your eyes before giving him his high five, a proud look on his face.

“Daddy loves you Hayley.” Matt whispers before giving his daughter a small kiss on the forehead. She yawned in return.

“And I love you Y/N.” You smile up at him and place a kiss on his lips.

“I’m so proud of you.”

July 17th 2005

You sighed deeply as you leaned against the wall and removed your paint splattered converse. For the last decade you have been a commission artist who has actually made a name for yourself in London and even out of the city.

You could hear synth coming from the office which made you roll your eyes. He better not be doing this again.

You walk down the hall and open the office door to see Matt on the computer with Hayley who was home from school for the summer.

“See right there. Isn’t that amazing! Nothing like it.” You smirk at your family.

“Sure dad. But let me show you this.” She leans over him and types in a song in her music library. ‘Since U Been Gone’ by Kelly Clarkson starts playing, a song she has already shown you. Matt thinks for a minute.

“Eh not bad, not Duran Duran but you know.”

“If I’m not mistaken, people thought your music was odd when we were young.’ Matt and Hayley turn around to see you leaning against the doorframe.

“Hi love, how was work?” Matt gets up and brings you in for a kiss. Hayley doesn't even flinch because she was so desensitized at this point when you guys showed each other affection. Even after all this time you two were still madly in love.

“Eh fine. Not getting stuff done as quickly as I like but you know.”

“Hi Mum.” Hayley calls out.

“Hey baby, how was your day?”

“Fine. Hung out with Jason.”

“Jason?” You repeat confused.

“Don’t even ask.” Matt says rolling his eyes. He was always the protective type.