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#just like the guilt of hurting them once even though they’ve dobe nothing but hurt me its fuckibg insane
tabbytiger · 2 years
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#13#the way things ended was so so messy#because they started to replace me with other people and started not hanging out with me as much anymore#I felt so betrayed like you couldnt have stabbed me deeper and twisted any harder#And when I went and had the final talk of cutting thrm off they blamed me#i think im just so torned up over it because the last talks we had they just kept bringing up that i never said anything when i had promise#to speak up#that shit was such a fucking kick to the teeth#to have been miserable for years and shouldered it for years#out of fear that if you had they wouldnt have hurt themselves or you#and at the end of it to have them use that as leverage against you to really drive it to the heart that YOU were the problem#Like you could not have stabbed me and twistef that knife any deeper or harder#like years of being put on a pedestal and to be told you were shit by someone you poured your life into#and I felt like i had to be the perfect fucking friend#it was suffocating#Like I know i should be so angry but im just so disgusted by the thought that i was a bad friend i cant get past the fucking guilt#just like the guilt of hurting them once even though they’ve dobe nothing but hurt me its fuckibg insane#Like god#Im not proud of the shit i said at all. All the pent up anger and frustration over the course of it all just fucking leapt out.#I guess i feel bad about feeling angry because they’ve just made themselve out to be the victim so perfectly i still cant help but#blame myself
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