#just like the geekiest nerdiest imaginable thing

[iamthekarmapolice]

it’s just the fucking name though. i can’t believe im going to have to go through the next few months telling people my latest obsession is a video game called “Metaphor re:fantazio”. Embarrassing.

[brodygold]

A Costume Idea

Halloween had always been my favorite time of year, but this year felt different. There was an excitement in the air, something electric and unspoken, and I knew I wanted to do something big, something unexpected. My boyfriend Eric and I had always gone for the geekiest and nerdiest costumes we could think of—last year, we had dressed up as characters from our DND campaign as an example. But I wanted more this time. Something bold. Something that would turn heads at the party we were invited to.

It was a lazy afternoon in late October when I finally decided to float my idea by Eric. We were sprawled out in our small living room, surrounded by the usual chaos of comic books, snack wrappers, and game controllers. Eric was deeply engrossed in his laptop, playing a strategy game, while I fidgeted with my phone, trying to gather the courage to pitch my idea.

I cleared my throat, a little nervous. “Babe, I’ve got an idea for Halloween this year.”

Eric barely glanced up from his game, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What is it? Going as our druid and wizard pair again?”

I shook my head, grinning mischievously. “Not this time. I was thinking… football jocks.”

That got his attention. He paused his game, looking at me like I’d just suggested we shave our heads and join a cult. “Wait. Us? Football jocks?” He gave me a once-over, from my messy hair to my skinny frame. “Are you kidding?”

I laughed, knowing exactly why he was so skeptical. Neither of us were remotely athletic. We were both nerds to the core, preferring to spend our free time gaming, reading comics, or binge-watching sci-fi shows. The idea of us dressing up as sports jocks was so far outside our usual territory that it was almost absurd.

But that was exactly why I loved it.

“Hear me out,” I said, leaning in closer, my voice brimming with excitement. “Not just any football jocks. The Golden Army.”

Eric blinked, and I saw the recognition dawn on his face. The Golden Army was a famous team from a fantasy series we were obsessed with. They were the epitome of strength, loyalty, and camaraderie, their golden jerseys shining like armor in every battle on the pitch. They weren’t just players; they were legends.

Still, Eric looked uncertain. “I don’t know, Daniel… we’re not exactly… jock material. We wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“That’s the point!” I said, unable to keep the excitement out of my voice. “It’s totally out of character for us. No one will see it coming. Plus, it’s Halloween! Isn't the whole point to be someone you're not for one night? Let’s surprise everyone.” I pulled out my phone and showed him the golden uniforms I had found online. They were perfect, gleaming in the photo like they had been forged in a fantasy world.

Eric studied the picture for a moment, biting his lip. I could tell he was starting to come around, but he was still hesitant. “It feels… weird,” he said quietly, glancing at me with a half-smile. “I mean, we’re not exactly built for this.”

“We don’t have to be,” I said, nudging him playfully. “It’s just for one night. Come on, babe, we’ve done the nerd thing every year. Let’s try something new. Think about it—walking into that party, heads turning, everyone doing a double take. We’ll look like total badasses.”

Eric looked at me, his resistance softening. I could see the idea starting to take root. After a long pause, he finally sighed and smiled. “Fine, you win. Let’s do it. But if we end up looking ridiculous, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

I laughed and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Deal.”

The next few days were a whirlwind of excitement as we waited for the uniforms to arrive. When the package finally came, I could barely contain my enthusiasm. I tore into the box and pulled them out. They were more beautiful than I had imagined. The gold practically shimmered in the light, and the detailing along the shoulders made them look like something straight out of a fantasy novel. I handed one to Eric, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Ready?" I asked, already pulling the jersey over my head.

"I guess so." Eric said, clearly more hesitant. He headed off to the bathroom to put his on.

As I continued putting the uniform on, my body developed a tingling sensation. My head started feeling fuzzy, and I could only barely focus on putting the rest of it on. When it was fully put on, I noticed some changes happening to my body.

My narrow shoulders pushed outward, widening as my chest expanded beneath the jersey. My arms, once skinny and lanky, swelled with muscle, biceps bulging. My legs, always lanky and weak, filled out, becoming thick and powerful like those of a seasoned athlete, filling out the pants nicely. My rear became a nice round bubble butt, perfect for attracting any guy I wanted. It was nice, but it terrified me. I wanted to stop it but no matter what I tried the changes kept happening.

"Babe? What's going on?" I yelled out. But Eric didn't hear me, likely on his way through his own transformation.

Next came the mental changes. My interests shifted entirely from nerd to jock. Memories of watching sci-fi movies became watching football games. Playing board games turned into playing all kinds of sports and working out to keep my body in shape. Meeting Eric on a dating app became meeting on the football team, hooking up soon after. My love for Eric became stronger than ever now that we were hot jock bros. After all, isn’t that what we always were? Both me and Eric are wide receivers, that’s right. I remember now. Eric says I’m getting dumber by the day.

Speaking of the broski, that’s when he came out of the bathroom in his uniform, the number 22 showing proudly on the front. “Ready to go to the party bro?”

I smirked at my hot boyfriend, putting the finishing touches on my face. “You know it bro!” I grabbed his ass, squeezing firmly Luke the good boyfriend I am.

“Let’s go show them how the Golden Army parties!”

[vladdyissues]

Please give us som Vlad headcanons!!! :)

Oh boy, you're gonna wish you'd never asked 😆 Long post ahead

🎧 Vlad is a huge fan of 80s synth-pop and new wave. Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Smiths, Duran Duran, Tears For Fears, Pet Shop Boys, a-ha, and New Order, to name just a few.

�� On a similar (quarter) note, music from the late 70s and early 80s is still difficult for him to listen to because it reminds him of the years he was pining for Maddie, the accident, and being hospitalized. Mid-80s music and beyond, when he began to take his life back and build his wealth and power, is his "good old days" music.

🎹 Another music headcanon: In Familiar, I hinted at Vlad being a pianist. I think he'd look pretty hot playing a saxophone, maybe even a trumpet. And Martin Mull is a pretty good guitarist and singer, so Vlad also having those talents would be really cool. But I like to believe that Vlad plays the geekiest, dorkiest, nerdiest, most Slav-coded instrument of all: the accordion. Just imagine him torturing Danny and Sam and Tucker with polka music and ballads about cheese while on a camping trip. Maybe Wulf howling in agony from somewhere in the woods.

🧀 Yeah, he’s basically the negaverse equivalent of Weird Al.

👂 Vlad got his ear pierced in the mid-90s.

🔥 Despite being a fire specter ("having a fire core", to use the phandom terms), Vlad loves the cold. Winter is his favorite season, Christmas his favorite holiday. A bit of a spoiler for either chapter 13 or 14 of Familiar: Vlad is a superb ice skater.

💔 Besides his mother, Maddie was the only woman Vlad ever loved.

🐄 Vlad grew up the son of a poor Wisconsin dairy farmer. His mother was a first-generation Romanian* immigrant. He was the first member of his family to go to college, and on a full scholarship. He has no siblings. (*I may adapt Vlad’s nationality depending upon the story/art/situation, but generally I like to HC him as Romanian, which you can see on his backpack here in this AU.)

👊 Vlad was a victim of bullying in his teen years. Because of his first name and his ethnicity—not to mention his appearance and disposition: skinny, gangly, "ugly", shy, nerdy, poor—Halloween was always a miserable time for him: getting pelted with plastic vampire fangs in the hallways at school; cruel nicknames like "Count Vladislob" or "Vladis-louse"; racist remarks about his Romani mother; "Bleh bleh! I vant to suck your bluud!" It was awful.

✌️ Because he spent so many years being made to feel ashamed of his unusual name, when he became rich and successful after obtaining his ghost powers, he put his name and initial everywhere. V for Vlad.

🏈 Vlad got his love of Green Bay from his father. Apart from a shared surname, it was one of the only two (2) things he and his dad had in common.

🔧 Working on farm machinery like tractors and hay balers was the other. Vlad and his dad would often fix the farm equipment themselves rather than hire a mechanic—mostly out of necessity. Vlad is still pretty good with a monkey wrench, though in college his focus shifted from engineering to physics after meeting Jack and Maddie.

🚀 Vlad grew up in the sixties. Space race, the moon landing, the Cold War. Every kid his age had space fever. Vlad was no exception. His bedroom walls were a collage of stars, rockets, shuttles, astronauts, and cosmonauts. Yuri Gagarin was his hero. He wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. (Just like Danny.)

🩸 I mentioned this on another post, but I'll add it here, too: Vlad's obsession with gaining more power stems from the trauma and weakness he experienced when he was hospitalized. He made a vow to never be that helpless again.

🪦 Both of Vlad's parents were dead by the time he got out of the hospital. He was estranged from the rest of the Masters family and therefore had no one to turn to.

👶 Because of this, Vlad became obsessed with having a family of his own. Ironically, the accident sterilized him. He will never be able have biological children.

🍪 Some of Vlad’s happiest memories are baking with his mother. He had (and still does have) quite a sweet tooth—and a penchant for cooking.