#just like how trolls can be reborn every morning but never dream because of the sopor slime they dissolve into when they sleep

[dingodad]

actually i think that's interesting i never really thought about it this way but since in homestuck death is just another form of sleeping, dreaming, spiritual awakening, then lord english not being able to die is what prevents him from growing spiritually. when he sacrificed his ability to reproduce he simultaneously sacrificed his ability to renew himself

[zenscientist-blog]

Albums of my undergrad

A compilation of albums I have listened to over the past 5 years. Many of these bring back close memories that I will never get back. These albums are really important to me and I feel like they shaped my life in one way or another.  1A (Sept 2012)

1. Channel Orange - Frank Ocean Channel Orange is a good start to this list. The first time I listened to this album was when my first boyfriend (who wasn’t my boyfriend at the time) notified me that the album had leaked sometime in July (?) of 2012. I remember vaguely laying on my bed messaging him on Facebook when I decided to download it. At this point in my life I was exploring my sexuality for the first time (legitimately); ultimately it showed in the way I treated him during first semester in university when he decided to switch from socio-econ to my current program and when I kept him my dirty little secret for about half a year. It was a learning experience, and I think it was because of him and Channel Orange that I decided to finally come out in 1B through a note I left under my pillow when I went home to visit during Christmas break. There was something very brave about Franks choice to out himself publicly on tumblr through this sentimental note about his first love - it really resonated with me at the time, and still does to this day. Of which turned out to be this fuckboy in Ottawa I still had residual feelings for from some stupid online infatuation that I eventually pursued in semester 3A. That’s an aside. This album also had significance to this duality and persona of mystery that my life had become. Duality as in my identity, mystery as in my inability to really open up to my close friends and family. It felt pure, to be reborn like that. It really felt like a new beginning, which is suitable cause the next four to five years definitely brought big change. 

2. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - Wilco YHF is an eclectic album to say the least -- this one tops a lot of P4K and other music blog lists.. and for a good reason. In 1A I annoyed my roommates to death by putting this album on loop, covering several songs on the guitar and eventually playing “Heavy Metal Drummer” at a coffee house with a group of my close friends. I still remember the printed out lyrics with a whimsical sketch of a woman’s figure on my wall. I also remember changing my cover photo at the time to the album artwork (cause I’m a total dork). At that time, a random architecture student decided to troll me by imitating my Facebook page - down to the article of clothing and backdrop of my profile pictures and my cover photo.. that happened to by YHF at the time. It became a joke in my program and I ended up meeting their entire group in residence in 1B.  The album was met with high praise with my half asian friend I met through my next door neighbour in first year. In Calgary my colleague told me his really intelligent aunt bought him the album in high school but never got around to listening to it until university.  The Idler wheel.. - Fiona Apple The Moon and Antartica - Modest Mouse The Blue Album - Weezer OK Computer, Kid A, In Rainbows, The Bends - Radiohead Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted

1B (January 2013)

Emergency & I - The Dismemberment Plan Good Kid M.A.A.D City - Kendrick Lamar Hurry Up I’m Dreaming - M83 Young Team - Mogwai Self-titled - My Bloody Valentine Person Pitch - Panda Bear Merriweather Post-Pavillion - AC Strawberry Jam - AC Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain

Summerbreak London (May 2013)

The Soft Bulletin - The Flaming Lips Acid Rap - Chance the Rapper Dummy - Portishead Doolittle - The Pixies Set Yourself on Fire - Stars Last Splash - The Breeders MCII - Mikal Cronin

2A (September 2013)

The Money Store - Death Grips Obsidian - Baths  Cerulean - Baths

This album was recommended to me by my co-worker in London when I worked back at the slab after noticing I had obsidian on my phone. I remember listening to this as I closed shop, everything I did there felt so efficient. My career right now feels very iterative and methodological, I wish I could just go back and serve someone ice cream. 

The album also reminds me of biking to theory every morning in the Fall and was the start of my inspiration to learn about DAWs in 2B; along with Cosmogramma and the Money Store of course.. I love the stark contrast between Obsidian and Cerulean, dark and light. Eventually I saw him live in Calgary that Summer.

‘if you still want me to be there, i'd be there in a minute to say: "i love you enough to drive an hour from wherever i am to be with you" and it is always the simplest shit that means the most’

Cosmogramma - Flying Lotus Flying Colours - Shad Narrow - Soap&Skin Six Feet Beneath the Moon - King Krule 2 - Mac Demarco 

2B (January 2014) Loud City Song - Julia Holter Weird Sisters - Joanna Gruesome Nick Drake - Pink Moon Fetch - Melt-Banana Clara Schumann Benji - Sun Kil Moon Sea Change - Beck Immunity - Jon Hopkins I’m Wide Awake and It’s Morning - Bright Eyes

Calgary (May 2014) Michigan - Sufjan Stevens Illinois - Sufjan Stevens Mezzanine - Massive Attack  Keep It Like a Secret - Built to Spill Is This It - The Strokes They want my soul - Spoon Ocean Death - Baths Sound Dust - Stereolab

3A (September 2014) Neon Golden - Notwist Kill the Moonlight - Spoon Either / Or - Elliott Smith

Elliott Smith will always have a place in my heart. There is something about listening to Elliott’s music that is sad yet hopeful. He does a great job of depicting complex emotions and it’s something I look for in art. It’s strange how we do a downward comparison; it’s relieving to know someone else is having a shitty day.  I don’t really remember listening to Elliott Smith for the first time. I do remember the period I did fall in love with Either/Or, which was at the end of a rocky relationship. I’d say it was a devastating time in my life (not to sound too dramatic). I was coming back to school from Alberta and I had been in a long-distance relationship with someone that went to school an hour away by train. The end of this relationship dragged on for months. I was holding onto someone that did not see me the same way. That’s ok. He never had this intention that I would move across the country for him on a whim. I wish he would have figured that out before it were too late. Unless he realized this in Calgary. Either way, I don’t regret it. I loved him a lot. Unfortunately I was a mess. I don’t think I have ever been more depressed in my life when that one ended. At the time my mom was also going through some tough shit with her separation. I needed to be strong for my mom. It’s amazing how things have really pulled through for her. Too many tears were shed that October. All my friends were there for me. The last track on Either/Or is about Elliott’s ex-girlfriend. Its the only song in his discography that I can pinpoint and say “holy shit. Elliott was really in love with this girl, and she broke his heart”  Say yes!!  This list is turning into a personal diary.. but I see it as a way for me to remember my past as it was. I kind of like this. Turn on the Bright Lights - Interpol Endless Fantasy - Anamanaguchi

Without You I’m Nothing - Placebo Leaves Turn Inside You, Repetition - Unwound Juju - Siouxsie and the Banshees Music Has the Right to Children - Boards of Canada Geogaddi - Boards of Canada Ottawa (January 2015) Halcyon Digest - Deerhunter Whirr - Distressor LP1 - FKA Twigs Homogenic - Björk French Exit - TV Girl Black Messiah - D’Angelo Rumours - Fleetwood Mac Otis Blue - Otis I See a Darkness - Bonnie Prince Billy Chutes too Narrow - The Shins I Love You Honey Bear - Father John Misty Nocturne - Wild Nothing 3B (May 2015) To Pimp a Butterfly - Kendrick Lamar Celebrity Skin - Hole Self-titled - Garbage  Sometimes I Just Sit and Think - Courtney Barnett Whirlpool - Chapterhouse Self-titled - American Football Richard D James Album - Aphex Twin Drukqs - Aphex Twin Gentlemen - The Afghan Whigs  Self-Titled - Third Eye Blind

Kitchener (September 2015)

Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins Sun Coming Down - Ought Life of Pause - Wild Nothing Colour Trip - Ringo Deathstarr  Fading Frontier - Deerhunter So the Flies Don’t Come - Milo Soul Mining - The The Moon Safari - Air Depression Cherry - Beach House Have you in my Wilderness - Julia Holter 4A (January 2016) Blood Visions - Jay Reatard Young Americans - David Bowie Black Star - David Bowie Meliora - Ghost Nowhere - Ride SVIIB - School of Seven Bells  Emergency on Planet Earth - Jamiroquai Parklife - Blur Wellness - Last Dinosaurs Kaputt - Destroyer The Campfire Headphase - Boards of Canada Oxford (April - May 2016) A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead Bottomless Pit - Death Grips Ottawa (June - August 2016) Fantasma - Cornelius  Communique - Dire Straits Tarot Sport - Fuck Buttons 69 Love Songs - The Magnetic Fields Eye Contact - Gang Gang Dance Strangers - Marissa Nadler Tired of Tomorrow - Nothing Malibu - Anderson Paak LP2 - Metz  Telephone - Noname Ottawa (September 2016) Endless - Frank Ocean  Blond(e) - Frank Ocean 22, A Million - Bon Iver Entertainment! - Gang of Four Self-Titled - Elliott Smith Screamadelica - Primal Scream Autolux - Future Perfect Teens of Denial - Car Seat Headrest Guilty of Everything - Nothing

4B (January 2017 - Present) From a Basement on the Hill - Elliott Smith The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails Mic City Sons - Heatmiser Gala - Lush Self-titled - Blur 13 - Blur ...