#just like Hearth I too have younger brother ex host relations

[citrus-system]

I don’t really consider myself host anymore. I think right now we’re stable enough to divvy up the front load. But I digress-

How long have you been host? Are you aware of the previous host?

I hosted for about 5 years, two of which were during a very quiet era & front stuck. Yeah, I was always really close with the previous host, these questions seem to migrate towards the myth that host = primary childhood alter or “core”, me and our last host were aware of eachother, just too young and ignorant to understand we were more than just imaginary friends.

Do you identify with the body?

I make the body identify with me, lmao, we were pretty early in our transition when I became host, so aside from the tits I’d say so.

How long have you known you’re not alone?

I’d say since we were 6. I don’t have any memories of childhood, but according to Lee (ex-host) I was around & a comfort to him. Though it wasn’t until our diagnosis that I was able to come to terms with our DID and really get into it and the other parts.

Do you have access to the inner world? Do you have a buddy in the system?

Yeah, our inner world isn’t elaborate so it’s not too difficult. I also don’t think our inner world functions how other’s do. When someone isn’t conscious we essentially just take a nap, the only time someone is in the living room is if they’re co-con I think. And yeah, we’re all pretty good buddies, aside from Lee I get along with Krow the best.

Is there an alter in the system that doesn’t like you?

Used to be, Bones was a large antagonist during the bulk of my hosting year, and was a large part of my denial years. The idea of me healing meant all of us healing, which was something he wasn’t ready for and resented me for.

Did your parents* ever suspect of you being a system? If yes, when?

Nah. Wtf are those lmao

Is being a host difficult to you? What’s your favorite and least favorite part of hosting?

Oh yeah, I didn’t host because I was fit for it or anything, purely situational that I took over the burdens. I am very prone to total burn out, the only thing I’ve got going for me is my love for manual labor & my headmates. I’d say my favorite part is achieving what we have so far, and knowing my survival was a large part of that. My least is the burn out obvi, at this point if I front for too long I basically counter it by going ghost for days lmao

Do you have the same appearance in the inner world? If you’re out as a system, can people recognize you?

Yes and no. Like I said, I tailored the body to me because I hosted for so long. I’m a bit taller and have a cock and balls internally. My bsf is the only one who IRL knows we’re a system. He is very aware of when we switch and can pick up pretty easily on who’s fronting, but to everyone else, even close friends; no.

What’s the funniest interaction you had with someone in your system? Is there someone you wish you could communicate more with?

There’s a lot, we are shitpost supreme up here. Me and Krow argue over which bong to visualize & accidentally call each other daddy too casually (joke gone too far, RIP). I think we all collectively wish to interact with Tadpole more, she’s mainly an EP so we only see her during bad times.

Do you think you’re doing a good job as host? Is there someone you’d give the role to?

I can look back and say uhhhh…. 7/10. I got us a “good” paying job, stable hours, a functioning car and a place to call our own. I had my downs like any other person but ultimately we survived and are doing better. I can at least give myself credit for that. And nah not really, I hope we never get bad enough to have to have a set host. Shit happens, I get it, but being a sole fronter is exhausting and I don’t wish that upon any of my headmates.

To the previous host:

ILY Lee, ride or die

To the next host:

Uhhhhh good luck charlie, just don’t loose the binder full of important shit. We made it for a reason. Also look at the syskids’ Pinterest, that shit gives me butterflies

Rigel made this post!