#just kidding it's the one directly in the middle. the one that looks dumb

[chalkscrub]

babygirl doodles from a little while ago

[gutsby]

Love Tap

Pairing: Dad!Joel x Reader

Summary: Old habits die hard with your husband—touching you at inappropriate times is one of them.

Warnings: 18+. Joel Miller is a MUNCH Oral (f!receiving). Unprotected p-in-v (quickie). Slice of life, domestic-style and Joel calls you ‘Mama’ a whole lot. One playful bite.

Word count: 2.4k

Note: ‘You better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up’ is a line from 2Pac’s song, ‘Hit ‘Em Up.’

Joel Miller was a wonderful father.

Occasionally, he forgot how to act like one.

He had a tendency to get a little careless. Sloppy.

Letting the dignified, ever-respectful façade slip every now and again and smacking your ass when you walked past. Copping a feel when you had to squeeze by him in the kitchen. Best of all, pinching your cheek through your skirt while you were cradling the baby—his baby—and leaving you no choice but to shoot him a quick back-the-fuck-up-before-you-get-smacked-the-fuck-up look and a covert middle finger to remind him that he wasn’t supposed to be slapping your butt in front of the kids.

It was just bad practice to engage in those dumb, flirty antics, particularly when your four-year-old son had made it his mission in life to imitate everything dad did.

But again, Joel would sometimes forget that.

On a morning when he’d woken up a little too early with an erection that was a tad too stubborn to ignore, he got especially forgetful. He found himself plastered to your backside at the edge of the bathroom counter with a grin, knowing damn well you only had twenty-five minutes to get the family dressed, fed, and on the road.

“Joel, you are so—”

“Quick. I’ll be quick.”

His eyes suddenly pleading with yours in the mirror. You just might’ve had the willpower to turn his honeyed gaze away were it not for the lips that followed it. Tracing the shell of your ear and behind it, down your neck, leaving trails of soft kisses down the skin until he reached the collarbone, your sweet spot, and licked it—the bastard.

“Five. Minutes.” Your words were equal parts invitation and warning as you shimmied your PJs over your butt.

“You know I’ll have ya finished in two, sweet pea,” Joel teased—but deep down, you knew he wasn’t kidding.

Both of you had cum and were done in a record-breaking four and a half minutes, swapping pyjamas for normal clothes in less than half the time and stepping back out of the bathroom with your hair only marginally tousled.

By now you had the ‘Pre-K starts in thirty’ types of quickies down pat. You were proud. You glanced over your shoulder to see a similar glint in Joel’s eye, and as you started out the bedroom door, you felt a tap on your ass—or, with the sheer breadth of your husband’s hand, more like a WHACK, followed by the sound of a stifled laugh.

“Can Daddy get some more’a that later?” he quipped.

“More’a what?”

Aw, hell.

Your sweet, forever nosy mini-Joel was standing directly in front of you with two pinched brows and a mostly eaten dino nugget clenched tight in his tiny fist.

You opened your mouth to conjure up some half-assed excuse for the spank your son just saw, but then your husband was scooping the kid up in his arms and toting him straight down the hallway, and you heard, faintly:

“Whatcha gettin’ from Mama later?”

“None of your beeswax, bubs.”

Joel got his second helping around lunchtime.

He’d been in between calls with what felt like an endless stream of subcontractors, suppliers, architects, and project managers when he swung by the house. You were in the midst of baking cardamom buns when he blew through the kitchen like an EF5 tornado and decided he’d be feasting on something else entirely.

“Joel, my buns,” you whined as soon as he’d carried you up the stairs and tossed you onto the bed, eager as ever.

“Fuck your buns.”

“You already fucked ‘em this morning—can you relax?”

Your husband already had your pants tugged halfway down your legs. You let him, then helped him kick the fabric the rest of the way off when it got to your ankles.

“You’re a fuckin’ maniac, Miller, y’know that?”

Something in the way he smirked as he sank his face between your bare thighs told you he already knew that. You would’ve liked to try and scold him again—give him a little more grief for the baked treats that would surely be burnt to a crisp by the time he was done—but then you felt his tongue lick a stripe up your slit, and you refrained.

Even if you’d wanted to, you scarcely would’ve been able to form a single word apart from, ‘Fu-cking hell, Joel’ and ‘Right there, right thereohfuuuuuuckfuckfuck.’

That was just fine by your husband.

In fact, he seemed perfectly content to lap at your slick, glistening folds while you moaned and cursed his name; it made him proud. Appreciative. Maybe even a tad too smug for his own good, if he were being honest, because the way you fisted his hair and rutted your hips against his face made you act a little more like him. A touch more reckless, sloppy, and desperate than your daily obligations as parents would seem to allow. A bit less proper and refined and a lot more slutty—all for him.

Joel teased your clit with a few soft touches from the tip of his tongue, and you almost tore the sheets in two.

“That feel good, Mama?” he hummed.

“F-Fingers, fuck, Joel— fingers,” you begged.

Still using his tongue, Joel drew the shape of a lemniscate extra slow just to spite you. You whined and bucked your hips in protest, but the man was undeterred—he knew exactly what he was doing. The only way he could be tempted to use his fingers now would be to spread your lips apart and lick you more, which he did.

Joel licked and sucked and drove you up the fucking wall with those figure eights until you nearly couldn’t take it. In one hasty, desperate move, you tilted your hips and tried to slip a finger past Joel’s mouth, into your cunt.

He bit that finger. You yelped.

“JOEL!”

It wasn’t that the bite actually hurt—his teeth barely grazed skin—but rather the way he refused to speed up. Gauging your wants and your needs with expert precision, he massaged the hood of your clit with his tongue and took care to plant suckling kisses as he did. You moaned and squeezed the bedspread, relishing the vulgar sounds of his mouth and the need he was building inside you. You turned your head to the side and whined into the pillow, knowing from the depths of your soul you needed release, but Joel just wouldn’t oblige you…yet.

When he grinned against your wet, warm, and slippery folds, his mouth might as well have joined in and said, ‘Keep going—you’ll cum on my tongue when I say so.’

Instead, Joel opted to say ‘Mama’ again, softly.

Mama.

He always called you that when he took you extra slow. Sometimes when he took you quick, too. Like a reminder to you both that you were, in fact, the mother of his children, and if the man had had it his way he’d have given you fifty more by now, daycare bills be damned.

He was generous like that. Always giving, giving, giving.

Just not when it came to doling out orgasms sometimes.

“I have a divorce lawyer on speed dial, just so you know,” you hissed through gritted teeth, head falling back when Joel’s tongue sank forward—inside you, then, “FUCK!”

“Mhmmm,” he hummed before retracting once more. Licking the soft, fleshy rim and nearly eliciting a scream.

Joel traced a circle with his tongue. He savored the taste. While you were whining and grinding your hips against the wet spot underneath you—a puddle that would only grow larger the longer he went on—your husband was devouring you, kissing your thighs every now and then.

“Well, if we split, my tongue goes too,” Joel said. Smug.

“Texas is a community property state,” you murmured, “I taught you how to eat pussy so your mouth is a marital asset.”

Silently, Joel wondered how that argument might hold up in court, grinned, then continued licking your cunt. You squeezed his head with your thighs, dug the balls of your feet in the sheets, and let out a lewd, pornographic scream that could’ve woken half the street. Luckily, your neighbors were probably all at work, your bedroom walls insulated just well enough to mask the noise, and Joel’s resolve crumbling slowly as he kissed between your legs.

One wanton, shameless, ‘I’m gonna cum, Joel, please’ was like music to his ears. He couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten with a wife and mother as sweet as you, so upright and polite in your day-to-day life and then a hot, trembling mess beneath his tongue when he needed you like this the most. Surely he couldn’t treat you so mean.

Joel wedged two thick fingers in your slick, dripping heat and beckoned you to him as kindly as he possibly could. Rubbing the pads of both digits, callused as they were, against the spongy insides of your core and flicking them forward—‘C’mere, Mama, Daddy’s right here, go on’— so of course, you had no other logical choice but to cum.

It was all habit by now. A dazzling, sumptuous routine.

And Joel Miller was certain he’d never tire of seeing it.

Your spine arched off the mattress an inch or two, toes curling at the feeling, and while the sensation spanned over your body, your husband was the first to see it, sense it on his lips and tongue and fingers just as well. He squeezed your hip, told you how fucking pretty you looked when you came for him, then patiently waited out the spasms and cries and fingers lacing through his soft, dark locks like he was your last remaining tether to earth.

Then he kissed the inside of your thighs and smiled.

“All better, honey?” he hummed.

“Yeah,” you breathed back.

“Still want a divorce?”

A smirk and a response of ‘Not until you knock me up at least one more time’ was hovering somewhere over your tongue when you felt the bed shake. Buzzing. Vibrating?

Joel sat up between your legs and yanked something out from under his ass. He peered down at the thing—staring into a screen—and cocked a brow as he looked back up.

“Someone’s been naughty,” he said simply. Grinning.

He lobbed the phone your way, and you just barely managed to catch it between two trembling hands.

Incoming Call: Francisco C. Morales Elementary

You shot Joel a look and answered it instantly.

Disoriented, disheveled, and slightly foggy from climax, you half-expected to find one of your son’s disgruntled teachers on the other end of the line, reminding you that today was a noon dismissal and everyone was supposed to pick their kids up an hour ago. Your husband was the one who would always keep up with school schedules, so your gaze narrowed at him, butt scooting up the bed while he tried to dive right back between your legs.

“He-llo?”

You smacked a hand away from the front of your blouse.

“Is this Mrs. Miller?” a voice trilled through the phone.

Yes, unfortunately, it was.

You almost had to backhand Joel across the face when he tried to bite the button off your brand new top, teeth ruthless in their pursuit of getting you fully naked now.

“This is she,” you squeaked.

Someone cleared their throat on the other end of the line—as though they knew you had a broad, hulking husband with a cock as hard as sheet metal trying to tear your clothes off while you talked. You stifled a shriek and a giggle when you felt your relentless man move down.

Joel was busy working your blouse from the bottom with that feral mouth of his when the voice sounded again:

“We’d really appreciate it if you and your husband could come see us this afternoon to have a little chat about—”

Your eyes widened. You clutched your phone even tighter and this time, more seriously, shoved Joel away. When he frowned and started to pout, you raised a finger.

“A-About what? Has my— has he done something bad?” Your voice all of a sudden tight, words wavering just enough to snag your husband’s attention too.

“We can explain more when you get here, he’s just…”

‘What the fuck?’ Joel mouthed silently, leaning in.

“What? What’s he done?” You couldn’t help it.

You heard a long sigh across the line, and you knew that wasn’t good. It sounded a lot like the kind of sighs you made whenever your baby made a colossal mess all over the kitchen floor, or your husband slammed a door too loud and woke the kids from their nap, or your son just—

“—keeps slapping his classmates on the butt.”

“Wait, what?”

You blinked. Joel coughed. Together, half-naked on the bed, you sat up a little straighter and leaned even closer into the phone, hearts starting to thud in your chests.

“Your son was just…spanking other kids and asking if he could ‘get some more’a that later,’ and when his teacher asked him where he’d learned to do a thing like that—”

You turned. Joel paled. Your gaze could’ve seared a hole through the front of his skull if you stared any harder, and just as your son’s principal continued talking, Joel raised his hands in surrender, already trying to apologize.

“Honey—”

“—and he told her he saw your husband do it at home—”

You didn’t need to hear another word. You were already fishing for your pants, yanking them back up your legs and brushing aside your husband’s soft, red-faced attempts at consolation, and when you were dressed, you started straight for the door. Already babbling some half-coherent apology to the woman on the phone, dodging Joel’s impossibly large hands and arms and hugs as he tried to pull you back into his chest and tell you he was sorry. You just might’ve let him, and maybe even believed him to be sincere, if you didn’t see the tiniest smirk on his lips as he fought to wrangle you in.

You’d made it to the door and were just about to pivot to give Joel the finger, tell him this was not funny at all, and he was coming with you right now, when both of you halted at the threshold and were obliged to turn again.

You sniffed the air, and your husband made a face.

Was it—

Before you could think, a plume of smoke drifted out through the kitchen door. Your eyes widened, and right as the fire alarm let out its piercing scream, you wailed,

“My buns!”

[transvampireboyfriend]

Eddie would come up with the most elaborate schemes to kiss Steve for the first time.

here's mine: He realizes Steve is a gossip early on, like the first time they all hang out someone mentions a rumour in passing and Steve latches on. Eddie is delighted. He's enamoured by the twinkle in Steve's eyes and the intensity in his probing, even the enthusiasm in giving out the information he has about the people in question.

So Eddie knows what he has to do.

Whenever Eddie sees or hears something that frankly should not be any of his business he makes sure to tell Steve. He doesn't mention it to anybody else and most of the time he doesn't care about it much, but he needs to tell Steve.

And he only does it when it's just the two of them. He finds Steve in a secluded corner of the Family Video, says "i think my boss is cheating on his wife" and is rewarded with a gasp.

He follows after Steve when he goes to refill the popcorn in the middle of movie night and casually asks "you know who I saw the other day coming out of Laura's house at 3am?" Steve raises his eyebrows higher than Eddie has ever seen.

He calls Steve at midnight on a Wednesday and opens with "my neighbors are definitely getting back together" Steve answers with a devastated "noooo!"

He leaves the kids in the cookie aisle to go catch up to Steve and lean on the shopping cart shoulder to shoulder and whisper "dont look now, but Heather and Monica are here together, right behind us. They ARE dating" Steve looks immediately.

And Eddie's not only excited about his initial reactions, but he thanks the heavens for his discovery because it gets him Steve's total, undivided attention every.fucking.time. without fail.

Steve turns fully to him, touches Eddie's arms for emphasis, shoves him when Eddie says something dumb, tugs on a strand of his hair a bit when Eddie says something silly, opens his eyes SO wide or squints at him and his eyelashes look sooo pretty. Steve leans in and whispers back and grins and teases and scrunches his nose in the most adorable gesture Eddie has ever seen in his life.

With practice, Eddie goes from having to give Steve's shoulder a back handed slap to get his attention, to just looking at him directly for like 5 seconds and then Steve knows Eddie has something to tell him.

so he does it at dinner, on a nondescript date at a nondescript hour because, mostly, Eddie just kinda can't take it anymore.

He's listening to Steve tell this story about a costumer and frankly, forgets to look away from him and Steve interprets this as Eddie having something to say. He cuts himself off, tilts his head and asks "what?" with mirth in his voice.

Eddie smiles, a little mischievous and says "c'mere I have to tell you something"

Steve smiles back, but says "we're the only ones here, Eds" gesturing to his kitchen.

Eddie rolls his eyes a bit and threatens "do you want me to tell you or not?"

Steve leans across the table, his cut off tank almost touching their spaghetti.

Eddie wants to shove his hands through the armpit holes, but he settles for holding Steve's jaw and threading his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Steve's lips are as soft and warm as he expected, he tastes of the red sauce they cooked together and he smells good enough to eat. Eddie indulges in a thorough kiss but keeps it short.

No matter how many times Steve looks at him like he's the most interesting person in the room, he hasn't outright said that he likes Eddie like that, so he'd rather be careful.

Eddie pulls back and finds Steve smiling, his eyes closed still.

Steve blinks his eyes open and looks at Eddie, his tongue darts out to swipe across his lips and he says "I think that's the best one you've told me yet"

Eddie snorts and feels his cheeks burn "Yeah?" he asks.

"Mmhm" Steve confirms against his lips, already kissing Eddie again.

It takes a while, but eventually Eddie realizes Steve doesn't only give him his undivided attention when he has gossip. He does it pretty much all the time.

Maybe at some point it expanded to everything Eddie has to say.

Or maybe it was like that all along.

[nekropsii]

Hello, I really like your analysis, especially of the dancestors but there's one part I don't quite get and would apreciate if you could ellaborate on

It's the part about how it's fucked up for them to be romantically involved with the beta trolls, because in the text, iirc, it does'nt seem like it is. They are treated like normal dumb teenagers, not that different than when they died as such, and I know it is canonically possible to go through character development after death, after all, dead Vriska did, but I can't remember the comic indicating that the dancestors did?

They still feel like teenagers and the comic doesn't seem to ever hint at abuse by virtue of their maturity, or include it as a theme or something. To me, that they spent whatever senseless amount of time dead thinking about stuff and never matured out of being teenagers just seemed like the sort of kind of dumb thing you're supposed to suspend your disbelief on for the juicy tumblr parody jokes and ignore, like the comic (imo) seemed to be doing.

Again, i'd love to read what you have to say on this and I hope to not be misremsmbering anything.

Thank you! I really appreciate it. I'm happy to explain.

1.) They are called the Alpha Trolls. Not the Dancestors. "Dancestor" refers to a relation that every single character group has with one another - it means "Person who is simultaneously your Descendant and Ancestor by way of a Scratch", and was actually originally coined by Porrim to describe the Beta Trolls.

The Beta Trolls are the Alpha Trolls's Dancestors. The Alpha Trolls are the Beta Trolls's Dancestors, also. The Beta Kids are the Alpha Kids's Dancestors as well, and vice versa. "Alpha Troll" is more accurate and more specific. They're even called this directly within the text, by themselves even. Best to just use that label instead.

2.) The Beta Trolls are 13 years old. The Alpha Trolls are 19 years old. That is a middle schooler and a college student. That is the power imbalance. That is what is wrong here. This also meets the DSM-5's definition of Pedophilia. Those children are 6 full years younger than they are, they should be completely off the table. This is not an excusable cultural difference, or something you are supposed to ignore, it is framed within the comic as being fucking gross. Meenah's relationship with (Vriska), who was 13, should have already clued you into that. Hell, the age disparity is called directly into focus as being fucked up by Meenah herself. More than once, actually.

NOTE: Yes, I know that 7.5 Sweeps translates to 16 Years - though, more accurately, she'd be 15 Years, since she hasn't even reached 7.5 Sweeps yet. (Vriska) and the Vriska in this picture are two different characters. (Vriska) is the Pre-Retcon Vriska, who died at 6 Sweeps, or 13 Years. Likewise, most of the characters targeted by the 3 offending Alpha Trolls were also people who died at 13 Years - Aradiabot (Rufioh), Tavros (Cronus), and Eridan (Cronus again - cool Incest bro!).

Child Predation is a running theme in Homestuck. The foul conduct of the Alpha Trolls exhibit towards some of the Beta Trolls - Cronus, Meenah, and Rufioh in particular having preyed on 3, 2, and 1 minor(s) respectively and specifically - is simply another follow up on that. We see it with Bro Strider, who abused and neglected Dave so badly that Dave was constantly exposed to and involved in Fetish Pornography, we see it in Doc Scratch, who is directly called out as having a thing for young girls several times and was literally keeping a young girl as a slave, we see it in the Alpha Trolls. It is everywhere. It isn't meant to be looked away from for the sake of memes. The fact that those college age adults are creeping on literal middle schoolers is thematically relevant, and very in your face.

So, like, yes, the Alpha Trolls are still teenagers, but these are the oldest possible teenagers targeting the youngest possible teenagers. Again, this is College Students creeping on Middle Schoolers, and the text wants you to think this is disgusting. Because it is.

[koenigsbleachedshirt]

I JUST WANT KEEGAN TO MAKE ME FEEL SO DUMB Ik that man would be the most condescending mf and is def into dacryphilia

RAHHHHH Keegan daddy 😩😩😩😩

.....and uh, I think I went overboard.... BUT WHATEVERRRRR (this has been cooking for 3 days...)

Afab reader with neutral pronouns, power dynamics, DUBCON, mean! Dom! Keegan, dacryphilia, slapping, teasing, orgasm control, ruined orgasm, degradation (slut), creampie, pet names (bunny, little bunny)

You weren't too sure how you ended up in this... weird position, your superior pinning you against the wall in the hallway to the barracks, hand on your throat. A friend of yours had asked for some emotional support with a person he met on some site, so you were going there, but then....

"What are you doing over here at this hour? You should be aware that's against the rules, kid." He says, deep voice sending shivers down your spine. After asking, he loosens the vice like grip on your throat so you can answer.

"My friend asked me to give him some advice.... that's all, Sir." You mutter, trying to maintain eye contact. "No funny business, I promise."

Keegan taps his finger slightly against your cheek, eyes scanning your face. "I really couldn't care less, Soldier. Rules say the members are to sleep separately, and that won't change."

"I wasn't going to spend the night! An hour at mo-" Your argumentation is cut short when his grip on your throat tightens again; to shut you up. The noise you make due to the sudden interruption catches both of you by surprise, cheeks beginning to feel hot.

He loosens his grip just slightly, eyes narrowing. "In there, this instant." Keegan almost growls, roughly shoving you into the room next to where you got held up, stumbling over your feet before coming to a stop in the middle of it. He closes the door and clicks the lock shut before slowly moving towards you.

You gulp nervously when he halts in front of you, his icy eyes shooting daggers. "What were you really up to? Don't think I haven't heard of these excuses before."

Frustration overtakes your face and, against better judgment, you lose your temper. "I wasn't lying! My friend just wanted some fucking advice!"

The realization of what you've just done immediately hits you, and you shudder; body suddenly feeling ice cold. You just raised your voice against a Sargeant, AND you were disrespectful. If this doesn't get you kicked, then-

"Did you just lose face, Soldier? Dare raise your voice and lose respect?" Keegan's eyes narrow even more, grabbing your jaw and yanking your chin up to meet his eyes. "Looks like you need some disciplining. Hasn't even been that long since you came here, y/n, you were so promising..."

His grip is so tight, and it hurts. He's digging his fingers into your jaw, and all you could do was deal with it. "I- I'm sorry, Sargeant, it won't happen again." You manage to say through the pain of his grip, one eye squeezed shut due to the pain.

But he only clicks his tongue before letting you go.

.

.

.

And then came the shock.

He had just slapped you; face snapping to the side from how unexpected it was. And then he yanks your face back towards him, fingers once again painfully tightly gripping your jaw. "Crying already? How pathetic. I'm just getting started." Keegan chuckles lowly, backing you up until the back of your knees hit the bedframe.

"S- Sir, please... It won't happen again.." You mumble pitifully, a tear rolling down your cheek.

It almost feels like he cares when he gently wipes it away, but then he grabs a handful hair at the back of your head. A whimper of pain rips through the thick silence in the room, and Keegan moves so he can speak directly into your ear. "I'm going to teach you some fucking respect, Soldier."

And then you're falling backward, hitting the bed full force due to your Sargeant pushing you. You don't have time to react before he pins you down, one leg keeping both of yours separated and his hands on the sides of your head to keep him from crushing you.

Keegan feels the growing tension in his pants upon seeing how intimidated you were; so scared to upset him any further when in reality he's just toying with you. Trying to break you. Trying to claim you. He wants you to only see him. "Your safeword is cherry. I won't go easy, and I won't stop for anything unless you say it. Copy that?" Keegan explains before sitting back up to take off his helmet and throw off his heavy vest.

"C- Copy, Sir..." You reply timidly, not moving an inch. You'd be lying if you said this whole situation didn't turn you on. Your Sargeant, on which you've had a crush on ever since you joined the Ghosts, was about to do something unspeakable to you. Something you wouldn't even think of in your wildest fantasies. And you could feel your excitement making your underwear stick to your core.

Keegan chuckles, humorless and flat, before grabbing the back of your neck to pull you into a sitting position. "Let's see how much you can take before you break, kid." He mumbles, pulling down his mask and leaning down to lick a stripe up your throat, stopping just below your chin.

You scrunch up the sheets beneath your hands; too scared to touch the man in front of you without his permission. Your breathing is erratic due to the simple gesture of his tongue on your skin.

Aside from not touching him, you simply do not move at all. Just let him have his way. Even though this isn't what you wanted or even ever imagined, you're not opposed to the idea of your hot Sargeant having his way with you.

And then everything stops.

"Get up." Keegan orders, and you obey. You stand up from the bed, standing in front of him, anxiously trying to figure out what's going to happen. He sits down at the edge of the bed, legs spread slightly and just watching you. "Come over here."

You take a step closer, standing in front of where he's sitting down. And then he grabs you by the belt, making you stumble and awkwardly seat yourself on his lap. Your hands flew up to his shoulders out of reflex to catch yourself. The hand that he used to pull you in is once again on your jaw, forcing you to look into his eyes.

It's the first time you see his face; he forgot to pull his mask back up.... or he didn't care. "It's quite amusing to watch you trying so hard, you know? Not even touching me without permission... you caught on quickly. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop until all you can feel and think of is my cock."

The way he said it with that bone-chilling voice of his, and the way he smirks when your expression changes into one of plead. Keegan is enjoying this. He watches you squirm on his lap, but he's not having it.

A loud slap brings you to a stop, the burn of it tingling your thigh. "You aren't moving unless I tell you to, am I clear, bunny?" A new rush of arousal rips through you; he basically just called you a barracks bunny. "You will take what I give you and be a good fucking slut, yeah?"

"Y- Yes, Sir." You reply, voice a little shaky. "I'll be good.."

"Perfect. You learn fast, kid." He smirks again, smoothing a hand over the spot he had so painfully hit, lightly caressing it. Then he shoves both his hands under your thighs and moves to lay you down on your back once again. He makes quick work to rip off your boots, throwing them somewhere in the room.

When he stops, you don't look. All you hear is rustling and two more thumps; he must've taken off his boots as well. Keegan's fingers make contact with your belt, and you shudder, excitement buzzing through you at the thought of what's next. He opens it quickly, and your pants are next.

"You got something to say before I pull these off, bunny?" Keegan asks with a knowing look in his eyes, a slight smirk pulling at his lips once again tonight. "No, I don't think so..." You reply, and you're going to regret this.

Because you didn't catch on to what he meant. Your pants are pulled down so fast that it catches you off guard. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... I gave you a chance, and yet you didn't take it. I'll have to punish you for this, bunny."

"I- I'm sorry, Sir! I... I didn't catch on to what you-" You desperately try to explain yourself, but your words get stuck in your throat when Keegan shoves your panties aside and stuffs two of his thick, long fingers into your sopping cunt. It rips a squeal, followed by a high-pitched moan from you, and your legs try to close on instinct, but he's not having it.

"Keep your fucking legs open, slut." Keegan orders, and you try so hard not to moan again.

His fingers move at an agonizingly slow pace, and you're embarrassed by the wet sounds that follow. "Fucking hell, you're soaked to the bone. You sure are enjoying this, little bunny."

You are enjoying this, and you're fucking embarrassed about it. Because the way Keegan speaks to you so condescendingly, with the premise of disciplining you as your superior - someone you look up to and learn from.

Keegan noticed your thoughts wandering, but he didn't pay it any mind. It's not like you'd be able to stay spaced out once he finds your pleasure button. His fingers move so smoothly and calculated, that he finds it a few seconds later.

Your back arches at the new and overwhelming rush of pleasure once Keegan's fingers carress your g-spot. An almost pornographic moan escapes you, and you tear up. This is all too much for you, but you can't bring yourself to move away. The pleasure is overwhelming you.

"Damn bunny, you're clenching so hard. You're enjoying this a little too much for this to be a punishment for breaking the rules." Keegan muses, suddenly speeding up his thrusting, and you squeal.

And then his fingers are gone. You were about to cum, but he stopped. You try to catch your breath while looking up at him. Keegan grabs you by the shirt collar and pulls you into a sitting position. "Open your mouth."

You oblige without hesitation, meeting his eyes. He smirks devilishly before shoving the same fingers he had just buried in your pussy into your mouth. The taste is foreign, but you won't dare to piss him off, so you close your lips around his digits and work your tongue around them, cleaning your slick off his fingers.

"Didn't even have to tell you what to do, huh? You're so fucking dirty." He says, a dark chuckle ripping through his chest. Keegan takes his fingers out of your mouth and lazily wipes them on his shirt before manhandling you onto your stomach and pulling your ass up. "I'm going to fucking ruin your cute little pussy, you won't be able to tell left from right and top from bottom after I'm done."

You listen closely as he unzips his pants and pulls out his cock. He teases you by casually rubbing it against your pussy, making your eyes roll back at the delicious feeling.

He teases you by just dipping the tip in before pulling back to simply slide it up and down your slit. It pulls a whimper from you, cunt still sensitive from when he denied your first orgasm.

But Keegan doesn't stop; no, he does it again and again. Putting in just the tip, basically fucking you with nothing. And you hate that it's working because you feel a new orgasm building up. "P- Please.... no more teasing..." You whimper when he teases you by rubbing his dick along your clit.

"This is a punishment, you don't get to make demands, slut." Keegan states and chuckles darkly. "I'm just getting started."

And then you squeal and whine into the pillow when you feel his thick cock bully its way into your cunt, the stretch so delicious it has your eyes rolling back a little too far. His hips are flush against your ass and Keegan groans deep in his throat before landing a loud slap against your ass, kneading the flesh right after.

You barely adjust to his size before he starts viciously fucking into you from behind. Smacking noises echoing around the quiet room, his hips repeatedly making contact with your ass, and his balls hitting your clit so good. "F- Fuuuuck..!!" You moan into the pillow and fist the sheets by your face, tears gathering in your eyes at the slight twinge of pain because he keeps hitting your cervix. "I- Is so gooooood..."

Keegan grunts in reply before gathering your wrists and pinning them to your back,holding onto them for a better grip. He knows you're getting close by how much you're clenching on his cock and he stops his thrusts completely. A frustrated cry leaves your lips at the oncoming orgasm once again fading away. Keegan watches as you sob into the pillow, and he yanks you up, still balls deep inside of you.

"Aww.. crying doesn't get you anywhere, bunny. It only makes me wanna make it worse." He rasps into your ear before leaning over to flick his tongue over cheek, catching your tears and chuckling. "C'mon, beg for it. Convince me to let you cum, Soldier."

You fall back down into the pillow face first, your hands still held together behind your back and try to catch your breath. "P- Please Sir.... please let me cum..."

He thrusts extra hard, literally knocking the air out of your lungs. "I can't hear you, speak up." Keegan orders you before resuming his unforgiving pace of hard and fast thrusts.

"I... Please! Please let me cum!" You almost scream, repeating yourself. And you almost think Keegan takes mercy on you when his hand moves to rub your clit, making another high approach embarrassingly fast.

And just as you're about to tip over the edge, he pinches down on the bundle of nerves, completely ruining it for you. Because you do cum, but you don't get to ride it out. You're so desperate for friction you try to fuck yourself on his cock, but his hold is unrelenting and you can't. You thrash around beneath him, more tears falling from your eyes at how he ruined your high.

"Y- You're.. so- so mean..!" You pitifully sob, hiccups shaking your entire body. He doesn't feel too bad though; you had been given a safeword, and you didn't use it.

"Well, did you learn your lesson now, little bunny?" Keegan asks and suddenly starts fucking into again at a brutal pace, chasing his own high. He's going to leave you broken and frustrated. "You had been given a warning after all."

The noises you make are a messy mix of sobs and whimpers as he continues to abuse your sensitive pussy for his own pleasure; but you don't have the headspace to worry about it any longer. You've basically zoned out, only coming back to yourself when his thrusts become irregular and frantic.

"I'm gonna mark your slutty little cunt so good..." Keegan groans before he reaches his own high, his cum filling you up to the brim. Your eyes roll back for the nth time that night and then he pulls out.

It feels empty and weird, his sperm leaking out of your abused hole. You lay there on the bed, legs twitching and completely fucked out, unable to form a single coherent thought.

Keegan simply moves you to lay on your back and proceeds to dress you back in your underwear and pants, your shoes coming on last. His cum seeps out into your panties and it feels so weird, but you can't do anything, about to pass out due to the exertion this whole ordeal has put on your body.

He watches your eyes flutter closed and chuckles to himself. "Time to get you back to your room, kid." Keegan says as he picks you up effortlessly and carries you back to where you came from, pleased with how everything turned out.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

I’m not super familiar with TSATS (have only heard secondhand things about why it sucks) but would you be willing to speak about the issues you have with it?

I'll try to keep this relatively short (future Alder: HA) and to the point, because, well...there's a lot of ground to cover. If I missed anything, or if anybody else wants to add on their own grievances, consider this your ready-made platform!

Also, if you did like TSATS, this is your warning to scroll. I respect your opinion, and simply ask you to respect mine.

In no particular order (and as they come to mind-)

Hades sends Nico to Tartarus

This makes ZERO sense because Hades was the one to BAN Nico in the first place. Furthermore, he sends Nico because he, Hades, cannot just scoop Bob out of Tartarus...but then later does just that with another character. MAJOR plot hole, and a dumb one too.

this also makes Hades the WORST godly parent btw. at least Zeus didn't send Apollo to superhell.

that moment when you're an even worse parent than Zeus...a canonical abuser...

2. Where Are The Campers

For SOME ODD REASON Nico and Will are the ONLY demigods at CHB. Only ones. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that they are the ONLY year-round campers, especially since this directly contradicts- you know, already-established canon. Austin and Kayla are both year-round campers. Damien White and Chiara Benvenuti. Billie Ng. Miranda Gardner and Sherman Yang. Harley. Cecil Markowitz. They are all year-round campers, and have been established as such since The Hidden Oracle.

There is NO WAY they ALL suddenly decided to be summer campers.

Not to mention...with some focus on Will, you'd think we'd get some attention- even a bit! - towards his siblings, right?

NOPE. AUSTIN AND KAYLA ARE OUT OF THE PICTURE RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

oh and the three newest Apollo kids- Jerry, Gracie, and Yan- just don't exist I guess. rip the new kids because THEY ARE NEVER BROUGHT UP.

3. The Tone & Pacing

Look. I know TSATS is aimed towards mainly middle schoolers. But so is the rest of the RRverse.

And you know what TSATS does that the rest of them don't?

It treats the reader in a condescending manner.

Or at least, that's what I felt. When I was reading, I got to the part where we meet the god of nightmares, and then we're suddenly hit with a PSA on gender identity and I was like "...okay. there's no need to shove it down our throats. you could have just had them correct Nico and Will without giving everyone a lecture. especially since GODS WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GENDER IN THE FIRST PLACE." <- Canon! See Apollo's return to Olympus in Tower of Nero! He says mortals have strange conceptions of gender! It's fucking canon.

There was no need for that PSA. There are much more natural ways of incorporating LGBTQ+ identities than constantly talking down to the reader. Children are not dumb. They do not need LGBTQ+ topics dumbed down to understand them. I was 12 when I first read House of Hades, and after a bit of brain buffering because I wasn't exposed to much LGBTQ+ things, I understood that Nico liked guys and not girls. I understood he was gay.

And there was no PSA needed for me to understand that. Just as there was none needed during the entire series of Trials of Apollo, narrated by our first bisexual protagonist, Apollo. The only time where it could get PSA-y is when Apollo breaks the fourth wall for a split-second to essentially tell homophobes to fuck off.

Something along the lines of- "What's that? Oh, are you wondering if I'm okay with my son dating a dude instead of a girl? HA! Of course I am lol do you know who I am."

And that's that. also solangelo fic writers who make apollo homophobic...you best stay away from me, okay? okay. i know you exist.

Magnus Chase introduces Alex Fierro without getting preachy about genderfluid or trans people. because guess what! THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE.

Plus- the RRverse books are fun reads for adults too. I'm able to reread just about any book ('just about' because of tsats now...) without feeling like I'm being treated like a 5 year old.

which was what reading tsats was like tbqh.

As for the pacing? It's. So. Slow.

tsats has 60 chapters.

HOW COME HALFWAY THROUGH - AND I COUNTED BTW - WE AREN'T EVEN IN TARTARUS?

in the words of a mutual- "I shouldn't be rooting for the gays to go to Hell already."

by this point in a normal RRverse book, we'd already be on the road, had a few near-death experiences, perhaps some actual death, character bonding and growth, ect ect.

Instead we get...whatever happened in the first half. so unimportant that i honestly don't care to remember.

but i will for this post and that will be that.

4. UwU Nico & Cardboard Will

If I haven't already pissed off the stans...I am going to now.

So. Many. Times.

So many times Nico is treated like the poorest, most tragic uwu emo boi who has suffered more than anyone else. and it's done in a very off-putting and rather irritating way.

not to mention, Will suffers as a result. He didn't feel like a person in tsats. Instead of building up a character for him, everything falls flat.

Example? Will admits he feels guilty over killing Octavian. Great! Perfect time for a character moment! Dealing with trauma-guilt! How has this affected him?

What we get? Nothing. It's not treated as any sort of trauma, and that becomes a trend in this book with Will.

Apparently, Will has not suffered. Not like Nico, the poorest of meow meows. Will has no trauma. Yes, even after fighting through two wars and stressing out over the possibility of losing his father (who he loves and adores very much) for good, Will is trauma free!! He knows nothing of suffering!! Yes, the majority of his siblings were ruthlessly slaughtered, going from 20 to 3 campers by the time of ToA, but no!! Will has no trauma!! because he's sunshine hot therapy boyfriend!!

This Will does NOT feel like the Will we met in Blood of Olympus, or like the Will in ToA. These Wills are stubborn and kind, fiercely loyal to their father, and most importantly, feels like a human being.

Which brings me to my next point...

5. The Apollo Conundrum

A couple things to say here.

Will keeps acting like he hasn't seen Apollo in forever. That he never came back after going after Python.

A complete, blatant, lie because Apollo did come back after going after Python! He was there when the fucking tsats prophecy was made in the first place!

Did Mark even read ToA. At all.

One good thing came of this, I guess. At least Apollo wasn't character assassinated, even if you could argue he was anyway because he never shows up.

A direct contradiction to where we left off in ToA.

FURTHER. you know what infuriates me?

Apollo's arc about being able to change, no matter what you've done in the past or who you are, is shoved onto Nico in a very half-assed manner.

That pissed me off. Nico did not NEED such an arc. He is VERY MUCH ACCEPTED AT CAMP. WE HAVE PROOF BECAUSE THE ORACLE OF DELPHI WAS ABLE TO MOVE ON TO RACHEL.

pardon me i need to scream.

FUCK

okay. i'm good.

...for now.

6. The 'Coming Out' Scene

oh my lord and savior jesus christ this GOT ON MY NERVES.

so on paper, sounds good right? solangelo comes out to CHB, in a positive, welcoming environment! very nice!

...EXCEPT THEY ARE ALREADY OUT AND IN A RELATIONSHIP IN TOA. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THIS AT ALL.

not to mention just how utterly ridiculous it's handled. apparently, solangelo inspired other campers to come out- a good thing- but...

this is so laughably dumb because there is NO WAY the campers aren't all cool with the LGBTQ+ community.

wanna know why?

BECAUSE THEY CAN HAVE SAME-SEX PARENTS. HELLO KAYLA, THE OG MPREG DAUGHTER

you're gonna tell me that CHB is NOT an open environment for LGBTQ+ kids? that they did NOT normalize it? really? are you really gonna tell me that? you're gonna look me in the eyes and say that?

"but sometimes it's hard to come out even in a welcoming environment!" yeah you're right there. it can be hard to do that. and i would know. because i have done just that. was shaking in my boots when i told my mom and stepdad that i was queer. despite knowing they were both supportive of queer rights.

and yet i'm saying this anyway. IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR CHB TO NOT BE AN OPEN LGBTQ+ ENVIRONMENT. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHO THEIR PARENTS ARE, AND THE FACT THEY CAN HAVE SAME-SEX PARENTS.

Nico was barely at camp pre-ToA. I can totally buy him not knowing CHB is pro-queer because of how little time he spent there.

BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT HE IS AT CHB FROM BOO TO THO, AND IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH WILL BY THO. ONE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT.

and yet...tsats thinks it's a GRAND IDEA to do this coming out scene.

again. DID MARK EVEN READ TOA?

you know what else ticks me off about this? it's that Will is made to come out...by Nico.

you know. Nico. the one that the fandom flipped out over because he was made to come out. by Cupid. who is vilified for it.

and yet. it's treated by the narrative as the Right and Good thing for Nico to do. because Nico is Always Right and Good and Knows What's Best For Will.

it drove me up the wall.

also personally i'm not a fan of bisexual will. it's used too often as a 'will cheats on nico' thing in fics, so i was already disillusioned to it, and in tsats it's really only there for will to briefly thirst over persephone for some odd reason. let us have a gay4gay couple please i am begging you. but that's a personal opinion and i get it if you like bi will. that's just my thoughts.

7. The Bob Thing

this is something that's been on my mind ever since i first heard of tsats.

Is rescuing Bob even necessary? Like...okay, from a worldbuilding perspective...what does he add? Or was all this just fanservice done to 'save' a character who, by all rights and purposes, should be double dead. worse than dead. nonexistent.

like. first of all...how did Bob end up trapped by Nyx, when he was fighting Tartarus? Tartarus who, btw, is able to disintegrate you and cause you to cease to exist. Which is what- canonically! - happens to Damasen.

I guess Bob is different? But...so is Damasen. Since they are fundamentality different from their respective brethren...shouldn't they both have been safe from Tartarus's power? And not just Bob?

Look. I like Bob. I was so sad when we lost him in HoH. But honestly?

I think bringing him back cheapens his & Damasen's sacrifice.

Not to mention...I vividly remember earlier in the book, Nico for some reason takes a pot-shot at Percabeth, assuming that they wouldn't care about Bob.

Like. Hello?? That pissed me off too because it's such a gross misjudgment of both Percy and Annabeth that I had to take a few minutes to cool off before continuing the incoming shitshow.

8. Will's Powers

another hot take alert.

I don't subscribe to Plague!Will. Fun headcanon, have read fics with it (subscribed to a really good one too, in fact), but not something I would accept as canon.

even if tsats "made it canon" (BIG quotations there)

here's the thing. Will doesn't need a Cool power to be useful. He has healing and light. Defensive abilities, good for a healer! Which is what he wants to be!

there's no need to give him an offensive ability. he managed perfectly fine without plague powers before this.

(coughs in "Nobody hits my boyfriend and nobody kills my dad!")

This also ties back into the whole 'Will doesn't have much of a character' thing. like okay, we've introduced this new ability! cool! it's a dangerous one, and the exact opposite of everything Will is. do we explore that? do we do anything worthwhile with it? perhaps we could take this as an opportunity for some father-son discussion?

Nope!

also for some reason Will can grow the Curse of Delos flowers by singing. something he has previously been established to not be very good at as far back as BoO- "I'm just a healer" and all that.

also also. that's not how the Curse of Delos works...they only grow on Delos, and around Cabin 7. no where else. magically growing flowers isn't even an Apollo kid power, and yes the Curse is Apollo's flower but that means nothing because Apollo kids don't grow flowers. that's Demeter.

sobs in so many contradictions

9. The...Cocopuffs.

groans dramatically.

first thing's first- What The Actual Fuck.

It's emphasized that the cocopuffs are Nico and Nyx's children.

Children Nico did not want.

Guys this is literally rape. This is literally rape why is it treated as a good thing??

i'm chill with them being manifestations of Nico's trauma. i'm NOT chill with this!! Or with Nico's trauma apparently being magically cured because of them, when he's, you know, our only character who canonically goes to therapy?

it feels like the help therapy can give is cheapened here.

plus...the Cacodemons (as they are actually called) are not good demons in the mythology. they are not good. at all. they are specifically evil spirits, and personally, I don't like the connotation that trauma correlates to them.

a better choice would have been a daimon, a neutral spirit. something that just Is and isn't bogged down by definitions of "evil" and "good".

also this is literally rape :) get it away from me.

10. The Retcons/Continuity Mistakes

Bianca Is Not Nico's Mom Get Your Damn Facts Right How Could You Make That Mistake It's So Dumb Like Oh My God Did You Even Do Any Reading For This-

ahem.

I will give tsats ONE point. The ONE THING I think it did right.

i know. shocking. Alder giving tsats one (1) W.

Will's mortal anchor when he fell into the River Styx.

It was Apollo. That is something I can definitely buy as canon. Will's love for Apollo is ever-present in BoO and ToA. That makes total sense for him!

(Plus, I'm glad they didn't make it Nico. cause like...come on. we already have romance with Percy & Annabeth, and we also have siblinghood with Apollo & Meg, parent & child would be the next, very cool and logical step!)

Too bad Apollo is shunted to the side in tsats and we never get to see him with Will... (oh, except in that one nightmare-induced hallucination. but that doesn't count because that's not actually Apollo. strike against you tsats.)

this is all i got. definitely not exhaustive list because i am NOT subjecting myself to reading tsats again. i will not be losing more braincells.

anywho, if anybody would like to add on their own grievances with this book, go ahead! i probs missed some.

and again. these are just my opinions/observations. this is NOT an invitation for discourse.

[kittynugg]

haha yeah that's just average tumblr user exaggeration we do it all the ti-

*lacrimosa plays like the part where the meme is*

you werent kidding.

YOU WERENT KIDDING

okay so i've learned not to underestimate you leene ( @empressofsamoyeds )

lot of answers under the cut HHAQHKH

this is a fun one! okay so back in my glory days before the horrors (11-13 years old) i used to.. not know ao3 existed! i'd get my reading in on fanfiction.net reading exclusively the detroit: become human works of waywardwonder (also on ao3). this person was/is incredibly talented and writes novel-length fics so if you like dbh you'll probably like them because i FUCKING loved this person.

this person's works were incredibly inspiring to me, i wanted to write dbh fics of my own which i never ended up doing beside a draft i wrote directly on ao3 and gave up on and deleted because i didnt know what rich text OR html was

my NEXT shot at fanfiction i believe i wrote in either microsoft word or on grammarly when i was thirteen, i asked my like 16 year old friend at the time to beta read and they said it looked like something they'd write in middle school and regret in highschool and they were right

sooooooooooo i gave up again

then came a certain show by a certain zoophile who i had no fucking idea about at the time btw that was uh. a shocker. but i. had. HEADCANONS. al*stor was my SON. i gave him a backstory, a cute nickname, a wip i didnt finish..

and then i stopped caring about hazbin hotel because BAM INVADER ZIM BABY LOOK AT THAT LITTLE GUY GO LOOK AT THAT CHILD TRY TO DISSECT HIM i wrote SO MUCH and it was ALL uh

IT WAS ALL TERRIBLE

but this time i didnt give up! my friends encouraged and uplifted me and i discovered looking up "writing tips" on pinterest and i just kept getting better and now i regret writing that dbh fic.

okay so woefully the emoji does not work BUUUUUT I HAVE THE POWER OF THE INTERNET

roller skate

roller skate?

alright whatever. this is for the next chapter of a little dilemma which you should totally read guys. ����👦🎠🖐👆 its pretty poorly done not very descriptive (THE EMOJIS NOT THE FIC I SWEAR!!) but im a dumb idiot sorry

why is that a roller ska-

OOH!! IOPIOH OOOH!

okay so this first one is a camp camp fic, in which david adopts max because that is the standard for camp camp fics, it's called Love Like You and it is my ALL-TIME FAVORITE. I LOVE IT

this right here, Can't Sleep (And it's Not Because I'm Touch-Starved) almost ties it despite being a oneshot. this is just a fic of ford being in denial about wanting to cuddle its beautiful its my comfort fic. in fact thats my all-time favorite oneshot and love like you is my all-time favorite multi-chapter

and finally, Oh, brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin. it is a series of sickfics that isnt complete yet and you should pleaaseeee read it? please? i love it its stan and ford-centric and its so cute

i usually dont have any but rn i haveeeeeeeeeee seven, two were from roblox and the other five were from ao3

uhhh hmmm

i used to LOVE hello kitty when i was younger, i was a girl when i was younger if that explains it. i've had this old beat up greyed plushie of her for over ten years now i think? she is in my shelf of things that make me happy and when i finally get my gf shit its going to join her

PURELY writer's block. i belieeeeve the source is boredom or understimulation but i've found that when i just dont work on what i should be working on and start a whole new fic instead i can write like over 1,000 words in one day EASILY but otherwise i struggle to write over 500

okay so i do not ship, this is not even a pairing because stan and ford are canonically brothers but here is my headcanon

in ohbrotherwegodeeperthantheinkbeneaththeskin (goddamn its a long name its linked above) ford is mentioned to have a lamb plushie, and i played cult of the lamb with my brother as the goat so i hc that stan and ford had matching lamb and goat plushies as kids. stan lost his somewhere in the house and ford brought his with him to college, it sat in a box until after the show's events when stan revealed to their mother that "..hey ma.. it might seem crazy what im bout to say" and tells her about ford and both her favorite sons are alive and blah blah

and she HURRIES over to visit them and brings stan's old goat plushie she found somewhere ages ago and kept in good condition as something to remember her baby by

so the twins and their childhood plushies were reunited, and ford named them lambert and goatfrey after some lame shit (my headcanon names for the lamb and goat in cotl 🥺)

here's some art i did and sent to someone on anon so if you've seen this before you probably have but im not stealing it hffhuk dont hurt me

they cherish them

...

*cough*

*cricket sound effe-

no no alright three good things -my birthday is in ten days -i found out which store sells the teabags i used to drink in america (black tea obv hifuhukfh THEY BARELY SELL IT HERE) and im currently drinking iced tea -starting to believe that people actually like my writing

i do not use my notes app i used you as my notes app last night to remind myself to think of ideas for stan and mabel bonding (btw i failed) but the latest thing in my stupid opera flow thing wont let me open flow okay thanks opera. im sure its something about stan and ford

i believe ice machines is up there, also how much water could fill an adult's lungs. i dont thik it was for water i think i was just trying not to get put on any lists

if you feel like having a freakout or reaching for a bad coping mechanism, draw something instead! this has saved me from relapsing multiple times

i dont particularly have a dream-fic but i'd like rubyflakes to write more about stan and ford platonically cuddling

my solution is to get inspired by something else and forget about the first thing and make insane progress on the second thing in one day and feel like you did nothing despite all you did with the second thing because you didnt work on the first thing. it works wonders on the second thing

fucking spiders georg man that man is crazy

i get fucking giddy at any comments but the two types that make me the happiest are specific compliments on parts that they liked (leene i love you/p) or "UHFUHVKFVKHU I LOVED THIS SO MUCH IRHFKHFHJFVJF" (my type of comment that is how i comment)

bill bILL THAT FUCKING--

okay so when he's not being shipped with ford he's an objectively good character. i hate him a lot. -they do a good job at making a *cough* irredeemable villain. genuinely the shit bill does is wholly unforgivable. i do not give a fuck what happened to him i have no sympathy -hes silly!! okay so i do despise him but he is FUNNY at times, gotta give him credit where credit's due -he's rotting in therapy and i hope he stays there 😊😊

..ford

no not really

what the fuck who are you

i hve been scratching my neck like a crackhead waiting to open the birthday gift my friend sent me for five days now. ten more days

i hope that answers your question

you bastard making me work on MY writing/j

okay ehre you are its fir a little dilemma its 100 words they're playing on a see-saw :>

“I knew I could count on you!” Mabel chirped, grinning from ear to ear. She took Ford’s still frustratingly-tiny hand and pulled him toward the see-saw. 

Naturally, Ford climbed on like he had the first time, and gripped the railing tightly with one hand as he pushed off the ground and was lifted into the air. Such a simple action.. and yet it was more fun than he had on a daily basis as an adult. Even the second time! It just didn’t get old! “Whoo!” He cheered, reaching a hand toward the sky that cast a long shadow against the ground.

my brother's username was ___nugg idk if he wants me to share it but i like kitties so i went kittynugg. i hate it so much

this fucking idiot

he stinks

okay so i CANT ATTACH ANHY MORE IMAGES so im gonna continue in another post (future connor here, here's part two!)

[glassheart520]

My long rant about my first time touching CV after 10 years: long paragraphs incoming!!!

Just started replaying curious village and omg how does this game actually manage to be so eerie and creepy in a subtle way. The sceneries of st. mystere just feel so empty and dilapidated in some way with their early graphics quality, including the puzzle interface and everything (the limited memo function is driving me crazy btw) And on top of that, layton's front facing sprite just staring directly at you is kind of unsettling. And needless to say ramon's face still scares me. 😭

The puzzle clear screen from CV just seems so empty and bleak compared to the other games, and also I've noticed once you submit an answer, the music slowly fades away instead of just stopping, which makes it even more nerve wrecking 😭

I never had replayed CV ever since I first finished it 10 years ago. One of the biggest reasons why I love playing this series is its beautiful scenery and peaceful atmosphere, and the vibe of CV is the complete opposite of that. That meant there wasn't really a need for me to replay it like the other games, and even now, I'm just doing it just to get more lore from the series.

My first encounter with CV was actually around 14 years ago, but 9 year old me was too dumb to proceed far enough into the game lol (and I had no more access to the game after not too long since the DS wasn't mine). It wasn't until 2014 when I remembered about the game and got the chance to finish it.

Maybe the reason why CV feels more uneasy for me could be because everything in that game is now a blurry memory for me, like a dream you had as a kid. Solving the first few puzzles was fun though, remembering each puzzle and how I solved it as a little kid. And I'm looking so much forward to do the Inn minigame! Really loved it sm as a child, it felt like playing a cute dress up game except it's furniture.

Rn i'm still in the middle of chapter 2, this time it'll take a while for me to finish the game since I also got work, but I hope I'll come back to write another update once I progress more into the game!

[plutobutartsy]

i was actually just joking about vega and gavin being divorced with shared custody over caelum but i got a bit too silly and now it's just an actual au i have so uhhhh here are some thoughts

first off, unempowered/no magic au + no angst only fun bc caelum deserves it (and so do i)

i think gavin and vega only got divorced because after moving in with each other they noticed each other's annoying habits and just went "fuck no, i can't live with this guy forever"

nothing major just like,,

gavin taking REALLY long showers until all the hot water is gone

vega putting his dirty dishes in the sink instead of directly into the dishwasher

stuff like that

they both just got hit with a magnitude 8 ick on the richter scale and because they're both petty and dramatic they decided living seperately wasn't enough so they just HAD to get a divorce

so technically they're not on bad terms but again, they're just really petty so they bicker a lot and bring up dumb shit the other did for no reason other than to be annoying

they keep the fighting at a minimum in front of caelum (even though it's not really serious)

but once caelum is out of the room?? oh boy

they're 100% the type to kick each other under the table

they also definitely try to one up each other

constant debates on who the favourite is

@super-trouper-lights suggested freelancer as daycare worker but i think caelum is a bit older so they're his grade school teacher :)

they have an enormous amount of drawings the kids made them and caelum is deffo the one who makes the most

they try to hang all of the drawingd up in the classroom but once they run out of space they take some older ones down to keep them safe in a binder (more like multiple binders lol)

some of their older coworkers look down on them because they're very gentle with the kids, they think freelancer isn't strict enough

jokes on them because freelancer is amazing at their job and all the kids love them

both vega and gavin make time to go to the parent teacher conferences together and gavin is lowkey salty about it because he wants to spend time alone with freelancer

that's why he does a lot of volunteering to help with school events and such

one time he spent a month perfecting his brownie recipe for their bake sale with the sole intention of making something freelancer might enjoy

only for him to find out that they were allergic to nuts and couldn't have any

he was devastated

vega found out because caelum told him and laughed at gavin for a solid 10 minutes

pet works at the local arts and crafts store that caelum insists on going to like once a week at LEAST

after vega met the for the first time he kept finding excuses to go back there, to the point where he had to convince caelum that no, he doesn't have enough glitter and yes, they have to go to the store right NOW

after a month he finally asked them to have coffee with him and they said yes

they started officially dating a few weeks after that <3

and YES vega definitely brags to gavin about being with pet while gavin hasn't even asked freelancer out yet

gavin's main concern is not wanting to make freelancer uncomfortable or to cross any boundaries or god forbid get them into trouble for dating a student's parent

so he is resolved to wait until caelum moves on to middle school (he's slowly going insane)

freelancer actually developed feelings for him as well after spending so much time with him organizing school events but they want to keep it professional and they're afraid they might misread gavin's kindness and passion as him being interested in them

"he's just a really dedicated parent i can't believe i'm making this about myself :("

freelancer and gavin truly are peak idiots to lovers

also, freelancer gets all their supplies for the class from the same store pet works at so they know each other and have gotten quite close over time :)

while freelancer is decent at arts and crafts, they're definitely not good at it (they're the teacher that prefaces every drawing they show in class with "now i'm no ARTIST")

pet on the other hand is really good at all artsy things

name a medium and they're good at it i gurantee it

so naturally caelum is amazed by them and always wants them to show him how to make certain things

vega always just wants to watch but pet and caelum talk him into joining them and he literally sucks at most of it lol

the only thing he's good at when it comes to art is folding paper boats and airplanes

pet also makes their own jewellery

at this point they made so much for vega that he pretty much exclusively wears stuff they made

ofc caelum also gets his own jewellery

he makes them friendship bracelets in return

they have a ton of them and wear a different one every day

this is a lot longer than i intended so i'll wrap it up here but if anyone has any thoughts on this please share :D

psst there's a part 2 now 👀

[summ6rbummer]

patrick hocksetter x female bully victim

ASKFJSKDJHSLA BLESS YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING TO WRITE ILY (PSA) if you like any of my work, pls pls pls request something!! i love writing these!

okay i got this in the bag. im not gonna use a lot of descriptive terms for the girl in this because i didnt get a lot of input WHICH is not a problem but i dont wanna make this unfit for the requester (or anyone frls) anywayss basically the reader in this is has been targeted for quite a few years, starting in elementary with bowers and hocksetter, then in middle school with huggins and criss. i also wasnt sure if this was supposed to be a ship or romantic or not butt im making it a little bit. but not a lot. im gonna js start writing now i hope you enjoy!! also this might be a little long.

little one

patrick hocksetter x female! bully victim

(first person)

tw! stalking - lowkey sexual harassment - mentions of suicide-

first day of 5th grade, stepper elementary school derry Maine. my mom had picked an outfit for my first day, a pair of overalls and a little striped short sleeve with my boots and some ponytails. thinking back, that was an adorable outfit. yet the way i remember feeling when they ruined it was not.

i had that class with dumb and dumber themselves, patrick hocksetter and henry bowers. i didn't know much about them at the time, considering that 5th grade was the first year i had a class with either of them. id heard rumors about henry and some boys he was friends with being huge bullies and to steer clear of them, so when i walked into that classroom on the first day and saw them sitting in the back corner, warning signs flashed in my peripherals.

id always been an anxious kid, hell my parents bothered me about it every chance they could get. anyways, i was already having stomach quivers about starting school, and now i was in the same class as them. of course, as i was trying to lay low, the teacher decided to put me at the table in front of them. i could just feel the terrible intent radiating off of the boys behind me, through the icebreaker games, through math, reading, science, and even recess. recess was where i met my best friend, Emma. she was in the other fifth grade class, with the other two boys, reggie and victor? i think that was his name. she told me all about the things people say about the group.

especially patrick. they say he killed his younger brother with a pillow when he was five. im still shocked to this day about that. but i remember going back to class after that and feeling oddly cold sitting down in front of that boy. throughout the rest of class, i was slowly preparing myself to ask the teacher to move my seat. so when the dismissal bell rang, i waited for the rest of the students to leave, including patrick and henry, to go to the teacher and tug on her sleeve to ask her to move my seat.

the next day, she sat me across the room, next to a boy named jonathan. i was feeling much better about that class, until about halfway through lunch. i was sitting with Emma and Jonathan, chatting about our highscores in dig dug. out of nowhere, it got extremely quiet in the lunchroom. i stopped talking and carefully looked around, before realizing everyone was looking at our table. my blood ran cold as i realized Emma was staring at something directly behind me, dead eyes and mouth agape.

slowly i turned around, only to be met eye to eye by patrick hocksetter. he had a sca smile on holding a balloon filled with something and a thumbtack. before i could even ask what he wanted, he stabbed the balloon directly above my head, letting bright blue liquid splash over my hair, and down my face and clothes. he erupted into laughter, followed by the rest of the boys, followed by scattered giggles across the lunchroom. i coughed in shock, blinking, before the burning sensation set into my eyes. i started crying, and my throat was closing at the smell and my coughing. through my blue blurred eyes, i stumbled up, shoved through the four boys and the rest of the laughing lunchroom and ran out to the bathroom. before i could even make it there, a hand grabbed the back of my shirt.

henry had pulled me out of the bathroom doorway, and now i was surrounded by the boys.

'hopefully that'll teach your stupid fucking girl brain not to snitch to the teacher about us." i heard a voice sneer at me. i rubbed my eyes and watched through blurry vision as they turned and started walking back to the lunchroom. "but we aren't done with you SNITCH" i heard henry yell as i carefully stumbled into the bathroom.

and they decided they weren't done with me. not for the rest of the year, not for the year of 6th grade, or 7th grade, or 8th, or oven freshman year. and each year they got more and more creative. it evolved from shoving me on the playground, to snipping off pieces of my hair when i wasn't paying attention, then when i hit puberty, showing off my bled-through gym shorts, catcalling me in the hallways, and snapping my bra straps. leaving threatening notes in my locker, as well as dead flies, yknow, the usual.

eventually, i got used to the humiliation, but i was extremely surprised that it all came from me just asking to move my seat in fifth grade.

now its sophomore year, and its gotten worse yet better. im only really targeted by patrick and henry, the other two are really just in for the ride. belch, as they call him, is actually kinda nice to me. we have social studies together. i let him borrow a pencil one time and give him homework answers and in return, he kinda started being nice to me. patrick on the other hand was treating me exactly the same. stalking me through the hallways, following me home, leaving me threatening notes, boring his eyes into the back of my head in class, carving his initials into my windowsill....

but it seems like hes become more obsessed than hateful. one time i found a list of my backpack contents inside my pocket. and half the time i dont even know how he finds out some things. its kinda scary. whos fucking kidding its terrifying. and im so fucking tired of it.

he terrorizes me. i sprint home everyday so he cant catch up to me. sometimes they all take belchs car and i hear the engine rapidly approaching me. all these things build up over the days and weeks, and it makes me feel like im genuinely going insane. i have panic attacks on my way to school, i flinch at people trying to hug me, i just live under the freakishly tall shadow of patrick hocksetter. i wonder how he can be so messed up when we're only fifteen.

anyways, back to present day, biology class. which i coincidentally have with both bowers and patrick. lucky me. i sat two desks up and diagonal from both of them, each on either side. it was the second to last month of school, and we were finishing our human anatomy unit.

i was zoned out, listening to the droning, buzzing sound of our teacher's voice. at the feeling of a crumpled ball of paper hitting my shoe, i came back down to earth, glancing over my shoulder at patrick, who had a grin on his face. i slowly reached down and picked up the crumpled note, opening it and reading it.

'you n me behind the school, 3;30. if youre late, pray you're fast enough to get home before i do. which you wont be. thanks little one.'

i let out a shaky sigh when i finished reading the note. then crumpled it back up and shoved a half assed thumbs up under my arm at him so i didnt have to turn around and look at his face.

my hands got clammy as people started to pack up their backpacks, and i felt myself getting a headache as the bell rang and students filed out of the school. patrick and henry sauntered past me, and patrick let his fingers slideeee across the surface of my desk.. like a warning. jesus.

i took a deep breath, preparing myself for what i had in mind about putting a stop to this shit. i held my pen in my hand, in case i needed to use it as a shank.

as i rounded the corner to the back of the school, i saw patrick leaning against a tree, twirling a stick in his fingers. i cleared my throat and anxiously kept walking towards him. he watched me walk halfway towards him, then he pushed himself off the tree and walked to stand uncomfortably close to me.

'what do you want patrick.. '

he scoffed and started walking around me. 'what do i want? well theres a lot of things i want from you.. if youre offering-' he chuckled near my ear, and i could feel him twirling a piece of my hair in his fingers.

i think that was the moment he drove me crazy. i elbowed him in the ribs and spun around, backing away. i could tell i was gonna cry, either out of anger or fear, but there were tears pooling in my eyes.

'im fucking done. what do WANT from me?? I have done NOTHING to deserve this, and yet you still humiliate me, and terrorize me every day. is this really about fifth grade?? because i feel like thats been repaid for a good four years. what do you get from this? do you get off on making my life miserable like some weird perv?? GOD hocksetter im done! im fucking finished! ill have to kill myself before you'll let me live!' i cried, pacing and screaming at him.

i stopped to catch my breath. he looked shocked for a slight second, and then his face went back its natural smirk. he paced towards me, grabbing my face with his hand, squishing my face.

'you sweet little thing. it is repaid. its been repaid for a while. you just intrigue me so much.. i couldn't possibly stop humiliating you.. you're too infatuating.' he stared at every detail of my face, almost mapping it, before he shoved my face away from his hand. he went right back to circling me again.

'yknow.. it was never really about scaring you. i mean of course i enjoyed that part, you're absolutely hilarious to terrorize.'

i almost laughed in disbelief. ive been going through this all for his shits and giggles. what the fuck is wrong with him.

'it really started wayyyy before fifth grade. it was probably around third grade that i noticed you. i think it was when you were in the school concert... i realized how much you stuck out from all the other kids you were singing with.. and i just became infatuated. i think youre real. like me.'

what the fuck is he talking about?? real? of course im real.. what is going on?

he was walking towards me again, and i stumbled a few steps back until my back hit the hot brick wall and i felt suffocated when i realized.

im afraid of you.

'i dont want to be afraid of you anymore. please. patrick please stop doing this to me.' i pleaded, willing the tears back.

he leaned in closer, if possible, pressing me against the wall. i felt him inhale against my scalp, and for a minute, i felt the wind stop blowing and the birds stop chirping, and i could only feel my heartbeat in my ears and could only smell the sweat and bodyspray that came off of him.

then he backed up, pulled his hands off my shoulders, and stepped away. "go. im not done, but you're done being terrorized."

i shuddered. praying he wasn't lying. i slowly turned my back and started walking away, when i heard him call after me.

'hey. just so you know, youre mine. so youre safe for now. but youre still mine. some things are staying the same. go home.'

i turned around again and started walking home, going over what had just happened. on repeat again and again. what did he mean? im real? of course im real..

what the fuck just happened.

ok so i think that was good.. and im done now so thank you sunshine!

-junie

[fraugwinska]

Chapter 6 - Stimulation

Stimulation (noun) 1. the act of exciting a nerve, gland, etc., to its functional activity 2. something that arouses interest, inspiration, or incitement to action Song reference to listen Along to: If you see this symbol: ♫ feel free to play "Fred Astaire - Isn't This a Lovely Day"

Tags & Warnings: none

Exhaustion and drugs had enabled you to get a deep sleep. You woke up in a mess of fluffy pillows, tangled sheets and a thick, warm duvet. The morning sun threw rays of pink light through the gaps of the curtains of the canopy bed, warming your cheeks. You blinked lazily, reached through the curtains and searched for the apple-shaped alarm clock (courtesy of Charlie) on the bedside table.

7:03 a.m.

You groaned, pushing your bangs out of your face. You hadn't slept this long in what felt like weeks. You kicked the sheets off your legs, and decided to stay on the soft, warm, comfy mattress for five more minutes.

In retrospect, the late night visit at Alastor's room left you feeling utterly embarrassed. The only reason you had even left your room so late at night was to escape the persistent, very VERY explicit sounds transpiring through the thick walls from Angels side. He didn't joke, he WAS loud, and you didn't care to know what he was doing or maybe who – much less you were telling him to quiet down. So you fled. You didn't want to explore the big and unknown hotel by yourself, that's why you strayed into the kitchen for a nightly cup of tea or a glass of water. When you found his pocket watch, you must have stopped thinking clearly. Like automatism, you pocketed it. Like automatism, you prepared that stupid cup of milk - MILK , for fucks sake, a damn kids' drink - for him, just because he had looked so fucking tired to you. And like automatism, you went to his room in the middle of the night , with said drink. What the fuck were you thinking?

You couldn't believe he didn't laugh at you outright. Or worse. As soon as that damn cup left your hand, you fell out of that trance-like moment of madness, realizing what you were just doing, and to who, and got the hell away, basically fleeing to your room.

After checking to make sure neither Ozul or one of his other shadows were in your room, you had thrown yourself into bed, closed the curtains and started to breathe. In and out. In and out. And then you gave up and took one of the pills Rosie gave you in case you needed help to fall asleep. Thank satan for these pills. But now you had to think about how to face him. How to prepare for the sure-to-come mockery, justified anger or snide back-handed comments on this... dumb lapse of judgment, this (although unintentional, still very real) infantilization. MILK! Your hands rubbed over your eyes, fingers pulling on your lower lids, and another frustrated groan left your throat. You thought about your options. You could initially apologize in private, risk to make the situation even more awkward than it already felt and probably face a tirade of ongoing punishment. Or. You could pretend nothing happened and everything was peachy. And apologize only if Alastor addressed it directly, accepting the risk that it could very well be (humiliatingly) in front of the other hotel staff.

The second one sounded slightly better to you, so that's what you were going with, organizing your thoughts and calming yourself. Yes. Ignoring would be for the best. Everything was fine. Peachy.

You convinced yourself to finally get out of bed, the apple clock just turning 7:09 a.m. You fell in your safe, familiar routine.

Make the bed. Wash up and brush teeth. Change clothes. Brush and put up hair. The clock showed 7:31 a.m. when you were finished with your loose bun. After a last glance at your vanity mirror, you quietly opened your door and peered down the hallway. Empty and silent. You closed it softly. You didn't want to wake Angel, who you didn't take to be a morning person, especially after the things you heard last night. You took more care in analyzing your surroundings as you walked to the foyer. The walls were lined with old, partially faded red wallpaper, golden accents and ornaments in a style most resembling art décor. You detected apple-symbolism everywhere, a very on-the-nose nod to Lucifer's origin story. The pictures and portraits along the walls were a wild clutter of Morningstar family pictures, depictions of famous hellscapes or major cities in hell (You stopped full of interest in front of a painting of Levitowne in the sloth ring) and clearly self-drawn motivational posters and dripping of glitter. The slogans were.... ambitious - and absolutely ridiculous. Your tail flicked in sync with your ears as you read through some of them. Your personal favorites were:

'The only thing worth killing is bad habits!'

'Say no to Drugs, say yes to Hugs!'

'You can't spell ABSOLUTION without U and I!'

Entering the kitchen, you immediately spotted the grumpy cat demon at the kitchen counter, struggling with the coffee machine and joined him.

“Good morning, Husk. I didn't take you for an early riser.”

Husk idly scratched his ear, grumbling. “Yeah well, I'm not, kid. But mah hangover is killin' me and this GOD DAMN fancy ass machine is not helping.”

An angry growl and a few good hits with his fist later, the machine looked dented and still non-functional. You calmly nudged him aside.

“Let me try. My best friend had a machine similar to this one. What do you want?”

“Fuckin' hell... Double espresso.”

“Mh.” you hummed, and took out the jammed portafilter. It was a classic Italian coffee maker, and Husk had done almost everything wrong that he could do wrong. You thoroughly cleaned the filter out, setting it aside to ground the beans properly – Husk apparently just crushed them with a rolling pin. The cat demon slumped into one of the dining chairs with a grunt, his face resting on one of his hands, and watched you. After grinding some beans, you put one and a half tablespoons of grounds into the filter and pressed it down with the tamper that sat next to the machine.

“What, you're some kind of barista now, too?” his deep, raspy voice asked.

“Nah, just picked it up. My friend from school, a total coffee-snob, came from an american-italian household, and I often made him a hangover-latte at his flat after long nights out.”

You remembered to purge the machine by running it briefly without the portafilter in place to clear the ground head. Then, you locked the portafilter into the machine, positioned an espresso mug under it, and started the shot. The machine roared to life, rumbling and fizzing, pushing dark, rich liquid into the cup.

“There you go.”

You set the finished espresso and a small glass of water in front of him, returning to the machine to clean and prepare it for another use just as Charlie, Vaggie and Alastor came through the door, Charlie chatting happily with your master, while Vaggie looked like she bit into something sour. But then again, you thought, maybe that's just her default look.

“... thought about ways to get some publicity, maybe an open house? Or a party? OH! (Y/n),”, the princess noticed you with a beaming smile, hurrying to your side, “You're already up! And already making coffee? That's so nice! I just told Al to let you sleep in today, have a stress-free first day, you know?” You prepared another coffee, this time a long black for Alastor. “That's very considerate of you, Charlie, but I'm not the type to waste good time in the morning.” You scraped up all of your courage. Ignoring was for the best. Everything's peachy. “Good morning Alastor, Vaggie.” “Morning.”, the angry girl mumbled, passing you and the others without a glance and grabbing herself a bowl and 'Sinnamon Crunch' cereal. You handed Alastor his coffee – determined to avoid direct eye contact. He seemed livelier today, his toothy grin more relaxed and eyes more awake than the days before. Maybe he did get some sleep after all.

“Why thank you, darling, and a good morning to you, too. A good cup of joey is the best way to start such a brew-tiful morning, don't you think?”

A collective groan from Vaggie and Husk joined his invisible audience who broke out in canned laughter. At least Charlie had the decency to acknowledge his joke with a half-hearted smile. The anxiety from this morning faded – it seemed like Alastor didn't mind you late-night-disturbance, or at least he wasn't showing it in front of the others. And you wouldn't miss the opportunity to get some brownie points from him, knowing that he loved corny word-puns. “Absolutely. Especially if one has a latte do.”

Charlie snorted, hand over her mouth and visibly surprised you'd join the radio demon, while Husk and Vaggie moaned even more annoyed. In contrast, Alastor practically beamed with impish glee.

“Oh, true my dear, now, hand me a pan, I'll make us some eggs-ellent breakfast!”

“Thanks a brunch.”

“Oh for the love of fucking jesus christ NO! Not you too Rocky! Bad enough that Smiles here tortures us every fuckin' morning with these stupid ass puns and now we got it in STEREO?!”, Angel whined, rubbing his eyes as he joined the group.

♫

Your ears flicked violently, but you shut up and kept making coffee per requests. A vanilla latte for Charlie (who winked at you with a cheeky smile and patted your shoulder in thanks), then a lungo for Angel (“I like em lungo, baby, remember that!”).

Next to you, over at the stove, Alastor was contently cooking scrambled eggs, bacon and french toast, humming quietly to a soft, upbeat jazz song that emitted from his microphone cane. You and him worked silently next to each other, and even though you felt him watching you out of the corner of his eyes, his static was soft and calm. Breakfast was as loud and lively as dinner the night before. Charlie resumed her chat with Alastor, who summoned his paper, reading it while he answered her questions or commented on her ideas. Apparently they - well, more Charlie than Alastor - were planning on hosting an event to promote the hotel. Husk was stuffing his face with scrambled eggs, trying his hardest to ignore Angel, who made him this mornings victim of sexual innuendos. Vaggie, lost in thought, munched on her cereal, giving her bubbling girlfriend a glance from time to time, and you were oddly surprised on how soft and loving her features could become. You were looking around the table, your french toast half-eaten, and raised a brow. The little maid from yesterday, Niffty, was nowhere to be seen. You turned to your left. You almost fell back into calling him 'sir', catching yourself instantly. Remember: Everything's peachy.

“S...orry to interrupt, but I think Niffty is missing breakfast. Should I get her?” Charlie gasped. “What? Wait... Gosh, you're right! Guys, where's Niffty?”

General shrugging across the table. “Why my dear, how about we both go look for the little darling? We can take this opportunity to show you around the hotel and it's facilities.”, Alastor promptly stood up, flicking his wirst to make both his and your dishes disappear and summoning his cane into his hands.

“Excuse us, we'll be back shortly, Charlie. Come along, kitten.” “Of course. Enjoy your breakfast, guys.” You followed him as he strutted out of the kitchen, glancing back to the table to see sceptical and bemused looks. Maybe it wasn't only you who thought Alastor was taking this as an opportunity to get away from Charlies excited monologue.

You both returned to the foyer, then your master turned to a lengthy corridor. “The ground floor is mainly occupied with community areas, kitten. This corridor leads to the library, along are strock rooms for inventory, maintenance and an 'office' that's mainly used by our dear princess.” Alastor walked along, scanning the walls and doors with a bemused smile on his lips.

“Does Niffty disappear often?”, you asked, quickening your steps to keep up with his pace.

“Oh, Niffty doesn't really disappear, darling. She tends to forget time and place when she is immersed in her cleaning duties. She takes messiness very personally.”

You checked all the rooms in the corridor, but the little maid was nowhere to be seen. The quick glimpse you took of the library left you breathless – walls and walls full of books, old and new alike were chaotically arranged along the shelves. The library had a fireplace, and there were a few emerald green club chairs splattered throughout the room, each with a little, chocolaty brown side table and a tiffany-style reading lamp (of course there were apples on them, too). You made a mental note to revisit this room to explore it more, maybe at night, when you weren't on active duty.

You returned to the foyer, now walking along the corridor on the other side. You learned that the first room to your right was a media room – which Alastor evidently loathed. You didn't even try to open the door, the way his nose wrinkled in disgust and his lips curled as he explained it had a TV Set and a small collection of CD's, video cassettes and DVD's from the overworld told you everything you needed to know. It wasn't news to you that he had a strong aversion against modern technology, he often told you in evening conversations that he found it to be a senseless distraction of the mind and an insult to intellect. Which explained his quarrells with the overlord Vox. You did miss watching old movies a bit, but you were certainly not risking his disdain for them.

The rest of the corridor was filled with communal bathrooms and the utility room. A double folding door on the back end catched your eye.

The stained glasses were different from the ones throughout the hotel – the yellowish-red apple theme was replaced with a starry night theme, blue, golds and purple glass shards were artistically arranged to paint the picture of a nights sky. You took a few steps towards it and touched the cool glass reverently. “Ah, my dear, I suspected this room would call to you. Go on, open the doors.”, Alastor teased, his voice buzzing with excited static as he placed his hand on your lower back and pushed you gently towards the door.

You surpressed the unsolicited blush this gesture initiated and pushed the doors open

As the both of you stepped through the ornate double doors, a hushed awe enveloped you as the magic of a ballroom unfolds before you. It was adorned with a rich, warm balsa wood paneling, with intricate moldings and gilded accents that harked back to a bygone era. The high ceiling was truly a masterpiece of art and craftsmanship, painted with a celestial mural depicting a vast, velvety night sky. Twinkling stars, constellations, and a mesmerizing rendition of the milky way illuminated the ceiling and created an almost ethereal canopy overhead. The walls were draped in luxurious curtains in midnight-blue velvet, trimmed with golden tinsels, creating a sense of depth and warmth and contrasted the light wood beautifully. Elegant sconces, fashioned like antique lanterns, cast a soft, golden glow, adding to the overall ambiance. Crystal chandeliers, reminiscent of celestial orbs, hung from above, reflecting the dance of the stars above. The centerpiece of the room was a grand marble dance floor, polished to perfection and bordered by a subtle, shimmering golden trim. The floor was mirrored, creating an illusion that dancers would be gliding on the surface of a tranquil lake beneath the starlit sky.

There even was a stage on one end of the room, a polished white concert piano in the middle of it. Its front facade was embellished with intricate carvings and gilded details depicting various constellations. A vintage, ornate proscenium arch framed the stage, giving it an almost theatrical look.

“This is....” Words failed you. In stark contrast to the rest of the hotel, this ballroom looked new, bright, shiny and ver well-maintained. You couldn't do anything but marvel at the sight. ”I think the word you're looking for is 'grand', kitten. And yes, it is.” Alastor chuckled, his hands folded behind his back and his gaze floating through the room. “I personally took on the task of restoring it even past it's former glory.” “It's amazing, unbelievable...” A wave of static washed over your legs, a clear sign that he was pleased with your praise. Your ears flicked suddenly, turning to your right.... there was a almost unhearable sound, a muffled sound you couldn't quite place. “I think there is something, or someone, over there.” you cautiously walked over where you pointed at, your ears still up and tense. After a few strides the sound got louder and more distinct. Alastor followed you curiously, his shoes tapping loudly on the polished floor.

What the hell was that sound? You searched for the source, sure that it must be near. On a whim, you pushed aside one of the thick wall curtains, just to find a small, open vent. It's protective grille hung loosely on one lonely screw. The sound was now clearly audible, and it clicked.

“What the... Niffty? Are you in there?!”, you shouted into the shaft, realizing the muffled voice coming out of it to be the little maid's. “(Y/N)? Ipf Pfaht mwuh? Ihm pftuhkk, vleez, phelf mih ouht!!!”, the little muffled voice sounded distraught. “I think she's stuck, Alastor, and can't get out on her own.”, you translated the squished words. She had to be deep in it, you could't see her. “Oh my, that's quite a quandary you got yourself into again, Niffty.” Alastor laughed, looking into the vent. “I've told you more than once to stay out of the ventilation system.” “Pfowwi, sehhr, pfowwiiiiiii, Ai pfont duh eht aghen!”

The tall demon shook his head with a sigh, cleaning and readjusting his monocle. He snapped his fingers, and Niffty appeared, covered in webs and dust. You reached down to her, helping her up and patted her back as she coughed. Alastor gave her a stern look, an eyebrow raised.

“One would think after getting stuck in a vent shaft three times, one would learn a lesson.” The girl frowned. “I didn't want to get stuck! I saw a bunch of hellworms on my way to breakfast gnawing their way through the door and wanted to catch them, but they scurried into the vent before I got to them, so I followed them!” “Well, you can thank our dear (Y/n) for not only noticing you missing, but also for finding you.” Alastor grinned and patted your head, his fingers entangling a few strands of hair, pulling them out into your face when he retracted them. Nifftys one big, orange eye glistened with adoration. Still covered in dust from head to toe she violently hugged you, almost throwing you over, and thanked you over and over again. You awkwardly pattet her head, plucking a small bug from her hair in the process “I'm just glad you are okay. But Alastor is absolutely right – please don't crawl through the vents anymore...” Niffty nodded eagerly with an absent smile – she would definately crawl through vents again - and ran out the doors, presumably to get herself clean and breakfast. You looked down on yourself... and sighed. The girl had not only hugged you ferociously, dissheveling your blouse and belt, but also transfered a good share of dirt and webs from her clothes onto your own in the process. “How unfortunate.” “Mh, let me, kitten.” Alastor grinned impishly, snapped his fingers again and your uniform was sparkilng clean and straightened as if fresh from a dry cleaner. ”I think that should even out the generous nightcap from yesterday, don't you agree?”

Your face reddened instantly. Damn it... so much for ignoring the issue. Peachy your ass. You dropped your head in defeat and embarrassment, readying yourself. “I'm really sorry, I've completely overstepped, it will not happ...” “Nonsense.”, his long, slender fingers gripped your chin, pulling your burning face up to meet his, a devilish smirk on his lips. “I very much appreciate the sentiment, darling. Although next time I'd rather go with something less sweet, but the lavender was a lovely touch.”

To say Alastor was ecstatic was an understatement. He not only had a good laugh and a rare good night's sleep, but his little servant proved to be much more entertaining than he thought. He had so many decades as an overlord under his belt, reigning through fear and intimidation had become his second nature. Even close companions who were bound to him per contracts or deals, like Husk, although feeling more 'comfortable' around him, acted to his will by a permanent sense of dread, afraid of the consequences if they disobeyed. But his little kitten seemed to never even think about not obeying. He reveled in her obedience and bathed his ego in her eagerness to please him. This moment alone felt so wickedly delicious – all through the morning he felt the decent, hidden hints of nervousness from her, but she hid them so well from the others. Especially after Ozul came to report to his room, informing him bemused of her seemingly distressed state as she woke up. It had piqued his never ending curiosity, the reason for her being so on the edge, and much to late to his taste he found out that she was actually embarrassed by her nightly act of compassion, moreover worrying she trespassed his boundaries. Her actions fostered the many creative, tempting ideas Alastor had that night in between his slumber, of ways to test and reinforce the strength of her devotion to him. He was sure she wouldn't stray that easily, far from that. But he found a sense of thrilling challenge to find out in what other ways he could potentially manipulate her stance on him. He felt an excited tug on his shadows from Ozul at that thought, but chose to blatantly ignore him – he should really appoint another, less... attached ... guardian. Nevertheless, his doll reacted to certain touches quite differently than before. Alastor had a deep aversion to physical touches that he didn't initiate. His kitten had never questioned nor tested these boundaries. He, on the other side, had the implicated right to touch others as he pleased, specifically his subordinates. (Y/n) wasn't an exception, and she had always endured them with stoic calmness. But somewhere along the way, particularly since she arrived at the hotel, something must have changed. He heard her elated heartbeat as soon as his fingers touched her chin, saw the faint color painting her faded skin deepen from primrose to downright rouge, even her eyes began to glow a little, shades of pink and blue twinkling over her golden orbs. How wonderfully quaint that was, another delightful puzzle for him to solve.

He heard footsteps coming nearer, the voices of the whole crew traveled with them. He let his hands fall inconspicuously from her heated face down back onto his cane. His kitten must've heard them too, she brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear, straightened her back and perked her ears, turning to the entrance. She masterfully returned to her collected self. Only her cheeks betrayed her, still having a soft, rosy tint, which made him smirk even wider.

My god.... Pull yourself together.

You took long, quiet, calming breaths to stop your heartbeat throbbing in your chest while you averted your face, using your cold hand to cool your cheeks as you pushed the loose strands of hair Alastor had pulled out back. You couldn't explain what was going on, with you or your master. He normally wasn't that touchy, given the occasional pat on the head or a lingering hand on your shoulder. And you've never lost so much control over your body before when he did. That wasn't like you, and you were nervous not knowing why. Maybe the stress of so many new people was getting to you. You had to be in control of your emotions more than before, navigating yourself not only around Alastor, but now around five other people, all while maintaining the image he wanted you to maintain. Surely that must be the problem.

Charlie and the others were on their way, and you had to pull yourself together. You straightened your shoulders, forcing the tenseness in your neck to lessen, and willed yourself to appear as neutral as before. Everything had to be peachy. The doors opened and everyone, including Niffty (who was magically clean and neat), entered the ballroom. Charlies squeals of thanks and praises for you helping Niffty echoed into the wide hall. Alastor had distanced himself from the group, joining Husk with a mocking smile, who looked less than pleased at him, a small, silver flask in his hand.

“Isn't this room amazing, (Y/n)? We've never used it, Alastor has just recently finished it! The constellation theme was Vaggie's idea! And Angel had us put in a stage!”, she spun around, arms wide open. Angel winked at you, raising a brow. “Yeah, well, defeats the purpose a little without a matching POLE, Charles.” “And I think this would be the perfect place to host our first party! Or! Or maybe a formal dance! Maybe that's to fancy, yeha, maybe.. UH! Maybe a charity gala? We could all plan a show, everyone could preopare some kind of act, or program! AH! Wouldn't that be FUN?” Vaggie gave her a crooked smile “Hon, a gala is...” “A marvelous idea! Genius even!”, Alastor cut in, leaning arrogantly on his cane. His eyes glimmered with mischief as he and Vaggie stared at each other. “What better way to spread the word about our diddy hotel and the things we wish to accomplish than showcasing our talents and get interested folks in?” Vaggie huffed “Don't you think that's too ambitious for our first event? And what would our 'talents' be, being insufferable pricks? Putting thirty swearwords in one sentence?” Angel scoffed “EY. Are 'ya sayin we don't have talents,bitch? Have you seen what this body can do?”

“No, that's not what she's saying, Angel.”, Charlie mediated, her prior excitement dampened by this bickering. She turned to Vaggie, putting one hand on her grilfriends cheek. “Why can't we start big? This could be good, for all of us. Working together, getting to know each other, supporting each other in what they are good at! I know we can do it!” Vaggie sighed, her face relaxing at her lovers touch. “Fine. I guess you are right.” You rose your brows – the demonic princess surely had a way with settling disputes. “I guess I don't have the choice to say no, have I?”, Husk grumbled, taking another chug from his flask. “Afraid not, my dear friend. And what a good opportunity for our newest associate to aid our endeavor?” Alastors eyes glowed deep red, full of malicious joy. You blinked. Wait. What?

Charlie spun on her heels to you, tippy-tapping from left to right foot. “Oh yes, of course! (Y/n) will be such a great help! And your performance will be amazing too, I'm sure! Oh! I've never even heard you before. How about you play something for us? Could you? Would you?” Charlies eyes became bigger and bigger, round as dishes, while you became more and more nervous, your tail swishing through the air like a whip. Oh god, please no.

“Just something you already know, just a taste, I swear we won't laugh.” She crept nearer and nearer, her eyes watery and full of glimmer. The others giggled, knowing there was no escaping the inevitable. Oh god, please no.

“Pweeeeeease?”

You looked over to Alastor, who just smiled dubiously, one brow raised at you. You knew too well what that meant.

Oh god...

“It'd be my pleasure.”

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[sapphire-weapon]

You said that part of the fun of old fandom was making backstories for the characters. did you have one for Leon? what was it?

oh boy. this feels so... self-indulgent and cringey now in modern-day fandom, after having dedicated so much time to arguing what is or isn't canon and having to explain multiple times, at great lengths, that the mafia backstory is not canon and why it's not. my brain is just like "shut up and just be glad that people are starting to listen to you at all."

I've mentioned a few of them here and there sporadically over the past few months, so some of these are going to sound very familiar to people who have been following me for a while, but

this is basically the backstory I've come up with for Leon and have been using for mmmm around 20 years, give or take (though I tweaked some slight things to account for Remake Leon, which I'll also note):

● grew up in a suburb around the Hartford, CT area

● only child

● very religious/uptight Catholic mom, dad was basically Mike Cosgrove from Freakazoid

● like seriously, the personalities of his parents couldn't be more different, to the point where it almost doesn't make sense to anyone on the outside looking in how they ended up together at all. but his mom really loves how stable and grounded her husband is and appreciates his really awful sense of humor, and dad fell in love with his wife's cooking and the way she actually laughs at his jokes and the fact that she really believes in something greater than herself -- because he doesn't, and he wishes he did. they also share a taste in music, surprisingly.

● "Scott" is a family name, but Leon's dad was already "the third" and he was like "you really wanna put this kid through being 'the fourth'? that's stupid. just make it his middle name." Leon has never told a single person in his adult life this, but his parents and his very early childhood friends (up until about middle school) actually called him "Scottie" -- because "Scott" was his dad. (yes this headcanon was born directly from how funny I find the whole "Mr. Scott Kennedy" shit in OG RE4 and I'm not sorry) mom's name is Carol.

● mom was a middle school geography teacher (and CCD teacher). dad was a cop (he was bASICALLY COSGROVE)

● was always closer with his dad than his mom, despite the fact that his mom very clearly and very desperately wanted him to be a mama's boy. it wouldn't be quite correct to say that his mom was emotionally abusive, but she definitely didn't Get Him and very rarely actually listened to what he had to say -- she had a pre-constructed image in her head of the kind of person she wanted him to be, and anything that didn't fit that image was either questioned or ignored outright. (NOTE FOR REMAKE-VERSE LEON: this was even worse for Remake Leon, who has a lot more self-awareness than his OG counterpart and started to suspect that he may not be fully straight pretty early in life, even if his conservative upbringing didn't give him the language to express what, exactly, he was feeling. he had a crush on a boy once, vaguely mentioned it in a very roundabout way to his mom, and then spent the next like 10 years convinced he was going to hell. see here for a more in-depth explanation of how I view Leon's sexuality.) dad gave far less of a shit about who his kid was, so long as he wasn't doing dumb shit to get himself in trouble or arrested or something. as a result, Leon's really stupid sense of humor came from his dad, because they did spend a decent amount of time together. the two of them + Leon's uncle (dad's brother), who was maybe a little bit off his rocker, always went hunting once a year.

● was never super religious like his mom is, but still definitely believed. didn't pray regularly -- but prayed enough. he can pinpoint the exact moment that he lost his faith, though: when, while in Raccoon City, he first considered suicide -- and he realized that he was looking not to God for salvation, but to his gun. even as an adult, he won't outwardly classify himself as an atheist, but his general feelings towards God and faith are: "if God is up there, He's not listening anymore."

● wasn't ever super popular in school, but was never an outcast loser nerd, either. he was just kind of... there. he had his own little circle of skater kid/grungecore and metalhead friends, and they just kind of did their own thing.

● didn't actually start to get hot until senior year of high school and kind of thought that people were taking the piss when they started looking at him differently after he'd been so completely ignored as a dating/sexual prospect for so long. plus he had a girlfriend by then, and they'd been together for a while, so he didn't really think too hard about how other people were looking at him, anyway.

● he and his long-term high school girlfriend broke up before they both went off to college, mutually, just because they were going to different schools. (NOTE FOR REMAKE-VERSE LEON: OG Leon lost his virginity to that girlfriend at age 16; Remake Leon didn't. the Remake version of his girlfriend was too prudish to go all the way, but third base was a familiar friend.) this was to the great relief of the girlfriend's dad, who fucking hated Leon's guts and frequently told him that he would never marry his daughter (and once chased him out of the house with a shotgun, but that's a different story).

● played lacrosse in high school. didn't love it, mostly did it to put on college applications. actually wanted to play football, but his mom was adamant about not allowing him to (AND SHE WAS SUPER RIGHT HOLY SHIT DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY AMERICAN FOOTBALL).

● dabbled in some arts stuff here and there in high school and college, but never in a serious way and never for any great length of time. he was more of a math nerd than anything else. but he spent like, half of a school year involved with the lit mag and, despite being a not terrible poet and short story author due to having an inherently romantic nature, dropped it pretty fast out of disinterest. tried being involved with the school paper, dropped that within a year due to disinterest. thought about picking up the guitar because some of his friends were musicians, but never committed to it. the only thing that ever stuck was an interest in film; he spent a decent amount of time in the A/V club and really enjoyed the editing process. probably would've majored in it in college if not for his far greater interest in criminal justice, so he just kept doing it on the side for fun. took some electives for it in college, at the very least, and worked on some student films. mostly horror films, which is ironic to him in hindsight.

● did not go into criminal justice because of his dad; it's just a coincidence that he ended up being interested in the same field that his dad worked. Leon has always had a problem with bullies and was that guy in high school who inserted himself into situations that didn't involve him, just to stand up for someone else. got in only a handful of fist fights as a result of this, and the extent of the scolding from his dad was "knock it off. quit screwin around. you screw around too much." in the most non-committal, "don't actually stop though" tone possible, followed by taking him to get burgers. his mom lost her mind any time he got sent home from school for fighting, though -- and the one time he actually ended up suspended was Literal Hell for that full week. but, either way -- for him, growing up with a very positive opinion of law enforcement to begin with, criminal justice seemed like a natural fit.

● beyond the few times he got in trouble for fighting (in fights he never started and always won), the worst trouble he ever got into was that time his mom found out that he and his friends snuck beer into a Green Day concert in 1994. that was also the first time she learned that her 17-year-old son was already drinking. he got grounded until graduation.

● overall was just a pretty good kid, though. constantly on honor roll. graduated college with a 3.7 GPA.

● mostly behaved in college, too, but he definitely went out and partied when he didn't have anything school-related to worry about. OG Leon partied way more frequently and way harder than Remake Leon did, though. OG Leon dragged his dick all over campus. Remake Leon had maybe a handful of drunken hookups (that still never actually got him laid) and spent most parties being that guy who was taking care of his much drunker friends. catch Remake Leon standing over one of his friends who has their face planted in the sand at a beach party like "hey man. you good? we can't leave yet. I gotta finish this beer." Remake Leon also made an excellent wingman.

● after getting hired at the RPD but before actually able to move out there (in late August, roughly), he did go out to Raccoon City to try to land an apartment so that he'd be ready once he actually did move. he filmed most of that week-long trip in a sort of self-documentary style and edited it all together with the intention of giving it to his parents before he left, in case they started to miss him -- so that they could see where he was and who he'd likely be hanging around with and all that stuff, because he is a Good Boy. he ultimately never finished the very last part of it because of the phone call he got to stay away from the city a week prior to his move, and he soon forgot he'd ever made something like that at all. his mom found it a few months later while cleaning up his room, which she did frequently as a grief response "so that it'll be ready for him when he comes home."

● to date, Leon's family and friends from back home think he died in Raccoon City. the CIA kept a tight leash on where he went and who he spoke to for the first four years of his captivity -- he basically didn't get freedom to live his own life until after Operation Javier. by the time he had the ability to call or visit home, he felt like it was too late -- that it'd be crueler to show up out of the blue after being "dead" for so long -- especially considering that he couldn't stay in their lives. he'd basically just be showing up to say "hey not dead" and then have to disappear again. so he just sort of... let it go. though, of all of the terrible things he's done in the time since then, this is the one thing that weighs heaviest on his conscience -- the one thing that he feels guiltiest about most often. but he continues to stay away, because he has nothing kind to say about the life he's lived or the man he's become. even if he were to go home now, he's convinced that his parents would not recognize their son.

● he doesn't know this, but there is an upright grave marker for him in a cemetery in his hometown dated 1977-1998. buried there is an empty casket with only a framed photo of him. his parents still lay flowers there twice a year: once on his birthday and once on the anniversary of Raccoon City's destruction.

[magmagicstyle]

Eternal Hearts: Bound by Love

“Reject me,” Draco said while looking directly at the redhead in front of him.

“Wh...what?” Ron said, totally confused, the start of the fond feeling of knowing his mate and probably being able to talk to him to have an agreement soon disappearing from his mind.

“Reject me, Weasley” The blonde repeated while his face was void of expression, the cold wall that hid his feelings was as strong as ever. 

In which Draco is an omega resigned to being alone forever, unable to find his soulmate since nobody would like to be with a former death eater and Ron is a short-tempered alpha that is willing to go against all odds to be with his soulmate. After all, he would love them no matter what, right?

It all started with a letter. A bloody letter that would change his whole life forever. Draco’s hands were shaking while he looked at the letter at the innocent age of eleven, he had just received his Hogwarts letter and now he was getting this letter which was the certainty that his future and his father’s dreams were ruined.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, maybe his father wouldn’t be so angry at him. After all, it wasn’t like he chose to be this thing, he was born this way and there was no way that he could change it. Even if he wanted to. His mother would be thrilled, that was quite obvious. It was almost as if she knew before everything about his designation. After all, she always called him sweet nicknames and tried to teach him to act more delicate and almost like an angel that was walking on the earth. 

A few years ago he thought that it was dumb and that he wouldn’t need those kinds of lessons. Now, he was a bit grateful for it. To be honest, if Draco was going to be something, anything, he would be perfect. It wouldn’t matter if he was an alpha or omega, he was going to be perfect, ready to have a mate and satisfy them, in any form that was expected of him. That was something that he was always taught as a Malfoy. It doesn’t matter the thing you are, the career you chose, or the house you are into, what matters is that you make your best effort to be as perfect as possible. So, Draco was going to be perfect. 

That had been just a few months ago. His father wasn’t so mad about him being an omega, but he was quite worried. That was because he knew that the people he surrounded himself with wouldn’t treat him kindly and it was possible that they would try to take advantage of him being an omega. Still, he wouldn’t dare to make Draco feel less for being an omega. After all, even if he seemed like a cold and bitter man while being outside, Lucius loved his son dearly and couldn’t bear the thought of him getting hurt. This meant that the head of the Malfoy Family had to make a change in his attitude and start dealing with other people. At end of the day, he wouldn’t dare to keep working or being with people that could present a danger to his son, or people that would treat him like he was less of a human because of his secondary gender classification. He still found certain families annoying. Like the Weasleys.  But that wasn’t because of their love for muggles or anything like that. Not at all. His dislike came from the fact that even if Arthur Weasley had the chance of gaining more money and power with his knowledge about things that most wizards ignored, he didn’t use it. He shielded himself by calling his obsession a simple hobby and letting his family suffer in poverty. It didn’t matter that they acted like they didn’t care, he could see that their negligent actions were taking a toll on their children. The twins, for example, were incredibly smart (from what Draco had told him before) and they were hiding their talents because of the lack of money. One of their middle children -Percy?- was running to the arms of a stupid man hungry for power just because he felt like his family didn’t give him any way of growing… and the kid was totally right! 

Well, going back to what was important. This revelation of his own son also meant a big change in the way Lucius acted with Draco. It wasn’t totally bad, but he started to be more coddling, doing his best to show his son that even if he was an omega, he wasn’t less loved or less respected than him, that was an alpha. The thing that was a little bit awkward was that Lucius also started to treat Draco like he was more delicate and tried to make him wear more light colours -Draco and his mother drew the line as soon as Lucius suggested that the boy wear skirts or more colours like purple or blue, not that there wasn’t anything bad with that, but he didn’t like those colours, being used to a more monochromatic and dark scheme. Luckily, Lucius understood and without a doubt, he started to bring more delicate and a bit feminine clothes but maintained the colours that his son loved so much. The skirts were a pending discussion. 

Draco was just grateful that he would have another six years before getting the letter from his designated mate. After all, if his father was coddling now, he couldn’t imagine how he would act when Draco decided to fly away from the nest and live with his mate. Still, the blonde boy also hoped for the butterflies that would appear in his stomach as soon as he met his mate. It would be amazing, he would love every second of it.

[thrashersasuke]

sasuke really is a character completely about love man. like. people who don’t like sasuke in the post time skip/shippuden are illiterate and dumb. but when ppl don’t like him in pre time skip/part 1 because he’s annoying, ungrateful, emo, “only cares about himself and killing itachi” it’s like. how did any of you people read/watch sasuke be the first person to give naruto some of his lunch despite being told he cant or he wont become a ninja (which he as to do because his goal is to kill a certain someone remember that guys he says it just a few chapters/episodes ago guys Remember), sacrifice himself for naruto in land of the waves even though he still has to kill his older brother (guys look sasuke despite coming off as cold and uncaring and selfish continuously puts himself in harms way guys Look), get bit by orochimaru while trying to protect sakura and naruto (oh god what could this mean for sasuke guys oh no), use the curse mark despite kakashis warning and is very visibly hurting him to protect sakura and naruto from gaara (guys he keeps Sacrificing Himself for his “precious comrades” what could this Mean Guys), goes to protect naruto from itachi because he knows itachi is dangerous and runs around the city looking for him, wakes up and is manipulated into leaving the village from the sound ninja and does it in a way that is directly contradicting what itachi said. itachi tells sasuke in order to get the power he needs to kill him sasuke has to kill his best friend…. so sasuke… leaves in the middle of night so no one can stop him. when naruto catches up to him he tries to make naruto Go Away so they don’t have to fight. when he has the perfect chance to kill naruto when he’s passed out he Walks Away…. to call sasuke ungrateful or selfish or uncaring when he was a kid it’s just so.. like there’s just no hope for these people bruh

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

okie chokie, let’s go

uhhh

just gonna paste this directly from my notes cuz I suck at summarizing…

Witch au:

Okay, so this entire thing essentially revolves around lunar because um reasons that I don’t feel like disclosing (I have none). Okay. So. There’s this funky lil pendant that pretty much everyone sees as a priceless artifact. There’s legends surrounding at, whispers of untold power beyond time and space, secrets that bend reality to your every whim. (Fun fact that definitely isn’t important at all: KC helped design it!) So of course, a certain orange dorito man goes looking after it. He’s dedicated pretty much his entire life to researching its abilities and whereabouts, and finally, after countless years of searching, it’s in the palm of his hand. Exceeeept…whoops! He doesn’t know how to use it. And he tries everything: he flips through all his texts, all the notes left behind, but there’s nothing said about activating it. He tries knocking, incantations, different acids and solvents (fun fact: he was an alchemist’s apprentice for a lil while in his youth!) to no avail. Finally, he rubs the dumb thing like Alladin’s lamp, grasping for straws before giving up and tossingn the damn thing across the room. And who should come out but a little ghost, curious to see who disrupted its vessel.

Lunar is essentially like Casper. Very sweet and friendly, but a little oblivious of boundaries. Besides, he hasn’t been outside in a loooong time; he’s eager to explore and check out what’s changed, much to Eclipse’s chagrin. He doesn’t exactly like the new spirit, but it’s the only lead he has in unlocking the pendant’s power. So, he puts up with him, albeit not with the…best treatment. Eclipse isn’t exactly well-versed with kids; he hardly got to be one for very long. That, and his main priority is the pendant; Lunar’s a liability. He conducts a good deal of experiments, trying to set Lunar free from the object, but that is seemingly impossible. As Eclipse’s experiments continue to fail, his temper grows shorter, and Lunar suffers all the worse for it. Eventually, Eclipse gives up altogether and scraps the project regarding Lunar’s involvement, and seeks out someone to just break the pendant in hopes that that’ll work (his time working on it have made him…less than mentally stable). So, poor Lunar finds out and is cast to the wayside, seemingly forgotten. He resolves to run away and escape Eclipse’s place (since he has no real ties there besides the emotional abuse and manipulation on Eclipse’s part) with the pendant tied around his neck. 

He wanders around for a lil while, and what should he happen upon but a nice little cabin in the middle of the woods. It’s a lot cozier than Eclipse’s, and he wanders inside in hopes of somehow figuring out how to solve this little amulet issue since it’s…kinda not great for him either. So he explores the little house, only to be caught red handed by our good friend the witch.

Moon is the witch in this au. He, like Eclipse, was also an alchemist under KC, but he actually completed his training and went on to study on his own, becoming fairly well-versed in magic and the dark arts. Anywho, he walks into his cabin and meets this little ghost who looks absolutely terrified at his presence. Moon assures him that he’s not here to cause any trouble, and the ghoul seems to relax, if only slightly. Moon essentially decides to just let him stay for as long as he wants to, only saying that he might have a bit of an issue with his brother…

Sun isn’t a witch like Moon, He dabbled a little bit in alchemy, but he only knows the basics of that and most magic. His knowledge gravitates more towards creatures of myth and legend. He’s a demon hunter of sorts (he runs into a particular demon at some point…), collecting the necessary ingredients for Moon’s experiments, as well as a few of his own. He comes home a week or two after Lunar, and, considering his line of work, may have…overreacted a little. Moon stops him and explains the situation, after which Sun profusely apologizes to a wary and somewhat fearful Lunar. 

I’m gonna just cut myself off here cuz I ran out of steam for the day.

(uhh @sunnyinajar mmmgonna tag you cuz uh you seemed uh somewhat hyped about this jumble of ideas earlier but uh I dunno yea here’s this um yes right sorry for tagging you if you already saw it or didn’t uh wanna see it and uh yeah I’m gonna stop talking before I delete this entire thing and shove it down a garbage shoot-)

[bookishbrigitta]

Okay, so I'm making my Wookiee house and using photos from the SW Holiday Special for reference, and honestly? The special does not get enough hate for its shitty home design. Observe:

The Kitchen

I would bet you passage to Alderaan for an old man, a dumb kid, and 2 droids that a man who can't cook designed this kitchen.

Let's set aside the wood paneling as a design choice. It was the 1970s, and they're living in a tree...it's not worth fighting. Moving right along, the everything here is an absolute shit show.

It's a freaking carpeted kitchen. Look at the pink circle in the lower right. It appears the producers covered the green shag carpet in the rest of the house with one of those plastic mats for the kitchen. Better than straight-up carpet, but COME ON! Presumably, that is also why the weird oven has to be jacked up on a weird pedestal, to prevent it from sinking into the shag and/or melting the plastic.

They have no upper cabinets. Or even shelves! Or a hutch! Even I, a certified short person, knows that is a dumb idea. Wookiees are super tall; surely, it's more ergonomic for them to reach up or out to grab a glass than it is to get on their knees and rifle through the lower cabinets?

On that note, the cabinets look to be off-the-rack from a home improvement store and then they slapped space-age-y drawer fronts on (more on that later). Why do I think that? They seem to be standard height...for humans. Wookiees are tall! Look at the red circle. Malla's arm is almost completely extended down and barely reaches the worktop, even with her shoulders already rounded in. That means basically any time she's handling food or knives, she has to bend down. Terrible.

The weird rectangle on the far wall (circled in blue). What is it? Why is it there? Wouldn't, say, shelves be a better use of space? We see another angle in the red circle below. They've got either drying dishes or dish/utensil storage on the countertop. Nothing wrong with that if you need it, but they have room directly above to hang those things up. Clear the work surface, for God's sake!

Where does that massive garbage can live? And why doesn't it have a lid? I know they made them with lids because my grandparents have that same garbage can in their garage.

6. Back to the cabinets (yellow circle). I get it, circles look outer-space-y, but they have no place in cabinets. WTF can you even store in there??

7. Once again, we have more wasted work space with the TV (green circle) sitting on the counter. Sigh.

8. People are going to see this photo and say that the bucket (pot?) and counter looks to be at an okay ergonomic height. Yes, this counter height works for this specific instance, but not for most others. In this case, she could have had taller counters and just used the shorted dining table for the bucket thing. It's what I do when I knead bread. It's not rocket science.

9. Cardinal rule of kitchens with windows is to put the sink by the window. Not only is the sink not there, but it looks like maybe they just don't have a sink. I give this a grade of E for E.Coli.

10. There are no hooks or rails anywhere, so there is no place to hang up a rag or an apron. Malla has a tea towel chilling on the counter in this very photo -- where does it end up afterwards? How do they dry them out so they don't get manky?

The Living Room

Despite the low-res photos, I'm reasonably certain their living room furniture is literally just a dining set, two bookshelves (which I honestly love the look of, TBF), a weird desk, a ginormous coffee table, and two mismatched chairs facing dead-ahead and not towards each other. It's giving "Single Man Plays PS4 From A Folding Chair" vibes.

It looks like there's no comfortable place to have a conversation in that living room. Why is all the furniture just sort of floating in the middle of the room? Someone get Cliff the Feng Shui Guy on this, stat!